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wavy-gorl · 2 years

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did not realize there was a community for this, but this is the internet i should've known

hi i was born with a cleft soft and hard palate, i didn't have a cleft lip or anything else (still tagging this because i wanna reach anyone who understands), my mom told me that i also have the thing where you have a really small chin combined with a cleft palate but i don't remember the name of the condition

i've like literally never been able to talk to anyone else who's had one and i mean my friends all know about it and i love them, but like they don't fully understand bc they haven't experienced it, you know how it is

but uh yeah i've always felt really weird labeling myself as like disabled or anything like that because i've always felt like my cleft palate wasn't enough but honestly my entire life has kinda revolved around it so i feel like i should

here's the part where i'm going to dump in a list all of my super specific experiences in hopes that someone will relate because i am so serious when i say that i've never talked to someone who relates before:

tw: idk medical stuff, ed mentioned (arfid specifically), mildly graphic i guess (just complaining about medical stuff i've had to deal with)

i've had 11 surgeries (feeding tube, adenoids removed, palate repairs, and ear tubes)

i have this sick as fuck second belly button and honestly sometimes i forget that most people only have one and i have to do a double take when i see other people's boring abdomens

i have a list of foods that i cannot eat because they taste like general anesthesia (including but not limited to: whoppers, onion rings, cranberry juice, blue candy hearts, and wintergreen life savers)

i was diagnosed with arfid recently, but i've had it my entire life because i had a feeding tube for the first year of my life and so i just cannot handle most food textures

i have really bad social skills and low self-esteem because i got bullied when i was younger because people couldn't understand me because my voice was really weird, this got better with surgeries but it didn't fix my lack of social skills

I HATED SPEECH THERAPY, like 14 years of it did not make s sounds easier to pronounce

i need hearing aids but i can't get them because i have holes in my ears and extreme drainage, but the holes are good because they allow my ears to drain but the fact that there's drainage is still bad and ahhhhhh

i'm 19 but i still have to go back and forth between the children's hospital and the regular one when it comes to palate stuff and it's honestly annoying sometimes (everyone's nice though so it's fine)

eating is awful because nose stuff i don't want to go into detail but iykyk (don't make me laugh while eating)

i don't have a uvula and when people find out, it's suddenly the most interesting fact they know about me and i don't get it

not even i know my full medical history it is so incredibly complex

i have a collection of my wristbands

the worst fucking thing in the world was the stupid nasal endoscopy, like early covid brain-poking tests were fucking nothing compared to that stupid camera going up my nose

mouth breathing

i have random vocal/breathing tics (i guess tic is the right term?) and they are annoying but yeah

every goddamn time i went to the orthodontist, he would always say every FUCKING TIME "don't let your mom tell you that you have a big mouth because i'm here to tell you otherwise" LIKE I GET IT

when i got my teeth pulled, the laughing gas didn't work because 1.) that shit's so weak and 2.) i had to breathe it in through my nose exclusively (mouth breathing point), but they didn't believe me and went along with the procedure anyway and after experiencing that, hell has nothing on me

my role model growing up was lentil bean, the cleft palate dog

the only piece of media i ever related to was Wonder, but even that one contributed to me feeling like i hadn't gone through enough to consider my cleft palate a big deal

i am a musician (singer and percussionist) but i can't breathe, hear, or speak properly and so i bet you can imagine how hellish that is

i had to quit dance when i was younger because i kept missing entire seasons because of my surgeries (since recovery was like 4 weeks sometimes) and i really wish that i didn't have to

ok yeah that's all i can think of please someone relate to me god please

#cleft palate #cleft lip #craniofacial #cleft chin #cleft palate and lip #fuck i don't know how to tag this #please someone see this #like i swear i am trying to tag the shit out of this so that literally anyone can get me

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homosexualmorelikehomiesexual · 4 years

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stuff i know about cooking

For baking - use butter for the oil and milk instead of water. Add vanilla, i don’t care if it doesn’t call for it. Add. The. Vanilla. Add some cocoa powder if its brownies or cake or fudge or anything chocolate. (on that note, use semi sweet chocolate chips, not regular.)

Anything involving pasta - salt the water and add butter/olive oil before putting the noodles in. If you can, make your own sauce.

For spaghetti sauce? chop up a bunch of tomatoes doesn’t matter what kind, add a shit ton of basil (fresh if you can get it) and garlic and salt and pepper, put it in a pan with a little olive oil. boom, you have sauce.

For white sauce.. butter. garlic. in a pan. brown it. add a spoonful of flour until its lumpy. turn the heat down. pour your milk in and stir until the lumps melt and the liquid is getting thick. add a shit ton of parmesan. more parm that that. dont ever add mozzarella, it makes the texture all funky. put sliced mushrooms or green onion in with the garlic and butter, if you like that.

Anything that involves cheese, add some parmesan. And dont you dare buy the pre shredded stuff, get an actual block of parmesan, p l e a s e trust me its so worth it. Add cream cheese if you think you can get away with it.

For mac and cheese, use about 2 1/2 cups of dry noodles and enough water to cover them in the pot. cook the noodles. (add your butter and salt, also throw in some beef bouillon and garlic. When in doubt, bouillon and garlic are your friends.) boil covered until they’re almost done, then take off the lid until theyre done and theres not much water left. add more butter. add some cream. add a shit ton of cheddar cheese. add some parm. add black pepper and maybe more salt. add cooked ground beef if you have the incentive to make it before, if you didn’t its really good as it is.

For ramen, hard boil an egg in the water. ditch the flavor packet for beef buillion, and garlic and onion powder. if you want it to taste like actual asian food, add oyster sauce and a liiiiitle bit of sesame seed oil. add a pat of butter. take out the egg after 6-10 minutes, remove the shell, put it back in the broth. add some frozen shrimp. add your noodles. if you want, add frozen peas right before the noodles are done. if you dont want faux asian food, forget the sesame oil and oyster sauce, instead add leftover chicken if youve got it, lemon pepper seasoning (beware its mostly salt), lots of black pepper, a little extra butter and garlic, and only use chicken bouillon. once its done, add a dollop of sour cream on top.

For eggs, add cheese+salt+pepper+garlic. The more you beat them, the fluffier they are. Add cheese after its mostly cooked, if you do it while it cooks it just sticks to the pan. If you want to make it more portable, pour the egg into the pan with some butter. dont touch it, wait until it bubbles, then place a tortilla on top. kinda gently press down on it so it sticks. wait a little bit, then flip it and add cheese. then fold. slice it up and eat it with sour cream or ranch, you’ve got yourself a breakfast quesadilla

For pancakes...i’m sorry, i dont know why i suck at making pancakes, i always have, its a curse BUT! thats ok bc i can teach you the art of french toast.. 2-3 eggs, milk, vanilla, cinnamon. in a bowl, mix it. add some ginger/nutmeg/allspice along with the cinnamon if you wanna be fancy. have your bread on your far left, then the bowl of goop super close to the pan to avoid dripping, then an empty plate to the right of the pan. turn on the heat, once you add some butter and it kinda foams, its hot enough. QUICKLY dip a piece of bread in the egg stuff, once on each side. plop it in the pan. it will make big scary noise, don’t be afraid wait about a minute, flip it over. once its done, add another piece of butter. turn down the heat and repeat the process, you will need less butter and less heat as time progresses. the longer the bread soaks in the egg, the more soggy it will be. you dont want that. serve it with butter and enough brown sugar to make your teeth cringe just looking at it. throw some strawberries on that bitch for pizzazz. (also when you clean out the pan if its still hot it make Big Scary Sound when you put cold water on it. this is normal its just physics doin its thing)

TL;DR: when in doubt, garlic. bouillon. parmesan. butter. vanilla. cocoa powder. brown sugar. google how to make pancakes because i truly cannot help you

#food #recipies #charlie is long winded #french toast #ramen #mac n cheese #spaghetti #pasta #cheese #cheat day #how to cook #easy recipies #cheap food #cooking lesson

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lordvatera · 3 years

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Hero

By: Vatera Sen

I remember the event quite vividly. Meaning, I don’t remember much of the details, like where or when it happened. I just know that it did happen.

It happened in my 2nd year in Saudi Arabia, probably. Maybe it was late from my 1st year? Anyways, I was young. Like 12 or 11 years old.

This was the time I was starting to enjoy adventure. The thrill of being able to see some spectacular scenery. The thrill of our curiosity driving to our heads what might we see on the other side of the road, the mountain, sea, lake and possibly, the sky someday. The thrill of what we may see along the way of the road. The thrill of being able to experience the events with people you’re with and sometimes meeting really cool people that you don’t expect to see in such a place. It was that time that I started to enjoy travelling.

So, the incident happened like any other day ever.

We packed our things.

We prepared our food.

We prepare our ride.

We plan how to get there.

We meet up with our friends who’ll join us.

Then we ride.

What I didn’t like about adventures, is the long 2 hour drive. Especially if there are no stops. When I’m in the car, my priority is my legs and neck. Plus snacks. Very important.

The car wasn’t that big. It was a decent size, like one of those Toyota 2000’s, but a bit bigger and higher than the Toyota. The problem is my 2 other brothers. I’m the middle child. But I get to have the right window of the car. Which is awesome. I’ve never had to fight for that position, they’re always fighting for the left window which usually ends up my older brother, kuya Lowell, to take it and Laurent to sit in the middle.

What I do in the back of the car is just either eat, look or sleep. I mostly sleep and so do my brothers. But at the very beginning of the trip, we would always have a competition of who ever lasts the longest until they fall asleep, wins. It was fun cause during the 1st hour we would be wide awake and will keep an eye on each other. Then once someone falls asleep we play pranks on them, like put a booger or sometimes put boogers in their snoring mouths. Sometimes we would cover their nose or put drawings on their faces. But most of the time, we were just tricking each other pretending we were asleep.

Then there are the snacks. It’s always brought out after the first hour, if we are not sleeping, but if we were it was usually eaten on the destination or going home. The snacks provided are usually Mommy’s choices. She usually packs chips, candies, bars, drinks and my favorite chocolates. But chocolates aren’t brought that much cause it melts. But there are times she would bring them and I was the one who usually eats them.

Sometimes, we would stop and do our one's. But there are also times when we can't stop, this was daddy's idea by the way, we would just do it in our empty bottles. This is the time I learned to think outside the box. Because you cannot always do your one's in the toilet or the nature, you also CAN STORE IT! Daddy is an innovator.

Then sometimes, when we stop to pee, we would see some sights you wouldn't normally see. Like big rock formations 4 up to 6 stories high. And sometimes, if the other people with us had a bigger vehicle, we would go off-road. There are also camels and we would get permission if we could ride them. Everytime we ask, the owners are really kind and would let us. The camels, when we are riding them, are tall. The texture of their fur is rough, it was almost similar to sandpaper. When they walk, it feels weird. You can feel their bones moving and that would make you sway from left to right, but for me, it felt weirdly nice.

But to all that, when we arrive at our destination, I always disliked taking our things out, like our tents, food, drinks, equipment and some other stuff. It’s so heavy and my legs are also weak from all the sitting I’ve done. Sometimes I would not just grab my family’s stuff, I would also have the urge to help the people who were with us unpack their stuff. I hated the labour, but I liked the helping part of it.

On trips like this, our usual destinations are usually the Red Sea, tombs, desserts and mountains. But this incident was somewhere on the Red Sea.

Before I helped them, I always looked at the scenery of where we’re at.

It was relaxing.

I stood next to the water. Almost touching it.

This may look beautiful but beyond that is frightening.

Beyond the sea, wasn’t empty. A range of mountains could be seen afar. I knew that land is Egypt. Almost reachable. But before I enjoyed the place longer, I went back to the car and helped.

We first took out our stuff from the car and set up our camp. Then set our tables, chairs and tarp. Our spot was beside the beach.

After a few minutes, we were settled in and ready to have fun. I, my brothers and three other friends prepared to swim. I removed my shirt and pants. I already have my swimming shorts underneath.

Usually I’ve already headed to the beach and swam and splashed the water a lot, but today was different. My parents bought a small lifeboat.

It could only hold two people. It had two two meter paddles. It was small, but back then I thought it was really big.

When we were unpacking everything from the car, I was the one who took the lifeboat. I headed straight for the lifeboat and asked for the air pump. I didn’t even wait for anyone, I thought ‘I’m gonna be the first one to ride this! I ain’t sharing it.’

I almost got it on the water before anyone else came, but unfortunately, mommy called me over and asked to share the boat with someone else. I didn’t like it, but what else could I’ve done. This is mommy we’re talking about. She has this intense aura that you can’t fight. She also has this ultimate technique called, ‘Eye Piercing Soul’. She doesn’t call it that though, if she did her menacing technique would lose its effect.

Then after she called me over, she called one of my friends over. It was Vinz.

I met Vinz later on after I came to Saudi Arabia. My mommy is great friends with his mom and one day they decided to visit each other and introduce their children to each. Then after we met, we all just became really really good friends. I mean, how come you won’t be friends with the people you’ve gone to all kinds of adventures and houses?

Then I and Vinz got into the lifeboat.

We row and row and row. It felt like we were sliding on top of the sea; almost similar to flying. We were on water, but we didn’t feel the water. We splashed the water against my brothers and friends. Then they splashed and almost rocked the boat. We row in circles, sometimes our coordination gets ruined but we manage to get back our control over the boat. But, we never went to the deeper parts. We didn’t even wanna try. We were already having so much fun in the shallow areas.

Then after all the rowings that we’ve done, our arms were so heavy. We rested our heads on the edge. I tried looking at the sky but there were no clouds, so all I could see was the bluish colour of the noon sky and the sun.

The sun was too bright, so I closed my eyes and covered it with my arm.

I could still feel the heat. I know it’s still there. I know the world around me hasn’t stopped just because I closed my line of sight. I was more familiarized with the world through the image I see, but in these kinds of moments is where I realized that the world is just as beautiful as I hear, feel, smell or maybe taste them.

In these moments, my thoughts just flow with ideas and thoughts. It even intensified because I was literally flowing where the waves were taking me. I felt calm and inspired.

I remember the trips that we’ve previously done. The time we went fishing, hunted lobsters but I didn’t get to eat them cause I fell asleep waiting for the lobster, the time where I lost two of my teeths on the mountains and where we got to first experience snow.

I remember the games that I played and what I planned to play. I remember the things I wanted to eat; the spicy rice in KFC was really good, Kabsa was so filling and delicious plus the lambs.

Then I thought about─

─ “Lance!” I was brought back to reality.

“Bakit?” Why?

“Nasa malalim na tayo!” We’re in the deep!

I looked down below me.

My whole body went from warm to cold. My head was melting, I couldn’t think straight. My body felt heavier than it was before. My chest started beating rapidly, I could feel the rush of adrenaline already.

I deny this is actually happening.

“Hindi! Mababaw lang to. Colour light blue lang sya.” This is no big deal! It’s just an illusion of the colour light blue that’s making it seem deep.

I couldn’t remember what Vinz replied, but I think he disagreed with me. But then he offered a suggestion, “Sukatin mo nang paddle mo, try mong ireach yung bottom.” Take the paddle. Try reaching the bottom.

So I did. I dipped my paddle into the water, thinking about whether a shark is going to bite my arm while doing it. I couldn’t reach the bottom.

I couldn’t reach the bottom.

I can’t reach it.

Another rush of adrenaline came but with all my nerves reacting. I could feel the nerves in my fingers as they reacted. It reacted so much that my own nerves hurt me, especially my hands.

I Was Scared.

“Talon kaya ako, baka niloloko lang tayo eh. Try kong ireach yung bottom.” I should probably jump, maybe it’s just a trick. I’ll try reaching the bottom.

I leaned on the edge, hoping it’s a trick of the eye.

Then I felt Vinz’s hand stopping me from jumping and told me to stay and wait. Help will come.

It calmed me down.

I looked behind me to where our camp site is. They had already noticed that we were really far away. I could see my daddy swimming towards us. He was still far behind, but it did give me hope.

Then came next was Vinz’s father after daddy.

I looked at what’s in front of me. We were almost at deep blue waters. I had noticed that the waves that were pushing us, were not going towards the beach. It was going towards the other side of the sea to Egypt.

In my head, I remember that if I were ever lost, I should stay where I am until I’m found. So that’s what I did. I waited for daddy to come.

“Kalmado ka na ba?” Are you now calm?

I was.

“Kala ko tatalon na ikaw talaga.” I thought you were actually gonna jump.

I was.

So we both waited.

A few minutes of swimming, I saw Vinz’s dad get exhausted from it. He went back. But daddy kept on going, he doesn’t even know what’s happening behind him. He was focused on us.

A few seconds later, a miracle happened. Two strangers out in the deep blue sea with just their donut came to us and realized we were in trouble. They came to help and push us back to where we are.

At this moment, I didn’t think daddy’s energy was draining him from all the swimming. I only thought that ‘I’m saved’. But now that I’ve thought about it, he could’ve drowned or collapsed or gotten his leg cramped. That’s why I think the two strangers who helped us were not to save us, it was to save dad.

“Shukran la!” Thank you! We both thanked the strangers.

Then daddy reached us. He went behind and pushed us with the help of the strangers.

At this moment, it was calming. The wind blew again against our faces but this time we were facester and didn’t get tired at all. It was almost a luxury.

This lasted a few minutes until we reached the shallow area and got off on the boat into the water where we could reach the bottom with our feet.

I was so happy I was alive. I literally thought I was gonna die, but I didn’t.

Then I noticed what had happened to daddy.

He was limping.

He sat on a chair and put up his feet. His whole toe was covered in blood. He was in pain. Mommy applied some first-aid techniques that she could do with daddy doing it also. They use salt water and wrap it with whatever cloth they could find.

Daddy wasn’t struggling too much. At the time I thought that he really was a strong person, which I think he still is, but during this time he was suffering from the pain from a wound that would likely leave a big scar.

I was guilty of that scar.

This event wasn’t really deadly to me. What daddy had done was far more dangerous than what we’ve done and could’ve ended in a bad way. But that courage that he showed also left a big impression on me. It made me respect and love my father more than ever. And he did not only do that once, but multiple times in my life.

His heroism didn’t stop here.

It kept coming back from time to time.

#GiveThanks HappyBirthday!

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