Hey! I love your blog ♡ I'm glad there are still active TURN blogs around. On that note, I've been trying to find more ppl to follow to get a bit more of it on my dash, but I get the feeling most of my follows are to mostly dead blogs? Would you recommend me one or two that still post about it? (As many as you can tbh). Thank you and happy holidays! (♡ your header's lovely btw). P.S: How do you feel about Caleb Brewster?

thank you so much! 

of course, here’s a quick list of some blogs i know of that post TURN on a pretty regular basis:

@francishollahyde@unshaven-insane@ragtags@townhulls@revolutionarytea@americantoinette@continentalblue@baguetteems@postsfrom1776@princesspatria (tumblr won’t let me actually tag her for some reason)@1hamandjam1@schoop-de-doop@bucephalussays@historicalhuman@general-wheeee@hiddensidekick

(to all turn fans who see this: help out and REBLOG/LIKE THIS if you post about turn:ws!!)

about Caleb Brewster, I’m so glad you asked, but i’m going to put it under the cut because this could get long (also, spoilers)

GOD i love this chaotic bastard angel of a man. he’s wild, he’s funny, a ball of pure energy. he’s so off-the-wall insane but he’s also a rock. he’s the anchor to our little core four of characters. he’s Ben’s conscience and companion, Abe’s voice of reason and sometimes the fire under him, he’s Anna’s safe space. He cares for them, protects them, keeps them sane.

somewhere in a book on the Culper ring it talks about Caleb kinda being “in it” for the fun of it rather than purely for “the cause” and I thought that was really interesting because Caleb is portrayed in a similar light in the show - he is shown to hate the redcoats and have disgust for tories but it’s usually more on the behalf of the people he loves, not so much a personal dislike. he hates Simcoe for Abe and Anna in the beginning (and hits him when he teases Ben). but I’ve always gotten the feeling that it’s his loyalty to the people he loves that drives him more than a general sense of injustice (which is what drives Ben and Anna- is this making any sense? who knows).

speaking of loyalty, let’s talk about that! Caleb is the most ride or die bitch you will ever find (apart from Mary, i think that’s what makes them understand each other so well). in one of the deleted s1 scenes, Caleb and Ben talk about Caleb leaving the army after the new year because his bounty will be up. buT THEN DING DONG, BEN IS IN DANGER and so Caleb, of course, stays and I get the feeling he wouldn’t have really left in the first place. Caleb’s loyalty fuels him to heights and limits the other characters shy away from and it makes him invaluable to the cause.

another thing: I have rarely heard a male character admit his wrongs and apologize as consistently as Caleb. when he makes the wrong decision or fucks up, he admits to it and attempts to make it right (even when he’s not really in the wrong!!! example: ALL OF SEASON FOUR THE FUCK). He apologizes to Anna when he insults her ability and calls spying “men’s work,” he tells Ben that he understands that Ben is dealing with more than he [Caleb] has to after the fight with Bradford, and when confronted by Robert, he apologizes and takes full responsibility for what happened to Samuel Townsend. this boy is by no means perfect but he knows that and attempts to be better after his mistakes and i love him for it!!!

and dANIEL HENSHALL can we talk about the incredible work that man put into this show. he’s the lovable madman for 3 seasons and then suddenly there’s a PTSD storyline and Dan just blended it in there in a way that felt real and believable. he made it hurt when Caleb wasn’t his usual sunshiny self (which we got a preview of in 1x10 when Caleb’s uncle is killed - heartbreaking scene), he made it hit home when Caleb sits against the tree and screams about how Simcoe has won. and theN 4x08 when Caleb nods to Ben like, “I’m going to do this and I’m going to be okay,” our hearts burst with happiness and relief because even though he’s never going to be the same he’s still Caleb fucking Brewster and we love him. I love him.

misc other things i love: this man’s smile!!!!!!! fucks me up. it’s like sunshine. his clothes: iconic. that BEARD: ICONIC. his eyes are so pretty. the adorable way he holds that huge ass tea cup and shakes his head when Mary asks if he wants sugar. the way he flirts with literally everyone. how he tells Robert he loves him after getting sucker punched. I CO NI C.

I feel like this is all jumbled and very badly summarized but that’s the jist of it? I could do another section on how much he loves Ben but that would get really shippy and long (longer than this already is jesus)

tl;dr Caleb is baby

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Learn to know your mutual and followers! :)

Five things that make me happy? You do know I almost never do short posts unless I am reblogging art, right? 😄 Have some words!

1. Making someone's day.

Doesn't happen nearly enough, mostly because I don't anticipate anything I do to be able to do that. It's special when it does and it becomes a really warm, golden, comfortable memory, like being safe and warm, a homemade afghan fresh from the dryer kind of memory.

2. Creating something with someone.

There is nothing I enjoy as much as taking an idea and running with it, bouncing ideas off others, frequently at a speed that borders insanity. @justiceforthedas and @morgandarcyarts have been my latest sounding boards. It's phenomenal energy and everything just seems to click into place. Normally, this is creative writing, but making shit like this happen at work with ideas, processes, or forms (wheeee for battling Excel), that works too.

3. An addition to #2 - MOTHERFUCKING WORLD BUILDING.

When I took an established world full of disparate parts and figured out how to make them work together, how to make rules work so you wouldn't write yourself into a corner, so you simply knew how shit worked and could logically, if highly-caffeinately, explain to anyone willing to listen? To be posted a what-if and be able to follow all that theory without a glitch and without retconning? High as a fucking kite. And it doesn't matter if it's at established world or my own.

4. Being able to have real conversations.

An exchange of ideas, bantering differing ideas and opinions without bloodshed, expounding on common ideas? I guess this goes with #s 2 and 3 as well. I am big into communication, apparently, and I have always been better at expressing things in written form.

I miss the days when blogs and forums were known more for this, when not agreeing 100% with something didn't get you in front of a bloodthirsty mob. Where just because my experiences didn't match yours point-by-point, that didn't make them invalid. We are all individuals. How can we possibly experience and relate something exactly the same way? There are far too many variables. And though there are some universal bads (abuse, torture, oppression, etc.):

Neither one of us has to be wrong.

5. A truly unexpected moment of good.

At rehearsal this week, we were practice soprano/alto chorus. I am a mezzo, cast as stage chorus and understudy. Outside of the leads, there are a whopping three sopranos. And all of us were congested as hell Thursday. 😄 So getting out clear notes, hitting that fucking high F right off the bat, and ya know, breathing, was interesting. When we two soprano u/s sang our lil bits in the song, we were both rough, me moreso. End of the night, everything is draining, can't drink enough water to stay hydrated to save my life kinda rough. Yet as we were putting up chairs/resetting the room, I was trying to sing my part and get something out to prove to myself (and others) that I could be an understudy and wasn't miscast...

And the chorus sang their part directly after mine.

I can't explain what it felt like to have 15-20 people listening and responding in song to something I sang. I want to do them proud so badly, to not let them down and give them something good so when we do sing with leads, we aren't struggling, but they floored me with that.

...

Anyone who wants to do this, can. Sometimes, I will tell things about myself. Mostly? Here? I get the feeling no one really listens any more. Things need to be in soundbyte form or tiny bits or with pretty pictures. That's not me. And I am brassy, full of opinions that I am not afraid to state, even when they fly in the face of the masses. That's why I don't fit.

She-Ra Rewatch: season 3 and onwards through season 4, and boatloads of Introspection time!

So Ive been rewatching She-Ra with my partner, because sharing Entrapdak is caring. I could probably squee on about that for a century or more (because eeee, sharing things i love with people i love AND THEY EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS AND REMEMBER THEM!)...but ill spare you, kind internet strangers who for some reason find my thoughts mildly interesting enough to be reading this. This is going to be a lot. Like, a LOT. A lot especially from a stranger that youve probably only seen a notification from due to me sticking a heart on your content or for reblogging something lovely youve made in pictures or words. I dont think anything is going to be violently trigger-y because im not always great at judging that stuff and also ive yet to feel quite comfy enough to be  fully open-posting specifics about my own past trauma, other than a vague allusion to self-harm and distant-ish unspecified abuse aaaand the usual childhood garbage truck of assholes....but i suppose you could possibly draw some darker potential conclusions from the content im focused on. Also, my ADHD makes it incredibly hard to keep to a straight and non-branching narrative so...ramble-y bits and expressions of brain frustration ahoy. Either way...you are forewarned, just in case. Sorry in advance, this is going to be a small booklet by the time Im done explaining, and thinking, and then attempting to stick words to abstract feels which sometimes im great at, and then others i fucking suck at...but at least this is all written and not me trying to say this to any of your faces! Thats....a mercy all of its own. Haa...  Anyway, while rewatching with my partner, I realized just how much more painful parts of it are to sit through now...they were the first time, and each time since, but NOW having spent a while mulling over the series as a whole a bunch, and reading a lot of other peoples writings on here and finding myself largely in agreement with most Entrapdak fan’s assessment of things, I just....feel like all the air is ripped out of me during some moments, watching  with keener insight. And despite thinking i had myself reasonably well figured out by my age, its all also made me further consider a few things about myself as well. Particularly my notable internalized fury response to chunks of it which have been consistent through all my viewings of SPOP. With Hordak at least, its way easier to understand my reactions. For me at least. Maybe not so much for the people around me. And, shittier due to intensity and subject matter, but still easier in the long run because...the broken bits in me that he resonates with are fresher and sharper and still more recent, like within the last ten years, and thus more towards the front shelves in my head, compared to things that resonate with Entrapta, which are all old, lifelong dull aches at this point. I feel like nothing i can point to is fully sufficient to fully express my feels involving Hordak. But, maybe the best representative moment is with the crying i do every damn time I see his face looking up at Prime just after he glimmer and catra were beamed up...because ive seen that face in the mirror. I HAVE MADE THAT FACE. That same. Goddamn. Face. I may not have gotten a jab to the back of the neck directly from the person I made it at...but they often seemed to silently goad me to harm myself in an attempt to jolt my brain out of getting stuck in re-looping through what theyd just done/said to me. Likewise, much of his interactions with Entrapta are very...very weirdly familiar in feeling, but in a good way. Watching the stuff with Hordak hurts because fuck me if it isnt frequently like watching myself back in 2008ish to 2013, which was the duration of the worst parts of that particular circle of hell i parked my ass in. So...that makes sense. Hes so well written in those moments, it occasionally gave me PTSD flashbacks (still does a little, but now im prepared and braced for it and can shrug it back off....thanks, lifetime of therapy and years of studying abnormal psychology! Still totally not an expert, just very passionate...just, as a disclaimer).  Entrapta though...Entrapta is a different story. Mostly, I see Entrapta and in her free expressions of delight and joy and her bouncy enthusiasm I am reminded of a younger, less discouraged me in some ways, and in others, a “me” I could have been, but...well, extremely early-onset anxiety and depression made me insanely self-conscious super-super early on...not that i was great at hiding or...i guess the term people seem comfy with is “masking”? Which was a huge problem, or so it was in the 80s when far less was understood of such things. Id do so for a bit and then would forget to, in a way (because id forget long enough to go and trust again reflexively) and would get badly bullied and would squish everything down until id feel a crumb of safety again, and then almost instantly ADHD would pop that mask right the rest of the way off aaand it would start all over again. Ad nauseam until my teen years, where the depression sort of “fixed” that, and made it much easier to destroy my desire to share much of myself freely at all, save for with one or two people, and to a less deep extent a broader circle of nerd friends. Course, then i hit 30 and ran out of the majority of fucks I used to give. Or I became so damaged and salted with anger that parts of me dont grow any fucks anymore? Either way, plowshares to swords, WHEEEE!) And, maybe thats where this time while watching, I started to really think back to all that, and to how i see Entrapta treated by the other princesses, or really just in general except by Hordak...and why it burns my biscuits so badly. Every time I see someone roll their eyes at Entrapta’s beautiful unbridled enthusiasm or try to make it seem distasteful or at least weird and unwanted and uncomfortable for them but then dont even bother to try coming to terms with why they feel that way... or how they seem to feel free to grab and manhandle her without her consent, or the way they try to lessen her contributions because shes non-normative? Like its the fucking least she can do to make up for being weird in their space (...okay, that might just be the anger kicking in..but i dont feel like its an entirely innacurate assessment, is it?)  All of that...seeing it inflicted upon someone, It feels like someones punched me right in the damn sternum, but because its a hurt that im so desensitized to, it seems to have a much different effect than the sharp, violent crushing pain that i feel when I relate to Hordak a little too well for comfort. Again, i could go on, but its nothing more eloquent people on here havent already spoken volumes on. And my first gut reaction is always “I dont understand! why is that their reaction to her?! it doesnt seem logical at all, i dont seem to be able to parse it correctly, how is this acceptable? I HOPE SHE IMMOLATES YOU ALL.”. Which...I suppose isnt entirely usual for me (the silent wishing that people be immolated, I mean...i blame my past years of working in retail. And devouring too much Warhammer 40k contentl).  (oh gods...and this is going to be the most clusterfucky part cause i can feel my meds kicking in and thats gonna be hard to keep coherence on but i gotta get this all out of my head or ill forget it or get too scared of you fucking BRILLIANT insightful smart people on here and then ill continue to live scared and regretful that i never said..anything, and just sat here like “noticeme, entrapdak sempais!”  Ehhn...which is to say, if this is a garbage dump from here down, dont worry, when i wake up ill fix it...but hopefully itll at least make a tiny bit of sense ) But I realized something...something I hadnt ever rememberd much about due to the shitty neuronormative (apology if thats wrong term) behaviors continuing over years and years but in less and less directly aggressive ways as i grew older and was more prone to losing my shit in , (and likely because I got excessively lucky and managed through...uhhh...agonizing determination? Sheer stubbornness? Alleviatory rebalancing of universal karma? fuck if i know --to  curate a surprisingly supportive circle of other castoffs and misanthropes.) That was exactly how people used to treat me.  OKAY THISLL BE EDITED LATER to add in the rest of what i was gonna say...im...too full of Ambien sleep meds and damn write it anymore...and im aing trouble separating realigty and dream...an i k apawing at the kybord...not safe Lov yous for reading this far. Il fix it later, swears.