#we spent a big portion of our formative years with eachother and then our families decided that just was not important at all and
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#I wonder if people I knew in the past think about me as much as I think about them#I hope they’re all doing ok#I know where all totally different people than we were 6 or 7 years ago and it wouldn’t make sense to reconnect but I miss them#i miss the time we spent together#I want to know how much they think of me. I want to know if I ever meant anything to them. if they ever valued our friendship or if they jus#just didn’t have anything else better to do than hang out with the kid next door#they were the only friends I had#without them I would have never known what is was like to be not lonely#I would be a totally different person if I didn’t have them#we spent a big portion of our formative years with eachother and then our families decided that just was not important at all and#and moved us all away from eachother#that friend group was just as much family as we were with our biological family and our parents decided it was perfectly fine to rip us apar#rip us apart and move us all miles away from eachother and put us all in different schools#erased every bit of our found family and completely started us over for no reason#but I’m thankful I got to have them at all. I’m thankful I got to experience what a family is supposed to be like with them.#family is supposed to be close. family is supposed to be comfortable with eachother.#I had never felt like that with any of my biological family as a kid but I felt like that with my friends and their families#my family was always so cold and distant and never really talked about problems never tried to fix them just brush them under the rug#we didn’t bond we didn’t really spent time together like a family is supposed to do we barely knew/know eachother#and these kids around the neighborhood showed me what a family is supposed to be like. close and comfortable and bonded.#I’ve been longing for that connection again ever since we got separated. my real family thinks I’m too emotional or too touchy feely#I want to feel connected again#and they don’t even know what I’m talking about#part of me is mad because they refuse to accept the reality that we are barely a family at all#and part of me feels bad for them cause they don’t know what it’s like to have a real family and actually be loved and to love someone#they don’t know what it is to have a bond or be connected with another human being and that’s extremely sad#and I don’t want it to be like that anymore#but I don’t know how to fix it#and I don’t know how to find a new family because my last found family found me first#so I don’t know what to do
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