#we have this constraint of language and society and perspective etc wehn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

3k626ekful7ozxujar43keiw236in2h · 7 years

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anyways I kinda wish i was at least a little scared of death not in an edgy way i just wanna ether have some value to life that the prospect of the end is daunting or have enough hatred that i just off myself but im so apathetic im just floating through life like why

#what the point #i dunno cus i dont care but kinda care that i dont care #its kinda comforting too idk the way i used to see it was #like my kinda nihilistic perspective of the world is so innate in me i just feel that way yknow #and i used to think its kinda chill like lifes just life nbd like it doesnt make things meaningless and the lack of fundamental truth or #ykno the just.....constructed ideas we have of the universe space time reality #maybe it doesnt make sense maybe making sense doesnt make sense like i dont know how to explain bc i dont feel this way anymore #but it never ever took away from my value in life and my drive and passions #like at the same time i wouldnt consider myself atheist I think the universe and life...existence whatever #its complex i suppose maybe not the right word but #we have this constraint of language and society and perspective etc wehn #it comes to understanding the nature of everything and i think its just not all so literal and set in stone #v hard to explain what i mean right i feel im giving the wrong idea but hey I've never been good with words #anyways ummmm what am i saying #yeah I still you know theres value in this and connection to other humans is beautiful it really is #and ppl say emotions and intuition and whatever maybe people say its just neurotransmitters and genetics for like yknow survival #and i just think #and?#its a way to view it i guess but why does it detract from the like? impact? beauty?? idk what word to use #its funny how obsessed we are with categorising stuff and understanding stuff as compelte structures adhering to laws #of like nature yknow #and yet we pose that as being smething to belittle or detract from the power of emotions and the mind #hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm #the unknown or incomprehensible is so admired and feared #has so much power over us #we're in a power struggle with the universe and god basically lmao #i c a n t e x p laiiiiiannn and i jsut go on useless tangents and i have no concrete beliefs bc anything is plausible and #im just a dumb lil girl with not much going on like lmfao why my third eye bout to oopen to the truth #fundamental truth is overrated

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