Hey guys so I watched ManlyBadassHero play an indie horror gay called Beary The Hatchet. Might be a little fixated on this one. (The second I started getting into it I started drawing this for several hours straight and now my hand hurts like hell.

Genuinely in love with kirvia’s use of color theory

Jung, mysticism and psychopomp signature.

Sept 28, 2017

chiron and carl jung

and the zodiac signs

taurus has to ascend. what does that even mean, right?

as i sat with this, i imagined somehow seeing a taurus - bull - rise up into the air and go up the heavens. I’m clueless.

so i sat with this some more and thought about the introvert, as she seems to be in need of the most help here.

there always comes a time when i have these breathing episodes and everything runs amok.

for example:

ok, how bad is this?

how bad will this be?

and then i have to sit with it and see if i reach a point where it will just stop or carry on for a bit longer. this morning’s episode was awful (i still blame the seroquel). there are many tricks that i will try - reasoning my way through it, sounds, rescue remedy, coffee, water, contemplation, whatever … but then ill even try talking to myself but out loud, pretending someone is there with me.

focus has been a BIG theme here … but now I’m realizing that its actually human connection.

so ill talk out loud and see if that works.

but this morning was difficult - it changed a lot but was also more stubborn until i started to realize just how bad this sheer terror is that i have around death.

i contemplated a couple of times whether or not i wanted to call 9/11 but that proved to be problematic for a few reasons - one namely, i was home alone and was stuck upstairs so i couldn’t really go all the way down stairs and then upstairs and then change my clothes, find my shoes, make sure the dogs were okay, etc.

but in my mind, it was clear to me that i just wanted someone around and sadly, other than my mom, EMS workers are my only shot. 

how difficult is it to heal from all of this … on my own?

narcissistic abuse … emotional deficits all over the place … sheer terror … profound rejection 

and yet no one to look to in the eye.

no one to “pull you out of it” when you need it the most. 

so it could be that the introvert would have gotten hurt at any time because in the end, she’s the traumatized one. and now in order to get taurus to ascend, i have to find her and tell her it’s okay … but ask me if i believe that it will be?

theres a chakra component here though and as i started to type this, i felt the shift in my lower chakras rise. i saw a red/pink light in the distance.

i have lost the passion for life and living. because my life was taken from me. all of it. blindsided and then burned. you wake up and its ALL gone because YOU understand the gravity of the disaster that you will now have to face, its a sense of knowing. 

the people around me are tired to me.

i was in love with something before. it wasn’t a man but it was … the air. the moon. the sun. and the stars. 

isn’t it great? she thought. 

and now the world around HER this time, not God … has grown dark. 

its take a great amount of effort to get out of the house.

because i generally don’t care.

whats in it for me?

so i drifted off to the left, to look around and think.

i realized the contemplative aspect of me has also severely suffered. another I in NFP.

but it was then that i realized who she was and we reconnected.

morissey’s - how soon is now? ran through my head.

then out of the corner of my eye, i could see my phone lighting up but it wasn’t a notification - it was red, orange and yellow - and i heard “its a bird” and by the flames that encompassed this image, i could tell it was the phoenix. i smiled.

my left arm said “i want my life back”

and was happy for about a few seconds but then stopped because … life.

the magic doesn’t uplift me anymore.

i want to be concrete for a time and see that life can be mine again. but i feel like i am owed something … from someone and yet all avenues are shut.

chiron told me i had a job to do.

isn’t that always the case?

even if i found $50,000 and i moved out … my health is still bad. the nebulizer is the bane of my existence.

i have gone through so many phases where i THINK I’m going to ween myself off of it and then there’s a kick back … of something i don’t understand … but last time, i blame the sleep study. and again, even as smart as i am and as intuitive as i am … with my history, someone should have stepped in and said “no way … lets talk this out instead because you matter”.

everything comes … after the fact.

even the help.

—————

things worth mentioning bc it gets so sticky throughout the day - i have been having upper back pain and have had to lay on the floor and hearing some pops around my neck but the pain is around c4. i suspect the seroquel relaxed things TOO much and through this nerve into a mess. laying down doesn’t help but sleeping in the chair is causing numbness and tingling in my hands again. I’m getting pain in my infraspinatus - both sides. this can be the only thing that i can think of that causes weird and sudden attacks, randomly.

the episodes take forever to resolve. and the pain at SI9 gets worse when i have these episodes ... very local and sharp pain.

something else to note, i don’t know the stages in which the healing happens ... with the vertebrae ... passions and love ... C4 ... insane heartbreak and emotional neglect and lack of emotional support.

and then things calm down, after i get so angry because of the physical damage/repair thats STILL happening ... and you realize just how  many layers you have to build UP and not work through ... to get to the emotional body ... and where intuition comes from as you’re doing acupuncture on a client and you see a blue/purple small round light appear on your left pointer finger and you hear “john lennon” is your intuitive guider of principles long forgotten like “love is all you need” because love makes you feel like you can overcome ANY of your demons. Victor said that when we were talking last year, that he felt more stable.

——

hindsight is 20-20 right?

Elizabeth Thorson told me that unless i get grounded, I’m not going to know what work I’ve done will stick.

That was …. about 8 months ago and THIS is how long its taking me … after her esteemed shamans all failed.

“love is all you need”

———————-

so at the end of the day, this has not been an uplifting journey. and i have a new definition of “enlightenment”.

but I just did a search online for remedies for herniated discs and came across st johns wort oil and elderberry.

i had been told by “myself” that i didn’t need the elderberry anymore.

funny enough, muscle pain and tension has been an issue ever since … and thats exactly what one website said it helps with. 

pisces sabotage. 

and where has the help from the other dimensions been for this?

and whats a firefly? and why was it getting in my way today?

this is all going to end up wrapping up and i have no say in anything. it has to happen and i don’t want to stay like this but there is no book or teacher that i have here on earth to reassure me that things are indeed winding down.

my entire life has been trauma. and many things happen suddenly. my death happened suddenly and has been MORE trauma.

I’m running into problems talking to some clients about things like … their grief bc instinctually, i pull from experience and can only be as “fake” honest as i can be, knowing they’re not going through what I’m going through. 

but when the extra energy and interference is gone, what work is left for me to do? how quiet will life be? will it be a rough transition? and how much longer will i be alone? my mouth keeps saying … as if being fed words from the left … but think of how fruitful your life is going to be! and i go … prove it.

——

and as i try to just sit with what i just wrote, i also sit with one of my other selves who seems to be championing me … trying to tell me that she’s going to help me take melatonin tomorrow … and if she’s not here, to take it at 9pm.

THIS alone triggers my biggest fear but i should be allowed to …. SIT.

my eyes go to the keyboard … “christine’s biggest fear is coming up! meows!”

and now i have that on my mind … unless i just keep typing. 

but is the electricity too much for me today?

FUCK.

spiritual awakening or spirit murder? this journey has been horrible. 

————

lets talk. 

so you’re all full of shit.

I’ve been astral traveling day in and day out to heal … myself.

taoist astral gods of healing. 

i can call on whomever i need in a pinch.

but i “step outside” of myself to try and gain a different perspective right?

but she sees things i cannot.

i just wish there was more information because then i would have been more willing … and just allowed it to happen with an understanding. 

theres other things going on that i am “feeling” out … and i suspect MY spirits are the ones swirling around, swiping shit away. 

i started to become more and more suspicious of “the spirits reside within” … until you derail in the most horrifying way possible and they have to step in and do the work.

“we want our girl back!!!”   - said to Petra who didn’t spend any time in exploring this with me. i dissociated but i didn’t black out. i heard the whole thing. she just watched …. and probably thought “ohhhh a case study … how freudian”

so who’s in my eyes?

I’ve already suspected a few things here … but i get the shen, liver, gall bladder and the bladder and the eyes. 

i get that the shen scatter with trauma but something is a-miss.

——

earlier today, twice at least, i thought of arielle and her death. she died in her sleep. and i had been talking to a client about this tonight and said that we all have these experiences, day in and day out and while its not easy (she was struggling with losing her friend recently), its better to allow yourself the time to process it. i had shared with her the complications of dealing with my own death and coma, along with dealing and processing arielle’s. she died in her sleep and i fear dying in my sleep … and its two-fold because i now have a coma to contend with. its hard to figure this one out as its a lot of imagery more so than words attached to a feeling … and this could be the curse of an empath.

she was so young. when she initially came through, whether it was her or not, i was feeling something different towards her than others … i was shut down a bit and well, on some level, feeling at one with her. 

“hey - hows it going - this shit is nuts right?”

“I’m sorry you’re dead, arielle.”

you’re DEAD.

Q+A: Swedish Death Candy

So, you’ve just announced that your second album ‘Are You Nervous?’ will be released on the 27th September via Hassle Records - congratulations! We’re very excited to hear it. Can you tell us a little about the artwork and title of the record? Cheers! Sure… The title actually comes from the lyrics for the single, Modern Child. Jiwoon’s suggestion, it seemed apt considering the political sh*t-show we’re all witnessing currently in the UK. Not to mention concerns about climate change etc. But, I figured it didn’t have to be a completely negative message. We’re also living in a pretty exciting time socially and technologically. We’ve come a long way recently in terms of equality… This years London LGBT+ pride was the biggest it’s ever been, for example. UK music media seems to be a lot more diverse culturally with more female representation. I’m not saying it’s perfect, but it seems that the youth of in the UK are steering things in the right direction as far as that’s concerned. Oh yeah, and we have robots and AIs etc... Sh*t’s about to get real weird. The artwork was designed by a London artist called Jack Crossing. 

While we’re on the topic of names, how did the name Swedish Death Candy come about? I ask myself that question all the time mate haha.

I love the dystopian idea behind the lead single ‘Modern Child’ which follows the story of a child in the future born to robot parents - is this a concept that flows throughout the entirety of the record? I wouldn’t say it’s a reoccurring concept, no. It’s a metaphor for the internet having more influence on kids than their parents. 

How do you think this new record compares to your self-titled debut? Do you think it’s a step up musically for you? Yeah it’s a completely different world. As much as I like the first record, it’s a jam… It captures what we do live. “Are You Nervous” goes much deeper. 

What do you have in the works surrounding the new album? I know you’ve just announced a bunch of European tour dates and festivals from July through to October followed by a huge UK tour in November, but any other surprises that we should keep our eyes peeled for over the coming months? Yes.

Speaking of your UK tour, you’re playing your largest hometown show ever at London’s MOTH club which is massive news! How did it feel when you booked that venue and what are you anticipating the night to be like? It’s our hometown, it’ll be mad as always. We’re pretty excited (and “nervous” lol) to play the new tunes, there’s a lot more going on sonically so it’s gonna be a challenge, we’ll have to step up our game. MOTH club’s cool, we’re in there quite a lot as punters. 

Although I’ve yet to see it, I’ve heard a lot about your chaotic live sets. Knowing that a couple of you started out in hardcore/punk bands, do you think that could be partly behind your on-stage energy? Better come along to MOTH then. Yeah for sure. Jiwoon still performs like he’s in a hardcore band haha. We actually have a joke about Jiwoon needing the most space on stage otherwise you might get a stray headstock to the face. 

With a sound so unique, I’m interested in what your recording process is like. Do you come into the studio with solid ideas determined to work with or is it more of a freeflowing effort that develops as you play together? It’s different for each record/track. There’s always a lot of room for creativity in the studio. Some of the tracks had us all recording different parts in different rooms simultaneously… We had no idea how the overall thing was gonna sound. It can be a pretty funny process weening out the actual usable ideas. 

What are some more unexpected influences you pull into your music? To be honest, I actually don’t listen to a lot of rock music these days so probably quite a lot of unexpected influences. Frank and I are pretty big into rap music. I’d say this had an influence on the way the tracks are mixed… The fat rhythm section sound etc. There’s also a lot more electronic influence on this record than the first. 1 or two tracks are predominantly synth based. 

Lastly, what are you hoping people will take away from the new record? I hope it moves them one way or another… Be it physically or emotionally. 

Quick Fire:

The one song I wish I wrote is... Strawberry Fields Forever.

Three things I can’t live without are... Water, oxygen, food. 

Phones out, or phones away if you're watching a band live... Don’t care… Enjoy the gig however you want, I’m not some sort of entertainment policeman. 

Three adjectives that describe my life are... Pass.

If I held a world record it would be for... 100m sprint… Need that Nike sponsorship.

My first memory of loving music is... Oasis in my dad’s car.

The song of mine that I am the proudest of is… Probably So Long… 

My favourite venue I've ever played is… Arena Wien in Vienna. 

The ideal environment for me to create music in is… At home when I can’t sleep.

If I could have any two bands open for me they would be…  The Cramps and Kanye.

Disclaimer: all answers by Louis Perry

Follow Swedish Death Candy on Social Media!

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Interview by Scarlett Dellow, photo by Martyna Wisneiwska

Thrashed, Lost, and Found

Day 7 hurt as much as every day has. It still started out with a forceful morning workout, my cousin has asked me a couple of times if I’d go with her to her gym in the afternoon but working out is something I have to do alone. I know she can do her routine and I can do mine but even the commute needs to be a separate thing. I was dragged to church, even though it’s Catholic I went and listened to what the priest had to say. I kept getting lost in thought and spent time admiring the architectural brilliance of the church. I wanted to go out by myself, I thought it’s time to shave the beard and needed razors (maybe it was just the only excuse I had). I took the bus and we were robbed, even though I was scared I was still aware of how dangerous the state has become thanks to increasing foreign migration. I don’t mean to sound xenophobic and I’m not even blaming the South American migrants, I’m blaming the people that come from other states to those that had stable security in their endless turf wars or those from the capital that have become so wanted by their local enforcement agencies to flee and do what they’re doing here. Anyhow, this short guy in his mid 20′s comes into the bus and asks to hold on a moment before paying. The bus starts moving at this point because the buses are in a hurry. It’s not too packed which is great for my anxiety and I’m looking out the window because I’m a melancholic fuck that needs serotonin and sunlight helps with that. I see some people in front of me shuffle suddenly and it made me startle and grasp the situation... hey we’re getting robbed. I didn’t notice the guy in the back with the backpack collecting money, phones and jewelry until it was my turn. As confident I am of my self-defense abilities, I’m no match for a guy with a gun. My anxiety manifested in a form of angry annoyance instead of fear. I gave them my broken iphone (which thankfully I only took the spare one that I use as an ipod but also has whatsapp installed and all of my contacts... it’s too long a story to explain now), my wallet with an estimated equivalent of $10 dollars and my wired headphones. I could tell that backpack guy was somewhat disappointed in everything they gathered but what do you expect on a Sunday afternoon in a half empty bus that’s going AWAY from the capital. I applaud your efforts, you sad elementary school dropout but thieving doesn’t give participation trophies or a pat on the back (unless you’re a prison bitch, then I guess it’s more than pats on the back). They quickly pointed the gun at the driver and made him pull over by an empty lot, my mind went to “we’re getting executed” which made me angrier. The one that gets to kill me is ME, that much has always been decided and I don’t even mean that in a suicidal way. If I die because of a mistake I made or an action I knowingly took that sent me to my demise, I’d be okay with that. My point is, they ran away and I wanted to go after them but getting shot is not in my to do list. The bus driver had radioed someone to call the police, they came in what felt like 10 minutes-ish and a forever for their police reports. I told them everything I saw, I gave them all my necessary information and details of the items that were stolen. I didn’t see much point in cooperating since the police are famous for being useless in this country and the four that arrived reeked of incompetence and Sunday laziness. I walked back home after that, it was a 30 minute walk... always has been. I realized I took 2 and a half hours between all of that when I got home. I told my mother I went for a walk and got distracted, went to my room and that’s when everything started sinking in. I grew up in a dangerous neighborhood no matter where I lived, having a gun pointed at was something that’s never going to stop being terrifying but the impact lessens over time. After some time of empty staring, I got the phone my father sent a year ago and activated that one, it has less memory and all I really need is music but it’s the thought that counts. I saw a couple of messages from you asking if I’m there and looks like you wanted to talk. I told you I got robbed, you didn’t believe me but this isn’t one of those things to lie about. There’s nothing impressive about getting robbed at gunpoint. My anxiety didn’t go off the rails despite the lack of Xanax in my system, it was a strange feeling and did not know how to rationalize it. I tried to pass it off as being okay, talking to you makes everything easier. You told me you’re redoing the house and talking about your self-worth. Telling me to tell my therapist how strong you are and how beautiful you are and how you’ve shouldered everything for the past year. How fucking dare you, of course I have but I’ve also talked about how controlling you’ve been and the thing I don’t want to do is go from patient to psychologist trying to compare results based on notes and observations about you. Therapy is where I make me about me, it’s step one on a healthy dose of selfishness. So we talked about how you’re Marie Kondoing and suggested I do the same, I told you that I’m not in a head space where assessing joy is a good idea. We talked about how we both need the man I used to be, how tired you are and the things you deserve. I mentioned that my stepdad finally got himself together and I was very surprised, these past 10 years haven’t been very kind to us and he got lazy and complacent and irresponsible. After having been dumped by my mom was when he went back to being hardworking and providing for her and my brother. He’s been incredibly supportive of whatever this thing I’m going through is. We spoke in a way that can only be described like we needed to cheer each other on, and then another “I don’t believe you got robbed” stab. As much as I would like your support yet not seeking it because I’m respecting your space, I really don’t need your doubt. I told you I was looking forward to our monthly in-person meet, which you forgot and it hurt. That was probably the most crushing moment of our whole conversation but powered through it. Sometimes I think I should just divorce you because you’re too much of a coward to ask for it because that is what you really want and I want to work on this but won’t get the chance to get there. We had a nice conversation and cut it short, sleep was calling to me. I woke up late at night and saw that you texted again, I don’t know if you were battling with loneliness again and wanted to talk to me. A part of me wants to tell you to fuck off and seek solace in the Facebook friends you arduously ignored me for but I think you’re doing that and it’s not working as well as you’d hoped. I think we’re both fighting that codependency we have for each other, leading to struggles with our own loneliness. I can’t really speak for you and can only assume. I just told you I went for my late night drink of water. We texted a little on Day 8, sent you a funny ad I got on a website while working. I’m still worried that you’re not eating well and haven’t found someone to pay to cook for you or deliver a healthy meal to you. I spent all of Day 8 hating myself out loud because I had the house to myself and trying not to text you. I also spent it playing GTA 5 and watching how Michael lost his family and is slowly getting them back in their own organically dysfunctional way while having Chicago’s “if you leave me now” playing on the radio station of the car he got in. Rockstar, you’re not fair to me right now. After so many years and changing availability, I still haven’t finished the game but it’s hitting so many sore spots for me right now. Great job, me, you’ve replaced your dependency from Xanax to video games and enjoy neither. I’ve helped my stepdad clean his car during the weekend, Hank sees me near the car and he behaves like we’re going back home. He scratches my leg, getting permission to get in but doesn’t see that it’s just to clean it and not to make a 2 hour trip back to a place we thought everyone was happy in. You sent me a philosophical quote about healing, I looked it up and thanked you for it. I went on to spend my night playing mindlessly, reading on and off about endogenous depression because I stumbled upon a paper I was reading about it in my closet here. Grad school B paper, no easy feat. I spent my night torturing myself internally. Weening off Xanax to help me sleep has not been kind, I’m down to a quarter a day again.

Day 9. I’m proud of myself for not reactivating my Facebook to stalk you since Friday-ish or Thursday. I needed one of the links I had saved and checked your posts since I was already there. Still, I need to stop. I’m getting everything out in a public way while maintaining myself anonymous and you’re getting everything out in a more “everybody, this marriage has been so shitty despite having my husband change jobs and work outside the house in order to pay for everything”. Yes you did the housewife thing and you did it great, I just needed you great and not a clean house or a highly elaborate meal but that’s what I came home to and a wife that had just enough energy to kinda eat. Your mother and my father did come to our rescue one too many times before we got married and while I started my new job. When you said you were told about Stratus, I encouraged you and said I wanted you happy but whatever floats your boat. Day 9 is just starting with sarcastic clients and a very annoyed me. If parting is such sweet sorrow, I don’t have many assets but I’m still meeting an attorney this Friday to set up a will. Just in case.

Some general information about lactose intolerance, because I’m getting tired of all the misconceptions around it.

First of all, what is lactose intolerance? Many people think of lactose intolerance as being entirely unable to process lactose. In most cases, that simply is not true(that’s usually more along the lines of a milk allergy, or the more severe cases of lactose intolerance). Lactose intolerance is simply a deficiency of the enzyme lactase in the body. Lactase is the enzyme that breaks down the sugars in milk! It breaks down lactose.

That being said, someone with a mild lactose intolerance can usually still have small portions of yogurt and cheeses, but a cup of milk might still cause a noticeable level of discomfort(slight bloating, indigestion)--often within just a half hour or so of drinking it. If someone with lactose intolerance experiences this discomfort, a way to alleviate it would be to completely avoid dairy the next day or so while homeostasis works its magic. Personally, I go easy on dairy the next few days(I tend to eat small portions of dairy in general because the discomfort is common).

There are many types of lactose intolerance(and many, many, many names, I’ll stick to these): 1) Primary/Technical lactose intolerance- The body naturally produces less and less lactase as you age until you become intolerant. Happens slowly over time. 2) Secondary/Temporary lactose intolerance- The intestines experienced an infection, disease, surgery, or other illness that caused the lactose intolerance. Often this intolerance in noticeable rather immediately, and the intolerance can even be reversed with proper treatment of the underlying cause/disease. 3) Congenital lactose intolerance- The body is born without proper functioning lactase or lactase production. The first two types of intolerance are rather common, this one is much rarer, many people have never even heard of it.

Not everyone with lactose intolerance completely avoids dairy. Since lactose intolerance is simply a deficiency of lactase, it’s usually okay to still have a little(especially with dairy such as yogurt or cheese rather than milk—since yogurts and cheese are much less hard to digest even with less lactase than milk). Some people’s bodies stop producing lactase entirely, but many still produce a bit of lactase, just in much smaller amounts. 

There’s also lactase supplements(like Lactaid), which work to help your body breakdown the lactose that it has trouble dealing with on its own. Not everyone takes the supplements, and often the people who do tend to have worse cases of lactose intolerance anyway so will still mainly avoid dairy. In many cases, having just a bit of dairy in the diet can help build up a bit of tolerance(note that lactose intolerance—aside from secondary lactose intolerance, as of yet cannot be cured, this really doesn’t help too much, and can be counterproductive if you’re on the more severe spectrum).

Hell, I really love ‘Mr. Heisenburg’s article he wrote on the subject himself(link in quote), so I’ll just share with you what type of stuff he’ll eat as he wrote himself.

“I am a technically lactose intolerant person. My body does not produce the lactase enzyme, confirmed by genetic testing (23andme). But guess what? I consume the hell out of dairy. Cheese and yogurt are daily staples. But that’s not all. Sometimes, I go ahead and do something crazy: I drink a glass of milk. If it’s a small one, not much happens at all. If it’s a tall one? Maybe I shouldn’t be too social that evening. And that’s exactly what technical lactose intolerance is: it’s just a limitation on how much lactose you can consume before things get less than comfy.”

For me, I do small substitutions. I like protein, don’t have much money, can handle a bit of lactose, love the taste, and am slightly addicted(when we do manage to digest dairy, we’re digesting the protein casein which is literally broken down by our bodies into morphine which has an opiate effect), so I continue having small portions. I really can’t drink regular milk by itself without feeling sick, but I’ll have the more fermented dairies. 

I’ll have parmesan cheese with pasta, mix yogurt with fruit, make a smoothie with water instead of milk, use almond milk for cereal as well as scrambled eggs and baked dishes, have water based ice cream rather than regular if I have it at all. Usually I try to keep to less than a serving or two of dairy(non milk) a day, but I’ll make the exception for socializing, holidays, or if I haven’t had any dairy for a couple days. If I feel unwell, or know I felt discomfort the other day, I’ll refuse dairy even if it’s a holiday or special occasion.

Problem is, I eat dairy sometimes, and other people can’t really tell if I feel unwell because I ate dairy or not(notice how I said ‘other’ people, I know because I’ve experienced it so often). So people will say I’m not lactose intolerant. People with lactose intolerance are usually very aware of their limitations, so don’t say they’re lying if they still eat a bit of dairy. I also ate a lot of dairy growing up, I loved dairy! Funny thing is that you can grow into being lactose intolerant! That’s a real thing!

In fact more than half of the population become lactose intolerant some time over the course of their life times. Many of the cases are much more moderate of even undiagnosed simply because all it is is a lactase deficiency. Since you can usually still eat some lactose without getting the more intense symptoms, I’d assume many simply chalk it up to getting older. People who don’t get lactose intolerance over their life time actually have a thing called lactase persistence, since that’s rarer than lactose intolerance!

The human body naturally produces the most lactase as a baby, since the body is getting most its nutrients from breastfeeding. As the baby grows, the lactase production decreases as the child starts to eat and gather nutrition for their self or from other sources(cereals, breads, salads, weening off of breast milk and more into a varied diet). Many people as they grow become intolerant entirely, some just lose a bit of enzyme production, while in the most rare cases they continue making more than enough lactase to continue digesting lactose their entire lives.

Aside from the most natural deficiency that comes with age, it’s exceedingly common for lactose intolerance to develop after intestinal infections or diseases(of which I’ve had many infections and have a non curable disease, unfortunately).

Common symptoms of having more dairy than you can digest are indigestion, bloating, gas, diarrhea, nausea, and just gut discomfort and pains in general(if you’re unable to digest dairy, it can sit and ferment uncomfortably in your intestines for a while). Symptoms usually occur between 30 minutes to 2 hours after consumption, but oftentimes can last for a long time, or in worse cases kick in almost immediately.

TL;DR: There are tons of lactose intolerant people with varying levels of intolerance, please don’t erase their lactose intolerance just because you personally don’t see them as having it. This is one of those chronic illnesses that isn’t so blatantly obvious, but is incredibly widespread(much more common than you think, it effects more than 1 out of every 2 people).

Sorry this got so long, it’s been something that’s been building up for a while. Thanks so much for reading!

Sources: x, x, x, x, x, and my own experiences.