happy i'm alive at the same time as you!!

MAN i sent u a fucking ESSAY and i accidentally cut the first paragraph bc im so goddamn tired. To sum up: im 28 and depressed and moving and also trying to make art as a living despite not being Super Good at it and its forcing me to Relearn things when my style has been stagnant since 2013. I know u said u wanted to try getting back into drawing so im sharing things that took me out of my OWN block and maybe it can help u ???

Lookin at sketchbooks and preparing my comp for drawing feels daunting bc it FEELS like i have a responsibility to make whats i draw there look good. It HAS to be perfect; it has to make up for the fact that im going to show people. So have u considered drawing on temporary mediums like sticky notes? Theyre tiny and small and i can doodle and experiment as much as i want bc i can just crumple and chuck out the things i didnt like. And i can take pictures and save the ones i DO like. I have HUNDREDS of stickies that ive tossed in the garbage that were just Circles for drawing a head that didnt come out right. The impermanence of sticky notes lets me flail around w a workspace smaller than my hand and try to make Detailed Eyes or Cute Chibis and then toss em out later.

Also like, its very hard to just say Go Make Friends but like on god having one or two ppl who look at ur shit and hype u up (and vice versa) helps w ur confidence its so unreal. I have tons of art i havent posted ANYWHERE but u know who saw it? My discord friends who comment w 😭💖 and 🥺✨✨ and let me bounce ideas off of them, even if were in completely diff fandoms. Confidence, lack thereof, and the fear of no recognition makes for a terrifying combination thats sucks out the will and energy of all kinds of artists, and if u rlly want to get back to ENJOYING making art, u unfortunately have to address ur relationship w art and how it affects u, and then begin trying to reverse damage thats been done yknow? Letting myself be a beginner in things again has taken (SOME OF) the stress of being perfect; sharing art w friends builds my confidence; even just sharing aus and ideas and concepts lets me be creative when drawing just doesnt seem feasible. Just some food for thought maybe; i wish i had more advice and options to give u 😔

This is actually excellent advice? I think Im gonna go looking for post its. Part of the stress of this for me is also that I feel super guilty drawing something shitty on good paper, and I think postit notes would help with that since they're cheap!!

I do try to share some of the stuff I make on discord for friends to look at but I still struggle a bit with it. I'm gonna try to trust my friends more too and let them help rebuild my confidence

I'm gonna try not to beat myself up for being a beginner again and try to give myself the chance of enjoying art again!!!

Thank you SO MUCH anon!