the whole thing about seiji with the unrequited pining for cats motif is so compelling for so many reasons because it's a metaphor for multiple dynamics in his life (to me!) but one that i've been thinking about more and more is how it could have been extrapolated to his early relationship with yokai as well
(yes it's a stretch but stay with me a moment!)
it's really interesting - and extraordinarily depressing :)))) - to think of what this relationship could have been outside of his identity as a matoba and the predetermined role of not just having to be any old exorcist but the head of the most feared and loathsome ones to yokai, not to mention the legacy of all the broken promises and the bloodshed that came with it.
in special ch 17, we see that little pot yokai and how he is so possessive and protective about it. i had to go back and doublecheck the text because some days i still feel like i made some of it up in my head.
he says, "if there was a yokai who'd make a contract with me, i'd be sure to treat it very well."
and i struggle to read it as sarcastic or facetious though maybe i did once. since natori is our pov character in this chapter and assumes seiji has ulterior motives about everything, it's extremely easy as the reader to buy into this as well. going back to it now, it reads as earnest. it reads like, even then, he knows it is a fantasy at best. there won't be respectable yokai who will voluntarily make contracts with him and, at this point, it's by no fault of his own.
and then: "it listens to what i say, a little bit." (he's making the effort) and "don't tell nanase about this." (it's his little secret.)
interestingly, this is the same chapter where natori makes a contract with urihime with relative ease even if its against urihime's initial wishes. for all the power and legacy that natori lacks in his corner, he still has this one ability and privilege that comes to him rather effortlessly. it stands out even more starkly in contrast with seiji's longing for what he can't have despite his best efforts and intentions.
tl;dr: if there was a cat that came home with him, i'm sure he'd also treat it very well :(
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soft ground, claiming moon
fear the fall and where we’ll land
@natsumeweek 2023
day 3; kindness/cruelty
read on ao3
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For a moment, no one moves or speaks or even breathes. Takashi himself is frozen, mind completely blank. This is so far from anything he could have expected that his body doesn’t know how to react.
Then Taki blurts, “Is that Natori Shuuichi?”
“Wait, the guy from that dumb show Satchan and Sasada argue about every week?” Kitamoto says dubiously.
Their resident witch twitches, offended, and Nishimura says, “It’s not dumb, it’s really good! There’s nuance! You just have to give it a chance.”
Unmoved, Kitamoto says, “Okay but isn’t he, like, famous? What’s he doing here?”
Their voices are a static wash of sound. Takashi doesn’t hear a word. He’s hyper-focused on the man in front of them. Natori’s expression is still smiling, but that’s his T.V. smile. There’s no warmth to it at all. Takashi can tell the difference.
Maybe Tanuma can, too, or maybe he just knows how to read Takashi better than most people, because Tanuma shifts to the side until he has a shoulder in front of Nishimura. He dips a hand into the pocket he keeps his prayer beads in. There’s not much he can do against another human person, but if it came down to it, he would be able to guard against the shiki at least.
Here. In his home. While his father is away and his friend is in pain.
Takashi realizes that his heart is racing, but not with fear. It feels more like anger.
How dare Natori show up here? How dare he look at Nishimura like he’s some sort of monster? He doesn’t even know the whole story. He didn’t see Nishimura in that hospital room.
“Um,” Nishimura says, overly loud, not passing for normal at all, “um, not to sound lame or anything, but can I get your autograph?”
He’s excited. Just for a second, the moon is the last thing on his mind.
But the shiki react to his question like Nishimura just threw a knife at them, in Sasago and Urihime’s case, baring their teeth and reaching for their weapons. Hiiragi tilts her head an inch to the left and otherwise doesn’t move at all.
They’re visible here, where Taki has laid dozens of circles in the earth. Nishimura flinches back and the shining expression on his face goes shuttered, a window closing against the cold.
At the same time Tanuma pulls the rosary out of his pocket, and Taki lifts chalk dust-covered fingers, and Kitamoto yanks Nishimura a whole two steps back behind everyone else, Nyanko-sensei disappears in a thick screen of smoke.
When it clears, he towers above them all in his true form. The fluffy cloud tail of his lashes a few times, knocking a few small boughs from a nearby tree, before he settles down in a half-moon curl around his kids.
Natori’s shiki stiffen. They would fight sensei unflinchingly if they were ordered to, but they’re outclassed and they know it. Natori’s smile has tapered off but he still has that silver stake in his hand.
“Good grief,” Nyanko-sensei rumbles. “I hate fleas.”
“Sensei?” Nishimura says. He’s squished between Kitamoto and Taki and half-buried in downy white fur, looking torn between bewildered and offended. There’s a faint shadow of the wolf looming in his eyes. “Natsume, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Takashi says shortly. “Natori just likes to show up without warning. Or an invitation.”
“And his familiars are poorly trained,” Taki, who was once famously trapped on a tricky mountain ledge for two hours because her kitsune threw a tantrum when she forgot to bring them aburaage as a treat, snaps meanly.
“Don’t worry about the fleas,” sensei orders. “Go plate that cake already.”
“Sensei,” Nishimura argues, but he’s buffeted forward with a bump from Nyanko-sensei’s great head.
Kitamoto looks like he’s one more big surprise away from a meltdown, but he uses that momentum to begin dragging Nishimura the rest of the way to the temple, giving Natori a wide berth and a suspicious look. Taki goes with them, glaring over her shoulder with every step.
Tanuma looks very worried about the standoff occuring in his yard, rubbing one of the beads between his fingers anxiously.
“Should I call Misuzu?” he asks Takashi in a quiet tone. “He always has frogs nearby. There’s usually at least three in the temple somewhere.”
“No need,” Takashi replies. “Sensei and I will handle this.”
Tanuma lingers for another moment, but a glance up at Nyanko-sensei seems to convince him. He passes by Natori with a skittish sidelong look. Natori’s expression turns pained at the way Tanuma hurries out of his proximity.
When the doors of the temple have shut, Natori says very gently, “Natsume. You know I had to come.”
Takashi says, “But you didn’t.”
“You are in over your head. There is absolutely no way you could be prepared to deal with—what must be dealt with. There’s hardly any text about it anywhere.”
“And if humans don’t have the knowledge recorded, it doesn’t exist?” sensei asks sardonically. “Spare me your self-importance, exorcist. It was your kind that caused this mess in the first place.”
Normally, Takashi would play mediator between the two, try to check their frankly ridiculous egos, but he can feel his own temper fraying apart and doesn’t have the mental fortitude to spare.
He can’t remember ever being angrier than this. He can feel the spirits in Yatsuhara becoming agitated, all stirred up because of him.
“Playing the blame game is a waste of everyone’s time,” Natori says harshly. He’s disquieted by sensei’s remark; it’s obvious in the way he hustles past it. “I’m here to help, whether you believe me or not.”
“Then help,” Takashi says. He doesn’t recognize his own voice. “Don’t hunt. Throw that weapon away.” The way the silver shines in the low light is making him sick.
“I can’t do that,” Natori says. “You know I can’t do that. He’s going to turn.”
“It doesn’t mean he has to die.”
“He’s a monster. He’ll hurt you, he won’t have a choice.”
“And you think I would just stand there and let it happen?”
“I think you have a history of doing exactly that.”
It hurts because Natori says it softly.
With a deep breath, Takashi says, “If he’s a monster, so am I. You came here to kill me, too, a year ago. What stopped you then?”
He’ll regret it later because of the way Natori’s whole body seems to crumple at his words. He knows the older man regrets the nature of their first meeting, for all that he was acting on the best information he had at the time.
For now, he presses on, “You met me. You made an exception. I didn’t hurt anyone. I wouldn’t.”
Takashi presses his hands together, half in pleading, half to keep a solid grip on his cognizance, because the wilderness inside him is beckoning him ever deeper. It wants him to let go and tear asunder, the way of earthquakes and tsunamis.
But he won’t. That’s the whole point.
“Nishimura wouldn’t either,” he goes on. “He would never. If you would just meet him I know you’d understand.”
Natori doesn’t say anything right away. Dusk is upon them, the sky vivid with sunset colors. They are inching ever closer to nightfall. Soon they’ll be out of time to talk. Takashi needs him to be convinced sooner than later.
Nyanko-sensei’s tail flicks idly. He would never admit to caring about any of the humans who fill his days, but Takashi knows he has a particular fondness for the colorful, chaotic Nishimura. If it came down to protecting him, he would tear his way through Natori’s shiki with his teeth.
Takashi would prefer it not to come to that.
Suddenly, Hiiragi steps between their two parties, and puts Takashi and sensei behind her. Facing her master, she tells him, “I know that you’re kind.”
She draws back her sleeve, revealing the neat bandage wrapped carefully around her arm.
“I know that you want to be kind,” Hiiragi says.
For a handful of seconds that feel more like an hour, Natori stares at her without speaking. Then he grinds the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighs with feeling.
Hope floods Takashi’s heart, but he doesn’t relax until Natori tosses that silver stake down.
“Alright,” the exorcist says wearily. “We’ll try it your way.”
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Natsume Week Day 3: Sacrifice / Selfishness
Natori Shuuichi is an actor of many years and an exorcist for longer. He’s almost thirty after all. He's running on fumes and he doesn't stop until he has to. Natori-centric. 500w.
He closes the door behind him and stands in his entrance way. He breathes. His phone lights up in his hand, ringing.
“Hello? Ah, yes. I just got home.”
His manager had called to check on him. Filming had wrapped late and he had been frustrated on set. The main lead was particularly contentious with the director and belligerent toward the staff. Shuuichi needed a break but he had an extremely early call time tomorrow. A dawn shoot. He leans his head back onto the front door and lets a long sigh out.
Collecting himself, Shuuichi steps into his apartment and goes to make dinner.
He leaves his apartment at 5:03am and sees his manager already waiting in the parking garage. He gets in and is handed a thick bundle of paper.
“Script changes,” his manager has an early morning rasp.
“Thank you, I’ll read through it well.”
Shuuichi barely manages to kiss a light sleep before his door is opened and a blast of cold air is let in. He takes his things and heads to the reading room. His manager a few steps behind him breaks off to the kitchen.
There’s a few people in the reading room already, he opens the door and smiles at the trio of up and coming stars. He’s playing the villain in this drama, the three in front of him consisted of the female lead, main lead, and the second male lead. The female lead smiles back at him.
“Was the trip here okay?” She asks pleasantly, the question is dwarfed by the male lead’s glare.
He places his things down next to her and takes a seat, “yes, it was very quick. Did you all come together?”
“Kamiki-san was kind and picked me up, Nagase-san was already here when we arrived!” Shuuichi smiles again and hums in appreciation. He flips open the script and gets to work.
The words swim in his brain. The director is late and the staff’s hands are worried. His make up has smudged with the poor artist’s shaking. His manager comes back from talking to the set manager.
“Car accident, today’s written off. We’re dismissed for the day,” his manager shrugs and gives him a pat on the shoulder, “I’ll take you home.”
The car ride is long, sleep won’t come to him, so he reads the script again.
He enters his apartment. The cold stillness is particularly disturbing to him today.
“Sasago.”
His shiki appears and with her a message from a local exorcist who was investigating the same youkai. She briefly explains the massive youkai, the location it had decide to take up residence, and an incident where it had almost eaten a human child. It’s not too late in the day for him to take his glasses and hat and go.
Urihime and Hiiragi are there. Hiiragi guides him to where he can draw a circle. He starts and stops and starts. He finishes the circle and sends Urihime to lure the youkai.
The youkai is sealed. Shuuichi feels every bit of steam that he had been running on disappear completely. He crumples.
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