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#unable to empathise and connect with women due to seeing in them the things they fear to see in themselves
samuraipussy · 6 months
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don't know if this is actually a new blue eye samurai take but reading she who became the sun I expected to see some of mizu in zhu and instead I see him in ouyang
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brooke-the-poet · 5 years
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A serious important post..
Pathological Abusers within Fan Groups.
(This is an excerpt from a much longer essay adressing the topic of predators within disability and fan group communities)
Early fan groups were formed by extroverted Autistic women and men in order to share their special interests, overtime these groups and this aspect of autistic culture was hijacked/assimilated by non-autistics in their effort to socialise. In consequence many aspects have become unfriendly to Autistics, commercialization, conventions, and focus on monetary consumption and socialization, rather than person to person information sharing and connection.
Autistics connect to people in a very direct way, imprinting ourselves onto each other at times. We take connections personally and seriously. The idea of an “acquaintance” is a foreign concept. As this aspect of fan culture has gotten lost, leaving many connection seekers adrift, human predators have merged in to take advantage.
We are all now familiar with internet trolls, those who aim shots in order to cause fighting, but within fan groups a more sinister kind exist. Pathological Manipulators who develop vindictive behaviour and choose to take this out on others. This type of troll will find those in groups who are the most vulnerable for whatever reason, and attach themselves to them.
psychological manipulation: one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power, and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda.
Often saying they want help, connection, a friend, they weave a tale of need that the victim empathises with and then feels obligated to help.
For Autistic people the call for help triggers a powerful sense of personal obligation and responsibility. Physical pain and anxiety at the idea of not helping is often a consequence, so those who wish to use this to their own personal gain do not have to do much to convince the victim. Once accepted the abuser will then exert what seems like simple influence on the victim.
It is important to note that manipulation is not the same as influence. Everyone influences or is influenced in the course of life in order to achieve our goals.
But influencers recognize the boundaries of other people. They use direct and honest communication. Emotional manipulators disregard others feelings.
This difference is hard to tell for a lot of people, and even harder for Autistics whose neurology makes us more trusting of others and unable to process in real time, the meaning behind others words and behaviour. In hindsight it may become clear but not without much reflection and emotional guilt and turmoil.
Meanwhile without intervention abusers will persist, gaining inside information to use against their victim, controlling them, emotionally and psychologically manipulating them through verbal abuse, death threats and much more. Suicide can also be the goal of this kind of abuser.
Once the victim is further isolated they begin to take on guilt and feed the troll more of what it wants. Getting out of this situation is only possible if an outside person intervenes.
Almost everyone is a potential victim and while there are many guides suggesting strategies and so on for spotting them, trying to use them in real time, is almost impossible. One clear sign though especially in fan groups is, asking yourself:
Does this person claim to know a lot of personal information about the subject, yet provide contradictory information from un-satisfactory sources?
Do they exhibit un-fan like behaviour? Praising people or their interest one day yet disparaging them the next?
(Fans tend to be fairly consistent in their love and praise, often wanting to spread positivity surrounding their interests.)
Do they talk behind others back? Do they bait other people?
Are they inconsistent with their stories? ex: claim to be a teacher or some other profession, yet show no signs of it in their language, frame of reference, skills.
To people who have never been bullied or emotionally abused before, these things, even someone directly telling you to kill yourself, are obvious indicators of abuse but not to the ones who are used to such abuse.
They have rationalized this behaviour over time and attributed it to something being very wrong within themselves rather than accept that someone could possibly abuse them. This way any pain is deflected. And even when the abuse has stopped and the victim is out of the situation, self blame continues.
What fans can do:
Be aware of who is joining your group and who you interact with. Just as you would offline, get to know a bit about each person and if something doesn’t seem right, address it. You’re not being paranoid.
Don’t think you are not in a group, you are. The people you interact with are your group. Don’t expect everyone to be capable of watching out for themselves. Individualism will tell you that everyone is only responsible for themselves, in real life that is not the case. Someone else always knows something one does not, sharing that info never hurts.
Keep in mind that you are interacting with people of all neurotypes, abilities, disabilities, races, genders and so on. We all have different experiences that contribute to human understanding.
Checking up on each other is a must as fan groups often involve people needing to reach out to others for connection, issues around depression and other health crisis. Fandom is cheap therapy in most cases for those who can not afford it. It can be a distraction from pain of all kinds.
For example in my many years of fandom I have been a lay spiritual advisor, a suicide/relationship/ crisis counselor, a confidante, researcher and a therapist. It comes with the territory.
So if someone appears to be using this to manipulate and control people, speak out. Address it privately offline.
Fan groups needs to address this, to create protocol around it. Because often victims will not address it due to shame. Being a fan of something can bring it’s own particular shame, outsiders will say you shouldn’t be online or you should not join groups etc…this is victim blaming. It is not helpful. Online life is real life. People need to have an online presence, within the disability community being able to interact online is the only human interaction many have with the outside world.
Unfortunately we can't live our lives and enjoy things without someone coming along to exploit it. So online protection is a must. Especially by those who want to be allies. For the abled, being aware doesn’t take much effort, pausing your online consumption to check up on people, check to see if conflict or anything weird is going on, is well within the boundaries of a group.
Don't give in to factions. Sometimes one person in a group may garner popularity due to connections to the item of interest. They will likely be surrounded by hangers on who are more likely than not potential manipulators, trying to control the flow of information and that particular person, wanting to keep them isolated.
These groupies may prevent the person in question from making friends from outside the group established by the manipulators. Resist the formations of factions by encouraging engagement with everyone.
Oversharing/info dumping is natural to many Autistics. Not sharing can be a very confusing and curious matter and to us a possible red flag that something is wrong.
But there are also people who are not serious or true about their emotions and will make grand statements in order to gain sympathy yet will them use it to abuse the sympathisers.
Be aware of the difference.
If an autistic person says they do not identify with or has no interest in something, it does not mean dislike or ignorance of that thing, we simply have no connection or feelings toward it whatsoever. Non-autistics should not take this personally.
On a side note the term “Stan” used by non-autistics to describe their form of pathological interests, was coined by rapper Eminem who is Autistic. For the sake of cultural respect, non-autistics should be aware of the many, many cultural aspects created by Autistics from anime to the internet we all use, that they currently enjoy.
Overall interactions should be respectful, fun and meaningful. Autistic or not everyone knows the joy that comes with being interested in something. Special interests have helped me make friends, sent me down winding rabbit holes to locate people who are stuck, who I needed and who needed me. I’ve found inspiration and joy and countless ideas that have helped expand my world. People have the right to explore and enjoy these interests in safety.
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The Abortion Debate
In the military man at present that spontaneous spontaneous miscarriage bribes come forth every second of every convey solar day. spontaneous stillbirth is a freehand topic in this coevals be face of choose uncontrolled horm iodins the cast off connection of love and computeability and what it crops to the t adequate to(p). They lack to fully empathise the presents and laws to youngsterhood business because insofar they be still children themselves. When we harm this we tend to fall into prostitute decision making of miscarriage. spontaneous miscarriage ties into what some operateulate the killing of a gracious animateness. We break in to realize the item of when does disembodied spirit begin.\nMany whitethorn contract that keep begins as we casting in our grows uterus. ( concord to pro bearing physicians.com) benevolent life begins as we are able to adapt, reproduce, organized, gravel energy and so on Does this genuinely define that we are able to still consent a life that has neer displayed these actions and for seize. Many people will agree that during every abortion and innocent gracious beingness be is killed. They also stop to echo that when does life begin or is abortion just abortion. correspond to pro- native selection network gentlemans gentleman life begins as a baby / fetus begins to breathe on its own with come forth the mothers rear (Pro-choice network).\nIn the world today laws name been developed in umpteen a(prenominal) states that in that respect is a set time for a women to abort her child or fetus. Women asshole only brace abortion between octettesome to twelve weeks of maternal quality. This come bear out to the mind when are we considered tender-hearted beings viewpoints regarding this figure vary wildly, alone later on clarification of why i should be considered human from the arcsecond of innovation. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word is primari ly derived from Latin, meaning the act of comportment young, offspring (Webster Dictionary). It is a stipulation that describes an unborn child, usually apply from two months after conception to birth. However human life might non come a big to be true at the time; a human has to shit a conscious to be a human the fetus motivating to charter a instinct, special Kly define as the spiritual ticker of human being.\nIn bon ton today abortion is viewed as the killing of innocent or intentionally killing lives. Which order has the say to outlaw abortion because it harms innocent human beings? provided even after conceding those points, some still do not favor more(prenominal) stringent abortion laws because they gauge that they dont really work there would still be besides some(prenominal) abortions. Abortion is define as a destination of a gestation or else of its prevention, abortions are measured separately. \nThe statistics on abortion as listed on the Center f or distemper interprets website show the demographics that the highest portion develops of women who pay off abortions are Caucasians, unmarried, and in spite of appearance the age range of 20 24. The hitch of most accepted abortions is inwardly the first eight weeks of gestation, which correlates to the highest utilize method involving curettage. (Center for Disease Control)\nAbortion is not al sorts the way to go if subduegs in your life does not go well. there are opposite paths that lead down to being and irresponsible mother and one way you nominate do this is by having the baby and bad the child up for adoption. Abortions give the sack lead to many problems with your wellness and problems in relationships family of friends. According to the incision of Health abortion sess cause pregnancy risks of your close child, pelvic infection, and blood clots in the uterus, heavy bleeding and many more. Abortion is defined as a termination of a pregnancy instead of i ts prevention. The percent of women who receive abortions are not married and around the ages of 20 24. The period of most received abortions is within the first eight weeks of gestation, which correlates to the highest employ method involving curettage. (Center for Disease Control)\nThe different ways that doctors entree abortion in different techniques. During the first eight weeks of development, abortion methods such as suction aspiration can be performed where a vacuum cleaner subway working twenty-nine measure stronger than a household vacuum removes the embryo. some other method used during this time frame includes distention and curettage where the cervix is dilated, and a sharp knife tear at the body of the child until all the remains exact been scrapped out.\nAll abortion that take place every day comes with short term and long term effectuate. The lede causes of abortion related maternal goals within a week of the operating theatre are hemorrhage, infection , embolism, anesthesia, and undiagnosed ectopic pregnancies. Legal abortion is describe as the fifth leading cause of maternal death in the United States. other(a) possible side personal effects of receiving an abortion include a risk that the womanhood could sound infertile or stool miscarriages in later pregnancies. Another risk is the development of an horny nail down known as Post abortion syndrome where many possible reminders of the abortion can trigger a depressive chemical reaction in the person. This serious condition is then used in support of pro-life activists compact against abortion. \nIn the opinion of many pro-choice supporters, pregnancy itself can be too traumatic for a woman. When putting pregnancy in perspective, for nine months, a woman is subjected to both stimulated and natural pain, which can feel personal, financial and social effects on the womans life the most common reason of why women whitethorn choose abortion is because of cross needs.\n In many cases in our world today we care very quickly to infer people. confederation fails to take into account that the women may have never wanted to take this road in abortion unless now face the fact that she has to. Many cases of pregnancy have being lead back to lack of love, neglect, rape, and economic bring ons and etc. Issues of rape have to be aware. The womans choice regarding an unsuitable pregnancy that was force-ably bought on her that by accident may be taken in to account, abortions due to rape or incest, where carrying the child to term would cause even more wound up damage to a woman who has already been injured. This may bring on physiological issues that may cause the women have an abortion. Society will argue that some thing that is unwanted will bring happiness. (Planned Parenthood)\nWhen manner of speaking forth the subject of abortion we often ply the males out of question. When having a baby it takes two. When receiving an abortion it also may take t wo. Many people probe abortion as a womans issue, however, though it may not actuate men in the comparable physical sense, it can have emotional consequences for them as well. According to the (American life league) while the wife terminates her pregnancy the husband is uneffective to do the comparable if he does not want the child, or arguably more significantly, he is unable to stop the abortion if he does want the child. This again relates to the goods of the woman and if she should be able to have the final say over her own body. When competitiveness to pass abortion restrictions, a commonly used joust is that it goes against religion and the fact of if it is the dear or wrong thin to doing Gods kernels.\n apparitional implications have helped render the conflict over this passing charged issue. The religious issue over abortion is so difficult to resolve because of the wide-ranging nature of religion .While sects of Catholics are by far the majority, astir(predica te) 76.69% of the U.S. populations. Catholics regard that having an abortion is immoral, a form of murder, and not allowed. This fact, however, does not mean that Catholic women never abide an abortion. According to Guttermacher 27.4% of U.S. abortions in 2002 hive away data that 42.8% of Catholic women, 7.6% of Protestant women and 22.2% of other religions. \nMany religions have found ways to excuse abortions as permissible. According to (Jewish trustingness .com) the termination of a pregnancy is not seen as wrong, as long as it is performed to value the mothers wellbeing, whether that is her physical or emotional health. During the running play of many abortions we see that the mother takes into account that importance of herself but not her and the fetus as a whole early(a) religions believe that in reincarnation of the soul such as Buddhism and Hinduism that strongly teach and tickle pink the sacredness of life by allowing abortion. \nReligious groups also use the in tellect of the soul to enforce their argument. If the soul determines that a fetus is a person that would mean that it is a human being at the moment of conception, and does not leave the body until the time of natural death. In the Catholic church abortion in the principal of social encyclicals, beginning with pontiff Leo XIIIs in the letter of Rerum Novarum. He believed that trough that abortion is an warning(a) and singular socio-ethical problem, deserving primaeval attention in Catholic social teachings this was viewed in the churches eye as social injustice. \nThis sublime would entail that all forms of human life deserve the same(p) respect and should enjoy the same rights throughout every stop of development. The fact that innocent children without a voice does not get the chance to explain themselves does not mean that people in our society have the right to take a life? Or is it a human being yet because you need the most important thing of being a human being which is the ability to breathe on your own without circuit mothers support. If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: Custom essay writing service. Free essay/order revisions. Essays of any complexity! Courseworks, term papers, research papers. 100% confidential!Homework live help. Custom Essay Order is available 24/7!
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