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vierandancer · 1 year

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Don’t leave me alone.

Fate and the world it ruled had a cruel sense of humor. That was all Meiko could think as she sat at Alisaie’s bedside, knowing that any hopes of her suddenly recovering were futile, and yet keeping watch anyway. She didn’t know what else she could do at the moment. She felt listless and lost, her only semblance of direction the orders they’d soon receive from the frontline.

Her mind still couldn’t quite wrap around what was happening. She had never been very smart, especially not when it came to any aether business, but this… this felt unnatural. And the worst part was –

“Mei.” Here was her brother, wearing the same grim-but-determined expression that had painted his features for what felt like weeks now. “Raubahn needs to speak with us.”

“Aye.” She let out a slow, deep exhale, then looked down at Alisaie again. Her thumb brushed over the teen’s knuckles affectionately (apologetically) before releasing her hand and slowly standing up, straightening to her full height. Her body ached, but was mostly uninjured.

Should she have been uninjured? Did she deserve such mercy?

Meiko looked to A’kihiko, but couldn’t quite meet his eyes. If she did, she knew she would have asked the question neither of them wanted to discuss: Which of us is next? Because surely, surely this would not end with Alisaie. Surely, they…

But if she brought it up, A’kihiko would have told her not to worry about it. Perhaps that was the smarter choice, but it felt impossible to Meiko. Even as they headed to Rauban’s tent to hear updates from the front line, her mind felt yalms away, and his voice further so. But she did finally perk up when he mentioned their next move:

“In light of this, we’re considering launching an offensive with the aim of pushing the front line forward,” he concluded, “and giving ourselves some room to breathe.”

A’kihiko nodded beside her, arms folded. “If that’s what your advisers believe is best, then I agree. Better to take the opportunity now; if the Emperor has truly retreated, then all the better. We may be able to break Garlean morale, too.”

“Our thoughts exactly.” Raubahn looked at her now. “Any other thoughts to add, Meiko? Concerns?”

Meiko flinched. “Uh,” Between not hearing a majority of the strategy and generally being unaccustomed to being addressed, the Viera fumbled a bit. “No, I – that sounds good to me.” Feeling insufficient, she tried to amend, “I mean – you just point me an’ Hiko in a direction and give us orders. We’ll kill and fight and distract wherever you need us.”

Raubahn nodded, considering, but Meiko couldn’t help but feel self-conscious around his silence. Surely if there were any other Scion around, he would have addressed them far sooner than they would have her. She was simply the only other person remaining, and that…that felt wrong. Again, her mind drifted to the Scions’ predicament, to Alisaie –

“Commander!” At this very moment, a distressed soldier came running up to the tent, chest heaving in a panic. “The imperials – they’ve broken through our defenses to the east!

Raubaun rounded on him sharply. “What?!”

“Our scouts say their forces are being led by Lord Zenos! Lord Hien and Commander Hext have taken their troops to provide support, but we don’t know how long they can hold out–”

A’kihiko took a half step forward. “Send us,” he said. “Mei and I are well enough to go.”

Meiko nodded, equally urgent despite her silence. Her stomach had plummeted to the floor and her palms were icy in anticipation, but there was no arguing here. That Lord Zenos wasn’t who he appeared to be, and only they had the means to truly defeat him. Otherwise, all of those forces would be decimated.

Raubahn agreed, “So they’ve just been biding their time, waiting for his arrival. Very well,” he addressed the soldier, “Send word to our allies requesting reinforcements for the front line, and prepare an airship for these two and any other able-bodied soldiers in camp immediately. Our fastest one!”

“Yes, Commander!” With a salute, the soldier ran off.

“Should the worst come to the worst, I may need to enter the fray myself,” Raubahn looked to them. “Are you sure you two are well enough for battle so soon? You still have the strength to fight?”

“It’s Zenos,” A’kihiko intoned. “We don’t have a choice. But we’ll take care of him. I’ve a debt to settle anyway,” he gestured to his injured eye, then cast Meiko a little smirk. Something just to lighten the mood, to give her comfort that he knew she needed as she stood there, her trembling barely noticeable. “And so do you. Right, sister?”

No, not now! NOT NOW!

But her knees had hit the dirt and she was clutching her head, holding it as if that could somehow minimize the agony. And again, just like before, that disembodied voice was pleading:

“Why won’t they open? Please, I bid you, open!”

She wanted to scream back at the voice, but her vision was flickering between various hues and it felt like her body was trying to rip itself apart. She wanted to shriek obscenities and demands and questions, but she couldn’t even breathe.

And then – just like every other time – the pain subsided, gone as quick as it had arrived, and Meiko was curled over on the ground. But she didn’t look up until she heard the heavy thump beside her, the scraping of metal on metal, a soft exhale…

She knew it before she even opened her eyes, felt her blood turn to ice as she took in the sight of her brother – unresponsive. Breath returned to her just in time for her to start screaming.

“Hiko!” She grabbed at his shoulders and shook him, shook him with all of the strength in her. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. “Hiko, come on! A’kihiko!”

If one were to discard the cosmic responsibilities, the titles and reputation, the fancy armor and weapons, the boy – the boy barely older than the twins themselves was still her little brother. The kitten she had found half-feral and starving in a trash can, the child she had helped raise and protect for almost her entire life –

And here he was, all but a corpse in her arms, manifesting her penultimate nightmares into reality.

“Please wake up – “ She was cradling his head, she was sobbing having given up on shaking him. “Hiko, please – Hydaelyn – “ What was the point of Her Blessing if he couldn’t be protected from this? What was the point of this entire campaign if there was no Warrior Of Light, no Champion of Eorzea to lead them?!

To lead them. Oh, Twelve. Between her sobs, Meiko could hear Raubahn barking updated orders to his subordinates. Changing their plans, even though there was absolutely no way for them to win otherwise.

No way. There was no way.

“Hiko, you have to – “ Why didn’t it take her? Why hadn’t she allowed the voice to take her? Why had she resisted at all?! “You have t’get up, Hiko, please –”

There was no one else that could save them. It had only ever been A’kihiko Mochikoko. She was just support! She had only ever been support for him. Maybe even a hindrance at times. She couldn’t – she could never –

Someone was trying to speak to her. One of the healers, and when Meiko looked up, she could see that they were tentatively attempting to loosen her grip on him.

“I’m sorry, but we should take him to the infirmary,” she whispered. “We’ll get him the best care, I promise.”

The best care. But what care was there? Not even Krile had figured this out yet! Meiko looked down at her brother and a piece of her wanted to scream no, that they couldn’t take him, that he was going to wake up and everything would be fine –

But she let him go. She let him go and sat there on her knees, watching a handful of healers rush him away, equally frantic. Equally afraid. And now that she was registering the other soldiers around them, looking on at the scene that had unfolded…

They were all afraid. They were rightfully terrified now because their hero had just been incapaciated and the Garlean Empire’s fiercest warrior was at their door. A’kihiko was gone, and he had taken all their hope and morale with them.

I’m sorry, she wanted to tell them. I’m sorry it’s just me. What a disappointment. Of all the Scions, only she remained. And why would they believe that she had contributed anything at all to her brother’s accomplishments?

She had told him to take all the credit. She didn’t want it. She didn’t want the praise or the fame or the expectations that came with it. She didn’t deserve any of that, good and bad, and she had been so content to sink into the background.

“Commander,” she heard that same soldier from before had returned. “Commander, the airship is ready. What do – should we –”

Meiko couldn’t hear Raubahn’s answer. She was staring at her lap where A’kihiko had been just a moment ago, feeling cold and empty and lost. She was supposed to look out for him. To protect him from nonsense like this. She had upended her entire life, perhaps her whole destiny, just to make sure this wouldn’t happen – and it had.

It had happened, and it turned out that she had never had any say in the matter anyway. She was powerless, and…

“Meiko.” Raubahn’s voice reached her. He was standing over her, even, a hand resting on her shoulder. “I need an answer quickly. Are you able to fight?”

No. The words very nearly spilled out of her. No, I can’t fight. I can’t do anythin’ or protect anyone. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m just me.

She was still crying, and looking up at him made those tears spill even more sharply down her cheeks. She couldn’t fight. Not like this. She was so tired and emotionally spent and so afraid. She had no confidence in her abilities, and definitely didn’t believe she stood a chance against Zenos. There was no way. There was no way.

But…even if all of that felt true, she knew that just giving up wasn’t really an option. She knew that A’kihiko would never forgive her, that Alisaie would scream, that the other Scions would only be more disappointed if she gave up now.

…And in truth, she didn’t want to give up, even if this meant she was hurtling towards her own demise.

And if she was really being honest with herself, maybe she could admit that she wanted to be the hero this time. She wasn’t the Warrior of Light, but right now, she was just going to have to pick up that title from A’kihiko and put it on anyway.

There was no alternative. There was no other path but her brother’s. So maybe –

“Aye.” Meiko didn’t sound confident at all, but she nodded slowly and sucked in her breath. “I’ll – I’ll go.”

Raubahn nodded, empathy and relief in his hard gaze. He squeezed her shoulder. “Give them hell, lass. I, for my part, will defend this place to my dying breath. I promise you.”

“I know.” She still felt so frail, but she fought to her feet against gravity and everything else that weighed on her. “Thank you.”

When she looked at the waiting soldier, she could tell he was still unsure – but that was okay. That was understandable. She was a nobody, but they couldn’t afford to be picky. She hurried after him and boarded the airship, and as soon as they were in the air, she threw up over the side.

The flight felt too slow and too fast all at once. The other soldiers on board were busy talking strategy and hyping each other up, and Meiko wished she had A’kihiko’s charisma so that she could give some inspiring speech. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t him. And even if that wasn’t a comfort, it was the truth.

Instead she kept to herself, clutched the railing of the airship, and shut her eyes. For a brief moment, she was able to tune everything out and felt herself drop into the abyss –

Fray. I need you right now.

I am here, Meiko. But you do not need me.

No, you don’t understand. I can’t –

You are the one that is needed, Meiko. Not me. Not your brother. And you are the only one who doesn’t believe you are capable of shouldering this burden.

She couldn’t see him in the darkness, but she could feel his presence growing stronger. Closer.

Think of all you have been through, every injustice you have witnessed – you have done it before. You do it every damned day!

Meiko took a breath. She felt lighter, if only a little.

Do not forget that you chose to continue this path. So you had best not give up on it!

“—We’ve begun our descent!”

It felt like Meiko had burst out from beneath deep water, just like it always did. As her vision cleared and her senses returned, the screams and clattering of weapons from the battlefield filled the air. Her heart began to pound and yet she had clarity.

Fray was right. Her brother’s status, although concerning, was unimportant right now. He wasn’t here. She was. And she was going to have to be enough to turn the tide.

Think of everythin’ I’ve witnessed – means get angry. Right, Fray? She could do that. She could dig deep and drag out the outrage in her, every violent urge and desire for vengeance she had suppressed for sake of their missions.

Now of all times was the perfect opportunity to let it all go.

For all of them. For everyone we’ve lost. For those we can yet save.

The pilots were shouting orders to the other soldiers as they neared the ground, and as she looked over the edge, she could see them: Hien on his last legs, Yugiri and Lyse already down for the count – and Zenos, or his approximate. Fuck it, it didn’t matter who was in there anymore –

She planted her boot against the railing and plucked her chakrams from her sides. She wanted to cry again, but that was okay. It was okay to cry when she was so godsdamned stressed and worried and emotionally drained –

But that could come later. As soon as the ground was close enough, Meiko launched herself up and over the side, landing in a roll and up again as she ran straight for Zenos.

“Oi, Zenos!” She was screaming again, but this time with all of the righteous anger she could drum up and then some. “Or whoe’er’s in there today!”

She saw him look up, and even before he spoke through his stupid fucking prune helmet, she knew he was unsatisfied: “Just you? What a disappointing reunion.”

“Fuck off, m’not here to entertain your shite power fantasies,” She placed herself between him and Hien, weapons drawn. “I’m more than enough.”

“Now square up, you filthy scrote!”

#memories.#stormblood.#brother.

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