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icannotgetoverbirds · 2 years

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on radical acceptance

okay so I am making a separate post for this because I am Feeling Things today

I was a fat kid. I am now a fat adult. I had a lot of internalized sizeism as a kid, and I still have some residual shit from the way I grew up.

I never saw fat characters on TV as characters who happened to be fat, they were always Fat™ - caricatures rather than characters. This was far beyond the norm - it would've been extraordinary to see a fat character, particularly a fat woman portrayed as just. a person.

I saw every fat person through a distorted lens, including myself. I never was able to see fat people being just people because I was too focused on the fact that they were fat. This again extended to myself.

One particularly painful day, I vowed to myself that I would never be a bully. I was sick and tired of the way I was treated. I knew it was based purely on superficial characteristics - being autistic probably didn't help.

This became especially important when I began to learn about activism. In particular, when I learned about fat activism, I realized that fat was a sort of demographic, too - and as such, deserved the same respectful dismantling of internalized -isms that I'd learned everybody had.

And as I dismantled it, I learned a few vital things:

Being fat is almost always out of one's control.

Even if it isn't, being fat does not deserve hatred.

Even if sizeist people are truly concerned for health, sizeism is not a solution - nor was being fat inherently problematic.

Being fat is not a moral issue - if it is any issue, it is a health issue.

Sizesit people don't actually care about fat people - they just hate having to look at us because their view of us is just as distorted as mine was.

To them, we are caricatures, not people. We are Fat™, not fat.

Many sizeist beliefs are rooted in ableism and aggressively capitalistic ideas.

Fat people are people first, before anything else.

If a thin person deserves something, so does a fat person.

And as I learned these things, I became able to see more clearly the humanity in other fat people, including those that were larger than me. I came to realize that we have not banded together as a community because we've fallen victim to a sort of infighting: we police ourselves and each other, and the system of sizeism continues in its cycle. We pat ourselves on the back for not being Fat™ in much the same way that young girls will pat themselves on the back for not being shallow caricatures of femininity - we have made each other our enemies instead of turning against the system that pitted us against each other in the first place.

I came to realize that we are all human beings, and that to love another human being for exactly who they are is a beautiful thing.

And gradually, the self-hatred that I'd denied and buried before exhuming it, began to decompose.

Now, years later, I realize the gravity of what I've done for myself. As a child, I couldn't imagine looking at this body and smiling. Now, I can look at this body and, despite the dysphoria that comes with being trans, say that this is a person I could love. Whether I perceive my reflection as a man or a woman, I can tell it "I could love you." Hell, I can tell it that it'd be an attractive woman if it was a woman and that it sure is a lovable man.

And to look at my reflection and say, "I could love this"?

It's so close to "I do love this". It's so far beyond where I ever believed I could go in my journey to be kind.

To put it simply, I think that radical acceptance leads to self acceptance, actually, and we all deserve that.

#sizeism tw #fatphobia tw #tw fatphobia #tw sizeism #tw dysphoria mention #self-love #self love #body positivity #fat positvity #fat positive #progress #holy shit im literally crying rn #sometimes i think im wasting my time here #but sometimes a post will Say Something #that i rly needed to hear #and like #humans really do need each other #don't they?#we really do need other people #it's impossible to be truly alone and sometimes that can drive you a little crazy but.#we really are so important to each other #tbh a lot of the self-hatred came from growing up mormon #or at least was reinforced by it #a lot of times the justification for modesty culture was 'nobody wants to see that'#except whatever 'that' was usually ended up being very attractive in thin people #so it just read as 'nobody wants to see That (your body)'#specifically fat bodies #this is not just about fat people and fatness by the way #this is about all the things the privileged people hate #this is about all the demographics that are seen as less than

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perasperaadastrawriting · 1 year

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ghost files universe

IMPORTANT: Aivars and atņemiet amoram bultas (aab) is owned by my love @prettygirlmeri . These works are all within the Ghost Files Universe. This is a crossover with atņemiet amoram bultas.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions and graphic depiction of violence, death, torture, terrorism and counter-terrorism, blood, substance abuse, loss of loved ones, mental health issues, eating disorder, hinted sexual content, pregnancy related issues and sizeism. proceed and read at your own caution. each snippet will feature potential tws if one of the above things is mentioned. again, proceed at your own caution.

ghost files ¹

SYNOPSIS: In the island state of Saint Irene capital crimes are seen as the worst. To fight against them they built a special unit to fight against these crimes. These are their cases.

ultraviolence ²

SYNOPSIS: A bank robbery and hostage situation causes the joint terror task force and the task force to join forces. Amidst a sect who seemed to have built a ideal world and a dead ex member they soon find hints that could destroy these people's very ideal world to the core.

your tears are my knives ³

SYNOPSIS: When a terror attack strucks the beating heart of Saint Irene's capital, injuring and killing people, the joint terror task force of Saint Irene police department is called into action. Upon following the traces the task force uncovers a conspiracy that could change the balance of power on the island.

a ghost's truce ⁴

SYNOPSIS: At first it all seemed like a normal homicide, nothing special. That is until Vidmantas Budrys finds a picture of one of his team in the victim's house alongside pictures of other people. Searching in the past the team finds an old case that could destroy the team.

a mockingbird's cry ⁵

SYNOPSIS: What if a case brings two teams together to catch a murderer and reveals a plot far bigger. what if someone decides to start a psychological warfare?

protocol spectre ⁶

sequel to ghost files, next generation

SYNOPSIS: when Simon McKay and his friends stumble upon a crime that does not seem to be a crime and are asked for help by an elderly woman they soon notice that something seems to be wrong. When the old woman is found dead the teenagers try to get their parents involved but the death cause at first seems to be of natural cause. When hints for an old artefact hidden on the island are found a battle against time begins, embarking the young people on a hunt for the treasure and to find out who killed the old woman.

more to be added...

tag list: @writingpotato07 , @prettygirlmeri, @queerlilchinchin, @pluttskutt , @essiesreadingcorner, @theimperiumchronicles, @mrsmungus (asked to be added or removed)

#my wips #ghostfiles #ghostfilesuniverse #my friends #meri & leia #meri 💕#gfaabcollab

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fatphobiabusters · 6 years

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I'm sorry that your life is so sad that you think not bullying, harassing, attacking, abusing, threatening, discriminating against, or otherwise hurting people is "walking on eggshells" and that you think being a decent human being and treating others like human beings is "censorship."

I mean, how sad your life must be if you think hatred, rage, and cruelty is normal and acceptable but compassion and respect are not.

If us asking you not to treat people cruelly because of their weight is so offensive to you, I feel sorry for you.

... Wait, no I don't. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Mod Bella

#bella blogs #abuse mention tw #Body Shaming #Fat Shaming #Fatphobia #Healthism #Sizeism #Weight Bigotry #Weight Discrimination #Weight Stigma #Discrimination Against Fat People

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fatphobiabusters · 7 years

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TW anxiety, eating disorders (kind of)

I’m thin and have been thin my entire life, but I’ve had some experiences with fatphobia that are interesting and saddening. I have anxiety and very severe depression. Some days I only get out of bed to use the bathroom, not eating or drinking anything for 12+ hours at a time. My anxiety causes me to have constant nausea, and I vomit from anxiety about once a week. This causes me to have low energy, which is a whole big cycle of depression and not eating and having even less energy.

I’ve had close friends who ask me how I stay so thin. I tell them honestly: my mental health is such a mess, I have a really hard time doing the bare minimum to take care of myself. And about ¾ of the time, they tell me that they’re jealous of my body and wish they had as little appetite as I do. Jealous! This is how horrible fatphobic culture is! I am incredibly unhealthy and all I want is stability but somehow I’m lucky because my body reflects my anxious nausea. Fatphobia minimizes real health concerns and prioritizes thinness over health.

This is a wonderful submission and I appreciate you sending it to us and sharing your personal experiences.

I also appreciate how you recognize that what you are facing isn’t skinny shaming or something of that nature, but a reflection of how fatphobia is rampant in society. Moreover, I appreciate that you recognize how this is hurtful to people other than yourself.

This is 100% spot on: people care more about being thin than being healthy. They see things like severe illness and eating disorders as somehow being brilliant diet ideas. I mean we could go on and on about this, couldn’t we? But you summed it up perfectly in that last statement.

This is a real problem with our society and I am appalled that this happened, but not surprised. I remember being congratulated when people learned I was skipping meals and limiting myself to 300 calories or less a day.

Fandomsandfeminism made a post about this, arguing that being healthy and/or happy should come before being thin. In other words, people who are happy and healthy as they are shouldn’t force themselves to become thinner. In some ways, the post was meant to address fatphobia; in others, it was meant to be supportive of people with eating disorders. But people were furious and offended with the post, and have been calling it thin shaming and discriminatory against thin people because “How dare you say that being thin is bad!!!”

It’s so hard to call out fatphobia and this trend of ignoring serious health issues because people are so convinced that being thin is the best thing you can be.

Thank you again for your submission. I hope this helps lead to more discussion on this topic.

-Mod Bella

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