#trying to die... he started saying a long speech to try to convince her. but he had none of that here. he just had a very simple yet
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I'll Be Here
T | 1,187 words
Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is being willing to wait for them
Eddie has always known that, one day, Steve would move to the city with Robin so he can finally go to college. Eddie has grown too aware of Steve, his tells and how much he needs Robin.
When he first brought up college, he was venting about how horrible it would be to go so long without seeing Robin.
Eddie had struggled to hold back his laughter, painfully aware that he wasn't actually venting. He was trying to find an excuse to follow her. He was trying to convince himself that it would be worth putting the effort in to go to college too.
So, when Steve shuffled in one day, concerned but excited? Eddie wasn't surprised.
"I got in," he'd started. "To college, I mean. I applied with Robin and... I got in."
"That's amazing," Eddie said. "Baby, I'm so proud of you."
And he was. He was so extremely proud and excited.
But, when the day finally came for Steve to leave, he found it hard to bring those emotions back. He hated how clearly Steve could see through his forced grins.
"I'm fine," Eddie had insisted when Steve asked. "Really. I'm going to miss you, but this is so good for you. I'm so excited to hear about what you're going to do."
"I'll call," Steve promised, arms tight around him in a hug. He only pulled back to litter Eddie's face with kisses.
And, as promised, Steve called as soon as they arrived in their new dorm. Eddie could hear Robin babbling in the background, excited about their tiny little space, whilst Steve tried to hold in his laughter long enough to spew his usual romantics.
He'd called the next day too, to let Eddie know how they'd settled in and talk about all the different activities he was planning on checking out. There was even a D&D group that made him think of Eddie, that he didn't join simply because he wants his first game to be with him.
It wasn't until the next week that he called again. Steve spent the entire call gushing about a teacher who'd sat down with him and talked him through all his options.
"I'm going to be a teacher!" Steve had finished his speech off. "For, like, middle schoolers!"
"That's amazing!" Eddie replied. "That's- Stevie, that's perfect for you! You're gonna be amazing!"
"Yeah? You really think so?"
"I know so."
Steve had warned him that he would be busy, that he wouldn't be able to call as much.
It still made something deep in Eddies chest ache when another week would go by with no news from Steve.
Eddie wasn't worried though. Not really.
Especially when he came back with Robin for Christmas.
He hadn't been able to stay more than three days but, the entire time he was back in Hawkins, he was glued to Eddie. He grabbed and held on, as if he was finally able to breathe. As if he would die if he didn't get to touch Eddie for one second longer.
Robin constantly joked that she was going to need a crowbar to pry him off of Eddie.
She was almost right. It had taken him so long to say goodbye that they left more than an hour later than they had originally planned.
Eddie waved to them as they drove off. He was surprised at how excited he felt- it would only be a year until he got to see Steve again.
They'd been reluctant to admit their plans to stay in their dorms over summer break, but Eddie had encouraged them.
It was a good idea after all.
"But he could be doing anything," Mike had frowned, confused at how calm and content Eddie was. "With anyone. And he's not talking to you! Doesn't that make you... I don't know, worry?"
"No?" Eddie frowned back. He didn't understand why the kids were so confused. "Steve wouldn't do something like that. I know that, so what do I have to worry about?"
"You're just gonna wait around forever then?"
"Nope. He's just at college, kid. He's gonna come back and, when he does, I'll be right here."
When Steve went into his second year, he had settled enough that he started calling once a month.
It quickly became Eddies favorite time of the month and, if anyone tried to get him to do anything else on the day, he would blow them off. He couldn't be late home- not when Steve was going to call.
"I miss you," Steve would always say, in lieu of a greeting.
"I miss you too, baby," Eddie always mumbled back. He would cradle the phone close, with both hands, as he did.
"I keep thinking about you," Steve promised.
He would say it every call, repeating it as though worried that Eddie might forget. That Eddie might doubt that.
Eddie would always divert the conversation before Steve could spiral too much.
He always gave the same farewell when it came time for Steve to hang up so he could study or take part in whatever activity Robin has dragged him into that week.
"I'll be here," Eddie always said. "Don't worry about me. I could wait forever for you, big boy."
The third and fourth year went the same as the first.
Each Christmas was glorious. But, for the third Christmas, they'd managed to organise enough so they could spend a whole week in Hawkins.
Eddie insisted on taking polaroids of them. His favorite is the one he'd snapped of Steve, who was unaware, soft and sleepy in Eddie's kitchen.
"This is the last year," Steve told him, at the start of his fifth year. "Just this year, then I'm coming home."
One more year. It was the phrase that had been getting Eddie through the waiting, but it didn't help anymore. It only made it worse.
He couldn't stop thinking about how, when Steve does come back, he's staying.
Wayne helped him move out the trailer, and into his own. It wasn't any bigger than Wayne's, but it was enough for Eddie. He knew it would be enough for Steve.
The hideout didn't pay well, but Eddie was careful with his government hush money. He had plenty, more than enough to last a lifetime if budgeted right.
He made sure everything was ready for Steve. He made sure their home was ready.
And, when Steve does come home, all Eddie feels is love.
"Welcome home," Eddie says, leading him into their trailer.
"Oh, it's perfect," Steve whispers.
Eddie can hear the genuine awe in his voice. He grabs Steve, turning him around so he can finally see the expression too.
"You're so beautiful," Eddie says. "God, I missed you so much."
Steve practically throws himself at Eddie, their teeth clashing harshly with how hard Steve kisses him.
"Fuck," Steve groans, holding Eddie's face in both his hands. "You really waited for me all this time- Eds, God, I love you so much."
"I love you, too. I love you, more than anything, baby. You're worth the wait, you're so worth it."
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RotJ makes a point of letting us know that Leia is Luke's sister, they've known this on some level for a long time, and he probably cares more about her than anyone in the world because this gives so much more weight to his conflict at the end of the movie, and I think this is a huge thing people overlook when they argue that him redeeming his father represents a rejection of the old Jedi ways of non-attachment. Because in the moment he has to let go of Leia and his friends to be able to actually save Anakin.
When Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke that he has to kill Vader and there's no other way, he doesn’t really discuss it as an issue of Luke having an attachment to him. I think he knows this isn't really the Jedi way but just like in the previous war, they don't seem to be faced with any good choices. Obi-Wan believes what Luke wants is truly impossible and, having failed to stop Vader when he could have before, of course he's trying to stop Luke from making the same mistake.
But it's significant that in the same conversation, Obi-Wan does warn him that his love for his sister could be made a liability if he's not careful. When Luke learns he has a twin and reveals how strong a connection he feels with Leia because he doesn't even have to be told who it is, Obi-Wan's response sets up how this will play into the climax of the film:
"Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor."
Then when Luke is brought to Sidious, he reveals to Luke that the Rebellion is walking right into a trap as a way to torment and provoke him. Luke gets angrier and angrier while helplessly watching the fleet get ambushed and finally does just what Sidious wants and tries to attack him. But it's Vader specifically threatening Leia that makes Luke totally lose control of his feelings and fight him in a rage.
Luke is basically facing the same kind of test he failed so badly in ESB by running off to help his friends. When Yoda is trying to make him see he's not ready to face Vader and keep him from going to Bespin, he says something that I think is such an underrated quote in its importance to Luke's whole journey:
"Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could, but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered."
Luke is really lucky he doesn't get killed in Cloud City (or captured, which I think at this point could have resulted in him being turned). Yoda knows Luke is the one person with a chance of defeating the Emperor and Luke just about throws that away.
But at the end of RotJ when Luke cuts off Vader's hand, he surely is reminded of his failure at Bespin and sees the path he's starting down by succumbing to his fears like that again. He stops because he sees he's betraying his loved ones and everything he is. He can only throw away his weapon and confidently tell the Emperor to eat shit then because he's no longer afraid of dying or of those he loves dying. He's done what his father couldn't do and kept his soul intact, which is what Leia would want. Because real love isn't selfishly trying to save someone by betraying what they believe in like Anakin did with Padme. And it obviously has to be an incredibly powerful thing for Vader to see his own son able to do this, even comparing himself to the man he once was ("I am a Jedi, like my father before me").
We remember everything working out okay so it's easy sometimes to forget that Luke gives this triumphant speech when the rebel fleet is getting pulverized outside and things overall still look pretty hopeless. He probably expects he could die at this point. But like Obi-Wan in his own death scene, he knows nothing can destroy him now. And it's the love he feels for his family that gives him the strength to let go.
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Baby Fever with Trigun Boys!
Authors Note: I’ve been so obsessed with the Trigun baby post recently it’s been filling my head with thoughts, so here’s all the Trigun boys with if they would want kids + how many kids I think they’d have! (w Livio, Razlo, and Legato because they never get enough love 💔)
Trigger warning: hints of pocd in Legatos (his is at the very end so you can stop reading before his if it’s a sensitive subject)
Vash:
Would Vash want kids? Yes...eventually
•When he first thinks about having kids with you he’s over the moon excited but then the longer he thinks about it the more nervous he gets. He does want a baby but he already feels bad for dragging you along and putting you in danger, and he’s got a bit of a self loathing streak (he makes me so sad) so he’ll probably slow down and try to convince you to wait until he stops his brother to have a family
•The other thing is he’s also not even sure if it’s possible, plant and human hybrid??? it’s never been done, not that he’s not eventually down for trying
•Although once he gets it in his head that you want a baby with him he discovers a side of himself that he didn’t know existed until now, rest assured you won’t be leaving the bed anytime soon.
•If you get pregnant before Vash can stop his brother he might mope just a bit apologizing despite you not really being mad, but it doesn’t last long. Then he’s both super excited and super stressed! What do babies need? are you hot? cold? do you need him to carry you? need help reaching something? he’s there fussing over you like a mother hen
•If you get pregnant after he deals with Knives, then he’s a lot more eager right off the bat, excited to start a family after everything he’s been through (still a mother hen though)
•Vash 👏 has 👏twins 👏
•Two little girls to be exact! one for each arm, one for each parent! Double the cuteness!
• Vash is a very good dad, eager to raise his children the way he thinks Rem would want him to, plus he has you! They grow a bit faster than human children thanks to the plant genes but not nearly as fast as Vash and Nai grew up so luckily you guys get to still enjoy them being small
• As the twins grow up they are eerily similar to how Vash and Nai were as children. In fact Vash gets a bit nervous when his other little girl takes on so many personality traits of his older brother, he stresses about it a bit, not that he didn’t love Nai but he doesn’t want history to repeat itself. Luckily he has you by his side, every time he lets his thoughts run wild, he watches the way you so gently parent the twins...he takes a small breath of relief. He feels in a way...he failed his brother but this is different, this time it’ll be okay
Wolfwood:
Does he want kids? Yes 👍
•Wolfwood loves kids so it’s natural he’d want some of his own and especially if it’s with you
•Thing is slightly similar to Vash he’d be a bit reluctant to have kids right now. He’s got a lot on his plate and he also has a bit of a self loathing streak (Trigun boys x therapy) he isn’t sure he deserves to start a family with someone as good as you
•When you do start a family Nick goes from 0-100 real fast, and by that I mean he goes from being protective to guard dog mode 24/7 but can you blame him? He’s seen how dangerous the world is he’ll die before he let’s anything happen to you or his unborn child
•Your first kid is a little girl, one that grows up to be...a little too much like her father. Sarcasm is her default speech and she’s a little head strong, but very protective of her family
•Now I don’t see enough people talking about this but??? Wolfwood??? would for sure want to adopt a kid??? He grew up in an orphanage, so of course your second kid was adopted. As much as he loves your daughter he knows how much the kids at the orphanage need a good home, so you welcome in a little boy. One that's a bit timid and shy and reminds Wolfwood all too much of little Livio when he was young, safe to say it pulls on his heart strings
•The last kid is the baby! Your daughter and son are a bit older and the third was admittedly a bit of an accident, not an unwelcomed one, but not planned. Either way Nick is happy about it (plus he’s really good at taking care of babies) In all you tie off your happy little family with three kids (four if you count nick lol)
•Wolfwood is a good dad though. Also he’s the kids favorite, so expect to get jealous when after school all the kids run into his arms. Don’t expect condolences either, this man will look up at you, all the kids in his arms and give you the biggest shit eating grin too...the bastard.
Knives
Would he want kids? Yes if you take care of them lmao
•Okay so unlike Vash and Wolfwood, Knives sees himself as an apex, so he can protect you and his kids from anything, if he decides he wants kids he doesn’t feel the need to wait
•The only thing is...it’s cannon he’s got a thing for impregnation right? but you have to realize this is for Plants, plant children aren’t like human children (or in this case plant/human children?) they grown alot faster, understand alot quicker, and he’s not the most...nurturing guy in the world.
•So buckle up because you’ll be in charge of most the children's care! don’t worry too much though, if you ask for something he’ll provide it so you won’t ever need to stress about not having anything.
•During the pregnancy he’s fiercely protective over you, keeping you in his private wing in a plush bed. Only letting Legato help take care of you and Conrad whos in charge of your check ups
•Now honestly I’m not sure how many kids he’d have, so I see one of two options
•option one, an only child. One that he has you raise then begins to take more under his wing as he or she grows up. A child that's, in a way, the heir of everything Nai has built, one that will grow to be as strong as their father (with hopefully a bit more care thanks to you)
•option two, lots of children. Once he sees your pregnant the first time...well he likes you like that, might as well keep you like that all the time right? Besides don’t you want to continue his legacy?
•Either way he does like love his children, he just has a hard time showing it. He tries to show he cares though i mean you’ve seen how he is with Vash. Honestly I think it’s easier for your kids to understand their fathers affections since their half plant, gives them a better insight you know? (if you mess with them it’s literally the quickest way to die though so it’s not like that aren’t under his care still)
Livio
Does he want children? 100% Yes!
•This man...ugh this man
•Livio 100% wants kids with you, he’s a gentle giant and a soft soul at heart. He wants nothing more than to settle down with you and have a couple little feet running around.
•This man is so patient so caring with you. He’s also a little scared he’ll hurt you once you’re pregnant I mean look at you!!! you’re so cute! waddling around all that baby weight, what if he crushes you? or bumps into you and hurts the baby? what do you mean that's not how that works?
•Despite his worries you welcome a happy healthy baby girl, who he’s still a little apprehensive about hurting at first but once you guide him through holding the little bundle of joy he’ll settle a bit
•So you have your first little girl, and after about a year you decide to try for another. You and livio decide you want to try to have one boy one girl, only thing is...you have another little girl! but that's okay! because a year after that you try again...and have another little girl. Livio accepts his fate after that.
•all jokes! Livio really does love his little girls to death, he doesn’t really care if he has a little boy or not, besides it’s endlessly hilarious to come home and see this hulk of a man surrounded by three little girls, one of which has dressed him up in a pink tutu so he can attend her royal tea party, another using her cheap kid make up to make him “the prettiest girl at the ball” while she smears eyeshadow on his face and another one yet pulling what hair he has into multiple little pig tails.
•Now I do have one small headcannon that only applies if you are in a relationship with both Livio and Razlo. If you are in a relationship with both the boys then Razlo sees the girls as his kids but not his kids if that makes sense...as in he helps raise them as his own but he doesn’t feel like he in particular made them you know?
•Razlo will probably ask if he can try for one kid with you (if you know what I mean) and you'll end up with one more kid, your youngest and ofcourse...it’s a boy! Razlo will never let Livio live this down, he will tease Livio about this fact forever. “What like it was hard?” “Shut up Razlo”
Razlo
Does he want kids? Maybe?
•Razlos a little on the fence about kids at first. He’s spent his life training, protecting, killing. As cocky as he acts he isn’t sure he’d be a good dad.
•Once he get’s more settled into his life not constantly fighting he’ll start to consider it though, because Razlo does like kids it’s just...he spent his whole life protecting Livio he had just never really considered the fact he might one day have a family of his own
•When you’re pregnant he follows you around like a puppy, his broad form is like a large shadow keeping a watchful eye over your smaller form. Unlike Livio though he’s a little less scared of his strength, in fact he likes to use it to his advantage, why waste his gift right? so expect him to try to carry you around everywhere. Also don’t even think about lifting anything, that’s what he’s for!
•As mentioned in Livios if you are in a relationship with both Razlo and Livio then Razlo will only really try to get you pregnant once after all Livios kids born. He’s content with raising all the girls and one little boy. (Razlo also gets swept up into the parties. He puts up a bit more of a fight and complains and bit more then Livio does but he loves them so he deals with it.)
•As for his little boy he tries to get him into more traditionally masculine things so he can have a break from playing princess but he’s actually very accepting of whatever his kids want to do. If his little boy end up liking the stuff he does? great! If he doesn’t and just wants to join his sisters? also great! I mean, he’s a little less thrilled there's now four sets of hands hastily applying lipstick to his face, but that’s life. (Jokes on him, it ends up being one of the little girls who’s a little tomboy. “papa Razlo? can we go catch bugs?” “Oh thank god yes let’s go”)
•But!!! If you are in a relationship with just Razlo then it’s a bit different. He’ll probably end up with two kids, both boys. The first boy is alot like him, very loud, blunt, and protective. He’s also a bit of a trouble maker and it doesn’t help Razlo is a bit of a yes man which ends in both of them with their heads bowed while you scold them
•Your younger one is a bit more of a gentle soul. A lot more shy, more of an introvert and defiantly glued to you in his younger years. Razlo doesn’t 100% understand his interest as he gets older but he does try, in fact his shy nature reminds him a lot of Livio which makes him a bit protective of your youngest. in all he ends up being a great dad
Legato
Does he want kids? No.
•Now listen, you need to understand, this man did not have a good childhood, in fact he didn’t have a childhood.
•He doesn’t have any experience with kids and the way he was treated as a child...yeah he’s got a lot of trauma around the whole concept of children as a whole, and honestly it’d have to be pretty far in your relationship for him to even be willing to be physical enough with you to even have the chance to conceive a kid.
•so no he doesn’t want kids.
•but lets say accidents happen and somehow the two of you are a bit careless and you end up pregnant
•oh boy are you ready? Because Legato makes me really sad. He’d be a bit distant during your pregnancy, he doesn’t really know how to feel about all this, he never imagined himself as a father and now...
•When your baby is first born (a little boy) you’re going to have to do all the care. It’s rough but honestly with his trauma? he’d be scared to death to touch his kid. He’s paranoid. He knows what he went through and he’s scared. What if he hurts his kid? What if the same thing happens to him? In reality he’d never and I mean never hurt his kid but it’s a common for this kind of paranoia in victims of the type of abuse Legato suffered.
•It’s a rough couple of first years but after some reassurance (and therapy! please get this man therapy!) He slowly comes around. No matter what though he’s protective. Like I said he knows how cruel humanity can be, and even in the first years with his paranoia he’ll be damned if anyone hurts his little boy. In fact he might go a bit over board and refuse to let anyone even touch him or pick him up besides you
•Once he settles in though...it’s not so bad. He slowly warms up to him, admittedly it’s a bit rocky at first. To your little boy Legato is a bit of a stranger living in the same house of him since Legato refuses to let himself get too close, but give it time and they’ll slowly bond.
“I’m told you like to read?” “...yeah” “maybe...I could give you some of my favorite books? would you like that?” “...okay.”
•Don’t worry!!! the two end up okay. Despite the less than ideal start, Legato gains more confidence the more he interacts with his son. Especially since they have a lot of the same interest. At the end of the day Legato realizes something, he want’s to give his kid the childhood he never got to have.
#vash x reader#wolfwood x reader#livio x reader#razlo x reader#legato x reader#trigun x reader#vash x you#wolfwood x you#knives x reader#legato x you#livio x you#razlo x you#knives x you
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Hostile Territory - Chapter 14
Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)
Word count: 2.3K
Warnings: Nothing for this chapter
Catch up: Series Masterlist
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Masterlist
A/N: I'm sorry I'm so late with answering comments but I will as soon as I have a little more time 🖤
Day 176
Leah was down for chow before anyone else, having not slept much that night. Sheʼd heard Sy give the boys the typical “lights out at sundown or risk getting sniped” speech followed by a new addition of “Corporal Colemanʼs room is off limits to everyone”.
She’d brought her sketchbook down with her, desperately needing something to focus all her nervous energy into. It seemed to have worked because she didn't notice Niki walk in until he sat on the bench beside her.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Niki bumped his knee against hers under the table, not wanting to risk any sort of half hug with the soldiers slowly filtering into the hall.
“No harm done, I promise.”
His reassuring smile helped convince her that there was indeed no harm done—well, not for him at least. The harm to her… relationship was still to be seen.
Leah flipped to the back of her book, tearing a blank page out and handing it and a pencil to Niki. As she turned back to the drawing sheʼd been working on, Niki caught a glimpse of the picture of Leah and Caleb that she had taped inside the front cover.
“You heard from Caleb lately?”
“Not since he started his residency.”
They both turned their focus to their pages. The act of working side by side with only casual chatter was comfortably familiar. They’d done it many times when she was a teenager.
“I can’t believe I call him more than you do.”
“I don’t want him to worry,” Leah said by means of explanation.
“You mean, you don’t want to be reminded of how much you miss him.”
It seemed that in the years since she’d last seen Niki, Leah had forgotten that he could sniff out her lies like a damn bloodhound. And that he wasn’t afraid to call her on her bullshit.
“How’s your mom?”
Niki sighed but accepted the change of subject. Chow hall was not the best place for long, emotional conversations.
“Same as always, asking me how I’m going to give her grandbabies if I’m halfway around the world,” he paused, looking up at Leah’s profile. “She misses you.”
Leah smiled to herself. Her head tipped to the side as she shaded the moth she’d been working on for the past week, trying to make it perfect. It was the same basic design as the one she’d drawn on Sy but with a level of detail she couldn’t accomplish with just sharpies.
“I miss her too. You think she’d mind if I stopped by if I ever get back?”
Niki didn’t like that she was saying if she ever got back. He hoped it was just because it had been so long since she’d been stateside
“Are you kidding? She’d love it. She’ll take one look at you and drop everything to cook you a decent meal. What the hell are they doing to you out here, anyway, you’re all skinny.” He poked Leah’s ribs as if to emphasize his point.
“That’s because Coleman refuses to go easy on the training even when she almost dies.”
Jer fell onto the bench across from Leah, making the whole table shake. Leah snapped her sketchbook shut before he could recognize the design as being the same one she’d drawn on the captain.
“I’m sorry,” a frown fell over Niki’s face, “how frequently do you almost die for this to be a habit?”
The other boys gathered around Leah, Ethan and Benjie taking a seat on either side of Jer and Rohan sitting on Leah’s right.
“We have to save her ass at least once a week,” Ethan answered.
“It’s exhausting,” Rohan added.
“You guys suck, you know that?”
Niki laughed, setting his pencil down on the half finished image of some robot or another. A few men from his platoon joined him while others found seats wherever there was room.
“A little sensitive, are we?” a cute blond private said. “Whatʼs wrong, are your menses making you irritable?”
Leah was about to give him a very unladylike response but Niki spoke in her place.
“Nah, this is just her default level of bitchy. You’ll get used to it.”
“Oh yeah? And how would you know that?”
“Because I’ve known Leah a long fucking time and the day she got her IUD and stopped getting periods it was like a weight was lifted off of all of our shoulders. She’s mean when she’s PMS-ing.”
“As opposed to how mean she is at any other time of the month?” Benjie quipped.
“Okay, first, fuck all of you. Second, you really wanna play that game, Niki, then we can talk about summer break oh-five.”
He immediately shut his mouth, his next words dying on his lips.
“That’s what I thought,” Leah smirked.
Niki’s boys started asking about the logistics of the upcoming op while Reynolds dropped by long enough to inform her that Sy had ordered that she get a follow-up check before being cleared for field duty. Her gaze instinctively found the man in question.
It seemed that even with new men at the base he hadn’t changed his habits, sporting shorts and a faded red t-shirt. Aika walked into the room ahead of him, taking a lap with her nose pressed to the ground. It was unfortunate that she was born a stray rather than at some breeder out in the States. She would have made one hell of a bomb dog.
Sy’s intense blue eyes flickered between Leah and Niki, studying them. Leah wished that for once she would be able to read his expression.
“So how do you know Leah?” Benjie asked after they’d all gotten their food and settled back around the table.
“I met her brother Caleb in my second year of junior high. Unfortunately for me, him and this pain in the ass were a package deal.”
“Caleb, that’s the doctor right?” Ethan directed his question to Leah.
“Yeah, I’ve only got the one brother.”
“Huh… The way you act sometimes makes it seem like you were raised in a house full of boys.”
Niki didn’t miss the way Leah looked down at her lap, chewing her bite more than strictly necessary as a way of buying herself time.
The pair shared a subtle look, Niki giving a slight shake of his head. Leah knew exactly what he was trying to ask. Don’t they know? Leah answered with a barely there shake of her own. No, they don’t.
“Her house was where we all used to hang out. Gage was a second father to all Caleb’s friends.”
Luckily, the guys didn’t notice the unspoken exchange, too focused on their breakfast.
“I better get to medical. Wish me luck.”
“Na, you don’t need luck. I’ve seen Reynolds check out your ass. If he doesn’t clear you, a quick blowie will change his mind.”
Leah kicked Jer under the table, standing to clean up her tray and her sketchbook.
“I’ll meet you in the tent when I’m done.”
The exercise tent was buzzing with activity. Normally there was more than enough room for everyone to do their own thing but now, Sy actually found himself having to wait his turn or use lighter weights just to get things over with.
As he spotted Pepps on the bench press, his eyes roamed over the new arrivals. They were a decent looking bunch. Young and fit but not so much so that their inexperience was a major concern. Energetic but not undisciplined. Confident but not cocky.
Their lieutenant stood by the chin-up bar, his arms crossed over his chest as he chatted with Benjie while Ethan and Jeremiah competed to see who could hold the longest with their chin above the bar.
Pepps finished his set, setting the bar back in place without any help from Sy. He didn’t really need a spot but it gave Sy an excuse to stand and stare.
They traded places, Sy stretching out onto his back and taking hold of the bar. Sy stared at a small tear in the roof of the tent as he absent-mindedly brought the weight down to his chest before pushing it back up again.
There were about a million things to do before the op. They needed a full inventory of supplies and ammunition, the humvees needed maintenance, plans needed to be finalized and a briefing needed to be held to make sure everyone knew their role.
Having not kept count at all, Sy used the burn of his muscles to determine when to stop. With the bar safely back on the rack, he quickly stood, liberating the bench for the next person in line.
He was almost ready to call it a day but he still needed to do a few sets of squats. As he approached the stack of plates in the corner, Niki pulled his shirt up, wiping the sweat from his face.
“Woah, that’s some serious ink you’ve got there,” Connors said.
The Lieutenant looked up with a raised brow, almost seeming to ask if the comment was indeed directed towards him.
“You mean my back?”
When Connors nodded in confirmation, Niki removed his shirt, turning away so the other man could get a closer look.
Though Sy had never really been a fan of tattoos, he still found himself studying the man’s back like the others around them.
“I've seen that before,” he said without thinking and to no one in particular.
When Connors got called away and the others lost interest, Niki shrugged his shirt back on, turning to face Sy.
“That’s not surprising, Cerberus is a pretty well known mythological creature.”
“No, I mean I’ve seen that exact design before.”
It took a moment but it eventually clicked. Leah’s sketchbook. He’d seen that design in her sketchbook in her second month on base.
“It’s hers, isnʼt it?”
No one else was within ears reach but he still refrained from saying Leahʼs name. The younger man looked almost surprised but nodded anyway.
“Yeah, I went to her guy. He reworked her drawing to make sure it would look good and age well but thatʼs about it. I’d have asked her to do it herself but she ended up enlisting and giving up her apprenticeship.”
Though Leah had said her decision to enlist was for the best, it felt like lately she spent every spare second bent over her sketchbook. It made him wonder whether she was truly happy or whether she was having second thoughts.
Sy picked up his weights moving to the side where he wouldn’t be in the way. For some reason he thought it would sound more like a casual conversation than a fishing expedition if he was doing something else at the same time.
“How many people has she made tattoos for?”
Niki chose a pair of dumbbells and took up position next to Sy, both men facing the room rather than each other.
“Just me and herself, I think. She doesnʼt really take requests or anything itʼs more like… Like her drawings are her diary. If something or someone is on her mind, she draws. The more worried she is the more she draws. Or she works out. She made mine right before I left for OCS.”
“Guess that explains why sheʼs so damn secretive with that book of hers. She fucking drags it everywhere since she got shot last month but she threatened to stab Jer with a fork if he tried to open it.”
He really wanted to know what was eating at her. Well, he already knew, but he wanted to know how she felt about what had happened that night.
Niki dropped his weight, turning to face Sy.
“Wait, you mean she actually did almost die? I thought the guys were just fucking with her.”
Sy paused for a moment, reliving the night all over again.
“It definitely qualified as near-death but luckily she came out of it with only a concussion and some fucked up ribs.”
“Shit.”
As if summoned, Leah walked into the tent, pausing at the entrance as she looked for her team. They found her first, huddling around her and impatiently awaiting to hear the verdict of her check-up. By the sounds of it, sheʼd been cleared, earning her a round of high-fives from the men.
Niki sat down, brushing a hand through his hair. It was freshly trimmed but it looked like he kept it about at the maximum length they were allowed. Not that anyone at Warhorse would give him shit if he stayed long enough for it to grow out.
After finishing his second set, Sy joined the man on the ground.
“The moth makes more sense now.”
Sy was so focused on Leah that he almost didnʼt hear the off handed comment.
“What?”
Niki looked up from where he was busy fixing the laces on his boots.
“Nothing, itʼs just a hunch. She was drawing a moth earlier. Typically they sort of mean rebirth, new beginnings, stuff like that. Or maybe she just thought it looked cool and I’m looking for meaning where there is none.”
“Right.” Or it could mean the guy she drew a moth on had basically tried to jump her bones while she was half out of it with a concussion. “What does a three-headed dog mean?”
“Protection. Or, in Leah speak, ‘you better not fucking die on usʼ. She texted me the picture on the day I left. It wasn’t meant to be a tattoo but I liked the idea of having something watching my back out here, you know?”
Us. That fit with his claim from the night before that he knew Leah through her brother. And if Leah was an ex then he probably wouldn’t have wanted a permanent reminder of her etched into his skin, but that didn’t mean neither of them had ever wanted more. He was a few years older than Leah. Maybe he’d gone off to OCS before they ever got a chance to try and be together.
“Yo LT, you got a minute?”
Niki sighed, putting his weights away. “Duty calls. Iʼll let the boys know weʼre briefing at fifteen hundred.”
Chapter 15
#captain syverson#captain syverson fic#captain syverson fanfic#captain syverson fanfiction#cpt syverson fic#cpt syverson#cpt syverson fanfiction#henry cavill#cpt syverson x ofc#captain syverson x ofc
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So some folks say Jess is out of character here. And that is valid—I can totally see it. But I think there’s room for another interpretation here (as usual with Succession’s writing!)
Let’s rewind a little bit and see where these lines end up in the course of the scene (because that was my first question when I saw this—“where does this happen?”)
Kendall has made it clear (“not going to let her up”) that they’re having this talk whether she wants to or not. But Jess has already made her decision. Like so many other instances, Kendall is too late. The die is already cast. This relationship has reached the point of no return.
She presents her speech that she’s prepared, trying to navigate this with resolve—and to end on a good note. This is not a “fuck you, I’m quitting speech.”
But what type of conversation does this end up being?
Kendall becomes increasingly desperate (all happening within an hour of his breakdown with Rava and the kids) but Jess is resolved. Throughout the course of their interaction, he tries different tactics, different appeals (access, liking one another, anger, truth; in this draft he specifically asks about Mencken twice and both times she chooses to not give him a true answer. He knows it’s Mencken.)
He wants her to answer his questions (Juliana Canfield has said Jess is not the type to speak up about things but that she’s “starting to pick up on [being feisty.]” — as she mentioned in the Vulture article right after America Decides premiered.
She’s making a tough decision, but she’s still avoiding “getting into it” while also not sugar coating and saying “it’s not Mencken! Don’t worry!” She’s toeing the line—and doing a fucking professional job of it.
Part of jess’ job is give Kendall answers, especially when he pointedly asks her questions. But here we see her dodge them repeatedly, with half or vague answers or she chooses to not answer them outright (like when he asks “what exact role” was she moving on to). Again, she doesn’t want to get into it, but she’s also not going to lie. She also now does not owe him answers.
Jess is navigating this extremely tough conversation because she does care about Kendall but she’s taking care of herself. (JC said on twitter:
She’s being careful to not answer questions and she knows Kendall is starting to spiral (because she knows him really, really well.) she’s reading the room; he is not (or cannot).
So here we are—we see him inquiring about whether she likes him (as he mentions he likes her three times) as a question in a long string of questions as he spirals and tries desperately to hang on to, as Jeremy Strong said, his “safe space” that he’s found with her. He’s doomed to lose her as his fights this mortal wound.
We also see her cite the “hard time” as something of a general reason for her moving on. Because her answer to “do you like me” is YES, but she knows she can’t say that now. If she does, he’ll use it as a way to try to convince her, to draw out this awful conversation minutes before his father’s funeral.
And he collapses into himself, throws his shades on to hide his emotions and lashes out at her for doing exactly what he asked her to that morning, which was tell him what the meeting was about 😩.
Also, don’t mind the highlights. They’re for research purposes only 🤭
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Oh no not another Spike and Faye analysis.
I drove myself insane for months trying to figure out Spike’s ridiculously cryptic speech about his eyes to Faye in RFB. Why the hell of all things was this the thing he needed to so desperately tell her? My partner who loves the show and who is less emotionally involved than me completely deciphered it in a matter of seconds.
Essentially what they said:
“Spike isn’t a straight forward person who can admit his feelings. What a better way to indirectly compare these two women than to have one be the present and one be the past. Julia is his left eye, Faye is his right eye. Julia is the dream, and Faye is reality. The dream is over, Faye is who he has now.”
That hit me like a fucking truck when they said that.
I also realized that the only two people that Spike talks to about his eyes in the show, are Julia and Faye. He tells Julia in a voice over flash back during JJ and then Faye in RFB. They’re the only two people he tells about his eyes. BOOM, symbolism.
The next thing I banged my head against a wall over was his two speeches about the woman he loves to Jet and Electra.
Jet: When you and I first met, you told me something. You told me that you had died once, that you had seen death. Why can’t you just let it go? Forget the past.
Spike: There was a woman. First time I found someone who was truly alive, or at least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I’d lost somewhere along the way. The part that I was missing, the part I had been longing for…. She’s back.
*********
Spike: When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t have the slightest fear of dying, no reason for it. I thought that if I die that’s fine with me anytime at all, but then I met a certain woman and it changed. I started to think that I wanted to survive. For the first time the fear of death began to scare me. It was on my mind. I never felt that kind of feeling almost, paralyzed.
Electra: And? Where is she now?
Spike: She… faded off somewhere. Strange you’re the first person I said this to.
Spike never says Julia’s name and it fucking haunts me. He says “I met a certain woman” or “There was a woman”. It felt on purpose that he’s being vague. Why not just say her name? Come on dude you spent a two parter episode arc looking for her. You were very open about what she means to you. Jet of all people knows who you’re talking about!! Why don’t yah just, SAY THAT IT WAS JULIA????
It’s because it wouldn’t be the whole truth.
I’ve read some very convincing essays about how these speeches are about Faye, but that doesn’t feel quite right either.
This is where I connected the symbolism of the eyes, to what he has to say about the woman he loves.
If Spikes eyes are showing him patches of reality, then his speeches are mixed parts of the truth of what he’s feeling. He feels for both women. They both affect him deeply in this way. They are both a part of him. Just like his eyeballs.
Another hang up I had, was how the descriptions of the woman’s actions and past tense language did seem to fit Julia. Why do the speeches seem to outwardly point to Julia and inwardly point to Faye?
Why throw us off like that?
I believe it’s because he doesn’t have to face reality with Julia. What’s done, is done. It’s the past. If he outwardly admits his affections for Faye then that indicates he’s going to begin to do some thing about it. He’s not there yet. The past is easier to control and therefor easier to talk about. The present and future are the unknowns. (Which is why he is dumb ass kid on the play ground level mean to her and keeps her at a distance. He doesn’t know how to handle Faye.) He’s not quite sure he even has a future. And yet, by being vague he gets the satisfaction of catharsis. He can finally say out loud how he feels about Faye. It’s all so tragically high school.
I’m probably going to revise this essay later, but for now I needed to brain dump it into the world. In the meantime I need a glass of wine and a life.
#faye valentine#spikespiegel#cowboy bebop#see you space cowboy#spike x faye#evenmytherapisttoldmeineedanewhyperfixation
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Hello sweet and talented girl!!!! A major congrats to you for 500 followers 🥳 I was hoping to request #43 of the handholding prompt because it’s sweet and wholesome. Something gentle that Hotchniss would def do even absentmindedly. Proud of you, babe!! 💜
Ohh thank you bestie <3 that means so much!!
I hope you enjoy this! This got...hella fluffy!!
43: raising the other’s hand to their lips to kiss it softly
Details on how to submit a prompt can be found here, along with a list of ones that have already been requested
-x-
Words: 950
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Everyone warned her. Soft smiles on their faces as they told her to try to enjoy it, that the day would pass by what would feel like seconds. She hadn’t believed them, simply nodding in response as she thought about her wedding day, nervous anticipation bubbling in her stomach.
They’d, of course, all been correct.
The day had passed Emily by in a blur. Seconds melting into minutes into hours, the memory of walking down the aisle in Dave’s backyard towards Aaron was slightly hazy already. The look on his face as he saw her for the first time, his eyes on the dress she’d teased him about for weeks, forever burned into her mind, something she could see if she closed her eyes. It was everything she’d secretly dreamed it would be and more.
It was evening now, lights strung around Dave’s backyard illuminating the space. It reminded her of JJ’s wedding, of the choice she’d made to stay.
Something she’d done almost entirely because of the man sitting next to her.
A tiny part of her had been tempted to take Clyde’s offer, to start again somewhere else, but she couldn’t do it. Her relationship with Aaron had been relatively new at the time, only a couple of months old when she walked into the bank to save Will with little regard for her own safety. It was when she thought she might die that she realised she had to stay. Her overriding thought at that moment was that she’d never told Aaron she loved him. Which she did the second she was outside again, wrapped up in his arms as she whispers the words against his neck, revealing their relationship to the team at the same time.
She’d found her solid ground. A family in Aaron and Jack amongst the ruins of her old life, the very thing she was once so convinced she’d never be able to rebuild.
“Are you ok, sweetheart?”
She tilts her head to look at him. Her husband. He’s sitting right next to her, their chairs pulled together as close as humanly possible as they watched everyone else dance and have fun. Aaron has one hand on her shoulder, holding her close, and the other wrapped up in hers on her lap. She smiles, leaning in closer to press a quick kiss to his lips.
“I’m ok,” she says, pausing to kiss him again, “Just a little tired.”
Aaron smiles at her, his joy undeniable as he kisses the side of her head, “It has been a long day. Want to go soon? We’re the bride and groom we can do what we want.”
Emily chuckles at him, biting her lower lip in a futile attempt to stop her smile from spreading too far, her cheeks aching with it. She shakes her head before pressing it into his shoulder, her gaze falling back on their family and friends.
“Not yet, I want to stay.”
Aaron nods in agreement and follows her gaze out towards the small crowd on the makeshift dancefloor. His smile widens at the sight of Jack dancing with Elizabeth, standing on her feet as she laughs, guiding him around.
“I can’t believe she’s letting him dance on her shoes,” Emily murmurs, having spotted what he had, “She loves him.”
“She loves you too,” he says in response, having heard what she hadn’t said. She squeezes his hand slightly tighter, finding comfort in the feel of his wedding ring against her skin.
“She wasn’t as bad today as I thought she’d be,” she replies, offering him a half smile, “She only complained about the venue once.”
He chuckles, “She also took Dave’s speech in her stride. Or at least she pretended to.”
Emily groans at the memory of it, turning to press her forehead into his shoulder, the material of his suit jacket scratching at her skin.
“I cannot believe he told everyone we hooked up in his home office.”
“He didn’t say it in so many words,” he replies, cupping the back of her head, his fingers curling into her hair as he leans down to kiss her hairline.
“He didn’t have to,” she grumbles before she pulls back, her eyebrow raised as she looks up at him, “The implication was enough.”
“You’re already thinking of revenge, aren’t you?” He asks, knowing his wife well enough to understand how her brain works.
“Oh absolutely. I’m signing him up for-”
“Come on, lovebirds,” Dave yells over to them, cutting over her and drawing their attention away from each other for the first time since after his speech. Emily looks up and realises everyone is looking over at them, and she feels strangely embarrassed, “You have the rest of your lives to stare at each other like that, come dance.”
“Fucking Dave,” Emily mutters under her breath, and Aaron laughs, shaking his head at her. She stands up, straightening out the material of her dress, and she turns to him, offering him her hand, “Can I have this dance, Mr Hotchner?”
He smiles at her, his dimples making her stomach flip in a way that makes her want to say screw it and leave right now. Drag him to the very expensive hotel room she’d paid for and forget everything else except him existed. He takes her hand in his and kisses her knuckles, making the effort to kiss her wedding rings too, the two rings nestled together on her finger. He stands up, linking their fingers together as he kisses her. They both ignore the playful complaining from their friends and family as he holds her a little closer. When he pulls away he rests his forehead against hers.
“Lead the way, Mrs Hotchner.”
-x-
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#hotchniss#hotchniss fanfiction#hotchniss fanfic#emily prentiss fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#aaron x emily
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Fallout New Vegas Live-Blog Part 4
I went on a killing spree against all the Fiends. I murdered every single member including the ones inside Vault 3.
I tried to take a cool picture on Fiend Leader Motor-Runner's chair but for some reason the player sits like this 😂😭
I stuck to my word and burned Cook-Cook alive. Before that I blew up his precious Brahmn named Queenie with a Plasma Mine. It was really satisfying seeing him lose it and kill his companions.
I also turned in all the Fiend Leader's bounties to the NCR at Camp McCarran, freed those held captive in Vault 3 and helped retrieve Ranger Morales' corpse.
I got a lot of interesting intel from a handsome ghoul at Freeside named Rotface.
I worked on Quests for the Khans like saving Anders from the Legion and delivering drugs to Vault 3.
I then killed all the Khans. I killed them despite the fact they agreed to help me fight against Ceaser and that they idolized me.
In game the only way to kill them is through a bloody massacre but for my Courier I'm rewriting it a bit. Killing the Khans the same way she killed the Fiends doesn't make sense for her character.
Since she really got to know the Khans beforehand (even Papa Khan tells her she had the makings to become one of them). I imagine she poisons them all. Her Science Skill is high so she'd easily know how to do it. Her Speech Skill is also super high so she'd be able to talk around and stop anyone from finding out. She was also idolized so if anyone saw her messing with something (helping with dinner, cooking drugs etc.) no one would find it suspicious.
She really wanted to let the Khans live, but after speaking with Yes Man she started to doubt her decision. His opinion is EXTREMELY important to her. To an unhealthy degree.
While fighting the Fiends she starts to wonder. After the fight with Ceaser even if the Khans do leave will their drugs? How long until the Khans grow in size before their drugs begin to get trafficked into her New Vegas?
So I picture her visiting the Khans by herself after she kills all the Fiends with Lily and ED-E. The Khans are very vulnerable right now since they're distracted after losing their biggest buyer (The Fiends). She tries to subtly engage the idea of them no longer selling drugs and finding other means to support themselves. However from their reaction it's clear that will never happen. So she goes through with her plan.
She kills them all in one sweep.
During it I imagine she's eating dinner with Regis, Diane, Jack, Melissa and Papa Khan. The poison kicks in and she'd take the antidote in front of them. Apologizing and explaining her reasoning. Jack would be too focused trying to help Diane. While Regis, Melissa and Papa Khan try to attack her but it's too late.
Despite being poisoned around the same time Papa Khan would die last. It's almost fitting. Him desperately fighting to survive like his people always have.
By the time she'd leave Papa Khan's home all other Khans have succumbed to the poison. It was merciful! I had no other choice! She'd try to convince herself.
When she reports to Yes Man hearing his praise is like a god sent.
It's almost enough to clear her conscious . . . almost.
akdf;k I actually picture this conversation between her and Yes Man happening inside the Presidential Suite in The Tops that Benny gave her before she killed him.
I can imagine after Yes Man says this she just giving him a big silent hug. It's the first time she's ever done something affectionate like this so he's like ?? but reciprocates. Yes Man would probably make a remark about it (not sure exactly what). Afterward she pulls away and acts completely fine. Trying to pretend that didn't happen because she's embarrassed. From there she'd go back to normal. Changing the topic and trying to figure out what she should do next.
Also I think it's REALLY funny my Pit Boy says the Great Khans view me as a Wild Child but no is actually left to view me that way.
I'm going to do the Old World Blues DLC next. When she discovers the satellite at Mojave Drive-in projecting onto the theater's screen and gets abducted I like to think during that time she's going to feels like this is divine punishment for what she did.
Part 1-3 Below:
Part One:
https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/738944610851864576/i-spent-a-majority-of-my-time-exploring-the-top?source=share
Part Two:
https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/739188768511229952/finally-leaving-the-strip-i-worked-on-a-quest?source=share
Part Three:
https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/739399214287749120/fallout-new-vegas-live-blog-i-was-looking-at-a?source=share
#I want to learn more about his Yes Man’s character before even trying to think of dialogue for him.#I can’t wait to read a bunch of Analysis posts about his character when I finally finish the game!!!#Fallout New Vegas Spoiler#MadisonPlaysFalloutNewVegas#Long Post#Long Text
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Flufftober 6 - The Bubble
Dieter Bravo x reader
No one really took the actor seriously when he survived his overdose and said that he saw the future.
This future included what he had first taken for an angel, before realizing that this was the woman of his life, the one who would make him truly happy and who would allow him to stop doing bullshit.
Dieter Bravo, however, seemed to really believe what he was saying.
Not only did he start looking everywhere for the woman he had seen in his dream, but he also stopped drinking and took drugs less and less.
That didn't stop him from acting weird, proving once and for all that his attitude had nothing to do with his bad habits.
He was just weird, and now he was looking for a ghost.
Several women tried their luck. Even though he wasn't perfect, he was still rich, famous, and quite a handsome guy. Trying to use this new fad to their advantage, his agent even decided to organize a kind of contest, so that he meets the one who had saved him, metaphorically speaking.
A filmed contest, of course.
But Dieter immediately refused.
"I don't understand. Don't you want to meet this girl ?"
"Indeed, you don't seem to understand !" the actor got angry. "I'm very serious, I had a vision of my future. Of my destiny. I'm not going to choose a pretty girl at random from lots of pretty girls, because it's simple and fun. I want to meet the one I I saw."
"Maybe she will be there."
"She's different from the others. She won't be here. I have to fight to find her. I have to rise to the occasion, travel the world, and have the chance to cross her path."
"Are you sure you don't want to try the contest ? You can choose no girl at the end, and explain what you're looking for on camera, so your special girl recognizes herself."
This didn't seem to convince Dieter, who agreed to enter the contest anyway, as it was stated somewhere in his contract that he had no choice.
There was a lot of betting during the few weeks that the show lasted, people were convinced that he was going to sleep with everyone, drink, smoke, and go back to how he was.
But no.
Dieter Bravo was a new man now, with a purpose.
After he said goodbye to his suitors, he quickly turned to the camera, taking out of his pocket the text he had prepared for a long time.
"My love. You don't know yet that we were meant to be together, but heaven sent me a sign, the sight of your sweet face, the sound of your laughter, the shine of your smile, and I won't stop looking for you, even if it must take me all my life. As soon as I find you, I will know. I will come to you, and I hope that you will be as happy to meet me as I was to finally see you. I will understand that you're scared, it's a bit strange and I have a pretty complicated past, but please, give me a chance."
Although there were still a few sceptics who thought he was acting for attention, his speech moved the rest of the viewers, who all wanted him to finally meet the one he was looking for.
Many hoped to be the woman in question, and many came to him with this secret hope. All were very disappointed after being gently rejected.
It ended up getting boring.
"Maybe it's time you accepted that you had a bad trip, just a dream when you were going to die, and that this woman doesn't exist." his agent told him after more than a year of research.
"She's real ! She's out there and I have to find her !"
"You're crazy, Dieter. It was kind of funny at first, your popularity had never been so high, but if you don't find it quickly, people will think it's a waste of time. "
"But I don't care what people think !"
As he stood up to leave the restaurant table, Dieter slammed into someone, nearly knocking them over. It was only with a good reflex that he grabbed their arm, holding them close.
"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."
"No, it's me, I..." he began before looking at the person standing in front of him.
A young woman. Who looked at him with a shy smile, and a slightly lost look, obviously not knowing who he was and why he was staring at her like that.
But he knew her.
"You ! It's you ! I've been looking for you for months !"
"... What ?"
"It's her ?" asked his agent, rushing towards them. "Her ? But she's not..."
"Oh, shut up. You're not supposed to be here, you're ruining this moment. Come on."
Without waiting for her answer, Dieter took the hand of the woman of his dreams to lead her outside, in the street, towards the park, far from the crowd. It could have looked like a kidnapping, and he would have understood her screaming and hitting him with her bag, but she seemed curious to see what he was going to do.
She was not risking much, in the middle of the park, surrounded by several joggers, mothers with their strollers, and little old people sitting on benches feeding the pigeons.
"So, I was saying... It's hard to explain everything, it would have been for you to know a little bit, but anyway. Over a year ago, I almost died, and I saw a woman's face. I knew right away that I had to find that woman, and that she would be the love of my life. And that's you. That's it. I love you."
"... That's a bit fast, isn't it ?"
"For you, no doubt. But as I just explained, I've loved you for over a year."
"You don't even know my name."
"Oh, what an idiot ! I'm Dieter Bravo, how about you ?"
He didn't understand why, but it made her laugh.
Dieter might have been offended if he hadn't dreamed of that laugh for so many months. It was a real pleasure to hear it in person.
"You are weird."
"People often tell me this."
"I can imagine. I'm Y/N. And you can't be in love with me."
"Y/N. Lovely Y/N, I can buy you a drink and if you let me, I'll do anything to prove to you that I love you, and to deserve that you love me too."
Of course, Y/N hesitated for a moment. But she at least accepted the coffee, and they would see about the rest, later.
That was enough for Dieter, who already knew they would never be apart again.
#the bubble#the bubble netflix#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x reader#dieter bravo imagine#dieter bravo fanfiction#flufftober 2022
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Wait but I want to hear more about Orsino being fay and how the adaptations erase that though 👀 If you don’t mind of course!
I will take any opportunity to talk about gay shakespeare! Thank you for asking!
Note: I usually refer to Viola/Cesario with they/them pronouns. Although they are most likely meant to be interpreted as a cis woman, part of the beauty of the character is that they can also easily be interpreted as nearly any stripe of trans*, so I choose to refer to them this way to emphasize that ambiguity.
So for a bit of background: Twelfth Night is probably Shakespeare's queerest play. The title itself refers to a long-standing tradition of anything-goes revelry at the end of the Christmas season. The play itself never mentions this tradition, so we can assume it is so titled because of its thematic concern with chaos and ambiguity. Beyond Orsino, the play is rich with queer coding (and I do feel comfortable calling it coding, given that Shakespeare was very likely bisexual himself), which is frequently get erased or played down in adaptations. Orsino is just one fragment of the larger story of this play and how society has interpreted it.
Now my research is limited and a few years old, but to my knowledge, scholars still debate whether Orsino was ever actually "in love" with Olivia. I'd like to point to his "hart" speech in Act 1, Scene 1. The play literally opens with Orsino saying:
"If music be the food of love, play on. / Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting / the appetite may sicken and so die."
So he's trying to so overwhelm himself with romantic imagery that he gets sick of it and moves on from Olivia. That's a pretty unusual way to talk about a woman you're saying you want to marry! Throughout the speech, there's this weirdly dark undertone. Every word or phrase that seems loving is immediately followed and contrasted by imagery that evokes not just death, but violence. Notice also how he talks about his first meeting with Olivia:
"That instant was I turned into a hart / and my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, / e'er since pursue me."
"Hart" is obviously a pun on the word "heart," but the more important thing here is that it's an old-fashioned term for a stag. He's talking about his pursuit of Olivia as a hunt, but positioning himself as the one being hunted. This use of metaphor suggests, also, that if Orsino allows the pursuit to end - i.e., actually marries Olivia - he will die.
The headline is that, IMO, this speech makes much more sense to me from the perspective of Orsino being gay than him being straight. If he's straight, we have to question why he's talking about this in such melodramatic terms, and why he seems to be having to convince himself to want Olivia. If he's gay, though - especially if even he doesn't realize it yet - then it makes sense for him to both be invested in creating a heterosexual relationship, while also seeming to resent the idea, and worrying that marriage will cause him to lose some important facet of his identity.
That being said, all we can really glean directly from this speech is that Orsino intends to marry Olivia, but doesn't really love her. The opening image of the play is that of a man struggling to process his complex feelings about the institution of heterosexual marriage. There's an ambiguous queerness to that which I believe is intended to set the tone and focus the audience's attention.
Now, I could talk pretty extensively about Orsino's interactions with Viola/Cesario throughout the play. Thing is, whether or not Orsino knew about V/C's crossdressing is very ambiguous, and it's commonly argued that he was aware of the whole situation from the start - which would mean that his flirting with V/C would be evidence of heterosexuality. I don't agree with this interpretation personally, but it is a valid one based on the textual evidence.
The really important thing when it comes to Orsino's sexuality & attraction to Viola/Cesario comes in his final speech, which also happens to be the ending speech of the play. Basically as soon as V/C reveals themselves as a secret crossdresser, Orsino proposes to them. The scene moves on to wrap up subplots, and then, in the final words of the entire play, Orsino tells V/C:
"We will not part from hence. Cesario, come - / for so you shall be while you are a man / But when in other habits you are seen, / Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen."
In short, he's declaring that, so long as Cesario continues to present as Cesario, he will refer to them as Cesario - and when they present as a woman, he'll refer to them as Viola. Basically, Orsino has stumbled into a winning play - he can continue to view his spouse as a man, while also reaping the political benefits of having a wife.
It's also important that V/C themselves has no say in this and never gets the chance to respond, since the play ends shortly after. Many readers - rightly - interpret V/C as genderqueer in part because the play ends with an affirmation of their identity as Cesario. But it's Orsino who affirms this, and feminist scholars have sometimes interpreted that affirmation as a method by which he speaks for and controls V/C. These scholars rarely question why a heterosexual man would wish his wife to dress and present as a man. Maybe Orsino is talking over V/C here, but if so, that doesn't erase the fact he'd clearly rather be attracted to Cesario than Viola.
Another small thing I want to mention about the ending is that we don't see the wedding. That might not seem significant, unless you're very familiar with Renaissance plays. At that time, comedies were expected to end with marriage. You see this in a lot of other Shakespeare comedies, like Much Ado or As You Like It. No matter how tangled - or queer - the situations get, a marriage symbolized the end of that chaos. Sorta like the Hays Code about how gay people can't get happy endings, this trope could be used as a tool of both portrayal and erasure.
Twelfth Night, though, ends with the promise of marriage, technically fulfilling the trope; but in direct defiance of genre convention, we don't see the wedding and as a result, the chaos doesn't actually end. Viola/Cesario ends the play as Cesario - compare that to As You Like It, where the crossdressing female lead, Rosalind, ends the play in a wedding dress. Symbolically, the lack of wedding is a rejection of heteronormativity and further emphasizes how queer V/C and Orsino's relationship is.
Generally, adaptations don't focus much on Orsino. That's fair, because all of the other leads hold up as characters much better than him in the 21st century. But the result is that the ambiguities of his sexuality are usually ignored (in full-text adaptations, like the 1996 film with Helena Bonham-Carter) or taken out of the story entirely (in rewritten adaptations, like She's the Man).
Adaptations also usually ignore that crucial lack of a wedding at the end of the play. In the 1996 film, the wedding is explicitly portrayed, and Viola/Cesario ends the story as Viola. She's the Man does something very similar: Viola finally gives in to her mother's demands to become a debutante, and the film literally ends with a parade of heterosexual pairings in gender-conforming dress. I'm not criticizing these films, because these are logical conclusions to their stories. But these endings are a pretty direct pair of middle fingers to the ambiguity and queerness the original play so cherished.
All in all, it's a gayass play, and Orsino is really just the tip of the iceberg. There's Antonio and Sebastian's thing, the possibility of Olivia's queerness, Viola/Cesario's gender... Viola/Cesario's sexuality... the fact that the villain of the play is literally a sexually repressed Puritan... and probably more. If you're interested, I strongly recommend you check out some published queer scholarship on the subject.
Quotes are from the Folger Shakespeare: https://www.folger.edu/explore/shakespeares-works/twelfth-night/read/
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Monster Replays the Truthful Route: Part 4
Sorry for the delay, folks!
Warning: You know the deal. Digimon Survive spoilers under the cut.
While working on this part, the draft accidentally got deleted. So, I'm only gonna give a few of my thoughts on the beginning part, then skip right to the exploration part of the amusement park.
I think this game really hits us with the fact that the villains are not indispensable. As Piedmon says, if Arukenimon fails, there is sure to be another one to take her place. And if Piedmon doesn't already convince you in Part 4, just wait until he brutally murders her in Part 7.
Takuma and co. are understandably scared. Sure, Ryo might have survived, but are they really sure they can survive next time? Can they ever get out of this world. If so, can they get out of this world alive? We all know they do because this is the Truthful route, and nobody dies in the Truthful route, but at this point of the story, the Survive gang isn't so sure.
Takuma: Kaito, we have to stick together! You can't go off on your own!
Kaito: stfu
Dracmon: I agree with Takuma!
Kaito: Hmmm, if my little vampire gremlin agrees with you, then you must have a point.
Well, unless you choose the bad ending.
Kunemon (≧◡≦)
Finding Miu!
I really enjoy Ryo's dynamic with Minoru.
Patamon, Palmon, and Biyomon are so stupid! I love them!
BREAKING NEWS: Angry Mean Big Human Beats Up Guards!
The Queen: "Oh, brother. I've never been so embarrassed!"
Okay, that's all I'm gonna bother remembering. Let's get back to Finding Miu!
Dracmon: GRROOOAAARRR! I'm gonna eat you!
Falcomon: All of you... prepare to die!
I love Ryo's speech to Kunemon before he evolves to Flymon, so I'm just gonna share the screenshots of it (warning for poor quality, though).
While making this post, my phone died A-FUCKING-GAIN, so I lost a good chunk of it. Then, while trying to remember what the hell I typed down, I accidentally closed out of Tumblr. So if there are any weird skips, I apologize.
Kaito: I'm... I'm all she has. So I have to look out for her.
After playing the Harmony route, this line especially hits hard.
Something I just noticed: All of the servants names start with P (yeah, I know that in English it's Biyomon with a B, but they're also called Piyomon in Japan, so...).
Minoru: I'm saying if we stand around here talking for too long those pesky little things will-
Palmon: Looking for us?
They're in the four-shadow! Like the one they were talking about earlier!
OMGZORZ, can you believe that they made Goth TK an actual, CANON character in Digimon Survive?
A touching reunion, indeed. *wipes tear from eye*
If I'm being honest, I'd also be annoyed if my older brother crashed my throne room.
She looks so annoyed XD
Of course it's Ryo that says this.
Makes sense, given how MarineAngemon helped carry my first few playthroughs.
Kaito: I just worry about her, that's all.
Saki: Well, sometimes it can feel suffocating being on the other side of that.
This honestly makes me wonder about Saki's family. From what I can tell from her Prologue story, her parents (or at least her mother) seem to be massive worrywarts. Though given Saki's illness, it's understandable.
KAITO YOU IDIOT, STOP PUNCHING THE WALL!
It's the Old 'Mon himself!
I can understand why Minoru and Shuuji are suspicious of Jijimon. After all, the last time they found an adult they thought they could trust, she turned out to be a weird spider lady that wanted to sacrifice them.
But seriously, Jijimon is a sweetheart. <3
Ryo: This sucks. These guys are such bad news. I can't believe we're taking them on again.
Kunemon...
Ryo: Yeah, I know.
Ryo: I don't want Miu to have to go through what I experienced yesterday.
Kunemon: Kew!
Ryo: Heh! Yeah... you're right. We've just gotta do this!
Shuuji's affinity dialogue rubs me the wrong way. Though I guess that's because of the localization.
Okay, I'm just gonna say it here and now: Miu's more of a Digimon Kaiser-equivelent than the hypothetical Ken-equivelent ever will be.
Kaito, did you seriously punch GARURUMON!?
I love the pre-Shellmon scene as well. Unfortunately, I hit the photo limit, so I'm gonna have to copy the dialogue from scratch.
Miu: Oh no! Kaito!
Syakomon: So, you ARE worried about what happens to him?
Miu: Of course I am! He's my brother!
Miu: I just don't like him being overprotective, and I hate how he never gives me any space.
Miu: When he gets like that, it reminds me of... things I really don't want to remember.
Syakomon: And that's why you were so mean to him?
Miu: Yeah, but he's still my brother.
Miu: Only after I can't do anything...
[Insert Patamon and Biyomon getting their asses kicked by Garurumon here]
Miu: Oh no! They're all hurt again!
Miu: Syakomon, tell me, what should I do?
Miu: They're all fighting for me like I'm really their queen, but...
Miu: I haven't done anything for them!
Syakomon: Miu... what do you want to do?
Miu: I... I don't want to let anyone... To let my brother die...
Miu: I don't want to lose everyone after lying to them, or my brother after fighting with him!
Miu: I want to protect everyone else for a change!
Miu: Syakomon, please! Save Kaito!
Syakomon: Oh, I'm so happy you said that! Finally, you were able to be honest with how you feel.
Miu: Syakomon!?
Syakomon: I've been waiting this whole time for you to be honest with me.
Syakomon: Because when you wish for something with your whole heart, I can be as strong as you need!
Miu: What!? Syakomon, what's happening!?
Syakomon: Miu, I'm here to make your wishes come true! So for your sake, I'll grow strong!
Syakomon, evolve tooo...!
[Insert evolution into Shellmon here]
Easily one of my favorite scenes in the whole game.
Anyways, I evolved her straight to Azulongmon and oneshotted Garurumon.
I love the music that plays when the Survive gang learn that there's a way to go back to the Human World via the boundary.
Jijimon: Many times I have witnessed the strong bond between my friend and their human child.
Jijimon: Though it was long ago, and my memories have fades. Yet had that child been sacrificed...
Jijimon: My friend would not have fared well. Those who share such strong bonds share the same fate.
Jijimon: Yet my friend still lives. This in itself is proof that the child is alive somewhere.
The scene between Takuma, Agumon, Kaito and Dracmon is really sweet.
Dracmon: What's this? Kaito being open and honest about how he feels for once? No way!
Pffft XD
And that concludes Part 4. For how much of a pain in the ass this post was to make, I still really enjoyed this part (though that might be because it focuses on two of my favorite characters, Ryo and Miu). Miu learned her lesson, and boy, I sure learned mine...
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Songs by The Smiths that remind me of Steve Harrington
This is mostly angst (if you don't like that content please just leave this post), so let's start
How Soon Is Now?
Even though "How Soon Is Now?" doesn't have many lyrics and only has around four different paragraphs, the lyrics itself remind me of Steve; imagine that the party is making a list of songs to use in case Vecna curses them; it's Steve's turn to decide the song that could save him. Everyone expects to be something from Madonna or The Beatles but it is "How Soon Is Now?" nobody understands why until Robin reads the lyrics.
"There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die"
Pretty Girls Make Graves
This song's message is not literal, not the full song applies to Steve's situation with Nancy (Especially since Steve is the one who wanted to take matters into the bed and Nancy was hesitant and uninterested at first)
Regardless, some parts remind me of how they broke up:
"Then, on the sand
Another man, he takes her hand
A smile lights up her stupid face
(And well, it would)"
And the verse "I'm not the man you think I am" could be Steve trying to convince himself he changed to convince others he changed.
I Know It’s Over
This- this is post-breakup Steve and all his desperate attempts to get a girlfriend, just look at this:
"I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart, it was so real
And you even spoke to me and said:
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know...
" 'Cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms...
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to
be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over"
Never Had No One Ever
I remember some said that the "six little nuggets" speech wasn't that wholesome since it represents Steve's wish to never be alone again and get unconditional love; therefore Never Had No One Ever could represent this fear: the fear of dying alone.
"When you walk without ease
On these streets where you were raised
I had a really bad dream
It lasted 20 years, 7 months, and 27 days
And I know alone that I never, ever oh
Had no one ever"
Steddie content below ma mates, please don't read if you don't like it, and stay respectful :)
Angst
Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
Scenario: It's Eddie's death anniversary, Steve visits his grave and apologizes for not being able to save him; he tells Eddie how much the kids need him (especially Dustin) and he wishes he could come back. That night he plays Strangeways, Here We Come, then the songs start playing and he breaks down.
"Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
So, tell me how long
Before the last one?
And tell me how long
Before the right one?
The story is old - I know
But it goes on"
The Boy With the Thorn in His Side
Steve's parents finally show up just to make his life a living hell since they don't approve of his sexuality (much less the fact that Steve is in love with a guy who was accused of murder)
"The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies
A murderous desire for love"
"How can they look into my eyes
And still they don't believe me?
How can they hear me say those words
And still they don't believe me?"
"And after all this time
They don't want to believe us
And if they don't believe us now
Will they ever believe us?"
Hurt/comfort
What She Said
Okay okay okay, imagine Eddie getting into Steve's music taste just to have more in common, he finds Steve's collection of The Smiths, and a song, in particular, catches his attention: it's "What She Said" Once he hears it he can't stop matching the lyrics to his poor boyfriend.
"What she said was sad
But then, all the rejection she's had
To pretend to be happy
Could only be idiocy"
"What she said was not for the job or
Lover that she never has"
"What she said:
"I smoke 'cause I'm hoping for an early death
And I need to cling to something!""
(Eddie knows that the lyrics "It took a tattooed boy from Birkenhead to really, really open her eyes" probably talk about someone who hurt the girl the song's about; but he likes to think he will be the tattooed boy who will make Steve open his eyes and see himself with love for once)
Fluff
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out
The whole song screams steddie to me- I imagine Steve hanging out with Eddie after a horrible fight with his parents; Eddie doesn't just comfort Steve but he tells him that Wayne and he are planning to leave Hawkins since living there is such a risk, this leads to the question "Would you like to come with us? Just the three of us?" and Steve starts crying while nodding happily.
You have to listen to the whole song but here's my favorite part
"Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never, never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, la-di-dum
Oh, I haven't got one
Oh, oh"
I JUST WANT STEVE RUNNING AWAY WITH EDDIE WHILE THIS SONG PLAYS AND STEVE TELLS EDDIE HE MAKES HIM FEEL AT HOME DON'T @ ME
#steddie#stranger things#stranger things angst#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie angst#steddue fuff#stranger things 4#SoundCloud#Spotify
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infodump time: dom casmurro is a classical brazilian literature book from 100 years ago about an old man recounting his life and explaining how he became to be known as Dom Casmurro (the equivalent of "Lord/Sir Taciturn" he says, but can also be read as "Lord Bitchy". the narrator's conclusion that his wife cheated on him with his best friend is very controversial and has been subject of discussion for decades.
a really long resume of the story: the narrator tells us he was a very shy weak boy who found out he was in love with his best friend capitu and she was also in love with him the same day he found out he had to become a priest to fullfill a promise his mother made to God in order to save his life when he was a lil sick baby. Capitu and bento plot together to convince bento's mother that a future where bento is a lawyer and capitu is his wife is what she actually wants. however it is only when besto's new best friend from priest school escobar gets told about the situation that the 3 of them find a way out of the promise, and bento and capitu get married and live happily ever after. in a cruise accident, escobar dies, capitu cries a little too much and bento realizes his son looks exactly like escobar. he becomes a worse and worse person with the realization until they break things off under the rug and he pays for capitu and son to live in europe far away from him. Capitu had said she couldn't stand bento's sick jealousy any longer, that not even the dead were safe from his delusions, and that she felt she owned him nothing. bento said nothing. Even so, she always writes him.
capitu dies and their son has to come back to brazil to live with him now, and bento, very taciturn now describes to us the horro of seeing his old mate escobar calling him father and kissing his face and hands. he starts to wish that boy dies. the boy travels with friends and he does die. bento is upset he had to pay for the funeral.
after this he no longer has any lasting human connection with anyone and can't forget capitu, and he wonders if she was always deceiving him or if she was innocent like he thought she was at the start and then something happened that turned her into the other corrupt version. he says, however he doesn't believe this was the case, anf if you, reader, remember capitu as a little girl and capitu the woman you will agree that one was already inside the other "like the fruit within its rind"
and ok that sucks ig but then decades lates a translator pointed out that the motif of othello and bento going to watch othello and laughing/crying when desdemona is murdered even though she's innocent and bento himself points this out was a clue that bento was lying the whole time and that capitu was innocent, and once you consider this possibility, once you read the book with the innocence of capitu in mind, everything still fits as perfectly as it did the other way around, even his fits of jealousy and his violent urges that he almost acted out at some point, fit with her speech of him being dominating jealous and perhaps mentally ill. capitu sending him letters is no longer her trying to get him to forgive her because she needs his money but because she does love him, you notice nobody else describes bento's son as not looking like him and you even notice the detail of capitu looking like bento's mother's bestie even though they weren't related, and now you have these two versions of this story that both fit perfectly. but then you remember capitu disliked escobar at first and that the priest would tell bento and escobar to stop hugging and being close in public and that bento only turned against capitu for real (had had jealousy fits over hearing that she might have been looking for boyfriends when he wasn't around but when she told him it wasn't true he believed her and apologized for being such a jerk) when he thought she had an affair with the perfect escobar who he liked to show off to his family (unlike capitu), then you wonder if he was actually upset because he loved escobar and not capitu. and then you have to consider that with capitu being a poor woman (idk if this is just everyone's imagination but everyone portrays her as being close to dark skinned with bento as white) is it even fair to judge a woman IF she felt she had to marry her rich best friend and give him an heir as to not fall prey of poverty (there's a whole ass character described by bento as basically a leech who spent his entire life trying to make himself useful to bento's family without making any of them upset out of fear of being thrown out of their house and back into poverty [btw this is the closest to an author self insert this book has] that bento pretends to dislike by nature of him being a leech and needing them to live but finally confesses, after describing the character's death, that he cried for him and he considered him family and doesn't know why he was denying that he did. If you expand this to capitu as well, bento's rich white guy point of view does not allow him to confess he might have been wrong about capitu cheating or even that it would be understandable if she cheated, because unlike the previously mentioned character, she constantly excelled above him in everything and he can't help but demonize this, so her death gets nothing out of him even though the whole book is about her.
also the finale, "if you, reader, remember capitu as a little girl and capitu the woman you will agree that one was already inside the other like the fruit within its rind" fits him perfectly because he claims he only turned into dom casmurro after capitu cheated on him but he has always been like this so like. good book for you to yell at people over what really happened for the next 100 years.
tl dr: book dude claims his wife cheated on him but he is very sus so we don't quite know if that's true, let's fight over this forever.
read this absolutely enraptured and now eating it with my bare hands this fuck
anyway she totally didnt do shit wrong this sounds like a repressed bi man with paranoia issues who is attracted to his own son and its freaking him out (correctly so)
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For The Terror asks, would you please do Arctic, Captain, the C, and/or Erebus?
Finally getting around to the Terror Asks. It's been a week, lads.
arctic: how would you cope on a Victorian ship?
I am prone to motion sickness, so that immediately puts me at a major disadvantage. I gather that one adjusts after a while, but I'd probably spend the first week wanting to die. And that's before you even get to the other modern inconveniences. In short: poorly. This has not stopped me from wanting to sign up for one of those Tall Ship programs, though. At least nowadays we have Dramamine.
captain - who’s your favourite coldboy?
Harry Goodsir, no question. In the scene at the end of "Punished, As a Boy", when you see him start to question his unthinking assumptions for what is probably the first time in his life, whilst also genuinely trying to be nice to this poor woman surrounded by stupid white men: that was the moment I said to myself, "ah yes, this one is mine."
And as luck would have it, he's also one of the cold boys whose real-life analogue is actually rather well-documented, and everything I've learned about that guy has also been tremendously endearing. His own father dragging him gently for his spelling. The fact that he calls things like microscopic crab bits "extremely beautiful". His fussing over his attempts to acquire a dog for Erebus. The fact that he seems to have been one of those people whose enthusiasm for his hyperfixations actually tows other people along with him. Delightful.
the c - do you create art or writing about the terror?
Indeed I do. Can't believe how long I've been on this bullshit, to be perfectly honest, but here we are.
erebus - what scenes are your favourite and least favourite from the show
Favorites:
"You are the worst kind of second!" Every time I've convinced someone to watch this show and they do, I know when they've hit this scene because I get some kind of message like "oh my god, fuck this Franklin guy". LOL. Just wait.
"We've come here to find a way through to China and India." Just watch this poor little muffin realize, as he's saying it, that 1. it sounded better in his head and 2. shit, this is actually ... stupid?
"Does that really work with anyone, Mr. Hickey?" Not just the sass, but also Hickey's little "eh, it's a fair cop, asshole" shrug as he walks away.
"And once it's past all hope, the mind goes unnatural with thoughts." Just a great character moment for Fitzjames and Blanky—Fitz for how he asks the question in the first place, and considers his implications (the boy is a good leader, actually), and Blanky for being, well, Blanky.
"Twenty. I have performed on twenty." Goodsir vs. Hickey. Morals vs. practicals. Class warfare. This scene has it all.
"Is God here Captain? Any God? It doesn't matter. This place is beautiful to me, even now. To see it, with eyes as a child's. There is wonder here, Captain. And her. Do you Do you think she's still alive?" Is it a day ending in Y? Then it's a day I'm thinking about this scene at least once.
Least favorite: It's not so much scenes as little things I kind of wish had been a bit different. I'd have liked Silna's father and the hunter to have had names, and to have spent some more time getting to know them. A little more breathing room for relationships between some of the characters to develop. The fact that we don't get even a bit of one of my favorite scenes in the novel, Goodsir's "how to do a cannibalism" speech. The truth is, I have remarkably little to complain about with this show.
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Hi!!! 2, 4, 10, 13, 15 (His Living Legacy), 20, 30, and 44 for the ask game if you wanna??
Hi!!!! Hell yeah I’ll do it I love this ask game
Fic writer ask game
How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?
I’m usually 80% writer, 20% reader because writing takes so much attention and time so I don’t really have time to read too many fics. I usually read outside of whatever fandom I’m in though. I read a LOT of BNHA fics
Link your three favorite fics right now.
Okay I just convinced my best friend to read this fic and now I’m gonna try my best to do the same to you. It’s called Runner and it’s a canon divergence AU of The Lego Movie where instead of Good Cop getting erased by Lord Business it was Bad Cop. THEN, after Good Cop has lived years without Bad Cop, he’s sent back a year before Taco Tuesday and has to try and fix EVERYTHING. The fic is all about trust and sacrifices and mistakes and I love it SO much. (There is one chapter where it’s heavily about self-sacrifice/suicide he doesn’t actually die but it’s very much about it)
OUGH I was scrolling through my bookmarks and I just remembered my favorite Teen Titans fic of all time: Deathstroke’s Apprentices. It’s a canon divergence au of the show where instead of being saved, Robin stays as Deathstroke’s apprentice. The fic starts like MONTHS into this situation and we watch as Robin changes slowly to cope with it all. Terra is also there and her being there is what makes it very hard for Robin to escape because he refuses to leave her alone. GOD. I love this fic so so much
I’m also gonna rec Welcome To The New Age because every single time I think about the line I go insane:
“In this moment I think I almost wish I were human again,” he mused, “So that I could experience a friendship with you.”
What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
I really like reading BNHA fics because there’s SO MANY of them and because I haven’t watched the show I have no scale of what’s in character or not and just enjoy the fics. However, there are a few characters/pairings I would KILL to have more people posting in
Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?
Okay it really depends. If it’s a long fic I’ll leave MANY notes. It’s usually scenes or moments that are important to me that I don’t want to forget. But if it’s a shorter fic…
[my notes for His Living Legacy]
Robotnik dies at the end of sonic 2. Stone holds a funeral for him with the badniks. “Those who shine the brightest often burn the fastest”. He considers giving the same speech he did a few months earlier. He makes a coffee exactly how Robotnik likes it and leaves it on his grave. Engraved it says, Ivo Robotnik. He was loved. He was the brightest of us all. He will be remembered.
Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?
I have… a hundred and fifty one posted fics… why would you do this to me
I’m glad you like His Living Legacy! I was annoyed by how few actually sad fics there were about the open ending and I love emotionally destroying my blorbos so I did lmao
But. God. What’s my favorite fic I’ve ever written…
I’ve only ever reread and edited one of my fics and that was the most honorable thing. I love that fic and especially the title since it’s a cut off quote: the most honorable thing is to keep living. It’s a fic where Maul actually gets to be happy for once in his life and I love it
What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?
I love daydreaming about fics. I love it so much.
Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.
Haha alright
Lear crossed his arms, fuming with a soul-deep anger even Red couldn’t evoke in him. This was a special sort of anger reserved only for his father.
It was made up of quiet, cutting words. Knives smaller than the eye could see. Guilt and remorse warped into weapons.
Every time he and his father met, they fought.
This was the way of the world.
Rant about something writing related.
I hate how complicated writing numbers is. Like there’s no clear indicator for when you should switch from spelling it out to just having the numbers and like. It’s so painful for me. Usually if I encounter this issue in a fic it leads to me abandoning it halfway through and it’s so annoying
#skitty asks#7 birds in a trenchcoat#I’m very tempted to go into the stobotnik tag again just to see if any new angst has been written
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 311
Optimism/Kerblam!
“Optimism”
Plot Description: Jack convinces Dean to let him help investigate a librarian whose suitors keep dying. Sam bonds with Charlie on a hunt.
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: yeah
FIRST OF ALL. That’s Jim Moriarty’s theme, and second, bold to use stayin alive for a dude who’s definitely about to die
Yeah, I guess not all stake outs are quick and exciting
Not to tell Sam how you’re supposed to use a fidget spinner but…I don’t think that’s correct
Oh both Dean and Jack have Michael trauma they’re gonna start to work out today, I see
Jack sounds so much like Dean (in spirit, not actual voice)
Man I love “replacement for how awkward Castiel used to be around people”!Jack. He’s even got his own trench coat now
Oh. Not a trench coat, tan blazer…but still.
Oh au Charlie…she had a girlfriend who died in the beginning of the angel war
You have no idea how much I want this librarian to be a monster of some sort
Did…yeah, Dean and Jack (but probably mostly Dean) planned this out. Dean coming in as a tough FBI agent and Jack following in once the librarian is a little annoyed and a little scared to save her
Oh. Calling Dean “old man” was NOT in the script lol
She’s so smitten with Jack
The thing is Myles is either the monster…….or he’s about to die. Yeah…it was the latter
So, if it’s not the overly protective coworker OR the librarian, who’s that invested in her life??
Oh Jack was the perfect person for this job. He doesn’t even know what “putting the moves on” someone means.
No. It’s been like 12 seasons since you last tried to out a demon by saying “christo,” you don’t get to start up again NOW
Hey costuming department? Wtf is this?
He really jumped from “I know next to nothing about romance, and that’s fine” to “Dean, you need to tell me everything about sex, now” REAL quick
He did not just call the librarian’s undead ex boyfriend Archie 💀
IT WAS DAY WHEN THEY GOT TO HER APARTMENT WHY IS IT NIGHT ALL OF A SUDDEN? They weren’t at her apartment that long. Just because it’s night for Sam and Charlie??
They’re…they’re not gonna kill Charlie twice are they? It’s one thing when it’s the boys, but she died so brutally last time. Oh good, she was just briefly knocked out
Oh. My. God. This is the best plot to a monster of the week episode. She’s still dating her necromanced boyfriend…and attracts different suitors because the boyfriend needs to feed on human flesh to keep his body mostly intact. You know, I’m not even mad at the pretty monsterfucking librarian, except for going after Jack.
She’s really putting the romance in necromancer
Awww, he’s pretty much convinced Charlie to stay ❤️
Oh poor Jack. He’s got himself a stalker now
This cough is not normal, and I’m so glad SOMEONE is finally finding that out
“Kerblam!”
Plot Description: the Doctor and her friends go undercover at the galaxy’s largest retailer, Kerblam
Man, this show really will not give up on trying to make fezes cool
Is Kerblam! Amazon for the galaxy? Great…ok, well, at least they’re 90% automated (allegedly)
This is possibly the weirdest capitalism in space episode I’ve seen. This girl’s outlook and backstory…actually everyone here is so run down and yet they’ve normalized it all
Ending an intimidating speech with “laters!” Is probably my favorite decision they’ve made this season
Why does this company/planet require 10% of the workforce to be human? Why is total automation bad?
Yeah, you don’t need to sonic everything. Sometimes you just need to tear off the head of a robot
Oh, these conveyor belts give the mail delivery system of Omashu a run for its money
Fantastic, the system running the company sent the fez with “help me” at the beginning of the episode
…the very human instinct to pop bubble wrap has been weaponized
Why is the message of this “automation of repetitive manual labor jobs bad”?
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