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#trash of the count's family

murasaki-cha · 1 day

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I did this in 30 min. Cale... Cale you are so close to winning why are you asking about the qualifications to become a god in the last update Cale!?

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #tcf novel #cale henituse #tcf fanart #tcf humor

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teriri-sayes · 3 days

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Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 286

Brief summary: Cale gets scolded by the CH and the kids to rest. Aipotu beastmen are in awe at Lock and that their god descended. GoB has gone mad because of GoC. Jungwon is hiding in the Demon Cult. Cale and Clopeh disguise as priests.

==========

The entire chapter had lots of funny moments. Especially the part when CH "scolded" Cale, and Cale who was shocked that the "gentle" CH scolded him. 🤣🤣🤣

"Cale-nim." Choi Han approached and held out a handkerchief. He looked closely and saw that it was the handkerchief Ron was carrying. For some reason, Cale had an eerie feeling. Choi Han wiped Cale's mouth with the handkerchief, then put it in Cale's hand and said, "Wouldn't it be right to say something that makes sense after stopping the bleeding first?" "…!" Cale's eyes shook even more. 'Just now-' That gentle Choi Han… 'Did he scold me?' No. I mean, Choi Han, are you saying that I said something that did not make sense? Are you telling me to wipe the blood off first before saying what I want to say?

White Snake Wisha seemed to have fallen down the Caleism hole. 😂 When Cale offered to clean up his blood that had dripped on her massive body, she even tremblingly said that she did not have the courage to wipe off Cale's blood... 🤣🤣🤣 Poor Cale was confused and wondered if she was scared of blood. 🤣🤣🤣

Meanwhile, Lock was being treated like the saint of Blue Wolf, with Wisha unconsciously speaking very politely to him. It did not help that there were numerous lines describing Lock's beautiful appearance from the perspective of the beastmen, or that the flames of the Blue Wolf was still on his shoulders. And it definitely made it worse when Lock spoke to the beastmen, saying that he heard a voice from the divine item. Saint Lock soon? 😂

Archie giving two thumbs up in support of Lock though... 🥰🥰🥰

GoD's hilarious messages continued. GoB had indeed gone mad. 🤣🤣🤣

The God of Death's divine item alternated between beeps and vibrations. "Noisy." Cale sighed heavily and turned on the mirror's screen. <Cale, Cale, do you know what it means to have the God Realm split in half?> <Wow, this is crazy. It's a breach, a breach! The scope of this mess is something that not even the ancient gods can easily surpass!> <It's chaos. Chaos!> <Kwahahahaha, the God of Balance has taken off her shoes and is now running around barefoot! Kwahahaha!> "Ignore the God of Death for now." The affairs of gods. Not my concern right now.

Cale also read Jungwon's messages, and praised Jungwon for doing a better job than GoD. 🤣🤣🤣 Jungwon escaped from the Dragon Lord who wanted to ask him questions, and hid in the Demon Cult because Heavenly Demon knew him. Because of the Dragon Lord's rampage, Jungwon came to stop the murim people from attacking the Dragon Lord.

But when Cale questioned about the god qualifications and god test he read from Jungwon's messages earlier, Jungwon replied that it was a secret, but he would tell Cale because he was on Cale's side. Wait, Cale. Why do you want to know those? Perhaps, a corner of your mind has become self-aware that you're on your way to godhood? 😂

Pope Kesilia messaged Cale that 3rd Star Exion summoned her, so Cale and Clopeh disguised themselves as her priest attendants. With Priest Cale back, Clopeh happily mentioned of his first meeting with Cale, though Cale did not seem too happy about that. 😂

Ending Remarks Wait, so Cale did not rest much today? Or did we get a time skip that I didn't notice? Anyway, next chapter would be the start of Exion villain arc. I wonder though, did Cale dye his hair white again or did it remain red?

#tcf spoilers #trash of the count's family

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yuriisclumsy · 24 hours

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Hi im still not sure if this is how you request😅😅

But can you please write a scenario about a reader who is very flirty with cale and always having a way to insert flirty lines into their conversation while cale just ignores it (secretly liking it) but one day he had enough and responds to a flirty line that the reader just said which leads to the reader being shocked. Also bonus if the fam also actually sees it HAHAHAHA

Thanks for reading🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Who's The Teaser Now?

»»►In this scenario I like to think [Name] has been a servant of Cale’s for years. Like, she saw him when the two were teens , and was like “Well damn, hot momma. You lookin’ fine tonight,” like a high school girl drooling for her crush. And the rest is history.

»»►Having [Name] flirt with you for YEARS makes you unreactive to her remarks; immune to any of her advances. But one day, because he was feeling festive, he decided to reply to one of [Name]’s many flirty lines.

»»►And let me tell you. [Name]. Was. SHOCKED. Pikachu style.

»»►Now we jump to the present.

Cale was on his way to relax in Heris Village, where his villa resided, after the battle with Arm in the Hais Islands. Only to have it disturbed not even two minutes into the carriage ride back to the Henituse Territory, by none other than [Name] the Simp.

She first started soft, asking if he was alright after the battle: “You didn’t get injured, right?” To: “Well, just WHO would even hurt such a refined gentleman such as yourself, Oh young and handsome Master Cale?”

Now Cale was starting to get pissed. He just wanted a nice, AND QUITE, ride back. But no, he just had to hear your annoying voice….

Oh. An idea just crossed his mind.

Let’s see if this will resolve his problem, even if there is a possibility of it backfiring.

“Y’know Master Cale, every girl in the Henituse Territory is now DYING to see your pretty face. Especially after getting that fancy title of yours. A title, which I must say, is rather fitting of you, young master. Honestly, I’m so lucky that I can just admire it whenever you call me. If you asked me to marry you I wouldn’t even think for a second and just say yes. Truly, a dream come true!” [Name] was making his, On’s, Hong’s, and Raon’s ears fall off with how much she was talking.

Ah! Wait a second. This was the perfect opportunity!

“Oh yeah?” Cale started, “If I were to fall on my knee and ask you for your hand, would you accept in a heartbeat?” He asked as one curious gaze and two unsure gazes fell on him.

[Name] just looked at Cale, unsure at why he was asking. Usually he just orders her to do something to get her away, or simply ignores her altogether.

“Uhh-uhh..yeah?” She answered.

“Then you don’t mind if I do this then,” he said, getting down on one knee in the moving carriage.

At this point [Name]’s eyes were wide, almost to the point they might pop out her sockets.

Cale took her right hand and looked up to meet her eyes. With a wide smile he asked, “[Name] [Last Name], will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive, and give me your hand in marriage?” He finished.

The children looked at him like he had a loose screw. Had he finally a lost it after not getting a break to be a slacker? Was this his limit? [Name] had an unreadable expression. Almost concerning.

Did I go too far? Cale asked in his head while assessing her expression. What scares me the most is that she isn’t saying anything cheezy inturn, a sweat drop apparent in his face, falls.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

A screeching yell was heard from inside the compartment. The carriage stopped and those outside came running to aid–in what their opinion was a threat–those inside the carriage.

“Young Master Cale! Is everyone alright?! What happened—!?” Choi Han asked in a hurry, swinging the door of the carriage wide open, sword in hand. Only to see Cale kneeling on the floor of the carriage with a [Name] crunched up on the corner of the seat opposite to the door.

What happened?

All everyone could see was a girl that looked like she was dying slowly in a corner, and a young Master that probably fell from his seat after the carriage suddenly stopped.

To not make things more awkward, Cale spoke.

“Ah, you guys,” he got their attention, “go back. [Name] just saw a bug. So there is no need to worry.” He skillfully lied, sitting back up.

“...if you insist,” getting a hesitant response from Choi Han, and some worried looks from the others.

All the while Ron is just smiling in the back. We all know he knows what happened.

Going back to their positions, the carriage started moving again. Only this time, it was quiet. Just how Cale liked it. He looked at the source of the blissful peace to see the girl still in a crouched up position.

“Huff, where did that ‘say yes in a heartbeat’ go?” Cale asked the girl, getting that last remark for his triumph.

In response, all he heard was a muffled “Shut up…!” from her.

Red hues adorned her ears, indicating she was blushing. She was trying so hard to hide her face with her arms and legs too.

How cute.

No wonder [Name] enjoyed doing this to him, being the one on the teaser end is certainly amusing.

He smiled, looking out the window, deciding not to tease her anymore to save her from more embarrassment.

He should turn this into a hobby after seeing that expression on her face.

Hello, lovelies! I hope you enjoy this. Surprisingly I wrote this in two days...fascinating.

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @lureslutes, @cruzerforce4256. Re-blog or Comment if you want to get added into the Tag section for Lout of Count's Family for more updates.

Lout Of Count's Family Master-List

Master-List

#cale henituse x reader #cale henituse #trash of the count's family x reader #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #lout of the count's family x reader #reader input #x reader #manhwa x reader #totcf #manhwa #manhwa fanfic

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blackcranio · 2 days

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#286

lol Cale bleeding non stop and Choi Han told him to stop talking nonsense while bleeding and to talk about the thing that make sense once he stop bleeding lol

Eruhaben be like Lock can stand the wall of chaos because he had god possessed him, in Raon case it must be his attribute, but what about Cale? He look like he about to give in and then his eyes just sparkled like he found some treasure? This human is weird.

Cale-nim in priest outfit again? Kahaaaaa!

Made Clopeh feel nostalgic about their first time meeting lol

Jungwon is telling Cale-nim secret left and right is such a vibe lol and Cale-nim just ignored the god of death again, as always.

(Is yulyeohan-nim forgot about Choi Jung Soo? Where is he, he hadn’t been mentioned since the chapter where the two star dragon appeared)

#lout of the count’s family #trash of the count's family #cale henituse #lcf part 2 #tcf part 2 #choi han #raon miru #eruhaben #clopeh sekka

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zharaely · 22 hours

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The Birth of a Hero was weird...

Putting aside the fact that it was actually written to be a guidebook for Kim Rok Soo, it was so obvious how weird The Birth of a Hero was as a 'novel' looking back, especially when you re-read the early chapters of TCF. It was weirdly detailed and descriptive about what should've been minor or unnecessary information if it was actually a novel.

For example, The Indestructible Shield, which was an ancient power that wasn't owned or found by anyone in the novel but just so happens to be in the Henituse Territory. It wasn't related at all to the main characters, but TBOAH went into detail about the ancient power's history, its original owner, its location, how to obtain it, and the response to expect once you feed the man-eating tree. I wonder whether Kim Rok Soo ever questioned why Nelan Barrow would write so much about something 'not important' while reading TBOAH, if whether or not the author just decided to ramble about world lore he made up but couldn't tie into the main story. Kim Rok Soo is better than me because I would've gotten really bored.

Also, TBOAH didn't just get into detail about the Ancient Powers either, since it also had a LOT to say about the Original Cale Henituse, his family, and the territory in general. From the very beginning, when Kim Rok Soo wakes up in the body of Cale Henituse, he goes to the bathroom to find the full body mirror the Original Cale Henituse had that was mentioned in the novel. That is INCREDIBLY random information to mention about a minor villain whose sole purpose was to get beaten up by the protagonist. But it doesn't happen just once. When Cale asks Deruth for an allowance, he recalls that the Original Cale also received a large allowance but the exact amount was never mentioned in the novel. Later on, when Ron serves Cale lemonade instead of cold water, he recalls again how the Original Cale hated sour things just like himself.

If he really was inside of the novel, he knew that there should be a large mirror inside.

As expected, the full body mirror was inside the bathroom. Cale Henituse, who had a lot of interest in his appearance and physique, had this mirror set up in here. Nobody else in the household had such a mirror.

The novel did mention that Cale received a large allowance, but it did not mention the exact amount. However, he could realistically understand how large it was based on the amount listed on the cheque.

He really is an insidious man. He knows that, just like Kim Rok Soo, the original Cale hates sour things. But he still chose to bring lemonade, which would take more work to prepare than cold water. [...]

It's pretty obvious by now that TBOAH went deeper into the Original Cale Henituse's character than a normal novel should have in just the first volume, like how he despised gangsters and scammers or how he had horrible aim when drunk, and his relationships with Ron and his family. Kim Rok Soo would recall reading about flashbacks to Cale being woken up by a servant that wasn't Ron which led to a ton of swearing, Cale breaking everything at his spot in the bar once, and Cale getting a scar on his side while drinking the night before meeting Choi Han. The novel also mentioned things that no one else but the Original Cale Henituse knew about, such as how he had high alcohol tolerance but just flushed easily which made people assume he was lightweight. if I were the one reading TBOAH, I would've started to wonder whether the author was planning to make Cale Henituse an important character later on (and maybe he was, but there were only 5 volumes).

The Henituse Family wasn't mentioned as much as Cale was, except for how people pushed the 15-year-old Basen to be the head of the family and how Basen started acting as the family's successor since 2 years ago, but it's odd enough that Nelan Barrow decided to describe characters that Choi Han never even meets (if we assume he only encounters Cale and Deruth and no one else in the family). There were even descriptions of the slums in the Henituse Territory and the Henituse Family business, like???

All of it further cements the fact that The Birth of a Hero was very much a guidebook written for Kim Rok Soo, who was going to swap bodies with Cale Henituse, and to help him adjust to his new life and plan for the future. The novel was fucking suspicious from the start!!!

#trash of the count's family #lout of the counts family #cale henituse #kim rok soo #original cale henituse #thebirthofahero #choi jung gun #nelan barrow #tboah #it felt off since my first read but it made a bit more sense on my re-read #50% of TBOAH was about Choi Han's adventures #the other 50% was CJG rambling about random side character facts and world lore

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whathaveidonetoyou · 2 days

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UGH I'm supposed to study but I can't focus because there's a song in my native language that I JUST can't listen to without relating back to the tboah timeline and the book.

Because: 1. The song's insistence that "Everything is part of the show" like y'know the book and how Cale was convinced that he was in a fictional world at first

2. The "show" not seeming quite right (or seeming 'dead') because tboah was written by Choi Jung Gun who isn't omnipotent and didn't actually know what everyone was thinking and wrote what he assumed they were thinking based on their actions and the events that surrounded them (he got some things right, he got some things wrong)

3. THIS

There are other things too, but I would have to write an essay.

PLEASE someone tell me im not crazy and this isn't the tcf obsession getting to my head!!!

The song is Μπουρλέσκ (burlesque) by Solmeister and it's up on YouTube and Spotify. If anyone can't find the English translation on Google lmk and I'll link it!!

#ik that realistically no one will care abt a greek song #but i have no one to talk about this with irl #so Tumblr it is :)#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #the birth of a hero #tboah

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akapictorem · 2 days

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Cale Henituse being cool

#cale henituse #trash of the count's family #lcf #lcf cale #tcf #tcf cale #watercolour art #watercolor

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wandering-tides · 20 hours

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Todays chapter (part 2, 287) was really like...

The green trees we see after the sun rises on a snow covered land, that survived through a blizzard.

For those who don't understand it... that's a shortened version of the long poetic description of Clopeh's "holy" smile given by none other than Super Rock himself 🤣🤣🤣

Seems like Super Rock had a poet hidden in him all along! 🤣

#tcf #lcf #trash of the count's family #cale henituse #lout of the count’s family #tcf cale #tcf novel #tcf novel part 2 #tcf part 2 #kim rok soo #krs #clopeh sekka #clopeh #tcf clopeh #Super rock #tcf Super Rock #super rock AP #laws of hunting

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murasaki-cha · 2 days

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Tcf part 2 chapter 286

“What are the qualifications of God and the test of God? Is there such a thing?”

.....Cale

Cale why do you want to know that?

Stop it Cale?

Seriously Cale stop it.

Don't do it Cale.

Damn it man stop.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #tcf novel #tcf part 2 #laws of hunting #cale henituse

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teriri-sayes · 21 hours

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Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 287

New title - 36. Cale-nim is Better Than a Dragon

Brief summary: Poetic description of Clopeh's "holy" smile. Cale visits Epley's island. Cale's group discuss Exion's plan to deal with them. CH vs. Clopeh.

==========

I knew that Clopeh was one of the author's favourite characters, but today was seriously pushing it. 🤣🤣🤣

"Fufufu." Clopeh Sekka laughed softly. The smile on the beautiful face of the white-haired and green-eyed man was truly holy. -Okay, Cale. I understand now. Super Rock started talking seriously. -When a blizzard rages for days and days, covering the world in snow and turning it white. -The beautiful green colour of the trees, the only thing holding on to the white world, even though you thought it doesn't make any sense. -When the blizzard suddenly stops and the sun peeks through the clouds, casting its rays on the snow. -The way the sunlight glistens on the green leaves of the only tree standing strong. -That feeling of holiness. Super Rock was very serious, as if all his doubts had disappeared. -That holy feeling is basically built into that bastard's smile. Ha. It was a really long explanation. Cale was shocked, but kept his mouth shut. He couldn't be bothered to retort, but his expression crumpled at Super Rock's next words. -Of course, your smile when scamming someone falls short to it. This Super Rock, what are you talking about?

J-Just look! Look! All those lines just to describe the "holiness" of Clopeh's smile. 🤣🤣🤣 And Super Rock, what happened to you? 🤣🤣🤣

Moving on, I thought Epley and the mage chimera were dead, but Cale was treating the two as having escaped rather than being dead. Epley's island was wiped off the map, but the source of the world caused an abnormal phenomenon on the sea, making it boil continuously.

Next up was Exion's plan to deal with Cale. It was not just the pope that Exion summoned, but the bishops and heretic inquisitors too. The remaining dragon gods were invited too, though it was optional. Emperor Alt and several human kings were also invited. Cale deduced that Exion was planning to have all those groups deal with Cale instead of Exion himself doing it.

After that, the focus returned to Clopeh. Today was his happy day because Cale praised him for doing a good job with handling the political affairs of this world. Cale even said that he would give the sword of the elven guardian knight who protected the Dragon Lord.

But... Clopeh must get CH's approval first before he gets the sword. And thus, the man's eyes reminiscent of green leaves turned to a slimy and murky green swamp... Author-nim, come on. You had to end today's chapter with a poetic description of Clopeh's eyes this time? 🤣🤣🤣

Ending Remarks I love this chapter because it was full of Clopeh madness that even the pope decided not to mess with him or Cale. 😂 And Cale regretting having Clopeh by his side. 😂 Next chapter is a duel between CH and Clopeh. I'm looking forward to how much Clopeh had grown in this arc.

#tcf spoilers #trash of the count's family

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illusionsofdreaming · 2 days

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birds without feet;

Notes: I return to the blog with this monster of a ficlet. This was actually written for @nin-deer who very graciously allowed me to share it on the blog as well. A small imagine that grew out of control haha... enjoy~ Ft: Beacrox

It was but a subtle shift of air that caused him to abandon his project. In an instant, he whipped around, knife in hand, its sharp blade poised just above the intruder's jugular, ready to cut deep with the slightest pressure.

Despite the threat of a blade at your neck, your smile was relaxed as you lifted the roll of parchment in your hand. “Delivery!”

His eyes quickly scanned the kitchen, noting the shifted curtains he pieced together your point of entrance. Only when you wiggled the paper impatiently did he finally drop the knife and swiped the parchment from your hand, ignoring your huff of laughter as he scanned over its contents.

“It’s nice to see you too Beacrox. How have you been?”

Your attempts at casual banter were ignored, but the moment you began reaching for the food on the table, his gaze snapped to yours, promising pain should you attempt further.

You were wise enough to heed his warning as you stepped back, hands raised in surrender. “Sheesh, you’re not going to make any friends if you keep acting this way.”

Crumpling the piece of paper, he threw it into the fireplace as you clicked your tongue in mock annoyance.

Had he cared for your opinion, he might’ve been annoyed, alas it was easy to dismiss as he threw a pouch in your direction, the clink of gold muted as you caught it from the air. He watched as you tossed the bag a few times before pocketing it.

You must have caught the confusion on his face as you glanced up with a grin. “I know you won’t cheat me of my payment.”

Though it was the truth—Molan’s motto was always to repay what’s due—such blatant admission of trust from someone working in the dark underbelly of society puzzled him, and without meaning to, he’d let his displeasure slip through. “It could’ve been filled with rocks.”

You blinked, head tilted as if you’re considering the possibility, then you laughed. “Then I suppose I’ll be a few pretty rocks richer.”

He scowled and returned to his work, grabbing his knife to hide the flush of annoyance he felt by your flippant answer. You knew such responses would annoy him, and he refused to give you the satisfaction of being correct.

One does not survive long in the underworld with their morals and innocence intact. Your deliberate pushing of buttons was another tactic to wheedle information from your targets, and he wasn't inclined on revealing anything. You already know far too much as is.

“Leave,” he ordered, his limited patience well and truly spent.

“Always a pleasure talking to you, Bea~”

He threw the knife in his hand, but by the time he turned around, you were already gone. The only evidence of your visit was the lingering echoes of your laughter and a missing tart from the plate of desserts he'd prepared earlier.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

As you kept the package just out of his reach, he couldn’t help but think: for a grown person jaded by the underworld, you sure liked acting like a child at times.

“You just thought of something rude didn’t you?”

His gaze snapped to yours. “You forget who you’re dealing with.” he warned coldly. The Molan household might have fallen from grace but just because he had traded his daggers for kitchen knives, they were no less lethal in his hands. Was it confidence or foolishness that made you dare to test his patience?

The silence in the kitchens was deafening as your eyes met across the counter.

“I haven’t,” You said finally, “not once.” Your smile was wry and lacked its usual cheer but the heaviness in your tone bore the weight of many secrets, of someone who knew far more than what they’re letting on. He’s faced with an uncanny sense of unbelonging and emptiness that seemed eerily familiar.

But with a blink of an eye, the mask that had slipped had righted itself. “I have a change of mind,” You sat on the edge of the counter island, tension and somber mood shaken off, replaced with an all too sunny smile. “I’d like another form of payment for the information I’m selling.”

He felt anger lick up his throat as his fist clenched above the table. “That was not part of our deal.”

“An amendment to the agreement then, if you will-”

“I refuse.”

Your peals of laughter filled the room, “You didn’t even let me finish!”

“I refuse.” He repeated sternly. Knowing your personality, it would be an amendment that would greatly irritate or inconvenience him.

“I’d like you to cook a dish for me.” You continued, ignoring his words.

There was a sharp snap as the corner of the table cracked under his hand as incredulity stole over his face.

To begin with, payment for your services had never been cheap, each bag of gold was worth more than several months’ worth of food. If all you wanted was a decent meal, then you’ve already been charging enough to dine at any of Roan kingdom’s finest restaurants.

“It’s not a dish that can be found on any menu in the kingdom.” You tutted as if you knew the thoughts that were going through his head. “It’s not something that can be bought with gold.”

You’re pulling his leg. “And why do you think I’d care to create a dish no one’s heard of?” Beacrox asked through gritted teeth.

“I know you don’t.” You laughed, lips slanted with a smile. “It’s something I’ve tasted a long time ago but have no idea how it’s made. I’ll describe what I remember and if you believe it’s impossible to recreate or not worth the hassle,” you shrugged in an exaggerated display of nonchalance, “then I’ll take the usual payment like nothing’s changed. It’s a good deal for you right?”

Nothing about this deal made sense. You’re essentially offering your services for free while he’d benefit regardless of whether he succeeds in recreating the dish or not. His expression was stiff as he crossed his arms.

You set the package down on the table gently and slid a piece of folded paper next to it. “Take your time to think about it.” You offered as you pulled your hood up. You left the kitchens as quietly as you’d arrived, leaving him to brood in the silence left behind.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Here.” he sets the completed project on the table with the reluctance of a person who would rather be anywhere else but in the kitchens at that very moment. He folded his arms, pinning his hands to his chest, resisting the urge to snatch the plate and throw it in the trash, calling off the deal.

Beacrox had no expectations of being able to recreate a dish he had never heard of. Yet, from the moment he set the plate down, you stiffened in place, your pleasant smile melting away, replaced by shock.

“Well?”, You flinched as he prompted impatiently. You pulled the dish closer, your smile weak and crooked.

“I was just a bit surprised that’s all..” your voice trailed off.

He filed your reactions away in the back of his mind.

Your grip was uncertain but eventually you picked a piece from the plate and placed it in your mouth.

You froze in place, and he immediately slid a cup of water and bowl over.

But you surprised him when you kept it in and swallowed. “It…” He watched as your face straightened slowly, all visible emotions ironed away into one of careful neutrality.

“..tastes nothing like it.”

When vague subjective descriptions on a slim piece of paper were all that he had to work with, he’d expected this outcome. The bag of gold he had prepared in advance was tossed onto the table as he reached to retrieve the dish, only to be deterred when sharp pain sprang across the back of his hand. The surprise he felt from the fact he’d failed to catch your movements was swiftly replaced by irritation when he realised you’d slapped him.

His eyes narrowed, “What are you-“

“I’m taking it.” you said and to his utter confusion, went on to shove another bite in your mouth.

“You just said-“

“I know what I said.” you huffed, “I never said the dish had to taste right did I? It’s a good first try-“ His eyebrows lifted as you suddenly lost the ability to maintain eye contact with him. “Anyways, I’ll be the judge of what’s accepted and I say this passes.”

You've always been an eccentric character, but just when he thought you couldn't faze him further, you managed to render him speechless yet again. Till now, he’s yet to figure out your intention behind your request, if taste was not a priority then what use was creating the dish you’re looking for?

“Get out of my kitchen.”

“But I haven’t-“

“Out.”

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

Of all the informants in the kingdom, none possessed skills that could surpass yours. It was why, despite the many headaches you induced, Beacrox had chosen to suffer your pestering for so long.

Not one of his sources has ever confirmed how you acquire your information or seen you in action. Yet the intelligence you provide, which has, at many times, sounded unbelievable, had been proven to be true time and time again.

Perhaps the strangest thing of all was that, despite the ease with which you uncover others' secrets, the same couldn’t be said vice versa. Little to no information could be found regarding your background, whatever was found was obviously doctored, being far too mundane for someone of your skills. You were either incredibly thorough at covering your tracks or an experienced fraudster, and Beacrox was inclined on believing the latter.

Your unpredictable behaviour made it hard to judge whether you’re an ally or foe, so it was only natural that he’d sought for leverage to hold against you in case there’ll be a day you’d decide to betray them and sell their secrets to their enemies.

That was the only reason he would consider playing along with your games.

Though he knew not the significance of these dishes to you, he had hoped they would provide some insight on your background or places you’ve been to where other sources have failed to narrow down.

But of course even the meals you’d request would be harder if not just as difficult to trace as well.

It was only a matter of time before you caught onto his intentions, after all, he’d never kept his investigations a secret. Yet instead of pulling back like he’d expected, you had become bolder in your requests, eyes sparkling with mischief as if you understood the frustration he was going through and still remain one infuriating step ahead of him at all times.

He’d considered the possibility that you could be pulling his leg, but there was something about the nostalgia in your eyes as you taste each dish that made Beacrox believe in their authenticity.

He glanced at a small box hidden by the side, within held a small but steadily growing pile of recipes of unknown origins. Not for the first time, Beacrox found himself questioning if all these peaceful days have turned him soft after all.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

A familiar, unwelcome figure was sitting in his fresh crate of produce.

A quick scan around the area confirmed that you were alone and he walked over to assess your state. A splatter trail led up to the crate you sat on and his brows furrowed in distaste. The darkness made it difficult to immediately see any obvious signs of injuries and when you made no reaction to his presence, he kicked the crate below you.

“Ow.” you stirred, complaining with a soft laugh.

Conscious.

“Why are you here?”

Your unannounced visit broke one of many unspoken rules governing their kind. As people maintaining a delicate facade, unexpected visits were not merely discouraged but deemed perilous. No one would fault him should he choose to silence you then and there - such was the severity of your faux pas - yet he stood, only mildly irritated, at the disruption you’ve brought to a peaceful night.

It took a moment longer than he liked before you gathered enough strength to speak. “Sorry,” you apologised and for once, actually sounding it. “I just need a little rest. I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

Your laboured breathing and unfocused gaze suggested otherwise and he folded his arms as the dreadful feeling of his plans for an early night slipped through his fingers like fine sand.

“How bad is it?”

Impatiently he waited for you to process his words, your sluggishness a strange contrast to your usually sharp wit and quick retorts.

“It’s been treated.”

The smell of blood was sharp and acrid, he would have to clean the stains soon if he wished to avoid its scent lingering in the area. “I will not ask again.” He warned.

You were exhausted, it could be seen from your posture and expression. Though he understood the instinct to hide one’s weakness, from the moment you chose to rest here it wasn’t a matter of ‘if’ the truth comes out but a matter of ‘when’ and Beacrox would preferred if it happened sooner rather than later.

Just as he was contemplating the benefits of leaving you to your fate, your lips loosened. “Stab wound on the left, missed vitals. I’ve been tended to but some of the stitches might have opened up.”

That would explain the bloody trail you left. He should count his blessings that it didn’t sound too bothersome, assuming you hadn't foolishly downplayed the severity of your injuries. Your arms came up defensively as he began moving towards you, eyes widening with surprise, “Wait-“

His arms slipped under and around and with barely a grunt of effort, he lifted you up. The sudden motion drew a muffled groan from you and he allowed you a brief moment to collect yourself before he began moving. From this position, he could acutely feel the heat radiating from your skin and the tremors that wracked your body.

Your confusion and trepidation were clear and it was with some hesitation before you decided to open your mouth-

“Save your breath.” He advised and you obediently swallowed your words.

He moved you into the storage shed behind the kitchen. Though dark, he navigated through the small space easily, setting you on the surface of several boxes, he stepped back to note that you’ve lost consciousness. The walk hadn’t been far but you must have exhausted your reserves traveling here.

From the darkness he brought out a small knife and paused, looking at your face, sweat slicked yet slack from tension, having found an escape from the worries troubling you - however temporary. He recognised that this moment might be a rare opportunity to unveil the secrets you hide, yet as quick as the notion flitted through his mind, it was dismissed just as quickly. With methodical precision, he cut open the side of your shirt where red had stained through.

The wound was as you’d described, if not a bit irritated and swollen. Basic first aid had been applied, though the messy stitch work left much to be desired, it did its job in holding your injury closed. A few stitches had come loose and will need to be reworked but nothing that he’s not capable of handling even with his limited medical knowledge.

As his gaze roamed to your face checking, yes, you were still unconscious, he left and returned moments later with a candle, clean water, cloth and a clean shirt.

A dusty shed and mere candlelight were far from an ideal setting to perform any kind of wound care, but he doubted you’d care at this point. Pristine, white gloves snapped on, he made short work of cleaning, restitching and bandaging your wound.

He was about to tilt a bottle of potion into your lips when you mumbled. He paused, waiting to see if you were regaining consciousness. You mumbled again and he frowned. It took him few moments before he realised two things: you weren’t waking up anytime soon and the words you’re mumbling, weren’t in a language from Roan or even any of the neighbouring kingdoms.

As a master assassin, he had learned many languages, so the fact that you spoke one that he couldn’t place piqued his interest. He watched your lips, intent on studying and memorising the unique intonations and pitch, however, it seems your instincts finally kicked in, and though still unconscious, you’d stopped mumbling.

Even out cold, you’d find a way to be bothersome. There was nothing more he could do, he left the folded, clean shirt he brought along by your side and with one final glance at your still form, he closed the doors behind him and locked it.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

He returned the next morning to a broken lock and an empty shed. In place of where you’re supposed to be was instead a piece of paper and a bag of coins.

“Thanks for last night. Sorry about your spuds, I’ve replaced them for you :)”

A glance to the side confirmed the presence of a fresh crate of potatoes and a slip of paper containing the description of a dish never heard of before in the kingdom.

And for the first time ever, a name to go alongside the unfamiliar dish.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

You never mentioned what happened that night and he didn’t pry. Still, something seemed to have shifted between the two of you.

He no longer chases you away the moment you appear, while you've learned to place yourself to avoiding getting in the way of his cooking. He pretends not to notice when you arrive with injuries and you feign surprise at finding mysterious salves appearing nearby.

“Aw, did you miss my company?” you teased when you caught his gaze assessing you after dropping by from one of your longer absences.

Beacrox made no attempt to conceal the dry scowl on his face. “Like one misses a rat infestation.”

“Charming~” you beamed.

Some things, still don’t change no matter what.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

In the end, it was the one question he couldn’t figure out.

“Why me?”

The dishes you've shared are simple, you could've hired any other chef, given the same descriptions and they would’ve achieved similar results. But you chose to badger him, an unknown chef working for a humble count's family instead.

You paused in your devouring of yet another strange dish, blinking as if surprised that he would be the first to initiate conversation.

“Why Bea! You should have more confidence in yourself, you’re one of the best chefs in Roan!”

It was as obvious a deflection as he ever saw. His fingers tightened around his arms and he took a slow breath. So you’re going to be stubborn. Well, two can play that game. He tried another angle.

The words tasted foreign on his tongue, but they were something that turned over and over in his mind since that night. He’d probably horribly butchered the pronunciation but it seemed the meaning was successfully relayed from the way your eyes widened and your pupils shook with recognition.

The utensil held in your hand clattered to the table and Beacrox kept his eyes trained on you, taking in your paling face. When it didn't seem like you would offer an explanation, he continued.

“It’s what you kept repeating that night.“

A myriad of emotions crossed your face: shock, confusion, fear, and finally, resignation.

In the silence, you slowly repeated those same words. Sharp, crisp and wholly foreign.

"“Home,” your voice was soft, but it was the loudest thing in the kitchen. “‘I want to go home.’” you swallowed thickly, a wavering smile on your face. “that’s probably what I said.”

There was a lot to unpack from that revelation.

He was suddenly reminded of how you’d react to the dishes each time, savouring each one, scouring the plates clean despite the differences in tastes. You ate not to fulfil the hunger of the body but to satisfy a craving of the mind. After receiving the recipe with a foreign name, it had confirmed one suspicion of his, that wherever these dishes came from, whether it was a place or a person that you're reminiscing about, they're likely no longer accessible.

You're reliving memories through dishes you barely remember. Chasing ghosts in your memories in search of some semblance of normalcy.

Trust was a limited and rare currency in the underworld, hoarded jealously and coveted by many. You’d handed him the leash he’d sought since he agreed to your little game yet he felt gutted by the weight of the revelation, his shoulders burdened.

“Why me?” He repeated softly.

You watched him. “I don’t know.” Your voice sounded small and so tired. “I thought maybe, if it’s anyone, you’d probably understand.”

What does the concept of home and person mean when they no longer exist? Who are they but displaced people playing roles too big or small to hold their histories? Bearing memories of a place and person, but unable to find an equivalent?

It was a mistake. He shouldn’t have asked.

“But I wasn’t lying you know?” you added suddenly and he looked up in confusion, the smile you wore was weaker than usual but it was genuine.

“You are one of the best chefs in all of Roan.” You declared in that same, familiar confidence which you use to share all those impossible, far-fetched sounding intel that always, turns out to be fact.

For some inexplicable reason, it was that simple statement that dispersed the tempest building within.

Beacrox sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and exhaled through his nose.

And perhaps, there was a small, exasperated chuckle.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Bea please marry me.”

It wasn't often, but on rare occasions, he would nail the taste of a dish right.

He didn’t bother with a response but moved to refill your plate nonetheless.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Thank you.”

He paused while wiping the dishes. “For what?”

“Just,” Your gaze dropped to the plate before you as your fork tapped lightly against the edge. “Thank you for the food.”

Beacrox watched as you returned to eating, mind filled with memories of all the dishes he's made, of greatswords and bladed edges, and thought of what home and belonging is.

We’re not so different. The idea of it wasn't as horrifying as he had thought. Once, perhaps he would’ve been unnerved by the sentimentality. There are still so many things that remain a secret when it comes to you, and yet, as you close your eyes to savor each bite, he feels as if he knows you better than most.

You ate in comfortable silence. He rolled his shoulders and allowed the tension in them to drop off.

This might not be ‘home’ but for now, this moment was as good a resting place as any for people like them.

“You’re welcome.” he said softly.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

BONUS:

Once again, it begins with a ridiculous request from you.

“Bea please, you have to prepare this for Choi Han. I’ll even sell you my kidneys, I really need to know his reaction.”

What value would owning your kidneys have? That you’d blatantly suggest such things to an assassin like himself was laughable, stranger still was his playing the fool and following along anyways.

He didn't question how you knew about their mansion's new guest, though your sudden interest in the visitor when you’ve shown no such interest in past guests was worthy of note. Even he had unconsciously tensed when the young master had introduced him. Something about the newcomer didn’t seem right. They were strong, but their potential was untapped and raw, like an uncontrollable beast on the verge of lashing out at any moment.

The glimmer of something in your eyes further confirmed his suspicions. You knew something about this stranger though you refused to reveal more, only promising that he’s not a threat to him or Ron.

He frowned at the pot of red he’s stirring, the pungent smell wafting through the room. Footsteps from the doorway had him looking up, but the person that crossed the threshold was not the person he’d expected.

The young master stepped in with a cautious look in his eyes.

“I thought I smelled..” brown eyes narrowed at the pot he held. “What’s that?”

Beacrox glanced down at the strange dish he was asked to prepare, wondering why of all people that could’ve come, it would be Cale Henituse.

“A dish a friend taught me to make.” Then for some reason unbeknownst to him, he offered. “Would the young master like to try?”

Cale hesitated, but eventually slid himself onto a seat, choosing the one farthest away from him. At least the young master seemed sober. Beacrox felt no fondness for the young master he served, even if it was true that he had begun to change recently, raising even the interest of Ron.

Spooning a small portion, he set the dish and utensils down before Cale, ignoring the young man’s flinch as he gauged Cale’s strange expressions.

The young master stared at the dish as if it would leap up and attack him, his strange wariness reminded Beacrox of your reaction when he first presented that first unfamiliar dish to you.

“.. there’s no way..” Cale muttered to himself as he poked and prodded until finally, he tried a bite.

“What.. the hell?”

Beacrox had never seen the young master's eyes bug out like that, and he decided it was quite an entertaining sight, even if the dish’s original target wasn’t meant for the redhead. Still he stifled an irritated sigh as a thought crossed his mind when the young master exclaimed.

“How the hell did you learn to make kimchi?!”

“What the hell did you make me do this time _______?”

Notes: I've had lots of thoughts while writing this imagine turned fic. Nin-deer gave me a simple prompt of "cooking" and I went and turned it into lore- OTL even I don't understand the intricate workings of my brain. I've had to cut out some chapters details as it was growing out of hand so I hope everything's links together properly. I've reached that stage where I've reread a piece of writing so many times, nothing makes sense anymore. I've deliberately left the dishes 'cooked' vague so you're free to imagine whatever cuisine you'd like that Beacrox helped butcher 👍🏼