#topper thronton angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sortagaysortahigh · 4 years

Text

White Boys Pt. 4 | Topper Thornton

“I Don’t Know What To Do Right Now”

Idk writing the end of this lowkey made me cry bc lol I have daddy issues but its honestly not that deep. However this is the longest chapter thus far in this series.

Warnings: mentions of racism and prejudice, mentions of bullying, underage drinking, drug use (marijuana), cussing, spelling and grammar issues

Word count: 4.4k

Black!Fem!Reader x Topper Thornton

Series Masterlist

Your head felt like it weighed three tons, your body was sore, and you felt like you were hit by a bus-regina george style. This was the hangover of all hangovers, it deserved it’s seat on a throne.

“Rise and shine sweetheart, you went pretty hard last night” you groaned at the sound of Sarah’s voice, you pulled the blankets over your head when she opened the curtains in the room. You felt the bed dip next to you and she pulled the blanket down, a glass of water and two pills in her hand, you sat up slightly taking the pills from her, finally realizing she managed to put your scarf on your head-mind you she did a horrible job-but it’s the thought that counts.

“Can we go get lava cakes from the Wreck?” she laughed and nodded, you groaned not wanting to get dressed, but she already had some of your clothes laid out waiting for you and a towel. You spent a lot of time at the Cameron residence, so it made sense that you had clothes left here, and the times you didn’t, you’d usually just steal one of Rafe’s hoodies and wear your emergency spandex. Let’s just say you had a plethora of Rafe’s hoodies-which pissed him off half the time-however he started giving you Topper’s hoodies or long sleeves that he’d leave there.

You usually didn’t know that though, but it only mattered to Rafe because he thought it was funny, seeing Topper complain about his missing hoodies then seeing you in them, a smile on his face, not saying anything to you about it. Even after he’d just ranted to Rafe about not wanting his random hookups ‘stealing his shit’. The boy was whipped for you.

After you showered and managed to bring your headache down to a small pain you got ready, making sure to put on the oversized sunglasses on. You were thankful it wasn’t super hot or humid today, it was a nice seventy-which was rare-so you had on a random black surf shop long sleeve and your black nike pros, your yellow crocs on your feet. Sarah helped you fix your hair, spending twenty minutes trying to perfect your edges for you, it was definitely a trial and error process, but you walked her through the entire thing, while you left your faux locs down, most of the gold hair jewelry out-Sarah taking it off before tying your scarf onto your head last night.

“Are you gonna crash the car if you drive” “pfft I’ve never crashed the car-have other cars crashed into me? Yes. Was it my fault? Maybe. But I’ve never crashed the car.” “Sarah please don’t crash the car. I’m trusting you to drive” she nodded her head, grabbing the keys, and your bags then walking down the stairs, you followed behind her, moving slower than usual because you were still groggy.

You heard a very familiar laugh, but you decided not to interact with him-not right now at least. You had a lot to think about, and you really wanted a lava cake. So you followed Sarah out to her car, getting into the front seat and leaning your head back against the headrest, wanting nothing more than to rest after your drinking fiasco last night.

Topper saw you, he watched you walk through the foyer of the house, smiling slightly when he noticed the shirt you were in was definitely a shirt he swore he lost-turns out he just left it at the Cameron’s and Rafe added it to the pile of your clothes that sat in one of Sarah’s dressers. The thought of you made his heart race, he bit his lip watching you and Sarah leave the house, ignoring Kelce and Rafe. He was thinking about the way you kissed him-not even the intense kiss-the way you turned back and gave him a quick kiss before going back into the house.

He was slowly but surely winning you over, and he loved that because well-he loved you. When Rafe called his name a few times he finally looked over at him, getting back into the conversation about lacrosse and one of Rafe’s collegiate hookups waiting for him to get back to campus in the fall. Talking about the way that Rafe was excited for Kelce and Top, going their separate ways for college-but still playing lax.

The drive was semi-stressful, but for the most part Sarah was doing a great job not screaming at people, speeding, or swerving as she drove. She did however have a few incidents when she muttered cuss words under her breath and flipped people off. The two of you were relatively quiet on the drive-not making conversation because you were groggy. Your thoughts were focused on two things, Topper Thornton and the lava cake you were about to consume at eleven in the morning.

When she parked the both of you walked inside, seeing the restaurant semi-busy, but you were able to immediately get a table, which was great for you, plus your other best friend just so happened to be your waitress.

“So you in full recovery mode huh? Lemme guess, a lava cake, vanilla ice cream, and an iced coffee on the side?” you nodded at her, placing your elbow on the table and leaning your head against your hand. Kiara grabbed the sunglasses off of your face and put them on the table, laughing at you as you mumbled a ‘thank you’. Sarah ordered crab cakes and peach tea, making sure she ordered an extra side of fries so she could sneak a few into your ice cream.

“So, you and Topper huh?” your eyes widened, you shushed her, taking a moment to look around. “Sarah you never know who’s around shit, don’t say his name” she shrugged “I mean the way his hand was on your ass last night I’d assume that you already voided your rule” you bit your bottom lip, looking at her, she furrowed her brows, looking taken aback by your expression.

“You didn’t void the rule?” “I have to talk to my mom, Sarah I’m scared” “of what? Topper’s literally been in love with you since we were kids” “he’s not in love with me shut up” she rolled her eyes and scoffed “What are you scared of?” you sighed, shifting so you were looking down at your fingers, picking at your manicure again. “My dad’s reaction” “so you’re gonna date Topper?” you shook your head at her “hows that work?”

Before you could respond Kiara came back, setting your drinks on the table, one of her coworkers helping her with your food, you thanked her and her coworker, she shot you a quick wink then made her way towards another table. You looked at the lava cake, wanting to marry it. Totally spacing on what Sarah had said and focusing your attention on eating.

You were about halfway into the cake when Sarah cleared her throat, making you look at her, brows raised, spoon in hand-cake and icecream on it. “Are you gonna answer my question?” “what question” “the one about you not dating Topper” you shrugged at her, putting the spoon down and sighing.

“It’s like, I just realized that I actually have a thing for Topper, and like I dunno I just wanna kiss him and let him hold me-and hold him, and hold his stupid hand, and listen to his horrible jokes but like at the same time I don’t want anything to do with him. My dad’s gonna flip shit the minute he finds out Topper’s even held my fucking hand-imagine his reaction to me saying that I wanna date him” Sarahs smile caught you off guard, she nodded her head in satisfaction, taking a sip of her iced tea.

“So, you wanna date him huh?” “Is that all you got from what I just said-seriously?” she laughed at you and you rolled your eyes “I just think it’s cute, but I dunno talk to your mom about things, Mama always gives me the best advice about guys, pretty sure she’d give her own daughter even better advice.” “or tell me not to tell my father” “I mean that’s also not bad advice” you rolled your eyes at her, watching her dig a fry into your ice cream, making your mouth drop.

“Sarah!” “What it’s good” “That’s fucking weird!” the two of you started laughing, you were finally back to feeling pretty regular, which you were thankful for because being hungover isn’t a good look. Kiara came back to the table with the bill and sighed, rubbing her hands over her face.

“I hate working morning shifts.” “are you off?” “yeah after you guys pay I’m done for the day, thank God. I’m probably heading to the Chateau, you guys should come! y/n the guys definitely miss you” you shrugged looking at Sarah and she shrugged too “okay”

After paying-making sure to leave a hefty tip, knowing the servers at the Wreck all split tips-the two of you waited for Kiara, then followed behind her car to the Chateau. You spotted the guys sitting on the back porch and smiled, seeing Pope stand up as soon as he noticed you, a smile spread across his face. But then it was replaced by a smirk, his arms crossed over his chest.

You followed behind Sarah and Kie, furrowing your brows at Pope, only for him to say something you didn’t expect him to know about.

“So you and Topper huh?” your eyes went wide and your mouth dropped, then you looked at JJ and he put his hands up. “It wasn’t me” which made Pope furrow his brows to look at his friend “Wait what do you know” “nothing” “deny deny deny? Really JJ” John B just looked confused, Sarah shooting you a wink while sitting next to her boyfriend on the green couch. Kiara looked between you and the guys, not knowing what to say in this situation.

“Y/N is banging Topper!” you shoved JJ “I am not banging Topper! What the hell JJ” “I literally walked in on you two at the country club” “we weren’t fucking, shut up!” You glanced back at Sarah and she was holding in her laugh, Kiara’s mouth wide-of course she knew about everything but she was still shocked that JJ knew something.

“My mom said you were dating him” “I’m not dating him” “Okay so are you calling my mom a liar?” “Pope shut the hell up, my mom and your mom always talk about us” “So is it true or not”

“They’ve been sneaking around kissing and shit!” you looked at Sarah, mouth wide.

“Why the hell is this a prosecution against me!” You sat on one of the empty chairs, putting your head in your hands, groaning.

“Wait am I the only one that didn’t know about y/n and topper?” you groaned even louder at John B’s comment.

“We all suck at keeping secrets” you flipped Pope off “JJ did a pretty good Job until now!” the blonde shrugged at you “Let’s face it, the second I got too many drinks in my system half of the cut would’ve known” your mouth dropped while you looked at him. He was right, but you didn’t want to hear him admit it.

“You tell your dad yet?” you put your head back in your hands, choosing to ignore everyone and focus on the fact that one of your friend groups knew about your white boy. Something that you wanted to keep secret for as long as possible, not wanting to deal with the repercussions of your actions.

You sat in silence for about twenty minutes, thoughts racing, while everyone else talked about whatever they were planning-something about a kegger, which you didn’t want to attend, but knew you’d probably end up there. Then you were laughing and making jokes with the pogues, rolling your eyes at JJ’s slick comments about you falling for a white boy-Kiara saying it was good karma-Pope saying he expected it-John B being clueless as ever.

When you felt your phone vibrating you groaned, seeing Kelce’s name on the screen, you answered after a few rings. You loved Kelce to pieces, but sometimes he’d call you because he needed you to save his ass-usually it was because one of his hookups got too attached so you had to be the one to tell them that he wasn’t into them. However you usually warned girls not to get too attached, he wasn’t one for commitment.

“Hi Kelcie...what...does everyone fucking know...wait he did what?...I’m going to murder that idiot...okay I’ll kill you too...what’s your point, I’ll kill him too, I don’t give a shit how tall he is, I’ll slice him at his knees...It’s not funny Kelcie...are you serious...what the fuck is this sophomore year again...where are you guys...I’m coming.” you hung up the phone, everyone looking at you-somewhat confused.

“Sarah I need your keys.” “why?” “I have to go beat someone's ass” she shrugged, tossing you the keys-you easily caught them. Standing up you gave them all the classic Sarah salute-turned middle finger combination and smiled. “I’ll see you guys at the kegger” they nodded at you, JJ shooting you a wink, knowing exactly where you were going.

The drive to the country club was short. You parked the car and walked towards the golf carts. Ignoring the workers asking if you needed anything, you were trying your best not to take your anger out on anyone. When you spotted the trio of idiots, Rafe leaning against the golf cart, Kelce standing in front of him, blocking your view of the person you wanted to kiss-and punch in the throat at the same time.

Rafe spotted you, saying something and nodding his head in your direction, making Kelce turn around and speed walk up to you, standing in front of you, hands on your shoulders, looking at you with a nervous expression. “Before you kill him just know they said some fucked up shit about you and me both okay-but mostly about you. He was just defending you okay, please don’t murder him” you scoffed, shoving your bestfriend off of you.

“Don’t murder him? Really Kelcie? Really? After years-years of telling you and him not to do this shit-” “-for the record Rafe was also involved” “I will literally cut Rafe at his knees, you’re lucky that you aren’t in his predicament right now.” he sighed and you shoved past him, walking up to the cart, seeing Topper looking down, not wanting to meet your gaze. Rafe looked at you, raising a brow.

“Rafe, I’ll murder you eventually, go away” he shrugged “alright, deal with your boyfriend” In most cases you would’ve corrected him, but you were too focused on Topper. Your jaw clenched while he slowly looked up at you, giving you time to take in the dark bruising under his left eye, his busted lip, and the bruise on his left cheekbone. Not to mention the blood stains on his shirt, plus his bruised knuckles.

“Are you fucking kidding me Topper?” you wanted to yell, but something in you led you to putting your hand on the left side of his face, your thumb lightly caressing the spot on his cheekbone. Your tone was gentle, and it caught both of you off guard. “For the record, they said some shit about you and Kelce” you sighed, your anger subsiding and you just wanted to make sure he was okay-it was a different feeling-something you weren’t used to.

“They always say shit about me and Kelce. Topper this isn’t high school anymore, I don’t need you fighting ignorant guys over the shit they say. I’m used to it” he rolled his eyes, placing his hand over yours on his face. He smiled, shrugging. “If you’re used to that, then get used to me fighting them, I’m not gonna stop.”

“You’ve been doing this shit for a long time Top, you ever think it’s time to give it up?” he shook his head “old habits are hard to break” you rolled your eyes, biting your lip, smiling slightly. “Oh really?” “Usually you’d be screaming at me by now, I like this version of you” you scoffed “I guess it’s your lucky day huh?” he bit his lip, wincing slightly when he remembered that it was slightly busted.

He took time to admire you in this moment, you were finally opening up to him, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t vocal-you were being vulnerable with him, you were letting him care about you. This version of you was someone he’d been longing to meet, the gentle and caring side, the side of you that you tried to hide from people because you didn’t want to be taken advantage of.

“Stop staring at me” “I think I have the right to stare at you” you rolled your eyes, but something about the way he was looking at you made you lean in and give him a gentle kiss, his hand moving from yours to your waist, pulling you closer to him, his other hand on the side of your face. You smiled at the feeling of him pulling you closer, everyone you knew-well actually everyone you cared about-already knew about the two of you, and at this point, you didn’t care anymore.

You pulled away, smiling at him. “Y’know people can see us right? Miss I don’t date white boys” you rolled your eyes at him “I guess you really are the exception huh? Mister I fight everyone who says anything bad about y/n” “for the record, I didn’t throw the first punch-” “Stop lying Topper” “-okay I did throw the first punch, but Rafe threw the second one” “wow that makes me feel so much better, I definitely won’t murder the both of you in your sleep!” he laughed at you.

You leaned in to kiss him again, but you heard your name being called, making you turn around, seeing your mother and father driving up on a golf cart. Your father’s brows raised in shock and your mother had a content smile on her face. You looked at Topper, eyes wide, moving back slightly, except he didn’t let you, when you spun around he pulled you back, standing between his legs, his arms around your waist.

“Topper I don’t know what to do right now” he placed a light kiss to your clothed shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay” you were nervous, you watched your father park the cart, looking at your mother, your mother raised her brows at him expectantly. You were confused about the interaction, but when your father got out of the cart, your mother quickly followed, making sure to wrap an arm around his. The both of them stood in front of you and Topper, your mother shooting him a small smile before focusing her attention onto your father.

You were stiff, in the moment, afraid of what was about to be said.

“Y/n, we’re going home, don’t argue with me” you were about to open your mouth but your mother shook her head at you, you knew she was going to help you with talking to your father, the look she gave you told you that much. You nodded your head, turning your head slightly and mumbling for Topper to let you go. He obliged-not before mumbling “It’s gonna be okay”. You gave him another look then followed your parents, spotting Rafe and Kelce on the walk out, passing him Sarah’s keys-telling him to drive her car back to their house. He nodded his head, the both of them making sure to acknowledge your parents in a respectful manner then made his way back towards Topper. Kelce shot you an apologetic look then followed behind Rafe.

The drive home was silent, the walk into the house was silent, the walk into your father's office was silent. Then he sat down, you sat in front of the desk, your mother in the seat next to you, holding your hand.

“The Thornton Boy? If I recall correctly a few weeks ago you told me that the two of you were just friends, now I have to see my own daughter kissing him on a golf cart-while he’s covered in bruises like a hoodlum. Have you no shame? Or respect for this family?” you bit your lip while he spoke, his tone was serious, and venomous.

“Do you understand that he will never understand you? That the two of you come from different walks of life. There is nothing you have in common with him-and there’s no way that he’s worth any of your time. You have no idea how disappointed I am with you right now, for you to go behind my back, lie to me, and break the one rule that I’ve set in place for you. I don’t even want to think that you’re whoring yourself out to him” you pulled your lip between your teeth, holding your tears back.

You’d never heard your father speak to you in this manner. It hurt you, It hurt to hear him call you a disappointment, to confirm all of your fears. But you were tired-tired of sacrificing your own happiness for his. Topper made you happy, happier than any other guy had ever made you. He’d always made you happy, even when you were kids he made you happy.

“He makes me happy” your voice sounded small, but it didn’t break. Your mother’s grip on your hand tightened. She took a deep breath. “Don’t speak to our daughter that way.” he scoffed “Excuse me? The one rule-the one rule I made to ensure that she’s safe, protected, and happy in the long run. She breaks it, whoring herself out to the son of two uptight pieces of shit that don’t understand what it’s like to struggle for anything”

“He protects me and keeps me safe” your father looked at you. “Are you trying to chastise me right now?” “Let her speak” your mother's tone caught you and your father off guard, he immediately backed down, she was the only one that could make him turn into a dog with its tail between its legs.

“The reason he was covered in bruises is because he fought some guys at the course that said some racist things about me. He’s always done it since we were kids. He’s always gotten in fights for me, he’s always the first person to make sure I’m okay-no matter how much I push him away-he’s always there.” your tears were falling now. You were hurt, hurt that your father wouldn’t change, hurt that he’d said those things about you.

“Don’t you get it. He makes me happy! He makes me happy Dad. I’ve been ignoring him and my feelings for him for my entire life. I’ve spent years trying to make him hate me just to keep you happy. I’ve sacrificed my own happiness for yours-time and time again. Only for you to say that I’m whoring myself out to a guy I’ve known since the fifth grade. A guy that sees me for me”

He scoffed at you, rolling his eyes, slamming his hand on the desk “Don’t you understand that you’re eighteen, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t even see you for you yet. You’re saying you’ve sacrificed so much for me? Do you know what I’ve sacrificed for you? To keep you happy? To make sure you didn’t go through what I went through as a kid, just for you to act like an ungrateful whore? You’re either part of this family, or you’re with that boy. Pick one”

Your mother cut him off “This isn’t about the sacrifices we’ve made. Those are two different things. We’ve worked our asses off for this family and you know damn well that she’s very appreciative of that. Don’t you try to throw shit in my baby’s face because you’re mad. And don’t call her out of her name-my grandmother's name-or disrespect her again. Need I remind you that I’m the one who sacrificed the most for this family. You will not treat my daughter like a redheaded step child because of a stupid fucking rule.”

Your father was silent. She was right, your mother gave up everything, risked everything she had to get a loan for their business. She took more risks than your father, and she didn’t have a relationship with her parents because of it. They hated your father, they said he had too many dreams and nothing to back them up, told her that he was a waste of her time. They gave her the same ultimatum at nineteen, and she chose your father.

“You’ve gone too far with this rule. The rule is bullshit, and it’s void. You will not be sacrificing OUR daughter’s happiness at the extent of your own and your own prejudices. He’s a good kid, and he’s been looking out for her for a long time. I trust Topper and he’s an amazing fit for my baby. If you have an issue with any of what I just said, feel free to pack a bag and get a room at the hotel by the course. You will not give our daughter an ultimatum like my father did to me.”

She stood up, still holding your hand and motioned for you to follow her.

The two of you sat on your bed, her arm wrapped around you while you cried. She talked to you, soothed you, and let you cry. She let you tell her all about the times when Topper pissed you off to no end, or the times that he made you smile so hard it hurt. She listened to you and let you express your emotions, instead of keeping them bottled up-trying to repress them.

A few hours went by, your father leaning on your door frame, he sighed, looking at you. Your mother was still mad at him, but he knew he had to say it. He didn’t want to, but he knew it was what was right.

“Y/N, I love you, you’re my only daughter and I want you to be happy, and if the Thornton boy makes you happy, then be with him.” with that he walked away.

You smiled against your mother's shoulder, knowing your father had never been good with apologies, but his words meant a lot to you.

--Taglist--

@socialwriter @p0gue420 @stfukie @pit-zuh @rae131415 @wtfstarkey @starkeymarkey @drewstarkeyobx @ilovejjmaybank @outrbank @angvelics @yourlocalauthor @letsgofullkook @queenk00k @kook-kid @jjmbanks @jjmaybcnks @jjsmentalpolaroids @softstarkey @downbytheouterbanks @drewsephsmiles @kiarasgold @ptersparkers ers @butgilinsky @iamaunicorn4704 @copper-boom

#topper thornton #topper obx #topper #topper outer banks #topper thornton outer banks #topper thronton x reader #topper thornton x reader #topper thornton x y/n #topper thornton fanfic #topper thornton fic #topper thorton angst #topper thornton fluff

87 notes · View notes