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the-force-awakens · 3 months

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Thinking about what a sweet, kind, silly and gentle hearted person Poe is until you piss him off and once that switch is flipped, he's a force to be reckoned with

Oh, did you mean? my most favorite? facet? of his character? that makes me lose my marbles? and also happens to be maybe my favorite character trope of all time? that? Okay I hope you were expecting an infodump because what-ho! that's what's happening, I have come prepared and with receipts, let's fucking go on how Poe Dameron is a goddamned force of nature and how the galaxy should be really fucking thankful his loyalty is first and foremost to the Resistance and to the Light, because if it wasn't...well, I'd dread to think, but it wouldn't be good for anyone else.

The fun thing for me, is that it has always been a part of Poe's character, right from The Force Awakens -- it's subtle, but it's there, hidden between the sassy quips in the face in danger and the professionality of Commander Dameron; little fleeting moments that tell you that Poe Dameron is not someone to be trifled with at all, including one of his very first scenes:

I'm 90% certain that Poe's gaze actually lands first on Tekka's body here, before lifting it up to glare at Ren - and that's more than just a defiant glare, that's a look of loathing. Which fits, considering that I do believe the Force Awakens novelization confirms that Poe rushes in without thinking, and acts on sheer anger/rage when he goes to shoot Ren after Ren kills Tekka.

(More lengthy thoughts under the cut, I was not kidding, I saved a dozen images for this).

And that look is far from the only moment in TFA that clearly goes "oh. yeah, Poe can be scary when he wants to be", there's this frankly delightful moment during the trench run when Poe sees a fellow pilot perish while covering him:

and then moments later, when Poe flies into the heart of Starkiller to destroy the oscillator, we get this shot:

that's far more than just determination/focus, he's angry. and he has every goddamned right to be - he was just held captive and tortured for (??) days, and this monstrosity just destroyed an entire fucking planetary system, and the very Republic that Poe has spent his entire adult life believing the inherent values of, that he thought could genuinely improve. Never mind the detail that Poe probably likely spent time on the Hosnian System, if he didn't live there temporarily during his time in the Defense Fleet.

But these shots makes it clear where the comic gets the idea from that the First Order might, y'know, actually be. A little bit terrified of Poe Dameron:

He's a serious threat, and ruthless when it comes to the First Order. People joke a lot about Poe being reckless, but I don't see a lot of recognition for the fact that he can be ruthless - he sees point b and dives straight at it, and he's absolutely relentless in his determination to take the First Order down.

The quickest possible way to enrage Poe is inaction or injustice. We see this clearly in the Last Jedi, when he believes Holdo is essentially leading them to their deaths and has thrown the Resistance away:

but we also see it as far back as Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka:

This conversation carries on for a page or so more, I think, with Poe arguing against the New Republic's decision to not act or investigate further (it's also what prompts him into going rogue to investigate on his own, which leads Leia into recruiting him for the Resistance).

And we've even seen it in material as recent as Free Fall, which means this is a character trait Poe has had his entire life:

(these do not paint my girl in a great light but like she's fucked up okay!! and being groomed into taking her mother's place it's fine, it's fine, she's my fucked up little blorbo)

anyway. so this is Poe when he's, probably about 16? 16 going on 17 here, and this is probably the angriest he's ever been considering how shocked he is about the chill in his own voice (which if you were ever curious why I say Poe's anger runs cold, it's because of this scene right here). He's so enraged by the injustice being carried out by Sotin, that he's genuinely - for the first time in the book - considering actually killing someone. And he gets into a screaming match about what the right decision is with Zorii.

(he also gets to punch Sotin later, by the way, if you even care. It's glorious. I love my favorite character who decides murder is okay if said murder is in question a guy who deals in the slave trade)

But also.

My favorite instance of this, ever, which rewrote my fucking goddamned brainchemistry in 2017 when I read it and made me have to step away from my computer and honest to god pace the length of my house to walk it off, is his confrontation with Terex in issue #13 of the Poe comics.

Because you know what?

This entire fucking exchange is personal, and almost/pretty much outright vindictive? Like at this point, Poe has solidly won this round - Terex has finally been defeated, and all Poe has to do is hand him over to the First Order. He knows, in doing so, Terex will likely be killed, and after who knows how long of Terex's bullshit meaning Poe couldn't trust his squadron, and the fact that L'ulo just died - well, Poe's not real broken up about it, which is fun in itself.

But then he asks Malarus if he can have a moment with Terex before he hands him over and Poe....uses that moment to gloat.

And y'all know me i don't use words like that for Poe but like. he kind of does? he asks a moment alone with terex specifically so that he can taunt Terex that he won, that Terex didn't beat him, and that in trying to take Poe down, Terex cost himself everything (a fact Poe happily rubs in his face), and even adds that "and when I give you to the First Order, I bet they'll take the rest."

So like. Yeah.

Poe knew full well they'd likely kill him, and spends the next few issues full heartedly believing that Terex was dead. And he taunts Terex with it here in this moment. It is TRULY glorious and honestly had 17 year old me's little head spinning because it was such a subversion of what I thought Poe would do -- but he did! He didn't try to figure out a way to spare Terex's life, and he used his final moments with Terex to make sure Terex knew that Poe was fully aware of what the choice he was making meant.

It's fucking DELICIOUS.

And I also love this panel from earlier into the issue:

Because again, it's a great illustration of how Poe can come off cold because of the art choices Phil Noto made here: look at the jacket. It's zipped up all the way to Poe's neck (a rarity for Poe), and just generally gives him this very closed off, cold appearance because he's at his wit's end in this issue, and he is angry about the circumstances Terex has forced him into.

So...yeah. Poe Dameron is a sweet, compassionate, silly guy who makes the worst fucking puns you've ever heard this side of the galaxy. He loves his droid, wears his mother's wedding ring with the intent to give it to the right partner someday, and loves all of his friends full heartedly and is generally the most tactile, affectionate person you will ever meet. He's pretty much everyone's best friend, because he has that kind of charisma and ability to make anyone feel like they're the most important person in the galaxy.

But Poe Dameron is also the man that the First Order seems genuinely intimidated/afraid of. He's the man that destroyed Starkiller base, and toppled the most powerful crime syndicate in the galaxy when he was just 17 years old. He is not someone you ever, ever want to piss off, because for all his warmth and love, Poe has an anger that runs cold, and when he hates something - it's just like when he loves something, he doesn't go half-way.

General Organa isn't the only Resistance general that can be absolutely terrifying in her own right as much as she can be gentle and loving. It's just that Leia's the only one anyone ever notices, because...well, Poe's silly and funny and usually kind of easy going.

And the fact that people underestimate him is what makes him that much more dangerous.

#userorb #ask box #my meta #poe dameron #listen. listen. he's SWEET and he's charming but also ongod the first order is /afraid/ of him and can you REALLY blame them #the best fucking trope in the world is the silly goofy soft characters that also can make that switch #to like. stealing from doctor who now. to going full oncoming storm #it's WONDERFUl #i love it so much we need more instances with this trope #flashing gif #death mention cw

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singledarkshade · 6 years

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Memory Wipe

Part Nine

Amy would never forget the moment she realised that she truly loved Rory Williams.

She always knew she cared for him. She couldn’t go a day without talking to him no matter how innocuous the conversation was. She agreed to marry him, even if she’d managed to hold off the actual day by flying away in a time machine, and was happy about it.

Rory had always been there, he would do anything for her and she knew it, in some ways she took advantage of him because of it.

But the moment she thought he was gone, when she thought he had been turned to dust by an alien creature and there was a possibility she would never see him ever again Amy knew she couldn’t live without him.

She remembered the kiss he gave her when he realised that she had basically killed herself and the Doctor so she could see him again.

The joy and love in it meant she knew he would always be by her side.

Except now he wasn’t.

He was in the hands of a madwoman who had already turned him into a child sending him to live another life away from her.

“Here,” Sara placed a mug in front of her, “I thought you might want some tea.”

Amy gave the other woman a sad smile, “Thank you.”

“We’ll get him back,” Sara told her, “Trust me we’re not going to let that woman get away with this.”

“What’s he like?” Amy asked thoughtfully.

Sara frowned a little confused, “Who?”

“Rip Hunter,” Amy clarified, “I know Rory but I only met him as Rip when he was under the influence of Thawne and I wasn’t me.”

A smile touched Sara’s lips, “Intense, intelligent, annoying, loyal. I trust him with my life and I am going to smack him upside the head when we get him back for going with the madwoman.”

Amy laughed softly, “You’ll have to get in line behind me.”

“I guess you have seniority,” Sara conceded before asking, “What’s Rory like?”

“Sweet, caring, patient, the best man I have ever known,” Amy smiled again before sighing, “Does he know I picked him?”

“What?” Sara asked confused.

“I need him to know that I chose him over the Doctor,” Amy rubbed her hand over her face, “He believed that he loved me more than I love him. I need him to know that isn’t true, that I chose him, that I’ll always choose him.”

Sara reached out and took Amy’s hand, “If he doesn’t know then he will once we get him back.”

Gripping the mug Amy drank her tea as Sara left her alone with her thoughts once more.

From the moment he’d seen Amelia Jessica Pond, Rory had been in love.

True he’d barely been seven years old and had no concept of what love was. All he knew was that when his mum had dragged him round to meet the new people in the village on behalf of the village council, because Mrs Hepworth was visiting her sister, he saw an angel.

Amelia wasn’t happy to be taken from her home to come to live in Leadworth and definitely didn’t want to make friends with the boy whose mother was talking with hers.

She soon realised though that she had a very willing partner in crime who followed her lead with little complaint.

As they grew up Rory remained completely loyal to his flame haired angel hoping one day she would look at him the way he looked at her.

Finally she did, even though it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his entire life when she found out how he felt for her.

Their first kiss happened a few days later.

Rory had avoided Amy for three days still totally mortified by what had happened but his gran needed a lift to the church fete with her home-baking so he was forced out of hiding. He helped her empty the boot before he sat in his car brooding. Suddenly Amy climbed into the passenger seat and without a word kissed him as the Macarena played on the radio.

Rip held onto these memories while pain shot through his body as he hung from the ceiling by his wrists.

“You know this can end,” Druce told him, “All you have to do is agree to help us.”

Rip slowly raised his head, “Go to hell.”

Druce punched him and Rip’s head snapped to the side blood welling up in his mouth, spitting out the blood he glared at the man he’d once called friend.

“So you’ve become someone else’s lackey now Savage is dead,” Rip snarled at him, “The great Time Master Druce nothing but a lapdog.”

The next punch broke one of his ribs, Rip focussed on taking shallow breaths ignoring the man taunting him about his failures, about Miranda, about Jonas.

“If you don’t do what we want,” Druce’s voice filtered through the pain, “Then we will have to find another way. I’m sure Amy will make you much more co-operative.”

Rip turned his full attention on the man standing there, his eyes dark with anger before he began to laugh.

“If you think the Doctor will let her out of his sight until this is over,” Rip smirked at him, “You’re even more of an idiot than I thought. The Doctor will come and he will lay waste to whatever plans you’ve made, probably making quite a few bad puns as he does. You have no idea what you’re up against.”

Druce stared at him, “You’re waiting to be rescued.”

“I’m not the one he comes for,” Rip snarled, the broken rib making it painful to talk, “But you took Amy from him, you took us from our daughter and he’s not called the ‘Oncoming Storm’ for nothing,” he let out a harsh laugh, “With him will come the Legends and you’ve pissed off almost every one of them. All I have to do is stand and hold their coats.”

Druce turned away for a moment and picked up a taser stick.

“If you’re still alive when they get here, Rip,” he replied with a sinister smile, “You’re only useful to us if you give us what we want.”

Pain pulsed through him and Rip let out a cry before he let unconsciousness take him once more.

*********************************************

“No, no, no, no, no.”

River winced when the Doctor kicked the console in frustration, it had been several hours since they’d returned and they were no closer to picking up Rory’s tracker signal than they had been when they first arrived.

“Doctor,” she said softly, “Perhaps you should take a break.”

The Doctor dropped his head, “I can’t stop. I can’t lose Rory again, River. I can’t let Amy lose him again. I can’t let you lose him.”

“And you’re not,” she assured him, “But you’re not going to be any use to him if you collapse from exhaustion.”

He dropped into the seat and sighed, “Rory’s first death was because he pushed me out of the way. I had to drag Amy into the TARDIS to get us to safety while she screamed for him,” he scrubbed his hand through his hair, “Then I had to try to get her to hold onto his memory because he was pulled into one of the cracks.”

“I didn’t know,” she whispered crouching beside him.

The Doctor rested his hand on her cheek, “Your father, bravest man I have ever known and one of the best friends I have ever had. I can’t let him down.”

Taking his hand River smiled, “I know you won’t.”

Taking a deep breath the Doctor stood once more, “Let’s try this once more.”

Sara grabbed a bottle of water taking deep breaths to settle herself. She’d come down to work out for a while needing to do something to get rid of the excess energy that came from feeling so completely useless.

She knew she should have done something. Rip was her friend she shouldn’t have let him walk into what they all knew was a trap. Hearing a noise she turned and found Amy standing.

“Sorry,” the redhead said softly, “I was just walking...”

Sara smiled as she trailed off, “It’s not a problem. You’re welcome to wander. Gideon will stop you going anywhere restricted.”

“Thanks,” Amy gave a tight smile.

Sara nodded, she grabbed a towel turning back to find Amy holding her staff and tentatively going through a few positions with it.

“Can you use that?” Sara asked interested.

Amy shrugged, “I think so. My memories were altered. I don’t know what’s real right now.”

Picking up the spare staff Sara took up a defensive position, “Okay, show me what you remember.”

Hesitantly Amy attacked becoming a little more confident in her moves after a few minutes.

“Good,” Sara said, “Widen your stance a little.”

Following the instructions Amy attacked again.

Amy accepted the bottle of water from Sara feeling more than a little stunned that she could actually fight like that. All the time she’d spent with the Doctor she had learned some skills but nothing like this.

Rory knew how to use a sword and, despite pretending that he didn’t, Amy was well aware of how often he would go through training drills to ensure he didn’t get rusty.

“It looks like whatever the training was,” Sara told her, “Either it was real or you had some amazing memories implanted but you have some skill and apparently muscle memory. Once we get Rip back if you like I can set up a proper training routine we can work with.”

Amy hesitated, she’d just assumed that they would go home once she got Rory back and they were safe. She hadn’t thought that the people here would want him to stay with them. Anguish filled her as she remembered that Rory now had a full life that had absolutely nothing to do with her. What if she didn’t fit into it?

Finally she gave Sara a small nod, “Thanks.”

“Captain Lance, Mrs Williams,” Gideon spoke up suddenly, “The Doctor has requested you come to the TARDIS.”

“We’re on our way, Gideon,” Sara replied as she and Amy headed into the corridor.

*********************************************

He was cold and alone.

All he had in the world was a knife. It helped him steal which meant he at least got some food to stay alive.

Then she came.

Kind and gentle, she gave him food wrapping a blanket around him to keep him warm, gathering him up taking him to the Time Masters who gave him purpose.

For the first time he could remember he was clean, warm, well-fed and felt safe.

“I thought you said we needed him to have all his memories?” Druce asked as he watched Missy manipulate the man’s dreams.

“We do,” she replied, “But it should work if he is in a dream-state.”

Druce nodded, “How long will this take?”

“We’ll need to go through this process a few more times,” Missy smiled slowly, “Once he wakens then you can repeat your little display of male bravado. Being injured makes it easier for me to work with his dreams.”

Druce nodded, “Trust me I’m more than happy to torture the arrogant little bastard. He destroyed everything I worked for.”

With an amused chuckle Missy turned back to watching the dreams sliding around the mind of her captive.

This would be fun.

*********************************************

The Doctor looked up when Amy and Sara walked onto the TARDIS.

“Have you found him yet?” Amy demanded as she reached the console.

“No,” the Doctor told her, “But,” he added quickly before she could say anything, “I have an idea”

“Which is?” Sara asked before Amy could.

The Doctor smiled slightly, “You two.”

The two women shared a confused look before turning back to him questioningly.

“I need the two people who care about him most in each of his identities,” the Doctor explained, “Using the TARDIS we will try and create a psychic link which we can then use to track him.”

Sara looked at him confused, “Why me?”

“You care about Rip,” River noted appearing from nowhere.

Sara shrugged, “He’s my friend but technically Gideon is the closest to him as Rip.”

“Unfortunately Gideon is an AI so that won’t work,” the Doctor replied, “There is no way to create a psychic link.”

“You are our next option. You entered his mind to free him after Eobard Thawne altered his personality,” River told her, “You were the one to persuade him to fight back.”

Sara stared at them, “How do you know that?”

“Gideon told us,” the Doctor replied with a shrug.

River rested her hand on Sara’s arm, “Rory told her to provide us with any and all information we needed when we first arrived.”

Sara shook her head in annoyance, “Yes, I care about him. And we’ll be having words about him not telling me everything when we get him back,” she grimaced before adding, “After Amy’s finished with him.”

“Excellent,” the Doctor said, “Take a seat and River will plug you in.”

“Plug us in?” Amy demanded before Sara could.

River moved them to the two beanbags that were sitting in the middle of the floor, “To the TARDIS. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Really?” Sara winced as Amy took her seat.

River nodded, “The TARDIS is very fond of my father.”

Sara looked at the three of them and gave in, “Okay, plug me in.”

*********************************************

Rip cried out as the knife sliced along his ribs despite trying to keep silent. He was exhausted and his entire body ached. His mind felt cloudy as though filled with cotton wool and all he wanted to do was let go but he knew he couldn’t.

Another punch cracked his rib. He was almost sure the same rib had been broken already at some point then healed but he couldn’t remember when that was or how it happened.

He knew he needed to escape but he couldn’t remember where he was or who held him captive.

Rip tried to focus, tried to get his brain to shake the fog surrounding him but he couldn’t.

Pain shot through his body and he gave in slipping into the blackness once more.

But before he surrendered completely to unconsciousness he heard a woman’s voice, “This time let’s focus on Rory.”

Amy’s arms slid around his waist hugging him from behind as he stood at the TARDIS console. Rory smiled, turning to her and everything else disappeared as his wife kissed him softly.

“So,” she slid her hands into his back pockets, “The Doctor wants to know where we want to go now.”

“Wherever you want,” he smiled enjoying the small kisses she was pressing to his neck.

Amy pulled back and shook her head, “This time you get to choose. Come on,” she took his hand and pulled him over to the screen which showed a star map, “The Doctor says all he wants is for you to point to wherever you want to go.”

Rory hesitated, there was something odd about this but Amy distracted him by whispering in his ear, “Try and choose somewhere romantic.”

Shrugging he pointed to the top right corner of the screen, “Let’s try there.”

“Good boy,” Amy breathed pressing a kiss to his cheek.

The world tilted to one side and Rory fell into the darkness again.

Part Ten

#fic #doctor who #rory williams #amy pond #eleventh doctor #river song #missy #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #sara lance

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blueboxesandtrafficcones · 7 years

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The Doctor Thinks

After all, thinking’s just a fancy word for changing your mind.

What made 9 go back for Rose?

For @doctorroseprompts. Includes bonus matchmaker 13.

AO3

The Doctor scowled down into his chips, annoyed that after three months of travelling on his own, he still thought of that young London girl whose name he absolutely, definitely does not remember. Brooding, it takes him a moment to realize a woman has sat down across from him, only noticing when she steals a chip right out of his cup.

“Oi!” He objected, and the woman across from him smirked.

“Says a lot, doesn’t it?” She asked casually, taking another chip despite his attempted dodge.

“What does?” He grit out, irritated to have his brooding interrupted.

“River never liked chips.” She sighed, making less than no sense to the Doctor.

“Who’s River?” He decided that playing along would probably be the fastest way to get her away from his chips and leave him in peace.

“Exactly.” She brandished the chip like a sword.

“Can I help you?” He cut to the chase, giving her his best Oncoming Storm glare. Surprisingly, she only grinned in response.

“Yes, you can.” They leaned forward at the same time, arms crossed. With a start, the Doctor realized she had the same accent he currently did.

“Fine. Tell me how.”

“Go back.” She told him simply, looking at him as though that explained everything.

“Back?” He was understandably confused, chips now forgotten between them.

“Sometimes, people make choices not because they want to, but because they feel they should, and all they need is someone to ask twice. Plus, I believe there’s a minor detail you left out.” Unbidden, an image of Rose came to mind, though he didn’t think the woman could possibly know about her.

“Did I now? And what was that?”

The woman rose, looking down at him critically. “Sometimes, you have to start from the beginning. And this, this is a story that deserves to be told. Don’t muck it up.”

She went to leave, but got only a few steps away before turning back and taking the half-full chip cup. “Oh, and she definitely loves chips.”

Leaving the Doctor in an unusually stunned silence, it is not until she is out of sight that he comes back to himself. Deciding to take the strange woman’s advice to heart(s), he headed for the TARDIS, whistling all the way.

It is not until he is at the controls and catches sight of a sticky note he had left himself that most definitely was not the space-time coordinates for where he’d left that shopgirl whatshername, that the most important detail of his interaction with the woman hit him.

Their conversation was in High Gallifreyan.

Start from the beginning, she said. A minor detail left out.

The column flashed, and he understood.

TARDIS.

Time and Relative Dimension in Space.

He mentioned the space; did he tell her it did time as well?

He flipped the dematerialization lever, heading back to the alley where she hopefully still was, and realized that whoever and whatever this girl was, she was important enough for a future regeneration to come back and make sure he got her.

Never mind that the future regeneration was going to look like her.

#bbatcfic #doctorroseprompts #ficandchips #doctor who #9th doctor #13th doctor #The Doctor Thinks

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ofstormsandwolves · 7 years

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Confessions of a Disabled Dimension Hopper

Part 3 of nevertheless, she persisted

Metacrisis 10, Rose Tyler, Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler.

Amputation/ injury tw (actual injury/amputation takes place in a previous story, but obviously it still applies here)

Now Rose has got her Doctor, and she's back in Pete's World, she has a few confessions to make in regards to just what happened to her while in Pete's World. And the Doctor might not be too pleased with what he has to hear.

AO3 (account needed) | Whofic

Travelling by zeppelin was a slow and arduous journey. While the flight itself was peaceful and smooth enough, it was also almost horrifically slow in the Doctor’s newly-human eyes, and the way Rose kept shifting uncomfortably opposite him wasn’t helping.

There’d been a short trek from Bad Wolf Bay, up to a small nearby village where Jackie got them a taxi to Bergen, where they then headed for the zeppelin port. Pete had already booked them onto the earliest available flight after Jackie phoned him, and they were being treated to first-class service in the first class area of the zeppelin.

But something was still off.

Rose had been looking increasingly tired and uncomfortable since Bad Wolf Bay, and Jackie had asked her several times on the walk to the nearest village if she was alright. Rose had always responded with a tight-lipped smile and a nod, but the Doctor could tell something wasn’t right. Rose had been pleasant enough with him in the taxi ride to the zeppelin port, though; holding his hand in the back of the car and leaning against him comfortably, smiling up at him with the smile she only ever reserved for him.

Now, though, in the zeppelin, he couldn’t help but think something was wrong. Jackie kept giving Rose worried glances from across the aisle, Rose kept reaching for her right leg before catching his gaze and pulling her hand away. Had she maybe been injured before she’d reached him and Donna in the street?

“Rose?” he finally managed, voice sounding surprisingly broken and vulnerable even to himself.

Her head shot up, and Jackie’s head swivelled to stare at him.

“I’m fine,” Rose told him, forcing a smile that didn’t reach her eyes as she pre-empted his question.

“Are you?” he countered.

Across the aisle, Jackie looked away uncomfortably. The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. They were hiding something from him.

“Yeah,” Rose said, and she sounded a little more certain, a little more confident. “Just a little tired, ‘s all. Achy. It’s been a long day.”

The Doctor, however, wasn’t convinced. “Is that it?” he asked, sparing another brief glance at Jackie, who was pointedly ignoring them.

Rose, instead of answering, shifted uncomfortably in her chair. There was a long silence, before suddenly Jackie pushed herself to her feet, muttering something about needing tea, before rushing off towards the bar at the back of the first class area. The Doctor and Rose watched her go, both a little perplexed, before the Doctor turned his attention back to Rose.

“Rose? Are you sure there’s nothing else?”

Rose blinked at him, maintaining his gaze for several long moments before she glanced away.

“No,” she said at last. “There’s... There’s something I need to tell you. I have a confession.”

~0~0~

The Doctor blinked.

“Doctor?” Rose prompted worriedly from her seat opposite him.

He blinked again, pulling his gaze from her leg to her face. “You were hurt.”

Rose smiled gently at him. “Yeah,” she agreed quietly. “But I’m alright. I survived. Dad was hurt too, but we both made full recoveries.” She stared down at her prosthetic leg, the leg of her trousers still pushed up to reveal the carbon fibre prosthetic beneath. “Well, almost.”

She gave him another smile, but instead the Doctor’s face darkened.

“Did Pete know that you would be injured?” he asked, and his voice was suddenly low and as dark as his face. The Oncoming Storm, Rose knew. “Did he know that he could have killed you?”

Rose’s face dropped. “He... He knew that it was a risk,” she admitted slowly. “Torchwood had a one person per hopper policy, it’s why Mickey hadn’t taken me away when we were trapped in the lever room. He... He suggested sending me to Pete’s World, but said it could only carry one. When Dad came back for me, he didn’t realise just how bad it would be, though. He thought it was some health and safety thing the tech guys had insisted on; that it was just a precaution and would mean it would just be a bit rougher than usual. It wasn’t... It wasn’t until we were back here and the breach was closed that he realised just how dangerous it was.”

The Doctor’s jaw clenched. “So he could have killed you because he wouldn’t listen to instructions.” He scoffed. “I thought he was supposed to be the head of Torchwood? What kind of leadership is that?”

Rose frowned at him then, taking in the tense body language and angry eyes of the man opposite her. “Doctor, if Dad hadn’t done anything, I’d have fallen into the Void. Yeah, I was hurt, but at least I’m here! At least I’m alive!”

Her words seemed to soften him somewhat, the anger giving way to worry in his eyes, but Rose still watched him carefully.

“He still left you physically disabled, Rose. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad he was there to stop you from falling into the Void, but you were still hurt.”

“Yeah,” Rose nodded, “and so was Dad. Not quite as badly as me, but still bad. And he regrets what he thinks he did to me every day, Doctor. So don’t you dare take it out on him when we get back to London. If you’d been in his position, if it had been a choice between losing me forever, or saving me and possibly hurting me, which would you choose?”

The Doctor hung his head then, and his response was so quiet that Rose barely heard it. But she did, just about. “I’d save you.”

After another long moment, Rose sighed, pushing herself to her feet to instead take up the seat beside the Doctor. When they’d boarded the zeppelin, Rose had wanted to be able to see him at all times, had been wanting to be sure he was really there, so she’d chosen to sit opposite him. But now she wanted to be as close as possible to him, to be able to hold his hand, cuddle into his side.

He seemed to want the same thing, as he immediately put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“I’m alright, Doctor, I promise,” she told him softly, angling herself so she could look up at him. “I still built the Dimension Cannon, and found you, and work for Torchwood. I still did all those things, an’ it didn’t hold me back.” She paused. “It hurts sometimes, like now. Bit of an ache. And it’s rubbed a bit. I probably overdid it, with all the runnin’ and the fighting Daleks an’ everything.” She gave him a smile. “But I’m fine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly, brow furrowed slightly. “When I said goodbye to you on the beach, years ago. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Rose shrugged. “Because it wouldn’t have done any good. I mean, telling you what had happened would’ve just made you feel bad, an’ I’m alright. I mean, I’ve come to terms with it, an’ I knew pretty much immediately that amputation was the only option. So telling you wouldn’t have done anything but upset you.”

The Doctor had no response.

~0~0~

By the time they’d reached London, Jackie had somewhat sheepishly returned to her seat after spending an unreasonable amount of time ‘getting tea’ at the bar. The Doctor and Rose remained sat next to each other, and disembarked the zeppelin hand in hand upon arrival.

Pete was waiting beside a sleek black Lexus to take them back to the mansion, a blonde-haired toddler in his arms who couldn’t be much more than one blinking at them with big brown eyes.

“Doctor,” Pete greeted, holding his hand out to the other man as he drew near.

The Doctor glanced at Pete’s outstretched hand, before glancing at Rose, who nudged him. After a somewhat awkward pause, the Doctor shook the other man’s hand, but said nothing.

Pete shifted awkwardly. “Rose, uh, told you then.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. It was the only possible reason why the Doctor would be acting so cold towards him.

“I did,” Rose agreed quietly, watching as Jackie took her baby brother in her arms, cooing gently to him. “I explained everything, Dad.”

Pete nodded then, watching the other man carefully. “You know I wouldn’t willingly put Rose in danger, Doctor?”

There was another long pause, and the Doctor gave him a hard stare. “I’d hope not.”

Suddenly, Jackie was forcing a big smile, herding everyone towards the car. “You know what I could do with, Pete? A nice hot meal! Feels like ages since I’ve had a hot meal. How does takeaway sound? Doctor? What about Chinese?”

Before any of them really knew what had happened, Jackie had somehow herded them into the car, Tony was strapped into his car seat, and Rose was wedged between her baby brother and the Doctor in the backseat while Jackie and Pete were in the front.

“Don’t you have your own place?” the Doctor whispered to Rose, looking a little desperate.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “No. I still live with Mum and Dad. Was thinking of maybe getting my own place, but Mum liked me being nearby, what with my leg and all. Even after working on Project Nova and the Dimension Cannon, she preferred me to stay at home.” She paused, glanced over at her little brother, who was babbling to himself in his car seat. “And then I wasn’t expecting to come back here after the Dimension Cannon started up, and, well...” She shrugged, trailing off.

“So I’ve got to spend the night at your parents’ place,” the Doctor murmured, looking a little worried at the thought.

Rose grinned then, the tongue-touched smile reserved only for him. Oh, how he’d missed that smile.

“Afraid so,” she told him softly, stealing a glance at her parents and accidentally catching her mum’s eye in the rear view mirror. The two Tyler women shared a smile. “But if you want, we’ll start looking for somewhere for the two of us, yeah? I get enough working for Torchwood, even when they had me stuck behind a desk.”

“You on a desk job?” the Doctor echoed, smiling for the first time possibly since the beach. “I’d have liked to see that.”

“Oh, shut up!” Rose snorted. “I wasn’t any worse than you’d have been!”

The Doctor tilted his head to the side at that. “Well,” he said after a long moment, “maybe not. But I’d still have liked to see it.”

~0~0~

“I thought I was doing the right thing.”

The Doctor blinked, and looked down at Rose, who was leaning against his chest. Jackie and Pete were upstairs putting Tony to bed, and he and Rose were alone in the sitting room. The telly was on, but neither of them were really watching it, and Rose had instead leaned back against the Doctor’s chest and closed her eyes. She’d taken her prosthetic off after dinner, and the Doctor had assumed she’d fallen asleep. But apparently not.

“By not telling you,” she clarified at his pause. “I thought I was doing the right thing not telling you about the accident. And, I suppose, I didn’t want to admit it. That admitting it to you would be admitting it to myself.”

“But you said you’d come to terms with it,” the Doctor reminded her in confusion. “You said you were alright with it.”

“Yeah,” Rose nodded, “but that doesn’t mean that in my head I wasn’t expecting to return to you and everything be how it was before. And telling you about my leg would mean things would change, and that maybe you’d think I couldn’t travel with you anymore, that I wouldn’t be able to keep up, or that I’d... I dunno, that I’d be a liability.”

The Doctor watched as she picked at a loose thread on her t-shirt rather than look round at him. She didn’t want to see his reaction, he realised. She was scared of what he might say.

“Rose,” he said finally, “I’d never think you’re a liability. And yes, things would change; they’d have to change, at least a bit. But that wouldn’t have meant I wouldn’t want you travelling with me. Besides, you’ve worked for Torchwood, you travelled dimensions. You more than proved yourself.”

She made a small noise, but he couldn’t tell if she was agreeing or not.

“Dad didn’t want me on a field team,” she told him quietly, suddenly. “Was worried I’d get hurt, or that it would be too much and my prosthetic would constantly rub, or something. He only put me on Project Nova because they needed the help. If the stars hadn’t started going out, he’d have left me on my desk job.” She paused. “He wouldn’t even give me the chance to prove I was still capable, that I could still cope and that I could handle being on a field team. By the time I did the first dimension jump, I was terrified. I’d been out of action for so long, an’ I was worried it would all go wrong.”

The Doctor sighed at that, rubbing her arm gently. “You needed to prove your capabilities to yourself, as well as Pete and Jackie,” he said knowingly. “You needed to take the risk, take a leap of faith and see if you were still the same person as you were before.”

Rose nodded, turning her head slightly but still not fully looking at him. “I’m not, though, Doctor. I’m not the same person. The previous me, the old me, wouldn’t have been scared about doing those dimension jumps. I’d have just done it. But every time I landed, I was terrified of where I was, of what might happen. And every time I jumped I had this... This panic that it was going to go wrong, an’ that I was going to get hurt again.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “But you didn’t.”

“No,” she agreed quietly. “But I could have.” She turned fully then, twisting her legs round and beneath her so she could turn and look at him, kneeling on her knees. “Are we actually doing this?”

The Doctor frowned in confusion, a portion of his mind taken up more with concern about whether or not the position she was in was good for her stump or not. She seemed comfortable enough, but he couldn’t be certain her sitting like that was a good idea, and desperately tried to recall distant medical training. A larger portion of his brain eventually latched onto Rose’s words and processed them.

“Doing what?” he asked.

“Us,” Rose told him. “Me and you. Being together. Getting a place together. Being a couple.”

“Oh,” he blinked. “Don’t you want to?” His heart sank.

“I do!” Rose responded quickly, wide-eyed. “I really do! It’s just... I don’t know. If we’re actually doing this, being together and in a relationship, I need to talk to you about my job.”

The Doctor blinked again.

“I don’t know if I want to carry it on. I mean, I love it, don’t get me wrong, but the dimension jumps. They, well, they really scared me. Not the places I ended up, not really, but the actual physical jumps. Actually having to do them scared me.”

“Well, they would,” the Doctor agreed slowly. “You were injured, doing a dimension jump. It’s only reasonable that you’d be anxious about them after that.” He paused, studied her carefully. “But do you really want to give up Torchwood for that reason? You won’t ever have to do another dimension jump again, Rose. Your dimension hopping days are over. And I don’t want you to give up a job you love because of something you won’t ever have to go through again. Being on a field team won’t require you to do anything like that. And if you don’t even want to do field work, then go back to your desk job. If you don’t feel like you can do field work, and you don’t want to do desk work, then I fully support you leaving that job. But don’t quit because of something you never have to do again, alright?”

At some point while he was speaking, he belatedly realised, Rose had begun to cry. But she was smiling too, and looking so relieved, and he realised that it was something that had clearly been weighing heavily on her mind since she’d realised she would remain in Pete’s World. The anxieties had scared her so much about the dimension jumps had clearly left their mark, and they would remain for some time, whether she worked for Torchwood or not. But, hopefully, Rose wouldn’t make any rash decisions solely on those anxieties now that he was with her and more than willing to help.

“I’ll think about it,” she said at last, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’ve not even said anything to Dad. I mean, I don’t really know what I wanna do, I don’t think. Today’s been... A lot to take in.”

“It has,” the Doctor agreed gently, pulling her closer. “But take your time, and think it through. I’m sure your dad can wait a few days while you make your decision.”

Rose nodded, and twisted back round to sit down again, before letting her head fall back against his chest.

~0~0~

It was quarter to three in the morning and the Doctor couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t that he wasn’t tired, he just couldn’t seem to manage it.

Maybe it was his newly-human body. Maybe it was his still-Time Lord brain, unaccustomed with needing so much rest. Maybe it was everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, still whirring about in his bigger-on-the-inside brain. Being created by Donna, telling Rose how he felt about her on the beach, the zeppelin ride home when Rose had confessed she’d kept a monumental secret from him. The first meeting with Pete after finding out he had (accidentally) caused Rose’s injuries, the tense dinner that had subsequently followed, and Rose’s wide-eyed baby brother staring curiously at him before bursting into tears the moment the Doctor tried to speak to him. Then, the conversation in the sitting room with Rose, where she confessed to being so scared her disability would mean he would no longer see her as the same person, that he might not want her, and that her injuries had changed her. That the dimension jumps she’d performed while searching for him had all been their own unique kind of hell for Rose, still terrified of history repeating itself and her being injured on another jump. Of Rose confessing that the initial jump to Pete’s World just over two years previously had left her questioning if she wanted to work for Torchwood at all.

Lying in bed was doing him no good, so he quietly and carefully extracted himself from Rose’s bed and headed downstairs. Perhaps a glass of water, or cup of tea was needed. Or, worst came to worst, he’d read yesterday’s newspaper.

But when he reached the kitchen, the Doctor found someone else was already there. Sat in the dark room, at the breakfast table, was the silhouette of a man.

“Hello, Doctor,” Pete said in the dark. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“No,” the Doctor responded, his newly-human eyes taking a little longer to adjust to the lack of light. But then they did, and he could just make out Pete’s voice as his feet carried him across the room to the table.

Pete gestured for him to pull out a chair, and he did. The two men sat opposite each other, just staring.

“I know you probably hate me right now,” Pete said after a long moment. “And I can’t say I blame you.”

The Doctor said nothing.

“You know I’d have never deliberately endangered Rose’s life, Doctor? I would never have risked her life. But Jackie was distraught, and I’ve seen what those Cybermen can do. You know that. I watched them take my wife, and turn her into one of them. And all I could think was, if your plan failed, if for whatever reason it didn’t work, the same would happen to Rose. And I couldn’t let that happen. So I made a decision, in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t think it through, and Rose was hurt because of it. And I regret that every day, Doctor. But she’s alive. She’s alive, and she’s safe, and she’s been so amazing. She’s worked so hard at everything. At Torchwood, at her physio to get herself back on her feet, at everything.”

The Doctor sniffed, and sat back in his chair. “But you were aware there were risks.”

Pete’s jaw clenched. “Yes. But as I said, I couldn’t just do nothing. Wouldn’t you have done the same, Doctor? If it was a choice between knowingly endangering Rose but ultimately getting her out alive, or doing nothing and seeing her die, wouldn’t you have done the same?”

The Doctor swallowed at that. Pete was unknowingly echoing Rose’s question on the zeppelin the day before, and his answer was the same as he’d told Rose.

But he wouldn’t tell Pete. Not yet.

“I would have had a plan,” he managed through grit teeth. “I wouldn’t have just used a hopper knowing that there were explicit instructions that it could only carry one person. Everyone with you had a hopper- Mickey, Jackie, Jake! Why not take one of theirs?” His voice had risen as he spoke, rising almost to a shout, and he was vaguely aware that he was breathing heavily, the anger building up inside him, but he didn’t care. He wanted Pete’s answers.

“There wasn’t time,” Pete responded, and he was calm. Calculated. “Don’t you think I’ve asked myself the same questions these past two years or so? Don’t you think I’ve gone through every little thing I’d done wrong, every little step I’d taken that resulted in Rose losing a leg? Don’t you think that I’ve thought about all this? About how if I hadn’t panicked so much, I could have grabbed another hopper? That if I’d taken another hopper, I could have grabbed Rose, thrust it into her hands, and pulled us both back across the Void safely? Don’t you think I sometimes lay awake at night and watch Jaqs asleep next to me, wondering how she could possibly love me after I did that to our daughter?” He paused, looked away for a moment, before looking back and meeting the Doctor’s eyes. “There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already thought of, Doctor. And I’m not surprised that you hate me for the choices I made. Sometimes I hate me too.”

There was a heavy silence then, the two men at some sort of stalemate, and eventually the Doctor got to his feet. There was nothing more to say. Everything that could be said had been said, and anything else would just have them going round in circles.

But as he reached the kitchen door, the Doctor realised that there was one last thing left to be said, one that Pete had possibly heard before, from Jackie, and Rose, and Mickey, and Jake. But not from him. And he had a feeling that Pete needed to hear it from him.

“Pete?”

The other man looked up. “Yes?”

The Doctor looked away for a brief moment, taking a breath. It needed to be said. He met Pete’s gaze in the dark of the room. “You did the right thing.”

#ficandchips #amputation tw #injury tw #rose tyler #meta!10 #meta!ten #Jackie Tyler #Pete Tyler #nevertheless she persisted verse #Otp: One heart

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