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go-to-two · 2 years

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“Grace” - Post 9x13 Upstead Fic

Messed around and wrote a post 9x13 Upstead fic. This might be a one-and-done for me, or I might try this out again sometime. Either way, this was fun!

Words: 3K

Warnings: Mentions of 9x13

This will likely be up on AO3 in the next few weeks when my invite is supposedly going to be extended. Wasn’t aware that was a thing- I’m new here, friends. For now, it’s under the cut.

It's well below freezing outside by the time Hailey leans into Jay's shoulder from her spot on the stool as he stands next to her in the bar.

“You ready to go?” she whispers. She glances around the building, seeing that most other patrons were already gone. Hank had one drink, offered her a quick congratulations for her work, and went home. Trudy had called it after three shots with a parting statement that the heavy drinking was for the young. Now it's just the five of them- Hailey, Jay, Kevin, Kim, and Adam. They had passed a couple of hours swapping stories about theirs jobs or mishaps in dating or home improvement projects gone wrong- just chatting, like they used to do so often when they were younger and carried fewer scars.

It takes one look at her for Jay to agree. He can see the exhaustion on her face and the half smile she gives him that doesn't quite bring out the dimple on her right cheek he's grown to love so much. She's tired, and she's ready to drop the façade.

“Yeah, I'm ready if you are,” he assures, so they say their goodbyes to the unit and leave them behind in the bar.

Hailey had insisted they not throw a big party for her ten year anniversary on the job, but she could tolerate a small get together. Even after the days she just had, she knew she could paint a smile on her face and accept her friends' congratulations over drinks. Now she just wants to be home.

The cold wind cuts through her coat on the short walk from the bar to Jay's truck, and she really can't remember the last time she felt warm. She has to lengthen her strides to keep up with Jay as the cold makes him quicken his step, and she reaches to link her arm with his to keep him close. If nothing else, she just needs him close tonight.

The lights on Jay's truck flash as he clicks the button to unlock it and she reluctantly pulls her arm from his to make her way to the passenger side. She hoists herself into the truck with a grunt while Jay slides into the drivers seat and immediately turns on the heat. He reaches over the center console to turn on her seat warmer, stopping to rub his hand up and down her thigh for a moment to give her some warmth.

“Sorry, it's going to take a couple minutes for this heat to get going,” he breaks the silence that they'd maintained since they said their last goodbyes in the bar. It wasn't an awkward silence- it rarely was with them- but was heavy nonetheless.

“It's fine, I'll live. I'm just ready to be out of here.”

He nods, pulling the truck from the curb and pointing them towards home. He tries to keep his attention on the road, but he can see her mind start turning in the silence. Now that there is no case to work or grieving families to comfort or coworkers surrounding her, he knows the distractions won't be there to quiet her thoughts anymore. He's been here with her before, though- watching her wage an internal war in his passenger seat. So he holds his tongue and waits, assured by her words and the ring on her finger that she'll come to him when she's ready.

“I should've known by the seat belts,” she says in a rush of words minutes later, almost startling him from his own thoughts as he drove.

“I... what?”

“The seat belts. When I pulled Mullen out of the car in the river, his seat belt wasn't on. He was unconscious, but his seat belt was off. I never had to unbuckle him.”

“Okay? Hailey, you're going to have to walk me through this one.” He keeps as level as he can while she starts rambling next to him, starting to release some of the emotion she'd been so successful at holding in up until this point.

“When I dove down... the car was on its side. I saw it sinking on it's side. So I pried open the driver's door and reached in to pull him out, but his seat belt was already undone. He wasn't conscious, so it would have had to have been unfastened the whole time. Like he got in the car in a hurry. Why didn't I notice that? I should've seen something was off. Why didn't I-”

“Hailey, that doesn't-”

“And her face, Jay. God, I can't get the look on her face out of my head,” she leans forward and presses her head in her hands, willing the image to go away. “She was so scared. She kept screaming 'save me'. 'Save ME.' I thought the fear in her eyes was from the accident and the water, but the last twenty minutes of her life were nothing but fear. She begged me to save her from all of it... from him... and I didn't.”

“Hailey, you couldn't have known, alright? You know that.” he breathes out, pleading with her to slow down enough to not let her guilt overwhelm reason.

“I'm a detective, though. It's my job to be observant and react to my surroundings,” she continues quietly, as if she's only talking to herself at this point. Jay looks over at her and sees how small she looks still hunched over in her seat. On a whim, he makes an abrupt right turn, steering them toward a new destination.

“Where are we going? Jay, I really just want to get home,” she asks when the motion of the car forces her upright again. She peers out the window, trying to recognize the residential streets he's turned down.

“I know, I know” he says softly. “I want to swing by the district real quick, okay? There's something I want to show you. Trust me?”

She stares at him wordlessly for a few seconds before she presses her lips together and nods, choosing to believe that he wouldn't be dragging her to the district this late at night if it wasn't worth her while. She leans her head back on the seat and closes her eyes around the tears that have threatened to fall, passing the next few minutes in silence until they arrive.

If the desk sergeant on duty finds is strange that Jay and Hailey are walking up to the bullpen disheveled at almost 11pm, he keeps it to himself and buzzes them upstairs.

“Go take a seat at my desk,” Jay instructs as he grabs a flash drive from the pile of paperwork on Ruzek's desk and wheels over a spare chair to pull up next to her. Hailey turns on some lights for them and collapses down into his desk chair, pulling one knee up to her chest. The bullpen is so quiet this time of night, the only sounds coming from his computer starting up and the hum of the fridge behind them in the break room.

“So, we found POD footage of the Columbus Bridge from the other night. Ruz pulled it early in the case thinking we may be able to pull an image for facial rec to ID Mullen. We couldn't get a clear look at his face, but we can still see everything.”

“You see the crash?” she asks as she takes the flash drive he offers her and plugs it in.

“Yeah, the crash. You. Everything. I wasn't sure if you'd want to watch it all, but I want you to really see something,” he says as the video loads and now sits ready to play on his screen.

Hailey stares at the still image on his computer. The bridge looks so much bigger than she remembered as she picks out her bright blue running jacket on her small frame in the far right-hand side of the screen. She's already lived what happens next, so there's little hesitation when she reaches to click play.

The footage begins, and she watches herself jog at a steady pace across the bridge as headlights become visible to the left, followed by the swerving car.

She's surprisingly calm seeing this part of the footage, but she feels Jay tense next to her as they watch the car swerve out of control, narrowly missing her before it careens off the bridge and into the water.

Hailey being hit by the out-of-control car wasn't really an alternative Jay had thought about when Platt first filled him in on the details of the accident. It's not really an alternative he'd like to think about now.

“I'm just going to fast forward a little bit,” he says as he leans over her to speed up the footage. The video plays at triple speed, showing her call 911 and running down the steps to the river's edge.

“Here,” Jay pauses the video briefly while he moves to stand behind Hailey, bracing himself with a hand on each of her armrests, his body caging her in and her voice right in her ear. “I want you to look here.”

He resumes the video again at its normal speed as she jumps into the freezing water.

“From the time you first dove down after the car, until...” he fast forwards again until she re-emerges “...until you come up with Mullen. That's one minute and fifteen seconds. Hailey, that's barely over a minute for crisis response in freezing water. You're feeling this guilt now because you're looking at this case from the end result, backwards. You've had days to stew over every detail of this case, but here?” He motions to the computer screen, focusing again on her clinging to a ladder in the water with Mullen under her arm. “Here, you had one minute to make a decision and you did what we were trained to do. You help whoever you can, right? You're not expected to solve a crime you didn't even know existed in those conditions.”

She nods weakly and silently against his head where it rests over her shoulder.

“And you said Lisa's leg was stuck?”

“Yeah,” she clears her throat. “Yeah, it was jammed under the dashboard. She was trying to pull it free, but she was caught.”

“Then, Hailey, I don't know if this will help,” he begins tentatively, turning his head to speak softly into her neck, “but even if you had let Mullen sink and gone for Lisa, you probably wouldn't have been able to get her out anyway. Not without extraction tools and a lot more time than you had.”

He feels her slump further down in her chair as she still watches herself in the video. She's now diving and reemerging desperately, trying to find the car that had sunk far below where she could reach it.

She's unmoving- not angry, not weeping- just watching herself on the small screen.

He slides back into the chair next to her and reaches over to pause the video. As he pulls his arm back from the computer, he shifts sideways and moves his hand to cup her face, his thumb trailing slowly against her cheek.

“You told me once that I couldn't right every wrong. You remember that?”

“Yeah,” she whispers as a few tears threaten to spill again. That night in the bar feels like lifetimes ago to her. The night they sat and talked, just the two of them. She had wanted so badly for him to see in himself what she saw, long before they were them.

“Hailey, I need you to have that same grace for yourself.”

She just nods weakly again, not fully trusting her voice and unable to stop some stray tears from spilling out. She wipes them away quickly and composes herself as she nods again.

He still sees the doubt in her nod, and he knows he didn't fix everything in five minutes, but he also knows he would never be able to fix everything for her. She heard him, and that's enough.

He swipes his thumb across her cheek a final time before lowering his hand. His eyes are soft but they never leave her as she nervously turns back toward the screen.

“Jay, I hear you, but can we shut this down now? I really don't want to watch them pull her out.”

He knows what comes next on the footage. The long, painstaking process of Squad 3 pulling a crumpled car and Lisa's lifeless body from the river. He nods quickly, leaning over her again to shut down the video and pull the flash drive from his computer.

“Yeah, of course. I'm not too keen on watching you being loaded into an ambulance, anyway,” he breathes out and gives her a small smile. “Let's go home.”

She agrees without argument. Hailey shuts his computer down and turns out the lights as he stands to straighten up the chairs and return the flash drive to Ruzek's desk. He waits for her by the stairs with one hand outstretched. They're silent again as he wraps his hand around hers and leads them out of the district, but it doesn't feel as heavy. He doesn't feel like she's teetering on the edge anymore, just processing. So he gives her the space to do so as they climb in the truck again, and he steers them towards their apartment.

He follows her through their front door, turning to lock it behind them. They kick off their shoes and line them neatly in the entryway. He's placing his keys in the bowl by the door when he feels her reaching for his coat, sliding it from is shoulders to hang it in the closet next to hers.

“I showered at the district after getting back from the athletic club,” she starts. “So I'm just going to go straight to bed. Do you wanna shower and then meet me in there? I'll wait for you.”

“Yeah. I'll be quick,” he gives her elbow a gentle squeeze as he passes by her and disappears into the bathroom.

Hailey makes the rounds in their apartment, double checking the lock on the back door and closing the blinds before retreating to their bedroom. She strips off her flannel and jeans, replacing them with some sleep shorts and an old sweatshirt. She enters the bathroom for a few minutes to brush her teeth, glancing at Jay in the mirror a handful of times and smirking when she’s met with a soft smile and kind eyes every time.

She's been in bed for barely two minutes when Jay emerges from the bathroom, making good on his promise to hurry. He drops his towel in the hamper and joins her in bed with his hair still damp and wearing only the old, well-worn sweats she favors so much. She wastes no time before tangling her legs with his, reveling in the way the soft fabric brushes against her bare skin as she moves closer to him. Jay is met with a nervous smile as he settles to face her and wraps his arms around her to pull her to his chest.

“I'm sorry I scared you the other night,” she whispers as she rests her chin against his chest to peer up at him. “I'll always be the person that wants to jump in and help, and I know you are too. But I am sorry.”

She thinks about what it must have been like for him to get the whole story from Trudy- to not be there with her in the ambulance or in the hospital. She tightens her grip around his waist when she thinks about all the times she's been those places while he was the one in trouble. She knows that fear well.

“I know, it's alright,” he shifts one arm to play with a strand of her hair, twirling it around his fingers. “I'd never blame you for that.” He lets the silence takes over again and she relaxes against him, content to lie there and feel him breathe.

“Also,” he continues a minute later as the look of pride he wore earlier in the bar returns to his face, “I can't let you go to sleep without saying congratulations for ten years on the job. I don't think I've actually said those words yet. That's a big deal, Hailey, and I know the team is really proud of you. I'm really proud of you.”

“I think I knew that, but thank you,” she says through a growing smile. “I just wish the team could have been proud of me without pulling out my old recruit picture.”

He laughs quietly, leaning in to press his lips against hers slowly.

“One more thing,” he whispers against her lips. “Or rather, promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Skip your run tomorrow morning. Please?” he asks, putting as much levity in his request as he can.

“Yeah, I can do that,” she chuckles, maybe the first semblance of a laugh he's heard from her in days.

She pushes forward, finding his lips one more time before leaning over him to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. She lies back down beside him and burrows back into the warmth of his chest, pressing her lips against his shoulder once, twice before settling and finally closing her eyes.

Jay watches her try to sleep for several minutes before her breathing steadies against him and the exhaustion from the past couple days catches up to her.

Deep down, they both know this feeling of peace won't last, and it doesn't. Hailey is awake again a few hours later, the image of Lisa's face in her final moments still burned in her mind. Jay snores lightly next to her as she remains wrapped in his arms, counting his deep breaths to give her mind anything to do but dwell on the case. She's been on this uphill battle before, and she assumes this won't be her last. She's managed to find the light after devastation like this before, and she knows with Jay beside her and her team around her, she'll do it again.

#Chicago PD #upstead #upstead fic #upstead fanfiction #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #cpd 9x13

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anna-justice · 3 years

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Crash My Party - Upstead

Summary: Hailey receives some terrible news and suffers a severe panic attack, and like always, Jay is there for her. (Pre-Established Upstead/8x03 never happened)

Warnings: fluff, swearing, maybe mentions of violence

Requested: Yes! #66, “I can’t do this alone anymore.”

…

The walk up the stairs to his apartment building seemed longer than normal. Her hands shook as she fiddled with her keys, the clinking creating white noise that echoed through the stairwell. She pushed the door at the top open and made her way down the hall, subconsciously reading the numbers on every door as she passed.

When she reached his door, she took a deep breath, running her hand through her blonde hair that - for once - was falling over her shoulders. She raised her hand to knock, but held it there for a second. Something about this didn’t seem right, her showing up unannounced with a million things to drop on him. Even though they had both done it a thousand times, there was always a voice in the back of her head that told her that it wasn’t his problem.

She fought the feelings and knocked on the door, shifting on her heels as she waited. She stared at the ground and squinted hard, pushing the possible tears back down. The door swung open a few seconds later, revealing a smiley and very shocked Jay. Hailey watched as his face contorted from a big grin to confused, and then to concern. She wished the floor would just swallow her up. “Hailey?”

“Hey.” She said quietly. She knew she should have called or texted, or maybe even stayed home to face it alone, but she always felt better after a drink with him. After the day she had, she just needed to be close to him.

Jay stepped slightly in front of the door, closing it partly behind him. It was then Hailey realized he probably wasn’t alone. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely.

Hailey blinked back tears for the upteenth time that day, the thought of Jay spending his Friday night with any other girl but her cut deep. She knew she was jumping to conclusions, but right now, he heart couldn’t take it.“Yeah, yeah, I-”

“Jay!” Someone called from inside the apartment, “What’s taking you so long to get a pizza?” Jay’s cheeks heated up and Hailey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Kevin.

“Oh, sorry.” Hailey said, fighting the urge to smile (an action that hadn’t crossed her mind in hours). He had company, and she didn’t want to interrupt, but every part of her was extremely relieved that it was just their friends hiding behind the door. “I didn’t realize you were busy. I’ll just go.” She turned to walk away, but Jay placed a hand on her shoulder, stepping out of the doorway.

He shook his head, “I’m not. It’s just the guys. What’s up?”

Hailey was opening her mouth to protest when she was interrupted again. “Jay, quit flirting with the delivery guy and get back in here. You’re missing the game.” Another voice yelled, which Hailey assumed was Severide.

Jay held up his hand, motioning for her to give him a second. He leaned his head back in the apartment, “Give me a second.” He shouted.

“Jay, really, it’s fine. I’ll see you later.” She said, trying (and failing) to give him a reassuring smile.

Jay cocked an eyebrow at her, “You sure?” Hailey nodded, even though she wasn’t. Even though hers was long gone, she didn’t want to ruin his night.

She was about to leave again when they heard footsteps behind them, “Okay, I need to see what this girl looks like-” The door swung open to reveal Will, who stopped dead in his tracks. “Hailey, hi.” He said, a lot louder than he needed too. Hailey blushed and Jay rolled his eyes. Will glanced between the two of them, a tiny smirk showing on his face. He looked at Jay, “Take your time.” Before either of them could say a thing, he shut the door.

Jay chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, sorry about him. They thought you were the delivery guy.”

Hailey nodded, “Yeah, I got that.”

He took her in, noticing the fading tear marks on her cheeks and the half smile on her face. She wasn’t okay, and he knew that. “You wanna come in? We have beer and a hockey game.” He asked, gesturing at the door.

Hailey shook her head, glancing at the ground. “That’s okay. You guys have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too.” They both retreated to where they came from, Jay shutting the door and leaning against it. He couldn’t shake the sad look in her eyes. He made his way back to his couch, surprised to see the three grown men already there watching him expectantly. “What?”

“How’s Hailey?” Will asked, smirking again.

Jay sighed, “I don’t really know, she looked upset.” He glanced between the three of them. “I think I need to…” He said, looking back at the door.

“Of course, man, we get it.” Kevin said, taking a swig of his beer.

“Yeah,” Kelly agreed, “We’ll just sit here, drink your beer and eat your food.”

“And miss you.” Will added and Jay rolled his eyes, “Seriously, it’s Hailey, go.”

Jay smiled at his friends, “Thanks guys.” He grabs his coat and his keys and was out the door in a matter of seconds.

They heard the door close behind him and Kelly shook his head, taking a sip of his drink. He nodded his head in the direction that Jay left. “He’s so whipped.”

Kevin and Will both laughed, nodding in agreement. “So…” Will said.

“It’s honestly kind of sad.”

…

By the time Hailey made it inside of her apartment, she was pulling hard on her fingers. She could feel her pulse picking up, and the pain of squeezing her anxious hands was keeping her grounded. It felt like it was a hundred degrees inside and she aggressively pushed off her coat, throwing it over a chair. She crossed the room, gripping the edge of her counter while trying to focus on her breathing.

Her chest felt tight and her knuckles were white from her tight grip. She clamped her eyes shut, pushing herself away from the counter and squeezing her hands in a fist at her sides. She stood in the center of the room, looking up at the ceiling as she blinked back tears. She wouldn’t cry again, no, she couldn’t cry again. That didn't stop her though, the salty liquid began to trickle down her face.

Hailey let out a frustrated groan - the distraught noise coming out very un-Hailey-like - and gasped for air, finding her way back to the counter. She refused to give in, it had been so long since this had happened, and she was going to fight like hell to make sure it didn’t follow through. She thought she was past it, she thought she was old enough to deal with things correctly.

However, her mind and her body had a different idea. Her chest burned and her throat felt like sandpaper, she almost didn’t even notice her phone buzzing on the counter. She absently reached out and picked it up, letting out a sob as she read the caller ID. A second later, her phone hit the wall next to her, shattering and falling to the floor along with any sense of calm she had left.

She heaved, she felt almost like she was floating. The only thing keeping in place was the counter in front of her. She finally let herself slip, she stopped fighting the pain and let it consume her.

Jay was almost to her door when he heard the crash inside, “Hailey!” He yelled, immediately kicking the door in (not even bothering to see if it was open).

Everything happened so fast. The commotion behind her caused Hailey to look up from her fixed gaze on the granite and the sudden movement sent her head spinning. Jay watched it all happen, catching her just before she hit the floor. “Hailey, Hailey.” He said, panicking. She slumped against her chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Jay held her to him on instinct, noticing her trembling body. “Hailey breathe, please.” He said, trying to sit her up as she heaved.

“I can’t, I can’t,” She choked out, clutching her chest. Her crying continued as Jay wracked his brain for what to do. He was sure she was having a panic attack, he had had quite a few of his own, but he was in shock. His calm - put together - force to be reckoned with - Hailey was nowhere to be found.

He shifted so that he was in front of her, hands braced on her upper arms to keep her upright. “Look at me Hailey, deep breaths. It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.”

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “Make it stop,” She gasped, “Please Jay, make it stop. It hurts.”

Jay felt his heart clench in his chest, he absolutely hated seeing her like this. And it was probably good that he had no idea what was going on, because otherwise he would be planning a murder in his mind. “Hailey,” He said, but she was lost somewhere. “Hailey, look at me.” His words were gentle, but firm, and it grabbed her attention. Her head snapped up and her teary blue eyes met his. He cracked a smile, letting his hand slide up to her shoulder. “Good, now try to match my breathing.” She nodded, fixing her eyes on his chest and watching it rise and fall.

They sat on the floor together for at least fifteen minutes. Hailey watching Jay breath steadily and trying to match it. She was hyper focused, she didn’t dare let her mind wander. It had proven to be dangerous territory. Jay though, he felt like his brain was going to explode.

When Hailey finally felt like she could control herself, she slid onto her bottom, leaning her back against the kitchen counter. She ran her hands on her eyes and pulled her knees to her chest, partly to collect herself, partly because she was absolutely mortified. She sniffled, taking a few deep breaths on her own.

Jay relaxed as well, sitting back on his heels and keeping his distance. His eyes never left her, like if he looked away she would fall apart again. She looked so sad, so scared and it made him feel physically ill. “I think I broke your door.”

Hailey laughed out loud at his bad excuse for lightening the mood, “It’s okay.” She said quietly, running a hand under her nose. They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other. Hailey felt a strange sense of calm, one that she only felt around him, and it was a nice contrast to the past hour of pure panic.

“Are you okay?” He asked, giving her a pointed look.

It felt like such a loaded question, and honestly it was one. Jay had asked her that a million times, but there was no doubt that this time was different, she couldn’t backtrack this, not after what just happened. And as easy and safe to brush it off her shoulder and tell him that she was fine, she couldn’t, and she didn’t want to. Hailey’s gaze shifted down and she shook her head slowly.

Jay sat in front of her, legs crossed and a somber expression on his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hailey sniffled again, shaking her head. She rested it in her hand and took him in, something about him sitting on her kitchen floor felt so right. So right that she didn’t want to ruin it with how wrong everything in her life was. She didn’t want to tell him that her mom called her for the first time in years to tell her that her father was dying - and not only that - but that she wanted Hailey to come see him and possibly donate a piece of her major organ to him. She didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t do it, that she couldn’t bring herself to save him. She didn’t want to tell him that despite all the terrible things her father had done, she still felt sadness over his possible passing. She didn’t want him to know that a mere phone call had sent her into such a tailspin. She didn’t want him to know anything.

But here he was, looking at her the way no one else ever had, caring in a way no one else ever had. What was she supposed to do with that? “I can’t do this alone anymore.” It came out quiet, and neither of them were sure that she was actually talking to him. It felt more like a realization than anything.

“Hailey,” Jay said, taking the hand that was resting on her knee on her own. “You don’t have to, you never had to.”

The look on her face when he said those words was something Jay would never forget, the utter shock that showed so clearly. It pained him at how surprised she looked to hear something that had never been a second thought to him. She was his rock, his compass, at this point, maybe his entire life. How did she not see it?

“I thought it would be easier, to ignore it all.” She said, eyes glassing over again. She leaned her head against the wall, sighing. “I just can’t run fast enough to escape it.” Jay gave her a soft, but pointed look, urging her to continue. “My dad, um, he’s sick. Really sick, and, my mom, she called me to tell me. And she asked if I would come see him and if I would -” She laughed cynically “- if I would consider giving him a piece of my liver.”

“What?” Jay said, the word sort of just tumbling out of his mouth.

Hailey nodded her head, giving him a fake, tight lipped smile, “Yep.” She took a breath, “I don’t know, it was like years and years of suppressed pain just all came flooding back at once. So I went to your place, but you were busy and…” She gestured to them, implying that that is why they ended up where they were. “I’m sorry, that you had to see me like that.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m glad I was here.” Jay said, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand that was still in his. “I always want to be here, you just have to let me in.”

The genuine and vulnerable look in his eye was too much for Hailey to handle, so she avoided his gaze. “I don’t know, you seem to be pretty good at getting in on your own. You did break my door.”

Jay laughed, knowing that the joke was meant to offset the realness of the moment. He didn’t blame her, he was scared too. “I’m serious Hailey, this is where I want to be. All the time, with you.”

Her breath caught in her throat. Here he was: her beautiful, emotionally stunted, action first partner laying his heart on the floor in front of her. “I want you here.”

“Good,” He said, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them lost in their own thoughts. There was so much more that needed to be said, so much more that needed to be clarified, but at that moment it didn't matter. They were just them. “Is it bad that I don’t want to help him, does that make me a terrible person?” Hailey asked, breaking the silence.

“No,” Jay said immediately, “Not at all. It means you are strong.” She nodded, but Jay could tell that she didn't really believe him. “Hailey you are the strongest person I know, you make me stronger, you make me better. He doesn’t deserve your help, especially if you don’t want to give it.” He stood up, holding out a hand to her and pulling her up off the floor. “He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to forgive him.” She confessed.

Jay shrugged, “That’s okay.”

Hailey looked up at him, complete adoration in her eyes. He smiled down at her and even though she had doubted it before, she didn’t now. Something was different, something had shifted, he felt the same way she did and it was dulling the ache inside her. “Jay-” She started.

“I know.” He said, his grin growing a bit. “Me too. But we don’t have to talk about any of that right now. Let’s just get some sleep.”

Hailey hesitated, the thought of being alone terrifying her. “Will you be here when I wake up?” She asked, fixing her gaze on the floor in between them.

“Hailey,” Jay said, taking a step forward and cupping her cheek with his hand, “I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”

…

A/N: This was so fun to write, also, I’m alive haha. Sorry I haven’t posted in forever, I am so ridiculously busy, but I’m hoping that within the next month I can start posting regularly again. Thanks for reading! <3

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #hailey upton x jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #will halstead #kelly severide #kevin atwater

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anniesardors · 2 years

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My nephew walked in on me watching Chicago PD one day, and today he came over again, grabbed my hand and asked if I would watch Chicago PD with him. Keep in mind he’s only 3 years old, so the sweet little innocent voice killed me! We started watching a non gruesome episode because I didn’t want to scare him and he saw Hailey and asked if I was on Chicago PD because my name is Hailey and I do have blonde hair. I told him I was not on Chicago PD and tried to explain the whole actress thing to him and he still thinks I’m on Chicago PD… 🤷🏼‍♀️💙

Side note: Why are we having to wait 3 weeks for more Upstead? I CAN’T HANDLE IT! I’ve watched every episode 20X and can quote it. I don’t know how many more times I can rewatch them before my fiancé throws me out 😂

#ChicagoPD #Upstead

Oh I love that! That is so incredibly sweet that your nephew wants to watch with you and thinks you're on the show. Oh that three year old innocence 😂 Three weeks without upstead is long. Good thing we got fics to reread and old episodes to rewatch to pass the time. And if your fiancé throws you out for watching them too many times, come over here and we'll have a watch party 😂

#asks #upstead

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carissalizz · 2 years

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CPD 9x13: My thoughts on this week’s episode

Under the cut :)

*Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD*

OMTTTTT 9x13 was so good and I think it lived up to all its hype!!

The obvious highlights being Tracy’s incredible acting and her portrayal of the guilt that’s tormenting Hailey throughout the episode! I felt every glance and every pained expression that was shown and was left speechless. Props to both Tracy and Kelli (aka Tracy’s stunt double) for the amazing underwater scenes (alongside the incredible crew of course!!) cuz they were so realistic. As I’m not based in the US, I watched the episode online and had to pause the ep multiple times as Hailey tried to save the victims. The storyline was so good and so sad cuz we all know this is gonna stay woth Hailey for the rest of her life probably… Why can‘t the poor girl get a break from traumas??

The Trudy scenes were gold!! Trudy’s always been one of my favourite characters and the mother-daughter like friendship that Hailey and Trudy have makes me so happy. Seeing them 2 in those scenes were beautiful and the scene where Trudy told Hailey about her dad‘s offender was so vulnerable. I think that the scene really was Trudy trying to remind Hailey that she was there for her too (awww my heart!!). Also, i love how they brought up Hailey’s past and how it was Platt who inspired Upton to become a cop cuz I think it really tied the story together with the whole Hailey-Allie thing (Allie‘s the victim‘s daughter). Trudy forcing Hailey to celebrate 10 years on the job with a party was the most hilarious thing ever and Platt’s iconic stoic face made it even better!

One of the more underrated friendships that is becoming more popular is Upwater and you had no idea how excited I was when I saw the opening scene!! Laroyce does such an incredible job of playing Kevin that I really wish I had a Kevin in my life. Kevin cares so much for Hailey and its adorable to see him check in on Hailey in the locker room. I can totally imagine Kevin giving Hailey one of his signature hugs to warm her up when she comes to the district after leaving the hospital.

We were all hoping for worried husband Jay and though we didn’t get a whole lot of that, the Upstead hug was one that melted my heart. As much as I hate seeing the duo in trouble, seeing the other one worried is honestly one of the best things ever. That wasn’t the only time we saw Jay worried for his wife though. The looks that he’d throw Hailey’s way were ones of concern and care, which was the sweetest thing!! Him checking in on her in the locker room was the sweetest and I’m sure Jay did a lot of fussing off camera or when they were in the truck on the way to the bar.

The ending scene was actually really cute. Hailey’s recruitment picture was so big and I laughed ngl. Platt went all out on that poster. Seeing the team hanging out and celebrating the amazing detective Upton was nice as we haven’t really seen the team hang out much, especially with the whole previous situation and all the tension. The team’s reactions to the giant poster was hilarious and made for a slightly sweeter ending to a huge episode. I think the choice to just have music during this scene rather than the cast’s dialogue/voices in the background was symbolic in some sense. The music wasn’t the most cheery either so it does the job of showing the fun that the team has as well as Hailey’s thoughts.

Well, that’s all for my thoughts on the amazing CPD 9x13!! If you’ve read through the entire thing, hi and wow I’m amazed :)

#chicago pd #hailey upton #tracy spiridakos #chicago pd upstead #cpd 9x13 #chicago pd spoilers

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hailey-halstead · 4 years

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Napkins

happy chicago day!!! hoping we get some upstead and brett/casey 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 and when reading this imagine hailey with various napkins spread all across her body to protect her dress 😂😂 i was originally going to have her use a towel, but like. where would the towel come from. so an outrageous amount of napkins it is! also ending fics is always difficult for me and the parts of my fics i dislike the least! and as always I don’t own anything :))) ————————

“I think it’s ridiculous for you to be hiding in here but,” Hailey took a bite out of her sub, while her eyes flickered down to make sure the napkins she covered her dress with were still intact. After she swallowed, she continued. “I got to say that I’m not complaining.” She gestured to her food.

“To be fair, you’re hiding in here with me.” Jay pointed out, a smirk slowly appearing onto his face. Jay smiling was always a nice sight, Hailey wasn’t blind, but it was even more appreciated considering he had been worrying all morning.

“Only because you bribed me.” She waved the sub around for emphasis, mindful to not get both the car and herself messy. They were supposed to be heading inside in 15 minutes, after all.

To that, Jay said nothing. He only gave her a knowing look. She had already agreed to wait till the last possible moment to go inside for Ruzek and Burgess’ wedding, regardless of the sub. He only got it for her because he knew she forgot to eat breakfast.

After a couple more bites, Hailey snuck another look at Jay. To her dismay, the smile was gone, replaced yet again by tension.

“I know you said you still don’t have feeling for Erin—“ She started to say again, slowly, not wanting him to get defensive. Again.

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you so bothered?” She pressed further. “You haven’t seen her in years. It probably would be good to see her again.”

“Hailey.” Jay had a warning tone to his voice, but she knew that just meant he was getting close to telling her what was really on his mind.

“It’s what we do, remember?” She gestured back and forth between them. “Instead of letting you mope, I’m making you talk about it and feel better.”

At that, he turned his head to look at her. He was unfazed by her words. “Isn’t that related to work?” He pointed out.

While it may have just applied to work early in their partnership, they both knew it was more than that now. She knew he was deflecting with that comment, but she couldn’t deny it didn’t affect her. With a shake of her head, she started to pick up the napkins across her body, making sure the crumbs wouldn’t spill on her dress.

She leaned over to stuff the trash into the bag by her feet, but when she sat back up, Jay’s hand was suddenly on her leg. She jumped, not expecting the action. They tended to randomly touch each other from time to time, but the fact it was her bare knee made it a different scenario.

Because of this, it took her a second longer to realize he was talking. “...our relationship was complicated. I made some choices that weren’t the best, and ultimately led to her leaving.” He removed his hand from her leg, and ran it through his hair in agitation. “Thinking about her makes me think of what I did wrong, and I don’t know what actually seeing her will bring.” He admitted.

“Are you really throwing a pity party right now Jay?” She knew he had been through a lot, but he had never used it to prevent him from doing something.

That probably wasn’t the best thing to say when he finally opened up to her. “Really? How about ‘I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, Jay’.” He was getting defensive again, tension reappearing on his face. “Or—“

“I’m sorry!” She interrupted, cursing herself for jumping the gun. “It’s just, you aren’t the type of person to attack yourself like that. I was surprised.”

Judging by the way he leaned back in his seat and unclenched his jaw, he seemed to accept her apology. “I know. That’s half of why it bothers me. I....don’t like hurting people that I care about. And honestly, that’s what it seemed like I always did with Erin.”

The only impression Hailey had of Erin was when she shoved her gun down a suspect’s throat and when she left Jay for New York without letting him know. So she wasn’t the biggest fan of Erin. But she knew she wouldn’t help Jay if that’s how she would approach it. “That seems like it would be on Erin more than it would be on you.”

He opened his mouth, but then closed it. He must have never thought about it that way before, as he would usually have a response by now.

“I only know what you have told me,” She continued, treading more carefully after she stuck her foot in her mouth earlier. “But it seemed like she had a lot of her own issues going on, separate from you.”

He scoffed at that, which she took as an agreement.

“And I know you, Jay.” She sounded more confident as she went on, talking about Jay rather than Erin. “You’re a good person. Anything you did was out of good intentions. It seems to me you two weren’t meant for each other.”

He was still quiet. But instead of continuing to talk, Hailey let the silence transpire. She turned her attention to her phone for mindless distraction. But it was over as fast as it began, because as soon as she pressed the button to turn her phone on, the time of 12:55 jolted her back into reality. That Adam and Kim’s wedding was happening in just a few minutes.

“Shit! Jay, we need to go!” She bent over, sliding her heels back on. He didn’t say anything, so she assumed he didn’t hear her.

“I know you are having complicated feelings about this, but we need to go—“ Hailey started to open the car door.

But Jay reached out to shut it. “We can’t go yet without me saying thanks.” He had that look on his face, the one that always shook her to her core. It seemed like her could see straight to her soul.

And while Hailey appreciated the sentiment, they didn’t have any more time. She also knew that she couldn’t let herself stare into Jay’s eyes for another second as she was afraid what her body would want her to do next. She opened the door yet again, and this time Jay didn’t protest. They could talk after the wedding.

#upstead #my post #upstead fic

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anna-justice · 3 years

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But We Do - Upstead

Summary: 5 times Jay and Hailey said they were “just friends,” and 1 time they knew they were something more.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, maybe mentions of violence?

Requested: No

…

1 - they don’t cancel other plans, have conversations with nothing but their eyes…

Jay walked out of the breakroom, phone pressed to his ear and a cup of coffee in his hand. They were wrapping up an intense day in intelligence, they had closed a big case involving a tender age victim, all of them were taking it pretty hard.

“Hey man,” Jay said quietly as he approached his desk. He watched his partner sigh, running a hand through her tousled blonde hair.

“Hey,” Will said, “We still on for the game tonight?”

Jay kept his eyes on Hailey, she looked distraught. “Uh…” Hailey looked up, catching his gaze and giving him a weak smile. Jay furrowed his eyebrows at her and she shrugged, her chest heaving as she looked back down at her report. “Sorry. I can’t tonight, something came up. Raincheck?”

“Yeah, no worries man.” Will said, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” Jay agreed, finally finishing the last few steps to his desk. He sat down, placing all the reports on his desk in a neat pile. Swiftly, he leaned over the monitor in front of him and swiped a stack of papers off his partners desk, replacing them with his cup of coffee.

Hailey was startled by the commotion, glancing up at the man across from her. He was focused on his computer screen, deep in thought. Hailey smiled softly, taking a sip of the coffee before getting back to work. Jay felt her gaze on him, he avoided it, focusing on the task before him. If he looked up he’d get lost in those bright blue eyes, and then he’d never get any work done.

About an hour later, Jay threw his pen down on his desk, groaning. “I’ve written the word ‘offender’ so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a word anymore.” He said.

Hailey cracked a smile, “You done?” She had been for about 20 minutes, but they were the last ones left, and she didn’t want to make him work alone, especially since he was helping with her work load.

Jay nodded, “Yep, just finished, ready to get out of here?”

“Yes.” Hailey said immediately, grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. “Give Will my best.”

Jay stood, “I’m not meeting Will.” He confessed.

Hailey looked at him, confused. “You said you were going to the Hawks game, Jay, you’ve been excited all day.” She frowned, but he just shook his head.

“Will gets tickets for every game, there will be another one.” He jokes, but Hailey doesn’t look convinced. “I’m not really feeling it tonight, not after today…” It was true, he didn’t want to ignore his problems for the night, not when she’d call him out on it later anyway. Plus, Hailey was way more fun than a Hawks game.

She eyed him cautiously, “As long as you aren’t ditching on my account.”

Jay laughed, “I am.” Hailey glared at him. “Not cause you need it, cause I do.” Her expression softens as Jay grabs his keys and coat, “Come on, drinks on me.”

Hailey smiled, falling into step behind him. “You spoil me.”

2 - they don’t call you in the middle of the night, couldn’t even tell you why…

Hailey shot up in her bed, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. She held a hand to it, trying to control her breathing. She hated to admit it, but nightmares were a constant issue for her, it was rare that she slept a full night.

It made sense, the trauma of her childhood, in addition to the horrors she sees on the force. When her mind wasn’t actively fighting against the memories, they were all consuming. Tonight though, was a special type of terror. It was often that Hailey dreamed of her green eyed partner, but sometimes he snuck into her nightmares. Every once in a while, she was transported back to that day, the day she almost lost him. And even though he lived, in her mind at night, the fear that he didn’t was overwhelming.

She rolled over, clutching her pillow. All rationality said he was fine, probably asleep in his own bed. Her phone caught her eye, like it was pulling her to it. It sat there taunting her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, she just needed to hear his voice.

Obviously, she had him on speed dial, only needing to click his contact. The ringing started and after the fourth one, she considered hanging up. Then after the fifth… “Hello?” A groggy voice asked.

“Hi.” She said softly. She had the sudden urge to throw her phone out the window.

Jay sat up immediately, running his hand over his face, “Hailey? What’s wrong?”

Hailey froze, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Nothing.”

“Okay?” He said, not really convinced.

“I just needed to make sure you were okay.” Hailey rushed out. She blushed to herself, thankful that he couldn’t see her crimson cheeks.

That woke Jay up all the way, he sighed, his voice laced with concern. “Hailey, I’m fine.” He waited a few seconds. “Are you?”

Hailey took a breath, she debated confessing everything she had been feeling lately. How affected she was by her dreaming that he was dead. “Uh, just a bad dream.”

“About?” He asked.

“That day.” She said softly. He didn’t say anything. “I’m okay, Jay.” She said,trying to reassure him.

She heard rustling over the line, “I’m sorry Hailey.” He said, “For what I put you through.”

“I know.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening to each other breathe. It was oddly comforting, the constant assurance that the other one was there. “Jay?” Hailey asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay on the phone...until I fall asleep?” She asked, cautiously. It was a strange ask, especially because Hailey knew that there was no way she was going back to sleep, but she wasn’t ready to hang up, and she wasn’t ready to talk.

Jay sat there shocked, there was something so intimate about her request, something he wasn’t expecting, but certainly something he wasn’t upset about. “Yeah, I’ll be right here.”

They both laid back down in their respective beds, phones laying on the pillow next to them. Eventually Hailey heard the sound of soft snores, she smiled to herself. She closed her eyes and just listened: he was alive and he was there.

3 - they don’t almost say “i love you,” when they’re downtown somewhere just a little drunk...

Jay sat in between Kevin and Will at Molly’s knocking back his third beer. They were celebrating Adam’s birthday, which meant they were in for a night full of alcohol. Adam was a bit of a control freak when it came to his birthday, insisting that everyone was at his beck and call for the day. They all let it slide, after all, he acted like their own personal assistant on each of their birthdays.

“Okay boys.” Adam called to the long line of their friends sitting at the bar. “Time for shots!”

Kevin laughed, “Are you paying?”

Adam shrugged, “The party is on me tonight, but you all are responsible for getting me home alive.”

Kevin nodded, looking to Jay, who nodded. “Copy that.” He turned to Herrmann, “I’m going to need two of those badboys and a glass of that fancy bourbon I know you are hiding back there.”

“Make that two,” Jay said, holding up his hand.

Hailey, Kim and a few of the other girls watched the antics from across the bar. Stella came over, carrying a tray of miscellaneous cocktails and bottles. Kim’s jaw dropped and Hailey started laughing. Stella shrugged, setting the tray down. “I heard Ruzek’s buying.” She said, before floating back over to the bar.

“Thank you!” Hailey called.

Sylvie picked up a cup filled with green liquid, “Why is it green?”

“Absinthe?” Kim asked.

Hailey quickly took the drink from Sylvie, “Believe me, you don’t want this.”

Sylvie laughed, picking a different drink. “Yeah, probably not.”

Hailey smiled, taking her pick of the tray. She played it safe, pulling a beer off the back. “Lame.” Gianna teased.

Hailey shrugged, “Someone has to get those losers home.” She glanced at the bar, watching her partner down a shot with Adam.

Kim raised her glass, urging the other girls to do the same. “Happy Birthday Adam.” She said, and they all took a sip.

About thirty minutes later, Jay was more gone than he had been in a long time. The man could hold his liquor, but he could not keep up with Kevin or Kelly. He was handed another shot by his brother, who was right there with him. Jay tossed it back, barely feeling the burn.

He slumped over on his stool and turned to scan the bar, his gaze landed on his partner and it stayed there shamelessly. She was laughing, her head thrown back and her body visibly shaking. He smiled, leaning back against the bar and just watched.

Kevin glanced over, following his friend's gaze. He chuckled. “Jay, man.” He said, nudging his shoulder. “You’re staring.

“No I’m not.” Jay said, his gaze never leaving her.

“Sure.” Kevin slurred, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around to face the bar. Jay glared at him, Kevin held up his hands in surrender. “I’m just trying to help you out.”

“Chuckles is staring at you.” Trudy teased Hailey from across the table. Hailey, not so subtly, snapped her head around, causing the whole table to laugh. “Well, he’s not now.”

Hailey slowly faced her friends again, her cheeks bright red. “Yeah, just checking.”

Sylvie giggled, she had taken a small sip of the absinth anyway. “You like him.”

Hailey shook her head, “What? No.” She stared down her drink, “We’re partners. He’s my best friend.”

“Okay.” Kim said, smirking, everyone else following suit.

Before he knew it, Jay’s gaze was back on Hailey. She was so pretty, he didn’t even understand how someone could be so beautiful. He picked up the full shot glass, downing it quickly. He had spent the whole night thinking about her, and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel the way he did anymore.

Jay pushed himself off the stool, stumbling a little, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he made way across the bar. “Hi Hailes.” He said, grabbing her attention.

Hailey smiled brightly. “Hey, having fun?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. She could tell he had been just by the way he was swaying in front of her.

Jay nodded, “Yeah...um...I need to tell you something.”

The whole table watched him eagerly, “Yeah?” She asked, her heart racing.

Will looked over and his eyes widened at the empty seat next to him. “Kev.” He said.

Kevin looked over, “Shit.” He said. He motioned for Will to follow him and they raced over to Jay.

“I-” He started, but Kevin and Will appeared on either side of him.

“Hi Hailey.” Kevin said.

“Bye Hailey,” Will continued, before grabbing his brother's arm and yanking him away from her. Hailey sat there in shock as they walked away, talk about a let down.

Jay huffed, ripping his arms away. “What was that?” He snapped.

“It was us saving your ass.”

4 - they don’t talk about the future, and put each other in it…

Hailey shifted in her seat, turning her body slightly towards the center console. She held up the camera in her hand, looking through the lens. She snapped a picture of the license plate of the car that just rolled up.

“You see that?” Jay asked from the driver's seat, leaning back. Hailey nodded, taking another picture. Jay scribbled down the make and model into his notes before they watched the driver re-enter the car and drive away.

A few minutes went by and they sat in silence once again, they had been on a stakeout for several hours and all they had to show for it was a few license plates. Hailey sighed, “So, the Sergeants exam sign up was posted this week.” She said, bringing up something she’d been meaning to for several weeks.

“Okay?” Jay said, “You planning on taking it?” He asked, chuckling.

Hailey shook her head, laughing lightly. “Me? No way. I think you should.”

“What?” Jay, finally looked over at her.

Hailey looked at him in disbelief, he really hadn’t thought about it? “Jay, you’ve been a detective for almost ten years, don’t you feel like it’s time to take the next step?” She asked.

Jay shrugged, “I hadn’t really thought about it...maybe in a couple more years. Why? You sick of me?” He teased.

“No,” Hailey said, rolling her eyes. “I just want you to succeed, and Voight has always said you’ll take the unit one day…”

“Yeah, one day.” He said, cracking a smile. To be honest, he had thought about the test, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to potentially move on from Intelligence or from his partner.

Hailey turned to face him completely, “Well, when one day comes, I’ll help you study.”

Jay watched her, her smile so genuine. He had just said that he was going to wait a couple more years, and Hailey intended to be there for them. “So, you’re keeping me around?”

“Yeah, you haven’t pissed me off yet.” Jay gave her a look, “Much.” Hailey took a breath. “I’m serious Jay, I’ve got your back, no matter what, no matter when.”

“Thanks.” Jay said, squinting at her.

Hailey scoffed, “You sound surprised…”

Jay shook his head, “I’m not surprised, it’s just nice to hear you say it.” He turned to face her, “We don’t talk like this very much.”

“Yeah, cause you show emotion once every three weeks.” Hailey teased, slapping his bicep.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.”

Hailey laughed along with him, leaning her head against the window. “Jay, you know I’d follow you anywhere, even to another unit. I’m not losing this.” She gestured between the two of them.

Jay nodded, he knew she was talking about their partnership, but couldn’t help but hope she meant something else. “I know, and you’ll always have a spot, wherever I am.”

“Good.”

5 - they don’t stand around playing with their keys, finding reasons not to leave…

“Jay, can you stop hovering.” Hailey said, turning to face him. He had been following her around her kitchen for fifteen minutes while she did random things. He had brought her home from the hospital a few hours earlier, and he hadn’t left her alone since.

She was tackled down by a suspect earlier that morning and after getting checked out by Will, they learned that she had a few bruised ribs. It was nothing too serious, but it was enough for Jay to have a mini aneurysm about it, which is why Hailey was coming close to stabbing him with the knife she was trying to put away.

Jay took a step back at her harsh words, putting his hands up. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Hailey stood up straight, placing her hands on her hips. “I think I’m capable of unloading my dishwasher.”

“Alright,” He said, admitting defeat. He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you, thanks for dinner.” She said kindly, before turning back to her work.

Jay opened the door, watching her for a few more seconds. He was about to leave when heard a thud, followed by a hiss. Within seconds, the door was slammed shut and he was back by her side. “Hailey.” He said, picking up the bowls that fell on the floor.

She huffed, leaning against the counter, hand draped over her stomach to cover her rib. “I’m fine, I just couldn’t reach.” She explained, nodding at the open cabinet.

Jay sighed, “You’re not fine.” He set the stack of bowls neatly in the cabinet before turning to face her. “Come on.”

Hailey rolled her eyes and followed him into the living room, sitting down on the couch next to him. He threw a blanket over her before getting up again. “What are you doing?” Hailey called after him.

There were sounds of rummaging in the kitchen, and then a few seconds later Jay appeared with a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. “Here.” He said, “You should take these.”

He handed her the cup and Hailey took it gratefully. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” He took a step back, standing next to the couch. He shifted nervously, keeping his eyes on her. “Well, I guess I’m gonna go. Promise me you’ll stay put?” He asked, and Hailey nodded. “Okay, Goodnight Hailey.” He said, before walking out of the room.

Hailey sighed, as much as she hated being fawned over, she didn’t want him to leave. “Jay!” She yelled.

Two seconds later he was standing in front of her again, “Yeah?”

“I’m probably going to need your later…” She said, watching a smile appear on his face. “Do you just want to stay?”

“Yes.” He said immediately, “I mean…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “If you really need me to.”

Hailey laughed, “I do.” Jay took it as an invitation to reclaim his seat on the couch, pulling the other half of the blanket over him. Hailey leaned her head on his shoulder and stayed put, exactly like she promised she would.

but we do…

Hailey sat with her head resting in her hand as she watched Jay from across the room. She was staring, and it was obvious, but he was too busy chatting up some girl to notice her gaze. Molly’s was crowded, like normal, but tonight she had decided to sit alone. She had been watching the girl flirt with her partner for a while now, and she didn’t want to bring anyone else down with her mood.

She thought things had changed, that maybe Jay felt the same way about her, but the look on his face right now was telling her otherwise. Hailey sighed, averting her gaze and staring absently at her phone, trying to distract herself. It wasn’t working.

“You know,” A familiar redhead said as they slid into the seat across from her, “You could just tell him how you feel.”

Hailey sat up straight, looking at the other Halstead in disbelief. “What?”

Will laughed, “Don’t even deny it Hailey, I’ve been watching you make eyes at my brother for the last hour.”

“I’m not making eyes.” She snapped, keeping her gaze trained on him.

“Okay.” Will said, taking a sip of his beer. “Just for the record, I think you would be satisfied with his answer.”

Hailey jumped off her stool, throwing a ten down on the table. She was glad she had decided to only have one beer, she was sober enough to get the hell out of there. “Goodnight Will.” She said shortly before rushing towards the door, not giving her partner a second glance as she passed.

Jay watched the blur of blonde hair fly past him, noticing that it was Hailey walking out the door. His eyebrows laced together and he stood, “It was really great to see you Marissa, but I need to go.” He said quickly before grabbing his jacket and racing out the door after his partner, he was gone so fast that he didn’t even hear the girl say goodbye.

“Hailey!” He called after her.

Hailey turned around, she was only a feet ahead of him, she blamed her short legs. “I’m fine Jay, go back to your date.” She said a little harsher than she meant to before turning to walk away again.

“Date?” He asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him. “Hailey, that was Will’s ex-girlfriend, I was friends with her brother in high school, we were just catching up.”

Hailey scoffed, “That little shit, ugh, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to explain yourself to me Jay, we’re just friends.”

Jay ran his hands through his hair, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Are we?” He snapped. That got Hailey’s attention, she watched him closely as he took a step forward. “Hailey, I’ve to convince myself that there was nothing here, because you are my best friend. But friends don’t act the way we do, I saw you watching me tonight, that wasn’t a ‘friendly’ look.” He said.

Hailey blushed, looking at the ground. “Jay-”

He tilted her chin up to look at him. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I can’t. I love you Hailey...and I think you love me too.” Hailey swore she stopped breathing for a second, his eyes were locked on her and she couldn't believe what he was saying. She searched his face for any trace of regret or concern for her, because half of her still thought she was hallucinating. “Feel free to say something-” She reached up and pulled him down to her, attaching their lips. Jay arms secured themselves around Hailey’s waist as he lifted her up to meet his height, her arms wrapping around his neck.

Jay held her tightly against him, his lips never leaving hers. Finally, Hailey pulled away, breathless. “For the record,” She said, taking a deep breath, her hand running down the side of his face. “You’re my best friend too.” Jay smiled, but she knew he was waiting for something else. “And I love you too.”

…

A/N: I’ve had the idea for this fic for forever, so I’m glad I finally had a reason to write it. I’ve been a Maddie & Tae (ft. lyrics from “Friend’s Don’t) fan since the beginning and I’ve always thought that this song was the Upstead anthem. It’s perfect for them. Thanks for reading!

#upsteadlovesongs2021 #jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead imagines #chicago pd #one chicago

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anna-justice · 3 years

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Not a Race - Upstead

Summary: Jay and Will revisit a conversation they had years ago, and this time it has a happy ending. (I promise Hailey shows up later lol)

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff

Requested: No

…

Jay pulled up in front of his and Hailey’s now shared apartment, putting the truck in park. “I’ll see you at Molly’s later?” He asked his girlfriend, confirming their plans.

“Yes Jay.” Hailey said, rolling her eyes. “I will be there at nine, the exact same time I said I was going to be there five times today.”

“And who are you supposed to pick up?” Jay questioned, smirking at her.

“Trudy.” Jay gave her a pointed look, “I am supposed to fake an emergency, but bring her to Molly’s instead.”

Jay smiled at Hailey, finding her annoyance adorable. “I love you.” He said, his demeanor softening a bit.

Hailey’s grumpy look faded and she leaned across the center console, pecking him on the lips. “I love you too.” Jay reached out and pulled her back to him, kissing her again. Hailey smiled into it before reluctantly pulling away. “You gotta go,” she sighed. “How’d you get roped into to doing this anyway?” She asked as she opened the truck door.

“Kim.” Jay said, and Hailey nodded. “Five year anniversaries are a big deal apparently.”

“Apparently.” Hailey laughed, shutting the door. Jay rolled down the window, not quite ready to leave yet. “Platt and Mouch better appreciate it, they’ve stolen so much of my Jay time lately.”

Jay chuckled, “Babe, we work together...and live together. You see me at least twenty-three hours out of the day.”

Hailey shrugged, “It’s not enough.” She smirked at him before heading towards the front door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wear something pretty.” Jay called at her, laughing.

After he was sure she was safely inside, he pulled out of the parking spot and out of the parking lot. He made the short drive to his brother's apartment, where Will was waiting for him. He was feeling a little jittery, so he opted for the stairs to hopefully wear him out a little bit. “Hey man.” He said, entering the apartment. (He had a key in case Will ever did something stupid...like lose his.)

“Hey.” Will said, getting up off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. “You want something to drink?” He asked.

“No, I’m good.” Jay said, leaning against his counter.

“How are you feeling?” Will asked, taking a sip of the water bottle he got himself.

Jay shrugged, “I’m good.” Will eyed him, “Listen man, I know we talked about it before, but I just want to make sure that it’s okay...again.” Jay thought back to what felt like a lifetime ago, a few days before Erin left for New York.

Jay stood in front of the whiteboard with Will, looking through photos of victims from their recent drug case. “At least you guys get overtime.” Will said, before fishing in his pocket, Will pulled a red velvet box, surprising Jay. Will had seemed so against him proposing to Erin that he was sure he wouldn’t let him near their mom’s ring. “Mom’s ring. She always said it’s not a race, but whoever meets the right girl first gets the ring.”

Jay took the box in his hands, chuckling. “Hmm.” His mom was so important to him, and having Erin wear her ring felt like the blessing they needed, like his mom was a part of it.

Will watched his brother with caution, but smiled kindly. “You sure about this?” Jay stared blankly at him and Will nodded, he always knew he was the king of stupid questions. “You tell dad?”

“Why do I have to tell dad? It’s mom’s ring, not his.” Jay rushed out, immediately jumping down his brother's throat. Kevin interrupted them before Will could say anything, but Jay walked away feeling confident in his decision.

And he was, maybe even as confident as he was now. Jay pulled the same velvet box out of his pocket and set it on the counter. “Will, I’m sure.” He said, and this time he had the words to express how he was feeling. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life, but I already had one chance with this ring and if you want it-”

“Jay.” Will said, cutting him off. “I know mom always said it wasn’t a race, but you won. Hailey is…”

“The most amazing person that I have ever met.” Jay sighed out.

Will laughed, “I was going to say ‘going to love it,’ but that works too.”

Jay beamed at his brother, taking the box back in his hand. “She’s the one Will, I know it. And I never thought I would say this, but I wish I could tell dad.”

Will placed a comforting hand on his brother’s back, “He knows man. They both do.”

Jay took a big breath and laughed nervously. “I’m proposing.” He said.

“Yeah, you are.” Will said, sharing his brother’s obvious joy. All he ever wanted was for Jay to be happy, and he knew without a doubt that Hailey was it for him.

“You think she’ll say yes?” Jay asked in a teasing voice.

Will laughed loudly, “I’d say it’s a solid 80 percent.”

...

About an hour later Jay was back in his truck headed to Molly’s. It was almost seven o’clock, two hours from Hailey’s arrival and the unit had a lot to do before she got there. Almost like she could hear him thinking about her, he got a text.

Hailes: I know I’m bringing Trudy, but who is in charge of Mouch? Shouldn’t they be coming together?

Shit. He hadn’t thought of that.

Jay: Ritter is getting Mouch. Don’t worry about it, we have a plan.

Hailes: Okay, whatever you say.

Jay sighed, he would admit a fake anniversary party was a little lame, but the only other thing he could think of was a fake baby shower and something told him that it wouldn’t really be appropriate to throw one of those in a bar.

Hailes: Also, “in charge” Jay is kinda sexy...you should help throw parties more often.

Jay smirked at his phone while he sat in the parking lot, shaking his head he texted back.

Jay: Good to know ;)

Jay: Get ready for the best birthday of your life.

When he pulled the door open, he was met with Kim shouting orders at Herrmann, Mouch, Kevin and Adam. Most of the decorations were already hung and he was informed that there were ten bottles of champagne hidden behind the counter.

“Wow. It looks amazing in here.” He looked at Kim directly. “Thank you.”

Kim grinned, “Of course! It’s not everyday that one of my oldest friends proposes to my best friend.” She says, playfully punching his arm. Vanessa had been gone for over a year and in that time Hailey and Kim had gotten really close, they all had. After years of losing one person after another, the members of intelligence felt more like a family than they ever had before.

“This is crazy, isn’t it?” Jay asked, Adam and Kevin trickling into the conversation.

“It’s a long time coming, that’s for sure.” Adam said, wrapping his arm around Kim.

Kevin scoffed, “Oh, like you can talk.” He teased.

Jay’s nerves got worse and worse, “This isn’t too much right?” Jay asked his friends, “You think she’ll like it?”

“Jay.” Kim said, gaining his attention. “You could slip a ring pop on Hailey’s finger in front of the district and she would love it, because she loves you. But this,” She gestures around the room, “this is beautiful and incredibly sweet and romantic. This is everything she deserves.”

Jay smiles with pride, he wants to be everything she deserves, but Hailey Upton deserves the entire world and he wouldn’t mind spending his entire life trying to give her that. “Burgess, we just need to get you a t-shirt that says ‘I’m basically a hallmark card.’” Kevin says, motioning across his chest.

“Let’s have a toast.” Kim says and on que Herrmann has glasses ready for them.

Kevin raises his glass, “To the OGs.”

Kim rolls her eyes, but raises her glass as well, “To Jay and Hailey.”

Jay raises his glass and so does Adam, giving a toast of his own. “To upstead.”

Jay lowers his arm and glares at Adam, “Man, you have got to stop calling us that.”

“Anyway,” Kim says, “To love.”

“True love.” Adam interjects.

“Adam.” Kim snaps.

“What, you're the only one that gets to be a hallmark card? That’s not fair.”

“How about this,” Jay says, raising his glass again. “To me not shitting my pants before she gets here.”

They all laugh, “I’ll drink to that,” Kevin says shrugging and then all down their drinks.

…

At eight forty-five Jay stood at the bar, his hands sweaty and his knees a little shaky. It was fifteen minutes until go time and he got more anxious by the second. He was pretty sure she was going to say yes, but he wanted it to be perfect for her. As perfect as she was for him.

Most of their friends have arrived and were talking amongst themselves around the perimeter of the bar, leaving room for Hailey to eventually make her way down the middle to Jay. Everyone was buzzing, taking in the decorations and consuming copious amounts of alcohol, something that Jay had decided against doing even though he would love a beer (or five) right about now.

At three til nine, he got a text from Hailey stating that they had arrived and Jay shushed everyone, standing in the middle of the room to wait for his (hopefully) future wife.

Hailey walked down the sidewalk with the desk sergeant, hiding her smile. She was excited to see what her friends had come up with for the happy couple. They reached the door and Hailey smirked at Trudy, “Hey sarge.”

“Upton?”

“Happy anniversary.”

This time Trudy smirked, “It isn’t my anniversary.”

“What-” Hailey started, but froze in her spot as she opened the door. The sight in front of her was breathtaking. The usual fairy lights were still hung up, but also hanging from the ceiling were hundreds of pictures, pictures of her and Jay. Hailey felt her eyes welling up with tears, she took a few steps forward, looking around to see all of her closest friends, her family. At a closer look, she could see all of the tables had empty bottles of various alcohols, all labeled with dates and cards with memories.

He was grinning ear to ear, but when she saw him, it somehow got even bigger. “Jay.” She laughed out.

“Hey.” He said, meeting her in the middle of the room.

“I hate to break it to you, but you decorated for the wrong couple.” She joked.

“Oh no, really?” He gasped and Hailey laughed.

Jay took her in, she was wearing her signature black jeans and a blue sweater. She looked as beautiful as ever, and he was ready. “Quite the crowd…” She whispered.

“I know, I’m a little nervous.” He said, reaching out to take her hand in his. “Hailey Anne Upton, there are not enough words to describe how much I love you. And I have never been good at expressing my feelings, you know that better than anyone. But I have said it a million times and I will say it a million more: I would follow you anywhere. I looked at you and knew you were the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I looked at you and I trusted you, I have trusted you since the day I met you. I look at you, and I’ve got it. I look at you and I see the rest of my life, I see that you are everything I have ever wanted and more. I look at you and I know that you are it for me, there will never be anyone like you Hailey.”

Hailey felt the tears begin to roll down her face, he used her own words against her. Jay reached in his pocket, pulling out just a ring. “This is my mother’s ring, and for so long she was the most important woman in my life. But she has been gone for a long time and Hailey you have taken that place, and she would have loved you. So,” Jay said, finally getting down on one knee. “Will you make me the luckiest man alive, and marry me?”

Hailey took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together. “Yes.” She choked out before launching herself into his arms. Jay caught her with ease and kissed her passionately as their friends cheered for them. Jay reluctantly set Hailey back down on the floor, pressing another kiss to her lips before stepping back and finally slipping the ring on her finger.

“Perfect fit.” He said, pulling her to him and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.” He said, peeking down at her.

“I love you so much.” She hugged him tighter, “And I cannot wait to be your wife.”

“Let’s just elope, we can get married tomorrow.” Jay said.

Hailey scoffed, “That’s a funny joke, Kim would kill me.”

“Good point.” He said, holding her tightly. “I’m thinking of a June wedding.”

“Did you really just say that?” Hailey burst out laughing.

Jay grimaced, “We don’t have to talk about it…”

Hailey turned to face him, pressing her palms to his chest. “How about this? We can get married whenever and wherever you want, as long as you wear your thigh holster during the whole ceremony.”

Jay gave her a shocked look, “Please tell me you aren’t kidding.”

Hailey got up on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “I’m dead serious.”

“Thank God.”

The happy couple accepted some congratulations before sneaking over to the bar. It had turned into a full on party, Herrmann turned the music up and everything. “You know, Hailey Halstead has a nice ring to it.” She confessed as she leaned into Jay.

“I think so.” He said, beaming at her.

“Excuse me everyone.” Kim said, clinking her glass as they were passed around to everyone. She raised hers, “To the happy couple, I love you both and I am so happy for you. We all are.”

“And to the fact that Jay didn’t shit his pants!” Adam interjected from beside her.

“What?” Hailey whispered under her breath.

“Don’t worry about it…” Jay muttered, mentally punching Adam in the face.

Kim shrugged, “Sure.” They all raised their glasses and cheered. Jay set his and Hailey’s down and dipped her dramatically, bringing his lips to hers once again.

“I love you Jay Halstead,” She said as he brought her back to a standing position.

“I love you too, the future Mrs. Hailey Halstead.”

…

A/N: I watched the clip from 4x23 and then debated posting this idea just as a discussion comment, but then I was like “why not” and I just wrote it! I’m so glad I did, I wrote it so fast and loved writing it. I also hope that this didn’t come off as Erin bashing, I try not to write like that. I was the biggest linstead fan and I still love Erin, I just have moved on from linstead and wanted to show the potential parallels. Anyway, I promise I will update Lost or Found soon, it’s been crazy the past few months and I honestly haven’t had the motivation to write, but the scooby gang will be back soon! Thank you so much for reading! <3

#jay halstead #hailey upton #hailey upton x jay halstead #jay halstead x hailey upton imagine #upstead imagines #upstead #kim burgess #will halstead #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #chicago pd #chicago pd imagines

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anna-justice · 4 years

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When The Party’s Over - Upstead

Summary: It’s New Years Eve and Jay isn’t a big fan of Hailey’s boyfriend. (Booth vs. Hailey college addition)

Warnings: Physical/Mentioned sexual abuse, swearing…

Requested: No

...

“I think red is your color.” Kim says as Hailey pulls down the hem of the piece of fabric she’s wearing. Hailey shifts uncomfortably in front of the mirror as she looks to Vanessa, who is hiding her laughter with a pillow. “You have to wear that dress, you look amazing.”

Hailey turns to her side and scoffs at the sight of her barely covered behind. “Kim, I’m not sure that this counts as a dress.” Kim frowns, sighing as she turns to search for the perfect dress for Hailey.

“I don’t know Hailes, Rony would sure love to see you in it.” Vanessa says.

Hailey throws the now discarded dress at her from across the room, slipping into the next one from Kim. “I’m not sure I care what Rony thinks.” She smooths out the shimmery, dark blue material. “I do know that I like this.” She states, changing the subject.

“So you are still going to break up with him then?” Kim asks, plopping down on the bed next to Vanessa.

Hailey pulls her hair over her shoulder and gives herself a once over in the mirror. “Yeah.” She turns back to her friends, “The feelings have faded, I can’t pretend there is something there anymore.”

“Good for you then.” Vanessa says, jumping up. The girls get themselves together, putting on their shoes and fixing any blemishes. Hailey’s phone buzzes and she smiles down at it.

Jay: We still on for breakfast tomorrow?

Hailey quickly types back a reply, but her grin did not go unnoticed. “Jay?” Kim asks, raising an eyebrow. She nods, sticking her phone is her clutch.

Vanessa sighs, “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees you tonight.” Kim giggles as Hailey swats at Vanessa’s arm.

Jay had been Hailey’s best friend for years. They met the first day of classes their freshman year, Hailey a Criminal Justice major and Jay still undeclared. They clicked right away. It’s actually how she met Kim, she began dating Jay’s friend Adam and they quickly became friends. Then she met Kevin, who pledged the same frat as Jay and Adam. Vanessa was the last to be added, she met Hailey in Constitutional Law. Hailey loved her friends like family, because they were. That was something they all had in common, they each had a reason for needing the others. And even though Hailey had the most amazing friend group anyone could ask for, none of them were Jay.

It had always been a running joke between girls that Jay had feelings for Hailey. She of course always dismissed them, especially when she began dating Rony around eight months ago. But to Kim and Vanessa, he only added more fuel to the fire. He and Jay couldn’t stand each other, which was part of the reason that Hailey was ending things, even though she would never admit that to anybody. Hailey hadn’t told Jay that she was planning on breaking up with Rony, and she really wasn’t sure why. She told herself it was because she didn’t want to be influenced by his obvious opinion, but she was even without talking to him about it.

“Alright, let’s go.” Vanessa says, pulling the door to her and Hailey’s shared apartment open. Hailey grabbed her clutch off her bed and followed them out the door, into the endless party that was Chicago.

…

Jay grinned at his phone.

Hailey <3 : For sure, I’ll be ready at 9.

He shoved his phone back in his pocket. He thought back to freshman year when their little tradition started. Hailey had gotten rejected at the annual Alpha Delt New Year’s party by the upperclassmen she was crushing on. She got so drunk that they didn’t even make it to midnight, and she rang in the new year vomiting in the bathroom of Jay’s quad dorm. Instead of letting her wallow the next morning, Jay insisted that they get up and get breakfast. After that they decided to get breakfast after every big party they attended together, especially New Years, as to not let the other one give into their hangover.

“Man,” Adam says, pulling Jay out of his trance, “This is getting pathetic.”

Jay collapsed on the couch behind him, pretending to be clueless about Adam’s dig. “What?”

Adam tosses Jay a beer, “Just tell her already.” He takes a swig of his own, “This whole pining thing is not a good look for you.”

Jay fakes offense, “Wow Adame, that hurts.” He touches his hand to his chest, Adam chuckles. “And I am not pining. I’m just...silently awaiting the day that she realizes she is in love with me.” Adam gives him a pointed look. “Okay, I’m pining, but what do you care?”

“I hate seeing my best friend in pain.” Adam says, struggling to keep hold of his somber expression. Before Jay can respond, Adam’s phone dings. “That’s Kevin, we’re late. Come on.” Jay stands, grabbing his jacket and wallets and follows Adam out the door.

...

Hailey walked in the already crowded frat house and immediately began her search for Rony. Part of her felt bad for ruining his night, but she knew that if she didn’t do it tonight, she never would. She even purposefully didn’t come with him, as to not have to pretend she was happy. The middle of a party was the perfect place, quick and painless, he would probably be drunk and she could easily fade into the crowd.

After several minutes of wandering around the sea of wasted college students, she found her way back to her friends. Kim and Vanessa held questioning gazes as she approached, but Hailey shook her head.

Jay noticed the exchange, the way he notices everything Hailey does. “Where’s Rony?” He shouts over the music.

Hailey just shrugs, “No clue.” Jay nods, knowing that his voice would betray him, it wouldn’t be the first time he said something stupid like “good” or “thank God.”

Thankfully, everyone decides to move on, the clock continues the approach midnight and Hailey is very aware of Rony’s non-existence. She wasn’t upset, more angry. There was no feeling of sadness, she had no feelings for him, but it was odd that she had not seen him the entire night when he insisted that she come in the first place. She would have come anyway, but as of right now, she was present by his invitation.

Hailey excused herself from the group, saying she was yet again, going to look for Rony. Jay watched her closely, seeing that she looked more aggravated than hurt as she walked away. Hailey made her way to the staircase, ascending slowly as she looked through the crowd below her. She ran over to her “It’s not you, it’s me,” speech in her head as she searched, wanting to get the damn thing over with already.

Once at the top, she wandered from room to room, finding most of them locked. Smart boys. She thought. When she reached a door that was not locked, she swung it open to reveal a shirtless Rony on top of a girl with very little clothing on. “What the hell Rony?” She yelled, and his head whipped around.

His eyes looked panicked, “Hailey, baby, it’s not what it looks like.”

Hailey scoffs as the girl slides out from under him, grabbing her abandoned clothes and running for the door. “Wow, what a line. Got anything better?” She spit.

Rony rushed past her and shut the door, turning to look at her. “I’m so sorry, I lo-”

“We’re done Rony.”

Hailey attempted to walk around him but he grabbed her arm, “No, please, let’s talk.”

His grip tightened. “Rony that hurts,” she said, ripping her hand away, but he still wouldn’t let her past him. “I was going to end it anyway, there is nothing to ‘talk’ about.”

“When I say we’re going to talk, we are going to talk.” Hailey was shocked, Rony’s temper had always been bad, but this was a side of him she had never seen. He backed her across the room until her exposed back hit the cold dresser. “You know, you look amazing tonight.” He said, placing his hand on her hip.

Hailey sucked in a breath, “Let me go Rony.” He dug his fingers into her side and Hailey gasped in pain.

He pressed his weight into her, she was pinned against the dresser, he smiled and brought his face down to hers. “No.” Hailey thrashed, trying to get out of his grip, she tried to scream, but he delivered a harsh blow to her cheek. “Shut up.” She continued to wiggle around, her shouts muffled under his large hand. He grabbed her tight by her arms and slammed her harm against the wall, her head ricocheting off it.

She tried to call out again, but her head was spinning. She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he attached his lips to her neck. Hailey tried to push him off her, but he punched her square in the jaw, sending her flying into the dresser beside her before hitting the ground. She kicked and squirmed as he climbed on top of her, Rony responded by hitting her over and over again. He pressed his leg between her knees to separate them, it was then she began to cry, she felt so helpless, she had no strength left. “Rony, please, don’t…” He pushed her hand over her mouth once more, muffling her final scream.

Jay kept his eyes trained on the staircase as soon as she disappeared, which he realized was a while ago. Part of him wanted to go find her, but he knew she was probably with Rony somewhere, doing something he didn’t want to see. Jay shuddered at the thought, the possibility itself making him want to punch a wall.

Finally his curiosity got the best of him, he made his way to the stairs, not bothering to give an explanation to any of his friends. He had a bad feeling, and when it came to Hailey, that was all he needed.

When he made it to the stairs, he discovered the same thing as Hailey did: locked door after locked door. When he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the sound of muffled screams. Jay threw the door open to find a bloody Hailey with her dress hitched up over her hips underneath Rony. He saw red, he ripped Rony off of her and slammed him into the wall.

Hailey wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, she could barely see through her teary eyes, but she recognized Jay, who was using Rony as a punching bag. Hailey backed herself up against the opposite wall, trying to slow her breathing, but she couldn’t, she needed him. “Jay…” She whimpered.

That was all it took to pull Jay out of his rage, he was immediately at her side. He wrapped his arms around her and Hailey held on for dear life. He ran his fingers through her hair as she cried. He had absolutely no idea what to do, he knew he wanted to kill Rony, but that was it.

Hailey gripped him harder, “He-He was going to,” She said, hiccuping.

“Shhh, I know.” He said, his heart clenching in his chest. He held her tighter, if that was even possible. “I know.”

The two sat there for what felt like hours, Jay trying to calm Hailey, which was proving to be ineffective. Some time later, the rest of their friends began to look for them. Adam was the first to find them. He spotted the blood on the carpet, and then on the wall. “What the-Jay?” He yelled, “Holy shit, what happened?” He knelt down next to him.

Not long after, Kim came running in, “Hailey!” She looked over Hailey, who was now drifting in and out of consciousness. “We need to get her to the hospital now.” Adam nodded and called 911, Jay also told him to call the police, because he was making sure that Rony was going down, for some reason or another.

The ambulance ride was agonizingly slow, Jay found himself waiting in the ER for hours for an update. A doctor finally came to tell him that she was fine, they suspected bleeding in her brain, but all her scans came back clean. Jay followed him to her room, finding her awake when he got there. “Hailes,” He said, rushing to her side.

“Hi,” She said sheepishly as he took her hand.

Jay searched her face, the bruising leaving evidence of the terrible event. “How are you?”

“Thankful.” She said quickly, “Thank you...For pulling him off me, if you hadn’t-”

Jay saw her eyes fill with tears, “I know, I know.”

Hailey nodded, “So I guess we are going to have to raincheck on breakfast.”

Jay chuckled and Hailey cracked a slight smile. Hailey was able to check out the next morning, Jay drove her home, because he sat with her the whole night. Hailey thought back to her conversation with Vanessa earlier that night…

“I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees you tonight.” Vanessa said.

Hailey stared at Jay, finally seeing what everyone else saw. He had saved her, stayed with her, comforted her. He was like a knight in shining armor. Her gaze met her favorite set of green eyes and in that moment, Hailey Upton knew she was falling for Jay Halstead.

...

A/N: Part 2?

#hailey upton #jay halstead x hailey upton #jay halstead #jay halstead x hailey upton imagine #upstead imagines #upstead #Chicago PD #One Chicago #chicago pd imagines

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anna-justice · 4 years

Text

Lost or Found - 16

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

16 - My Man ...

After recovering from the initial shock of Jay’s words, Hailey turned to Severide and gave him a confident smile, one that didn’t show that she was completely unaware of Jay’s intentions. Severide looked between the two of them before smiling softly. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s all good man.” Jay said, grabbing Hailey’s hand. “See you around.” Jay pulled her away from him and around the corner out of sight.

He was not planning on asking Hailey to the dance like that and by the look on her face she wasn’t expecting it either. “Thanks” She said, leaning back against the locker.

“Yeah, of course.” Jay said, giving her a once over. “Are you okay?”

Hailey nodded, collecting herself. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Hailey-” Jay started.

“Let’s go find Kim, we’ve got things to do.” She cut him off, nodding her head towards the exterior doors. She knew what he was going to say, and she wanted to pretend for just a little longer that they were in fact going to the dance together. That his tie would match her dress and they would take photos with their parents gushing behind the camera. She wasn’t ready for him to take it all away yet.

So that’s exactly what they did, they went and found Kim, who was sitting on a bench outside with Sylvie. Hailey grabbed her hand, bidding Sylvie hello and goodbye all at the same time, pulling her away. They were running a bit behind schedule and if they didn’t get on top of things, Adam would have their heads.

…

Adam felt like he was going to shit his pants. Everything was set up, complete with Kevin filming from behind him. He was sure that Kim was going to say yes, but he had worked so hard to make this experience special and he was hoping he delivered.

Kim was extremely confused when Hailey tied the blindfold around her head as they neared her street. However, she was sure that her boyfriend had something to do with it. When the car stopped Hailey gasped and began to laugh and before she knew it she could hear Jay gasping for air too.

“What is going on guys?” Kim asked, throwing her hands around and unknowingly almost smacking Hailey in the process.

Hailey opened the door and grabbed her friends hands, “You’ll see.” Hailey steadied Kim and led her down the side walk to the front of her house, turning her so she was facing it.

Suddenly Kim was blinded and when she could finally see again she began to laugh. Her boyfriend was standing in front of her decked out in a boy scout uniform with a massive assortment of different colored balloons in his hand. She looked above him with a huge smile on her face.

Kim, are you UP for hoco?

She looked to Adam who just shrugged and Kim launched herself into his arms. He stumbled back in shock but caught her easily. Kim reached up and pulled his face to hers and connected their lips, causing Adam to nearly let go of the balls of helium he was holding.

Hailey stood next to Jay, watching him as he watched their friends. He was smiling so big that there was a tiny dimple near him mouth and his eyebrows raised way up into her forehead. He looked so happy and Hailey took a moment to igraine the image in her head. These moments are few and far between.

Adam pulled away after he heard a whistle (that he was assuming was from Jay). “Is that a yes?”

Kim nodded, trying to keep the happy tears out of her eyes. “Yes.” She said softly. She turned around and pointed to Hailey, “Now we have to go dress shopping!” She said and Hailey rolled her eyes but nodded, anything for her best friend.

Jay watched Hailey as she laughed with Kim. She was smiling so wide, her blonde hair looking even prettier that normal in the sunlight. God, she was gorgeous. The thought of her in a dress and heels was heart stopping, he imagined her and Kim trying on dress after dress (because of course Hailey would try on anything to make Kim happy). He watched intently as she laughed at Adam, who had accidently let go of a few balloons. She bent over, clutching her side as a beautiful, almost angelic, noise escaped from between her lips. Jay could listen to her laugh all day, he wished he could hear it more.

Kevin joined the party, stopping the recording before plucking a few balloons from Adam’s stash for his siblings. He would admit that he was a little disconnected at the moment, he was just so consumed by the season and his family.

The doll that Vinessa had been playing with really freaked him out, and when the same doll was no where to be found the next day, he was sure that someone was trying to talk to his little sister when he wasn’t there to protect her. Thankfully, Jordan had skated through unscathed and the only person he really had to worry about was Vinessa, at least for the time being.

Kim kept herself tucked into her boyfriends side for the rest of the day, basking in her contentment. She felt like the most important girl in the room, she always did with him. He treated her like an absolute princess, and he even agreed to be her escort for the homecoming court (which she had learned she was on that morning before school).

It was strange, that was something that her and Erin had always talked about doing together, but Kim felt now like she was doing it for her, to remember her. And now she was doing it with her favorite person in the world by her side.

…

Hailey huffed as she through her bags down on the floor in the entryway.

The next day, Kim had convinced her to go dress shopping after school and three and a half hours later she was finally home. With a dress, thank God. She loved it and so did Kim, and Trudy, who had sent her an approving text message after Hailey sent her a picture.

She felt the urge to sigh as she thought about Jay seeing her in it, in her head she imagined him smiling the way he had the day before, her focus completely on her. Him wearing a matching yellow tie and pinning a flower to him chest. She thought about them dancing and taking pictures. She wanted to go with him so bad.

“I’m home!” She called out as she made her way to the kitchen, nearly screaming when she saw someone standing behind the counter. She held a hand to her chest as the tall figure smirked. “Jesus Jay.” She said, trying to catch her breath. “What are you doing here?”

He motioned to the pizza box in front of him, “I brought dinner.” Hailey nodded (she didn’t even feel strange about it him just showing up with pizza) before reaching behind him to get plates and cups. “How was shopping? Did you get a dress?”

Hailey nodded again before sitting down on a stool across from him. “I did, actually.”

“Can I see it?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No, not until-” Hailey stopped dead in her tracks after she opened the box. She looked up and Jay was smiling, he gestured down to the box.

I know this is cheesy but... Hoco?

Hailey read the message again, and then again, to make sure it was real. The first part was written on the top lid of the box, while “Hoco?” was written in pepperoni’s on the pizza. Hailey felt like she was going to cry, Jay had asked her to homecoming and she literally couldn’t breathe.

“So?” He asked, eyeing her and trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating.

“Yes.” Hailey said, maybe a little to fast. She jumped off her stool and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You didn’t have to do this.”

Jay shrugged, “I wanted to.”

Hailey blushed, attempting to recover fast, but she wasn’t sure it was working. “Let’s just get one thing straight.” Jay cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t dance.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that.”

…

A/N: Y’all get ready because the next few chapters are about to be loaded!!

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #burzek au #kevin atwater #chicago pd #chicago pd au #one chicago #high school au

37 notes · View notes

ruzek-halstead · 4 years

Text

someday

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

erin is back in town and asks jay out for drinks. hailey isn't sure how to feel about it and finds herself at molly's, throwing back shots with will halstead (he totally ships upstead).

“plus, why would he get back together with erin when he’s clearly in love with you?”

masterlist || ao3

warnings: swearing, fluffery, mentions of erin lindsay

the team is all at their desks, catching up on paperwork when jay’s phone starts ringing.

he glances at it quickly, almost as if he plans on letting it go to voicemail, but then doubles back as his eyes widen. he hesitates to grab it, but ultimately decides he probably should. so, he grabs his phone and quietly ducks out to the break room.

hailey is watching, because of course she is. she happens to look up as his phone starts ringing, just in case it was hers, and catches his reaction. he isn’t very subtle about it, but he probably isn’t thinking people are watching him either. he spends a few minutes in the break room and hailey would be lying if she said she isn’t glancing at the door every few seconds.

her curiosity is starting to get the best of her, so she grabs her near empty coffee mug and subtly enters the break room.

when she enters, jay is sitting at the table. his phone is on the table and his chin is in his hands; his eyes are blank and he’s staring off into space.

“hey, you alright?” she questions as she fills her mug up with fresh coffee. she tries to act nonchalant, like she isn’t dying to know.

jay doesn’t reply.

hailey raises an eyebrow and sits down across from him at the table; his eyes don’t flit to her.

“jay?”

his light eyes finally lift to glance at her and he looks confused, and slightly desperate. “that was erin on the phone.”

there are things hailey expects to hear on the daily; even extremely off things, given what they do for a living. however, this is definitely not one of those things.

she chokes on a sip of her coffee and curses when it dribbles down her chin. “i’m sorry, what?”

jay allows himself to chuckle, watching as she licks her lips free of coffee. she’s glad she can still provide him some amusement. “erin. she’s in town and wants to see me.”

“oh,” it’s the only thing hailey can say because she doesn’t want to overstep; jay raises an eyebrow. “sorry, i'm just surprised is all.”

jay runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “you're telling me,” he mumbles in response. “what should i do?”

hailey's eyes widen; she isn’t expecting him to ask her that. “well, you have to go, right?” she replies, “i mean, she clearly wants to see you.”

jay's facial expression stays blank. “right…”

the passivity on jay's face starts to make hailey nervous; she can’t read his expression and has no idea what he’s thinking. so, she starts to babble.

“maybe she has something important to tell you, like maybe she’s pregnant,” jay's eyes snap to look at her and hailey blanches. “not with you, obviously.” jay is still staring at her and she cringes; she’s absolutely butchering this conversation. “or maybe she wants to get back together.”

somehow, hailey’s brain has not connected to her vocal cords and she still continues to speak.

hailey frowns; by saying that, it’s put unwelcome thoughts in her own mind, and she doesn’t like it. she doesn’t want to picture jay and erin back together; why the hell would she even mention it?

jay is clearly confused as well; he’s finally showing some emotion, as he can’t fathom why hailey would say such awkward things. but she looks uncomfortable and she refuses to make eye contact and she’s inching out of her seat, as if preparing to make a run for it. so, he doesn’t press.

“i guess i’ll just have to meet her to find out.”

hailey hates that answer. she hates it because now she’s planted the seed of a relationship in his brain and she knows as soon as he sees his former flame, he’ll go all heart eyes and that will be that. she hates it.

“hey hails,” her attention lands on her new roommate, who’s peeking her head in the doorway with a gentle smile, “i have to meet with a CI; voight says to bring some backup. you want in?”

hailey stands so fast; she nearly topples over her chair. “oh god, yes,” the reply flies out of her mouth nearly as quickly and vanessa knits her eyebrows together. “i mean, yeah, of course i’ll go with you.”

hailey spares a glance over at Jay and is slightly pleased to see him smirking; maybe he isn’t as far gone as she thinks.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

that night, hailey finds herself at molly’s.

she has no idea where erin and jay plan on meeting up, but she prays that it isn’t molly's because she is in desperate need of shots.

the rest of her team isn’t here either. kim and adam went to dinner (honestly, can those two just get together already?) and surprisingly, vanessa is out with kevin, but she has no idea where. so, hailey sits at the bar by her lonesome, but it’s fine.

she downs another shot of tequila.

she’s fine.

her pity-party is interrupted when a stool is dragged next to her. she looks up to see the other halstead, nursing a beer and a smile. “hey herrmann, can we get another round please?” he asks the older fireman.

“you got it,” he replies and then glances at hailey, “i'll throw in another round of shots on the house. looks like this one needs it,” he drops his right eyelid in a wink.

hailey opens her mouth to object because this is absolutely mortifying but nothing comes out. “make it a double, please,” she says instead.

“oh no, what did he do now?” will asks in jest, gladly accepting the drinks herrmann is laying out for them.

hailey smirks. “who?” she asks innocently.

“you may be a detective, but i can also see through your bullshit,” will sasses with a raised eyebrow. “now tell me, what stupid thing did my brother do today?”

hailey laughs; she doesn’t usually spend much time with will, at least not without jay around. but it’s nice; his company is nice. “he didn’t do anything,” she replies, and she isn’t lying. but somehow it feels like she is.

“so, what’s the reason for all this?” he motions to the shots, which only spurs her to take another.

her face scrunches at the burn of the amber liquid and she turns to look at him. his face is blank, save for a little curiosity. but he’s there and he’s ready to listen and it just comes pouring out.

“erin is in town.”

will's jaw instantly drops, but he recovers quickly. he takes a hold of his own shot glass and holds it out to her, waiting. she brings their glasses together in cheers and throws it back.

“how did jay react to that?”

hailey nearly laughs. “like a robot. honestly, do you bottle up your emotions as much as he does?”

“i'm proud to say that no, i do not,” he chuckles. “i'm much more emotional than jay—don’t tell him that, though.”

hailey laughs and she’s so glad for the distraction. “he didn’t really say anything, and i couldn’t read him. so, i got nervous and maybe said some things i shouldn’t have.”

will raises an eyebrow in curiosity. “what kind of things?”

“like maybe she’s pregnant,” his eyes widen and he bursts out in laughter, “and then i just had to mention that maybe she wants to get back together,” she rolls her eyes, “honestly, he’s going to fold like a pancake as soon as he sees her.”

will is still laughing. “i'm not sure where the pancake reference is coming from, but i can assure you jay doesn’t want anything more than closure and a beer.”

“how do you know that?” hailey asks, pouting. then she straightens up and drops her facial expression because she’s a goddamn adult for fuck sakes.

“you know jay, but i know him better,” will explains, “he was devastated when she left. but that’s just it; she left. and she had no intention of coming back. he’s dumb and reckless sometimes, but he wouldn’t put himself through that again.”

“oh,” hailey exhales softly, suddenly feeling ridiculous for her overreaction. “i guess that makes sense.”

will smirks. “he's not the best with change. he had to adapt to her leaving and he can’t live in fear knowing that she might have to leave again; she didn’t even say goodbye.”

hailey remembers the first months of their partnership. he was stubborn and dark, and it took her a while to get through to him; it seems stupid but the first morning he brought her a coffee without having to ask her order beforehand, that’s when she knew things were going to change. and they did; look at them now.

“plus, why would he get back together with erin when he’s clearly in love with you?”

hailey's head whips around to stare at will with wide, worried eyes. but his gaze is locked on molly’s front doors where jay has just entered; he’s looking around, wondering if anyone from his unit is here (since no one replied to his texts in the group chat), but then he spots his brother’s wild red hair and his blonde partner beside him.

“i guess this is my cue to leave,” will says quickly as he rushes to finish the last of his beer.

hailey latches onto his arm, panicking. “what?” she hisses. “no, you can’t leave! not after saying something like that!”

“oh, do you hear that?” will says, standing and grabbing his coat. “i’m being paged. sorry hailey, but i have to go save lives,” he replies, smirking because clearly he is not being paged and hailey is livid.

hailey narrows her eyes. “okay halstead, play the doctor card; i see how it is,” she responds, but sharply adds, “i’ll remember this.”

“you’re a sassy woman, hailey,” will smiles, “i see why my brother likes you so much.”

this time he makes sure jay hears it as well and thoroughly enjoys watching hailey drown her embarrassment in her beer, while jay looks on, confused as hell.

“hey jay! sorry, i gotta run. busy doing doctor stuff, you know?”

will doesn’t wait for a response and he’s out the door before jay can even blink.

“he's such a loser,” jay snorts and vacates will's old spot. he orders a beer for himself and another one for hailey and herrmann obliges, holding back his smirk. “am i missing something here?”

hailey shakes her head quickly. “no, of course not,” she replies, “how’s erin?”

“she's good,” he replies casually. hailey continues to look at him and when he notices, she motions for him to go on. “oh, i don’t know. she's fine, i guess. came down for a case and wanted to check in. didn't call the rest of the unit because she’s leaving tomorrow and didn’t want to make a big deal.”

his answers are so vague and she’s getting frustrated.

“jay, she’s your ex-girlfriend. that's all?” hailey prods; she can’t help herself.

his green eyes zero in on her expression, wondering where this persistence is coming from. to some degree, he knows because he caught her nervousness earlier in the break room and clearly, there’s a reason for it. “yeah, that’s all. we had one drink, i gave her the rundown on all the changes within Intelligence and she told me a bit about her new job.”

“that's it?” hailey asks with hopeful eyes.

jay mirrors her expression but with confused eyes. “that's it.”

hailey visibly deflates and she takes another swig of her beer with elated ease. her actions cause a smirk to appear on jay's face, as he leans his body forward. “hailey,” she hums in response, “is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

the ease that hailey was feeling for two seconds is suddenly gone and replaced with stone cold anxiety.

“because earlier today, you were chatting my ear off about erin-related topics and you were clearly nervous. now that i’m telling you absolutely nothing happened, you’re looking very relieved. what am i missing?”

jay's eyes bore into hers and he can clearly see she’s nervous once again, but she tries to keep her expressions in check. “i'm just glad you’re okay. i didn’t want you to get hurt again.”

jay is 99% sure she’s lying, but it’s a damn good lie.

“and that’s all?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

hailey snaps out of her trance and punches his shoulder; that certainly snaps him out as well as he groans. “i care about you, jay! i’m just looking out.”

he narrows his eyes at her, because she’s good, but she can’t lie to him.

“i know there’s more,” he says simply, standing and grabbing a few bills from his wallet. “and we’ll have that conversation someday.”

he grabs his jacket.

“jay,” hailey breathes and for a moment, she thinks she can do this; it’s time.

but she doesn’t say anything.

he sends her a soft smile. “goodnight, hailey.”

he leans down to press a kiss to her cheek. she inhales sharply.

she watches him walk out the door and can’t find it in herself to chase after him.

she lets him go.

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anna-justice · 4 years

Text

Lost or Found - 7

...

7 - What Hurts the Most ...

Within seconds, a missing persons case turned to homicide, leaving Hailey sitting at her kitchen table in shock. “What?” She stuttered, her aunt and uncle gave her sympathetic looks.

“We wanted you to hear it from us and not the news.” Trudy explained.

“She’s dead?” Hailey wasn’t sure where reality ended and her imagination began. She had been thinking of theories to explain her disappearance for weeks now, who could have done it, whether or not she was in hiding, even thinking that it was maybe her all along. But never during any of it did she think that Erin was actually dead. “How do they know?” Her voice was quiet, she didn’t recognize herself talking.

Randall sighed, “I don’t have all the information, but from what I heard, they said that the body had been decomposing for a while now. The only way they know it’s her is by an already existing fracture in her left wrist and the fact that the bracelet she was wearing said “Erin” on it.”

“We think you should stay home today, there is no telling who will try to talk to you about all of this.” Hailey nodded, her gaze never lifting above her hands. She wracked her brain for any alternate reality, that this was all a set up and Erin was making the biggest show of her life, but all she could find was worry. Jay. She needed to talk to Jay.

She excused herself from the table and mindlessly headed for the stairs. She pressed the contact and then the call button, he answered on the first ring.

“Hi.” She said when she heard the line click.

“Can I come over?” She could hear the pain in his voice.

“Of course. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He hung up without answering and a few minutes later Hailey was answering the front door.

She had never seen him like this. He was swearing sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt, his eyes were bloodshot and Hailey found herself wondering how he got there in one piece. When their gaze met he broke again and Hailey rushed out the door wrapped her arms tightly around him, holding on for dear life.

It was raining, of course it was, the sound of raindrops hitting the awning above them was white noise. Jay had buried his face in her neck, which to all outside parties, looked extremely uncomfortable given the height difference, but Jay was the most relaxed he had been since he heard what had happened.

Hailey eventually convinced him to come inside, earning sad looks from Trudy and Randall as she attempted to get him up the stairs. Unlike Hailey, they had known Jay since he was a little boy and watching him in this much pain along with their niece was heartbreaking.

A little later, Jay sat on the edge of her bed, Erin’s phone in his hands. “She’s dead Hailey.” He said, saying his first words since he arrived. “What is all of this for if she’s dead?”

Hailey took the phone from him gently, placing it on her night stand. She took a seat next to sit, “I honestly have no idea.” Hailey snuck a glance at him, looking for any signs of him falling apart again. “Are you going to be okay while I change my clothes?”

Jay nodded slowly and Hailey jumped up to change, heading into her attached bathroom. She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She couldn’t break down right now, she could do that later, right now he needed her.

When she exited her bathroom in leggings and an oversized shirt, she found Jay sound asleep on top of her comforter. She sighed and grabbed the extra blanket she kept for cold nights, throwing it over him. Suddenly, Erin’s phone buzzed on her nightstand.

Blocked ID: Don’t believe everything you see on TV, real life is a lot more complicated.

Hailey turned the phone all the way off and put it in the drawer. They needed a stalker free day. She cautiously laid down next to Jay, keeping a safe distance and let sleep consume her once again.

…

Adam saw it on the morning news, and as soon as he did he bolted out his front door. He hadn’t heard from Kim yet and he was hoping he could beat the news there. He knocked frantically on the front door, only to be met with Mrs. Burgess’ sad eyes.

She gave Adam a kind smile before nodding towards the stairs, giving him the okay to go find Kim. He could hear her sobs before he even made it to her room. He pushed the door open, “Baby?” Kim was sitting on her floor, back against her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. She didn’t even look up at him. Adam sprang into action, he sat down in front of her, placing his hand over hers. Kim cried harder, she had someone there to rely on.

They stayed there for what seemed like forever, Kim wrapped in Adam’s arms, he even shed a few tears. When she had finally cried herself out, she reluctantly pulled away. “I thought we were going to get her back.”

“I know.” Adam said.

Kim took in a shaky breath. “What do we do?”

Adam was usually the guy with all the answers, but at this moment he had no idea what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort his girlfriend, he didn’t know how to make it better or how to make it hurt less. It wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t the biggest fan of Erin, he thought she was controlling power hungry. Two of the most important people in his life let their entire world revolve around her.

Sure, she had her moments, but the majority of the time she was guilting Jay about something or having Kim tag along on her torch trips. It was like Erin was a bright, massive star that was mistaken for the sun, but it wasn’t. So, instead of getting warmth and life, eventually she left you cold and dead inside.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly.

Somehow, he got her off the floor and onto her bed. “Are we going to be okay?”

Adam wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, that it was all over and they were safe. But he couldn’t, because Erin was dead and whoever killed her was still out there, and they were coming after them next.

…

The next few days were absolute agony. There was a small service, burying a inhabited casket this time. They had all decided to stay home for a few days, none of them were feeling particularly studios. Hailey had reluctantly given Jay the phone back that night, and it had been silent ever since then.

The gang had decided to get together away from the prying eyes of their parents, which is why they found themselves sitting in the middle of an elementary school playground in the middle of the night. And unfortunately, without any alcohol.

It had been a laid back night, there was no talk of any stalkers or murderers, and the only words spoken about Erin were fond memories. “I remember this one time freshman year, it was right after we started dating, she insisted that we go to one of those movies in the park, but it was like November so it was freezing!” Jay explained, a smile gracing everyone’s faces. “My mom drove us because she was afraid of Hank scaring me. And then later we were awkward cuddling watching some stupid movie and me getting cocky, I go in for the kiss and then someone coughs behind us. Of course it’s Hank, and I freeze, but do you know what she does? She kisses me!” They all laugh loudly, “I have never been so scared in my life.”

The harsh reality of the situation sets in too quickly, because she was gone and now, he had been way more terrified than he was that night. “I wish I could’ve gotten to know her longer.” Hailey says, breaking the silence. It was true, she and Erin were not that close, but they never really got the chance to be. This whole situation was really awkward for her, she had known Erin, so she felt the loss, but she wasn’t feeling it like any of them.

“Me too,” Kim said, giving her a kind smile.

The night proved to be too good to be true and not five minutes laters, Erin’s phone buzzed.

Blocked ID: Did you miss me? It’s the mystery’s turn to be a little less mysterious, spill the beans on why you really came here. It’s time to mourn Hailey’s secrets.

Hailey’s eyes went wide. “Hailey, what do they mean?” Kim asked.

Hailey could feel her heart ready to leap out of her chest. This could not be happening, she never wanted any of them to know. “Um,” She stuttered, trying to formulate a lie. But it was pointless, she didn’t have a choice.

“Hailey?” She felt her eyes flood with tears, she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze.

“I-I didn’t want to tell you guys this.” She rushed out, lifting her eyes and letting them shift over the four people in front of her. “Erin was the only one that knew.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. “I didn’t move here for a change of pace.”

Kevin nodded, “I figured you would have left if you could have, after what happened.”

Hailey sighed, she might as well start at the beginning. “My dad is not a good guy and after both of my brothers left he got way worse. He would hit my mom and then he started throwing me around to get a rise out of Andrew, he’s 21 now.” Jay sucked in a breath and Kim covered her mouth with her hand, Adam’s arm tightening around her. “After he left, Nick tried to fill his shoes and protect mom and I guess me, and it worked for a while but…” She swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “He graduated and went off to college and I can’t blame him for wanting to get out of that hell hole. But it was like there was years of pent up aggression because of them and one night my dad just snapped.” She couldn’t hold it back anymore as she relived the worst time of her life. “For months it was just a slap every once and a while or screaming matches, but my dad got really drunk and came home convinced that my mom was cheating on him.” Hailey took a few deep breaths, completely oblivious to Jay’s jaw clenching so hard that it was threatening to break. “I jumped in front of her and he-he put me in the hospital.” She was sobbing, and Kim launched herself out of Adam’s embrace and pulled Hailey into her.

“I’m so sorry Hailey.” She said into her ear as she cried.

Hailey pulled away, suddenly very aware that everyone was staring at her in disbelief. “Uh, after that, my mom sent me here to live with her sister.”

“Did she press charges? Did you talk to the police?” Jay questioned, snapping out of his daze. He was angry, too angry for Hailey’s liking.

Hailey stepped back into Kim. “N-No, she’s still with him.”

“What?” Jay yelled.

Kevin placed a hand on his back, “Jay, man, chill, she’s okay--”

“No!” He spat, shrugging off his arm. “She’s not okay!” He gestured to Hailey, waving his arms mindlessly through the air.

“Jay!” Adam shouted, trying to get his best friend’s attention.

Hailey could feel her breathing speed up, she was panicking and she knew what that meant. “I-I’m sorry, I sh-shouldn’t have, I-I--” She took off running towards where they had parked their cars.

“Hailey!” Kim called after her but she didn’t stop.

It was hard to breathe and it wasn’t from the running. She bent over the hood of Adam’s car, praying to anything to make it all stop. Her lungs burned, her chest hurt and she could barely see through the wall of tears. She wanted to come here and never have to think about that night again, but now the few people that she never wanted to tell, knew. And they were already giving her the sad eyes and the pity looks and she wanted to erase all of it.

A hand touched her shoulder and she shoved it away, screaming as she jumped back. When she recovered enough from the scare to look up she was met with Jay’s glossy eyes. He looked sad, hurt even, she had been afraid of him. She hadn’t flinched or screamed like that in months and his face gave away that he probably knew that. “Hailey, I’m sorry.” He said, his voice breaking off at the end.

Hailey wiped her hands over her eyes and snifiled, trying to get herself together. “Kev, will you take me home please?” She asked, walking past him.

“Hailey.” Jay said again and the pain in his voice felt like a knife to the chest, but she couldn’t face him right now.

She got in Kevin’s car without looking back, knowing that if she looked at him she would fall apart all over again. The ride home was silent and long, the only words they exchanged were a simple “goodnight,” as she got out.

Hailey stood in her bathroom, staring at the shell of a girl looking back at her. She imagined the bruises that once stained her tan skin, the tears began to fall again, but this time she had no one to judge her. She slid down the wall behind her, burying her face in her knees and for the first time since Erin’s funeral, she felt completely alone.

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #burzek au #kevin atwater #erin lindsay #hank voight #trudy platt #randall mcholland #chicago pd #chicago pd au #one chicago

36 notes · View notes

anna-justice · 4 years

Text

Lost or Found - 5

...

5 - Wicked Game

...

The following days after the bonfire, the group didn’t really see much of each other. They were focused on watching out for the people they loved most. Hailey called both of her brothers everyday, Jay never let his mom out of his sight and Kevin spent every waking moment playing with his sister. Adam checked up on Kim multiple times a day, while she let her world revolve around her sister. The rest of summer went by fast in their state of panic, which is how they found themselves all huddled around Jay’s truck.

They all had a false sense of security, they hadn’t gotten any more texts since the last one. Hailey thought that Nadia knew that they knew it was her, so she was laying low, but Jay, he wasn’t entirely convinced. Nadia was the perfect person to throw off the scent. But, they had all decided to have a normal first day of school, for their sanity.

Kim spotted Nadia across the courtyard, seated on a bench surrounded by lots of people. Nadia gave her a small smile and waved, Kim returned the favor. She wasn’t sure how much she believed Hailey’s theory, she was always so nice, she wasn’t capable of kidnapping someone. Kim turned back to her friends, hoping no one noticed their encounter, she was a big fan of “innocent until proven guilty.”

The life was sucked out of them all when Jay pulled Erin’s phone out of his pocket, they had a text. So much for a normal first day of school.

Blocked ID: Round 1, golden boy, time for you to lose a few flakes...tell everyone what really happened before Nadia left, and I mean everyone.

“What do they mean, Jay?” Kim asked. “What happened?”

Jay took a deep breath, the last thing he wanted to do was ruin Nadia’s life, but it came down to her or his mom. His mom wins everytime. He sees her sitting on a bench near the school, unfortunately in the middle of a crowd. He takes a few steps away before Hailey calls him back. “Jay! You don’t have to do this!”

“I can’t risk it, it’s my mom.” He stalks across the pavement towards her. “Hey Nadia.”

“Hi Jay!” She says excitedly, “It’s been a while-”

He cuts her off, “You know Mr. Sampson doesn’t work here anymore, right?”

Nadia’s jaw drops, “I’m not sure why that matters…”

“Yeah you are.” Jay fights the lump in his throat and stands his ground. “He’s the teacher that got fired, for sleeping with you.” Everyone around them gasps, and Nadia looks like she’s been stabbed in the chest.

“What-”

“Erin told me everything. And now everyone else knows too.” He turned on his heel and booked it towards the truck. It went just how he hoped, quick and painful, there was no avoiding the betrayal. The next text was sent before her first tear hit the pavement.

Blocked ID: Bravo, your mommy is safe, for now.

His friends all had the same exact look on their faces, utter shock. Jay grabbed his backpack from the bed and raced towards the school. “Jay,” Hailey sighed. She gave an apologetic look to the 3 stunned people in front of her and then hurried after him.

Hailey knew that he couldn’t escape her, they had first block together. They were the first two people in the classroom , she slid into the seat next to him. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It wasn’t my business to tell.” He responds quietly, the guilt clearly eating him up. Hailey just nodded, knowing he definitely didn’t want to talk about it. She was dealing with her own inner emotions, she realized now that no one's secret was safe, especially her own.

…

Third block rolled around and Hailey strolled into phycology, she looked around for Kevin but instead she found a seating chart taped to the whiteboard. She internally groaned, she was sixteen years old. No one needed to tell her where to sit. Unfortunately, Atwater and Upton were nowhere close to each other in the alphabet, so Hailey found herself all the way across the classroom from her only friend.

She slid in her seat next to a boy with very bright blue eyes. “I’m Kelly,” He said, “Severide, call me Severide.”

She gave him a small smile before introducing herself, “Hailey.”

“Nice to meet you Hailey.” He said, his smile lingering a little too long. Hailey felt a slight blush reach her cheeks and turned to face the front of the room.

As soon as the bell rang a voice came over the intercom. “Jay Halstead, report to the principal’s office. Jay Halstead, report to the principal’s office.”

Hailey put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. That definitely wasn’t good.

…

Jay found himself sitting across from Mr. Kelton, their principal, not five minutes later. He had a very unpleasant look on his face and Jay was prepared for the lecture of the century, which he deserved. “Well, Mr. Halstead, I never thought we would be in this position.” Jay didn’t either, he was always a good kid, he didn’t belong there. “The allegations you made against Ms. Decotis were very serious, would you care to explain yourself?”

Jay took a deep breath, he couldn’t exactly tell him that he was forced to expose Nadia by a crazy stalker/possible murderer who kidnapped his girlfriend and, might possibly be Nadia. “Sir, I want to sincerely apologize for my actions this morning. It’s been a rough few months, with the Erin stuff, and seeing Nadia was really hard for some reason. She wasn’t here to bear the pain with the rest of us and I just got so mad that she showed up now.” Jay gave him a weak smile, and continued to talk out of his ass. “Erin told that Mr. Sampson and Nadia had an affair, I don’t even know if it’s true.”

Mr. Kelton nodded, “Son, I understand that the past few months have been difficult, but we do not tolerate harassment in this building. You need to formally apologize to Ms. Decotis and I expect to see you in detention the next three Thursdays.”

Jay let out a breath of relief, he was expecting much worse. “Of course and it won’t happen again.”

“I will hold you to that young man, get back to class.” Jay hurried out of the office. He was mortified and felt terrible. There was no way that Nadia was threatening them, he refused to believe it. The rumor he started could ruin everything for her, no one would risk that.

…

Hailey found herself seated at a lab table with Adam and Kim AP Chem, her last class of the day. The teacher was going on and on about lab safety and she was pretty sure that Adam was currently looking up the ingredients of a molotov cocktail instead of taking notes.

She still hadn’t talked to Jay about his visit to Kelton’s office and it was eating her up inside. He was definitely in trouble, there was only so much having an assumed dead girlfriend could get you out of.

Hailey looked up from doodling on her paper to see a red headed boy staring at her, she avoided his gaze by whispering to Kim about it. Kim chuckled under her breath. “That’s Kevin Hadley, he's harmless.”

Adam looked up like he missed something, but Kim shrugged him off. It was obvious that he wasn’t paying attention to anything other than his stupid secret prank plan.

The class dragged on for forever, and when the final bell rang, Hailey felt like crying. She bid goodbye to Adam and Kim and leaned against a set of lockers to text Jay, since he was her ride home. Suddenly a figure appeared in front of her. “I’m Kevin.” He said, leaning against the metal next to her.

“Hi.” She said briefly, returning her focus to her phone.

“Listen,” He said, taking a step toward her. “My buddy is throwing a party tonight, kind of a back to school bash if you will, you should come with me.”

Hailey’s head popped up, for someone so harmless, he was very forward. “Sorry, I have plans.” She said and made a move to walk past him, but he stepped in front of her.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Hailey stepped backward, feeling very uncomfortable with how close he was to her.

Before she could respond she heard a voice come from behind her. “I’m pretty sure she already said no.” She turned around to find Severide standing his ground behind her.

“Mind your own business man, we were just talking.” Kevin spit back, taking another step forward. Hailey quickly removed herself from in between the two boys and stood behind her new friend.

Severide stepped up to face him, “Walk away Hadley.” Hailey froze, she would recognize that low growl anywhere. He turned to look at her, “You good Hailey?” He asked and Hailey feigned confidence, pretending she wasn’t completely terrified. The person that strangled her was no longer a figure in the dark, it was Kelly Severide.

…

A/N: I’m thinking there will be some confusion about their school day, I’m trying to make this story as realistic to real high school as possible (since it hasn’t been that long since I was there myself), so that includes homework, not skipping school and definitely no free periods. That being said, I’ve structured their day the same way mine was. Four classes a day, every other day, eight in total. So sometimes they will have one class in the morning and in another chapter it could be a different one, it’s called an A-B Schedule. Anyway, just wanted to clear that up! Thanks for reading!

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #burzek au #kevin atwater #erin lindsay #nadia decotis #kelly severide #chicago pd #chicago pd au #one chicago #chicago fire

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