#those hoops only to be confronted with a severe phobia lol
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Sitting down to floss and brush my teeth has been lifechanging. On a completely unrelated note how the fuck am I supposed to have this skeleton for several more decades. It’s all over for me lads 😔
#knees hurt. hips hurt. back hurts. wrists hurt. swag#it’s not this bad most of the time but by the end of the day it’s like auuuugh#it really is too bad that I’ve got extreme doctor fears because of the IssuesTM!#and oh yeah I don’t have health insurance LOL…#which I am using as a convenient excuse to avoid going to the doctors LOL#i have some doctor ~traumas~ I think LOL!#im working up to it. it’s glacial. sometime this year maybe?#I went twice as an adult and both times were for health forms for college enrollment#I’ve been to the ER and an urgent care once or twice though so clearly I’m FINE…#this is BAD do not be like me#but it’s only become clear to me in the past year or two that the incidents in my childhood reeeeally affected me#and to have US healthcare be such a profoundly difficult and punitive process basically means I am just never going to like jump through#those hoops only to be confronted with a severe phobia lol#im not saying that’s a reasonable train of thought but it’s more that that’s my subconscious reasoning#but it is a 2024 goal to get seen by a doctor#but the other thing is that it’s so fucking clear to me that they will do NOTHING for either PMDD or my joint pain which are my chief#complaints at the moment#but like i should probably be like getting routine panels and Pap smears :-(#everything’s SO EXPENSIVE…#They’ll be like give me your blood. ok all normal everything is healthy. ok that’ll be literally $200#:-(#ugh I’m upsetting myself just thinking about doctors. ok Goodnight#(with full intention to keep scrolling)
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