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#this took me so long for no reason shdjsjd
letoscrawls · 7 months
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It's that time of the year! The September Relona issue of Vogue Coruscant is here! Grab it before it's sold out!!!
On the cover: the dancers of the Max Rebo Band wearing Moschino FW18 💜
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.....'#orange juice'?
oh!! i didn’t really think anyone would pay attention to that shdjsjd
i can’t cut on mobile for some reason, but the tl;dr of it is that a glass of orange juice saved my life once, and it’s nice to remember that reasons to go on living can be pretty small!
sui/cide cw for the long version:
essentially, like ten years ago — and holy shit, i keep forgetting it’s been that long — i lived in Pennsylvania. it was my first time living in another state, and i got there by being kicked out of the place i was staying for some long and complicated reasons that mostly boiled down to homophobia. i packed up my life in a duffel bag and within the week i hopped a bus to move in with a kind stranger who was able to secure an apartment for us and who worked with me while i found a job. fast forward, that person moved out, partner moved in. both on our own really for the first, desperately overworked, underpaid, unmedicated, and working opposite shifts from each other that were destroying our mental health. literally, this job would later drive my partner into a full on mental break that had him bedbound for weeks. it drove me to some pretty extreme lows and suicidal urges, which like, at the time, wasn’t anything super new to me, but this was worse than i was used to. one morning, after i had gotten off work — i worked the night shift — and my partner had gone in for the morning shift, i was sitting by myself, and i remember kind of numbly getting up and going and fetching my partner’s heart pills. i had been warned on multiple occasions to be very careful not to take these pills on accident looking for something else, because they would Literally Kill Me.
my partner texted me about coming over to buy some orange juice — we worked at a gas station — so he could have some before i took the rest home. and i figured, hey, orange juice is as good of a chaser for pills as anything else. so i went over to the store, picked out a half gallon of orange juice, and we had a cup of it together, and you know what? it was just…really good orange juice. it was a cold morning, sun on the snow, and i carried what was left of the orange juice home, sat down with it, poured myself another cup. between what we drank while i was at the store and what i drank sitting there, we drank the whole half gallon, and i remember sitting there, staring at the bottom of my cup, and thinking that it was really good orange juice, and that…it would be such a shame to never have orange juice that good again.
so i put the pills away, and i went to bed. and i think about that cup of orange juice a lot, is all, and how it was such a little thing, but that it was really all i needed at that moment. just a good cup of orange juice, and something to keep me going one more day. and one more after that. and another after that. sometimes it really can be something just that small, and that’s okay.
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letoscrawls · 7 months
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It's that time of the year! The September Relona issue of Vogue Coruscant is here! Grab it before it's sold out!!!
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