#this post means everything to me rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bred-is-a-dumb-name · 9 months

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Haha what if,,what if I made a future AU where they were all counselors at camp Campbell,,,

(I say "what if" like i haven't already been developing one in my brain)

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simgerale · 1 month

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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

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mainapnifavouritehoon · 10 months

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hi guys i-

#Hey so i wanted to talk about this really bad this has been bothering me for quite some time #i have been busy a lot these days and i dont get time at all to do anything but i can see myself wasting my time just scrolling #I have school and then coaching and then ofc i have to study on my own for which i barely take out time as im highly careless #My last 2 exams went absolute shit and that fucking scares me because i'll be having my JEE soon #Mummy has been telling me to stay away from my phone and ik she trusts me but she but she deserves a daughter that studies ig?#And now i kind of consider that as an option because this phone is very very distracting #I have been thinking about deactivating but i realized it would mean i would lose all my precious posts and interactions #So i wont be deleting this blog as i am too attached (i will be coming back istg)#I will be taking a break and ig thats what yall call a hiatus #I will be giving away my phone to my parents (trust me i have to)#Ik this will be hard for me to just leave all of a sudden so i'll slowly start vanishing if that makes sense?#This message also doesnt mean that i will be shutting down my phone rn at this moment and that this is goodbye #This is just to prepare the people that i love and who love me that i will be highly inactive and not come online for maybe months #This is not an impulsive decisions i have really thought through this #Also just to tell you again MAIN ABHI GAYAB NAHI HONE WAALI BUT THODE TIME MEIN I WILL GO ON A BREAK THIS IS JUST A PRE HIATUS MESSAGE #Also i hope you guys will still love me and remember me once i come back #Because coming months are going to be hard for me #I hope you understand and ily guys okay?#(Oh god why am i so dramatic about everything) xoxo

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prolibytherium · 27 days

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I don't care about ""romance"" or """hurt and comfort""" where issues are (temporarily or otherwise) resolved via effusive declarations of love and devotion and praise I want to read more fucked up people fumbling their way through their best approximations of intimacy and human vulnerability like "What are you doing. Oh ew wtf are you crying? Are you good? Don't get snot on my shirt" etc but no one understand smy visions

#I have to do everything MYSELF #Genuinely I love writing about interpersonal dynamics between low empathy people with weird attachment styles it is probably my #key historical trend in OC dynamics and etc #Both with platonic friendship and/or romance it's very endearing to me. Love people who sincerely care about each #other and do it in ways that suck so fucking bad #The ways having low empathy and/or disordered personality can affect relationships when you genuinely care about someone but are #woefully unequipped to deal w/ some emotions and etc can be very interesting and something I wish I saw in Media more often #but unfortunately it's already hard enough to get people past step fucking one of 'low empathy and/or cluster b does not mean evil abuser'#Am not expressing myself very well rn I have a really bad headache and yet I hit the post button

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mysicklove · 3 months

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sigh, me and my big mouth got me in trouble again.

#🔪 - mello talks too much #cw discourse #i’m in the call out post BUT i commented as a joke not knowing anything about the situation #i thought it was another anti-aging up call out post that i have experienced. so i commented ”DRAMA?” as a silly joke thinking it #was something completely different....they were not talking about the anti-aging up call out posts....#i just followed that account like less than a week ago #I DONT KNOW THESE PPL 😔😔😔😔😔😔#i always like remain neutral on situations (hold opinions to myself) but bc i comment on everything i see i got involved on accident #i’m just going to block all of the accounts that are associated with the post bc i cant mentally deal with this rn LOL #or should i apologize? but i also feel like i didn’t do anything wrong #except for not being aware of my surroundings #between the minors contacting me and now me getting myself dragged into a callout post (OF PPL I DONT EVEN KNOW) tumblr is roasting me toda #everyone needs to gag me and tie my hands behind my back so i don’t accidentally enter things that i don’t mean to enter #if i need to do an apology post just let me know

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heartslobbf · 2 years

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the thing about rgu episodes 35&6 is its just like...... everything is veering towards a car crash but more than usual. and everyone is more aware of how car-crashy things are going to get than usual, but its like. no one is like ‘hey what if we didn’t get into a car crash though’, or if they are, they’re expressing that sentiment in the worst way possible (shoutout anthy and touga). you have so many tiny and horrendously fucked up moments in those episodes like juri saying utena ‘looks like a girl now’ and making miki consider whether or not that’s a ‘good’ thing, or utena falling asleep at the table with her earrings as anthy just Watches, or the scene where touga holds a carrot in various initially amusing and then promptly emotionally devastating ways as both he and the audience make a series of crushing realisations neither of us are totally comfortable accepting

its like. throughout all of this acknowledgement of ‘hm. this is bad’ everyone is filled with inaction. we are all trapped in our coffins!!! people are prosing but that’s about it. all of the student council know who end of the world is, and they don’t tell utena. im not blaming them for this because its masterful, compelling writing that serves to elevate the show and its themes, but i am pointing it out because what’s endlessly relevant in utena analysis is recognising when characters make choices that ohtori frames as a natural progression or event that is immutable. anthy and touga voice wow i cant believe at least one person has to die at the end of this duelling game, which we like have to do btw. yeah. what do you mean this is all constructed and therefore can be dismantled. oh my god im going to kill you what the fuck. i dont want to kill you. i dont know how else to get you out of this situation. guess ill try and remove you from the system, thereby proving it is a structure that can be left behind and undermining my fragile worldview ive believed to have kept me ‘safe’ all this time. why are you guys talking about coffins so much omgggggggg shut up shut up shut up

#one day ill write my essay about anthy and touga and their dynamics w nanami and utena. bc it makes me BONKERS #i mean generally one day ill write my anthy and touga essay bc its like. god im so autistic #theres a reason my pinned post is anthy's 'betrayal' theres a reason i have probably watched eps 35&6 the most #theres a reason im obsessed w aou's symbolism ESPECIALLY in the movie manga actually #anyway normal normal normal (lie) (am thinking about birdcages and eggs)#remember in episode 11 when touga was like hey anthy one day im going to own the key to this birdcage that youre in. and its like #touga. touga youre in the birdcage too rn #touga kiryuu will be like if a chick cannot hatch from its egg's shell it will die without being born 10 minutes later me and the coffin <3 #and then u have anthy loml anthy the character of all time..... cannae even make little jokes about her arc bc its like. Oh #have u ever killed something good for u just to be certain ure the reason u can no longer have it..........#have you ever died and been dying over and over again have you ever been so numb and yet so angry. so bitter. so resenting.#everything the same over and over and over again. and then something changes a bit. wahhhhhhhhhhhh #i PROMMY i am normal about anthy himemiya (i cant think about her without crying)#revolutionary girl utena #rgu #shut up daisy

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abbey-abdominal · 8 days

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Someone on Reddit once said something about Ragatha being like the twist villain of TADC and after this last teaser pic from Glitch I honestly don’t trust her anymore 😭😭😭😭😭 why is girl smiling as if everything is okay… she’s knows something that the others don’t I’m calling it now

#tadc posting #rambling about fandoms #ragatha is really SUS RN #LIKE GIRL? GLITCH? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN BOOKIE?#me looking at Ragatha enjoying herself in the grass: she thinks everything is a fucking game….

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corfisers · 5 months

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i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag

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brittlebutch · 6 months

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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

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becauseplot · 2 months

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what if i wrote wildly ooc cell/roommates au comfort fic. what then.

#i mean it’s in-character in my heart #i just still need to watch more felpsvods to like you know. properly understand his characterization. bc im winging it.#anyway i am just having a night ykno #and i think the canon non-compliant world’s most unconventional enemies-to-besties duo would help #but first i gotta actually finish studying 0(-(#man mini side tangent but oh my god the pressure i feel to make everything I write ‘in character’ is so overwhelming holyshitttttt #‘you have to be true to the characters else you’re Missing The Point’ vs. ‘it’s fanfic it’s not that serious just have fun!’#chrissttttttt #ugh don’t get me started on this i rly gotta get some work done #this is already a borderline vent post we can’t get into that rn lmao

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leopardom · 6 months

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posting my gifs these days and seeing how they look and how they’re doing statistically-wise makes me think about ✨that anon✨ from a few days ago who said that my content doesn’t deserve any engagement

what if they were right in the end?

#to say that i don’t feel insecure about anything i post from Monday on would be an understatement #it’s not like i get zero notes and don’t get me wrong i’m glad people seem to still like my gifs #it’s just. something feels off and idk what it is #maybe i’m posting a bit too much and i indeed show up a lot in the jo hashtag and that’s annoying? idk #i mean i do need the validation from time to time maybe that’s why i post too much. there’s nothing else i can provide anyway #but yeah something feels very off and i’m super insecure about everything #this is probably my brain fucking with me big time rn but yeah the insecurity is here for good #anyway i’m still trying the “fake it til you make it” thing so i’ll keep posting gifs etc even if i feel weird about them #this is emma speaking

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lavenoon · 8 months

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You know your tag "post let luce", well i only just now realized its supposed to be a play on words for "Post Let Loose".

This entire time my brain thought it was supposed to be a play on "Post Lettuce". I have spent literal months trying to figure out what your thoughts behind that decision were.

I feel so stupid that it took me this long to realize my mistake

Hey, yes, hi? I have been laughing at this misunderstanding since this morning and I want you to know I absolutely do not blame you it's just. really funny. I don't even like lettuce. I realize the words are similar but absolutely nonsensical - I understand why you'd struggle to figure out my hypothetical intentions behind that decision hfjdk

Sometimes stuff like this happens, and we get stuck in assumptions that make things more complicated, that's just how it goes! Hope you can laugh at it too some day, I promise you you're not stupid, and it's not a big deal! <3

#answer let luce #anonymous #who knows #maybe one day i will post lettuce #getting this ask actually made me go “ik i was gonna wait with answering stuff till im back home but it's too funny”#maybe. i have another ask in my inbox. ill do that tomorrow #rn my everything is jelly n i wanna embrace the sea slug existence for a bit #just. post lettuce. its a command now #let the lettuce posting commence #lettuce let luce #IM SORRY IF THIS IS MEAN I DONT MEAN TO MAKE FUN OF YOU IM JUST REALLY GIGGLING LIKE STUPID #but yeye promise ur good brains are weird sometimes

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steelycunt · 5 months

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FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!

#FINALLY. have not been able to relax for like a month that’s the thing about the due dates being so far apart it’s great because you’ve got #more time but it also means everything just. lasts longer. anyway! done now. this one perhaps not my best work but it was harder than i #expected…my us government one will be rough but what else do you expect from 1500 words..and then my theory essay..my best hope for a good #grade perhaps…but we’ll see. the next lot aren’t due until january but im gonna start thinking about them now so im less busy over christmas #insane that that’s not too terrible a thought. uni is crazy when you actually enjoy your degree. anyway! for now i am going to enjoy the #rest of my weekend at home n me and my mum are going out tomorrow n im gonna buy some books with the voucher i haven’t spent since my #birthday in february and ill finally have time to finish the book im reading rn AND to do some writing..start chapter 2 : ^ )#woohoo!! aware no one gaf about any of this but i am first and foremost always the audience for my own posts so. this one’s for me..#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again

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hella1975 · 11 months

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.

#be deadly fucking serious rn PLEASE whatttt. that post that's like 'parents will say something that shapes you as a person #but for them it was just another tuesday' like WHAT JUST HAPPENED #basically if you've been following me since i went to uni then you know first year was an... interesting time for me and my mum #we rowed all the time and it's the most unsettled our relationship has ever been and i do truly believe it was just some unfortunate #external factors like me leaving home would rock the boat enough it was always gonna rejig our dynamic #but on top of that i was her LAST child to fly the nest which she hated AND my sister was in germany being insanely dependent on my mum #so i got sidelined a lot which was shitty at the time but i get it now like im still a bit bitter bc being the eldest everything my sister #does is an exciting first and our age gap means typically our academic big moments tend to cross over #so my a-levels happened during her first year of uni so for me a-levels were the biggest thing ever but ofc her thing was bigger #but when she did HER a-levels it was the biggest thing ever and i was /just/ doing gcses etc and germany was the same #like it was JUST my first year of uni bc meanwhile my sister was living alone in a foreign country. so that sucks and my mum was #defo focused on my sister and i wasn't in a position to be like 'hey i know it doesn't seem like it now you've got one kid through it #but going to university and settling in for the first year is still an insanely stressful and lonely time so please pay attention to me'#and all in all me and my mum just STRUGGLED we fought A LOT and not petty rows either they were really emotionally heavy all the time #and basically what's caused this post is that she said about america 'it'll be the longest ive been away from you'#and i know what she meant like a month out of england is the biggest thing ive ever done and im not even in EUROPE so this is huge #but i kinda said like 'im pretty sure i went a month in first year a couple times without visiting?' AND I MEANT IT CASUAL #BC I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S TRUE LIKE I WASNT EAGER TO GO HOME I WENT SOME WEEKS NOT EVEN RINGING #which REALLY shows how strained it must have been at the time. and she responds with confusion so i pointed out that first year #wasn't a great time for us and again still being casual bc it's such a fundamental truth for me that first year was Bad for me and mum #and she just blinks at me like 'what are you talking about' what. WHAT. like i knew she wasn't paying much attention to me then #but it made me MISERABLE for an entire YEAR like boom can testify bc they had to deal with my bs over the phone the entire time #and my mum just. didn't even notice that we weren't doing well. what. what the fuck even..... baffled by this actually #like i am REELING from this i feel like she just tipped the fundamentals of my world with that #hella goes home

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good-beans · 6 months

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Ahh thank you @fayesdiary for tagging me!! It's time for WIP Wednesday on a Sunday 😎

Here's a little peek at the opening section of a normal au Fuuta-Yuno piece, mostly shown through text messages. I was sad that Yuno has to hide so much of her life/job/self from her friends, so I'm playing around with her gradually being able to open up to Fuuta about things (and him getting a true friend in the process)

Forgive me for not tagging anyone but it's late and I'm eepy but PLEASE I wanna see what people are working on so if you see this come and share some of your wip!!

(I may end up using one of those text screenshot generators, but also maybe not because I have some action sandwiched throughout. It's color coded here, but I don't think the final version will be.)

Hi Fuuta! Sorry to bother you so late, but you took calc last year, right? Can you take a look at this question and tell me if I’m close? [image attached]

Fuuta’s eyes flicked away from his game.

you really think i would know

i barely passed

Eh, figured I’d give it a shot…

It’s due tomorrow and you’re the only one I know up at this ungodly hour 😔

yeah, why are you doing worksheets now?

its past your bedtime

Every time you say it it’s SO funny!! 🙄

You just wait until next year

Yuno couldn’t help but glance at her little desk countdown to graduation. Still too far off to get too excited. Her fingers kept tapping.

I was working. I forgot I never finished this earlier lol

this late? they’ve got laws against that you know

oh wait

sorry

Why are you sorry? Thanks for looking out for me though 😘

Fuuta typed in a message. He deleted it. He typed another. Deleted it.

ill text mikoto. hes up sometimes and probably did better in calc

Aww wait, are you embarrassed? I didn’t know you were such a prude ~

im not fucking embarrassed

i didnt think you wanted to talk about it

whatever

Awww you really are flustered! Well, if you ever want I can always come back with some tips for you. For a price, of course, but I’m willing to settle for something easy. That karaoke night coming up, maybe 👀

tips?

God knows you need them, I’ve seen the way you try and talk to Rumerie

excuse me??? like i need your help

Oh riiight, all that action you’re getting at university

You let me know when you spend the night with someone who’s not 2d

She smiled wickedly to herself, picturing the way he’d be fuming.

fuck off i dont play nasty games like that

Yeah, you only play really, really cool games, right? What are you playing right now?

What’s so cool that you’re sacrificing your sleep and well being and school career for?

Fuuta glanced at his game screen. He grimaced.

shut up

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #yuno kashiki #thank you pal!!#i have a bunch of pieces of things but this is the most polished at the moment #i always want to do text message fic but i never end up actually doing it #so this has been fun!#its in my long queue rn but i saw a post of yuno/fuuta art that made me drop everything and start this #its him comforting her in her mv lingerie and i realized she never had any friends to take care of her when she had a weird job or client :#the fic is going to go through a bit of their convos beforehand but i immediately wrote this and that last scene of comfort #the last scene is definitely more action than texts but i think it works #and i mean it! please share your stuff i wanna know :3 #rose writes!

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