The Great Cookie Exchange 2k17: White Chocolate Cheesecake Cupcakes!

(lightly sweet with a delightful burst of tart, surprisingly easy to make! feat. Oreo cookie crust, stabilized whipped cream frosting, sugared cranberries, and white chocolate Christmas trees covered in edible glitter!)

Thanks to @chocolatequeennk for coming up with the cookie exchange idea, and thanks to @goingtothetardis for convincing me I could try my hand at cheesecake and it wouldn’t be a horrible disaster! :D To be fair, though, one of my favorite things about this dessert is that, while it is time-consuming and dirties a fair number of dishes, the steps themselves are actually pretty darn easy! I cobbled the dessert together out of several recipes I found online (sources below) for the sake of bringing something a lil different to my office holiday party yesterday; they were super effing popular and I received a truckload of nice comments. So if you a) are picky about sweets b) like cheesecake c) are interested in making seasonal/holiday treats that are pleasantly nondenominational (not into Christmas? Then those are wintery holiday trees!) and d) want for people to heap compliments on you, make this recipe, my buddies, my guys. <3 <3 <3

I would highly recommend making them with a friend, mostly because baking is so much fun when you do it with company. :D

The Recipes (AKA What is, How do???)

I would recommend starting with the sugared cranberries (source recipe here), and I would recommend making them a day in advance. Here’s my altered version of the aforementioned recipe:

4.5 cups sugar (3 for simple syrup, 1.5 for coating (or more if needed)) 1.5 cups water 2 cups fresh cranberries

First, make a simple syrup by stirring together your water and 4 c. of sugar in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat until the sugar dissolves and the water comes to a boil. Keep stirring and boiling until the mixture goes from opaque to transparent and has a slightly thicker texture when you lift your spoon out--like a thin syrup.

Remove the syrup from heat and let cool for a few minutes, then pour over cranberries in a bowl. The cranberries need to sit in the simple syrup for a minimum of 4 hours, but I would recommend letting them sit overnight, stirring occasionally.

4 hours later/the next day, drain the cranberries from the simple syrup, pour your remaining 1.5 c of sugar into a bowl, and coat the berries in handful-sized batches, rolling them around in the sugar-bowl with a fork until they’re evenly coated all over. (You might end up needing more sugar, since it starts to stick together and refuses to get coat-y after a while.) Place sugared cranberries on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or wax paper and let dry for at least two more hours, and, voila! You’ve got lovely sugared cranberries!

Next up--or perhaps more accurately, simultaneously up--is the white chocolate Christmas trees, if such a thing interests you! The cupcakes are just as good with or without, tbh. I would recommend using Ghirardelli’s white chocolate melting wafers--they melt more evenly than white chocolate chips (significantly less risk of scalding), they hold their shape better than the chips, and they’re just so much effing tastier than any other candymaking chocolate I’ve had. The total amount you need depends on how many trees you want to make, but I can tell you off the bat that a 10 oz pkg of the Ghirardelli will make about 20-24 of the trees I made. (Srsly the Ghir’s are just so yummy, especially tasty while melted--dip some pretzels in the leftover melty goo, nom nom nom such a good treat!!!)

You can use pretty much any Christmas tree candymaking mold of your choice; I used this one. I also recommend using disco dust if you’re in an edible glitter mood. (I would ONLY buy either the original Disco Dust or the Sunflower Sugar Art variety--others will claim to be the same but many of them are actually regular craft glitter repackaged as “technically nontoxic glitter” for cake-PROP-decorating purposes. Boo!!!)

While your simple syrup for the cranberries is cooling, sprinkle a little bit of your edible glitter in the cavities of your candymaking molds by dipping a (clean, dry) index fingertip in the glitter and rubbing your thumb and forefinger together over the cavities so the glitter falls in. (You’re gonna get glitter everywhere no matter what; I’m sorry in advance.) Melt a handful or two of your white chocolate wafers in a microwave-safe bowl, in intervals of 30 seconds at 50% power, stirring between each session. When the white chocolate is smooth and liquidy enough to pour (no more chunks!!!), pour it into the molds, doing your best not to overflow. When each cavity is filled, gently tap and wriggle the mold--this distributes the chocolate more smoothly and also helps to eliminate pesky air bubbles. Stick the mold in the freezer for 15-20 minutes. When removing, check to make sure the chocolate is pulling away from the edges of the mold--that means it’s ready to come out. Turn the mold over on a plate or piece of wax paper and gently shake and tap the mold until the chocolate falls out.

If your chocolate overflowed out of the mold, it might be a little more difficult to get out, and you might have to trim it with a sharp knife afterward. Just use extreme caution, puhleeeeze

And now it’s time for the big to-do: the cheesecake cupcakes! You can also make these a day or two in advance, if you like--they refrigerate quite well! The recipe makes about 16 regular-size cupcakes, or at least that’s how it turned out for me.

The original recipe is here (just disregard the section on the raspberry stuff); my personal tips follow:

- DON’T OVERBEAT THE CUSTARD. Only beat it until it is just blended. Aka, use a hand- or stand-mixer, but with extreme prejudice. Over-beating makes the custard more likely to crack in the oven. Not that that happened to me, or anything... 0:) (Don’t worry tho, even if they do crack, you can just hide it with delicious toppings! They’re still tasty!)

- I would almost always recommend buying store brand cream cheese over Philadelphia. The flavor is richer and they’re easier to soften.

- A quick and fairly easy way to soften the cream cheese? Stick the still-wrapped blocks in your bra/cami/back pants pockets while you’re working on the other stuff. #noshame

- When crushing the Oreos, definitely remove the filling, like the recipe suggests. You might be tempted not to, for the sake of saving time, but since I tried it both ways, I now know that the filling makes the Oreos more difficult to crush, since it makes the cookie bits stick together more. Additionally, if you don’t have a food processor and need to crush the cookies the manual way (it meeeeee), put the cookies in a baggie (be sure to squish out all the air before sealing!!!), lay them down on an old towel, place another towel over the baggie, and go to town with a rolling pin. The towels protect your surfaces from getting bashed and make the sounds a lot easier on the ear!

- If you’re making regular-sized cupcakes (as opposed to minis, like the recipe indicates), you’ll want to scoop a tablespoon of cookie crust into each cup and pack it down; on top of that, spoon custard into each cup until it’s about 3/4 full. (The cakes will puff up while baking and then sink after, or at least, that’s my experience.) I had the best luck baking the cupcakes on a lower shelf in the oven, at 325 degrees, for 15-20 minutes. They’re done when the outsides are set and the middle is still a little jiggly, or when you touch them and the batter no longer sticks to your fingers (they’ll be just a lil springy to the touch).

I don’t have pictures of the baked cupcakes, for reasons...? But hey this is what the batter looks like! :’D

While the cupcakes are cooling, you can make the stabilized whipped cream!

It so tastyyyyyyyyyyy, sigh. And unlike regular whipped cream, which collapses on itself like a delicious but dying star after a couple hours, this shit holds the fuck up! Like seriously I made it days ago and it’s still truckin’. Find the recipe here!

Once everything is set/cooled/etc. (i.e., the candy is out of the molds, the cranberries have formed a semihard sugar shell, and the cupcakes are cool to the touch), it’s time to start pipin’ and decoratin’! I used a small open-star frosting tip to pipe the whipped cream onto my cupcakes, making a small swirly circle in the middle and then little dollop stars around the outside.

Then I dropped several sugared cranberries on some of the cupcakes (in the center, atop the nice lower swirly bit), and for others, I nestled a tree right smack dab in the middle, using cranberries in the front and back to prop it up (and add that delightful little burst of color/flavor!).

Anyway, that’s about it! Just make sure you have a tall enough container to store the tree-cupcakes in, keep them all refrigerated while you’re not eating, and voila! Delicious fancy fairly-easy-if-a-bit-time-consuming cheesecake cupcakes are yours to share as you please! Or don’t. They are shockingly easy to eat.

Thanks and have a happy holiday!!! <3 <3 <3

the best souvenirs to bring home

among the online travel community, souvenirs are sort of a divisive issue. there are those who would never even touch a souvenir and feel like they are a waste of money and not an accurate representation of a place, and then there are the people who can't stay away from those touristy shops with knick-knacks and bags that say the city's name all over it (made in china).

while i don’t like knick-knacks (clutter!!!), i do love a little bit of shopping on a trip and almost always regret not picking up something. over the years, i have developed and refined my stance of souvenirs -- often there’s not a whole load of room in my bag and normally, i’m on a smaller budget when i travel. but! that does not stop me from bringing home really meaningful souvenirs that i can use in my everyday life back home. that's the key thing you want to aim for -- useful. not anything to sit on a shelf.

so here's my tested guide of the best things to take home from any place -- for yourself or even as a gift. above all, when you don't know what to buy, always lean towards the edible.

1. woolen goods, especially socks!

in many places, especially in northern europe, this is really a get! socks are an affordable way to get yourself a little something (#selfcare), keep yourself warm in the colder months, support the local economy, and enjoy a traditional product. (the more wool in my winter wardrobe, the better)

above, some spoils from a past iceland trip!

2. tea or coffee.

when i say i am a tea person, i'm not even fooling around. i take home boxes when i go abroad at all, no matter where that is. i love picking up local icelandic herb tea or pukka herbs tea when i go almost anywhere, or whatever the local favorite tea purveyor is. conversely, my friend ginny is a complete coffee nerd, taking home sometimes 6 bags from a trip!

hot tip for taking tea home: break down the box the tea comes in so it packs flat and put all the tea bags in a ziploc bag - you can re-form the box when you get home (if you want it). another space saver is purchasing only loose-leaf tea which ends up lasting much longer than bagged tea.

3. sweets, snacks, jarred food products or liquor

once again, you cannot go wrong with the edible! when you visit a place and try loads of snacks and sweets, why not take home your favorites? last time in iceland i did not buy enough tritlar when i left and i had regretted that ever since. this time i tried a new sweet (lindar buff, it’s no tritlar, though).

 i’ve also taken home local honey from switzerland, lebkuchen around the holidays from germany or austria, and rhubarb jam from iceland. even if i can get jam and honey here, it sort of gives me warm fuzzies thinking about where it came from and keeping a connection with that place.

please note that one is not permitted to take meat products out of the european union, even in your checked baggage. (eat your black forest ham while you can!) wine or liquor is a great souvenir (also makes a great gift), but pay attention as there are maximum amounts permitted. i wouldn’t recommend flying with beer in your checked bag, but i’ve seen the desperate do it -- more often, people purchase beer at the duty-free at the airport and get to bring it with them in the cabin.

4. prints or art

when you can't get enough of your favorite place, put it somehow on your wall! we still have a print that i've been waiting for frame for want of a good framing shop in budejovice (local friends: advice accepted regarding a frame shop!).

5. a cloth shopping bag

this, i tell ya, is the cheapest yet most useful and meaningful souvenir for the money you can take home. i doubt it costs more than a dollar, but every time you go to the grocery store in your normal daily routine at home, you'll remember all those stops are your favorite supermarket that you made! it's always a fun conversation piece.

6. clothes

i'm not just talking about raiding the high street primark (which, cool, if you want to, i won't judge) but picking a unique piece from a place to take with you. perhaps, a locally-designed rain jacket, a silk nepalese skirt, a dress from your favorite clothing store that you could otherwise never afford the shipping for but lust after for months? (just me?) this is the time. perhaps the most expensive of all my souvenir options, but if you save and budget for it, it will become an unforgettable souvenir you may have for even decades.

7. a book or an album

so many books and albums, too little money! but if you see something that strikes your fancy while you're away, don't wait -- you'll regret that more! i don't actually buy too many books even though i love them, but recently i picked up an english/german duo reader book as i know they're harder to find here in the czech republic and i regret it exactly zero percent. while in iceland, i wished i had picked up JFDR’s new album which... get this... was sold in an om-nom matcha flavored chocolate bar. now that is a next-level willy wonka situation. nobody regretted picking up a book or an album!

8. spices or salts

i always tell alex we'll go back to budapest when our sachet of amazing smoked paprika runs out. (it looks like that could be within the year, so you know what that means!) i love picking up some local spices or salts (whatever the specialty is) to use in my cooking back home, and it also makes an amazing gift. recently i've picked up some herby salt from iceland (above) which has bits of crow and juniper berries in it. be still my herby heart!

9. yarn

this one is for my knitters out there -- what could be better, especially if you're visiting a country famous somehow for its wool and wool products, than picking up some for your next project? i am such an amateur that i have no idea how many skeins i would need for a certain project, so i personally prefer to have my source near me so i can easily obtain more, but if you already know, there you have it! icelandic wool is famous for its waterproof qualities, making it one of the most prized wools in the world.

(above - my current WIP/yarn stash - unfortunately, i am possibly the slowest knitter ever and need to get a move on!)

10. holiday decorations or ornaments

i adore my precious ornaments i've brought from past wintery trips and cherish them so much every time i un-box them to put them on the tree! also fun is hanging decorations. kind of funny, isn’t it, because if you saw these ornaments every month of the year, you’d get tired of looking at them, but putting them away for eleven months and taking it out is like remembering your trip all over again!

and one bonus souvenir, because i can’t help myself....

11. shower or bath goods

i tried the sóley organics line from iceland on my second trip and adored the fresh herbal scent and, honestly, the fact that these products are made with plants and herbs from the icelandic countryside as well as the pristine glacial water. whenever i use these products now, it takes me back to those smells and images (like in the banner image at the top) of the sweeping landscapes, deep gorges, hours spent laying in icelandic moss as a light rain started to fall, or traipsing through the long grasses on the way to glacier or waterfall hunt. anything that i use almost daily that brings back those memories and feelings is absolutely worth it!

the main takeaway here is that all of these are everyday things you will eat, look at, use, or see everyday. i think those, far and away, make the best souvenirs, regardless of price tag.

what do you tend to buy the most when you go on a trip or holiday? anything i’m missing?

ps, you might like how i travel often on a teacher’s budget or unique czech gift ideas.

Part 3

and still, he’d barely made it down the stairs. He was barely aware when he’d arrived before his mother at the serving station that had been set up for the convenience of the servants. As the Tunny-ketch it was her responsibility to disperse what the cook had prepared with her help for the servants among the individual parties. He had tried to play it casually and avoid making direct eye contact with her as she had scooped the rice she’d helped the cook prepare into an earthen bowl before ladling a soupy substance on top of it. The silence was common for them. They usually did not talk while either was on duty. She had wanted to instill in him the importance of maintaining the appearance of professional conduct. As a result, they had kept enough to themselves that if a person were to judge them solely by their interactions while they were on the job, most would assume both tigers were unrelated. The shared species had initially been assumed a coincidence by more than one new employee. Unfortunately, she was a clever woman who could instinctively determine someone’s mood and knew when they had something on their minds they didn't want to share. Lungri,as both her son and an eight-year-old, had not yet mastered the art of concealing his emotions from his nom. So when she saw her son’s face, she’d known something instantly must have happened. When he chanced a glance at her and met the full weight of her piercing inquisitive stare, he'd realized to his dismay that she had sensed something was off. He had immediately hastened his steps to escape the oncoming interrogation. His mother may have wanted to inquire about his day, but she could not follow him once he left her. Duty required her to remain until everyone had been served. He had used this tactic before. And usually, she would be too exhausted after work to make an effort to confront him over whatever issue he was hiding from her. Hr could feel her eyes burning a hole his back, but he kept himself facing forward, worried she would call after him if he so much as turned his head. there was security in knowing he'd be safe until she had returned from cleaning the kitchen and preparing it for the next day. If she had been the type, who cared more about him than whether his infirmity would cause him to be a drain on what little resources she had, perhaps he would have been more willing to share. Sadly this was not the case. He hadn't felt up to volunteering details emotionally, because he was too tired to pretend he would receive anything outside of harsh criticism for his behavior that day. She would not care how he felt about how his first day on the job had gone as long as he still had it. And truthfully? After how badly he’d bungled everything he hadn't been entirely certain he would still have a job waiting for him after that day. This meant there was no strategic advantage to discussing the day’s events either. So, hed sat in his usual corner knees drawn up to protect his meal in case someone were to ‘accidentally’ knock over his meal and leave him with nothing. He spoke to no one. There was no one with whom he wanted to talk. He didn’t even want to eat but knew better than to avoid it. When he’d began eating his movements were tense and jerky, the rest of the world was a hum of nonsensical noises that hardly seemed to exist outside his inner turmoil. Truthfully, he’d been so distracted he had barely even tasted what had been served. It was doubtful he had missed much.The servants weren’t permitted to eat the same food as their employers. The only exception was if it came in the form of scraps from the table. No one wanted to see good food wasted so the wait staff would collect the leftovers from his or her employer’s table. The cook would then combine the leftovers with the meager rice rations the family they served provided for them. The results may not have been perfect, but it was always edible. The servants knew that the food they were fed was superior to what they might have eaten if they’d served under an employer that was not among the British elite. Still, there was only so much spices could do to improve a meal that was made from the scraps of scavenged meals. This meant that the wait staff had to be watched at times to prevent theft from the servant’s community food resources. It was saddening that poverty had reduced rational beings to fighting over the table scraps of the colonizing powers that were but at the end of the day everyone needed to be fed. And honestly, it was understandable why they occasionally felt the need to sneak a little taste of the food they touched. The English didn't seem, and they were the ones who witnessed first hand how casually they wasted good foods. To sample just a little of that opulence must have felt like their just reward for handing the majority over to the cook to make what he would for everyone else. The stomach envied that which it could not have. Thankfully the waiters were usually fairly honest people, and they generally brought back everything that had been collected from the table. it might have been understandable if they did not, but the employers of the house only gave them the bare bones of what would be expected for survival. They expected the servants to share the leftovers and had used that as an excuse to feed them less. So, once the host and their guests had left the table, it had truly become the community's food in the eyes of everyone involved. The dishes that were made with meats forbidden by servants holding different religious beliefs were noted, and the appropriate servants would handle the food before returning it to the cook. The leftovers would then be used to flavor or add something to whatever bulk food, usually rice, was served with it. After that, it would be served to those who belonged to the appropriate religious sect and called the place home. It was a tidy system that left everyone passably fed. Their employers had seen no need to hire more than one cook for the savory dishes if the main tasks could be done using one servant. This resulted in religious disrespect that had not settled well with their previous cooks. The employers had expected their cooks to behave as the English did and work with whatever menu the mistress had chosen. Religious beliefs were not considered an appropriate reason to refuse to prepare a dish. So when their relations with their previous chefs soured due to their Employer’s lack of respect regarding said beliefs, they had blamed the Indians for their supposed laziness and continued to hire then fire people in succession. Eventually, in a fit of distress over her failure to keep cooks for any exceptional duration of time, the mistress had spilled her troubles with her string of disobedient cooks among the other well to do officer’s wives during afternoon tea. She had quickly discovered they had all faced the same issue at one point or other. Many had resorted to sending for cooks from Europe, despite the high price of travel. The mistress had not wanted to waste the pin money her husband had given her to handle the household finances to send for some woman who would expect to be paid many times what was considered extravagant by the locals and might die from one of the many horrible diseases that seemed keen on ravaging through communities every other year. So she’d settled on grudgingly vetting Goenche Katholik applicants on the recommendation of one of her fellow military wives. They charged more for their services than many of their other Indian counterparts, which had sent the mistress into grumbling fits for weeks, but with all her requirements satisfied, there hadn’t been much choice in the natter. Lungri had been very young at the time, so he did not remember the cold treatment the man had received when he first arrived. What had made him valuable to the employers, his willingness to touch forbidden meat, had appalled many of his fellow servants. Working with such things marked him as lower than the lowest of castes. It put him outside the system entirely. His religion, like the English Anglicans, did not forbid him from preparing meals containing pork or beef. Even during periods when fish became the only meat he would consume, he was ready and more importantly willing to provide for the unique dietary needs of every member of the household. This attitude made it less likely for fellow servants to criticize his cooking. It was unwise to anger the man responsible for feeding you, especially when he was the rare sort of man that didn't antagonize you for your deeply held beliefs. So the frosty attitudes hadn’t lasted long, and soon the man had become popular enough among his fellow servants despite his status as an untouchable. His mother, for example, had seen fit to court the man. It was an odd decision as a wife would take on her husband’s social status and she, while poor, was not on the outside of her society looking in. He wished he had not overheard the rumors that had spread throughout the household regarding his mother's past but adults often underestimated the comprehension skills of children and spoke more freely in their presence than they ought. As a result, he had heard his mother’s actions painted in various colors. The most common theory was that she coveted his monetary finances. The cook was a frugal man and, while he would never be considered wealthy, if he were released from employment, he could survive on his savings for several years if necessary. He wasn’t entirely objectionable as a husband if you were able to ignore both his caste and his religion of choice. The second was that she was tired of being seen as the unwed mother of a fatherless child with what many viewed to be a karmic disability. Views were split on the reason for his lame paw, but it had cast a dark shadow over both their lives since the day it had been discovered. She had been a first generation prostitute who had volunteered to join the collection of them that had serviced the English cantonment.

The Stoner Diet: How Getting High Will Help You Eat Your Veggies

Noel Duan of Leafly Reports:

The infamous munchies—they’re real, and if you’re ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve hit a bong one too many times and didn’t prepare any nachos beforehand, you know it’s a dire type of hunger that feels like it will never be satiated. It’s kind of great: Finally, you have an excuse to eat an entire pizza by yourself! (And then you can top it off with a pint of ice cream alternated with spoonfuls of chocolate syrup. Om nom.)

Cannabis consumers are more likely than others to be fit: Scientists have found that regular consumers tend to have significantly smaller waist circumferences than people who have never consumed cannabis. According to researchers at the University of Nebraska, the Harvard School of Public Health, and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, cannabis actually has the potential to improve insulin control and regulate body weight. It sounds amazing (another win for the cannabis community!), except for the fact that correlation doesn’t imply causation. The munchies are not a hallucinatory experience, and those calories are still real.

Personally, I dictate my lifestyle choices by my desire to wear crop tops all year long, but no matter what your fitness goals, if you’re trying to get into a wellness regimen and have a hard time resisting deep-dish pizza after a sesh, take heed of the following: my “Stoner Diet” tips.

1. Throw out the junk food out of your pantry—and yes, that secret stash of Cheetos under your bed, too.

A nutritionist I once worked with when I was a beauty editor told me that good habits are “all about context.” What she meant is that you need to create an environment where you are encouraged to make healthy choices, not tempted to make choices you’ll regret. When you’ve got the munchies, you feel like you need to eat everything in front of you—and anything else that you find. Don’t deny that appetite—just replace your potato chips with precut vegetables and hummus dip, or your gummy bears with a carton of fresh blueberries. Who knows, you may just ingest more fruits and vegetables than you normally do! (Bonus: Things like fruit are amazing for quelling dry mouth.)

2. Use cannabis as a nightcap instead of sleeping aids.

Even a tiny edible dose will have negligible calories, and smoking and vaping are guilt-free. Also, if you schedule your consumption as a nightcap to ease into a relaxed state before bed, you won’t be up scrounging for midnight snacks later.

3. Get high and then go outside.

Many elite athletes use cannabis for performance improvement or recovery. If you’re not an elite athlete, we still suggest getting high and then heading outside for a run or a long walk if the weather is nice. It’ll enhance your appreciation of the outdoors, even if you’ve always been an indoors kid. Better yet, head to a museum or go gallery hopping—you’ll get some much-needed exercise and enhance your appreciation of art. If you’re smoking or vaping before you work out, choose a sativa strain to keep yourself motivated and upbeat. We also love popping an edible before a run to get motivated, as well as to soothe tired muscles throughout and after you’re done.

4. Replace the alcohol.

People who use cannabis regularly tend to decrease or completely stop their consumption of alcohol. This can save a ton of calories. Additionally, you’ll stop having debilitating hangovers in the morning, which means you won’t be reaching for the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich to revive yourself. (Or maybe you still will—it’s a good source of protein.)

5. Cook before you get high. Enjoy while you’re high.

Enhance your carefully prepared, home cooked meals with your cannabis—we can all feel like Le Cordon Bleu-trained chefs with the help of the cannabis plant. While your standard veggie pasta may not taste like a Michelin-starred meal while sober, it always seems to while stoned. So cook dinner, then load a quick bowl before you sit down to eat. You won’t be ingesting any more calories than you usually would, and you’ll have a greater appreciation of your own culinary efforts.

6. Eat whatever and whenever you want.

Let’s forget all the above for a second: At the end of the day, no one is here to food shame you. Consuming cannabis is a positive choice for wellness, and enjoying an entire pizza pie by yourself is a simple joy of life. We need both for a truly healthy lifestyle.

TO READ ALL THE UPDATES FOR THIS ARTICLE ON LEAFLY, CLICK HERE.

https://www.leafly.com/news/food-travel-sex/the-stoner-diet-eating-healthy-while-high

                                                                              April 2017

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*****Welcome to sexual assault awareness month.. Be vigilant and help your fellow man or woman!

*****Lady Gaga will replace Beyonce at Coachella

*****Will they ever air the Gary Cole episode of Law and Order SVU?

*****Things are heating up in the impeachment trial of Alabama’s Gov. Robert Bentley. His lawyer claims he was denied due process. The other side says that this is just delay.

*****Does ABC have a hacking problem? I can’t even remember how many times certain people start to talk on different programs and boom.. cuts ou, jammed or temporarily interrupted with something out of left field. Is it local.. Does this happen to everyone?

*****Madonna is adopting 4 year old twins.

*****Ten percent of the bidders for the border wall are Hispanic.

*****The second to last season of The Americans is rockin’!!

*****”We know he’s crazy, we have to start protecting ourselves.” This is just one of the lines from Dave Letterman in a New York magazine interview that centered mostly on Trump. He has no qualms about calling things out. “How is a white supremacist the chief advisor to our President?” “If we get a President sometime soon who does not have a mental disorder, twitter will be useful.” You must look it up, it is worth a read!

*****Rihanna received Harvard’s Humanitarian award.

*****Roger Stone, big supporter and surrogate for Trump tried to discredit the FBI over the Iraq war. Charlie Rose had to set him straight and tell him it was a CIA report that had revealed the possible weapons of mass destruction. The man, who has a Nixon tattoo that spans his shoulders, is also under investigation for collusion with the Russians.

*****The White house is talking about creating propaganda to whip up the anti- immigrant hysteria even more: VOICE: Victims of immigration crime engagement. Some call this racist and how genocide begins.

*****Dancing with the stars is back with Charo, Mr.T, Nancy Carrigan, Simone Biles and Chris Kattan.

*****Radio shows have come full circle to become podcasts. The more things change, the more they stay the same. We still seem to like to just listen to people talk. Check out Karina Longworth with You Must Remember This. With Feud (next up for Feud: Charles and Di) going strong on FX, it is a good time to listen to her Bette/Joan episode. With Manson in the news again, there is a 12 part episode on his part in Hollywood.

*****Ann- Margret is back with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin in Going in Style.

*****Baskets has been given the greenlight for season 3!

*****Louis CK and Albert Brooks are bringing the animated The Cops to TBS.

*****Shemar Moore will be making an appearance on the season finale of Criminal Minds. His character will be bringing the team some info about ‘Scratch.” Shemar recently told ET that he wanted Morgan to call Penelope ‘Sugar tits’ instead of ‘baby girl” , but the writers wouldn’t go for that. He is also filming a CBS pilot reboot of S.W.A.T. The Criminal Minds finale airs on May 10.

*****Should we have to put up with Jeff Sessions and his lies about the Russian ambassador? We have direct evidence of deception. Comey made it official that the Trump camp is under investigation for possible collusion with the Russian involvement with the campaign. Funny that he always shot his mouth off about Hillary but was mum on this. The Republicans questioned Comey mostly about the leaks which is important but also a great distraction.  The FBI reveals that Russia did not even try to hide their tracks. It is possible they were just gathering and then when they dumped the info they went through an intermediary. **Sean Spicer claims that Paul Manafort, (who seems to have many ties to Russia and who ran the campaign for a time and ran the RNC) had a very limited role with the campaign.  The bugging of Trump tower was laid to rest but just not by scary clown and co. They seem to believe that GCHQ, British intelligence was involved as well. Why don’t the Republican Senators get some fucking balls and quit defending this freak? Let’s hone in on this Russian connection and get this freak out of there.**Ivanka is getting an office and top clearance? Is this an Edith Wilson situation? Does the family have to keep an eye on him? Is it time to face the sad fact that he may have dementia or a mental disorder? BTW Wendy Williams mentioned that she would rather be Tiffany than Ivanka because of all the responsibility and the whole wife and daughter thing going on. Tiffany gets to be out there living it up.  Love that!**Pence is no prize either, he is always behind Trump looking like a bobble head doll. Be aware if we end up with him!

*****Hillary B. Smith is on General Hospital for a stint. Oh how I missed ya, Nora!!

*****Everyone is giving backlash about cutting funding for PBS and meals on wheels. Mick Mulvaney, director of the office of management and budget tells us it is only a 3% cut but I am guessing we will now have 3% more hungry people. He explains that a lot of people do not want their tax dollars to fund the National endowment for the arts. I do not want mine to add millions to the military budget or Mar a Lago trips or Melania’s NY shutdown (the gossip is that Trump and the first lady are basically separated). They don’t seem to give a fuck about that.**It is so great that the ‘Trump health care plan’ fell apart but Pelosi and Hoyer et al. need to stop crowing and keep fighting against the rest of the crap the majority is trying to get by with and fix the things that need fine tuning on the ACA.

***** Does anybody else find Feud and The American’s Alison Wright absolutely irresistible?? She is so fabulous!!

*****It looks like Sears and Kmart may be in the verge of going out of business.

*****Jared Kushner’s role just gets bigger and bigger. He has been appointed to reconfigure the government and deal with the border wall and negotiate peace in the Middle East. One guy? OK!

***** CBS Sunday morning informed us about the wonders of Denmark. They do have the highest cancer rates and taxes but they have the highest wages and lowest poverty rates too. They live by the word Hygge which means live simply.

*****The White House did not even send an official rep to This Week, they just sent some old buddy of Trumps. Will they start to run out of new faces to defend them? ** Bret Stephens at the Wall Street Journal wrote, “The president clings to his assertions like a drunk to an empty gin bottle.” And Bill Moyers wrote,” There’s a smell of treason in the air.” Samantha Bee likens Trumps military spending to an insecure guy who tries to make his penis look bigger. Bill Maher wonders if constitutionalist Judge Gorsuch will wonder ‘What would the slaveholders do?’ Michael Moore wrote, “Historians in the near future will mark today,3-28-17, as the day the extinction of human life on earth began, thanks 2 Donald Trump.”** Donald Trump Jr. criticized the London Mayor after the attacks.

*****And just as Scary clown 45 signed the repeal to wipe out Obama’s climate change record, An inconvenient truth sequel Truth to Power is coming out.

*****The Rolling Stones are nominated for best blues act and best blues album in the Jazz FM awards.

*****There is no clean coal!

*****The Daytime Emmy’s were announced. The Talk and Ellen lead the pack with 8 nominations. There are 5 for the View and the announcement fucked up their names. I’ll be routing for CBS Sunday morning and CBS this morning. I can’t believe that The Pioneer woman was not nominated for outstanding culinary program. I guess I will route for Trisha’s Southern Kitchen. Days of our Lives was nominated for show, directing and writing. There was best actor noms for Billy Flynn (Chad) and Vincent Irizarry (Deimos). Kate Mansi (the old Abigail) was nominated for best supporting actress and John Aniston (Victor) for supporting actor. Go Days!!!

*****The small Illinois town of West Frankfurt stood up for Carlos Hernandez. Hernandez was picked up when the immigrant ban enforcers were looking for someone else. The town vouched for him and called this out as unfair.

*****The FDA has approved food to protect food. Edipeel is a spray made out of food that can put a thin shield on fruit and protect it 5 times longer than normal. It is edible and tasteless. It will be invaluable in places with no refrigeration and help with waste.

*****Patrick Stewart is applying for American citizenship to help with the fight we are having in here at home. Agitate..Agitate..Agitate.

*****Looks like NBC has given the greenlight to an Ellen DeGeneres game show.

*****Tom Hanks sent the White house press corps an espresso machine with a note that read: “Keep up the good fight for truth, justice and the American way. Especially for the truth part.” This is a tradition he started with the Bush administration.

*****Get ready for a Big band theory spinoff.

*****Steve Martin will teach an online comedy course. The cost is $90 on Masterclass. Others who have taught are Christina Aguilera, Kevin Spacey, James Patterson, Dustin Hoffman, Werner Herzog and Aaron Sorkin. They will soon be joined by Shonda Rhimes and Hans Zimmer.

***** Caterpillar was raided by the Feds which included the IRS, CID, Inspector General and export enforcement. Word is they may be indicted for tax evasion. This could be from a 2009 lawsuit alleging the company shifted profits overseas and to offshore shell companies to avoid paying more than 2 billion in taxes.

*****Hall and Oates and Tears for Fears are set to tour.

*****This time it’s real. You see warnings on the internet all the time about your privacy rights but this time look out! The Senate has voted to repeal a set of rules aimed at protecting online data. Once again the big companies win under this administration. This could let internet providers share info. New Jersey Rep. Frank Pallone Jr. states “At a time when our personal data is more vulnerable than ever, it’s baffling that senate republicans would eliminate the few privacy protections Americans have today.” The word is that millions are pouring in for their votes. Ted Cruz reportedly got 2 mil. We will be paying the big cable giants to sell our info to the highest bidder and this could keep the FCC from ever again establishing similar consumer privacy protections. And this from a man who wants privacy with his taxes. Some of the wealthy are claiming they will buy all the info of those that voted to sold us down the river and release it to the public.

*****Robert Redford has me excited about 2 films. The first is out now about the afterlife called The Discovery. It also stars Riley Keough, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Segel and Rooney Mara. The other has distribution rights just coming together. The Old man and the gun is the true story of a thief with Sissy Spacek, Danny Glover and Casey Affleck.

*****A tribute to the music of Merle Haggard will be held in Nashville with Keith Richards, Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, Loretta Lynn, The Avett Brothers, Alison Krauss and Billy Gibbons.

*****Microfiber is causing great problems with water pollution. I knew I hated fleece.

*****There has been an official request for scary clown’s tax returns.

*****”These are not good times.” –John McCain. McCain is also very worried that North Korea’s leader is not rational and needs to be handled. It is kind of frightening when our own leader is not rational.

*****Look for the live album Charlie Watts meets Danish Radio Big Band. The music which includes Stones covers was recorded in 2010 and will drop on April 21.

*****As soon as the ACA was saved, the blame game started! Scary clown and his cohorts blamed Washington for cancelling the health care vote stating that “It’s a lot more rotten than we thought.” Trump said “I’m glad it’s behind me” and then tweeted blame to the republicans and the democrats and the very conservative republicans and it just goes on. He invited us to watch his beloved friend Judge Jeanine who minced no words in that Paul Ryan needs to step down. He is adamant that he does not blame Ryan. Ok. Jeanine scolded that we all knew a businessman would not know how to legislate but he made it clear during the election that he knew more than anybody. Is the world  laughing at our “art of the deal”  tough New Yorker president who was suckered by the Wisconsin dude. Trump is like the armchair quarterback who is finally thrown into the game and does not have a clue. **Bannon bullied and threatened the night before the “vote”, telling the house members that they had no choice but it seemed to work against him and wouldn’t that be the President’s job? ** The topper was Colbert using the schoolhouse rock song, “I’m just a bill” which ended with the bill blowing his brains out.

*****Some high school kids came up with We Dine Together for the new or loner kids to make some new friends. Look it up and help to open chapters locally!!

*****Zac Brown is coming out with new music.

*****Trump has now rescinded the order Obama signed requiring firms that do business with the federal government prove compliance with federal laws and executive orders. This makes Trump look like he’s doing the right thing by leaving one of Obama’s executive orders in place that prohibits the federal government from contracting with firms that discriminate based on sexual orientation and gender identity. People from the LGBT community would have to take steps to enforce it now.** College basketball in North Carolina sort of forced the repeal of the bathroom law but they leave a regulation of bathroom access solely to the control of the legislature. It prevents local government from passing or amending their own non -discrimination ordinances pertaining to private employment.

*****There is a growing number of the French who want President Obama to run for President of France. It is possible if he were so inclined. One only has to be a resident, not a natural born citizen to run for President in Great Britain, Israel, Germany, France, Canada and France.

*****The Mount Kushmore Wellness retreat tour is coming to 16 cities with Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, Cypress Hill, Method Man and Redman.

*****Are all the Russians visiting Trump and his cohorts buying their vodka at Costco?

*****Apparently Beau Biden’s widow is dating his brother Hunter Biden.

*****This year’s Seattle Hemp fest runs August 18-20.

*****Who knew that Bryan Cranston dubbed a lot of the monster voices from Japanese to English for the original Power Rangers.

*****Dimitri Rybolovlev, a Russian fertilizer businessman bought a Trump home in Florida for twice what it was worth. This was the most expensive home sale in U.S. history.  He and the Presidents planes cross paths all the time though there have been many denials of this. A Russian ambassador was sitting in the front row of Trumps first press conference as President. Reports say that Scary clown went ballistic in the oval office when he discovered that Sessions recused himself. He left for Florida without his senior staff.** Now there is an inquiry about his business with an Iranian family known as the Corleoni’s of the Caspian.

*****Ben Carson called slaves immigrants and then walked it back.

*****Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep are making a film about The Pentagon Papers to be called The Post.

*****North Korea fired 5 missiles into the ocean.

*****Beef Products Inc. is suing ABC over a story they did on a meat product they called pink slime. The judge said the suit could move forward.

*****Rachel Maddow got some backlash for overdoing it on her big Trump taxes show. Some think the President himself put them out.

*****SNL’s Weekend Update is going prime time. They are also going live in all time zones on April 15th.

*****Mischa Barton has filed a lawsuit over a sex tape that was filmed without her consent.

*****A tweet from Mcdonald’s had some pretty bad things to say about our President. The tweet was taken down in 20 minutes and they claim they were compromised.

*****Days alert: Did we see Nicole on the run with that poor baby? She is more street smart than to be taken advantage of by a street hustler at the little hotel. C’mon! I hate it when characters I like leave and the way they write them off seems more exciting than when they were there. Like, I want to see Teresa’s character on her secret adventure right now. I am sick of Chad thinking about Gabby moments from his past, enough! And then bam!!,  Deimos hits him where it hurts. Since Roman has retired, are they putting him in charge of the Brady Pub? I think that is perfect, he wants to take it a little easier and everybody’s favorite meeting place in Salem needs the next generation to take over.** Everyone in this country was talking about health care but I think most soap characters must have great insurance. Especially lately on Days, transplants, cancer, poisoning.. the hospital has been full up.** Hooray.. Adrienne picked Lucas, it’s about fucking time!!

*****Ben Affleck is recently out of rehab.

*****It looks like they are talking about remaking ‘The Fly’.

*****Netflix has the global rights to Orson Welles unfinished final film ’The Other Side of the Wind’.

*****Robert Blake is getting married again. His third wife is Pam Hudak that he had dated back in 1991 and previously lived in his guest house.

*****Can we all vote by mail yet?? What is the problem??

*****Looks like Kyle Bush is a bit of a hot head. He went after Joey Lagano after a race.

*****The Japanese prime minister was telling us what happened in some meetings he had with the Pres. I guess we are getting official news by way of Japan now since scary clown tells us nothing of any real importance.

*****Will Scary Clown 45 bring war as a jobs program? Where are the jobs he promised? There are many empty offices in Washington right now that could be filled with employed workers. He has many jobs to give and he won’t do it and they are firing people left and right. Look at the money we spend on getting him to Mir a Lago and the delusional investigations he wants into wiretapping etc. Just think of what a poor family could do with that money. This administration is gutting the EPA and that is just the beginning. The only good news is the stock market is up. He really behaves more like a cult leader than a President. He talks only in front of the people who worship him. I’m sure he can’t believe his dumb luck that so many Americans are uninformed. He communicates in “facts” that only he seems to understand. He sends out his minions to spread HIS intellectual pollution back to their audience of one. Charles Manson is of ill health and perhaps is not long for this world so I guess scary clown 45 is the new evil, the deplorables are the new ‘family’.

*****The liberal rednecks of comedy make me wonder when those raised with hate and or narrow teachings will rebel against their parents and become liberals filled with acceptance.

*****What is all this touching on late night talk shows?

*****Climate March on March 29. Scientists March on April 22.

*****Charlie Rose is back.

*****”The level of complete corruption from the fossil fuel industry that marks this administration is like nothing we’ve ever seen.”- Environmentalist Bill Mckibben.

*****What kind of a person could actually believe that a ‘billionaire’ who has tried to buy up sanctuaries to put up more towers with his name on them would help the environment? Will these same people who allowed themselves to be whipped up into a frenzy of fear and anxiety love it when Yellowstone disappears? Well, they do seem to be on board with everything else so perhaps they don’t care. The pain of this election is unbearable but will some good come of it? Will he and friends who say no to everything that isn’t their idea or does not help the richest of us learn anything from this? Will their eyes be open to what it really feels like when they all get on top of you? I mean are they capable of seeing what it really fucking feels like? If they hate government so much, why do they want to be a part of it? Well, of course to tip the scales in their favor.

*****Arnold Schwarzenegger has quit Celebrity Apprentice.

*****The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg News and Time will not attend White House briefings if other outlets (CNN, New York Times etc.) are not allowed in. Good for them but perhaps they need to keep working behind the scenes on digging for the truth about scary clown 45 but not reporting every little thing he distracts us with. For instance the ‘wiretap’ stuff is proven wrong so quit talking about it and move on!** Rex Tillerson told a reporter, “I didn’t want this job.” Sources say Tillerson shuffles in and out through back doors ignoring important diplomats and his minions are not allowed to look him in the eye. Tell me this is not true!

*****Sam Rodriguez Jr., who led a prayer at the Trump Inauguration is giving a safe haven to those worried about immigration raids. His New Season Christian Worship Center also gives shelter to victims of domestic violence.

*****A young intruder jumped the fence at the White House and 2 more followers have tried to get in too.

*****Trivia lovers: We have a new worst President!

*****The Brexit process began on March 29.

*****Beauty and the Beast set some records. It was the biggest March opening ever and the biggest PG opening ever.

*****The newest Monopoly tokens are a T. Rex, a rubber ducky and a penguin.

*****Thank you Martin Sheen for inspiring Malibu to become a sanctuary city.

*****Two stolen Van Gogh’s that were found last September were put on display again in Amsterdam.

*****The 9th season of RuPauls drag race is here!

*****Florida has a wheel of fugitives that spin to focus in on certain missing law breakers.

*****The new health care plan is loaded with massive tax cuts for the rich and no budget for it. The AMA and AARP do not support it. They kept a little of the good parts of Obamacare and changed wording on some things that Dems had wanted and they had previously refused. Estimates say that 60% of Trump voters will get their repeal of the ACA but it will cost them more for health care. Big drug companies get a healthy tax break and it is like a gift to insurance companies. All the Obama haters that wanted everything repealed sound a little mixed on the tax breaks for the rich. Did they not realize that the money was coming from somewhere? It is bad enough when I see people believe a story or two from the enquirer or wonder about a conspiracy theory but the things that pass for fact in the White House is delusional. The swamp is thriving just fine!

*****Lizzie Borden is coming to the big screen with Chloe Sevigny and Kristen Stewart.

*****OMG.. The new Twin peaks has added Laura Dern, Michael Cera and Jennifer Jason Leigh!!!!

*****Way to go Ted Koppel for giving Sean Hannity a reality check. Somebody has to be the voice of reason.

*****We still don’t know much about season 7 of American Horror Story. The cast gathered at the Paley center to talk about last season. It looks like it may be about the 2016 election and we know that Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are on board and that it will come back in the fall.

*****Funny or die is bringing us 10 episodes of Sarah Silverman’s,’ I love you America.’

*****George Conway (Kellyanne’s husband) has been nominated to lead the justice department.

*****There is a new Jack Cassidy (son of Patrick), who is joining the family in entertainment.

*****Scary Clown 45 says Obama released 122 prisoners from Gitmo when we know 113 of them were by Bush.

*****Rob Reiner, I am so glad you are out there fighting the good fight for us!

*****Hawaii has filed the first lawsuit on the new travel ban. Federal judges agree but the Trump supporters want to boycott Hawaii.

*****This is not Sean Spicer’s first time at the White house. He used to be the Easter bunny in the 2000’s.

*****A DC restaurant filed suit against the Trump hotel across the street.

*****The whole ‘Janet Jackson has a daughter’ thing is back in the news.

*****In Cold Blood killer Dick Hickock wrote his own manuscript, with some help from Kansas City journalist Mack Nations called The High Road to Hell and it has just now surfaced. Before Hickock was executed, it seems that Truman Capote would not have wanted it published. Random House had a deal with Capote and some digging has shown that he fought against the other publication.

*****The new Avatar land, Pandora in Florida looks like Summer camp and it will open around the same time at the end of May.

*****Conan tweets have been on fire lately.

*****Ski joring that mixes skiing with horses is becoming more popular. I expect to see my cousin Cat doing it real soon.

*****A study of 6,000 UK teens showed that high achieving students were 50% more likely to use Marijuana occasionally.

*****Worldwide poverty has been cut in half.

*****Tomi Lahren has been suspended from her show Tomi on The Blaze network. She told the ladies of The View that she is pro -choice. Glenn Beck has spoken out against her. The network tag line is ”a platform for a new generation of authentic and unfiltered voices.” Hmmm.

*****Can’t wait for The Pollinator from Blondie. The new LP drops on May 5 with some help from Joan Jett, Laurie Anderson and Dev Hynes.

***** So.. Obama could not even get his Supreme Court nominee looked at but a President who is under investigation expects his pick to sail right thru?

*****Studies show that Subway chicken is only 50% chicken.

*****How wonderful that Michael Moore is showing Taylor Hackford’s Hail Hail Rock ‘n Roll in his Michigan theatre to honor Chuck Berry.

***** Look for Michael Nesmith’s new book and cd,  Infinite Tuesday: Autobiographical riffs!

*****R.I.P. Robert Osborne, Fred Weintraub, Joni Sledge, Chuck Berry, Jimmy Breslin, Chuck Barris. Robert James Walker, the victims of the London attack,