as soon as I said this I realized that a juniper with a little less self respect would never have met the party in the first place because she'd still be a noblewoman's sidepiece

Me First

TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE, FIGHTING, SWEARING, MENTIONS OF BODILY HARM, RACISM, A TAD BIT OF TRANSPHOBIA AND ANGST.

(AUTHOR NOTE: Sorry if this is kind of bland ,but I am really tired and felt bad for not updating for a while and i've been sick so enjoy)

02/14/2014 12:35 PM Rafael was slammed into a locker, he once again was punched while being told: “You are such a worthless piece of shit!” his boyfriend grabbed his face and kissed his cheek he sometimes wished his boyfriend was not like this Rafael thought to himself “how the fuck did I even get into this relationship” Rafael gave him a sour look “Don’t look at me like that princess” “Just call me prince-” he gets slapped “Don’t fucking correct me you know what you are” Rafael didn’t have the energy to argue with him “Now I got to get to class see you later slut” he smacked Rafeal’s butt he walked away Rafael kept trying not to cry as he picked up his backpack and started to walk to his class the hallways were silent and empty reminded him of how he felt besides all of the Valentines day decorations this holiday made him sick he walked into his class “Mr.Ghali nice of you to show up?” said his teacher he looked at him he had a dead look on his face the teacher showed concern then gestured for him to come to the desk Rafael complied “Are you alright?” “I’m fine why?” he lied “Have you looked at your face?” he pulled out a mirror from his desk and showed him he had a big black eye and hickeys on his neck “Is everything okay at home?” “Just fine” “I heard what happened to your mom” “I’m still fine I just fell down the stairs” he walked away and sat next to his friend Roody immediately tapped his shoulder and signed “Are you okay?” he couldn’t lie to him he signed back “No K-Y-L-E is back on his bullshit” “Did he abuse you again?” “What does it look like?” Suddenly a person sat next to Rafael “I could understand every word you were signing and I just gotta say I’ll punch him for you” Rafael looked at this person fairly androgynous, fair-skinned, wore a black wide-brimmed hat, green flannel, brown eyes had brown and purple hair “Who gave you-?” “Sorry I couldn’t help but chime in my name is Samhain by the way” sticks their hand out to shake Rafael didn’t shake it “I get it I get it, but still sitting here” “No one is stopping you” “Good” Sam started to set up their easel and pulled out an almost complete painting it was a boy in a tight box crying “Wow that looks depressing” “You like it? It’s about my claustrophobia” they take out a lot of oil paints they pull their hair from behind their ear it’s pointed “Hey dude is your ear fake?” Sam looked at Rafael “No its real man wanna touch it?” Rafael was hesitant “S-sure?” he reaches to touch it it is real “Don’t worry man I’m only a half-elf” “Elves aren’t real you stupid fuck!” said a random kid Samhain immediately rebutted with “I’m sorry you are insecure and feel the need to pick on others to hide your dick is tiny!” the kid blushed was silenced Rafael was impressed then he noticed that Sam was wearing gloves “Why are you wearing gloves?” “After class, I’ll show you” then he remembered he had to see Kyle after class or he will get hit again “Can’t my boyf-” “Forget that asshole”

1:30 PM Sam is pulling on Rafael’s arm pulling him to the park near the school and climbed on some equipment into a small area that sat on top of the slide “Why here?” “Fewer people also what I freaks out people” this just raised more questions Sam took off their glove hand held it out “Now shake my hand” he was hesitant, but as soon and he did Sam’s eyes turned white mouth opened with a “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh” sound Rafael let go and Sam came back again and a tear went down their face and went to hug Rafael “Dude what did you do?” Sam let go and wiped the tear “Well I have an ability to touch someone and see their past” “So you saw-” “Everything man your dad was an asshole” “Why do you think he’s dead” Sam laughed a bit “But seriously dude your boyfriend is horrible to you” Rafael sighed “I know he is, not like I can break up with him” “That is where you are wrong you can you are just scared” Rafael knew Sam was telling the truth and slumped in his spot “I know you just met me today, but I cannot stand and watch someone be in this situation” “I appreciate your generosity, but-” “ You need to stop worrying about him and put you first what do you want to do?” Rafael thought for a minute “I want to break up with him, but I feel trapped” Rafeals phone buzzes it’s Kyle he texted “Bitch where are you??? >:(” Raffy sighed Sam looked sad “It’s him isn’t it?” he nodded he felt like crying Sam took his phone and typed “hanging out with my friend” he replied, “Who tf would be friends with you?” “People who don’t beat me just because they feel like it” “You are on your way to another beating >:( ” “I’m breaking up with you” “No, you are NOT” “I need to put myself first” “That is the shittiest excuse I’ve ever heard” Sam looked at Rafael “Wow he is a dipshit” the phone buzzed again “I am going to beat your sorry little ass in front of everyone to show you are a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve love” They gave the phone back and started popping their knuckles and took off their flannel and wrapped it around their waist Rafael was concerned “what are you going to do? “You’ll see”

2:00 PM Sam was practically marching over to the school Kyle was still angrily texting Rafael he was scared of Kyle when he gets like this yet was following Sam, Kyle was in the lunchroom when he saw Rafael he started to march on over full of rage Sam stood in front of Raffy perfectly still fist clenched “Hey Bitch!” Kyle shouted everyone in the attention of the room was caught Sam still stood still and whispered “Leave this will get ugly” Rafael was still scared suddenly Roody grabbed Raffy and moved him out of the room “HEY ASSWIPE WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Kyle shouted he was about to push Sam out of the way Sam grabbed Kyles arm Kyle was surprised and shouted “LET GO DIPSHIT” and went for a punch Sam caught it and said “You really need to work on your anger” then kicked him in the stomach Kyles back hit a table full of kids he quickly got up to punch again, but Sam blocked it and blocked another one and proceeded to punch him in the face Kyle was thrown off guard, but his anger raised and finally got a punch in on Sam “Not so tough are ya?” Sam giggled “I can do this all day”.

2:15 PM Rafael and Sam were now sitting outside the principal’s office Rafael kept looking at sam and his new bruises “we are both screwed aren’t we?” Sam said Rafael sighed “With my mom probably yes” “Probably yes with my aunt” “Why your aunt?” “I live with her since my parents died” “Oh dang so you are birdman with extended family” Sam laughed “SAMHAIN MARIE LOVECRAFT” Sam froze suddenly a dark-skinned woman with white tattoos, white long hair, with a pastel purple dress was in the room “What did you do?” “Aunt-” “Rafael!” Khadijah walked into the room “I got a call from the principal what’s happening?” she saw the bruises on him she started to touch them “Who did this?” before he has a chance to answer Kyle walked out of the office with a death glare pointing at Rafael “Ms. Ghali Ms. Lovecraft we are ready for you” they all walked in.

2:30 PM “SO YOU KNEW MY CHILD WAS IN THIS TOXIC RELATIONSHIP!” “Ms.Ghali-” “AND YOU DID NOTHING!” “Not nothing-” “What kind of bullshit school is this” Ms. Lovecraft said “Celine-” “Don’t fucking Celine me! You are going to persecute my nibling for defending their friend?” “Well, she-” “You won’t even use the right pronouns for them!” Sam and Rafael were looking at their caregivers ripping the principal a new one they felt bad yet amused suddenly Khadijah said “You have 24 hours to fix this or I will sue the school for discrimination!” she grabbed Rafael by the arm Celine did the same for Sam as they got to the parking lot Celine started laughing “Are you actually going to sue the school?” Khadijah chuckled “No I don’t even have a lawyer” “I never properly introduced myself I’m Celine Lovecraft I am Sammy’s aunt” extends her hand to shake “I’m Khadijah Ghali I am Rafael’s mother” shakes her hand “Do you have a ride home?” “Unfortunately no my husband has the car I took the bus here” “I can drive you and Sam home my car has enough” They all get into the car the adults started talking about their lives the teens looked at each other and knew this would start a beautiful friendship.

05/21/2014 4:03 PM Sam was knocking on the door vigorously Raffy answered “Welcome Eldritch god” “Happy to be here juniper boy” Sam had a backpack “Sleepover again?” “Hell yes get in here” Raffy pulled them in laughing Khadijah was in the living room “Hello Sammy” “Hi Ms. G! I’m spending the night again!” “I heard don’t break anything like last weekend” “No promises!” The two teens laughed and ran up the stairs. They make it to Rafael's room “Alright crack open the bag what do you got?” Sam sat on the bean bag chair and rummaged through “Well some sunflower seeds, Plateau Condensation, some horror flicks also” they pull out a bag of weed “Ah hell yeah but did you bring the Air freshener” they pull out a can of it.

7:38 PM “Hoe you don’t run from a serial killer!” “Defend yourself!” they proceeded to throw popcorn at the tv a scream came from the TV “Why do we watch these if we are gonna know they get killed” “I don’t know it’s funny and hilarious with your best bud” “I mean true” a knock is heard they start hiding the weed someone opens the door it’s Sahar “Hey bro can I crash in here?” “Yeah man” “Also I’m about to say something I’ll probably regret later” Rafael was skeptical “which is?” “Can I have a hit of the weed?” “Sure man close the door mom will smell” he closes the door and sits on the floor and takes the joint and takes a hit and coughs hard Raffy and Sam laughed and Sam said “If you aint chokin you ain’t toking” Sahar passed it to Sam “So Sahar what made you wanna be a weeder with us” Sahar pointed to the door and suddenly heard yelling “HERMES YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE” all three teens looked at each other and Raffy sighed and said, “Your dad is here again?” “Yup he just does not learn” “Why is mom yelling at him?” Sahar sighed “He heard about Dembe dying and now just now is deciding he wants custody of me” “Oh hell no” Sahar scoffed “As if mom can’t provide for both of us” Sam passed to Rafael, Sam just said “Dang your family life seems more complicated than mine” “How so?” Sahar asked Sam sighed “Well I live with my aunt who is considered a freak in the elf world because she is a dark-skinned light elf and transgender, she is also fostering my cousin who is drow elf, and she is married to a centaur and is fostering me all because my uncle decided to be racist” Rafael passed to Sahar “Wait a minute a centaur? Isn’t she married to a dude in a wheelchair?” “Yeah he hides his horse half in there like some magic shit” “Wait does he use the horse half with your aunt” he smirked Sam pushed him “Please don’t put that image in my head” “Well everyone has sex” he laughs “Except mom” Sahar laughed Rafeal laughed even harder everyone in the room was then suddenly they hear a vase break down stairs “GET OUT OF MY HOME YOU ARE NOT WELCOME” both Sahar and Rafeal were silently rooting for this, Sam grabbed the remote and turned the volume up on the TV they all silently agreed to deal with this later.

07/02/16 11:06 AM “A is for Organization” “In what fucking Alphabet?” “Shhhh” Sam said as they picked up a box Raffy was left confused a grey skinned man with red hair said “Don’t question anything my cousin says dude” “I’ve been friend with them for a bit and 97% of what they say confuses me” “Well you are going to live with them” “Too true dude” he moved a box into the empty space Rafeal was long graduated Sam recently did and now they could finally live together with Roody of course Rafeal felt like his life was coming together at last.

Fat Freezing

Fat Freezing Cryolipolysis At court House centers

Content

Why Skin marks Occur.

how Does Cryotherapy work?

outstanding Experience At Vivō center.

What Is Femiwand Vaginal treatment?

Why select Levura Over various Other Hify Skin tightening Up Options?

What's A Mini Facelift?

Bigger ones will reduce in size however may dry and also handle a scab. When recovered the scab will disappear or decrease in size and may need a further therapy. These are common skin growths which can grow on the majority of locations of your body and are usually located on people aged 30 and older.

Why Skin marks Occur.

Can you fix a prolapse without surgery?

You might be able to relieve some symptoms on your own without surgery. You can do exercises at home that make your pelvic muscles stronger. If you choose, your doctor can fit you with a device called a pessary. A pessary can help you cope with pelvic organ prolapse.

Cellulite entails a change in the framework situated on the surface of the fat under the skin, in really certain areas of the body. Adipocytes are housed inside small "chambers" enclosed by flexible connective tissue. In the visibility of cellulite, there is a boost in both the number of fat cells and also water retention.

just How Does Cryotherapy job?

RF energy has the ability to permeate deep into the skin triggering tissue tightening, home heating of fat cells as well as enhanced blood circulation for body contouring, fat and cellulite reduction therapies. A course of professional massage therapy therapies can have exceptionally positive short term effects on cellulite.

She suggests asking for a massage where the therapist utilizes crucial oils that are clinically shown to promote flow, such as germanium or juniper. " A health facility will have access to the finest quality crucial oils that pass through deeper into the skin," she adds. After the cover, a contouring body gel is related to any type of problem areas. Steed chestnut, cedarwood and also kelp, known for aiding in keeping a healthy metabolism-- and a healthy and balanced weight, tighten, strong and also reinforce the skin to reduce any cellulite, while raising blood flow.

Throughout the Summertime, a sunlight protection aspect 50 have to be used a minimum of 30 before sunlight direct exposure and reapplied every 4 hrs. Repetitive brief cold cycles of 3 to 6 secs at 2 week intervals are suggested if you have a darker skin type. For really dark skinned individuals, you might not want to have cryosurgery, as it will kill the melanocytes around the cured area, making the skin in that area lighter. Both hyperpigmentation and hypopigmentation might happen briefly after cryotherapy. A Skin Tag is a small flap of tissue that hangs off the skin by a connecting stalk. Excrescences are highly transmittable and happen when an infection is available in call with the skin and also triggers infection. Verrucae take on the look of protuberances yet are flatter because they have a tendency to be located on the feet, where the dermis is thicker.

Originally healthy proteins as well as lipids, as well as the metabolic process of the cell is modified. As the temperature level goes down below 0 ° C, initially the water outside the cell begins to crystallise, creating the cell to dry out. At temperatures below − 20 ° C, the water inside the cell begins to crystallise, as well as at − 40 ° C intracellular ice formation is particular.

What are the stages of prolapse?

The four categories of uterine prolapse are: Stage I – the uterus is in the upper half of the vagina Stage II – the uterus has descended nearly to the opening of the vagina Stage III – the uterus protrudes out of the vagina Stage IV – the uterus is completely out of the vagina.

Why not treat them to a gift voucher to utilize at Jasmines for this treatment. As a standard, a 5 2nd treatment would certainly be needed for each pigmented area/age area (ie 5 little areas for ₤ 50) whereas a sebhorroeic blemish would require a 25 second therapy. Your viability for the treatment will likewise be evaluated and straightforward recommendations will be provided where it is professionally thought that you may not be a candidate for that therapy or perhaps where a different treatment may be far better matched. We offer examinations to permit you the opportunity to consult with our qualified specialists to review your location of issue as well as the therapy you are considering. You will certainly be suggested how the treatment functions, the cost and what you can anticipate throughout the therapy and article therapy. Any possible risks involved will certainly likewise be described to ensure that you can make an informed decision as to whether the treatment is best for you.

remarkable Experience At Vivō center.

This triggers compression of the blood and also lymph blood circulation, which gives rise to an inefficient drain of water and also toxic substances in the body. " A detox massage therapy will certainly deal with targeted areas to boost your circulation, which will certainly boost the appearance of any type of cellulite, in addition to lowering swelling in the thigh and leg area," states Ostronska.

They appear frequently in ladies, particularly with weight gain and in senior people. Irritability can take place if the skin tag regularity rubs against clothing or precious jewelry. A 2nd treatment might be called for if the wart/verruca is very large or has actually existed for a couple of years to make sure no viral cells remain.

What Is Femiwand Vaginal therapy?

Consultation cost needs to be made at factor of booking consultation and is redeemable versus any skin imperfection therapy you book.

If you have actually a raised PSA degree, you might be supplied an MRI scan of the prostate to assist physicians make a decision if you need additional examinations as well as treatment.

You'll have a magnetic resonance imaging check, which produces comprehensive photos of the prostate and reveals the place of the cancer.

A great HIFU candidate has mild to moderate skin laxity where the skin begins to feel as well as look much less company.

We motivate clients to organize a cost-free appointment with us initially to go over the therapy for this problem.

Instances consist of a lowered eyebrow line, loose skin on the neck, drooping under the chin and lines and also creases on the chest.

If you're battling sagging cheeks, crow's feet, creases, prominent lines from nose to mouth, under-eye bags, a heavy brow or sagging jowls, then this therapy is an optimal fit.

" Thanks so much for my million dollar facial today. It was my first ever experience of an elegance treatment, I enjoyed it so much as well as really relaxing I will certainly be back soon, thanks significantly."

Melanoma can spread by any one of a number of ways including regional, lymphatic and also blood. In addition, Cancer malignancy will change to a a lot more hostile kind if part of the lesion is left behind undiscovered. Basil cell cancer is commonly spread by local extension and also you might require much more considerable surgical procedure if reappearance is believed. Although it is best to try to leave the treated area exposed, a plaster or straightforward clothing might be used if it is in an area which might bring about scrubing and also irritation. It is necessary not to choose at the crust as this may lead to scarring. Getting rid of skin tags does not create even more to grow with the CryoPen.

Anyone who is otherwise healthy can comfortably undertake a CryoPen treatment. • Moderate stinging following the procedure - Right away after the procedure, you will likely experience moderate to medium stinging that might last for several mins to a hr.

Why does my girlfriend not get turned on anymore?

Hormonal changes such as thyroid dysfunction, low testosterone or menopause can also contribute to decreased drive and arousal. Psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, concern with body image or a history of abuse can contribute to decreased arousal.

The broken blood vessels inside a cherry angioma give them a red appearance. They are usually seen on the skin around the cheeks, nose, eyes and eyelids, forehead as well as breast yet they can take place anywhere on the body. Age/sun spots are triggered by an excess manufacturing of melanin due to skin aging and sunlight direct exposure or various other forms of ultraviolet light exposure, such as tanning beds. They are most likely to establish on the areas of your skin that receive one of the most sun exposure, consisting of the face, back of hands, upper body, shoulders and lower arms.

Whats' app or Call us if you are unable to locate a consultation day or time that matches you. Free assessment with our therapist to review your treatment strategy. There could be a little recurring painful for a couple of minutes after therapy and, periodically, a blister could create as well as persist for a couple of hrs. With interest-free finance available, you can spread the cost of your treatment to match you.

Why pick Levura Over other Hify Skin tightening Options?

Can you fix a prolapse with pelvic floor exercises?

Pelvic floor exercises can improve the symptoms in mild and moderate cases (first- to third-degree prolapse) and sometimes also prevent the organs from slipping down further. The beneficial effects may already be noticeable after a few weeks.

There may be some prickling with the first freezing, but the majority of individuals obtain an anaesthetic effect from the extreme freezing temperatures. Some individuals have some moderate pain for the very first day after the treatment. Here is a slideshow of the most usual sorts of blemishes as seen from a profile. The impacts of applying low temperature to the skin gradually enhances as the temperature level drops.

How long does a pelvic floor repair last?

Healing takes around 3 months, so during this time you should avoid any task that can put pressure on the repair i.e. lifting, straining, vigorous exercise, coughing and constipation. You should plan to take 6 weeks off work, but this all depends on the type of role you have.

Your specialist will certainly discuss the dangers connected with Cryotherapy with you before your therapy. New developments in cryosurgery with the CryoPen brings control over temperature levels and also penetration depth. The CryoPen supplies pin- factor accuracy and a regular freeze temperature.CryoPen is a straight cryosurgical device, utilising pressurised liquid nitrous dioxide.It can bring the area to a temperature as low as -89 ° C. ... I'm pleased with the results of my recent LVL (" lash volume lift") therapy.

For the removal of any pigmented locations, just one therapy is normally needed using the CryoPen ™. Light painful following the procedure-- Promptly after the procedure, you will likely experience light to tool stinging that may last for several mins to an hour. Once again, don't be also stressed about the stinging as it vanishes normally. Swelling and also soreness is a normal as well as immediate action as well as generally clears up after two to three days. A practical on/off button permits treatment to be regulated as well as reduces gas use. Once penetrated the stress will certainly remain without loss for numerous weeks. Here at Calder Vets we satisfaction ourselves available the very best therapy choices for our individuals.

I also think the rates are very sensible as well as have suggested Skin Perfection to my sibling, that has actually started the same treatment. There are no constraints on task other than to safeguard the location from damage or abrasion. By popular need, we have developed a webinar where Tanya Cooper the Medical Supervisor at the prominent Chateau Farm Health facility & Center check out some of the inovations in fat elimination modern technology. Cryopen believe everybody must have accessibility to this info so we have made it entirely complimentary. See it today & find out everything about fat decrease & fat removal innovation. • Light stinging adhering to the treatment-- Promptly after the treatment, you will likely experience moderate to tool painful that might last for numerous mins to a hr. For somewhat larger locations we can separate the treatment into a number of appointments removing the location over several sessions.

Lilly included volume and also dimension to my stick directly, lengthy blonde lashes. I really feel so pretty and awake currently without makeup, and with mascara, the added drama is intense in the best means. So satisfied I found a way to enhance my lashe without those high-maintenance as well as destructive extensions. I've been coming below for over a month currently for blue LED light treatment and also can not suggest enough! facelift has actually done wonders for my acne, the team are charming as well as the location is terrific.

Dear community can we talk?

New Post has been published on http://katborealis.com/2019/02/dear-community-can-we-talk/

Dear community can we talk?

Dear (pagan/Pagan/P-umbrella/ and/or spiritual new age and a few other groups we can never decide who is on this list, or what to call it) community,

Can we put down our torches and pitchforks and all the handfuls of mud we have been throwing at each other and have a frank conversation? The internet is becoming a toxic place in general and I think we need to have a conversation about it. Some people in our community have a big local network, but I think a lot of us have always had a bigger online community than an in real life one. We are a diverse group made up of elders who have been on this path for decades to tweens and teens just discovering witchcraft and pagan etc. stuff and everywhere in-between. We are a generally inclusive crowed too. We are awesome about the fun parts of community. Parties and sharing stories and tips and spells and pretty things. But the hard parts of life. Frankly we suck at.

For this discussion I am going to use some examples. The specifics of the examples don’t matter because news flash sometimes the point isn’t the details. Life can suck. Life can be hard. It can be comforting to know you are not alone. Buckle up because I am rested for once and who knows how long this is going to end up.

I exist in a few different circles, academic scientists, +/-pagan etc., art/photography, and a lot of friends back home in gaming/reenactment. I don’t think I would survive if I only hung out with academic scientists. I am going to use them as an example to contrast against our community. In science, you are your brand. Every once in a while something pops up and we talk about how rampant mental health issues are in our field. But. In general, people suffer in silence. Who wants to be branded the weak one in such a competitive environment? We all know people who burned out so bad then went into totally different fields. We joke about writing our talks the night before, not that it was done 2 weeks ago and you shake every time you practice it and your anxiety about it has you puking every day. In science I have learned, who you know and your reputation matter almost as much, if not more than the quality of your work. So when you are your brand you are selling why would you ever show any weakness? It is an insane amount of pressure to add to the crippling work load. I made the decision that for my mental health I need to call it quits at 5 every day. I am almost always the first person to leave. It is noticed. I only get away with doing this by busting my ass and getting in early. What matters is that I am there when everyone else gets in, even just 5 minutes. Appearances matter.

In contrast to this environment the online pagan community, and my art community can actually talk about the existence of struggles. But we can do better and isn’t that what we should be aiming for? To do better? To serve our community better? Mental health issues are one thing but not the only suckage life throws at us. But we are going to start here. We are good at acknowledging mental heath issues but we could do better at helping each other. We need to encourage and support the open dialog of rough days not just good days. Cat Treadwell is a saint in my eyes. Her open and frank discussions of her mental health, and her book about it make a huge difference for me. It’s hard. And even when its getting better there are hard days. It really does help when you know you are not alone. I think the majority are quiet about the day to day and those that speak out don’t know how many people they are helping, if nothing more than letting them know that they are not alone. You have no idea how many times that “make space mom proud” meme has reminded me to take my fucking meds. Keep sharing it. This is a good start. But just a start. In mental health it can he hard to get to the point where you can ask for help. But if you are in the US that can be just the start of struggle. Finding and paying for that help can almost be harder. We are also an alt-community so finding someone you can really talk to might be hard. We should be sharing resources a lot. Who knows where the eyes are of someone who needs it. Telling a friend is one thing, but what if that friend then had a list of professionals at their finger tips? Or trusted elders to talk to while they look for professionals? Maybe we should have a list of people who have had some sort of counselor training for each local community. And we should support people like Cat Treadwell who are helping more than they know.

While we are talking about being open and sharing the day to day with others… I saw that Juniper Jeni posted that some people had expressed that her frank talk about being a widow of a suicide makes them uncomfortable. I have seen her mention a few times people giving her shit about how she is grieving. I say tough shit. You have no idea how many people she could be helping by showing them that they are not alone. There may be many people struggling with the loss of a loved one (and yes I include friends in that list). I lost a friend over a decade ago and I am constantly reminded of her. Juniper was talking about how many reminders she has in her life every day. I started drinking my coffee totally black when she passed. The very first time I had coffee she gave me disgusting cheap ass coffee black because if you are going to do it, just do it don’t dance around it with fancy flavors and shit. Coffee reminded me of her anyways I might a well honor her and drink it black. Honestly I don’t watch Star Trek that much anymore because it reminds me of hanging out with her and her Dad (who passed when we were in high school) watching Star Trek. One post could help someone on a day they really need it. Juniper has put a lot into the community and you know what? She is helping now by sharing her experience. We should support her because the ugly truth of what happened won’t just go away and we shouldn’t sweep it under the rug. If we want to support each other we need to be there for the bad more than for the good. Its hard, it hurts, and it sucks. But if something happened in your life wouldn’t it be nice to know you could really count on your community to be there for you? Again the details of what happened, and to who almost don’t matter as much as the fact that it is being shared and might help someone who feels totally alone in their experience. Death, even expected sucks. It might be a spouse or a parent or a friend but the hard realities of cleaning up after someone’s death are not always openly talked about. And they can last a lot longer than the outpouring of support when the death happens, and the bills don’t stop. It took over a year for my Dad to deal with all the paperwork when my Grandpa passed, and his affairs were pretty well in order. You cannot live a long life and not be touched by death. Might as well face it head on and not try to hide the ugly reality of being the ones left behind.  We can teach and help each other with lessons learned. But if no one talks about it, how will you know who to ask for help? Who knows maybe seeing the ugly side of what your loved ones will go through could help someone not go down the path of suicide. We don’t know, but isn’t it worth the off chance? I don’t know Juniper really well, but sharing can be healing and why would you take that away from her if its helping? We should be supporting the fuck out of her every way we can.

Depression, Death, and now let’s talk about abuse. We need to face the ugly. This next example I will use to talk about abuse has ignited a lot of mud slinging and screaming but I am also going to argue that picking apart the details totally misses the point. Sarah Lawless wrote a piece about her bad experiences and bad behavior she has seen. The details of these cases don’t matter to me at all. That is not the point. Imagine if you were just starting out and you got into a situation with a coven that made you really uncomfortable and everyone around you acted like it was normal. Then you see a post online by someone inside the same community but maybe on the other side of the country detailing something similar and saying NO! THIS IS BAD. If it helps someone recognize a harmful situation and get out of it isn’t that a good thing? We don’t need to nitpick the details of posts like Sarah’s, we need lots of examples of behavior that we say is unacceptable. We do have issues and we can’t just sweep them under the rug. I think some of us have been around a lot time and forget that there are new shining faces in our midst. We should also be working to help and support them. Pull them under our nice black cloaks and welcome them, and arm them with tools to navigate the specific pitfalls of our community while we try to fix it. By saying you don’t have to have sex with a high priest or priestess to practice, and you don’t even have to be naked might seem like common sense to some of us, but to someone navigating our community for the first time it might be what they need to hear. Just because we are comfortable with people having multiple sex partners doesn’t mean it isn’t also ok to set your boundaries and only have one at a time if that is what you want. We should be using these stories as examples we can learn from and teach setting boundaries and consent culture. Only when we start to really work towards consent culture and forming and respecting boundaries I think will be start to see some of the issues Sarah addressed start to fade. The burning man community I have experienced has a strong emphasis on consent culture and I have always felt comfortable going to burner events, more so than pagan events. Every relationship has a power dynamic, and if you can’t tell who is the dominant well then it might just be you. Those power dynamics can make for difficult situations for the less dominant member. Consent culture gives them an “out” and more power in the situation. And trust me, its sexy and awesome for someone to check in and ask where your boundaries are. And remember consent culture doesn’t stop with sexual relationships it extends to all relationships.

You cannot have light without dark. We shouldn’t hide from the dark realities of life we should try to be the light in those dark times. We talk a lot about balance of light and dark, masculine and feminine, the elements. We need to walk that talk and face the dark realities of life head on. Cat Treadwell, Juniper Jeni, and Sarah Lawless are examples in our midst who are facing the dark realities of life and shining a light into the corners. It is impossible to quantify how many people their frankness has helped because not everyone speaks up. So my suggestion is this:

If you see a post that you disagree with the details of, maybe if the message and stories could help someone out of a dark situation, or help them not feel alone, that is the point of the post. Not the details. If the message is depression sucks but you are not alone, death is horrible but you are not alone, dealing with the aftermath of someone’s suicide really fucking sucks don’t do this to people you care about, or this behavior is abusive and you shouldn’t tolerate it, leave the details be. Of course if the message and point of the post is to hurt someone else that’s bad.

Now I hate my writing. I don’t word good. So please just pay attention to my message not the details. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and by working together we offset those weaknesses with other peoples strengths. But seriously, right now I am trying to help a few friends in my science circle and once you get past the taboo of talking about the darkness its easier to help and we already have that part down. Keep up the good work, but we can always be better! I have a lot more to say about this topic but I think that’s enough for now…

Ok. I guess now you can pick those pitchforks up, re-light those torches, and pick up your handfuls of mud. But please this time can we think a minute before jumping on a bandwagon for the next target? Let’s be constructive and make our community better and not tear each other apart ok? Unless you are a rapey or abusive person then you can fuck right off.

Love,

Kat.

P.S. About that crippling workload? Yeah I think this is the last of after work coherent Kathleen you get until about mid to late April… wish me luck!