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jerusalemstraycat · 4 years

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Post-Finale Thoughts (very long post)

Here is a comprehensive and possibly unnecessary summary of my feelings and opinions about the SU:F finale. I’ve been procrastinating (lol what else is new) so it’s a week later than I would have liked, but at least my thoughts have had a chance to fester a bit. Anyway.

I was a bit iffy about the way it went at first, but it grew on me. There are several glaring issues, as there always are, but overall it was a great note to end on. What an amazing sendoff for one of the most iconic shows of the decade.

Part of the reason the finale felt so weird to me on my first watch-through is probably the fact that I started with Everything’s Fine, having watched Homeworld Bound when it was released early.

Homeworld Bound was a great episode overall and set things up very nicely for the rest of the finale, and not having that bookend made the last three episodes feel odd and disjointed. The power of watching a show in the way it was meant to be watched, I guess.

I am SO relieved to see that Spinel’s new living arrangements are working out, you have no idea. That was my main concern with the end of the movie.

It was neat seeing the Diamonds find new applications for their powers, but Yellow’s ability to fix shattered gems with tweezers and healing static didn’t sit right with me. It makes Jasper’s shattering seemingly irrelevant and lowers the stakes way too much. How can it be that reversing corruption is harder than literally bringing back the dead? (Pink Zombie powers notwithstanding - it’s probably different with organic creatures.)

THAT SCENE WITH WHITE THO. Good lord. When Fragments first aired a common complaint was that it felt jarring, like it didn’t really belong in the series. However, the possession scene somehow fit right in while still being just as terrifying. I don’t really have much to say about it in the way of interpretation that hasn’t been said already, but I do want to point out how cool it was that Zach could sound like two entirely different people in that scene. He HAS the range.

Everything’s Fine was also good, though I feel it could have been re-timed.

The first half of the episode was excruciating to watch. Not quite as bad as Together Forever, but it went on for far too long and simply belabored its point.

Maybe it’s all the half-corrupted Steven fanart I’ve become very attached to, or my low tolerance for secondhand embarrassment, but I really feel the episode would have benefited from devoting more time to the breakdown/transformation scene at the end and making it more gradual.

But hey, I’m not going to complain about what we got, because that ending was phenomenal. The slow descent into madness, the whole impostor syndrome thing that is all too real for me, the expressions??? The exploding into monster form at the end??? I loved it.

I Am My Monster is easily my least favorite episode of the finale, and probably of the second half of SU:F in general.

The only good parts were the scenes with Connie, and of course the ending (which was probably my favorite part of the finale). The rest felt so sparse and empty, which was even more of a letdown considering the potential it had. That time could have been used in so many interesting ways, but it wasn’t.

I would have loved something from Steven’s perspective, some mindscape stuff, internal monologue (or even dialogue), clarification of what the heck was going on, closure concerning Steven’s nature as a half-Diamond, something! But no, we had to settle for a lackluster kaiju fight and clumsily executed group hug.

Don’t get me wrong, everything happened that needed to happen, and strangely enough nothing felt rushed, but...I’m not satisfied with the way it went down.

As much as I grumble about this episode, I did love how Connie was the one to give him the “healing kiss” (such a sweet scene ;_; ) BUT that didn’t change the fact that the “power of love” thing they were going for was a familial love, not romantic. Infinite thanks for not going the romantic route.

The Future was what really saved the finale for me after the disappointment of IAMM.

I don’t actually mind the timeskip, though I do wonder how in the heck Steven managed to recover from everything. I’m just glad my boy’s okay, and I don’t think I could have emotionally handled seeing what happened in the intervening months.

And I love how understated everything was - he’s not dramatically turning his back on his home, he’s moving out like a normal person, keeping in touch with his loved ones. He’s in a relationship with Connie, he’s got a therapist, and Jasper’s at Little Homeschool. No need to make a big deal out of any of it.

I really feel what Rebecca said about this episode - it’s an ending where Steven, always forced into the limelight, gets to live his life with some privacy.

Parting thoughts:

I’m perfectly fine with the chest in Lion’s mane remaining a mystery, as a metaphor for the secrets of OG SU being revealed. I’m NOT fine with Rose’s portrait remaining in there forever, because it seemed to me at the end of Rose Buds that it was just continuing to repress Steven’s feelings toward Rose and putting off dealing with them.

Speaking of which, we spent all this time watching Steven trying to reconnect with his humanity but NOT reconciling it with his Diamond side. I wish we could have had some scenes where he internalizes that having the powers of a Diamond does not make him a bad person.

I do appreciate that Rose/Pink was barely brought up at all, since the main conflict was no longer related to her. That had been dealt with in the first half of the series, and bringing her in in the finale would not have been appropriate.

Zach Callison Broke Into My House And Smashed A Barrel Over My Head Killing Me Instantly. Seriously, I’ve been watching SU since season 2, and it’s been such a ride hearing him grow as an actor over the course of the series, and you can tell he really put everything into SU:F.

Of course everyone’s obsessing over Zach’s performance but I would also like to commend the whole cast, who did a superb job of bringing the characters to life (particularly Deedee Magno Hall, Shelby Rabara, and Michaela Dietz. Pearl, Peridot, and Amethyst really made the series for me).

I don’t really cry over shows (though Storm in the Room came close) but rewatching the end of CYM after finishing the finale simply ended me. Remember when it seemed like a nice happy wrapping-everything-up kind of ending? Lol.

If you read the whole thing, I applaud your tenacity. Send me your own thoughts, agree, disagree, whatever. Actually please disagree, I would love to hear other takes.

#steven universe #steven universe future #suf finale #long post

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dillydedalus · 5 years

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what i read in july

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT aka i’m finally out of the (relative) reading slump for good & my bro james joyce was there

men explain things to me, rebecca solnit the original mansplaining essay is great, and still scarily relevant; the others in this collection (most on feminist issues) are also quite good; some aspects are a bit dated & problematic so be aware of that. 2.5/5

erschlagt die armen!, shumona sinha (tr. from french, not available in english) short but very impactful novella about a young french woman, originally from india, who works as an interpreter in the asylum system and becomes more & more broken by this system of inhumane bureaucracy and suffering, until she snaps and hits a migrant over the head with a wine bottle. full of alienation and misery and beautiful but disturbing language - the title translates to ‘beat the poor to death’ so like. yeah. 3.5/5

fire & blood: a history of the targaryen family I, george r r martin look, it’s a 700-page-long fake history book about a fictional ruling dynasty in a fictional world, and i’m just That Obsessed & Desperate about asoiaf (and i don’t even care about the targs That Much). anyway, now i know more about the targs than any ruling family from, you know, real history, which is like, whatever. this is pretty enjoyable if you are That Obsessed, although i will say that some bits are much better than others (there are some dry dull years even in everyone’s fav overly dramatic dragon-riding incest-loving family) and the misogyny really is. a lot. too much. way too much. BUT i did really like Good Best Queen Alysanne (her husband king joe harris is alright too i guess) and i found my new westerosi otp, cregan stark/aly blackwood, who both have Big Dick Energy off the fucking charts. 3.5/5 (+0.5 points for cregan and aly’s combined BDE)

the old drift, namwali serpell hugely ambitious sprawling postcolonial nation-building novel about zambia, told thru three generations of three families, as well as a chorus of mosquitoes (consistently the best & smartest parts). there is A LOT going on, in terms of characters, of plot points, of references to history (the zambian space programme) and literature (finally my knowledge of heart of darkness paid off) and thematically, and honestly it was a bit too much, a bit too tangled & fragmented & drifty, and in the end i probably admire this book more than i liked it, but serpell’s writing is incredibly smart and funny and full of electrical sparks 3.5/5

a severed head, iris murdoch the original love dodecahedron (not that i counted). iris murdoch is fucking WILD and i love her for it. this is a strange darkly funny little farce about some rich well-educated londoners and their bizarre & rather convoluted love lives. not as grandiosely wild as the sea the sea, but fun nevertheless. 3/5

midnight in chernobyl, adam higginbotham jumping on the hype bandwagon caused by the hbo series (very weird to call the current fascination with chernobyl a hype bandwagon but you know). interesting & well-written & accessible (tho the science is still totally beyond me) & gets you to care about the people involved. lots of human failure, lots of human greatness, set against the background of the almost eldritch threat of radioactivity (look up the elephant foot & see if you don’t get chills), and acute radiation syndrome which is THE MOST TERRIFYING THING ON EARTH . 3.5/5

normal people, sally rooney honestly this is incredibly engrossing & absorbing once you get used to how rooney completely ignores ‘show don’t tell’ (it works!), i pretty much read the whole thing in one slow workday (boss makes a dollar, i make a dime so i read books on my phone on company time, also i genuinely had nothing to do). i also think rooney is really good at precisely capturing the ~millenial experience in a way that feels very true, especially the transition from school to uni. BUT i really disliked the ending, the book never engages with the political themes it introduces (esp. class and gender) as deeply as it could and the bdsm stuff never really gets TIED UP LOL. so overall idk: 3.5/5

störfall: nachrichten eines tages, christa wolf quiet reflective undramatic little book narrated by a woman waiting to hear about the outcome of her brother’s brain surgery on the day of the catastrophe at chernobyl - throughout the day she puts down her thoughts about her brother and the events unfolding at chernobyl, as well as the double uncertainty she is trying to cope with. really interesting to read such an immediate reaction to chernobyl (the book came out less than a year after chernobyl). 2.5/5

the man in the high castle, philip k dick it was fine? quick & entertaining alternative history where the axis powers win the war, some interesting bits of worldbuilding (like the draining of the mediterranean which was apparently a real idea in the early 20th century?) but overall it’s just felt a bit disjointed & unsatisfying to me. 2.5/5

fugitive pieces, anne michaels very poetic & thoughtful novel about the holocaust, grief, remembrance & the difference between history and memory, intergenerational trauma, love, geology and the weather. i’m not sure how much this comes together as a novel, but it is absolutely beautifully written (the author is a poet as well) and very affective. 3.5/5

american innovations, rivka galchen short collection of bizarre & often funny short stories about neurotic women whose furniture flies away, or who grow an extra breast, or who are maybe too occupied with financial details. very vague & very precise at once, which seems to be the thing with these sort of collections. 3/5

fool’s assassin (fitz & the fool #1), robin hobb YAASS i’m back in the realm of the elderlings!!! i thought this was one of the weaker installments in the series - i still enjoyed it a lot, and Feelings were had, but it just doesn’t quite fit together pacing-wise & some of the characterisation struck me as off (can i get some nuance for shun & lant please?) and tbh fitz is at peak Selfcentred Dumbass Levels & it drove me up the fucking wall. molly, nettle & bee deserve better. still, completely HYPE for the rest of the trilogy. 3.5/5

JAMES JOYCE JULY

note: i decided not to read dubliners bc it’s my least fav of joyce’s major works & too bleak & repetitive for my mood right now AND while i planned not to reread finnegans wake bc……. it’s finnegans wake…. i kinda do want to read it now (but i also. really don’t.) so idk yet.

a portrait of the artist as a young man, james joyce y’all. i read this book at least once a year between the ages of 15 and 19, it’s beyond formative, it is burnt into my brain, and reading it now several years later it is still everything, soaring and searing (that searing clarity of truth, thanks burgess) and poetic and dirty, and stephen is baby, and a pretentious self-important little prick and i love him & i am him (or was him as only a pretentious self-important teenage girl reading joyce can be him - because this truly is a book that should be read in your late teens when you feel everything as intensely and world-endingly and severely as my boy stephen does and every new experience feels like the world changing). anyway i love this book & i love stephen dedalus, bird-like, hawk-like, knife-blade, aloof, alienated, severe and stern, a poet-priest-prophet if he could ever get over himself, baby baby baby. 5/5

exiles, james joyce well. there’s a reason joyce is known as a novelist. this is….. a failed experiment, maybe. a fairly boring play about an adulterous love-square and uh… love beyond morality and possession maybe??? about how much it would suck for joyce to return to ireland??? and tbh it’s not terribly interesting. 2/5

travesties, tom stoppard a wild funny irreverent & smart antic comedy inspired by the fact that during ww1, james joyce, lenin, and dadaist tristan tzara were all in neutral zurich, more or less simultaneously; they probably never met, but in this play they do, as dadaist poetry, socialist art critique, and a james joyce high on his own genius & in desperate need of some cash while writing ulysses, AND the importance of being earnest (joyce is putting on a production of it) all collide in the memories of henry carr, who played algernon & later sued joyce over money (tru facts). not my fav stoppard (that’s arcadia) but it’s funny & fizzy & smart & combines many many things that i love. 4/5

ulysses, james joyce look i’m not really going to tell y’all anything new about ulysses, but it really has everything, it’s warm & human(e) & cerebral & difficult & funny & sad & healing & i always get a lot out of it even tho there’s bits (a lot of them) i’ll never wrap my head around. ultimate affirmation of humanity or whatever. also stephen dedalus is baby. 5/5

dedalus, chris mccabe the fact that this book (sequel to ulysses about what stephen dedalus might have done the next day) exists and was published ON MY BIRTHDAY is proof that the universe loves me.

anyway this is very very good, very very clever, extremely good at stephen (less good at bloom but his parts are still good), engages w/ ulysses, portrait & hamlet (& others) very cleverly & does some cool meta and experimental shit. y’all it has stephen talking to a contemporary therapist about how he’s stuck in joyce’s text which is all about joyce & very little about whoever stephen is when he’s not joyce’s alter ego/affectionate but slightly amused look at younger self and ithaca is an interview w/ the author about how his relationship to his dad influenced his response to ulysses and I’M INTO IT. the oxen of the sun chapter replaces the whole ‘gestation of english prose’ w/ just slightly rewriting the first pages of about 10 novels published between ulysses and now & it does lolita w/ “bloom, thorn of stephen’s sleep, light in his eyes. his sire, his son’ and i lit. screamed. anyway i don’t want to give this 5 stars (yet) bc i think some of the experimental stuff ended up a bit gimmicky & didn’t add that much to the text but fuck. that’s my boy & i want to reread it right now. 4.5/5 ALSO it’s a crime no literary weirdo woman has written ‘a portrait of the artist’s sister’ about delia ‘dilly’ dedalus, shadow of stephen’s mind, quick far & daring, teaching herself french from a 3rd hand primer while her father drinks the nonexistent family fortune away and her older brother is getting drunk on a beach & starting fights w/ soldiers bc he’s a smartarse

#the books i read #long post

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jamaalw · 4 years

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My Experiences With Sleep Paralysis Demonic Attacks And The Spiritual War We Are All In

What is Sleep Paralysis?

Many of you reading this probably have experienced it at least once in your lifetime or know someone who has experienced it. You wake up suddenly from sleep and you try to move but can’t no matter how much you exert yourself. You may manage to slightly move your toes or some other body part but it is a struggle and you still can’t move your entire body. This can go on for a few seconds or minutes but at times it can feel like an eternity. During an episode, you may perceive an evil, malicious presence. You may feel utter dread. You may also have actually seen a shadow person or a shadow person wearing a hat or some other evil, demonic-looking entity. You may have experienced some entity sitting on your chest or had an episode accompanied by an entity doing sexual things to your body. Some people have reported having someone’s hands over their neck choking them; others have had heard mocking laughter during an episode.

Lately, it has received more mainstream attention with a recent Netflix documentary and with so-called celebrity Kendall Jenner mentioning it. The phenomenon is called Sleep Paralysis. If you haven’t experienced it I can imagine the difficulty of trying to understand what it is like to experience it. Verily, it can be one of the most frightening experiences for a person and it feels very real to the experiencer.

Is it a spiritual attack or does science have a credible explanation for it?

The Christian website GotQuestion.Org always seems to come up on a Google search when you ask a question related to Christianity. Sadly, they deny sleep paralysis is a spiritual phenomenon:

….there is an entirely physiological explanation for the phenomenon known as sleep paralysis. As we fall asleep, our minds may enter a hypnagogic state. It’s what happens when the sleeper’s still-aware mind is faced with dream images. As some people wake up, they experience a hypnopompic state, which is the dreaming mind faced with stimuli from the real world. In both cases, the dreams can seem very real, taking on a vivid, hallucinatory feeling. Often these images are of black smudges, which the confused mind interprets as human figures, sometimes called “shadow people.” The hallucinations can also take the form of sounds like a loud bang or a child’s cry. These episodes frequently begin with a falling feeling followed by a “hypnic jerk” where the body’s muscles violently contract…..

Muscle paralysis in sleep is a necessary thing. People who act out their dreams on a regular basis are prone to accidental injury—even jumping out of windows. Knowing that you’re asleep and paralyzed, however, can be frightening. You tell yourself to open your eyes, just to get caught in another false awakening. One theory is that sleep paralysis affects the larger parts of the body more completely. You can try to wake up by wiggling your toes or fingers. It’s also possible to pray during this time. This will often give comfort that lets you fall back into unconsciousness. You may be able to avoid sleep paralysis by getting sufficient rest and avoiding drugs and alcohol.

In probably the vast majority of cases, sleep paralysis is just a quirk in a person’s REM cycle, not a spiritual attack.

Source

Huh, really? I have read statistics or studies that show many Christians actually don’t believe in a real, tangible devil exists. What an utter joke. Satan and his angels must be laughing their butts off at such professing Christians as it is a much more effective way for the enemy to attack and operate. It is apparent in the Bible satan and his demons are presented as real entities.

Guys, sleep paralysis is totally a demonic attack! I am 100% certain that it is. It’s not a hallucination like the secular scientists or even some self-proclaimed Christians try to rationalize it. It’s a disservice to many people looking for answers and solutions who happen to go on that site to read such nonsense. Scientists try to explain it away by saying sleep paralysis is merely the brain delaying to alert the body to wake up – our brains shut down our body so it won’t act out while we are dreaming. But just think about it, if it was merely a hallucination then how come people don’t see Mickey Mouse or Hello Kitty or Super Mario? Or how come people don’t report seeing a very beautiful woman or a handsome man? There are a zillion things a person can hallucinate but instead, it is something almost always sinister such as a shadow humanoid figure or aliens. And if you don’t know the “aliens” people have reported seeing come from the same source. More on that later.

If it was merely a hallucination then why do just about all cultures throughout the world associate it with a spiritual attack? This phenomenon is worldwide and not just a modern western phenomenon.

In China, it is known as guǐ yā chuáng which literally means “ghost pressing on body.” In Korean culture, it is called gawi nulim which means “being pressed down by something scary in a dream”. In Thailand, it is called Phi Am and believed to be caused by a ghost and can even inflict bruises. In Hmong culture, sleep paralysis is understood to be caused by a nocturnal pressing spirit, dab tsog. Dab tsog attacks “sleepers” by sitting on their chests, sometimes attempting to strangle them. Some believe that dab tsog is responsible for sudden unexpected nocturnal death syndrome (SUNDS). In Vietnamese culture, sleep paralysis is called ma đè, meaning “held down by a ghost,” or bóng đè, meaning “held down by a shadow.”

There are more examples. In Arabic culture, it is referred to as Ja-thoom which literally means “what sits heavily on something.” In southeast Africa, it is known as jinamizi which means “strangled by jinn.” In Pakistan, sleep paralysis is considered an encounter with Shaitan (satan), evil jinns or demons who have taken over one’s body. In Turkish culture, sleep paralysis is often referred to as karabasan (“the dark presser/assailer”). It is believed to be a creature that attacks people in their sleep, pressing on their chest and stealing their breath. However, folk legends do not provide a reason why the devil or ifrit does that. In Persian culture it is known as bakhtak, which is a ghost-like creature that sits on the dreamer’s chest, making breathing hard for them.

In Kurdish culture, sleep paralysis is often referred to as motakka. It is believed to be a demon that attacks people in their sleep, and particularly children of young age, and steals their breath away as they breathe heavily and keeps it out of reach. In Nigeria, it is called “the devil on your back”. In Mexico, it is believed that it is the spirit of a dead person they call it “subirse el muerto.” In Greece and Cyprus, it is believed that sleep paralysis occurs when a ghost-like creature or Demon named Mora, Vrahnas or Varypnas tries to steal the victim’s speech or sits on the victim’s chest causing asphyxiation. In many parts of the Southern United States, the phenomenon is known as a hag or “witch riding,” and the event is said to portend an approaching tragedy or accident.

My Sleep Paralysis Experiences

I will try to explain my experiences the best way I can for it is difficult to articulate spiritual experiences. Also, a lot of my experiences occurred over a span of several years so my retelling of it may be disjointed or lack cohesiveness because it all seems like a blur to me now. My apologies.

I have had sleep paralysis since I was a teenager. I think my first memory of sleep paralysis was when I went to visit my grandparents’ house in Panama in Central America. I remember I woke up paralyzed and saw flashes of light all throughout the room and it made a strange noise while it was happening. Very bizarre experience to say the least. Part of me knew it was demonic or aliens were literally trying to abduct me but another part of me didn’t know what in the world was going on.

During my teenage years, I remember I had an experience when during sleep paralysis an “alien” would act like it would be implanting something into my ear. Satan’s kingdom knew I was questioning the existence of aliens at that time and tried to use it to ruin my faith in God. I remember expecting my physician to find something inside of my ear using an otoscope but nothing would be found. I thought it was weird but I didn’t make the connection that it was really demons messing with me until I realized that aliens were really just demons masquerading.

A lot of times after a sleep paralysis attacked I would be utterly baffled about what just happened. It was until I did research on the internet I found out it was a phenomenon that a lot of people have experienced so much so it even had a name: sleep paralysis. To my surprise, I discovered it’s a common occurrence. I read testimonies online where people experienced things similar to what I experienced, especially the old hag attack. I don’t think I will ever forget this experience where I woke up with what I perceived to be a witch sitting on my chest trying to choke me to death. Even after I broke out of the paralysis I could perceive the witch flying around my room in circles.

Then about About 5 years ago, the sleep paralysis attacked reached a crescendo – meaning it ramped up in frequency and intensity. This fiery trial or ordeal went on for a period of about 4+ years. I believe it was because I repented of all my sins and totally recommitted and gave my whole life to the Lord and God Jesus Christ. I remember when I turned back to God I felt the Holy Spirit strong in me again. I was pretty shocked that God would forgive me of my sins because I have done a lot of wickedness in God’s eyes. I actually thought everything from that point on things were going to be smooth sailing in regards to my walk with my God. Little did I know the enemy was right there ready to retaliate and try to hinder my walk. It was like he pointed his infrared beam on me ready to take me out. From that point on all hell broke loose against me. Soon after I felt a threatening, evil entity stalking me but initially, I would try to dismiss it as my mind just imagining things. It felt like it desired worship from me. I know, strange. But considering satan desired worship from Jesus in retrospect it makes sense one of his angels wanted worship from me. I remember soon after I took a nap and then it happened: the sleep paralysis attack. I woke up unable to move my body and no matter how much effort I exerted I couldn’t manage to move. I felt this dark, sinister shadow envelope my being. I thought in my head “I am a dead man”. I knew this thing was going to kill me right then and there. But as it was about to “swallow me up” completely I thought in my head “Ah, don’t worry I have Jesus,” then immediately the darkness lifted off of me. Most people would probably be freaked out by it. But I was more rejoicing in the fact that I trusted Jesus even to the point of death.

You thought that was strange it gets stranger. I remember the next day or several days later I took a nap and again I experienced sleep paralysis. I barely closed my eyes to take a nap and I woke up hearing a static noise one would hear on a TV on channel 3. I broke out of the paralysis and I thought it was weird because my TV wasn’t on. I thought perhaps my brain is malfunctioning. I went back to take a nap and I barely closed my eyes then it happened again, the sleep paralysis with the same TV static sound but this time one of the most bizarre experiences I ever had (and I have had a lot of them) occurred. An evil spirit tried to enter my body through my chest while I was in paralysis. One may ask how do I know it was an evil spirit? Because it felt like the dirtiest, most unclean, evil, wicked thing. Now I know why Jesus called some spirits unclean when He expelled demons out of people. In Mark ch. 5, Jesus met a demoniac and Jesus said: “Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.” That’s what it exactly felt like. Very, very, very unclean. I felt all yucky and disgusted as if when you see someone covered with bugs. When it tried to enter my body I “read” its thoughts or “inner voice”. It had an animal-like snarl I have never heard before and I knew the type of spirit it was. It was a spirit behind a sin that had a stronghold over my life for many years that I repented for and overcame. I knew the assignment the spirit had on me. I resisted the spirit and it left.

Afterward, I naturally got up out of my bed stunned, shocked, and disoriented. I then got out of my house and went to the gym. I walked around like I just went through trauma and as I was walking through the gym I literally wanted to scream out “the devil is real, repent and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.” I can kind of chuckle about it thinking back but it was a very serious situation for me at that time.

From that point on I had sleep paralysis attacks every night and even multiple times a night for a long time. A lot of times I wouldn’t even sleep, I would just barely close my eyes and I would have a sleep paralysis attack. God allowed me to actually see into the spirit realm. I can recall one time where I was about to go to sleep I “saw” in the spirit realm a demon running at a very fast speed to my bedroom. I saw in the spirit realm that it stuck its head through the wall to scope me out. It was preparing to attack me because it knew I was about to go asleep.

During this period with my many experiences with sleep paralysis, I had a particular demon harass me. Even when I wasn’t sleeping I would perceive it was in my room and I would feel the most intense hatred and evil emanating from it. At times I couldn’t even stand it to be in my presence. The best way I can describe it is when you are standing in front of a very hot open oven and you want to close the door or walk away to get away from the heat. Same idea with this demon but instead of the intense heat it was intense evil, hatred, and ugliness emanating from it. I would tell it to leave in the name of Jesus Christ but it would continuously return. I resorted to fasting against this evil spirit in the name of Jesus. In Mark 9:29 and Matthew 17:21 Jesus said some spirits will not come out unless you pray and fast. This spirit wasn’t in my body but attacking me externally but I thought it was a worth a try to fast. I had nothing to lose to give it a try, right? This is when I first started getting into fasting so I really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t eat for about 4-5 days and I just said a simple short prayer to Jesus to have this fast be against that spirit. The day I ended my fast the spirit entered my bedroom to confront me and I felt the most intense anger and rage coming from the spirit. The atmosphere in the room was so thick with evil and anger that you can cut it with a butter knife. Then I perceived this evil spirit communicating to me saying angrily “why did you fast against me?” I was like “wow, so you hate fasting so then I am going to keep doing it then.” I incorporated fasting as part of my spiritual warfare arsenal. Eventually, the spirit left but the sleep paralysis attacks continued. I believe there are hosts of evil spirits assigned to Christians.

I also experienced demons literally hold me down while paralyzed. I can feel their actual hands on my body holding me down. I had experienced a demon trying to pierce me with something very sharp while in sleep paralysis. I once experienced demon or demons trying to pull me out of my body while in sleep paralysis. Even when I wasn’t asleep demons would show up. My heart would start racing and you would feel the most utter oppression, dread, fear, and evil in the atmosphere and I would feel this entity wanting to literally kill me right then and there.

I can recall a demon that entered my room while I was asleep and somehow managed to show up in my dream. The dream was pretty random but it involved music and I heard someone in the dream say to me “dance.” I said assertively “no, I only dance for Jesus!” Immediately I woke up in a sleep paralysis state. Apparently, the demon got angry I proclaimed my loyalty to Lord Jesus and retaliated.

One time I fasted for several weeks petitioning something from the Lord. After several weeks when I prayed I felt oil dripping down my head. I had a sleep paralysis attack where a demon actually took out a vacuum to try to suck it up. I know, weird.

There were times that sleep paralysis attacks would happen so frequently that I would think in my head before it happens “and here we go again.” But one night I did something differently and prayed to Jesus to send an angel to protect me. I saw in the spirit an angel standing outside my bedroom window and I didn’t get attacked that night. I never asked because I would think “who am I to ask God to send an angel on my behalf?” Thanks be to God that He would dispatch an angel for believers especially if you ask.

I can recall one night when I woke up from a dead sleep and I perceived a demon in my closet peeking at me (perhaps preparing to attack me with sleep paralysis?). And it was my inner voice rebuking it in my head but it wasn’t me who was doing it (I believe it was the Holy Spirit in me doing it). Then the demon flew right past my head as it fled. Strange.

As a person who refrains from any sexual activity (which includes masturbation) as every Christian should be doing if he or she is not married, the enemy knows at times I get tempted. I would have sleep paralysis attacks where demons would hold my body down (and I could actually feel their hands holding me down) and try to sexually stimulate my private parts. This has actually happened to me many times. It is very invasive and violating to go through this. I believe the enemy has demons observing every Christian and they study the person plotting to snare the person into sin. The enemy knows lust is one of my weaknesses.

I can recall one time after a long time of prayer I accidentally fell asleep at a park in my car where a Mormon church (which is a cult) was located nearby. I don’t know if there was a connection with the Mormon church but a dark cloud that came from the direction the church was located came over me and I was paralyzed and I tried with all my strength to scream “Jesus help me” then it lifted off me.

It didn’t matter where I slept. If I slept in the car I got sleep paralysis. If I slept at work during my break it would happen. I have had multiple people living in the same house and no one else experiences what I experience. Just about all the time I can feel or perceive the entity approaching me when I am lying down in my bed as if it is waiting for me to fall asleep to attack me.

Why did this happen to me so frequently? I believe I became a target because I turned back to God. Satan goes for the true born again Christians – those who truly seek God’s kingdom and His righteousness and to follow Jesus because they are a threat to satan’s kingdom.

By the way, not one time I was horrified or scared throughout this whole ordeal. To tell the truth I was more fascinated than anything else. It can be really mind-boggling to know with 100% certainty that demons exist. For a lot of people, it’s difficult for the natural mind to accept there are spiritual entities. But after the fascination wore off and I developed a strong hatred against them and even more determined to cling on to God and do more for His kingdom.

Possible Door Openers to the Enemy And Solutions

You may ask why does sleep paralysis happens to some and not others? I believe there are several primary reasons why it routinely happens to some people. With my experience and observation with deliverance – that is, casting demons out of people – when you practice sin you break the hedge of protection that God has around you and you unwittingly opened the passage for the enemy to come on in and attack you. I believe there are other ways that hedge protection can be broken such as your parents practicing witchcraft or occult or being involved with a person who practices such abominations.

I think stepping into the enemy’s territory can open doors. I remember one time I reluctantly went to a nightclub with a couple of friends and that same night when I went to sleep I had sleep paralysis and I perceived demons hovering above me going around in circles. Several months ago I went with a friend as he gave me a tour of some bars he frequented. I was just curious to see what it was like inside and despite not even drinking or anything of that nature that same night I got attacked.

The enemy hates when a Christian has a strong, consistent prayer life. I would tend to receive retaliation through sleep paralysis after I have engaged in heavy prayer. So it is possible that you are not necessarily doing anything wrong at all but you are just high on the enemy’s hit list because you are heavily engaged in spiritual warfare (whether it is through praying incessantly and fervently, fasting, evangelizing, etc.).

Apparently, the medical establishment has no solution for sleep paralysis because it is fundamentally a spiritual problem. The solution is to repent of your sins and give your life to the Lord and God Jesus Christ. The list of sins can include masturbation, porn watching and any other sexual immorality which is running rampant in the U.S. New Age or eastern mysticism practices can also open doorways. Not too many people are stupid enough to open doorways to the enemy by practicing satanism so the devil deceives people to open doorways through New Age spirituality or eastern mysticism. At the root of the New Age is self-centeredness. The originator of the modern New Age movement comes from Madame Blavatsky (Hitler was a fan of her) who admitted Lucifer was her god. If you are practicing meditation, black or white magic, astral projection, energy crystals, tarot cards, reiki, seeing a psychic, a palm reader or watching horror movies please repent and renounce it in the name of Jesus Christ.

Having certain objects can have demonic attachments such as ouija boards, dream catchers, idols (which can include Buddhist, Hindu, or Islamic related objects), etc. If you have such objects get rid of it as soon as possible. Get rid of any ungodly objects in your home, period. Please repent and renounce it in the name of Jesus Christ.

Here is a list of things you may be practicing or have they may be opening up doors to the enemy [Click here].

There could be generational curses. If your ancestors were involved with the occult, shamanism, witchcraft, New Age practices, etc. it could leave you vulnerable to sleep paralysis. You can try breaking those curses in the name of Jesus Christ.

If you still happen to be under attack during an episode you can even call upon Jesus Christ even in your mind during an episode (yes, God knows all of your thoughts, He is God after all). God hears when anyone calls out to Him especially in urgency and in faith.

I have played an audio Bible (you can find many uploaded on Youtube) while sleeping to prevent attacks. The Bible reads God’s word is like a two-edged sword (Heb. 4:12), like fire, and a hammer (Jer. 23:39). The enemy hates to hear the word of God. This is what I know for certain from my experience with praying for deliverance for people. I have actually heard demons scream out of the mouth of a person when reading scripture.

Just know Jesus Christ is infinitely more powerful than the devil and his minions. In fact, when Jesus was walking on the earth about 2,000 years ago demons were terrified of Him and would cry out not to send them to hell. In Luke 4:34 it reads “Saying, Let us alone; what have we to do with thee, thou Jesus of Nazareth? art thou come to destroy us? I know thee who thou art; the Holy One of God.” And in Matthew 8:29 it reads “And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?”

The Spiritual War We Are All In

If you are a believer the devil doesn’t want you to know Jesus said in Luke 10:19 “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you…“. Did you catch that? He gives AUTHORITY OVER ALL THE POWER OF THE ENEMY.

The enemy uses intimidation through deception. He’s not so scary if you have Jesus Christ and stand on His word. The enemy is not as strong as he presents himself to be. If he was so powerful then all of us would be killed right now. God has the enemy on a leash. He can only do what God allows him to do. The reason most people are not killed during a sleep paralysis attack is that God’s protective hand preventing the enemy from doing so. Remember Job? Satan could only do to Job what God allowed him to.

When I was going through my ordeal or fiery trial I visited numerous churches and told them about my problem and sadly they didn’t know what to say or do. Most Christians have no clue about spiritual warfare which is sad because they should be the ones who should have the remedy for spiritual issues, as Christians are the ones with the truth. The vast majority of Christians are what I call religious or nominal Christians – they never repented of their sins and denied themselves, fast, give up the vain things of the world, etc. for Lord Jesus. They are not a viable threat to satan’s kingdom. It seems like satan has done a number on a lot of Christian churches in America. It’s really too bad many of our churches are so filled with nonsensical, watered-down messages. Many Christians don’t have discernment and thus are blind to the seriousness of the war we are all in. The whole world is in darkness and in bondage to satan. There is a worldwide spiritual war going on for the souls of multitudes and yet the church is not equipped to address it or even acknowledge it.

I felt alone when I went through the fiery trials but I looked up and found other Christians online who went through something similar I went through so I know I wasn’t going crazy. By God’s grace, I was able to overcome the fiery trials. Thank be to God.

Whether you believe it or not we are born into a world with a spiritual dimension. The Bible reads in Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Basically, for satan and his demons, their mission is to kill, steal, destroy and deceive and ultimately drag you to the lake of fire where he is sentenced to go in the future. The Bible reads satan is the god (lowercase “g”) of this age (2 Cor. 4:4). He is called the prince of the power of the air and the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience (Eph. 2:2). Jesus called satan the ruler of the world (John 12:31; 14:30). Indeed the Bible reads the whole world lies in the power of the wicked one (1 John 5:19). The fact satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the world if Jesus worshipped him testifies satan really is the ruler of this world. Jesus never denied he owned the kingdoms. The gall of the devil to tempt the Creator to worship him!

I really hope skeptics or unbelievers in Christ realize there really is a real spiritual realm. I can’t emphasize it enough there is a spiritual battle going on for your soul. Satan’s job is to keep you to repent from your sins and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ so you won’t be sealed with the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of Truth.

To all those who are skeptical you are going to have to deal with the fact your favorite musicians or actor believes in the spirit realm. Elvis Presley, Beyonce, Jay Z, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Oprah Winfrey, Denzel Washington, etc. They all admit to channeling spirits [Watch Demonic Spirit Channeling By Pop “Musicians” Exposed & The Spirit Behind Hollywood Exposed (Channeling, Possession, and Satanism)].

It is crazy we were dumped into satan’s kingdom – born into darkness – a world filled with deception and lies. But there is hope! A Savior, a Person – satan has nothing in Him. A Person who overcame the world. The Light of the world. Jesus Christ of Nazareth. When He returns He’s going to put an end to satan’s kingdom. In Revelation, it reads he gets thrown into the abyss and then ultimately into the lake of fire. So there will be no more sleep paralysis or any kind of demonic attacks then! Jesus’ kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom that will come to no end (Daniel 2:44). All of this should make you reevaluate your life if you’re not a believer. Who or what are you living for? Is there really a heaven and a hell?

There is a pull on the whole world by satan to do evil and to reject the real Jesus Christ of the Bible (I say the real Jesus Christ because many people have a false Jesus that can’t save). He’s not the Muslim Jesus who is merely a prophet and never died on a cross for the sins of the world. He’s not the Mormon Jesus who is the spirit brother of lucifer. He’s not the Jehovah’s Witness Jesus who is the archangel Michael. He is not the New Age Jesus who is a mere man who attained spiritual enlightenment through occult means. The real Jesus Christ is God manifested in the flesh (John 1:1;14, Col. 2:9)!

In God’s Kingdom when a sinner repents and turns to the Lord and God Jesus Christ the angels in heaven actually rejoice over that one sinner according to Jesus. God actually grieves because of our sins. In Genesis ch. 6 it reads “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.” So I can easily imagine God being broken-hearted when someone refuses to turn to Him (also read Ezekiel 6:9).

But on the opposite end, there is satan’s kingdom and I have no doubt satan rejoices when a sinner dies in his sin. Satan is like that guy at a pool party who is about to fall inside the pool and tries to hold onto other people to drag them down with him. Indeed, satan is trying to drag everybody down with him to the lake of fire. But I believe satan gets furious when a sinner repents and turns to Jesus for salvation because he lost someone he once held captive. In Luke 4:18 it reads: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”

All of us without Jesus are actually prisoners of the devil. In fact, we are all spiritually dead unto God until we are born again by the power of the Holy Spirit. Then we are reconciled to God.

Only by the power of Jesus can those shackles and prison bars be broken. I have never witnessed anything but the power of God that can deliver anyone from drug, alcohol or sex addictions.

When a person turns to Jesus the person actually has their name in the Lamb’s Book of Life (Revelation 3:5). Is your name written there?

If you need someone to talk to about your sleep paralysis issue or need prayer please feel free to reach out to me. Also, feel free to share your experiences with sleep paralysis in the comment section.

Have a good, peaceful sleep in the name of Jesus 🙂

“I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.” – Psalms 4:8

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