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anghraine · 3 years

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Based on your family trees, who is Darcy close to, on both sides of his family?

Okay, it is very cool to be asked—thank you, anon. And I needed a break from exam stress, so ... here we go with the Fitzwilliams. I’ll do a separate one for the Darcys.

The short version: Colonel Fitzwilliam, Lord Rochford, Lady Mary, and Lord Ravenshaw.

The long and rambly version:

In general: this is the side Darcy is closer to overall, partly because his mother was very close to her siblings and tended to pull his father in her wake (they didn’t marry for love and their relationship was never really romantic, but they always had a sense of partnership and were generally on good terms, and Mr Darcy was happy enough to go along with his more strong-willed wife in most matters).

Additionally, Mr Darcy took a particular interest in the Fitzwilliam children, esp not-yet-Colonel Fitzwilliam, who a) combined the kind of outgoing charm that I imagine Mr Darcy (somewhat guiltily) preferred with intelligence and decorum and b) was close to the young Darcy in age and just the kind of friend and peer that Darcy needed.

Additionally, though, Darcy gets on with them so well because he personally likes and respects them and knows they like and respect him, without flattery on either side. And it’s important to them—esp since he was so young when his parents died—that he feels he belongs among them and is a valuable connection for them.

In particular: he’s closest to Colonel Fitzwilliam—on terms of “constant intimacy” as he says in his letter to Elizabeth. Fitzwilliam is the kind of person he’s drawn to: very different in temperament but with similar values and a quality of character he respects, and I think that with Fitzwilliam especially (and later Elizabeth) there’s an underlying similarity in intelligence, resolve, forcefulness etc that isn’t always present in his other relationships, and that this is part of the reason they’re so close.

He has a more complex relationship with Lord Rochford, Fitzwilliam’s older brother. They’re certainly not as close, partly because of the age difference, but partly because they’re more temperamentally similar—reserved, awkward, bookish—in ways that don’t clash, but don’t click in the same way. At the same time, they understand each other in a way that they feel other people don’t. Rochford is more reserved and struggles more with people and expression than Darcy, but Darcy certainly struggles enough to get it, and Rochford (who feels deeply unsatisfactory) is genuinely reassured and validated to have someone else like him in the family.

They can pass long stretches of time together in contented silence, or carry on extremely long conversations on very specific issues that would bore other people. I think Darcy’s sympathy with Rochford makes him vaguely protective of him, despite being some seven years younger.

He has a simpler relationship with Rochford and Fitzwilliam’s sister Mary. She falls somewhere between the brothers in both age and personality, so she’s more easy-going than Rochford, and makes for a more comfortable older-sibling-ish figure than either Rochford or her sister Anne (Darcy will always be something of a kid brother as far as Mary’s concerned). But she has more of a sense of dignity and strict propriety than Fitzwilliam, which leads Mary and Darcy to strongly approve of each other. She has a sort of thoughtful, disciplined intelligence that makes her one of the truly accomplished women that he was thinking of at Netherfield.

They like and respect each other, and enjoy spending time together when the circumstance arises. She’s probably the woman he felt on the most equal terms with before Elizabeth, though never in a romantic sense (he and Mary would both be ‘ugh no’ at that).

Intergenerationally, he’s probably closer to Lord Ravenshaw, his uncle, than to any other member of the senior generation. Ravenshaw has always heartily approved of him, valued him, and liked him, which made a particularly strong impression on Darcy as a child, who was building up a shell of ‘other people don’t get me and everyone likes George more but I’m BETTER and SMARTER and MORE IMPORTANT’. Ravenshaw was like ... yes, you are better than other people! You’re going to be a great man and I’m proud to have such an intelligent, principled, dignified person in the family.

This was not necessarily good for Darcy, but it was extremely validating, esp given my headcanon in the tags here. Ravenshaw has made it sometimes uncomfortably clear that he sees Darcy as the most satisfactory member of the family (and is totally thrown for a loop by Darcy’s sudden engagement to a non-Fitzwilliam-approved girl). When Darcy talks about his sense of family obstacles to marrying Elizabeth that he’s been struggling with, it’s mainly Ravenshaw that he’s thinking of.

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info-copa · 5 years

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Woman Who Walks on the Water in the Mist

Jeanne Hebert is Woman Who Walks on the Water in the Mist, an Anishinabkwe Wisdom Keeper, and a precious COPA ally. She has been an important advisor and collaborator for the toolkits we created with the aim of supporting the success and well-being of Indigenous students and their families in Ontario. She has also been on the Advisory Council of the Circle Widens project, and as the project winds to a close, I wanted to chat with Jeanne about the project and about her work with COPA. We spoke about that and much more.

Jeanne's grandparents were both survivors of residential schools. They had 9 children, and Jeanne and her mother lived with them when she was growing up. Despite the effects of the trauma her grandparents lived with, and her grandfather's alcoholism, Jeanne says that as a child she always felt well cared for. But when she went to school, she experienced with a shock the full effects of colonization.

In our series of short films of Leaders Speak from the Heart, Jeanne tells us about an incident that occurred in school when she was 7 years old, a story about a marble bag and how her innocence was suddenly and painfully taken away. It is a moving illustration of the impact of racist bullying and discrimination, and the long term effect it has on children who have no advocate, no support, and whose voices are not heard. Everywhere that COPA has traveled in the course of the Circle Widens project, we have heard the painful stories of racist bullying past and present, and the ongoing impact of it on Indigenous children, families, and communities. So it is not surprising that the marble bag story still has an impact on Jeanne. When she tells it, the tears continue to come - even today when she is in her 60's. But with the tears, she says, comes the healing as well.

Jeanne says that what COPA has done is to create an advocate for the children who are being bullied.

vimeo

After this rough introduction to life outside the protective circle of her family, Jeanne's sisters were the ones who first taught her about her traditions. It was thus that her journey of healing and understanding began. The legacy of the discrimination she has lived with during her life she says is one of resilience. I would like to add as well that the joy emanating from her words and her voice as we speak, is palpable. She is inspiring. She says she has learned that you just have to keep going and be a good human being. She says: ''We will create the change we want to see''. Jeanne is a Knowledge Keeper, a Wisdom Keeper, but does not call herself an Elder, because she says that this is a title that is given to one only by others.

Jeanne was a banker for 30 years! And THEN - she decided she wanted to work with other people, so she made a big change. She called it a middle life change and the western doorway, a sacred direction on the Ojibwe medicine Wheel. ''The western direction is the adult stage, the berry stage. It is here that the growth from summer has come to ripen. It is the time of harvest, and so for much of creation the physical journey is over, and that life crosses back into the spirit world'' (Lillian Pitawanakwat)

In her passage through the western doorway, Jeanne quit banking and became a social worker. She worked for many years as an Indigenous patient navigator at the De dwa da dehs nye>s Aboriginal Health Centre in Hamilton, and retired last year - or tried to. Instead, she began to volunteer at the Niagara detention centre - sometimes 2-3 X week, and was even offered a job as a NILO - Native Inmate Liaison Officer. She also took on a role at Loyalist College teaching social worker practitioners how to provide Indigenous informed social work. What a rich sharing of her wisdom and energy in retirement!

And she has continued to be a good friend to COPA in the meantime. In fact, Jeanne has spent 5 years collaborating with us! She describes encountering COPA as ''love at first sight'', and says that when she first met us, she looked right into Mohini's (Mohini Athia) eyes and knew that '' whatever she is doing is GOOD!!''. As time went on, her hunch was validated, and she discovered that she loved the way COPA worked. As Jeanne says, it is all about the connection between people. As we developed our toolkits for Indigenous families and communities, we collaborated, consulted, and communicated with everyone, all the time - ensuring that what we were creating arose from their needs, and was relevant and transferable to all the communities for which it was intended. And because of this close grassroots collaboration, it includes and represents the voices and concerns of families, kids, and community.

Members of the Capsule Family

During our conversation, Jeanne reflected on the process of developing the COPA toolkits, and we spoke a bit about the Capsule Family characters that are featured in the short films included in both toolkits. She remembers there being a lot of discussion about them at the time we were starting to work on them, some of the comments being in the vein of: ''they are not like our people''. Well, Jeanne says, ''yes they are - because our people come in many shapes and colours''. Using the Capsule Family characters makes it more inclusive for ALL kids, she says - and that is what's important. It creates a space for kids to self-identify, and so the characters needed to be done in such a way that EVERYONE could relate to them.

COPA's focus on Indigenous languages in the toolkits is important because as she says, ''language is everything - the language is our culture, our ways of knowing, and our rituals''. She feels the resources are not just helping families, but communities and nations too. The kits feature films in a total of 7 Indigenous languages, and a language tool as well.

But when A Circle of Caring went out to families and kids, Jeanne says ''the most fun part was going out into communities to present it and get feedback - I loved it! Everyone loved it! The drum box and the booklets were big hits. The drum box was not just packaging - it was very symbolic. Everything in our culture is symbolic, and that was a tangible symbol to give out to kids and families''.

Jeanne feels that the short films in the toolkits have impacted kids and families in a very good way. She likes how short they are because they go straight to the subject; showing an issue, a challenge AND a solution, in one or two minutes. They present important themes with kindness, dignity, humanity and a little bit of fun too. She feels that repeating the Circle at the beginning of every film is important, as it promotes the opportunity to discuss, and encourages conversation in a circle - where deeper ideas can be learned and communicated.

Based on the success of A Circle of Caring, COPA was asked to produce a toolkit specifically for educators. And so the second project Jeanne and COPA worked on together was Joining the Circle, which was designed to empower educators with resources to Indigenize and decolonize the classroom and to support the success of Indigenous students. In Jeanne's words: ''Educators have a BIG role, and are mentors and knowledge keepers. They have to be able to speak with parents and kids about the impact words have. “You are worth it!” should be the message they share with every child. In our schools, the teacher's role should be to share Indigenous knowledge, and with truth and reconciliation, more resources need to be available!''

Circles and squares

Jeanne says that living under colonization is like being in a square, and that when you are not thinking in a circle, you have to decolonize more. The circle itself is decolonizing, and it collects allies and continues to grow. It represents new ideas, and an Indigenous perspective - a circle of people of ''good mind''. The way she sees it - the circle is becoming bigger and bigger and bigger, including more and more people all the time. She describes COPA as circle people and feels that this is why the toolkits are such a beautiful resource.

''When we show them the toolkits and films, adults start to talk about their own experiences of bullying, and it highlights how we lose ourselves through discrimination and racist bullying''. Tools like this, she says help to awaken Indigenous languages and ways of being. When you are an Indigenous person looking for self - language reconnects you to traditional ways of knowing, she says. This is the beauty of it. ''You have to know who you are - in this awakening, we must go deeper, into the blood memory. We come with all these teachings within us, and we only lose our sense of self because of colonization. But when we start to remember - it is like peeling an onion back. ONCE YOU ARE AWARE AND FIND VISION, YOU ARE NEVER NOT AWARE. Once the awakening of spirit in Indigenous people begins, you can't stop it. And you will bring your family and your community with you into your awakening''.

We asked: What ELSE is needed, Jeannie?

''More of this! More networking, partnership building, and collaboration! We knew that it would come to this point and the Circle Widens project would end, but the funders have no idea how important it is to us, and what they have given us: our language, tools, and more.'' She believes that more study is needed to see how the COPA toolkits are being and can be used - for language learning, etc. She says that all of it needs to be expanded to more people: in the community, in the schools, and intergenerationally too.

Baamaapii! Until we meet again!

Jeannie's book and film recommendations:

For kids:

Muskrat Will Be Swimming by Cheryl Savageau (how ancient stories of Native American cultures are used to help today's children to find their way in the world)

When We Were Alone by David A. Robertson (introducing residential schools - about a granddaughter who asks many questions)

For adults:

Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga

Seven Generations: A Plains Cree Saga by David A. Robertson

Red Earth, White Lies by Vine Deloria

Documentaries:

First Contact - 5 episodes, all available here: https://aptn.ca/firstcontact/video/

First Contact takes six Canadians, all with stereotypical opinions about Indigenous People, on a unique 28-day exploration of Indigenous Canada

The Children Taken Away (60's scoop): APTN Investigates: The Children Taken Away

#indigenous education #indigenous languages #indigenous issues #bullying #bullying prevention

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melissawalker01 · 4 years

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/probate-lawyer-south-salt-lake-utah/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/189992779300

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mayarosa47 · 4 years