#this is like four meta posts in one so i apologise if it's rambly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

variousqueerthings · 1 year

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When i was writing it i also kept think about blindfolded Hawkeye, all evidence really does point towards him loving it...

He really does get lead and pushed around so often, I'd love to see someone's take on how it contrasts with his control and responsibilities as chief surgeon. Even outside of surgery, the contrast of him being with someone and then having a nurse or doctor coming in to ask for help or giving him an update on a patient and how he can swap between both mindsets ect.

I firmly believe that Hawkeye would valiantly try to be had by all of the nurses if given the time and opportunity. And any attention is good attention is the sort of mindset that Hawkeye would take and then promptly act like a terror until he got the attention he wants. I feel like he wouldnt have to do this with bj as much as others but he does anyways just to be a problem.

Margaret's a strange one bc it would make sense considering her personality and Hawkeye's interest but like, idk. I think its too much of a contrast in my head from his refusal to show her respect as a major, their relationship in the later seasons (in my head) hinges so much on their views of each other as equals and i think the power dynamics would be a mess.

Its kind of funny how they have Hawkeye acknowledge how sexist some of his actions were when i feel like i always remember there being more women in those earlier seasons. I might be misremembering but i feel like if theyre going to do that they could at least make female characters more core. Like not every woman has to be plot relevant to be featured.

Aro Hawkeye my beloved <3<3 I get him, he loves his friends so much it hurts and also is so so horny. He deserves to be held gently and then absolutely railed and then held again.

-majoranon

(listen okay sometimes I get worried that an ask is too personal or inappropriate so i hold off sending my name with it but the fact that you knew it was me is so funny. What tipped you of?)

Alright, post the first out of... maybe three (maybe four)! (the others of which will be about women in MASH and much shorter I think + blindfold Hawkeye + some more aro talks beyond this + idk, sometimes you’ve just got to see where the typing takes you)

THE FIRST THING I DO IS APOLOGISE FOR THE RAMBLES AND THE FACT THAT I COULD WRITE THIS BETTER AND MORE SOURCED IF MY BRAIN WAS WORKING AND I HAD TIME... I don’t, I’m sad....

I’d originally put your message into bits and was answering them one at a time, but then everything started being about a few of the same things, SO

trust me this all comes from your message 😂

This post: aro Hawkeye 🤝 aro Margaret and my actual dream relationship on the show (or, you’ll never guess where this meta/headcanon is going, or maybe you will, idk)

ALSO KNOWN AS: I make the argument that Hawkeye and Margaret are already in an aromantic life-partnership and so her occasionally topping him is really just a part of the benefits for both of them (but also I barely make the latter half of that argument, I’m sorry, I go all over the place with this one)

I think (and I mentioned that in another post) that Hawkeye being chief surgeon and Very Good at his high-stress job is a feature in this entire (somewhat jokey, but also haha kidding... unless... you know?) headcanon -- lots of people with those kinds of jobs want to get to shut off any decision-making/responsibilities outside of that space and we see that a lot with Hawkeye (in a non-sexual sense). He really really hates being in charge when it’s not about the job

I just rewatched Carry On, Hawkeye and I love how there’s that scene where Margaret is like “I should be in charge now” and Hawkeye basically goes “absolutely, have at it,” but because she’s so used to him being contrarian and bitchy with her, she thinks he’s arguing that she shouldn’t

and it gives us this interesting line:

and then in the same episode having just given Margaret the reports she needed, if we’re going for the “Hawkeye and strong women/Hawkeye and I’m just a little guy/Hawkeye and putting himself on the table” well...

literally.... on the table....

(Margaret if you’re in charge you have to get used to a lanky weirdo lying about on your desk, that’s just who he is)

and then of course:

S I R (mr alan alda, you cannot tell me this guy has never been topped by a woman (we leave domming out of the discussion for today kids, but youknow.. it’s Margaret, she of the riding crop and vibrator))

Anyway this takes us neatly into “Margaret and Hawkeye” territory...

1. first there’s all this stuff around sexuality and gender and romance and relationships happening between those two -- Margaret and “sir” and incorrect womanhood leading her relationships to not work and being openly sexual (and highly suggested dominating), Hawkeye and calling himself “aunt” and being a motherhen and all the being pregnant jokes, and being stepped on jokes, and “joking” about being married to men, etcetcetc --

of course the crux of which is that amazing conversation they have in “Stars and Stripes” in which it’s made textual how similar they are in their ideas about relationships. One of the main reasons I like to hc them as aro is that the way they phrase it is so... vague.... they can’t pinpoint why it never works out for them, time and time again, other than “they can’t change who they are,” and they’re looking for a “custom fit,” but at least with Hawkeye he’s been shown to “fall in love” with people very fast (Erika, Kyung Soon, Inga, etc) and (due to the nature of syndication) get over those relationships again/fall in love with someone new just as fast -- and a note on Erika is that he’s literally suggesting marriage and she’s the one to shut him down (in an also very aro way)

not to mention Carlye whom he proposes to have been in love with for years/never gotten over, but when given the chance for a do-over doesn’t leap at the chance... again because of vague “you choose your job over romantic relationships” reasons (any aromantic who can relate to that reasoning/has literally scoured for historical people who were described that way, raise your hands)

with Margaret you do get the sense that she’d wanted these relationships/that she invests in them, but that the men can never accept her as she is (which Hawkeye does -- and he doesn’t even do it on purpose, to begin with they’re scratching and clawing at each other as we all know), so you see, she’d love to be in a romantic relationship if only she were a completely different person, but alas she can’t be and so she’ll never be a correct woman (again, any aro who’s felt that connection between brokenness and incorrect gender and aroness raise your hands...) and to stretch that one even further, the imagery in “Dreams” of her in the wedding dress with those bodies of men in her bed and the miscarriage-looking blood-stain, it’s all... very evocative of that same incorrect/broken woman, who will never get those things that society promises are what brings happiness that she won’t have and maybe doesn’t even want, but what’s the alternative being offered here?

dead bodies and a lifetime of being alone?

2. I think it’s interesting that you said that because Margaret’s and Hawkeye’s later relationship hinges on them being equals that the power dynamics would be a mess, when that respect is actually the very thing that makes me think of them being perfect for each other in this scenario – there’s a lot of trust and vulnerability that goes into that, especially considering aforementioned gendered expectations and the ways they both already fuck around with them, and how well they know each other at that point. And if I’m gonna take “Inga” at face value, Hawkeye isn’t as out about his (in this headcanon) preferences as one might have thought, so being vulnerable with a stranger? Or someone who isn’t as under his skin as Margaret is?

What I do wonder about is whether later seasons Hawkeye is… all that interested in sex? Overall? Comparatively? Sure, there’s the occasional “Hawkeye has a date” or “Hawkeye does some flirting (with friends),” but – I will go more into this in my next post about women in MASH – when he talks to Marina in opening s10 about how he’s not treated women right in the past + has seen too much to ever be wide-eyed again, it is both good reasons to blow her off, and also something I definitely read at face value.

It also goes into something someone said on a post (I’m sorry I cannot remember where) about how later seasons had less sex, but also less homoeroticism hand-in-hand with that, but also that it’s just that the tone is overall – for Hawkeye more than any other character (he frequently gets The Narrative end of the stick, while everyone else is having a bit of a laugh) – less light-hearted at that point, and also it may have had to do with how they wanted to write the women who did come on the show (again, for next post). My point is that it all adds up to make him seem both Really Really Tired and Much Less Interested In Sex, and then as a consequence gives it a fun read of maybe he's less interested in sex, because he’s so damn tired?

In that scenario is he looking for an occasional fun time with his good friend Margaret Houlihan who maybe would step on him wearing heels (a thing he has canonically lamented her not doing at one point on the show) if he asked nicely and called her sir? Or is it that by the time they become good enough friends that he might trust her and she might trust him with these sexual and gender transgressions, he’s not in a place to try and make anything like this happen at all, because he’s just… tired?

But overall, I do think out of anyone at the 4077th… except for maybe Klinger (and also Sid, if we’re going beyond-but-adjacent), Margaret is the person who might be able to accommodate for Hawkeye the best, and Hawkeye might be able to give Margaret something she doesn’t entirely know how to balance with other men (the one downside is that technically Margaret would wanna be doing something like this with a guy like Trapper – bigger/more traditionally outwardly masculine, but it’s not like she doesn’t find Hawkeye attractive/I don’t think it would be a total dealbreaker – anyway, also smthinsmthin Hawkeye and Margaret are often attracted to the same kinda guy… as for women, I think Hawkeye is pretty broad, while Margaret likes Strong Women (similar to the men))

Meanwhile Margaret, it feels like, has prepared herself for this lifetime of loneliness, except she’s got this family all around her and maybe this guy who’s also not looking for normative relationship structures and is also Not Correct in vague, unspoken (queer) ways. But maybe, again, around the time where it could conceivably be going on, neither of them are in that headspace or maybe they can get each other out of the more tragedy-filled-careening-towards-the-end-of-the-narrative headspace, I can’t say for sure until I’ve finished the show

and speaking of that unknowable space...

What about after the show then?

3. So here’s some stuff I can’t know until I’ve finished it -- I don’t know where Hawkeye ends up and I don’t know where Margaret ends up (or anyone else for that matter), but I do think they’re the two characters who are the most conflicted at this point and likely will be right through to the end

Margaret has made a choice to not get into a romantic relationship with anyone unless they understand her as she is, and so to all intents and purposes has practically sworn off romantic relationships -- this is also framed as her putting her career first, although not entirely. It’s more like she’s putting herself first, but also… there’s something there that doesn’t quite fit. It’s certainly more possible for her to stick with the military than to conform to a housewife ideal, because she’s been with the military her whole life, but she also no longer idealizes what it is and stands for. I really do wonder where she’ll be by the end and I sort of assume she’ll stay with the military, but I also read that somewhat through the lens of disappointing, but expected romances.

Because she’s changed a lot. I don’t think the military really is her home, but I don’t think she knows of anywhere else to go. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she stays with it – I think it would be in character – I just think it would be bittersweet. Better than a marriage, but also not as good as she could do if she could unpack some more of those vague ideas that niggle in her brain (it’s queerness, but not just that, but this read of her is based around that aromanticism in particular).

And meanwhile Hawkeye is just a mess. Idk, I can’t see that changing. I also can’t see where I’d place him after the war, because I can’t see him as okay in that movie-lotr Frodo Baggins Can Never Go Home way. I can’t see anyone as technically “okay,” but I don’t think he has anyplace where he could go to attempt what people call “resuming a normal life.” Hell, I’m not even entirely sure I could see him continuing as a surgeon (that episode with the surgeon who completely breaks down is uh… well, it’s not there for nothing). Similar to Margaret, but with added PTSD, there’s all that Vagueness niggling at his brain, which maybe angers him, because he already knows he’s a big ol bisexual who falls for married men, so what gives? And he doesn’t even have a fallback like the army. At best he might simply be a surgeon or a general practitioner, but you know… The Horrors. I can’t see him as anything but haunted for the rest of his life

And so thinking of a dream scenario where they both somehow make it and it’s not just “trying to get by (trying to get by in the army, trying to get by back in Maine, trying to remember what “home” is supposed to be)” I’m like… what if they just moved in together and tried to deal with the Vagueness together, same as they’ve done multiple times on the show?

(And sidenote I maybe should’ve gotten into earlier, it’s so interesting that their romantic travails are shared with one another more than any other character -- Hawkeye is the person who knows the most about what was going on with her and Frank/Don/Sully, and she knows about him and Kyung Soon, and the aforementioned Big Conversation about The Revolving Heart Of Korea, which is said by Margaret, but is really the both of them)

(sidenote: Hawkeye is consistently the person who makes her smile like this the most)

(other other sidenote: “double-solitaire” ought to be codeword for queerplatonic aro partnership?????)

(other other other sidenote: literally just watched “Birthday Girls” in which Margaret rails against getting sympathy, but in this one she accepts it so readily from Hawkeye, and has done multiple times ever since the episode with the dog)

Margaret is the woman (maybe even the person) that Hawkeye knows best/has Hawkeye’s number and has done from very early on (but now she’s incredibly fond of that nr), Hawkeye is at least 10% of Margaret’s perfect man, it would be a great beard for the both of them, and they’d be able to draw a lot of comfort from each other.

And you know... they See Each Other and don’t expect the other person to change the core of themselves to fit, and they could challenge one another to become their most truthful selves better than anyone else could

SO IN CONCLUSION WOULD MARGARET DOM HAWKEYE (is barely the question that’s been answered in this long fucking post): IT DEPENDS

early seasons Hawkeye would have been SO up for it, but Margaret would not + it wouldn’t have been great for either of them I think? Although, sometimes they got along, even then, so maybe off the back of an episode like that... (but I do think it matters that they never canonically have sex until “Comrade in Arms”)

later seasons Hawkeye may have been too depressed for sexual frolicking and Margaret was going through an identity crisis, so idk, somewhere in between all of that somewhere?

POST seasons Hawkeye and Margaret... maybe? depending on where you puttem? if they get to spend time together?

would they at the very least have fantasized about it? Oh yeah, absolutely!

I leave you with this image:

#margaret houlihan #hawkeye pierce #MASH #MASH meta #aromantic hawkeye #aromantic margaret #and with the aromanticism: gender fuckery #mate help i wrote this mostly today and it is barely edited and im going to sleep now #but i did SAY i was going into Places with all of this

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your-turn-to-role · 3 years

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well into the final CR1 arc and I have decided to become a Sprigg stan account

LOOK BIG MOOD

darin de paul is my favourite guest on cr, hands down

like...

1) the sheer fantastic comedic energy he brought, no other guest comes close, you can see how unexpectedly delighted all the other players are just to see him work, and matt's having a lot of fun playing demistrik too, like... god i've tried to bring sprigg's energy into some of my own npcs while dming because there really is no character more fun to play than an absolutely unpredictable old man with weird strong opinions about everything

(and quirks like the "let's come up with a mnemonic device in case we need to jump him", that are way longer than the phrase itself, in full earshot of everyone, just, fantastic)

2) i love the legacy just sprigg as a character brings? i don't know if you know this already if you're just watching it, but, sprigg's been alone for 37 years because darin de paul last played sprigg 37 years ago, in a campaign with matt's mother

like! he's full of history because he literally is full of history, and it's a legacy that's deeply personal to the show by nature of being a family relation to the dm!

3) [and, spoilers for 106 and 107, don't know where you're up to] i've talked about this before i'm sure but... darin de paul could not have brought a better character for everyone's character arcs if he tried

especially vax and keyleth

bc like... what they're dealing with right now is keyleth's worst fear. she was hesitant about getting in a relationship at all because she knew her lifespan was in the thousands of years and she didn't want to get close to someone and then outlive them. she didn't want to let things matter to her and then risk losing them, and vax helped her get away from that

he convinced her it was worth it, and then this happened. they know one way or another only one of them makes it out of this alive, and it's probably not vax. (he even has the line in 107, "i know the chance you took on me, and i've confirmed your worst fears and then some")

and neither of them are okay, meeting sprigg, bc it's that huge reminder, because sprigg ran away, and his friends died, and he forgot all their names

and everyone else thinks sprigg is just talking nonsense but keyleth looks at him and sees a mirror, she understands him perfectly and it's terrifying

and like. vax and keyleth haven't talked about this, at this point, because they don't know how to, and they're scared to even face each other. and i think, had sprigg not showed up right here, they might have done that for all the time they had left. because neither of them knew how to face this, it was just too overwhelming

but here he is. keyleth's worst possible ending. alone, left with half a mind, paranoid, stuck in this hut in the forest building traps. everyone he ever cared about has faded from his mind. and vox machina, they just found out percy and vex got married in secret, and while scanlan's teasing them, vax and keyleth are angry and silently crying in a corner, because they can't ever have that, and what do they do in this meantime, where vax is a walking ghost and they know that time's almost up, and keyleth is so desperate not to be alone?

(and the gods, too, sprigg hates ioun, even though he's her champion, he doesn't think she ever helped him and he'd be better off without her. and keyleth never understood how the raven queen helped vax, she only saw the ways in which he got hurt, and she's never been one for gods either)

but those things aren't gone. none of them are gone, sprigg's just been distracted from them. he does come to remember them, with the right help, and that's the first spark of hope for keyleth. for both of them, because he is vax and keyleth in one, he's been the lone survivor, but he keeps his friends in his heart, and he chooses to fulfill his duties to ioun and stay with her as her champion. it's reassuring vax, too, that he's not just walking into oblivion.

and it's that that grants them the courage to face up to this and talk to each other, and actually maybe be somewhat okay with this

and i could be here all day if i detail everyone, but to briefly go into it, percy and scanlan too

because ioun's library is an important step in percy's arc, which has always been about legacy. he's deeply concerned with legacy above everything, and has been absolutely devastated by both the loss of his family, his city, and their family history (matt mentions at one point the briarwoods burned a lot of the family records and percy looks so angry at that), and the fact that, under the influence of a demon, he then turned his own legacy into one of mass murder. there's a lot of important steps in percy's character arc but all of them relate in some way to, what came before me, and what do i leave for others

and this is the first spark of hope he's ever seen! he argues with keyleth in 56 about the importance of monuments, they're not about pride, they're about remembering those who came before (and, again, percy and keyleth's arcs, incredibly interlinked), and percy has none. everything that makes him has been deliberately destroyed by someone, and that's incredibly difficult for him to deal with. but here, in this library, is a record of everyone who ever lived. he doesn't have to shoulder the responsibility and guilt of turning the sole legacy of hundreds of years of family history into one of destruction. because these records are permanent, no matter what happens, his family mattered, because they're here, and no amount of fuck ups on his part can destroy that

and scanlan, scanlan's singled out by sprigg immediately. and that may just be because he's the only other gnome present, but sprigg was right, they do have a connection. because scanlan ran away. he saw the tide turning into things he wasn't ready to face up to, and he did exactly what sprigg did, and didn't care about the consequences. and he's now realising how badly that hurt vox machina

but he has something sprigg doesn't, which is that his friends are still alive. sprigg's friends died because of his betrayal, but vox machina are here to give him a second chance. and this is the episode where he really steps up. he sees that, he makes a conscious decision to not be like sprigg, and for the first time in his life, he takes responsibility. and it's scanlan stepping up that saves them

#this is like four meta posts in one so i apologise if it's rambly #but like seriously the impact darin de paul had on the story was INCREDIBLE #cr1 #c1e105 #c1e106 #sprigg #vax'ildan #keyleth #scanlan shorthalt #percy de rolo #crit role cast #ask #text #meta #cr thoughts

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