thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).

for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.

for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).

for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.

for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.

for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.

and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.

(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)

(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

The Death of Mikey Berzatto = The Death of Stagnation/Repetition

It hurts so much to realize that Mikey's character represents a stall in any forward movement for all characters and the story in general. With him still living, no one moves. With him still living, Carmy never comes back home to run the family restaurant, Sydney Adamu never comes to work for The Beef, The Beef never becomes The Bear. There is a comfort to Mikey's character that is often spoken about when the characters who knew him the best talk about him after his death. They talk about him as something almost reliable, a being whose energy never changed. He'd always been loud. He'd always had this larger than life personality. They could rely on this person to be their source of comfort, and within that deceptive comfort, they were unconsciously never allowed to seek change.

Richie's conversation with Uncle Jimmy in Fishes is a prime example of Mikey's stagnant presence. Throughout the whole whispered conversation, we hear Mikey in the background retelling the Ceres story and Richie keeps checking over his shoulder to make sure he isn't overheard by anyone. He's begging Jimmy for a job because he knows sticking around The Beef, which means sticking around Mikey, won't allow him to grow. It's interesting to see that in the same episode, whenever Richie is around Mikey he acts just like him. But when he's alone with Tiffany and alone with Jimmy, he acts like a completely different, more mature person. Richie continuing to act the way he behaved with Mikey in season 1 came from a place of denial. He didn't want to fully accept that Mikey was really gone, so he continued to act as if he wasn't, which resulted in Richie rejecting any and all changes to The Beef, especially Sydney, whose character is the embodiment of change. It isn't until the end of the season, when Richie gives Carmy Mikey's letter, that Richie finally leaves the denial stage of grieving. He's finally able to grow and move on.

One of the major points of tension in Fishes is Mikey's fight with Lee. Lee voices his displeasure with Mikey telling the same story over and over again, and Mikey reacts aggressively to what he considers to be a massive insult. I believe Mikey lashes out so harshly because he already understands the truth of Lee's assertion. Mikey is stuck telling the same story over and over and over again, stuck with failed business venture after failed business venture, stuck living in his mother's house and running the family business and being Mikey Bear. He is Sisyphus, cursed to push the boulder up the hill for all eternity. I think the worst part of it all is the writers made him aware of his stagnation (I don't mean that in a negative way against the writers, it's gripping storytelling). We see him almost break down when Carmy gifts him the concept drawing of The Bear. He loves that his brother can see towards the future and has a vision, a plan to try to make it come to fruition, but he knows he can't be there with him.

Mikey's death is tragically inevitable in every way possible to this narrative. In a story formulated around growth, the one character who was written to be intrinsically inert could not move along with the rest of the story. What I appreciate the most about his character is the fact that, though he was unmoving, his death became the catalyst for movement. It's all so tragic and yet bittersweet.

Hi so like, I’m a day one, sydcarmy fiend. In for the long haul, in whatever form I need it ☺️

But… there is ✨something✨ about the idea of Luca coming to Chicago to visit the Bear and taste some of Marcus’ projects (they’ve of course been sharing ideas since his Copenhagen trip). Just two bros talking about pastry and the Bulls, when Sydney walks in to find a stranger in her kitchen. A very handsome, tattooed stranger, who is almost immediately enamored with Chef Sydney Adamu 👀 am I crazy someone please share in this brain rot

idk why but the day one syd/carmy fiend proclamation is sending me. you've been in the trenches, you've seen some shit haha.

i will partake in the brain rot. i can imagine luca being a bit of a hipster and communicating with marcus through snail-mail, sending him physical inspiration through postcards, prints, letters etc.

maybe marcus is M.I.A for a few days, a week, i dunno. long enough for syd to take carry on this little penpal relationship herself and perhaps she gets too invested.

rn, i'm the biggest fan of the syd/sledgehammer/knife love triangle.