#this is exactly why i left the fairy tail fandom lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairydares · 2 months

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loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

#cw harassment #tw suicide-baiting #tw hospitalization #posts i actually wrote #fairy tail #nalu #fandom #fandom meta #proship #pro fiction #anti-censorship #fandom wank #profiction

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celestialtitania · 8 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @kasienda for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

The current number is 51 and honestly? it still blows my mind.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

151,239, made up almost entirely of one shots lol.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

There's a lot of them but in recent years, it's mainly been miraculous ladybug, my hero academia, and the occasional percy jackson.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'M HIS BEST FRIEND (no, it's me!) (MHA)

A Preposterous Predicament (ML)

Mind Outta Body (FT)

Ma Douce Souffrance (ML)

my colours on you (ML)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I'm really good at responding right after I publish a fic. It's afterwards that I sometimes forget to respond, or simply don't have enough time to respond. I always appreciate every comment I get though!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angstiest ending huh? A bunch of my fics are angsty but the one that I think ends in the most angst would have to be dance with the devil, drink with the demons, without it being outright whump lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy? Happy. Um....I'm gonna say party like it's your heroes' birthday just because there's a party and it's sweet and yeah lmao. It also has the wholesome family/friend vibes that keep me from forever being confused about the correct fluff to angst ratio.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been extremely lucky and have been able to avoid it for the most part. That's not to say I've gotten no hate ever, but it was minimal enough that I pretend it doesn't exist. Fervently hoping it stays that way!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Maybe. No. The idea has crossed my mind but I haven't been able to write it as of yet. Maybe I never will. Who's to say really?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Kind of? I did it exactly once. But not in the traditional way, it was more of a, "take the world-building idea of percy jackson and put it into a fairy tail quest" so I'm not sure if it actually counts.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. Or at least I hope I haven't!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I was asked once, many moons ago, but then they never got back to me, so I assume they dropped the idea.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No? Unless we're counting those fic fights/telephone things where one person starts and another takes over. There was also this one time, I was writing a fic with a few others but we never managed to finish, so I don't really count that one.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time? And I'm only supposed to pick one?? Next time, give me a tough question, will ya? Wow uh, I don't know if it's my favourite ship, perse, but it is the ship I've shipped the longest + one I've actually written for, so I'm gonna go with lovesquare. *shrugs* probably typical of me, but it was the only ship to get inside my head so badly that I've written over a dozen fics for them, instead of more gen stuff, which is my usual go-to otherwise.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Well, if we look at my gigantic list of unpublished fics, there's probably plenty of WIPs to choose from there. As for published, well I don't want to say I never will but yeah Forsake the Divine (If You Can) seems to be a pretty solid choice, if only because there are only 1 chapter and a half left to go and it's all outlined too, but I've kind of fallen out of the fandom (it's very dead) so idk if I'll ever manage to put it together.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization is definitely a strong suit. And judging purely from my comment section, I feel okay assuming that I'm pretty good at making the emotional beats land too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description definitely. It's been pointed out to me more than once that I'm so focused inside the characters' heads that I forget to interact more with the world around them. Nature wants to be incorporated and I'm working on that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I hate it. It feels so strange to me to have a few words in a different language and then abruptly switch back to English. The only thing that I feel I have to do in another language though, is honorifics. Whether it be -san, -kun, or Madame, I think I get super extra about it. I once delved into such a rabbit hole trying to figure out what honorific even a side character uses, just for a throwaway dialogue!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ooh, officially? Fairy Tail. Unofficially, hidden in the depths of my laptop? Yeah, it was Percy Jackson. My childhood favourite that still haunts my thoughts to this day.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ironically? This is the second time I've been asked that today and the choice is still just as difficult. Or maybe it's that my actual favourites are still unfinished and hence unpublished. For now, I'm going to say Enduring, it's the fic that was most different genre-wise from what I usually write, and I'm very proud of how it turned out. If I ever manage to finish it though, my favourite will probably be a life unlived or maybe I'm just doomed to never have a favourite, because there will always be something new I'm looking forward to reading (meaning I have to write it to be able to see it). Tagging (no pressure!) @shortmexicangirl @rosiesared @ck2k18 @heartfulselkie @coffeebanana @mdelpin @kiliinstinct @lady-charinette

#writing #fic writer #about me

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autumnleavescoffeedreams · 5 years

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When you go into the Gray Fullbuster x Lucy Heartfilia relationship tag on AO3 and only half are actually GrayLu stories???

The rest are NaLu stories.

#graylu #gralu #gray fullbuster x lucy heartfilia #fairy tail #this is exactly why i left the fairy tail fandom lol #it's ridden with toxic shippers #ao3 #fanfiction

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todokori-kun · 7 years

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Here’s my proper reply :)

*hugs back* I love talking to you toooo you’re such an awesome friend *ugly tears*

Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. I guess the only explanation is that some part of Kaneki’s body is still human, since he IS an artificial ghoul. Though I have to wonder how Touka can be sure the kid needs human food….it seems she hasn’t told Ken or anybody else so she couldn’t have gotten advice/info about it, and though Touka’s no idiot it’s not like she’s an expert on biology.

I wonder if Ishida’s going to be like ‘lol sorry the kid’s basically full ghoul and Touka’s been poisoning it with human food in the womb’

(jk, jk, but really)

Or wait, crack theory (please don’t take this seriously, it isn’t meant to make sense):

You know those theories that Uta isn’t actually 100% ghoul (or at least not a 'normal’ ghoul)? So, what if it was Uta back in THAT chapter. I mean, he’s been trolling Ken since the first series so…

And Touka somehow found out about the whole thing and still wants to keep the kid, which is why this is happening.

Wow, it would actually be awesome if Eto adopted the kid and raised them to understand what it means to be a part of both the ghoul and human worlds! If she was planning to pass on the title of the OEK to the child but ended up growing too attached, giving them the childhood she never had and telling them that though she’s crowning them as the new 'King’ she wants them to truly live- “Bridge the gap between the two worlds, become a leader and a spark of hope for those who need it, but never lose sight of yourself and your happiness. Martyrdom doesn’t pay, you know?”- because their father, Kaneki, failed to do so and that was what ruined him.

I think the hair suits Chris Hemsworth pretty well (OTL I have sinned, forgive me Queen Luna) but it doesn’t suit Thor…? Idk. He doesn’t look like Thor anymore haha

I feel like they’ll let it grow back in later movies, though :)

I agree that their canon bond is supposed to be platonic (possibly goes deeper than that, just not in a romantic way) but the fandom can dream ^^ I actually don’t mind either way because I ship Clint with Laura (his wife) as well.

Well, not exactly. Sharon’s still a pretty minor character but I think she had a lot of potential until that romance just killed it (I mean, she doesn’t have much of a personality, but she had one pretty cool scene in Civil War (before the Notp happened) that made me like her).

Don’t you dare I need someone to ship Stoki with me, please ;-; don’t leave me alone with all this pain

I’m glad you enjoyed the comments about Kanae ^^ (sorry I’m in an evil, gloating cinnamon roll mood today)

Oh, we’re actually pretty similar then! I mean, I have a few artists I could say I’m a fan of (Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Marina, Fall Out Boy) but most of the other songs I listen to are just chosen at random from all over the place.

If you liked Still Sane, though, I recommend Lorde’s new album (Melodrama)! It’s been years and she’s finally back :) there’s a song called 'Liability’ on the album that I really relate to and also reminds me of Kaneki ;-; I’ve also been obsessed with 'Perfect Places’ and 'Sober’ for a while now.

Oh my XD reading that reminded me of one of my older MCU characters who was pretty bad: it’s been a while so I’ve forgotten most of the details, but I remember she had a cat theme (her powers were probably something like enhanced agility??? and claws??? I think?) and was this super edgy anti-hero who shouldn’t even have been allowed to work with SHIELD in the first place but you know, terrible OC logic. She’d stand on top of buildings and make angsty speeches with her impractically long hair flowing in the wind…. and of course she had this intense love-hate relationship with Loki that was just full of unnecessary drama.

(Again, I don’t really remember much about my old OCs (conveniently forgot all my worst creations haha) so I’m just guessing here ^^;; I think this is mostly the sort of cringe-worthy stuff I came up with though)

Nara sounds cute! It’s admirable that she doesn’t get discouraged and tries her best even with guys like Yuuri and Phichit around :) I’d love Kya (that’s her name, right?) also seems really cool- her powers are a nice twist on the old 'communicating with/controlling animals’ thing :D

Whew, I’m glad Tatsuo didn’t get lost ^^ I accidentally erased his 'profile’ like two or three times when I was trying to send him to you and I was getting really frustrated…was he ok?

Also I was trying to make his profile a bit 'light’ and funny but I probably failed lol

And since you said you wanted to see my suffering TG OC, I’ll send you Naomi now! :) And maybe some of my other OCs with her, because I love creating characters and end up making some for almost all the fandoms I’m in even if I have no intention of ever using them (Naomi and Tatsuo are probably going to be confined to our conversations because I have no idea how I’d use them in a fic).

Ayyyy the blog is so pretty ! ! ! <333333

Wow, first you somehow associate me with my favorite color before I ever told you that’s what it was, then I choose the character you most relate to as your icon…? This is weird but also strangely cool, if that makes sense lol

I actually learned to play Merry Go Round of Life on the piano a while ago and my teacher told me it was a waltz-like piece, so I should try to stay true to that (needless to say I failed miserably for quite a while haha). You’re right, it’d be lovely to see a couple dancing to it :)

(Why am I imagining Yumikuri waltzing to that song ;-;)

((This is my favourite hug gif of all times))

I mean, yes, Kaneki is a half ghoul, but he’s more powerful than some full ghouls, not to mention his Rc levels are as high as a ghouls. I think that getting a Kakuja also ‘helped’ him to bridge the gap between half-ghoul and more or less-ghoul. However, since it is an incomplete Kakuja.

This is all so confusing ;-;

That wouldn’t surprise, me honestly. It would make fans suffer more and what does he like more than suffering?

OH MY You’re totally right! When a healthy baby is born, with black hair and always has his kakugan activated (I don’t trust Uta’s explanation of it), Kaneki starts to doubt some things. Not to mention, he never actually slept with Touka, so how the fuck would the kid be his?

Honestly, if Eto adopted the kiddo and gave it a beautiful childhood full of wonders and fun, somewhere away from Japan, I’d forgive Ishida everything, including (maybe) killing Hide, or, at least, if he’s not dead, keeping Hide away from us for so long. She’s George Washington here. ‘Dreams of dying like a martyr?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Dying is easy young man/lady, living is harder’ So she encourages them to live, despite how hard it is, because the world is cruel, but also beautiful.

YES! It suits Chris, but not Thor! Which is why they should’ve given him a wig, at least =3= Oh well, all that’s left to do is wait for it to grow back. Hopefully it will.

Oh, I see. Then, it truly is a shame that the writers decided to go through with the ship of her and Steve :/

Heh. I’ll see... Idk when I’ll watch Civil War, tho. Soon, probably

The only reason why I want to see Re animated is because of Urie and Kanae. That’s it, as long as those two get so much as 5 seconds of screen time, I’ll be happy.

Alrighty, I’ll make sure to listen to the album soon ^^

Oh wow, that’s certainly an interesting OC... So, angsty catwoman in MCU? Sounds exactly like something I’d make, just with wolves instead of Cats (i had an unhealthy obsession with wolves (and werewolves!) when I was younger ;-;)

I recently remembered my Fairy Tail OC. You ready for it? Idk which one’s worse, this one or the FMA one ;-; A dragon slayer (which is already a very Sue trait), but she didn’t have one element. Oh no, she was the QUEEN dragon slayer, which meant she could use any element she wanted *nods head* See, that was my worst problem when making characters. I was more or less tame with looks and I tried to give them character flaws (but it usually made them endearing, whoops), yet I just had to give them powerful abilities or something.

Now that i think about it, I’m glad I never made an OC for TG. Now that would’ve been a show. Waddaya say we make the biggest, most sueish character we can think of? Let’s see, to begin with, they would definitely have a chimera Kagune. Now, the most kagune a ghoul can poses, as far as we know, is 3, but why stop at that? The glorious character should definitely have all 4!

At one point, I stopped writing down my OC stuff. Now I’m very thankful about that, since it means I forgot most of it.

Aw, I’m glad you like the characters ^^ Honestly, as a writer, one of my first impulses when watching something is either to make an AU (for the show’s characters or for characters from other shows thrown into that situation) or to make an OC. So, Nara and Kya are one of the more recent ones.

Tatsuo is a magnificent bastard, if I’ve ever seen one. Seems like either the guy who’d immediately become my problematic fave or the character I can’t stand. Keep them coming huehuehue I definitely enjoy reading about other people’s OCs! I can’t wait to see Naomi! And feel free to send me other ones as well ^^

Thank you! I’m glad you like the new blog ^^ I wanted to change the palette to something lighter and more summer-like, so I think pastel yellow was a nice choice ^^

We are connected

Oh, that’s so cute! I never had the will to print the sheet music out, honestly. I’m too lazy for my own good :p

Why are you giving me the feels™ :))

#evans #submission

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