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#this could not be any more perfectly personalized for aris (and *me*) if I'd asked for it specifically
theweirdmasquerade · 7 months
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I do not think I made this as clear as I could my main BG3 toon (who was developed from a very, very, old oc + my current actual play ttrpg character) is a fey patron warlock/sorc in-game who I headcanoned as having made an arrangement of sorts with Tasha (a bit off standard warlock pact but CLOSE ENOUGH)
whose real job when he is not trying to get a mindflayer parasite out of his head is alchemist/apothecary
will be getting an amulet themed around his benefactor with new potions attached to it
holy shit
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ranveer--singh · 1 year
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The nights are tasteless without you: part 11 ~ Ari Levinson Fic
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A/N - This is my first proper multiple chapter story which came to me while watching a Bollywood movie. It is set in Mumbai India where Ari is a professor at a university meets a person of colour - Marathi girl at the train station. There will be other Chris Evans characters as professors and Henry Cavill   characters as professors  
Warning: Please read this before reading the story. 18+, smut, sex… etc
Also this chapter is written and dedicated to @madbaddic7ed2pointoh
Two weeks have gone past since her two monthly anniversary date. Maddy and Ari facetime almost daily, in the morning and after work. They would even facetime while cooking, Ari teasing her by cooking shirtless with glasses on.
Arya, who was Maddy's childhood best friend, came over one evening for an impromptu girls' night with wine and Chinese takeaway and a few gifts for her bestie. Maddy was so happy to be spending time with her, maybe she would get some advice about her relationship. 
"Lets see what you've been texting him Mads," Arya said, grabbing Maddy's phone to see what has been going on. She couldn't stop giggling, the texts were so sweet on her part, Ari tried to take it further and Maddy pulled back. 
"What are you typing A," Maddy said feeling nervous, what if Arya said something that would throw Ari off and not want to date her any more. Arya giggled, looking at Maddy who was now frowning, wanting her phone back. 
Arya just sent Ari a text asking what he was up to with a wink emoji. Maddy blushed at the idea, wondering what he sent back. 
Hey babe, I'm just at home watching a documentary about where Chocolate came from. Miss you so so much. 
You know I am chocolate, brown on the outside and sweet inside 😉
Maddy's face became bright red seeing what Arya had typed back and sent it. She wanted to crawl into a bottomless pit then see Ari's face. Would Ari even look at her the same way? 
Arya smiled, she was only trying to help her best friend; she deserved the happiness. 
I'd love to taste it one day 😉
Ari sent the text making Maddy blush and moan, she wasn't ready but wanted to be. 
"Maddy, I bought you a gift," Arya said, putting her phone down and handing her the bag. 
"What, why A," she said, opening the bag to see a full lacy lingerie set, in black for her. "What is this A, I don't wear this kinda stuff," she says pushing it back inside.
"Maddy, you are in a relationship, and from what you told me he sounds lovely. Why not try to spice up the relationship with this set. At least for me try it on," Arya said looking at Maddy sigh, putting her hands through her hair. 
Maddy was shy and nervous about wearing the set, but Arya boosted her confidence with positive affirmation. She jumped out of her seat to go and put it on, gasped while looking at herself in the mirror and saw how well her curvy body looked in the set. 
Her boobs fit perfectly in the bra making her exude confidence. 
"Maddy, lemme see," Arya shouted waiting for her to walk down the stairs and flaunt  her set. "Daym gurl," Arya said whistling at her, telling Maddy to turn around
"Stop it," she said, blushing deep red. 
"Maddy girl, Ari is going to love this on you," Arya says, snapping pics of her. She grabbed Maddy's phone to snap a picture and send it to Ari. 
"Arya, what are you doing," Maddy said, finally getting hold of her phone to see the picture was already sent to Ari. Maddy tried to delete it, but it was too late. She could see he was online and had seen the picture.
She knew Arya meant no harm but now the picture was out there for Ari to see. Maddy sat on the sofa, looking at her hands talking to Arya trying to come up with an excuse to tell Ari. Both of them came up with a plan to tell Ari this picture was a prank between besties, it doesn't mean anything. 
30 minutes later the doorbell rang, Arya  went to open the door to see Ari from the picture Maddy showed her. He was standing outside, in blue jeans and a denim shirt with white trainers. 
"Hi, is Maddy around," Ari said, not sure who this person was. She had never talked about her best friend to him.
"Yes, but who are you,"  she said looking at him, Ari introduced himself to her, they both talking Arya letting Ari know she is Maddy's best friend since they where kids.
"Oh hi Ari," she shouted, letting Maddy know who was at the door. She looked down to see she was still in the set, there was no way she could run up and change so Maddy grabbed the pillows to cover herself.
10 minutes in, Ari wanted to see Maddy. The picture that he saw got him aroused. Arya told him where she was and took him to the lounge where Maddy was sitting, covered in pillows watching Friends on mute.
Arya coughed, getting Maddy's attention, she turned around to not only see her bestie but see Ari in her favorite outfit of his. Seeing Ari made Maddy blush a deep colour red and hide her face in her hands. Arya wanted to go hug her, this was something out of Maddy's comfort zone but Ari told her to give him few minutes with her.
Arya went to the kitchen, scrolling on tiktok while in an ear shot in case Maddy needed her. 
"Hey babe," Ari said softly from across the room. There was no answer, Maddy kept quiet and hoped Ari would go away.
"Sorry Ari, I would never have sent that," she said in muffle tones, her face hiding in the pillow. Ari's face softened, walking over and sitting next to Maddy. 
"Babe, Arya explained that she sent the picture. She told me the whole story, it's ok," Ari softly said, trying to move her hands off her face. "Look at me babe, you're my girlfriend no matter what. I love all versions of you babe," Ari said, seeing Maddy remove her hands from her face and look at him. She stared at him and couldn't help but blush. 
"Now that picture, you look gorgeous my beautiful marathi woman," Ari said and she kept blushing.
"Oh Ari," she said, feeling vulnerable and shy around him. Ari could see her squeeze the pillows tight around her body so he jumped off the sofa and stripped his clothes off, sitting on the sofa in his underwear. "What are you doing Ari," she said giggling at him. 
Arya could hear the giggles and knew Maddy was ok and left to go home. 
"What are you doing Ari," Ari copied Maddy's sentence. 
"Why are you in your underwear," she said, shaking her head. 
"Why are you in your underwear," Ari replied, laughing as Maddy got annoyed and pushed a pillow towards him.
"Stop it Ari," she said laughing at him.
"Stop it Ari," he copied once again making Maddy throw a pillow at him. Ari threw one back at her and they started a pillow fight, throwing pillows at one another. Maddy ducked a few times making Ari miss her, she managed to throw the pillow at his face a few times laughing at him groaning and throwing one back at her ass. 
Laughter filled the room, as they kept throwing pillows at one another, Maddy was slipping off the sofa, she grabbed Ari's arm and they both fell onto the floor giggling.
"Gosh I love you Maddy," Ari said, leaning down to kiss her lips with such passion. Maddy squeezed his arms as Ari again left another tantalizing kiss. She felt nervous, scared in fact but was ready for Ari to take her virginity. 
"We don’t have to do anything you're not comfortable with," Ari said, seeing Maddy look down. He grabbed her chin, pulling Maddy's head up to look at him. "Maddy, do you trust me," Ari asked, looking at her cheeks turn light red. Ari stroked her hair, watching her eyes flutter waiting for an answer. 
"I trust you Ari," she whispered, looking at him shyly. Maddy didn't know what to expect.
“We can start off with some more kissing and go from there. Is that okay with you?” He said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
“That sounds nice right now.” Maddy replied, pulling him into her, crashing her lips onto his. The kiss continued on before Ari moved down to her neck. He started sucking and kissing the sensitive area. The sensation Ari was giving Maddy was something she had never felt before. 
Maddy was ready to feel things her friends talked about at girls night. She smiled, looking at Ari, enjoying his beard and scraping her skin with every kiss. His lips started to move down her neck to her shoulders, showering Maddy with love and protection. 
"Ari," she said, her voice shaking. Ari's head shot up, looking at Maddy with such love. 
"Yes, is everything alright?" he replied, looking at Maddy's lips form a small smile . 
"Oh yes," she said, very much enjoying his lips on her. "It's just, my friends were talking about their man going down on them. I mean, no pressure or anything," Maddy said quickly, hiding her face in her hands. 
Ari found her to be so cute, slowly moving her hands off her face and gave her a wink. 
"We can do whatever Maddy is comfortable with," Ari said, kissing her lips softly once again, hearing Maddy sigh and in need of more. 
"I'm comfortable with you," Maddy said softly, looking at him and smiling down at her. Ari gave her a tantalizing kiss, enjoying the moans escaping her mouth. His lips moved to her neck, where Ari placed a delicate kiss on the part under her ear. 
Ari kept kissing, sucking the area seeing how much she was enjoying herself. He didn't want to rush it and take his time showering her with love. When Ari was satisfied, marking her neck, he looked up to see her smile. He brushed her hair away from her face, not able to stop kissing her lips with such passion. Ari simply couldn't get enough of her. 
He smiled, kissing her shoulders. He loved how soft her skin felt on his lips. Ari tugged his fingers under the strap of her bra and slipped it down. He kissed her strap marks and could see goosebumps forming. Ari moved to the left side, slipping the strap down and kissing the skin.
Ari felt Maddy stiffen under him, so he moved back to sit on his haunches and give her some space. Maddy looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes while biting her lower lip. She closed her eyes next and took a deep breath, and when she opened her eyes again, Ari could see lust shining in them. She surged up to kiss Ari and Ari swooped down to meet her halfway, but they mistimed it slightly and ended up butting heads. 
"Ow!" She said as she rubbed her forehead. "Shit I'm so sorry!" Ari said as he ducked down to comfort her, ignoring the throbbing in his own temple. But in the next moment, she giggled and kissed him again, making Ari forget all about the incident as his hands went back to her shoulders. His fingers idly toyed with the straps, while Maddy moaned into the kiss and unhooked the bra herself. 
Taken aback, Ari rushed to help her take it off, and once it was on the floor, she climbed into his lap and thrust her hands in his hair as she continued to kiss him. Her legs wound around his hips and Ari groaned when she parked her tush right on top of his erection. His hands roamed her ass and back, and he ventured boldly as he rounded her shoulders and cupped her breasts, one in each palm. 
Maddy gasped and broke away from the kiss, trying to hide her face in his shoulder. Ari nudged her neck to one side by nosing along one slope of it as he started kissing around her clavicle and approaching her nipple. When he finally took one in his mouth, she lurched in his lap, grinding on him hard. 
Ari went feral then, as he lunged forward and dropped her back on the floor. He braced her body from impact by bracketing his forearms at her back. He continued to explore her boobs as she squirmed in his hold. Ari started moving towards her navel and he looked up at her, seeking permission to take off her panties. 
Maddy sighed and blushed when he made eye contact, but didn't say anything. She ran a hand through his hair and ruffled it, causing Ari to turn his head and kiss her palm quickly. 
"Maddy"
"Hmm?"
"May I?"
"Mm hmm"
"That's not good enough neshama sheli, I'm gonna need you to use your words."
"What…what did you just call me?" She sat up on her elbows, her face flushed and her boobs heaving. To Ari she looked very beautiful when she was aroused and he was already longing to see this sight more often. Unable to help himself, he palmed one of her globes and rubbed the pad of his thumb over one pointed peak, making her gasp. 
"So responsive baby," he gulped. He could feel he was in trouble already. It was gonna be a long night. 
Her hand caught hold of his and she repeated her question, head cocked to one side. The action made all her hair spill over one shoulder and again Ari couldn't resist touching it. He snapped out of his daze though and responded to her, "It means my soul in Hebrew" 
"Mm." She held his palm up to her lips and kissed it. "And who taught you Billo Rani?"
Ari chuckled. "It was…uh..Jensen I think?" 
She said nothing and Ari asked again, bending forward and knocking his forehead with hers. "Billo, you're testing me here. Tell me if you want me to take off your panties or not?"
"Ari," her voice came out small, "what if it hurts?"
"I'll try to make it easy for you, my love," he kissed her again, "but only if you want me to."
"I do," she whispered and threw her arms around his neck. Ari laid her down again as he kissed her and took off her panties, while she squirmed her hips to help him take it off. 
Maddy planted her hands on Ari's chest and her palms flattened in his wiry chest hair. She made a mental note that she wanted to be the one to help him unbutton his shirt next time. She bit her lip as she blushed at herself for thinking about the next time while she was still having her first time. Just then, Ari nipped her ear, putting all thoughts in her head to an end and reducing her to a blissed out mess. 
Ari stopped what he was doing to give her a puzzled look. "Ahuvati, what are you thinking?" 
"What's with you and nicknames?" She giggled.
"Well this is a Hebrew word for my love or darling"
"What else can I expect from a Hebrew Professor?"
Ari shrugged and gave her a smile. She couldn't help herself at how cute he looked and leaned up to give him a cheek kiss. 
"You're so sweet Billo" he nuzzled her neck. 
"Ari" she whispered as she continued playing with his chest hair.
"Yes billo?"
"Um, I'm the only one fully naked right now," 
"And?"
"And didn't you strip down to keep me company?"
"Yes"
"But right now you're not doing it" she pouted. 
"Ohhh, so does my billo want me naked?"
She blushed and nodded. 
Ari booped her nose and stood up to take off his boxers.
She gasped and touched her mouth. "Arre baapre"
"What?" Ari blurted, puzzled. 
"That's….big," she pointed at his dick. 
"Ah, how you make it and my ego bigger Khaim Sheli," he said as he gave her a half smile and turned around to look for a condom in his pocket. 
She watched as he rolled one on his dick and gave it a few tugs. When he walked over to her, she squirmed and squeezed her legs shut in fear, making Ari chuckle. 
"Hey hey babygirl, what's the matter, hmm?"
"Ari I don't know how that's not gonna hurt," she whined. 
"Relax baby, here, let me make you feel good," he whispered as he started kissing down her body again. He reached her mound and caressed her thighs gently. 
"I'm gonna prep you and help you relax baby girl, did you think I was just gonna push it in, hmm my Billo?"
"Y-yeah? Isn't that what men do?"
"Annnndd what was it that you wanted to try? Which your girlfriends talked about?" 
"Going down?"
"Yes," he kissed her mound gently and slowly parted her thighs. Then he kissed her inner thighs, deliberately rubbing his beard along them which made her shiver. 
"Ari," she let out a breathy whimper. 
"Yes Billo?"
"Feels good,"
"Mm hmm. Now you can make yourself feel good too" he said as he continued teasing her by kissing and licking all over her inner thighs. 
"Ahhh Ari, it throbs"
"Where baby?"
"Down there"
"Where?"
"My-my pussy"
"Mm that's right baby. Does she need me?"
"Yes," she gasped as she parted her legs more and bucked her hips up towards Ari's mouth. Ari chuckled and nuzzled her cunt. He loved the scent and his mouth watered, eager to get a taste. 
"Touch yourself, love. Touch your boobs, your body, wherever it feels good," he said, his voice going gruff due to his arousal. He was fully hard now against his thigh. 
Maddy obeyed and started letting out the cutest whimpers. Unable to wait anymore, Ari buried his face into her pussy and started eating her out. She tasted amazing, a little bit salty but once she got wetter Ari couldn't get enough. He very cautiously wiggled one finger into her opening, which led to Maddy's body jolting off the floor with surprise at the sudden intrusion. Ari looked up and saw that she was groping her own breasts as he instructed, but right then, she was looking at him with her mouth open in shock and she had snapped her legs shut and caged his body in between them. 
"Metuka," he didn't break eye contact with her as he turned his head and kissed her inner thigh. "It'll help if you relax, yeah?" His other palm stroked her waist and crept up to stroke her belly. He moved his finger inside her, stroking her walls which were squeezing him very tightly. He touched the roof of her channel and she instantly gasped and her eyes rolled back in her head. She dropped her neck back down and resumed touching her breasts. 
He felt her getting wetter and more lax so he slid one more finger in. Her hand grasped his which was resting on her belly and she tried to turn his palm up to twine her fingers with them. Ari's heart lurched at how adorable she was being. He did as she wanted and stroked her inner walls more with his other hand, scissoring and searching for her g-spot. 
When he found it, she gasped his name and Ari started sucking her clit at the same time. He licked around her opening and found that she really liked being stroked along her side walls, as she was the most responsive when she did that. Ari was painfully hard at this point and wanted to stroke himself very badly, but seeing as his hands were occupied, he ground his hips into the floor instead. 
Ari realized he couldn't wait any longer or else he would cum. He sped up his fingers and mouth, causing Maddy's gasps and moans to come closer and faster. She started breathing hard and clenching around his fingers. She even clutched his hand tighter and her hips started to quiver. Ari licked her harder and shook his head a little, rubbing his beard against her inner thighs and causing her to get even more worked up. He let go of her hand and clutched her boob, teasing her nipple with his thumb. 
Suddenly Maddy lifted off the floor again and shouted his name. He felt a small trickle against his hand working in her pussy and realised she just came. She dropped back down slowly, breathing hard, her skin flushed and shining with sweat. She gave Ari a tired smile and he returned it. 
"Good, huh?"
"Yes."
Ari kneeled above her. She made grabby hands for him and he leaned his face close to her. 
"Wanna kiss you. Come here" she mumbled and wrapped her hands around his neck. Ari complied after licking his lips as he wasn't ready to let go of her taste just yet. He moaned into their kiss as his dick rubbed against her wet pussy, and she clamped her thighs on his hips. 
"Metuka, I need to have you now. Please let me in?" He begged her with his eyes. 
She bit her lip and nodded, turning her head to one side. 
"Hey," he said as he made her face him again. 
"Do you trust me?"
She nodded again. 
"Well then, I'm gonna try to make it good for you, yeah?" He said as he rubbed the head of his penis against her clit. She gasped again and bit her lip. 
"Do you want this, metuka?"
"Yeah, feels good," she whispered. 
"Then just close your eyes and feel it," he said as he kissed her forehead. He dropped one hand down to place himself at her entrance and slowly pushed in. 
Her chest heaved and her back lifted as he tried to push his spongy head inside. Once he popped in, he had to pause and breathe because she was squeezing him too hard. He held her waist in his hands to stop her from squirming too much and pushed in with some effort as he was met with some resistance. 
He rubbed her clit to give her sparks of pleasure as he pushed past the barrier. She gasped loudly and Ari winced, knowing what it was. 
He had just popped her cherry. 
"Ohhh metuka, fuck baby, you're so tight," he dropped his forehead in her neck and kissed her salty skin. "Does it hurt?
"Yeah, it hurts a little bit," she said as she sounded strained. 
"I'm sorry ahuvati, just a little more, yeah?"
"Mm hmm," she said, her eyes blown wide. "You're big."
Ari gave her a half smile and kissed her lightly. "All the better to please you," he winked and thrust deep inside her. 
As he went deeper his own eyes rolled back in his head as she felt amazing deep inside. Tight, warm and wet. Squeezing and pulsing around him. The way he was throbbing he knew he wasn't gonna last long. 
"Baby," he panted as he drew back and thrust forward, "I'm sorry I'm not gonna last long. You feel terrific around me, fuck." 
"I'm, oh, Ari,"
"Does it feel good?"
"Yeah,"
"Touch your clit baby, show me how you like it," he said as he kept thrusting shallowly. 
"Ari, I'm….fuck. I fantasized about this once," she bit her lip and closed her eyes. 
Ari perked up at that. "What did you say?"
"I…I touched myself while thinking of you,"
Ari throbbed harder and went deeper when she confessed that in her sweet breathy voice. 
"When was this?"
Her hand was working on her clit now and she was lost to pleasure. Apparently his shy girl only spoke the truth when she was turned on, "oh, oh….it was after I met you for the first time," 
"Metuka you naughty girl, you wanted me all along hmm?"
"Mm hmm"
"You little vixen. Then why did you need your friend to send me a picture of you in lingerie?"
"I'm shy, okay?"
"Not so shy now are we?"
"Mmm no. Feels so good."
"Yeah? Fuck you're right, if I fucked you without a condom, I won't even make it for 2 minutes. Fuck, you'll kill me that day."
"Ari I'm close, can I cum?"
"Asking for my permission like a good girl yeah? Go on, do it," Ari panted as he felt himself getting close too. 
She gripped his hair with one hand tight as she moaned and squirted around him hard. The feeling of her walls pulsing tighter and tighter caused Ari to curse loudly and cum deep inside her. 
Ari panted in her neck, coming down from his high. Maddy whimpered when he pulled out and immediately curled in on herself. She didn't make a sound, just kept hiccuping and shivering. 
Ari frowned. He was worried. Why wasn't she talking to him? Was she hurt? Oh shit, was she bleeding? She was a virgin after all, of course the first time must've been painful. And he had definitely felt her tissue tear. 
Shit. 
He shook her arm. "Maddy? Billo? Talk to me. Are you okay?"
"Mmmmm." She raised one hand weakly but dropped it again. 
"Billo, why are you shivering? What happened?"
"Mmm Ari, I'm exhausted." She moaned. 
"Are you cold?"
"No."
"Then why are you shaking?"
"Dunno"
Ari realized that she wasn't shaking because of the cold but from the aftershocks of her orgasm. He looked down at her folded thighs. He could see her cum trickling out of her pussy and slightly tinged in red. Shit. Quickly he got up and fetched a towel from the bathroom which he had run under the sink tap to wet it. 
He gingerly turned Maddy over. "Sorry sorry babe, I'm just cleaning you up" he pacified her as she whined like a baby. Ari grinned to himself, looked like she had gone into a floaty post sex headspace. 
In other words, Ari had fucked her stupid. He did that to her. He felt proud. 
"I'm gonna clean you here, okay? I'm sorry if it stings" Ari winced and took a deep breath as he gently wiped her cunt. 
Maddy moaned and thrashed against him, but she was as weak as a newborn kitten. Ari made quick work of that and got up to leave again. 
"Noooo" she wailed. "Don't goooo. I'm cold." 
"Just a minute metuka, I'll be right back," he said as he scampered away. He dumped the towel in her bathroom and threw his condom in the dustbin. He pulled on his boxers and went to pick Maddy up. 
She moaned again. "Shhh I'm taking you to bed love," he said as he carried her to her bedroom. Suddenly he felt guilty. "Sorry love, you deserved to have your first time on a bed. I'm so sorry," 
Maddy wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a weak smile. "That's okay Ari…at least it was with you. I'm glad." 
Ari fell more in love with her after hearing her sweet words. He placed her on the bed and draped her cozy blanket over her. 
"Cuddle Ari," she said as she raised her arms for him, beckoning him. Ari smiled and held her in his arms as he slipped under the cover. 
"Comfy?"
"Yeah," she said as she nuzzled her head in the space between his neck and chest. 
"Ari. Don't leave tomorrow morning, please?" She yawned as she hugged him closer. 
Ari wrapped his arms around her and rubbed circles on her back. "No metuka. I'll be right here. Promise." He said as he drifted off with a smile.
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a-heart-of-flame · 3 months
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Hello, how are you? If your free readings are open, may i ask for one please? Can I ask for a msg from my FS? I'm older, suffer from extreme social anxiety due to which i rarely go out so i fear I might not be able to meet him. So if there's a person for me who is meant to be in my life, then I'd like a msg from him please. 🙏 Thanks a lot for this opportunity 🙏. Hugely appreciate it 💙. I'm C, sun sag, moon aries, she/her, interested in men, he/him. Thanks a ton again.
Hello C, Thank you for requesting a reading from me! Below the cut is your reading, and if you have any feedback for me once you've gone through it I would love to hear it ♥
I am not someone who "channels" messages, nor do I do readings that would try to determine another person's thoughts or feelings as it's not within my ethical paradigm to do so. I did however take the liberty of framing your request in a way that centered on you and what might help you towards a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone ♥ My questions became: 1. How would C find more safety/security with her anxiety? 2. How might C find a relationship/What is needed for C to find a relationship that is happy and fulfilling? The cards on the left is for 1. The cards on the right is for 2.
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My interpretation: 1. Do not set or hold "unbridled" expectations of yourself, being a cautious person is not a bad thing and if you could let go of the worries about being a person who suffers with anxiety, you will be better off for it. Easier said than done, I know! Also examine the structures and protective measures you have built up because of your anxiousness. It is natural that when we are anxious, fearful or nervous that we seek to shelter or protect ourselves. However sometimes we go overboard on these protections, not without justification mind you. Our necessary defenses can become our own imprisonment. They can cut us off from others in such a way that we end up harming ourselves instead. Try to examine where in your life you might have done this, and see if any of those defenses could begin to be dismantled. This would serve you greatly in your living with anxiety. This is not me telling you that you need to get rid of your anxiety all together, as that is not realistic. Merely to look at where you might have overdone it with self-preservation. 2. The cards repeat the message of self-acceptance here in The World. An inner unity is strongly encouraged in this Major Arcana card, as a constant inner conflict makes it difficult to connect with others in a deep way. Anxiety and self-doubt are common in many of us, myself included, but while they do not need to be eradicated (which is very unrealistic to begin with.) they need boundaries. If we allow our fears to run the show then we are never truly living our own lives, merely following along in a way. It is perfectly okay to be anxious, and sometimes we need to simply accept that we are anxious and that's okay. Fighting with it or feeling ashamed of it for example are one-way tickets to misery for sure. Seek to give yourself some grace, seek to give yourself some peace even if you cannot stop being anxious, then allow yourself to BE. Lastly the cards suggest to seek a person who is mature and wise, but whose heart is brave and strong. Their bravery might just encourage your anxiousness to dare a little! ♥ Much Love, Safi
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Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 08
Warning: ANGST. With capital letters. So much trauma, anger, crying and death you guys. It was so hard for me to write, it was emotionally challenging, so it might do the same to some of you by reading it. There's also swearing in it.
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Beetlejuice floated right through the wall between Rei's and Ari's room. He stretched his back with closed eyes and a huge smile, his bones cracking like dry branches in the wind.
- Oh babes you couldn't possibly imagine how happy I am right now! I heard a genuine scream coming my way! Ah man I haven't heard any of those in a decade, it sounded so... - Beetlejuice opened his eyes. The room was almost empty, only Sirius was inside. Couple of sewing patters were scattered on the floor, next to the already cut-out parts of a cornflower blue dress. BJ blinked at Ari's laptop; the podcast she was listening to has been stopped. - ...kinky. - he finished his sentence in a lowered voice.
He suddenly turned his head to the open window as he realized that a muffled voice came from outside. Sirius scuffled for a bit when he heard the noise and growled when Beetlejuice moved past him. The demon climbed out to the roof, following the noises. Ari was sitting at the farthest end, wrapped in an oversized dark green knitted cardigan. Beetlejuice almost called out to her, scolding her for disappearing when he had such great news but he stopped himself when he realized what the voices were. Ari was crying.
- Babes? - asked Beetlejuice, as he lowered his raspy voice. - What's going on? - Ari quickly turned to the demon's voice's direction. She had a used tissue in her hand. She quickly tried to cover her face with her hair but Beetlejuice saw what she was hiding. Her emerald eyes were all puffy and red, her nose was swollen and full-blooded too, and her lips looked like she didn't drink any water in a week. Her voice was cracking a bit as she started talking.
- Oh, it's nothing, Bug, just... - she beckoned with her hand. Beetlejuice heard as she tried to pull herself together. She let out a huge breath. - ...it's just my mental health issues. They're acting up again. - Beetlejuice stepped next to her as she cleared her throat. - Just gimme a sec, I'll be alright and you can tell me what you have done to my poor sister.
- Nonono, there's something wrong here. - he sat down next to Ari. Her legs were pulled close to her chest as she has enclasped them. She put her chin on her knees, showing as little of her face as she could. - You had a bad day last week when your anxiety was thriving. This is not like that. - Ari smiled lightly. Her wet eyelashes juddered, which made them glisten in the beams of moonlight.
- You really got to know me in the past couple weeks, didn't you?
- Yeah, that... and you also made me sit through 13 episodes of Therapy, which is an awful series by the way, so I'm basically a mind-scientist now. - Ari snorted while she let out a small, sad laugh. - So tell Doctor B, what's going on here, patient number one? - Ari let go of her knees and huffed out. She let her legs dangle off of the roof. She didn't look at Beetlejuice's direction, she just watched the darkness pass by under her feet.
- I... I got to know why do I hear you.
Beetlejuice scrowled and shook his head.
- I'm not following, please explain why does that makes you sad? I thought you wanted to know... - he stopped as Ari rubbed her temples and sighed. She kept her eyes closed while she was talking.
- B., of course I wanted to know! I wanna help, don't think otherwise, it's just... - she clenched her jaw, swallowed her saliva then continued. - The memories. They make me so goddamn angry and sad at the same time.
- I don't get it. - Beetlejuice sounded clueless. He didn't really know what she was talking about. As Ari clicked with her tongue, Beetlejuice moved closer to her and leaned even closer to her ear. His voice was as raspy as always, but he sounded much more sweet and kind. Almost gentle. - Maybe... Talking will help. I don't know, Dr. Phil says it does a lot. - Ari opened her eyes and breathed out. Her breath was jerky.
- The podcast I was listening to, you know, the one about the extraspecial demons, well... - Beetlejuice looked down at Ari's hands. She was sinking her nails into her fingertips. She must have been doing this for at least an hour, since some already left dark purple marks on her fingerpads. Beetlejuice put his hand over Ari's. The cold air made the girl shiver a bit but it also made her stop. - The show started with the hosts talking about how they invited a parapsychologist into the show so he could tell the audience interesting things about demons generally before they start to talk about the different types. So the guy said really interesting stuff, hands down, it really was good, but then he said that after a certain type of trauma, some people develop a weird... "ability". - she used her hands to emphasize the word then let them fall onto her lap again. She sighed. - Do you want to hear the long story of why do I hear you, or the short version? - Beetlejuice flinched his eyes.
- I prefer long and thick things so give it to me, baby. - Ari didn't react to his joke. She'd didn't even smile. She looked like she was was collecting her strength. After a couple minutes of silence, she finally started to speak.
- Bug, have you ever seen how my abdomen looks?
That was a sudden question.
- No? - he said in a kind of shy voice. He didn't wanna upset her more. She seemed just as miserable as furious. - You said no croptops until it's at least 30 °C... Why? - Ari breathed in and layed a bit back. She started to roll her olive t-shirt up on her belly.
Beetlejuice gasped and held his palm before his mouth. The tips of his hair started to turn into red and purple at the same time.
- Who... Who did that to you?!? - Beetlejuice held his hand above the three scars that Ari had on her abdomen. They were shapeless, with rigged edges and at least 5 centimeters long each.
- They've been with me since I was 17. - she sniffled a bit as she let her shirt down. She pulled one of her knees close to her chest again, and put her elbow up on it. - Don't worry, I already got used to them. I don't love them, but they're stuck with me so... - she sighed and look at Beetlejuice's direction. - You sure you wanna hear this story? I might cry. I might get furious and start screaming. You wouldn't like either.
- It's true that nothing is sexier than laughing and screaming of terror, but I'd surely get hard, seeing you deranged with anger. - Ari snorted at the demon's arousing voice. He actually just tried to cover up the fact that all he wanted was to kill whoever did that, and then hug the girl tight.
- Get ready for a love story that is basically horror at best... The kind where the hero still... Gets broken in the end. - she sighed and looked up at the stars. - This fucked up story starts half a year before I got my scars. I started dating a guy named... - she gulped and closed her eyes. - Matthias. - she opened her eyes with a sigh. - Gods, I hate to say his name out loud. It makes me wanna gag. It was a teenage love, I didn't see or didn't want to see his faults and I totally fell head over feet for him. You know what I'm talking about, right?
- Totally. - he had no clue.
- So you know, it was fun in the beginning. He was older than me, so nice and funny. He escorted me basically everywhere, and it just felt so good to be with him. - she sighed. - I thought that he was just worried when he told me I shouldn't go to a party with my friends cause "the world is filled with creeps", but later I realized that he was just simply possessive. - she sighed, sounding annoyed, and looked straight into the darkness of the night. - I started feeling anxious because of him when he started to tell me where could I go and what could I wear. "That's too showing, you can show that much skin only to me!" - she said in a mimicking voice. Then her face turned so dark so quickly. - He told me that if I wasn't acting nice, or behave, or do exactly as he says, that would make him look bad before his friends and a good girlfriend wouldn't want that. Shit, man, we've been together for 4 months only but I was so unstable because of him and massive bullying in school that I turned out to be an anxious wreck. - she clicked her tongue, got up and started to walk up and down, her bare feet tapping on the roof. - We went out one day, and during our "date" he repeatedly told me how I was not smart enough, pretty enough, ENOUGH, and he was with me just because no one else would want me. After he dropped me off at home, I started crying my heart out to my mom. - her eyes got teary again, but there was so much anger in her voice. - Gods she's such a wonderful woman. She taught me how to be brave, how to be strong enough to be myself. And at that moment she made me realize how I'm starting to lose my badass, weird but awesome self because of this stupid cabrón! - she kicked the air. Her breathing was so fast, and her body was radiating so much heat it could almost warm Beetlejuice up. She breathed out with a sigh. - Shit, I must look like a crazy person. Excuse me. I sometimes use spanish words when I'm experiencing a strong feeling. Multilingual things. Cabrón means...
- Pendejo, fucker, asshole, I know. - that sudden cut-in brought Ari down back to earth quickly. She knitted her eyebrows. - I had an argentinian girlfriend who taught me a bit spanish. I can cuss just perfectly. - he tried to sound calm. He really did. But oh boy he was not. The way the emotions changed on Ari's face made him remember some of his past traumas, and that made him feel a lot of different things at the same time. And he was also furious at this asshole of an ex.
Ari sat down again. She breathed out to calm herself down. After a minute of frozen silence, the demon started to talk.
- This whole thing is fucked up, you know. The whole being told what to do and where to go and how to look... - said Beetlejuice in a low manner. His raspy voice sounded... sad? He cleared his throat, even though, being dead, he didn't have to, it just felt good. - I'll totally regret this, but since we're doing this overly honest heartfelt shit that I normally hate, and I'm very much irritated by it, let me tell ya... - he looked at Ari as his hair turned more purple. - I can relate to you. My mother did the same shit to me. She made me feel worthless, a piece of shit that didn't deserve any love. - he sighed and looked up at the moon. He chuckled a bit, his voice went back from soft to normal quickly. - Dear God slash Satan, your emotional bullshit is contagious, Ari. I gotta stop hanging out with you.
Ari smiled lightly.
- You couldn't. You love chilling with me. - the demon scretched his stubbles and let out a tiny laugh.
- True. I'm hooked on that fine ass of yours. - Ari laughed a bit. She looked where Beetlejuice's voice came from previously, and held out her hands.
- You know, I wouldn't really feel it, it won't exactly be a real hug, but if you want to... - Beetlejuice didn't let this opportunity go, he basically jumped into Ari's embrace instantly. He almost fell over her body, and he couldn't really wrap his hands around her, but being this close felt so good. Ari's body radiated so much heat and hearing her heart pitter-patter inside her chest made him forget how she didn't even see him. They both smiled. - Thanks for telling me a bit about your origin story. I know it's hard to talk about these kind of shits.
Beetlejuice let Ari go and sit back a bit, still staying close to the girl. She let her hands down.
- I'm only this honest with you cause you told shit to me too. - the demon lowered his raspy voice. - But if you tell anyone about my problems, even though we are bffffs forever, I'll skewer you like a pig. Understood? - Ari swallowed and blinked nervously while nodding. Beetlejuice continued like he didn't say anything threatening. - Anyway, I still don't know why do you hear me. Are we getting there soon? - Ari nodded again and rubbed her cheek.
- Yeah, sure, buckle up for the worse part of the ride, buddy. - she cleared her throat. - When the next day I went over to his place to break up with him and to tell him that I belong to no one, and he doesn't have the right to tell me what to do, he hit me. He slapped me so hard that my cheek ripped up a bit. - she pulled her hair back a bit, revealing a tiny scar on her left cheekbone. - The next day he called me, told me that he's sorry and he didn't want to hurt me. I hang up on him quickly and got a new number the same day. I wanted him gone. But it didn't take him much time to get my new number. He called me a thousand times. But since I didn't answer, he started to follow me. Watching from the street while I was at school. Creeping around the studio I sang at. - she sniffled as her eyes started to get teary, but she quickly wiped them with the sleeve of her cardigan - You know, I called the cops. I told them everything. And they told me they couldn't do anything until he hurts me. - she chuckled in an annoyed way. She fuckin chuckled. - They didn't have to wait for that for so long.
- WHAT?! - shouted Beetlejuice which made Ari jump a bit. He jumped up in anger, the tips of his hair shining in bright red. - THOSE GUYS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE, NOT TELL THEM TO "GET FUCKIN HURT THEN WE'LL TALK"?!? - he squatted down next to Ari. - Let me guess, that son of a bitch ex of yours caused those fuckin scars?!?
-...yes... - said Ari with bated breath. Beetlejuice scraffed his fluffy hair and unshaven face. - I was walking home late from a rehearsal, mom was at work, and when I was already at our street, he stepped up to me out of nowhere, started to tell me how he's gonna change and after I pushed him, and told him to leave me alone since I fuckin hate him and I don't belong to him... He said that if I don't wanna belong to him, then I'll belong to no-one. And he... - tears started running down her cheeks. - Stabbed me. Again. And again.
- THIS... MOTHER FUCKER... - he bit his fist and started to babble. - I mean yeah sure I kinda get it I'm a bit possessive too, also creepy, but I'm pretty sure he could get an another hot goth chick and...
- HE KILLED ME, MAN! - screamed Ari into the abyss. Beetlejuice froze in his movement.
- W...What? - Ari sat still, hands covering her mouth. Beetlejuice squatted down next to her again. - Babes did I hear that right? - she shut her eyes and sighed. She let her hands go and stared down from the roof.
- Yes. - she said. Her voice was so weak. - A neighbor saw what happened and called the ambulance. I got rushed into hospital and... I went under surgery. They had to remove a part of my intestines asap... They got damaged from the stabs... And while I was knocked out... My heart decided to give up on me. And I died.
Beetlejuice sat down at the brim of the roof. He was shocked.
- I... suppose that's why you have a fixation with death? - he asked calmly. Ari shrugged and lifted her hands up.
- Partly... Other than the fact I was born on Halloween so it's basically in my blood... I think what really caused my obsession is that I remember every goddamn second of being dead. I remember seeing my body, covered in blood, and as I realized what was going on, I started panicking about how much more I wanted to do and how young I was to die. - she sighed with a light, not so real smile. She sounded so damaged. The demon could hear the pain in her voice. - 🎶And so, being young and dipt in folly, I fell in love with melancholy.🎶 - she looked at Beetlejuice's direction after she wiped her tears off with a tissue. - I was dead for 4 minutes before they brought me back. More or less. Looks like that's why I hear you. Many folks who die and come back develop this... "ability" to see or hear creatures from other dimensions. My special power is to hear demons, as it turns out. - she looked at the demon's direction. - Good for you I winded up in this house.
- I'm so happy about that. I couldn't ask for a better breather partner in crime in my dreams. - Ari heard in his voice that he was smiling. Oh if she could see his lightpink hairtips too... - What happened after? - asked Beetlejuice. Ari lifted her eyebrows a bit. - I mean, I hope the fucker got what he deserved and someone killed him. - Ari bit his lips in frustration, and sighed.
- Not exactly... At least he didn't got what I think he would have deserved. - she stretched out her legs. - While I was in the hospital for 8 months, on full-time mental and physical therapy by the way, I filed a report against him and got him arrested. I was so relieved... Then I heard he only got 3 years. - she fumbled through her hair. - Seriously, he fuckin put someone in intensive care for months and all he got was a couple of years then adiós, go on your fuckin way my man?! - she let out an angry growl. - Just because, and I quote, "he was young and could have a bright future", yes, that's what the jury said... - she huffed. - But the good thing is, right after he got out, he violated the restraining order that I got against him. He came to the house that Sofi, Rei, my mom and I lived in. You know, they moved in with us after I got out of the hospital because... For the first 5 or six months, I was afraid to go out without company. So my sisters helped a lot. They even kind of made me forget how my friends left me, because "I was acting overdramatic and why couldn't I just forget and be happy". - Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows and shook his head.
- The fuck is wrong with people... - Ari let out an annoyed chuckle.
- Oh my man, most of them are awful fellas. After this, I didn't even care that I missed my prom. - she swallowed her saliva and leaned back so she could gaze the stars. - So yeah, back to the subject, that pendejo came to our house in the middle of the night and demanded my mom to take him to me cause he wanted to say sorry because he missed me so much and wanted us to start a new chapter. - Ari rubbed her temples. - The police acted quickly this time and put him into jail for 3 more years. - she sighed. - Not that I think that's enough... But it was enough for us to find a new home and move away from him, as far as we could.
Beetlejuice waddled closer to her, and layed down as well.
- You know what's the weirdest thing about you, scarecrow? - Ari chuckled.
- Besides the fact that my best buddy is a demon? - BJ laughed a bit too. - No idea, Bug.
- That you're so full of life, and so goddamn annoyingly positive. If you wouldn't tell me, I wouldn't know you had so much shit to deal with. - Ari put her hands up in the air while shrugging.
- Look, I already know how does it feel to die. By the time I turned 19, I decided I'd try how does it feel to be alive. And when I'm not a mess, oh boy, it's so much fun! - Beetlejuice turned to his side and looked at the girl.
- You’re not a mess babes, you’re a... spicy disaster! - Ari laughed. It was so nice to hear that adorable laugh again. BJ looked straight into her emerald eyes that were gleaming in the moonlight. - You know, doll, I'm really sorry for creeping around. If I would've known, I... - he shut up as Ari gestured with her hand.
- You didn't know. It's alright. I hate being followed, but you're so goddamn chatty that it doesn't feel creepy at all. Plus, you're not human, which makes me more comfortable. It's somehow nice to have you weirdo around.
For a couple of minutes, they just laid there, both watching the stars. It was so peaceful, but something still bugged Beetlejuice and he just couldn't let it go.
- Hey, babes? - Ari turned her head to his direction.
- Yeah?
- If he ever finds you, can I kill your ex-boyfriend?
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