I think a lot of sakura hate is undeserved. Like ik she's said and done some things that were out of pocket, but then again so did almost everyone else and no one else gets scrutinized as much as her. I don't even like her and her fans are incredibly annoying, but I feel this much is true. I think she'd still be one of the most hated characters in all of anime if her undeserved hate went away, so it doesn't really make much of a difference. I feel like her hate is kinda like sasuke's, sometimes it feels like he gets hated on just for being sasuke bc ik some things he's done would've been swept under the rug if another, more popular character did it (eg when he killed some samurai) for sakura, there are lots of incel fanart memes dudebros made to make fun of her, so it seems like they hate her for just being a woman who rejected a loser man and likes a better man. It's no wonder her fans are so annoying, that's what happens when your fave character gets undeserved constant hate. My fave is sasuke and sometimes even I wanna do some petty annoying shit just to piss his haters off too lol. Also since she's a woman, there's definitely some misogyny at play when her character is being analyzed by men. Or even women with internalized misogyny. It's stupid to deny that, misogyny is the most normalized oppression everywhere. So many ppl don't even realize they're being misogynistic, that's how normal it is. Sure it's not always the case but ignoring it is just being dumb. Her fans using the misogyny card to actual genuine criticism is definitely stupid though. Like it's possible to not like a woman and not be misogynistic ofc. Also when they use that when sns fans ship sasuke with naruto instead of sakura, that's even dumber 😂 how is not shipping a woman with a man and instead shipping him with another man misogynistic in any way lol. But yeah, I'm definitely not on her fans side, or even a fan of her myself, but I can still acknowledge this

+ 2 Asks - long post:

When talking about critiquing characters and analyzing stories, it doesn't really matter who's doing the talking – whether they're fans, critics, or just people who love or don't love a particular show or character. We can't always figure out why (especially anonymous) people feel the way they do and how do we even discern the motivation or background of those who do so? —whether they're misogynistic, incels, dudebros, fans, or critics of whatever other stories, among other factors. In fact, in this case it’s pretty irrelevant? Or only relevant here because you brought it up.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t take away the fact that a significant portion of the 'Naruto' audience finds Sakura's character unlikable. She consistently is found at the center of conversations about the most disliked Anime characters. This is ultimately a reflection of storytelling, rather than solely an audience reaction. And that leads to a broader discussion about Kishimoto’s writing where many blame his lack of skill in writing when it comes to the portrayal of female characters. (Opinions may vary, so does mine.) Dismissing criticism by categorizing critics as incels or misogynists is oversimplifying it tbh because of course they harbor specific biases against a character like Sakura which in itself isn’t fair and would definitely make it ‘undeserved’. (I really wouldn’t use that term for a fictional character unless we talk about the story itself tbh.) You yourself say “not always the case...” So that doesn't mean Kishimoto's portrayal of Sakura or any other character, and the genuine criticism she receives for universally disliked traits, is any less valid. Many perceive her as selfish, and Kishimoto himself has used that specific term (and even worse) to describe her. So, you can’t deny that this foundation of her character exists. Her decisions and behavior make sense even if people preferred to see it differently. 

Though, when analyzing, it is important to keep the Shinobi world in mind, and only our own as reference. And that’s exactly why the hatred Sasuke gets is not the same.... :

The amount of hate/criticism has nothing to do with a comparison though. Sakura's actions are often deliberately misunderstood, twisted to fit certain narratives that are in her favor and even exaggerated to counteract the hate like the first ask said. On the other hand, Sasuke is generally misunderstood and is hated for it. Often not getting even a tiny bit of compassion because some people struggle to see beyond his exterior and just ride the Naruto-verse’s moral/value waves from the narrative. Where the entire point was that those ideals needed change. 

SAVE HIM!? Why is it always so actively ignored that Sakura tried to kill Sasuke twice but him defending himself or fighting back is ‘so incredibly evil’? This ‘resolve’ of hers becomes even more significant to Kishimoto’s message when we consider that she intentionally represents the same ideals that led to the genocide and with that- agreed to eliminate him without attempting to understand him even once. Repeating history in the meantime where, again, that change is necessary. And you start with trying to understand the other, something Naruto had to learn too and actively had to find that answer by himself. Never once did she actually listen to Sasuke when he tried to open up and instead twisted the few words he got out to make it about herself. Not only disregarding his (and Naruto’s) trauma but shitting on it, thinking he, of ALL people, would feel happy with her abandoning her family and friends for him and comparing her feeling lonely without Sasuke to his entire clan being murdered what forced him to grow up alone. I mean, hello? Kishimoto was saying something very loudly there and it’s nothing positive about Sakura and that certainly has nothing to do with a lack of writing skills, the opposite actually. Even if she was briefly a teammate, she rightfully became irrelevant to him, and her decision to get rid of the (in her and the world's eyes) “criminal” was entirely for her own sake because she couldn't bear to see her crush behave like one and deal with her irrelevance.  

She rejected everything Sasuke wanted, needed, and desired, including his central 'why' in the story. She reduced him to a moody handsome boiii with no goals of his own, one she neither could nor wanted to understand. She tried to insert herself into his goals without him giving her any reason to, and when unsuccessful, she wanted to discard them altogether thinking he was ‘too far gone’. Like Sasuke as a person as a whole was her ‘burden’ to bear simply because she wanted to be somewhat relevant. Even Kakashi said it :/ although he thought she did it all out of the kindness of her heart. (Ffs, Kakashi I like you, but no.) Now, please consider EVERYTHING and then think again why Sakura thought of Sasuke as a burden or why she felt burdened by him while lying about her trust in him to Sai? 👀

The importance of Sasuke having a goal is immense because he grapples with survivor's guilt. A goal provides a reason to keep going, a way to carry the pain and blame he places on himself. It allows him to be strategic and have a plan, which is the only source of hope that things may eventually improve. He rejected what Naruto stood for because he found it distracting and hard to trust at that point. OF COURSE he fought so fucking hard against it. No matter his feelings for Naruto, relying solely on effort like Naruto wasn't something he could do. Especially considering how his beloved brother had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

Now, here's a question for you: why would Sakura need to receive compassion or 'deserve' it when, as a character, she rarely demonstrated it herself, especially when it comes to the person she claims to like so much? And if anyone thinks that was out of love in any way, which it wasn't, then what does it all mean for Naruto????

If you genuinely believe there was any point in the story Sakura tried to save Sasuke for Sasuke’s sake then I hope you’re able to read the story again and question this very rigorously for yourself. Not just her actions, but what Kishimoto tried to actually show/tell and use them to measure how it stands against the bigger Themes also.  

Lastly: the whole point of needing to kill Naruto was BECAUSE he cared for him lol, read Sasuke's monologue again if it helps. That his bond with Naruto had too much of an impact on Sasuke. His one and only, his most important person/friend, only bond left that kept him from truly being alone, Naruto’s life in itself too much of a threat to his heart even when separated, blabla- should I go on? 🤔      

I remember a few years ago there was a conversation about young parenthood on your blog and I found it really refreshing, especially since it's hard to hear about queer parenting in the first place unless you're actively seeking those stories out. Feel free to ignore, but how did you ever find the courage to navigate life as a queer young parent in an increasingly cis-centric world, and, if I can ask, what have been some unexpected positives about it (or positives you didn't think would happen but happened). (Sorry this is so formal, lol, I don't know whats up with me)

honestly, i have such a strong set of beliefs that i am compelled to parent in a way that is authentic to those beliefs, how i experience the world, and my own identity so it's less about courage and more about me being insufferable and correct and knowing what matters lmao

i do have the immense privilege of an incredible support system. even if the outside world is telling my kiddo that unicorns are for girls and boys shouldn't be sensitive, everyone who has a hand in raising him has a lot of the same fundamentals to teach him from. they either completely understand where i'm coming from when it comes to teaching him certain things/allowing him to express himself in certain ways, firmly believe those things themselves, or are willing to try to understand when it's something important. not having to defend myself to those close to me goes a long way. we are undoubtedly safe and comfortable and, most importantly, consistent. i don't have anyone close to him undermining us and telling him he can't cry or can't wear his hair long or that there are only two genders.

the most unexpected positive for me is talking to other parents who want to do what i do but don't really have a blueprint for it. a lot of people raise their kids like they were raised and parrot a lot of stuff their parents said and don't even realize that it doesn't align with what they actually believe or the values they want to teach their kids! they're just adhering to a script and they don't know they can go off it and make a generational change. i love having casual conversations with parents where i can refute the script and make them kind of light up in epiphany. and it's funny because it's not like i know jack shit either! we're all just learning! but sometimes what i think is obvious isn't to them and when we talk about it, it shifts their perspective. it's fun to be the person that makes them think more deliberately about how they're parenting!

anyway idk parenting is SUPER weird and it's a little bit of a landmine because it's a very sensitive subject for a lot of people, but it's between your family and your little and that's the framework that matters most. the work you're putting in at home. what you believe. what they believe. encouraging them to draw their own conclusions. we've personally done a lot of 'if you like it, that's what matters' work in the last couple of years because the kids at school telling him boys shouldn't like unicorns and he shouldn't paint his nails and pink is stupid, and while we're working on how important it is to deconstruct misogynistic thinking, he also has to has the confidence in himself and his interests outside of what his peers think of them and it's my responsibility to give him that confidence.

uhm honestly i'm not sure if that was the answer you were looking for, but thanks for asking. i really love talking about parent shit.

Why do people (especially here in tumblr) hate Tyrion so much?

I mean, from what I've seen, quite a lot of people like Tyrion, considering he's a well written character and his storylines are both some of the most compelling and the most central to one of the two core plots (the politics side of ASOIAF, while Jon's the one most central to The Others side). I think we also need to divide it up into show Tyrion and book Tyrion, because the reason people dislike show Tyrion is that he turned into a little idiot once D&D had to actually write out his plans himself and it's incredibly frustrating to watch him continually be such a fuck up but the narrative still treating him like he's in the right. Also his issues with Dany make no sense even before The Bells, which is also a heavy factor.

For book Tyrion, I mentioned it in a prior ask, but Tyrion's chapters can be genuinely hard to read. Tyrion is incredibly misogynistic - I don't consider this a flaw in the writing, GRRM is being incredibly purposeful with it and it's there for a reason and a lot of his actions are understandable, and Tyrion where he is in the books right now is in the midst of a darkening downward spiral for the furtherance of his arc - and even ignoring his actions, his constant thinking about how he wants to be violent towards various women he dislikes or sexually assault them (him constantly talking about wanting to rape and kill Cersei for thinking that he killed Joffrey when he knows she genuinely believes it, unlike Tywin who was using it as an excuse to get rid of him is particularly galling for me) can literally be draining. For me at least, it can be an actual trial to get through some of Tyrion's chapters, not just because the misogyny he exhibits is so constant, but also because this isn't a way of thinking that's isolated to ASOIAF.

The series tackles very real world issues, but still within the confines of a world and system most readers are never going to experience. It is highly unlikely that most of the readers are going to experience what it's like to live under a feudal system modeled on Middle Ages Europe and all the issues that entails, but men who feel that women owe them sex just cuz they're having it with another man (like Tyrion says to Cersei in ACOK), men who hit a significant other for saying the wrong thing (like Tyrion does to Shae in either ACOK or ASOS), men who take their own anger at their misperceptions out on other women (like Tyrion killing Shae in ASOS), men who immediately feel sexually violent when angry at women (like how Tyrion thinks about Cersei in ADWD), men who still have sex with women who are clearly not into it or in a position to consent because their pleasure matters more to them (like Tyrion with the slave in ADWD)? Those are very real men, that any female reader of ASOIAF can run into or have in her life.

There's also other stuff, I don't know how popular these reasons are but this is from my perspective, that Tyrion does that sometimes make me roll my eyes, mostly just things like not realizing that summarily banishing Janos might read badly to the general populace, or his tendency to be kinda rude to people who serve him like Pod (he's highborn, it's not unexpected but still aggravating), or even the fact that, for as smart as he is, he's nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is, especially when it comes to interacting with other people. Again, all of these are purposeful parts of Tyrion's character, they're not being done accidentally, but if I'm looking at Tyrion as a person, separate from a character constructed by an author (which I do generally try to do, since I think there's a difference between liking a character as a character and liking them as a person, similar to how I can find certain historical figures interesting but still dislike who they were as people), these also aren't things I particularly like about him.

I've said this before, but I don't think Tyrion is all bad. There's stuff I like about his arc, about how he's written, about what he means as a character and the things he does, and his place in the narrative, but as a person? No, I don't like Tyrion, and the reasons I don't like Tyrion are reasons that other people do share. It can be tough spending time in his head, what with all the aforementioned misogyny, and that can be enough of a turn off for people, especially socially conscious readers or female readers who have to deal with the real life misogyny Tyrion's is inspired from. That doesn't mean that no one likes Tyrion (most people I know actually do like him quite a lot, and he's an incredibly popular character, as well as the author's personal favorite), or that someone's a bad person for liking him, but there are reasons for the dislike some people have, and for me at least, these are mine.

YOU HATE DINOPANTS TOO???

YES SO MUCH! It just always is so reductive for the both of them. It feels like people get so into the idea that because they had an alliance they have to be coupled and because they have to be coupled that becomes the primary way they choose to understand Hot Pants as a character. I'm not super tuned into how the fandom treats Diego, but I do know that he gets boxed into a lot of tropes that largely come from DinoPants fans. Putting my thoughts on it under the cut :)

I feel like Diego retains some of his canon character in fan content because people care about the way he interacts with the rest of the male main cast from an at least somewhat analytical standpoint. Hot Pants really doesn't get that luxury because a lot of Jojo fans really aren't in it for the women unless they can ship them with somebody or offhandedly say they're kinda cool. People's perceptions of her are so distorted because they're only able to view her as Diego's goth girlfriend. They ignore her motivations and her story when it doesn't involve him. And the most important connections we see her experience are also ignored all for the most bland nothing heterosexual ship that they think is brilliant because the gender roles are flipped. They don't realize that if they fail to see the woman in a het relationship as a person outside of just her sexual role, archetype, and aesthetic they are being misogynistic. It's not unlike how manic pixie dream girls were treated in the early 2000s.

Hot Pants is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. Her relationship to guilt, loss, and sacrifice are incredibly compelling. Using a character who is a nun to tackle what sisterhood can mean is funny. Her relationship with faith and the loss of a sibling can be compared and contrasted with Pucci's backstory and relationship with Catholicism. Faith is an important theme in Jojo, especially in parts 6 and 7. Jesus is in SBR and Hot Pants is a fucking nun sent from the Vatican secret service on Jesus scavenger hunt duty. She has a stand that explicitly requires an equivalent exchange, echoing her themes of sacrifice. She dies beautifully and tragically because she had to for her arc to be truly complete. I find it absolutely infuriating that at "best" I see people joke about this stuff and at worst they just completely ignore it and replace her with a plush doll who only talks when the string on her back is pulled by a male character.

Sorry if this is like... extreme, but I've been a massive fan of Hot Pants since I was around 16. And it feels like no effort is made on peoples' parts to understand her. Especially when most fan content of her comes with Diego. It really does feel like people see her as his accessory.

S6 E6 True Q

I don't remember what happens in this episode. Even though I have mixed feelings about Q, and some Q episodes are better than others, I do enjoy John de Lancie's performances.

I like when Crusher's mama bear comes out. Q describing her as "shrill" is something I find distasteful. Possibly misogynistic.

Hang on. So Q reveals himself in a staff meeting. Data isn't in the meeting. Q teleports Picard to his ready room for a brief conversation. Once it's over Picard walks onto the bridge and talks to Data, who is at the helm and somehow already understands why Picard says that Amand's parents were Q and that Q has been on the ship.

Q is so invasive. I must say I enjoy Amanda's reaction to Q trying to take her. I'm not sure why he doesn't understand the concept of tact.

I think it's worth noting that the Q are (nearly?) omnipotent but NOT omniscient. Often the two are conflated but, since they're theoretical concepts, we don't really understand the bounds of what it would mean to be able to do any thing but not know everything. It sounds dangerous; being all powerful but not all-knowing, so you can't know the consequences of your boundless power.

Can Q bring people back to life?...

Topeka Kansas is such a mundane place to die, within the grand scheme of the universe.

I'm not sure why Amanda needs hand gestures but Q doesn't.

I can't tell if Q's lack of a space bubble lends itself to being intimate or predatory.

Riker maneuver

Amanda is pre-academy right? That's way too young for Riker (in actually the actress, Olivia d'Abo, is about 23 here and Frakes is about 40; which would still be a notable age gap.)

Times like these I wish Troi's character was better developed. She's an empath sitting next to a Q who's very jealous of Riker, Troi's on-again-off-again romantic-partner and always-friend. I want to know her read of the room!

Also: poor Riker. I think he gets manipulated most by the Q (I hate the second Q episode where Riker is given powers, but alas it is canon. Thank goodness his character moved away from whatever direction that was.)

I'm not sure what time period this is supposed to be (somewhere in the 1800's I'd guess) with Frakes it's giving me "Noth and South" vibes but could be leaning more Jane Austen; I don't know the difference. Anyway, there's something very satisfying in Frakes having sleeves that are actually the right length. I think subconsciously I'm aware of how uncomfortable the space suits always look so being free of them I feel more comfortable the way the actors look more comfortable.

Consent is so important! I appreciate how gentle Riker is when he's trying to explain why her behavior is inappropriate. I'm not sure I have my wits or talking points well enough collected to make a thorough argument now, but I'd say Riker is the most abused character after Troi. He is also the most overtly sexualized after her. (And I differentiate between being sexual and being sexualized. The latter is done to you by other people without your consent.)

Riker being forced to "love" Amanda makes me incredibly uncomfortable because of how it violates his wishes. I get the sense that she's bothered by the fact that she knows he isn't really choosing her, rather than the fact that she's forcing him against will. And that's a disturbing lack of empathy. (She definitely owes him an apology.)

This conversation between Picard and Q is fascinating. Q seems genuinely serious in a way that is incredibly rare. "With unlimited power comes responsibility. Do you think it is reasonable for us to let omnipotent beings roam free through the universe?"

I wonder if the Q couldn't just strip Amanda of her power? It happened to Q in Deja Q. Why is it up to her not to use her power? (I realize there's more Q in Voyager that I haven't watched but, from what I've seen from reddit search results, other people have had these same questions. Some posited that Amanda would be left with her powers in order to try to continually tempt her to join the Q)

So, is she going to go resurrect her parents?!? Oh, she meant her adoptive parents....well, we still don't know if the Q can bring people back from the dead.

Taishiro for 002 and Koushiro Izumi for 003

Alriiiiiight, I know I'm super predictable here, huh? 002 | Taishirou

When I started shipping them: I actually don't remember when exactly it started, but they haven't been my first Digimon ship, that's for sure. I think I maaaay have started shipping them in my later teens, upon watching the OG 01 in Japanese for the first time and couldn't unsee it anymore, though I obviously hadn't been as invested in them at the time.

My thoughts: Oooof, where do I even begin, I mean, I have probably written at least twenty meta posts about them so far, since I simply cannot shut up about how much I adore this dynamic.They go so much further than the tropes they're initially based on make you believe - it's not just brawns/brains, introverted extrovert/extroverted introvert, best friends to lovers and so on... It's also the unconditional trust and support, the way they complement and (potentially) get the best out of each other, thinking so incredibly highly of each other (without being fully able to convey that properly, which leads to a lot of frustration on my behalf, but more on that later down the line). Heck, there might even be some kind of starcrossed theme going on between them even without taking reincarnation theory into account. You just... Have the one who probably would never have gotten out of his shell as easily as he eventually did without the other, supporting him in every way he can... And the other one who actually manages to let his guard down towards him once trauma hits. They just make me go soft and I wouldn't want it any other way.

What makes me happy about them: Lots of things, actually, but mainly the complementing aspect I mentioned above, turning them into partners in crime. Plus, all the times they invade each other's personal space without even noticing or caring. The way they can affect each other in ways others can't do - even if it sometimes takes a loooot of fanfiction to elaborate on that.

What makes me sad about them: Apart from the fact that they're both nuts? That they actually don't realize how good they are for each other. And that opening up towards each other more would do both of them good. It's an ongoing theme, Koushirou basically begs Taichi to be honest with and rely on him - and you can bet, the boy would get a lot of weight off his shoulders if he finally opened up towards Taichi himself. It's frustrating. Especially when you take the subtext of them growing somewhat apart in certain parts of the series, when there are other parts that basically make them look married... Like, you know Koushirou would go to hell and back for Taichi and Taichi, on the flipside, would always sacrifice himself in order not to let the people most precious to him get hurt. So... Please talk to each other for once.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: The cheating AND the toxic/misogynist seme/uke portrayal. Yes, Koushirou is shorter and more slender than Taichi, yes, I have written entire meta posts about him having a lot of traits that may make him more effeminate at times and I enjoy seeing him turn into a blushing, stuttering mess as much as everyone else, but he's not a helpless, passive wallflower.

Things I look for in fanfic: All the cheese. All the pining. Give me a hundred chapters of them being too stupid to realize their feelings - or actually knowing about them but being too stupid to act on them. I need my happy ends though. Give me all the mutual healing. Them actually TALKING to each other. All the softness, please. Show me how they’d die for each other in all the different timelines.

My wishlist: 1.) An Our War Game sequel with them as adults, actually portraying them as still being friends/becoming close friends again (bonus points for Koushirou talking about his adoption to Taichi) 2.) Similarly to 1, a sequel post epilogue that shows them working together, because, dude their careers are 100% compatible, come on. I don't need confirmation on them being together/married/whatever, I just want to see them maintaining their bond. 3.) A reboot sequel in which they continue being partners in crime like they're supposed to be.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Oh, that's easy, my favourite second choice for Taichi will always be Sora, and my second favourite choice for Koushirou will always be Hikari. Team Light until the very end. I'll also always root for a poly Taikoura relationship, but shhh.

My happily ever after for them: If I was able to spin the wishlist further, I'd love to see them working together to ensure a symbiosis between the real and the Digital World, while also living and raising their two kids together. Domestic bliss after they've managed to talk to each other and work on their traumas together. Domestic bliss, man.

003 | Koushirou Izumi

How I feel about this character: Again, where do I even begin without writing the 7362728th novel about why I love and adore this boy so much? He has been my first favourite Digimon character ever when I was 9 years old - and now, more than twenty years later, I find myself coming back to him becoming my current comfort character. I love and adore how layered he is; people are quick to just call him a "nerd" and "infodump boy", but he is so much more than that, being a hands-on problem and riddle solver that would go to hell and back for the people he cares about, despite getting lost in the things he researches about to the point of neglecting his own needs while trying not to think about the trauma that has haunted him for years, not having known who he is, where he comes from, unsure how to approach and understand others and himself... But eventually, he is a very kind, very emotional kid who loves his family, partner and friends, who enjoys to teach and ramble, supporting wherever, however and whenever he can, a mentor and connecter. He has his issues and problems, but he's always trying his best. Yes, I may project onto him a lot at times, but that also shows me what a great job the writers did in making him human.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: As mentioned above, Taichi will always be the one for him in my eyes, the absolute Digimon OTP. Second choice, as implied, is Hikari, hands down. (Honorary mention goes to Sora - I have grown very fond of platonic!Koura, but romantic!Koura has become quite exciting to me as well - and, drum roll, Menoa. I could definitely see this becoming a thing and I'm weirdly intrigued by it, even if I rather enjoy than actually ship it.)

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: All of Team Light is absolutely delightful on a platonic level, so Taichi (best friends for life, work partners in crime), Sora (fashion buddy) and Hikari (research/photography buddy) being his closest friends will always be wonderful to me - even if canon makes it hard to maintain that sometimes. And while it really feels like he will become more of a background supporter, mainly talking to the majority of the cast through electronic devices, I actually enjoy all (potential) bonds he has with the other characters; Platonic!Koumi for example is absolutely amazing in my eyes (internet buddies), him and Yamato have actually been implied to have grown rather close in Kizuna (and the PSP game also hints at them being very compatible). Jyou and Takeru tried very hard to get through to him in Tri, so that makes me believe that they're having quite the connection as well. Him and Miyako hacking the entire world is always a fun concept, Iori will still see him as a great mentor and I reeeeally wish we would have seen more of him and Ken being amazing geniuses together.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't like the extreme nerd/geek stereotype people assign to him - he obviously can be one, but people writing him to be absolutely incapable of social interaction while being a horny idiot might be something I have to blame Tri for. And I absolutely dislike the tendency in fandom to give him the shortest end of the stick in friend/ship groups. Not sure if that's an unpopular opinion though?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wanted to see him talk to anybody about his adoption that wasn't Tentomon. Tri absolutely tried to make the others get through to him, but he literally didn't let them. It was his goal to get closer to others, become less formal at the end of 01 - and 02 did a great job at portraying him as mentor and teacher to others. But in the end, Tentomon has always been the only one who sees him breaking down. So in case the Kizuna scenario will happen to him as well one day - who's gonna catch him then? I absolutely don't want that for him, but heck, let him cry in front of his friends once, please.

Favorite friendship for this character: Still Taichi, but all of what I've written above about the other Chosen Children applies!

My crossover ship: I actually can't think of one right now, even though I'm pretty sure once you mention one or another character from another fandom, I might go "Ooooh, that could be interesting!"

i'm really not sure where to go about this now and i have a lot of friends who would fucking eviscerate me if they knew i was talking to a gender crit blog, but i need to say this to someone i know won't call me a transphobe for it. i'm not a radfem and i wouldn't call myself gender critical, i'm female & nonbinary and most of my close friends are trans. but i just really have to get this off my chest, i hope that's ok (please delete these if it isnt). disclaimers aside, 1/2 i guess

Ask series anon, I am finally able to respond to you!! Thank you for waiting :)

This answer is super long, so I'm going to tl;dr your asks so other readers can have context: anon has a nice trans woman friend and a misogynistic one; the misogynistic one has been verbally aggressive to anon and other women and is using gender identity to excuse it; anon is conflicted since many of her friends are like her nice trans friend.

(Please correct me if this is wrong, anon.)

ANYWAY. Here's the part where I answer.

All this sounds really difficult. I empathize with you. I'm going to call your friends Nice Friend and Jerk Friend in this response, and use the pronouns you used for clarity. I'm going to address your points first, and then wander off on a tangent second.

So, starting with Jerk Friend—this misogyny is something that I have seen over and over with trans-identified males (a term to group trans women and nonbinary men, abbreviated as TIMs). Upon transition, they realize they can get away with truly vile misogyny, because gender-affirming social circles (especially queer communities) refuse to address the loaded issue of their lifetime of male socialization which prevents them from having the same experiences as a natal (cis) woman. Whether this is because the community around the TIM genuinely believes their male socialization doesn't matter, or because they're afraid of backlash, or what, doesn't matter; what happens is that the TIM in question discovers they have a new weapon to wield against natal women, whom they hate. (I can elaborate on why this is, but this response is long enough already! Feel free to shoot me another ask if you want to know more.)

Basically, Jerk Friend follows a familiar pattern. Frankly, she would be an asshole regardless of transition, but transition has given her a tool with which to bludgeon women and not be called out. If she hadn't transitioned, would she have gotten away with calling you a bitch and being misogynistic to her girlfriend? If she were a natal woman or still identified as a man, would other people but you (and Nice Friend) have called her out for the way she's acting? My point here is that, whether or not she genuinely feels like a woman according to her definition, she is using her transition as an excuse for cruelty, and that is an inherently awful thing to do. Your reactions are normal and healthy, and I'm glad you set boundaries with her.

On a different topic, I'd like to address what you said in this ask:

like i don't want this to be a 'peak trans' moment for me. i love and respect my trans friends and 99% of them, no matter what they were assigned at birth, are incredibly respectful. i am not willing to sacrifice those friendships and relationships over this.

Between this and you calling Nice Friend your dearest friend, I think you're feeling guilty for having thoughts that you deem transphobic about Jerk Friend, and possibly about the effects of gender ideology in general. I 1000% know how you feel. I don't know if my perspective is an unpopular one on radblr or radfem circles in general, but as a gender critical feminist, I separate the overall trans rights movement and the harm it's causing from individual trans people. I used to ID as nonbinary—not sure if you knew—and sure, I knew some shitty people, but honestly? Most trans people I knew were trying to get by and live in a way that felt less terrible to them than the alternatives.

Now, there are plenty of critiques of people who do that, and I simultaneously agree with those critiques, and feel sympathy for trans people who are like those friends of mine, or like Nice Friend. I'm not sure if that's my libfem individualist background showing, hyperempathy, or what! But I cannot make myself hate individuals that have not caused direct harm to those around them. I don't think this disqualifies me from being gender critical or a radical-leaning feminist. I don't think that any of this makes me a bigot. And I don't think you are either.

Concerning your friend group: you might not lose all of them if you choose to voice your opinions (though I imagine those are still forming). I still have a couple friends from the local queer community (which I have since left). We hardly discuss politics anymore—we've all got shit in our lives we talk about instead—but I don't try to hide my opinions from them, and I think that if we *were* to discuss the subject of gender, none of them would drop me for my opinions. I don't know if that would have been true when we met 6 years ago, in our early-mid 20s, but frankly, all of us can see nuance now that we did not see (or maybe understand) at 22. I don't know how old you are or what your friends are like, but it's something to consider.

I reread this and it sounds like prevarication to me. Hopefully it doesn't come across that way. I find that my IRL behavior around gender ideology is a lot more complicated than when I reblog posts on tumblr! I find it hard to balance my ideals with the actions I take in reality. I have spoken to many women who *have* figured out that balance, and it usually involves becoming much more outspoken and brave than I am ready for right now. It is a process. It requires time. But as long as I continue moving forward and educating myself, I think it's okay to take some time.

Um, that paragraph may not be particularly relevant to you, but I'm going to leave it anyway. I think I addressed the main issues you brought up. And the resources I would recommend are the same ones as I gave to the other anon, along with maybe viewing @tra-receipts to see how Jerk Friend is an example of a trend and not a singular bad apple.

There's just one more thing I would like to ask you: why do you identify as nonbinary? If it is because you don't feel like a woman, then ask yourself, what is a woman supposed to feel like? If it's physical dysphoria, then what about your body makes you feel that way? Can you pinpoint any reason why?

I highly encourage you to consider this, to get a better understanding of yourself than anything else. Like I said, I used to ID as nonbinary, and I have some level of gender dysphoria (specifically related to reproductive health problems and a desperate hatred of the misogynistic objectification of my body; it took me literal years to figure that out). So I know something of where you're coming from.

To end this post: if you are on the younger side (like...22-23 and below maybe?), I'm going to post a request for advice from people that age for a different anon who is struggling with the same things you are. You can also shoot me another ask, or DM me, with your main blog if you want (I won't expose you) or with a throwaway blog.

Good luck, anon!