Back when I was in, I unno... maybe sixth grade? Seventh grade? Anyway, I was a pre-teen, my school did a weird thing. And when I say they did a ‘weird thing’, I mean my Physical Education class one day showed up with a SHIT TON of cups. We’re not talking regular cups, though. These were COMPETITION cups. These cups had holes in them and you were meant to STACK THEM WITH EXTREME SPEED!

Anyway, they were these things called Speed Stacks (TM) cups, where you try to stack them as quickly as you can in a specific way. And for, like, a week my PE class messed with these cups, challenging ourselves and others in our class to be the best Speed Stackers out there. I. Was. Obsessed. 

We were given catalogs for these cups, where you could buy a set of a dozen cups in several colors, you could buy a set of a dozen MINI cups that were a pain in the ass to stack and extremely impractical because they were about a fourth of the size of the normal ones. You could buy bags for your special cups, you could buy mats (both normal and mini sized) and timers. And by golly, you bet I came begging to my parents for some Speed Stacks cups.

Weirdly enough, they actually GOT me some. A normal set of blue cups, and a fancy-ass set of mini ones that CHANGED COLORS in the sunlight. Two mats, one for the normal set and one for the mini set, and a timer as well. I guess they were fascinated by how much I loved these dumb things and were like, “Why not indulge? It’s an interesting hobby.”

Over time I kinda stopped my stacking and moved on with life. A few months back I came across my Speed Stacks stuff and smiled at the nostalgia. Then frowned at how god awful I had become. At least I remembered the general rule of thumb though? But aside from that, after I had my fun, I stored them away once more.

Anyway, I literally just got a visceral memory of this time of my life and just purchased two more sets of cups off their website. Because they came out with fancy new shit. Plus I cackled that they had this dumb, “Anyone else you want to shop for?” and offered my original set I was gonna buy for a 60%+ discount. So I got the less expensive color I had also wanted, added on that discount set, and laughed at the fact that I spent literally the exact same amount of money. 

What am I gonna do with 4 dozen stacking cups? I have no idea. Maybe I’ll bring them out during a party and be like, “Who wants to stack cups?’ and have everyone stare at me like I grew another head.