#they know we're a bunch of thirsty bitches | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sgiandubh · 7 months

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Saw your comment: "We're not all thirsty mommies, nor 12, nor bitter bitches. I'd love to see and hear more about what is beneath that mask, not beneath that shirt." Sam has done that before. He wrote an entire book about his journey but the book is called bullshit and he a liar. He's written well-thought out articles and forewords to books. He speaks intelligently and passionately and knowledgably about his liquors and the process of getting to market, and is called a shill. His work with Prickly Thistle is expensive and taking peoples' money, even when it helped this woman-owned mill immensely. It goes on and on. Today he's been accused of hypocrisy for a plastic cup, thirst trapping to change a conversation and using his social media as a PR tool to fool gullible women. Some may want to see beneath the mask but when he's shown what he is willing to you get the above.

Dear Hypocrisy Anon,

Thank you for your thoughts. I have read your long comment very carefully and let's say I agree with about 85% of it. The itching point is, of course, the book: Waypoints is a good ghostwritten memoir I have commented at length, with a more benevolent view than most of those who found it took some substantial liberty with what they (and I, for that matter) think it's the current state of play in SC Land. Note I am not saying the truth: that's only for Them to know, not for us. So dismissing it and calling everything a lie is a bit of a stretch. It's just a memoir, to be followed by other projects, other books. And who knows, another memoir, later on, where he could correct the course again at his convenience. He's only 43. Give the man some credit.

Trouble is, the world is a vast and diverse place. It's not just this fractured fandom. If he wants to remain relevant beyond OL, he needs, in my humble opinion, two things: a) to score a big role in a big budget production, which would improve his notoriety and help him reach a different public and b) curate his personal image a bit more and get out of this midlife crisis fake character he's peddling around. The only people who find it interesting are the thirsty mommies in *urv's crowd and that's, uhm... a bit irrelevant, in the big scheme of things.

So, no more political blunders, please and thank you. Shut the hell up and play Switzerland on complicated and divisive society issues which can get one in boiled water for a comma. Carefully picked and curated CSR projects, he'd ideally be more actively involved in. And yes, maybe a bit more transparency on the so many great things he does, like that partnership with the Edinburgh's Youth Theatre he didn't even mention himself or include in his stories (no doubt, out of a very British and endearing sense of modesty). And always remember: when faced with something beautiful and fragile, like that story, people will try their best to smear it and break it. I am not bitter, just realistic.

Same goes for your conclusion: I am sure many would like to see more of what is beneath that mask. It's too bad that a bunch of bitter, nasty, clueless, but also very noisy women occupy a bigger part of the stage than they should.

But have faith, Anon. For the moment, all of this is nothing what a good PR, not the clowns he obviously hired, can't fix with relative ease. Trust me. I've seen way worse. And remember, always remember what dear Wilde (God, I love that soul!) said: 'every saint has a past and every sinner has a future'.

You just gave me an idea for a future post and for this, I thank you, Anon. But for now, I have to catch up on a thing or two, rather than determine the morality of a plastic glass. I hope this long answer helps somewhat. Thank you for dropping by: it was a pleasure reading your musings.

#Anon

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bigassbowlingballhead · 5 months

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Lol, I love how everyone got so excited after that 2 second video from Mary and George. I don't know about you, but I'm already mentally and physically preparing myself to literally be a different person after this show comes out.

we're just a bunch of thirsty bitches who want to see nick slut around in silly frilly collars and slutty night shirts

#box talk #mary & george

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zero-insignificance · 3 months

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Shit that happened in my DND Campaign

Cast consists of the following and is separated into two sessions

Rose: DM

Alfie: Chicken looking birdfolk sorcerer warlock and is from a different universe

Mark: human barbarian paladin

Gorg: Goliath barbarian

Patrick: changeling bard? with memory loss

Luna: Elf (they fell victim to the false hydra)

Quinn: wood elf

Fluffy Scruffington: tabaxi

Bob: Archfey NPC (Alfie made a deal with him)

So basically we're standing in front of the painting and Bob appears out of nowhere and pretty much says Hi and I'm like "SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, WHEN DID YOU GET THERE?!"

Bob just throws a smoke bomb and as the smoke clears we see him booking it to the museum exit and he trips and Gorg just busts through the door and hops straight into the painting.

I ask Hank (magical orb of memories that had some sort of say over reality) if the unicorns are the nice and pure hearted kind of the murderous blood thirsty kind and Hank says they're a bunch of cocky sons of bitches.

We all go in the painting and the first thing that we see is Spike who says "Hello welcome to Equestria-" and immediately gets golf clubbed by Gorg's hammer and is immediately killed.

And from the heavens we hear "HOME RUN!" Gorg has a new patron Wii Matt of Wii sports.

My little pony friendship is magic is a graphic novel series where Alfie is from, and Gorg has nightmares about the ponies.

We head into Ponyville and the first pony we meet is Princess Twilight Sparkle. Alfie sums up why we are here asks if there's a cemetery that we can grave rob and also asks her to sign his copies of the MLP graphic novels and leaves her with a bag of gems to pay for any damages. The Golden Oak library is still there.

Gorg sneaks off and spots Rarity. She turns screams and Gorg covers her mouth and kills her dragging the body behind the Carousel Boutique.

Fluttershy is behind the Carousel Boutique and has a panic attack, I chuck a health potion at Gorg and he shoves it down Rarity's throat. She is now extra dead. Mark turns Fluttershy to look at him telling her not to look and wraps his section staff around her snapping her neck. Meanwhile, Gorg was making a show of needing to get rarity help before breaking off her horn and both bodies are stashed away. The DM says "Mark a feeling of dread washes over you. He knows."

Alfie's making his way towards the cemetery and comes across sugar cube corner, popping into ask where the cemetery is and meeting Pinkie pie.

She's absolutely HYPED right now cuz NEW FRIEND.

Pinkie pie is positively vibrating especially since Alfie knows who she is and she has never met him before and he asks her if she wants to go grave robbing with him for some unicorn horns and she says yes.

Meanwhile, Gorg is covered in iridescent unicorn blood and jumps into the town squares fountain to clean it off, destroying the fountain in the process.

Mark decides to sample some of the pony blood and becomes a pony version of himself.

His cutie mark is the word "brisket"

Alfie and Pinkie rush outside to see What happened and now he's like "Hold up Mark is that you?" And Gorgs panicking because what happened to his friend and he does not trust ponies and Granny Smith ambles up to him like "Now now settle down. your friend's probably fine"

Gorg tries to trick Pinkie pie into coming down an alley with him all alone but Alfie brings up that she promised to go grave robbing with him and no pony breaks a promise.

Mark joins us on our trip to the ponyville graveyard.

Gorg stays behind and offers to give granny Smith a haircut.

Cursed shit insued

Gorg is at the fountain and Granny Smith has her back to him.

I have a better granny Smith impression than Rose so I'm roped into this.

Gorg accidentally pees on granny's head.

I panic and play the clueless old lady card and say "oh sugar. I didn't know you were going to give me a shampoo and rinse" and he hocks a loogie into her hair and rubs it in and discord is so disgusted by this that rewind time so it didn't happen and the only people who know that time has rewound are the party members.

Gorg ends up giving Granny Smith an emo haircut and she loves it cuz it reminds her of her rebellious days.

Cut to the graveyard where Pinkie is just desperate to give us cupcakes and I offer tradesies for my muffins and it's a deal she gives me the cupcakes and then she inhales the muffins tray and all and chokes to death.

Mark takes a bite out of Pinkie because the pony blood has made him hunger for more pony flesh and gains more power.

Discord's weakness is pee.

Alfie gets curious and samples some of the pony blood and becomes a pegasus pony minus the bloodlust cuz he scored high enough on the constitution save and only sampled a drop.

I do have bottles of various pony bloods now.

Cut back to Gorg who has opened a successful barber shop. Granny Smith is in the corner just feeling herself in the mirror.

Applejack gets in the hairdressing chair and ask Gorg if he can cut her hair and Gorg says "Yes. Do you consent to me taking a little off the top?" "Sure do, sugar cube." Gorg repeats the question two more times and Applejack says "yes now get on with cutting my hair sweet pea." And out of character Gorg says "I've asked her three times. I come from a different culture. Can this just be a culture dispute?" And Rose says yes.

Gorg chops off Applejack's head and adds her head to his belt.

He meets up with us at the graveyard and Alfie is just digging up graves and sawing off horns leaving flowers on graves as a way to say sorry for defiling your corpse. Muttering under his breath "it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine" because his childhood is getting more ruined than it already was

First grave we dug up was a fresh grave so of course Mark takes a bite out of the freshly buried body and becomes an alicorn because now he has the magic of all three pony tribes flowing through his veins.

Twilight shows up and Mark is like "Can you give me a hug? I could really use a hug." and she's like "you seem fine "and Alfie's just frantically shaking his head no. And Gorg says "Can I have a hug? My parents were killed by a cupcake." And she says "oh you poor thing of course!" and she gives him a hug and he hugs her to death.

Mark goes for the flank and then runs off on a blood lusted rampage heading to where Spike's body is and becomes a bat pony alicorn after feasting on his flesh.

Mark has jumped the shark

Alfie frantically goes searching for Rainbow Dash so she can warn the princesses about what's happening in Ponyville and finds her in her cloud house taking a nap and tells her 'Rainbow Dash we have to go to canterlot and warn the princesses. There's a bloodthirsty maniac on the loose! Your friends are dead!" And she goes "wait what?" and Mark gets a perfect 20 on an athletics check to see if he can kill Rainbow from wherever he is in ponyville she dies as a dagger pierces through the cloud and spears her in the gut.

At this point Mark is summoned to the graveyard face to face with Discord. Who is pissed off that he has killed his Fluttershy.

Alfie was going to fly to Canterlot to warn the Princesses himself. But the party is the only family he has left. He can't just abandon them and he's just muttering to himself that he wishes he could give Discord some spells that way he can bring Fluttershy back.

Gorg will remember this.

Discord has sobered mark up and Mark has no memory of what happened.

Mark wants to make a deal with Bob and Bob. Shows up out of nowhere and says hey Dad to Discord cuz Discord is his father.

There is nothing Bob can do and Discord gives us two options. Either we fight him or we travel to the afterlife to get Fluttershy's soul back I present an alternative option which would be to use my book to save her in her last moments but my campaign members choose fight Discord. The fight begins at dawn.

Gorg essentially ascends because he broke whatever pact he had with Kratos.

Gorg is no longer with the party, we all get a plus 4 on attack rolls.

End of that session

Next session Patrick, Quinn and Luna join us and they get a recap of what happened.

We are all ponies now.

When we first met Patrick, Mark told him that they were best friends and Patrick went along with it.

Patrick, upon hearing what happened, loudly wonders why they're friends in the first place.

Everyone chews out Mark and Alfie heads off to the Golden oak library cuz He wants to see if there are any new spells he can learn from there and also wants to check out the basement. He takes some of the books and we all head to the basement and see the Cutie Mark Crusaders who are plotting some new way to earn their cutie marks.

Today they're going to help Big Mac on the farm but little do they know Big Mac is dead, Applejack is dead, Granny Smith is dead. The first thing Alfie says when he sees them is "DON'T GO OUTSIDE" and He blocks the doorway and we have to break the news all their sisters are dead their families are just dead. Mark and I deceive them into thinking that there was just some completely unrelated alicorn psychopath that went on the loose and that discord is taking care of the alicorn psychopath at dawn and we make the decision to send them off to Appaloosa so Braeburn can take care of them while we sort everything else out.

We bribe them with cupcakes to make sure that they keep their eyes closed so they don't get extra traumatized. And as we see them off, the sun rises and we're all teleported by Discord to the battleground.

Patrick and Luna back out of the fight because this is kind of Mark's fault despite the fact that he was in an amnesia inducing frenzy and Alfie is conflicted because on one hand Mark is his closest friend. He's the first person he met in this universe. The closest thing he has to family now. But ultimately he decides to do the right thing and prevent even more suffering and death by going to the afterlife and retrieving the mane six with the rest of the party.

Mark summons Bob the Archfey saying that he wants to make a deal with him.

For his soul, name and memories of his little sister he makes this deal: If he kills Discord, I will be freed from my pact, we are free to leave the fey wilds, and have more of the supplies we need for that interdimensional portal book. If Mark perishes in this battle between him and Discord, he will essentially become a husk of his former self as an undead soldier for Bob.

Alfie and Mark share a heartfelt goodbye knowing this could be the last time they ever see each other. Mark gives Alfie his cloak as a memento, share a hug and Alfie gives him a salute and jumps into the hole that leads to the afterlife the other party members following after him leaving Mark to battle Discord solo.

In the afterlife colors are inverted it looks like ponyville but everything's off. Patrick approaches a background pony asking where the main six are and they turn around with white glowing eyes and screech at them before slowly turning their head back to the other pony they were talking to.

We venture further into this twisted town and see Applejack talking to Rarity, we say hey and Applejack's head just falls off and lands at our hooves. "Sorry sugar cube it happens sometimes" and we break the news to her that that wasn't normal. Everyone in ponyville is dead except for the CMC and we can get you back to the land of the living.

Then we go to Princess Twilight and she says "Ugh. It's you." And Alfie profusely apologizes saying that if he knew that that would happen he would have just come here by himself and not to worry cuz the OG killer is no longer with us. He ascended. She casts a spell on her vocal cords to project her voice and tells everyone to head to the green portal on the hill.

On a very distant hill is a flash of lightning revealing a silhouette of something reptilian with six heads that is very familiar to Alfie.

It's a false hydra. The false hydra that they fought in the third session. Alfie tries to tell Twilight about it and she just says "what false hydra?"

Alfie splits up from the rest of the group to get Rainbow Dash who's currently looking for Scootaloo. After talking to Rainbow Dash and letting her know that scootaloo is okay, Bob appears by his side at which Alfie has a couple of questions, the first of which being how the heck he keeps appearing out of nowhere and that that's a bad idea to do to someone who has PTSD cuz that might get you stabbed and the second being "Why did you make a deal with me?"

"Because you reek of foreign magic and frankly I want to dissect you"

"Surprisingly, that's not the first time someone has said that to me. The dissection part that is."

"Really?" "Yep. Uhhhh see ya." And Alfie just books it to Fluttershy's cottage.

I am so hyped for the next session.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dumbasses #my little pony #my little pony friendship is magic

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wehavelayers-shrek · 4 years

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Savage, D.M

Part 1

⚠️:sexual tension,swearing, somewhat bullying,smutty,underage

Au:no voldy

Pairing: badassgryffindorreaderxdracomalfoy

The first time you and Draco met was not a great first impression. You met him in your 4th year at hogwarts

"fuck off" you puched someone who touched your ass but instead of punching that person you instead punched a blonde boy.

"fucking hell" he said his nose was now bleeding from the punch

"draco why did you block him you shithead"

"And why in the hell did you fucking hit me you blind bitch" he screamed

You were going to punch him again luckily for him you were being dragged by your fellow housemates.

That was the start of the bullying you both did to each other.

You would find dirt on him and he would find yours.

That started over a year ago and now you were in your 5th year at hogwarts nothing really happened this year except for the upcoming yule ball you didn't want to go but being in the house of gryffindor proffesor Mcgonagall would be pissed.

You didn't have a date , you refused everyone who asked you out since it was either they want to hook up after the ball or want to hook up before the ball.

What a bunch of horny dickheads you thought to yourself.

Cutting off your thoughts you can feel a hand grabbed your waist

Not this again you have been dealing with this horny boys for far too long you reallyw ant to teach them a lesson they will never forget.

You faced him looked him in the eye great another slytherin guy

" so do you want to get out of here?" You smiled at him

He agreed, all boys are stupid hell as if you would fuck him shitty boys

You both go to his room

You were the last one who entered the room so you intentionally didn't closed the door

You undressed him but you never let him touch you

"today I'm in control of you darling" you smiled mischievously

You tied him and put a clothing over his mouth so he couldn't speak since you find him very annoying

You started to whip him white his belt laughing as you hit him harder.

You touched his boner and gripped it hard

"aww look who I made hard too bad you won't get a taste" you laughed at him

You can see his eyes beginning to realize what you were going to do

You grabbed him by the neck and whispered

"if you think you can do these things to a girl you are wrong, looking at your dick no one would even fuck you" you winked at him and proceeds to walk out the door with you dragging his hair as you leave to make the students see what kind of ass he was, as you went outside a lot of slytherins were shocked from what just they witnessed you screamed at the top of your lungs

"IF YOU TRY TO FUCKING TOUCH A PERSON WITHOUT CONSENT YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU WILL END UP LIKE THIS BOY"

Now all of slytherin was looking at you you stopped gripping him there and proceeds to kick his balls one last time then you leave.

You knew that gossips would emmerge from this.

Not long after draco got the news about this occurances

Dracos POV

"this is why she isn't going to get a date for the yule ball" he laughed

"idk draco I think she's pretty hot, besides I think she's the kind of person you like" blaise teased him

"what, are you out of your mind zabini, I already have a date"

"really, is it one of the beauxbatons ladies"

"yeah, are you jealous zabini" he laughed

"not in a slightest bit malfoy I think you're the one who will be jealous after I asked y/n out"

"in your dreams zabini"

"I'll bet you would"

Maybe he would but he won't give the satisfaction to zabini not in a million years.

Your Pov

You can hear people talking about you, saying how ruthless you were. You only rolled your eyes at them as you sat beside Cho chang she was your friend and you two got a long pretty well.you were sitting at the courtyard chatting

"so y/n I heard rumors about you and a Slytherin boy"

"yeah that motherfucker tried to hook up with me, I don't even know Cho why every boy in this school is horny can't I get a decent man"

"too bad y/n the only decent man here is already my boyfriend" she laughed

"even if he was he isn't my type"

"cause your type is one of those slytherin quidditch players, malfoy was it" she teased

"oh please I only like Montague from the team"

"not that fake blondie, I have taste you know"

"yeah whatever you say" Cho said sarcasticly

As you were thinking of a comeback blaise went in front of you

"y/n I was just looking for you" he said

"y/n I have to go I need to go see cedric" Cho said and she excused herself

"so zabini go ahead"

"so y/n do you have any date to the ball"he asked you

"no, and I don't think anyone would take me" you laughed

"well can I have the pleasure to take you"

"it depends zabini all of you slytherin boys are getting to my nerves recently"

"yeah I've heard"he smiled

"so zabini tell me what's in it for me"

"well I want to be honest since I guess I don't want to end up like the last guy, I just want to piss off draco" he laughed

"really and how would he be pissed"

"you know he's got a huge crush on you y/n"

"draco has a crush on me, that is absurd Zabini" you laughed

"it's true y/n I even heard him dreaming of you"

"come-on zabini we all know the me and draco hate other there is no way"

"just give me this chance, and if I'm wrong I'll do anything you want me to do for the rest of our time here at hogwarts"

"confident, okay I'll agree to that"

"thank Merlin you agreed I'll meet you at the ball"

He was now leaving you there you can see him smirking while he left

"what did i got myself into"

Time skip:

It was now the time for the yule ball Blaise waited for you outside your room while you were getting dress Ginny helped you to dress's and to do your makeup

"looks like you're not going alone y/n, you always surprise me" she said

"yeah guess I'm not"

"so how did you two come about"

"let's say we two took interest at the same thing" you smiled

"I can't believe you're going to the ball with a slytherin"

"yeah I was even surprised myself"

"well we better hurry up since your date has been waiting for you"

You thanked her and went to blaise he gestured you to hold his arm as you were going down the stairs.

All eyes were on you two whispering can be heard as you descended from the stairs you gripped his arm

"god look at all of them judging us Zabini"you whispered to him laughing

"more like looking how beautiful you are tonight, have you seen how all eyes were on you tonight, I must say I am a very lucky man to have you as my date tonight"he smiled at you

"oh very charming zabini"

As you were walking you can feel eyes following your every move

You looked around to see draco staring at you with a burning gaze

"did you see draco y/n? Look how fucking pissed he looks" he was laughing

"yeah it does looks like he was pissed maybe because of Granger"you doubt it was you

"I'm telling you y/n he really is into you, and I know what would piss him off even more"he smirked

He pulled you to dance.

"y/n I want to do something to prove that he really likes you"

"what is it"

"kiss me"

"what why would I do that Zabini are you just trying to get a free kiss if so it won't work"

"just this once and I'll do everything you asked for the next year"

"make sure you don't break the promise zabini or else you'll be dead"

You hesitated to kiss him so he made the first move he carresed you cheeks and kissed you it was only 5 seconds long

"now look over at draco" he said

you looked at where his looking you can see draco pushing his way towards the two of you he looks pissed off just the way Zabini wanted him to be

"Zabini if you don't mind can I steal y/n for a minute" draco said

"well draco you see she's my date, it's kinda rude for you to steal her"

Draco whispered something to zabini you didn't quite hear it but from the way Zabini looked at you while he was smirking you knew he was going to give you to draco.

"okay draco, just make it quick I don't want this beautiful lady to be stolen from me" as he said that he left you with draco

"so draco what do you want, you kinda spoiled my moment there you know"

"come with me, to somewhere more private"

he dragged you up to the astronomy tower

"so can you tell me what you want we're missing the ball"

"what's going on with you and zabini and why Did he kissed you"you can feel the tension rissing

"I don't need to explain anything draco"

"you're a real piece of work"

"so we went up here just for you to diss me, im going to leave"turning around

As you were about to leave he gripped your arm and turn you to face him

"you're not going anywhere until I say so princess"

You removed the gripped from his hand

"who do you think you are draco, you think I'm going to obey you in your dreams Malfoy. Iyou are such a stu-"

As you were about to finish your sentence he cut you off with a kiss a passionate one

You slapped him

"what the fuck Draco not only are you rude you're also a pervert"

"y/n I'm-"

You cut him off

"why are all you slytherins horny as fuck thirsty ass wizards"

With that you left him there and went back to your room you decided not to go to ball since you might see him there and that's the last thing you want

#draco fanfiction #draco imagine #draco x reader #draco angst #draco smut #Spotify

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just-barrow · 5 years

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it's really great seeing my Mendo mutuals from back in 2017 collectively lose their shit again over all the new content, good to know we're still a bunch of thirsty bitches ❤

#ben mendelsohn #mendofam #mendelhomies #every post on my dash is like: it's been a while but 10/10 still would #lmao #i love you guys

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drummer-69 · 4 years

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Well you know the saying when it rains it pours motherfucker I'm getting slammed right now sometimes I don't understand because you know what most people call Karma my aura is all good sometimes you have to take some pain and loss trade all your smiles in for Tears and then it's not really a good trade hell the fuck out o I mean look even the end of every week ends in WTF Wednesday Thursday Friday I don't think so WTF!!!i do I have a sign on my forehead it says come here and shit on me accepting applications fuck me running isn't it amazing how you give a person the world everything you got and they don't even notice WTF!!! Is up with that I had this chick I called her dizzy thought that was the love of my life we were down like two flat tires every time I seen her I was on her like a duck on a June bug hahaha that's a pretty funny innuendo my Southern Tweakers can feel me on this there's no truthfulness there's no faithfulness there's no loyalty there's nothing in most people any more of their gutless fucking nasty dumbfucks that really pissed me off they steal cheat they lie God forbid I was looking for a business partners when I'm with somebody I don't give him the shirt off my back I give him the fucking skin off my back you can't find that anymore they're out there are few and far between and that goes for men and women there's a bunch of Godless Souls out there that just love to fucking step on people how many times can you fuck over a person before it comes back on you where is there fucking Karma yeah fuck you and your karma bitches I've been doing good I haven't been to see you haven't taken care of my shit and I'm a proud of myself yeah been doing it all my fucking life and if you're reading this and you got this far thank you so much maybe you are going through it now or you been through it are you going to go through it eventually cuz people have shit anymore on fucking believable I'm disgusted with motherfuking Society and my dirty fucking mouth and I apologize again it's hard to breathe when you have your own foot on your own neck I can handle it when somebody else's foot on my neck my heart makes me put my goddamn foot on my own neck yeah now what grow a backbone so it's there look for the knife and the footprints right up under there can't miss it I hope somebody smiling that's kind of funny to fuck even when I'm mad I'm funny my daughter was right I know there's a lot of people out there that feel the same as I do we're all scattered the fuck all over the place looking for Sid we can't find that we just sat down asking what day is this and damn what fucking time is it WTF!! I know I didn't eat I'm thirsty as a mother fuc I want to go play with my dick and watch porn all day because that has become fun and that's what you do when you're alone you have fun right dammit man and if anybody has anything to add to this Feel Free Jump Right on in with me and let it out because today our motto us people that are all together even if we like you fuck you too motherfuker hahaha now that made me smile and I'll probably the only person reading it well I'm right here you know it's like shit I like motion when I go off most people go back to the beginning and start reading over about 10 or 15 times because they're like look at this dude here are y'all I'm going to go fucking make some major clouds for the next half hour then I'm going to smoke a joint then I'm going to go jack off in the shower so if y'all wanna hang out come on with me and I'll take care of y'all we'll get something to eat you know listen to some music blow some clouds I feel better now thank you everybody as I take a middle finger out of my pocket y'all know what I'm saying

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nightcoremoon · 7 years

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my cousin won't fuck his girlfriend because he's a good Christian boy who wants to wait for marriage. even though they've already fucked and the only reason they stopped was because of a pregnancy scare caused because he didn't like condoms and said he could pull out in time and then she was late for her period and she was so worried up and down the street about having to marry him and raise a kid, and when I said I'd drive her to the planned parenthood she got all life-starts-at-conception bullshit on me. christians are fucking stupid. regardless. the premarital thing is a lie because apparently he's into thicker girls and his girlfriend? petite. he's literally stringing her along and she is in love with him, and she is thirsty for him, and she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. and I know he doesn't mean her any harm but god damn it, I fucking loathe when straight men use girls for sex, but I seethe with envy and gay feminist rage when straight guys abuse girls for things other than sex too. it's like. if I had a girl who was as fucking beautiful as she is (she's one of the prettiest girls I know, which is really saying something because I know a LOT of very pretty girls, which is a real shame because she thinks she's ugly because of a whole bunch of personal shit in her past that's her business) who wanted to be more emotionally engaged with me and wanted to cuddle and talk and be together with and go on dates with and one day get married to and even if not for all that who just wanted to fuck me because she thought I was the sexiest person on earth, then I hope y'all KNOW I'd capitalize on that shit. but I don't have that. and he does. and he's taking her for granted. he's got something I would kill for, a partner who LOVES HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH AND BACK NO MATTER HOW DISTANT HE IS EMOTIONALLY TO NOT JUST HER BUT EVERYBODY AROUND HIM (including me but I'm not bitter about that, okay maybe I am a little but hence this post being a fair bit more biased than usual), and he's just completely fucking ignoring her for the sake of scoring afterlife points with a being of great, ancient power beyond human imagining despite only cherry-picking bits and pieces of his alleged rules [i'm christ-unitarian but bear with me], treating her like some sort of bloodsucking leech. I'm just sitting here like, bitch, if you don't fuck her, then I will. my heart aches for her and her emotional loneliness since we're kindred spirits in that regard, and she's one of my closest friends, and I would take the place of my cousin in a HEARTBEAT if it meant that she didn't have to deal with heartbreak and the loneliness of being treated like garbage and then eventually cast away for the next "pair of tits and ass" that came along. she's so fucking beautiful, inside and out, one of the kindest and most caring and understanding people I've ever met in my entire life, and if she did eventually marry him then I would welcome her into my family because I practically consider her to be family right now, and we have incredibly similar tastes in books and movies and music and like all the same things, and... I want to be in her life even if just as her friend, because I value the friendship that we have together more than any physical attraction could ever do, and I'm glad that she's found someone who she loves and is willing to devote her life to... but she deserves the same and more, a hundredfold returned. and I hate how powerless I am to give it to her.

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