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krethes · 2 years

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@wolfstarmicrofic Day Fifteen: breathing room

A direct follow-up to Day Twelve: roar

C/w: blood, injury, discussions on mental health, panic attack, and a reference to past fight(s).

"Mr Lupin, I assume you are here to feed me yet another story about how you fell? Ran into a locked portrait hole? Tripped on the stairs?"

"They're magical stairs, Poppy, they're very tricky."

"In the nearly one thousand years since Hogwarts's founding, I don't recall a single incident of the staircases developing..." She looks down at his thigh where a deep gash bleeds steadily through his bandages. It's resisted his friends' healing charms and even Poppy's, and he's had to keep downing blood replenishing potions that taste like knuts (a joke he cannot even appreciate given the circumstances). "...A broadsword." Her blue eyes narrow for a moment before she sighs, all trace of discipline leaving her face. Poppy Conjures a chair and sits at his bedside. "Remus," she says gently, falling into his given name. "If someone is-"

"-They're not," Remus says quickly, but the disappointment that crinkles her expression sends a pike of shame through him. "I just... Get so angry. They say things. About Lily. About Mary."

"And about you?"

"I'm used to that, it's nothing new, but my friends can't help that they're Muggleborn!"

"Just as you cannot help your lycanthropy, Remus," Poppy reminds him gently. It makes his skin prickle uncomfortably, the way she can just... perceive him. "I'll be speaking to Professor Slug-"

"No!" Remus shouts, then, quieter, "No. Please. It's nothing. Look, it's already starting to mend." It's the faintest knitting together of flesh, so slow the untrained eye would miss it, but his body is healing; it's one of the only "good" things about being a werewolf.

Poppy sighs again and siphons away the well of blood with a wave of her wand. "Fighting is explicitly against the rules. I should tell Professor McGonagall."

Remus gulps and glances at the door where a flash of dark hair peeks through the window. "...But...?"

"But, I won't," she says and raises her hand when he makes to speak, "but only under the condition that you agree to see me for Mind Healing."

Remus flinches, recoiling from the idea that he's gone mad, like a rabid dog. He can see it now: being labelled truly, absolutely, as a dangerous creature, being put down, or worse: being locked in a cell lined with silver or being sent to Azkaban. How did werewolves even do in Azkaban? Were the Dementors susceptible to the virus? Were the other prisoners safe from the beast? Would that full moon finally be his last? Panic grips him, freezes the air in his lungs, and Remus's entire body tenses, a coil tightly wound and ready to spring. The edges of his vision begin to fade and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't- he's going to hurt someone for real or- or-!

"Mr Black!" rings in his ears before darkness takes him.

When he comes to, it's to the familiar, calming scent of Sirius, and tears sting his eyes. Sirius gasps and clutches him close, squeezing him in an embrace that both crushes and comforts him, forces the icy air out and pushes warm love in.

"Mr Black, give him some breathing room, please!" Poppy firmly guides Sirius away, a bit more brusquely than she normally does. As Remus's vision returns, he sees that the door has been blown straight off its hinges, and glittering glass dusts Sirius's hair. Poppy wipes Remus's sweaty brow with a cloth and passes him a potion that tastes like candy floss and immediately sends him to a place of zen serenity.

"Mind Healing, Remus, will be good for you. Muggles call their version 'therapy', but I can help you control your anger, and that panic attack you just had."

"He doesn't need to control his anger!" Sirius growls, already back at Remus's side, their fingers laced together. "He's fine, he's just defending himself!!"

Poppy stills Sirius with a hard look, and Remus swears the room gets ten degrees warmer with the tension. Or maybe that's the guilt creeping through his body. Was punching Snape until his face was swollen and bloody defending himself? One or two would have sufficed. Nausea turns his stomach, but Sirius's hands are cool as they brush his hair from his forehead.

"Remus," Poppy continues as though she hasn't heard Sirius's outburst, "think it over. Or at least consider some form of meditation. Breathing exercises. You're getting stronger as you grow, and, honestly, we ought to have started this much sooner. I won't force you, but do consider it. Fully," she adds with a raised eyebrow Sirius's way.

Remus nods mutely and lets Sirius pet his hair while Poppy looks his leg over again. It's stopped bleeding, mostly, and new skin is growing from the base of the gash. After another hour, Poppy sends him back to Gryffindor Tower, and Sirius pulls him on top of his body as soon as they're in the dorm.

"Moony, don't listen to her, you're-"

"I think I should do it."

"Let someone root around in your head?! Moony, are you-"

"Mad? Quite possibly." His throat feels tight, his mouth sandpaper dry. "She's right. I'm not... it's not a fair fight, if it's physical, and... I'm tired. So tired of being angry. All the fucking time."

Sirius makes a pained, choked-off noise and kisses him sweetly, guiding his emotions to an oasis of safe and home. "Okay then," he whispers against Remus's lips and just holds him. Sirius feels like a ground, directing the lightning of his fury to a single point and diffusing it, all with a kiss. "You should do what's good for you. ...But if that could also include still punching Snivellus—on special occasions only! Oi, ouch!"

Remus flips them and pins Sirius with his elbows, huffing faintly annoyed laughter into his neck. "I love you." Sirius says it more often because he seems to understand that Remus needs to hear it, but the words don't come naturally to Remus. Speaking the words leaves Remus feeling vulnerable, flayed open, raw, but Sirius is always there, a balm to calm the sting.

Remus closes his eyes and breathes to the steady, reliable drum of Sirius's heart. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #my fics #wolfstarmicrofic #breathing room #cw: mental health #cw: violence #cw: injury #microfic #yes it's over 1k #fight me

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ace-in-a-shopping-cart · 4 years

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Cerberus, The Giant Black Dog

Part two out of three! One Three

Word Count: 2,927

Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01 @spoopy-turtle @lizluvscupcakes @far-too-many-fandoms-to-die

Summary: Logan being a disaster gay.

Logan turned to ask Remus a question, only to see his child barreling out of the store toward someone else. He had just enough time to shout, “Watch out!” while Remus called, “Coming through!” and hit the man full on.

They both went flying backward as Logan raced to get there, practically having to drag Roman behind him. He had to catch his breath but he at least looked at his child to make sure Remus was fine and hadn’t harmed the man too much. Once he got his breathing back, he pulled Remus carefully off the man’s legs, the man’s head followed the movement.

“Are they alright?” His voice was almost frantic even as his dog stood practically on top of him.

Logan nodded. “Remus is perfectly fine, thank you. Are you?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m great.” The man patted the dog, causing the creature to reverse course and step off the man but stayed close. The man dressed in all black stood, brushing his hands down his person to get the dirt off. “Cerberus,” he addressed the dog, “where’s my stick?”

The dog bumped against the stranger, causing him to stumble slightly closer to the side of the building. He moved to the corner and picked up a white stick in his mouth, bumping it against the man to give it to him. He crouched to pet the dog and murmur praise to the animal as he took the stick and slipped the strap attached to the top over his wrist. Turning back to Logan, he smiled. “I didn’t realize it was rush hour.”

Roman giggled at the joke but Logan sighed, already feeling drained. “It’s not. Are you sure you’re fine? Do I need to make anything up to you?” He was worried the man might have been hurt but was playing it off. The man didn’t answer the question, choosing to ask one of his own instead. “Where are you heading in such a rush, anyway?”

“We’re getting ice cream!” Remus said a bit too loudly before Logan could stop him.

The man turned his head to follow the source of the voice. “What a coincidence! I was going to get some ice cream too.”

Remus giggled and Roman spoke up. He was on Logan’s other side as he held the twins by their hands. The man’s head turned, again following the source of the sound. “Do you wanna come with?”

Logan shook his head. “Roman, we don’t invite random strangers on our family outings.” He sighed, knowing it was almost no use at this point.

The man stepped back, hand gripping the dog’s leash. “I in no way meant to get in the way of a family outing. Cerberus and I can get to the ice cream parlor on our own.” Whistling, he called the dog to his side before the pair began walking down the sidewalk in the same direction the trio was already heading.

Remus broke away from Logan again and ran ahead, tugging on the stranger’s pants leg before Logan could catch him again. “Mister?” He asked.

As Logan was running to catch up, swinging Roman up into his arms to get there faster, he heard the man respond. “Yes, small child?”

The next portion of the conversation was drowned out by Logan’s frantic running to catch up and Roman’s giggling at being carried. He put Roman down once he got there, the child still giggling. Logan tried to once again catch his breath as the stranger said, “This seems to be a thing today.”

Logan laughed, the noise sounding strained due to lack of air. “It seems so.” he agreed. Once he got his breath back and was standing up straight, he continued. “I guess it would be right to assume you are heading in the same direction as we are?”

The man nodded. “If you’re going to the ice cream parlor that's right across the street, yes.”

Logan adjusted his tie. “Would it be agreeable to be accompanied by myself and two small bundles of insatiable energy?’

The man laughed and part of Logan’s brain shut down at just how cute it was. “Only if we exchange names. I’m Virgil and this guy is Cerberus.” He reached down with a hand that was immediately bumped by the dog’s wet nose.

Logan almost offered a handshake before realizing that the man was blind and would not notice it. “My name is Logan and these two are Remus and Roman.” They both said ‘hello’ at the mention of their names, Remus still holding the man, Virgil’s, pants leg.

Virgil nodded. “Now that we are all acquainted, shall we be off?” He clicked his tongue to Cerberus and they continued walking.

Now that they were side by side, Logan had the chance to get a good look at Virgil. His hair was messy, like he hadn’t bothered to do anything with it. He was wearing a black hoodie with purple plaid patches and black skinny jeans that hugged his legs quite nicely. He had sunglasses on, making Logan immensely curious of what his eyes looked like.

He was so caught up in surveying the man, he almost tripped when they stopped suddenly. Virgil spoke, a hard edge to his voice. “Is there a child on my dog or his leash?”

Logan’s gaze snapped to Cerberus, where Roman was pulling on the leash slightly, one hand buried in the animal’s fur. “I just wanted to pet him.”

Virgil sighed, crouching down. “Do you see his vest?” His voice took on a softer tone.

“Yes.” Roman was close to tears.

“That vest means he’s working. You’re not supposed to pet a dog while they’re wearing a vest like this, okay?”

Logan spoke up. “I should have noticed him sooner, my apologies.”

“It’s fine. It’s always nice to educate people on working dogs.” He stood back up and Cerberus started going again, sitting next to Virgil when they got to the crosswalk and the light was red. Virgil smiled and patted his head.

“How come you get to pat and pet him while he has the vest on?” Roman asked, head tilting in the same curious habit he’d picked up from Logan.

“Well, I do it when he’s doing his job well. It’s to let him know he did it right. He’s relatively new to being a working dog as he was just certified a few months ago.” Virgil’s tone was patient as he explained.

“What jobs does he perform, if you don’t mind my asking?” Logan asked.

“I don’t mind at all. He doubles as both a seeing eye and emotional support dog. This is due to my being blind and having anxiety. The petting and pats are also part of his emotional support role as he keeps me calm and it lets him know I’m fine.”

“Ah.” Logan said as Cerberus stood back up, the group crossing the street and making it to the ice cream parlor with no mishaps. He held the door open for everyone, smiling as the twins bounced into the building and Virgil got comfortable enjoying the cold. They made their way into the line and Logan leaned close to Virgil to be heard above the general chatter.

“Are you sure you’re okay with us joining you? If we are being a bother or hindrance please let me know.”

“You are all perfectly fine. In fact, what flavors do they have? I usually only ever get mint chocolate chip.”

Logan told him every flavor that was on there. After he was done, the two boys standing near them piped up with their favorites and recommendations. Virgil laughed at their enthusiasm. He sent them on first so they would be on separate bills, even though Logan offered to pay for him.

The boys ran to the tallest table they could find, having to climb into the seats and giving Logan a figurative heart attack with how many times they almost dropped their ice creams. Just as they finished settling in, Virgil slipped into the empty seat at the table and tilted his head down at his hand. “Is it really blue?”

Remus laughed. “It’s blue!” He clearly had yet to transition to his inside voice.

“Shh, Remus. Yes, the two scoops are both blue.” Logan confirmed for Virgil.

“Dang. I thought the bubblegum would be pink.” Virgil sighed, fishing his free hand into his hoodie pocket and pulling out a phone that he handed to Logan. “Would you mind taking a picture for me. I wanna show Emile.”

Logan took the picture as requested and handed the phone back, getting a soft thanks in return. “You should eat it before it melts.” He advised. “Or one of the twins eats it.” They giggled from their side of the table.

Virgil put his phone away and ate the ice cream. The conversation stilled as everyone was consumed with consuming their treat. After finishing, Logan threw away the table’s trash. They parted ways outside the store as Logan and the boys went across the street to the hardware store. Logan lamented not being smart enough to ask for his number or even getting it while he had the phone in hand.

His thoughts were interrupted by the boys gushing about the birdhouses they wanted to make. They were there for what must have been only a ten, fifteen minutes at most before the sound of claws and running footsteps met them outside, a black Labrador jumping on Logan as soon as they exited the store. Recognizing the dog as Cerberus, he patted his head.

“What’s wrong, boy? Where’s Virgil?”

Cerberus barked and took off running back the way he came. Logan followed, only vaguely aware of his children following him. They entered a pet supply store and Cerberus navigated the aisles with ease. He had obviously been here multiple times before as he quickly got them to the back where Virgil was curled on the floor, a death grip on a bag of dog food still on the shelf. He was breathing raggedly and his hands were flexing on the bag, like he was trying to read the words printed on it. Standing nearby with arms crossed was a woman who was clearly the antagonist in this situation.

Logan was aware of Cerberus returning to his master’s side and the twins standing at the end of the aisle, uncertain. On his part, he walked right up to the woman and demanded she leave. He didn’t think about his words beforehand, simply speaking his mind enough to get her to go away.

Once she was gone, he turned his attention to Virgil. He knelt by his side, taking his face in his hands and checking him for injuries. He had to say his name a few times before Virgil’s head seemed to weigh a bit less, as if he was supporting himself as well. “Virgil, are you alright?” Logan could tell his voice was frantic but tried to keep calm.

Virgil nodded before he buried his head in Cerberus’ fur. Logan didn’t let his head go, turning to scan his body for injuries. “I’m okay.” Virgil murmured.

Logan nodded. “Good. May I ask what happened?”

Virgil took a deep breath, letting it out as slowly as possible. Once his breathing managed to get to a rate similar to that of earlier when he had been calm, he moved his hands along Cerberus’ sides, looking for something. He found a pouch and took a bottle out, opening it with unsteady hands and shaking two gummies out. He chewed them before summing up how the woman had accosted him for no reason. His voice was steady and monotone, little to no emotion coming through among the facts. He concluded with a muttered, “I was just trying to buy dog food.”

As food was mentioned, Cerberus moved away from Virgil and pointed his nose at a bag close to the floor, barking. Logan leaned over to look at the label on the bag, hands never leaving Virgil’s face. “Do you know the brand of food?” Once told, he laughed. “I do believe Cerberus just found it.”

Virgil laughed, the sound coming out shaky but there. “Cerberus, you told me you didn’t see it earlier.” His voice was playful, not really being mad at the animal. His hands moved along the floor, grabbing and using his cane to stand. Logan let him stand on his own, standing with him but making sure to stay close as Virgil walked to Cerberus. He picked up the bag the dog was pointing at before pressing a kiss to his forehead and saying, “Good dog.”

Logan was overcome with a protective instinct and put a gentle hand on Virgil’s lower back, leaning in slightly. “Do you want us to stay with you for now?”

Virgil nodded, hand twitching as if he wanted to hold onto Logan. “Does one of the boys want to carry this for me?”

Remus giggled and stepped forward, grabbing the bag from Virgil while Roman carried the wood for the birdhouses. Virgil began feeling around on Cerberus for the end of his leash. Logan’s heart hurt. “I’m afraid the leash seems to have snapped.”

Virgil sighed. “Fine.” he grabbed the handle on Cerberus’ vest before asking him to take them to the leash section. Cerberus took off, going at a noticeably slower pace as Virgil was attached at a different angle than what must have been the usual. When they arrived at their destination, Cerberus barked softly, as if he knew Virgil was still recovering.

Roman squealed as he ran to hold a pink leash covered in glitter. “Look, Daddy! This one is sparkly!”

Logan chuckled, amused by his son’s antics. “That it is, my boy. Please, keep in mind that we aren’t here for ourselves.”

Remus grunted as he shifted the bag to a more comfortable position, causing Virgil to turn his head to him. “Is it too heavy? I can carry it if needed. “

“No!” Remus responded without hesitation. “I’m strong, I can carry it.”

Logan put his hand on Virgil’s back to warn him of his proximity, leaning close for no other reason than he felt like he needed to protect him. “Would you like help picking the leash?”

A blush dusted Virgil’s cheeks in a decidedly charming way. “What color is the one he has now?”

Logan looked at the part of the leash in Virgil’s hand. “Uhhhhhh . . . Hot pink. Like bright pink.” He was tempted to add, like your blush but paused. “Wait, have you ever seen color before?” He didn’t mean to sound rude, he was genuinely curious.

Virgil laughed, his face lighting up. “Yes, I have. You have to get at least friend level five before you unlock my tragic backstory.” A playful grin stayed on his face, making it just that much cuter.

Logan chuckled and decided to push his luck. “What level am I at now?”

“Like a two.” His blush deepened.

Logan smirked. “Well, maybe we should change that. May I see your phone?” Virgil handed it over without question. Logan quickly found his way into the contacts, saving his number as Logan<3 but Virgil didn’t need to know the whole thing. Texting a simple hello to himself, he made sure it went through before returning it.

“I’m saved under Logan, in case you were wondering. I also went ahead and sent a text to myself so I’ll have your number too.”

“You really are curious about me, aren’t you?” Virgil’s tone was light as the playful grin still danced across his lips.

Logan burned with a desire to know more about this mysterious stranger but didn’t want to say that. Instead, he said, “I can’t say I’m not intrigued. I also think my children like you too much to get rid of you. I think you’re stuck with them and, by extension, me.”

A small shiver ran down Virgil’s back. “Could you grab a black leash?” His voice was quiet, as if he were using all of his power to process what Logan had just said.

Logan stepped away and almost picked up a leash before looking back at Virgil. “Extendable or not?”

“Preferably in the same style as the one I already have.”

Logan looked at the leash still attached to Cerberus and still in Virgil’s hand and grabbed one as close to it as he could find. Pressing it into Virgil’s hand, he asked, “How does that feel?”

Virgil felt over the leash, testing the handle and moving down to the clip. “It feels perfect, thank you.”

They walked to the checkout counter, Logan keeping a protective hand on Virgil’s back to ward off other people like the woman from earlier. When they got there, the twins put the items on the conveyor belt while Logan talked with the manager and explained the situation with the woman, getting a promise that she would not be allowed into the store again. Virgil entertained the boys while checking out.

When they parted outside the store, the boys wanted to go to the park while Virgil said he’d skip the rest of his errands and get home. The twins only allowed him to leave after he promised to meet up with them again. Logan didn’t say anything but was happy his children took the initiative neither of the adults were willing to take. He looked forward to their next meeting as he was dragged away by the hands, the twins already running to the park.

#virgil sanders #dad!logan #child!Roman #child!Remus #blind!Virgil #logan pov #eventual #analogical #ace writes

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