#the way he makes fun of ema for her edgeworth crush is so funny too like um WHO changed their entire career and took the fucking bar
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phoenix is so funny conceptually as a character because hes so silly and goofy (especially in court) but then hes also the bitchiest little middle schooler you have ever seen like. im not even through the second game but
all this coming from the same guy who is Like This in courts of law:
#he said CRINGE AF!!!!!#the way he makes fun of ema for her edgeworth crush is so funny too like um WHO changed their entire career and took the fucking bar#(which is INSANE in california)#to see edgeworth again#ace attorney#aa#phoenix wright#like hes my favorite sillyguy but also... babygirl who are you to call someone cringe fail#popular post
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i forgot to respond earlier but YES if you feel up to ranking the cases you should! :D
i absolutely feel up to it! okay, let’s go! below, my rankings for all of the ace attorney cases i’ve played so far... please note that these are all subjective opinions and you may highly disagree, but this is how i feel :) please also note that this will contain me crushing hard on a couple of characters but i promise not to get over the top about it.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
The First Turnabout -- 2/10 I literally do not care about this one like, at all. I do like having Mia around, hence why it has 2 points instead of 0. But also it’s a Larry case and I really do not like Larry. Plus... everything else. I just don’t like it. (And Phoenix having passed the bar exam but not knowing what a cross-examination is, even if it’s just for tutorial purposes, drives me up the wall.)
Turnabout Sisters -- 6/10 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [sobs] This case hurts me. It hurts. Both because of the painful loss of sibling rights and because April May exists. Very different types of hurting, but all the same... She’s one of the reasons why this case gets points taken off of it. Another reason is that I’m just not huge on how it progresses; I’m never a fan of when Mia has to come in and be like ‘this is what you need to do!’ I like figuring it out myself, y’know? But also, heyyyyy, introduction to some characters that are very dear to my heart! Edgeworth time! Fantastic!
Turnabout Samurai -- 5/10 I like Will Powers a lot, and I would kill for Cody, and Penny makes me happy because she has the same name as me, and Dee Vasquez... Wow. Wow. She’s really something. But the plot is kind of boring and goes on for too long, Wendy Oldbag makes me want to defenestrate myself (especially when she talks to Edgeworth) and Sal Manella fills me with a murderous rage. So this case only gets a 5/10. It would probably get lower, except I really love Edgeworth realizing what’s going on and starting to help out, and the scene at the end... well. Well. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate.
Turnabout Goodbyes -- 10/10 Excellent case. Perfect case. Could not think more highly of it. Yes my lifespan is decreased whenever I see Manfred von Karma but it’s okay. I love defending Edgeworth and I love the backstory even though I also hate it, and I love the actual realistic depictions of trauma, and I love cross-examining the parrot, and I love love LOVE the ending, of course, because getting justice has never felt so goddamn satisfying before. Yeah, I think this case is just my absolute favorite (so far).
Rise from the Ashes -- 9/10 This case hurts me deeply for a thousand different reasons. The sibling rights... The REMOVAL of sibling rights... (I cried. I actually cried.) Edgeworth suffering... It’s all so painful but it’s so well-written that it’s okay. Point taken off because the whole rotating evidence thing kind of annoyed me. ‘But isn’t that also a mechanic in the Investigations series?’ Yeah, but it’s okay when Investigations does it. Don’t ask me to elaborate.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All
The Lost Turnabout -- 3/10 This case only gets points for Maggey, and also Wellington’s cool ringtone. Oh, and the line about bananas. You know the one. Otherwise, it’s just kind of boring, though I do appreciate that they actually came up with an excuse as to why Phoenix suddenly needs everything explained to him again. Even if that excuse is a bit silly.
Reunion, and Turnabout -- 7/10 It’s not a favorite by any means, but this one is pretty good. Pearl is just baby. The whole Miney sisters thing is deeply upsetting to me, but in a way that’s kind of good. The Hotti Clinic makes me really fucking angry and creeped out, so points taken off for that. Also, Franziska has arrived, and oh boy am I glad to see her!
Turnabout Big Top -- -10000000000000000/10 NO NO NO NO NO. FUCK THIS CASE. I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ONE. The only good thing in it is how Franziska talks about Miles, because sibling rights are real. But the rest of it? The rest of it can burn.
Farewell, My Turnabout -- 9/10 This is a really good case! I LOVE the twist, I didn’t expect it at all, and it was so cool. I also really like Adrian. Shelly de Killer is pretty cool too. And of course, Edgeworth is back! Hallelujah! Franziska getting shot though... :( And having to go to that damn clinic... :((( Oh and also I love Shoe with every fiber of my being.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Turnabout Memories -- 7/10 Ah, another flashback case, and one that doesn’t absolutely destroy me emotionally! Mia is here! Phoenix Wright as a sick college student with no common sense is here! Dahlia Hawthorne is here! It’s quite a collection of interesting individuals, and on top of that, it’s just a cool case! Even if lovestruck Phoenix makes me feel like hitting someone... Sort of like what it does to Mia...
The Stolen Turnabout -- 6/10 The case itself isn’t that good, to be honest. But I would kill for Ron and Desiree DeLite. They’re so sweet, and Ron is so funny... On the other hand, though, Luke Atmey can go Zvarri himself. I hated him from the very moment he first appeared. What an annoying, fraudulent ass. Also, Godot was there, and I didn’t like him, either, even though I hadn’t yet seen quite just how bad he can get. It was really nice to see Adrian living her best life, though!
Recipe for Turnabout -- 2/10 I really didn’t like this one... I don’t want to talk about it... I did like Lisa Basil though. Too bad she wasn’t much of a character. Oh, and Viola too. And seeing Maggey again was nice. But those were the only good points in an otherwise horrible case.
Turnabout Beginnings -- 7/10 The case is pretty high quality, but it tormented me. Seeing Edgeworth in that coat... with those sprites, just like von Karma’s... And that one line... I hated every minute of it. It hurt. The only way it could’ve been worse was if von Karma himself had been there, but that gets saved for Investigations. Mia being there again was fun, though. And Dahlia... Wow. Lots going on there. That ending was... a lot. Terry was a creep and I didn’t like him, but watching that... Yeah. Yeah. And Diego did not endear himself to me in the slightest.
Bridge to the Turnabout -- 8/10 Too much Godot. Otherwise, this was a really great case. Playing as Edgeworth was so much fun, and Franziska being there too was incredible, and the whole thing tying up all the loose ends was just... so cool. Admittedly, the case itself made me very sad, but... it was so good. So good. I wanted to kill Godot partway through, though. No one talks to Franziska that way. No one. Plus, his whole stupid attitude about Mia... Yeah, I hated his guts, that’s for sure. It also had the scene that I hate (Phoenix needs to fucking learn what PTSD is or I swear to god) but otherwise, very good case.
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth
Turnabout Visitor -- 5/10 HELLOOOOOO I was so excited to finally play these games that the whole case is a bit of a blur, but I do remember not really finding it that interesting outside of the whole rush of ‘FUCK YEAH I’M PLAYING INVESTIGATIONS’. Jacques annoyed me. But it’s Investigations. Investigations is cool.
Turnabout Airlines -- 7/10 Okay, first of all, Edgeworth hiding Steel Samurai stuff in a law book is genuinely just the funniest thing ever. But this case was pretty fun! I love that Franziska’s working with Interpol now, good for her! The characters were pretty cool (I really liked Cammy) and I thought a lot of it was pretty funny, too.
The Kidnapped Turnabout -- 6/10 The only reason this gets 6 points is because it introduced Kay Faraday, who is my chaos child that I love dearly, and also Shi-Long Lang, who I have a very complicated relationship with. It switches from love to hate frequently. It also introduced their totally epic theme songs, one of which is now my morning alarm. Otherwise, I really don’t like it that much. The case goes on for too long, and a lot of the characters are pretty annoying. I really hate Lance. I feel bad for Lauren, though. Ernest... Ugh. Ugh. The man makes me want to break things. Every time he mentions von Karma, he inevitably says something that makes my blood boil. And it brings back Wendy Oldbag, which is always bad news, and she was so fucking creepy, and... yeah. I enjoyed seeing Ema again, though! She seemed to be living her best life :)
Turnabout Reminiscence -- 9/10 This case had too much von Karma in it, and the fact that he went and called Edgeworth worthless right to his face made me so angry and upset... But! It is still a very good case! I really like Detective Badd, and Calisto... Calisto is very pretty and fun, but... yeah. Also! Baby Kay! Baby Kay is everything! And the sibling rights, they were everywhere! The case was just full of them! I love Miles and Franziska bickering like regular siblings. I love the scene with the Swiss rolls. I love Franziska getting between him and her dad. Sibling rights are so real.
Turnabout Ablaze -- 6/10 This case was pretty eventful. Not a favorite by any means, but still good. I thought it was a little too long, though, and the ending just really felt like it was dragging out too much. It got to the point that I wasn’t even fired up anymore, I was just kind of trying to get it all over with. Also, whether he meant it or not, Lang accusing Franziska of murder made me mad. But some of the twists were cool, even if I figured out most of them ahead of time... Also, Edgeworth getting really mad about Larry playing the Steel Samurai was hilarious, in a mean way. I felt a little bit bad for laughing.
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth: Prosecutor’s Path
Turnabout Target -- 4/10 This one was kinda boring, to be honest. I liked seeing Shelly de Killer again, though, with his matching ice cream cone. And I liked Nicole. (I bet I know who her first mentor was...)
The Imprisoned Turnabout -- 5/10 This one also kinda bored me, unfortunately. Raymond ticked me off from basically the moment he walked onscreen, because sure, let’s blame Edgeworth for [checks notes] ah yes, being manipulated by Manfred von Karma since he was nine. Let’s do that. Nothing wrong with that at all. /dripping sarcasm Sebastian also ticked me off at first, but I’m warming up to him. Also, I was in love at first sight with Justine Courtney. [heart eyes] I am not embarrassed in the slightest to admit to it. She is amazing. Simon is really funny and I think it would’ve been hilarious if he was actually evil, but he was innocent, so... My blood ran cold when I found out the Berry Big Circus was involved, but thank god, it was only Regina. No Franziska yet. I’m really hoping Franziska will show up.
The Inherited Turnabout -- 8/10 I haven’t finished this one yet, but so far, I’ve been enjoying it, even if it torments me with sadness and anger. Once again, von Karma shortens my lifespan, but Gregory Edgeworth lengthens it. (I think it’s really funny that they got ProZD to voice him.) Raymond... I still don’t like Raymond. Though his eating the paper is funny. Also! Also! Katherine Hall! This game introduced two women in a row that I have absolutely fallen for, and I have zero complaints about this. They are incredible. Sebastian is really funny in this one and like I said I am really warming up to him. Yeah. That’s all I really have to say so far. Still no sign of Franziska...
I’m definitely excited to see where the other cases in this game will take me, and after that it will be time for Apollo Justice! I am looking forward to finally meeting the famous Klavier Gavin... But I am not at all looking forward to meeting Kristoph... Oh, well. I’ll live. Probably.
Thank you for reading all of this, haha! I have a lot of thoughts... Many thoughts head full (of Ace Attorney).
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Ace Attorney: Rise From the Ashes (part 1)
A couple of people expressed interest in a writeup as I play through the game, so I thought I’d give quasi-liveblogging a try. It might have come out to be too detailed - let me know if the result is amusing enough to go through the next part.
(I knew this already, but wow liveblogging is a lot of work. And it must take twice as much effort to do this for a show and to include screencaps.)
(I’ve tried three times now to put proper line breaks/spacing in, and they’re just not displaying, at least on desktop. I’m sorry.)
A brief, stylized opening designed not to give away much, except that a creepy-looking doll is involved.
Two months? Phoenix, you haven't taken a single client since Maya left? a) are you depressed, and b) how are you paying rent on the office?
Ookay, you're not going to tell us why you've been moping around. I don't think it's that you have a crush on Maya. Are you just not able to function without a partner? That's not great for your ability to survive, but I can sympathize.
New perky assistant, right on cue. (A partner who isn't a young girl would be a nice change now and then. (But not Larry. Anyone but Larry. In fact, I take it back, this girl with the pink sunglasses will do just fine.))
Oof, Phoenix still not being able to say out loud that Mia's dead.
In the first two minutes pink-glasses girl has asserted that he's his female boss, the coffee boy, and 'better than nothing'. Aha! The problem with all the clients he turned down was that they didn't insult him enough.
Kid, you can't be more than sixteen, and you have silly face buttons on your lab coat. You are about as much a scientific investigator as Photography Girl last episode was a journalist. ...But apparently you have a future job lined up in forensics, so you're more organized than she was. And this world certainly could use more competent crime scene analysis.
"I promised her I'd bring Mia Fey". Huh. Is Mia's murder not well-known to the public, then, even though the Edgeworth case apparently got famous enough to earn Phoenix a bit of a reputation?
A murder charge with an eyewitness, and an assistant who "kind of hates" her sister the defendant. Sounds hopeless, let's do it! Off to the Detention Center.
...Did we just overhear the defendant threatening their terrified guard with a pay freeze? Is she their boss? And if she's someone that high up, why doesn't she already have a better defense attorney?
I like Lana Skye's character design. She looks as though she should be starring in a Takurazuka revue show, swearing eternal star-crossed love to a princess.
She insists she did it. By genre convention we know that can't be the case; my first assumption is that she's being forced to cover for someone, blackmailed or coerced by someone higher up in the system. But it would certainly be interesting if it turned out she was covering for Ema.
Must....resist...plotbunnies...
Oookay. A prosecutor should certainly know ways to commit murder without getting caught, and this sounds like the opposite of those ways. WHY does she claim she did this? You're not even going to ask her, are you? *headdesk*
Ema: "Please ignore that totally gay statement by my sister, because I certainly plan to!"
Lana: "No don't help me, go away go away go away go away go awa-oh fine."
Hmmm. From Ema's description of the behavior change, Lana has been being blackmailed or coerced for a long time now.
Time to go investigate the underground parking garage.
Attorneys aren't supposed to examine crime scenes, and defense attorneys aren't entitled to a copy of the police investigation reports. What does a "normal" defense attorney in this world do for their clients then? Always assume a loss and try to negotiate a plea bargain? I wonder if we'll ever get to see one in action.
It's...a cop with a cowboy fetish? Do police not have dress codes here? Maybe they're waived above a certain level, and some people take pride in cultivating a unique style to show off that they can. It would explain Edgeworth.
You are dramatically pretending to shave in front of us. Also you just called Ema a baby cow. Although you know her and seem sympathetic - I guess Lana brought her little sister to the office sometimes? Not sure what I think of you, Jake Marshall.
I am revising my stance. Being Phoenix's partner on a case requires precise and narrow qualifications. Specifically, just enough sense to stop him from doing something breathtakingly stupid, but not enough sense to take the badge firmly away from him and do the job themselves. Ema fits the bill perfectly.
Ooh, new mechanic! And an ID card number for a Bruce Goodman who dresses like a white-hat agent in Spy vs Spy. (I was trained on games that would require you to write that number down and remember it later, but AA will certainly be more forgiving.)
Using the new mechanic on Phoenix's attorney badge, I deduce that at some point this game it will be stolen.
It doesn't explain Lana's supposed actions, but that red sports car does kind of scream "My owner is a jerk, stuff a body in my trunk." Instead of a chalk outline, they seem to have outlined the hanging body with string? Is that actually a technique, and how do they get the rope to stay put in precise outline?
And the cowboy gives them a hint. So he's on their side but constrained by rules?
Lady put the boobs away. Why are you selling sushi in a negligee under a fur coat, at a crime scene? And why would anyone trust food from someone whose nickname is "the Cough-Up Queen"?
Angel Starr, dominatrix lunch lady. It says something that this is not the weirdest witness in an AA game so far.
She hates prosecutors, and therefore especially Lana. Not a trustworthy witness. But it's probably no fun to cater for a group of (relatively) wealthy and powerful people you despise. Especially if they're smugly giving awards to each other as they eat lunches. (Eeeevil lunches. She probably coughs on them.)
"The rhythmic beat of Lana Skye's knife"... very poetic, but didn't Lana say the victim was stabbed only once?
We can't get back to the car, phooey, so up to the prosecutor's office we go.
Pink...everywhere...no question whose office this is, even if one of his outfits wasn't framed on the wall. (why do you frame an outfit?) I see a very ugly trophy on the sofa, so he's the one who won the award.
Ema: "this is the kind of room that just screams 'I can do the job'. Actually it screams 'I don't need to pretend to be heterosexual', but the two aren't unconnected.
Is it just me or is that trophy broken off at the top?
Edgeworth did you just roll with being insulted and make a joke about it? I'm so proud of you, you've clearly relaxed since your murder trial!
BWAHAHA of course it was Edgeworth's car.
Wendy the security guard from the Steel Samurai case is sending Edgeworth expensive presents?? a) that's both funny and a little sad, b) how can she afford it, and c) he keeps and displays them which is very courteous.
WAIT did you - did this game just heavily suggest Gumshoe hangs out in the office a lot? Twice, once when you look at the shelves and again when you look at the desk? I don't ship it, but this is the point where I start to see why people do.
Awwww he's embarrassed about the trophy, that's cute. So he's the one who "devours the evillest lunches of all", hmm? I wouldn't have thought the Cough-Up Queen's weird not-even-fresh lunches would appeal to Edgeworth's refined tastes.
Ema actually has a bit of a crush, from the way she's rhapsodizing about Edgeworth sleeping on the sofa. d'awww. And I definitely want to know the story behind the outfit. Made by his mom and too precious to wear?
Edgeworth, no one thinks you did it. Sheesh. He certainly doesn't sound happy about having to prosecute Lana, even though he believes she's guilty. His car, his knife... it almost seems like this is a plot aimed at him, or perhaps a plot against Lana with a healthy dose of fuck-you-too-Edgeworth to it.
Huh. Maybe it *is* aimed at him. I've been assuming all this time from his behavior on the stand that Edgeworth has indeed been messing with evidence to convict obviously innocent people, and also assuming that it's common practice in this corrupt justice system. (Much as it is in Japan and in the US). But the way he's talking about rumors right now, it sounds more like he's being slandered. And he thinks the award he was given was out of mockery. Ouch.
So yes, the trophy is broken. (In RWBY, you assume everything is a gun; in AA, you assume everything is a murder weapon. It probably broke when it was used to hit someone over the head.)
Evidence transferal day, huh? Was the murder timed to draw attention away from a case being closed? And Edgeworth parked his car only three minutes before Goodman was stabbed and thrown into its trunk? No way. He was there for the murder, or more likely that's not when the murder happened. (Is he being coerced like Lana? I don't think so, but it's possible.)
Enter an idiot mailman with a bandaged hand. And exit, with sniveling. What was that about?
And a hint to go investigate at the police station. Is Edgeworth being friendly, attempting to signal something, or merely aware that the most efficient way to get rid of Phoenix is to give him a clue to chase?
The police department entrance, with some sort of plywood jester figure in front of it. We're offhandedly informed that it took 30 minutes to get there from Edgeworth's office, which means that will be important later.
This is the creepy doll from the intro! It's clearly meant to be a mascot. Was it made by the sniveling mailman? There's a certain resemblance...
No, I should've guessed that Gumshoe made it. I mean ... mechanically it's pretty clever for someone who's not a craftsman or engineer? Moving articulated limbs and all. It's just the aesthetics and design he shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near.
Yes, yes it is odd that only the top-ranked people are being allowed to work on the case. Are they all in on it? A patrolman in charge of the crime scene instead of a detective - that suggests Marshall is part of the conspiracy. I'm thinking the dominatrix lunch lady is too.
Gumshoe is so happy about the prosecutor's award - Edgeworth probably didn't have the heart to say that for him it's a mockery. Daww. (Also there's something endearingly cheerful about his hopping-caterpillar eyebrows.) He's also being much more helpful than his superiors would want, probably just because he thinks of Phoenix as an ally in general now.
Back to the parking lot, with a letter of introduction in hand this time.
I genuinely can't tell if the lunch lady is a sex worker, if she actually has multiple boyfriends, or if that's code for her professional contacts in whatever she's really doing here. (And that's an interesting cultural bit, isn't it - any of those options seem possible, and I'm not expecting any of the characters to question her competence or morality because of it, not even in court. If this was a US-made game my expectations would be...different.)
"Good men always die young"...I see what you did there, Marshall.
Autopsy report confirms one stab wound. Lana and the victim worked together on "a case a few years back", ding ding ding. Someone didn't want the evidence for that case transferred. Or looked at.
Marshall used to be a detective but got demoted? And he's lying about why he was assigned to the crime scene, and telling us Gumshoe is off the case because he's friends with Edgeworth. The police chief, whoever he is, is now at the top of my suspect list.
Happily, the game will let me do dumbass things like show off Goodman's ID card without consequences. Marshall seems very uninterested in it and why it was found so far from the spot of the murder, which I take to mean "we have our official narrative, don't go messing it up with facts or evidence."
Finally we can examine the car! First up, Lana's cellphone. The whole business about hitting redial and somehow not knowing that Ema's phone rang was weird. Phoenix’s lie couldn't possibly have fooled Marshall, who is bizarrely claiming there's no way to know who the last call was made to. It's an odd thing to conceal, even given the “no facts please we have our narrative” stance. Maybe he's trying to protect Ema somehow?)
Marshall said the rumors about Edgeworth came from Lana. And we have a note found in the trunk: 6-7S 12/2, on a piece of Goodman's stationery.
Er, yeah, Ema, why didn't you mention your sister called you 3 minutes after the claimed murder time? If Lana hung up right away that's hardly incriminating for either of you.
End of Day One! We are, as usual, completely unprepared for tomorrow morning's trial.
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