i'm thinking about the wgm i saw on tiktok and and imagine you and rindou in that show. It was your first meeting and you barely know each other but eventually did as the show rolled on. And at the end of the season, it was time to say goodbye. You didn't want to. Not when everything you guys did during the whole season. None of it was real, yet part of you wished it was. Not when the way Rindou held you and laughed with you. The eyes, oh those lilac eyes that really did a tug at your heart. Everytime he looks at you..it feels so warm and beautiful. The compliments he gives you, "You're pretty", "You look beautiful", "You're amazing" simple words like those that made you blush. Those words coming out of his lips always made an impact on your heart. You don't know--Rindou is just a man that you met on the set. But the way the show went on with the two of you as one of the pretend couples, you feel like, some of those moments felt real and you always think, at the end of the day, if some of those are the 'real him'. You want to get to know the real rindou, because each time he makes you feel light as a feather whenever you're with him, your heart sinks. Light. Kind. Peaceful. Present. Lovely. This whole thing feels so painfully beautiful. He is beautiful. And before the show is over, he gives you a pouch, one that looks familiar. You opened it. It was a mix tape. You couldn't help but to sob at the words written on top of it. It was your initials next to his. He didn't say much during the final set- only did to comfort you, as you hugged him and you buried your face on the crook of his neck because you can't possibly contain the emotions that already filled the bottle in your heart that threatened to burst out. And as if he knows your struggle, he positioned himself in a way that an angle of your current state won't be caught by the camera. And then he held you. Listening to your sobs and caressing your hair. And just like that, you parted ways with a stranger you developed a strange attachment you cannot describe completely.

I cried while watching BIGBANG's new song 'Still Life'. They may not have announced it officially but i truly believe this is the last song they'll ever release

I Can't Fall In Love Without You || K.J. Apa

A/n: This was requested by @namelesslosers . Thank you!! I fucked it up a bit, but i hope you’ll still like it!

Summary: Y/n is a famous singer/actress who used to date KJ. When one night, at a ceremony they’re both attending, she performs a song that’s ‘not-so-subtly’ about him, things take a turn.

-

“Y/n, hurry! why aren’t you dressed?” or “Sign your name here, here and here” or “You have to go to this event, everyone will there” Words could never describe just how sick you were of having to put up with this specific façade. This on going rush you’ve been living in, this ever lasting maze of horror filled fake smiles, exhausted in you in a way you never thought possible. The life inside you was now grey colored, and a dark aura surrounded you. At this point, you had the exact same job, hung out with the exact same people, lived in the same house and slept in the same bed as you did when you still had him. Walking inside your apartment and not hearing any “Babe, I made food, the top is a little burnt but I’ll eat that part, I swear the bottom tastes really good. Gordon Ramsey taught me” felt utterly useless, and it didn’t take long before it turned into dread. The Grammy’s were tonight, and you sighed heavily as you got out of the limousine, realizing this was yet another red carpet you’d walk without KJ by your side. You’ve done it for years before meeting him, you knew what to do and how to act, the whole thing was that you didn’t want to do it by yourself. You missed his arm around your waist, and those stupid dad jokes he’s whisper in your ear just to get you to flash that genuine smile of yours for the camera. Despite being media trained and knowing exactly what to do, how to keep your legs and shoulders, where to look and so on in order to look good in pictures, KJ knew just how much better you looked when your true feeling were showing. All things considered, you were sure no one noticed just how much different you looked without him, but frankly, you were glad they had no idea. The last thing you needed were more questions about him, considering it had been months since you two parted ways.

“God!” Mary exclaimed, rushing to you, “How many times do I have to say this! Don’t sit down!” “Yeah yeah yeah” you mumbled, standing up from the armchair. Your eyes were still trained on the screen of your phone, following carefully a thread showing all the outfits people wore to the event. You knew Joe was invited, but since he wasn’t a nominee or an important guest, you weren’t surprised you didn’t see pictures of him yet. “Looking for him again?” your best friend sighed, “You’re performing in 2 minutes, get your vibes on!” “I’d fucking have my vibes on-” you snapped, talking as you walked away from her, “If you’d just let me be!” “What’s gotten your panties in a bunch, huh?” she taunted, walking towards you, “Haven’t seen you this moody in a while” “Meg, you know I love you” you sighed, turning around just enough to be able to look her in the eye, “But now is not the time” “It’s KJ, isn’t it?” “No, it’s not” you lied with a roll of your eyes, “I’m just nervous, that’s all” To be fair, it wasn’t a complete lie. You really were more nervous than you’ve been in ages, but that was because this was the biggest stage you’d walk on without as much as a smile of encouragement from him. KJ was somewhere in the audience, and the fact that your source of confidence would just watch your performance from beginning to end without having any direct influence over it, made you knees weak. Eventually, there was no where for you to hide anymore as the time to step on stage finally came. You did so on shaky knees, but as soon as your ears were met with chants of excitement and rounds of applause, you remembered why you chose this path in life. After a few seconds the lights dimmed, and silence settled. The song you had to perform wasn’t the most vocally challenging, but the emotional baggage it brought upon you was enough to make your lungs shake with every word you sang.

“I can be out every night No one else holding me down I can do just what I like But I can’t fall in love without you I can’t fall in love without you

Please don’t fall in love without me I hope you’re sorry Can’t find the words to say Hope you’re always worried Worryin’ ‘bout me”

Your palms were sweaty against the microphone and your ears were ever so numb, that you could barely hear yourself. The emotion for this song came from somewhere deep within, and you knew your secret was out - if you could even call it a secret. But at that moment, you didn’t care about them, all you saw before your eyes were the endless nights you spent without KJ. It didn’t matter if you were alone or not, it was his company you wanted, not anyone else’s. After your performance, Shawn Mendes took the stage and ended the whole ceremony, as you watched quietly from backstage. When everything was over, you hurried to change out of your long light blue dress, and into a black one, which despite being less revealing, was shorter and tighter. Ditching your pair of high heel sandals in favor of a pair of silver stilettos, you jumped into your car, where your stylist did her magic, and turned your flawless curls into a sea of messy waves. While you were still more than a few blocks away from where the after  party was to be held, your phone started blowing up. Twitter had gone mad, 3 different hashtags involving you and KJ were trending, your Instagram follower count had gone up by 80.000 bringing you close to the 70M milestone. All kinds of magazines and websites, most of which you haven’t even heard of before were posting about you, updating, speculating and analyzing. As it turns out, performing a song that was obviously about your ex after you’ve just received the first Grammy of your career, was indeed a big deal. The way from your car and to the door of the venue was quitter than you expected, but it was still early and the paparazzi hadn’t yet found the location. You calmly walked inside, the party already in full swing. A lot of celebrities that had no business attending the ceremony but were considered important enough by the mainstream media, were invited to this party. Most of your friends were there, so it didn’t take long for you to mingle in. You tried keeping yourself busy jumping from group to group, meeting new people and seeing old friends, but your mind wasn’t having it. KJ was still haunting your thoughts, so you made your way to the bar, hoping a drink would help you get in the mood to party. As you pondered what to order, you felt a very familiar cologne invade your senses. It made your knees weak, and your heart was beating at a pace that was by no means safe as you feared that at any moment, it would physically burst out of your chest. “Two strawberry vodka” you heard him saw, and it took everything inside of you not at aww at his words, as that had been your drink, starting from your very first date, up to the last time you drank together. “Wow” you smiled, turning to him, “Classy” “You taught me” KJ laughed, already blushing. It might have been the light, but the red in his hair was darker and his dark brown roots were beginning to show - that was something you always loved about him. He was wearing a plain white t shirt tucked into black jeans, and had his hair not been red, he would have made a perfect James Dean. “What’s up?” you asked softly, facing him completely despite still leaning against the bar. “I just wanted to congratulate you” he said, waving his arm. He would have touched you, squeezed your elbow or patted your shoulder, but you sensed the fear in his gestures, and it truly pained you. “Thank you” you smiled, “This is really big, didn’t think I’d win” “I knew you would” he grinned. “Did you?” “Yeah!” KJ nodded, before his smile faded, “I actually wanted to text you last night and wish you good luck and all that, but I figured it was a bad idea” “It wasn’t” you pouted, “I would have appreciated it. But now is almost just as good” He looked at you, his eyes lingering on yours as a new kind of smile curled the corners of his lips upwards. “I know just the thing-” he mumbled, grabbing his phone out of his right pocket. He kept it so you couldn’t see what he was doing, but soon after your drinks arrived, he placed his phone back in his pocket, and an exact second later, your own buzzed. “Oh god” you giggled, rolling your eyes. It was obviously a text from him, but you didn’t hesitate to read it. “Hey, Y/N, I know we haven’t talked in ages and I hate that a lot. I am also aware I missed a lot of important things in your life, but I did follow as much as I could through the internet so my prediction is based on facts. I’ll keep this short because I know you don’t like sappy moments, but that Grammy is yours. There’s no doubt about it. One day, you’ll win an Oscar too, I know it. Good luck, angel! x” “See?” you whined, stomping your foot against the floor, “Why are you like this?” “Like what?” he asked curious, leaning his head to the side. “Like-” you stuttered, furrowing your brows, “Like you!” “Like me?” KJ laughed, advancing towards you a bit, but still keeping a decent distance between your bodies, “Why am I like me? what do you mean?” You rolled your eyes with a scoff, “You know what I mean!” “Why do I still worry about you even after all this time?” he teased, coming another step closer. Despite knowing where this was going you didn’t have it in you to stop it, “Don’t make references to my song!” “It’s a good song” he defended himself. “Of course it is” you scoffed, closing the distance between your bodies. “Why? Because you wrote it?” KJ mocked, wrapping his left arm around your middle. You looked up into his eyes and saw him smiling down at you. It warmed your heart as you haven’t seen that exact reaction in months, and to be honest, it was you absolute favorite thing in the word. He looked at you in complete awe and you were done. “No…” you whispered, “Because it’s about you” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “I still love you, you know? Nothing changed for me, and it won’t anytime soon” Your teasing mood and flirty attitude disappeared in an instant, now you were sad, angry - at yourself, and had no idea what to do. “I shouldn’t have performed that song, this isn’t ok” Despite saying these things, you didn’t back away from him. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him and hid your face in his neck. KJ brought you closer to his chest, holding you tight around your middle. It was a hug at the edge between a reunion and a goodbye, and you were dead set on not letting go of him until you knew which one of the two it actually was. “Hey-” KJ said, gently pushing you away so he could look into your eyes as he spoke, “We can talk about this, whatever it is. Let’s go outside and-” “No” you shook your head, “I can’t do this tonight” “I-” he tried to speak, obviously taken aback, but you stopped him. “I waited for this night ever since I was 8. I dreamed about holding that award in my hands for so long, I don’t want anything to ruin this for me” It was visible just how much your words pained him, but he held it all back. Or at least he tried. Tears glistered at the corners of his eyes, but he still nodded in agreement, taking a step back, “I respect that” You grabbed his hand to stop him, as you didn’t want to let anything unfinished, “I do love you, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Take me back-” you said, “for tonight. Can everything go back to normal, just for this night, and we’ll talk about it in the morning, and we’ll work through things as they come, I thought I-” KJ cut you off, as he grabbed your cheeks, and kissed you. He was more passionate than you ever felt him. You’ve done this so many times, yet this felling right now, it was knew. You teeth still clanked against his, and you still licked the corner of his mouth by mistake, but your eyes remained closed, just as his, because this was new. This was the beginning of something new. It was like your very first kiss all over again. With one arm around you and a hand planted on the side of your rib cage, he held you as close as he could, every now and then sighing against your lips, sighs which eventually turned into little moans, until you had to pull away. “Scare me like that ever again-” “What?” you laughed, “Did you think we were gonna break up again, or?” “Are you ever not this sassy?” KJ exclaimed. “Would I still be the woman you fell in love with if I didn’t mock you?” He laughed out loud, “Probably not, so please don’t ever stop”

OT2018 CONCERT IN MADRID (aka the best thing I've ever experienced in my life)

I waited on the line for around four hours all by myself cause my friend came at 7. I had a general floor ticket so we waited there for another hour and a half in which Famous, Alba and Natalia's family came and everyone starting shouting out at them. That was really cool, especially when Rafi and Marina (Alba's mother and sister) and Elena (Natalia's sister) came and everyone went crazy with them.

(Btw everytime I say "people" or "crowd", I'm also including myself xd)

The show started with "This is me" which was so cool and we get to see one of their outfits for the first time and let me tell you THEY ALL LOOKED AMAZING. María was the first one to talk after that performance and she was as iconic as she always is and she was crying like well most of them were.

I don't remember exactly the order of the songs but basically:

-They all sang "This is me", "Spice up your life" (THEN POLKAAAA), "Don't stop me now", "Somos" (that was presented by Julia and Natalia cause they wrote the song together) and "Viva la vida".

-Alfonso sang "Pégate" and "Échame la culpa" with Sabela which made us dance a lot.

-África sang "God's a woman" and "Perfect" with Damion AND THEY KISSED.

-Joan sang "Bed I made" and "Another day of sun" with Marilia and they were both so adorable.

-Dave sang "Rock and Roll Bumerang" which was so fun and "Vivir" with Julia.

-Damion sang "Give me love" which was beautiful and "Perfect"

-Marilia sang "Hasta la raíz" and "Another day of sun".

-Carlos sang "Everything" and "Mi historia entre tus dedos" with Julia that made all the straight people and Julright shippers go mad and "El ataque de las chicas cocodrilo" with Miki.

-Noelia sang "Stone Cold" and her voice sounded so powerful and "Respect" with Alba.

-María sang "Voy en un coche" and it was LA HOSTIA and "1, 2, 3" with Famous.

-Marta sang "One more try" which was so beautiful, gosh I'm so obsessed with it and "September" with Famous which was really cool and they both look so good in their outfits.

- Miki sang "Una lluna a l'aigua", "El ataque de las chicas cocodrilo" and "La venda" and I gotta say he has a gift for getting people into a party mood even though during 90% of the show, we were in that mood

- Sabela sang "Benditas feridas" (This is my favorite song from hers so I was so happy she decided to sing it), "El cuarto de Tula" and "Échame la culpa" .

- Julia sang "90 Minutos" and she was crying during the performance so it was even more emotional than it would had been if she didn't cry, "MI historia entre tus dedos", "Vivir" and "Este amor ya no se toca".

- Famous sang "And I'm telling you I'm not going" and his vocals snatched my wig, "Uptown funk", "September", "1,2,3" and "Feel it still" with Natalia.

- Alba sang "She used to be mine", "La llorona", "Respect", "Toxic" and "Este amor ya no se toca"

- Natalia sang "Feel it still", "The Scientist", "Seven Nation Army", "Toxic" and "Este amor ya no se toca".

Now I gotta speak in detail about Alba and Natalia's performances because they were so awesome they deserve it (sorry not sorry I know I'm biased but I can't help it)

"She used to be mine" made me thought of that moment in Los Javis's classroom and it made me really emotional. "La llorona" was her best performance and I really think watching it live at least once gotta be on everyone's bucket list. I could write a 5000 thousand word essay about Nat singing "The scientist" while playing the piano and it wouldn't be fair because it can't be described. If you thought that watching it through a screen left you speechless, you have to experience it live. It was so raw and emotional and her fingers were shaking and gosh I can't find the words to describe it. On the other hand "Seven Nation Army" was the definition of the most epic performance ever. Listening to everyone singing "LOLOLOLOLOLOLO" was incredible. "Este amor ya no se toca" was soooo fun and when Julia and Alba shouted "MAMARRACHAS" (or mamarracheo) was the peak of humor. Finally let's talk about "Toxic". Some people were disappointed with it because the choreography changed and they weren't dancing as close or as sensual as the original performance but I don't totally agree with that. The energy that I felt was exactly the same or even more powerful cause yeah they didn't touch as much as the first one but their glanzes and their attitude (especially Natalia's which was a little bit of a plot twist cause Alba used to be more top than her) were way more intense.

My other favorite performances were "Voy en un coche", "La venda", "And I'm telling you I'm not going", "One more try" and "90 minutos".

So my friend recorded some performances but her phone camera is really bad so they aren't exactly worth sharing. I recorded some audios too that are basically me singing (shouting) along 😅😅😅. So I recommend you watching the performances from OT YouTube channel where they will post all of them in high quality or from some Twitter profiles like @bollodrameria or @NataliaLweb (or other profiles dedicated to every contestant). Another YT channel where you can watch the performances is "Cristina Fernández", I recommend you watching "Don't stop me now". Thank me later 😉

I paid 60€ for the ticket and they were SOOOO worthy. I would pay a lot more for the whole experience or well tbh I would pay a lot more just to see Natalia wearing those pants showing her abs and hips 😅🔥