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collapsingintojupiter · 4 years

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So recently I did the adventure “Arecibo” on Io; the first time it freaked me out a little so I grabbed a friend and we did it again. I’m glad we did, because I found out that it referenced a lot of human history in a very interesting way once I started digging into it.

Now, I know I’m not a Destiny vet in any way, so don’t hate on me if I’m off on a few details. I’m just here to have fun and guess at some things. If you’ve got ideas though, feel free to add them.

Anyways, let’s dig into the analysis of this thing, shall we?

The adventure opens up with Ghost hearing what he says is strange music, which you learn later is capable of affecting the Vex as well as himself. Not only that, but he says it predates the Traveler’s arrival in our system.

However, that’s not the interesting part.

The interesting part was that, in these “music boxes,” if you will, there were several encoded messages. I wrote all of them down and did a bit of research, and what I found was honestly pretty fascinating.

Allow me to elaborate.

The first quote, “Real things in the darkness seem no realer than dreams,” comes from the Japanese poet Murasaki Shikibu in her book “The Tale of Gengi,” which is widely considered to be the world’s first novel.

The second one gets a little more interesting: “Misdirected by accident or intent, intelligence can foster its own systems of ecstasy and decay.” Now the quotation isn’t exact, but it comes from the African-American science fiction writer Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower. The tale is apparently, and I quote, a “ terrifying vision of a dismal future brought on by the willful ignorance, racism and greed of human beings.”

The third quote gets even more interesting; “Once war has been undertaen, peace is never made by pretending there is no war.” This comes from the Sanskrit epic Mahabharata’s fifth book, Udyoga Parva. This one talks of “the effort for peace that fails, followed by the effort to prepare for the great war” which, knowing of humanity’s current state, is a rather interesting find.

The last quote comes from the Russian author Mikhail Bulgakov, and his book The Master and Margarita: “Never ask for anything, never for anything, especially from those who are stronger than you. They’ll make the offer themselves, and give everything themselves.” In this book, Bulgakov apparently "portrays evil as being as inseparable from our world as light is from darkness” which I find to be the most interesting link of all especially when you draw from Destiny’s lore regarding the Darkness and the Light and their eons-long “game” of creation and destruction.

After that, as you know if you’ve done the mission, Ghost appears to be possessed by the AI you were following, and it screams something that sounds like “Red sands. Mars. Icecaps.” --before disappearing without a trace. I dug up a scene where Rasputin spoke to Ana Bray, and to be honest that part there where Ghost is temporarily possessed sounds a lot like him in the cutscene. It also seems like a reference to the Clovis Bray facility, which I believe is (currently) one of the warmind’s main locations.

Now here I’m going to diverge a little bit from analysis on this specific mission, because when I spoke to @cookieundertherock about this she told me that Rasputin and Charlemagne (I learned he was the Mars Warmind during the Golden Age and was overwhelmed by the Darkness, I’m assuming? I’m not sure--) were both fairly well-known historical figures, something I might’ve known if I hadn’t slept through nearly all my highschool history classes...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, I was informed that Charlemagne, first of all, was a famous and extremely powerful king; Wikipedia tells me that he was “King of the Franks from 768, King of the Lombards from 774, and Emperor of the Romans from 800.” He died of pleuritis in 813.

That’s where the interesting stuff pretty much ends for him, but I found a lot more stuff of Rasputin, especially where I was able to pull parallels from what I found.

So, from what cookie told me was that this guy was like, really popular back in his time. He was something of a wanderer, and a self-proclaimed prophet. The tsar apparently really liked him because he helped their son Alexi, who had hemophilia, and he ended up with a very good position. His influence led a few to believe he’d made deals with the devil, apparently, and eventually a few other nobles got sick of him and tried to assassinate him.

Rasputin, they then discovered, was not very easy to kill. They tried giving him poisoned cakes and tea, and when that didn’t work they shot him and left. Apparently one came back later, and Rasputin--who still hadn’t died--attacked the dude. He chased him out of the place, to where he was then shot two more times in the head (I think, don’t quote me). I believe they then dumped him in a river but like...yeah. This dude wasn’t easy to get rid of.

You can probably guess a few of the parallels I found in that, but I do think it’s interesting that Rasputin is the only surviving Warmind after the encounter with the Darkness; not only that but he’s all over the solar system, sort of “wandering” between the AIs on different planets he has access to. He is also incredibly powerful, and distrusted by at least some guardians--Zavala, for example, has said multiple times that he doesn’t trust Rasputin’s motives and seems to be very hesitant to have anything to do with him.

Anyways, backtracking from that...

The last thing I looked into was the name “Arecibo,” because I figured it had to come from somewhere. And it does; Arecibo is an observatory in Puerto Rico that actually has a rather long history with trying to send messages into space; a bit of a well-known one was the Arecibo Message sent out in 1974 to celebrate the remodeling of the observatory, sent to the globular star cluster M13.

And with that massive infodump out of the way, I come to my take on this mission: I’m pretty damn sure the AI we found was Rasputin, and that he indeed led us to him on purpose. He seems to be letting us know that he’s there and that he’s plenty strong; that last quote especially in some ways ties to the end of the campaign “Warmind,” where Rasputin informs us through Ana Bray that he will take care of humanity on his own terms. Some of what was said also seems to refer to the Darkness; perhaps a warning that it will return or that the fight is not yet over, or both.

tl;dr the Arecibo mission on Io is fucking cool and y’all should go check it out if you play Destiny.

#I literally don't care if nobody reads this #but it was driving my adhd brain insane so #I had to write it down before my head imploded #thanks y'all for your patience #destiny #ghost #destiny theory

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thedistantstorm · 5 years

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The Lion’s Heart 10

A shield, she realizes. The Traveler has gifted me a shield. I am a Defender: the last, lonely sentinel.

The tale of a different kind of Guardian: one who does not want the accolade of saving the world, who does not understand why she would be chosen to wield the Light remaining in the Shard. Once a reckless, dazzling Striker, the Traveler’s chosen is reborn a silent Sentinel. This is Kira’s story; About bringing people together, reclaiming their city, and overcoming the darkness despite it all.

Previous Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09

Cayde thinks he’s funny.

He always has.

Kira just isn't as good at following along anymore.

She tries to laugh, tries to react how he - how he expects everyone to react - but it’s hard. The one time she tries to force out the words, he cuts her off, exasperated that it takes her so long.

She doesn’t try after that.

He doesn't mean anything by it, she knows, he just operates to the tune of his own schemes: easy-going and free, the picturesque idea of a Hunter. It's easy to get lost in the lush, humid, Vex-twisted forests of Nessus; Easy to forget for a moment what's happening at home, until some Red Legion scum tries lining her up in her sights and she has to shake off the images of Towerfall, hiding behind a rock formation until she feels the restless hum of the void and bathes her enemy in violet-blue.

She wonders if that's why Cayde's come here. Wonders why he and Ikora didn't come when they heard Zavala's message.

They had to have heard Zavala's message.

Then, he tells her why he has the Vex Teleporter he's procured. So, maybe it's not, she thinks. Maybe he is helping, in his own way. Of course, he thinks it's the single item that's going to win them the war. Ghost tells her the teleporter is mid-range at best.

Kira doesn't really care about shady Vex tech. She really just wants to go home.

Right now that's a cot that isn't her own, and a place that smells like wet grass and campfire; Quiet voices that curl like smoke in gentle whispers to cut through her dreams.

Cayde, like he can read her thoughts, tells her he'll go to the Farm, but she'd better go get Ikora.

“Time's 'a wastin’,” His voice crackles, like a whip. “Once the three of us get together, with you in the mix, that ugly space rhino will be a breeze!”

Kira sighs, and tells Ghost not to bother when his optic narrows and his shell shivers in barely concealed rage. “You're not just some weapon,” He seethes privately. She shrugs. It's not worth arguing, she's never been able to pin down what Cayde thinks. Ghost doesn't comment that she's not trying to speak again, just hovers dutifully over her shoulder as she clomps tiredly back to their ship.

He patches her into Earthen comms once they're back in orbit. Cayde's in there already, barking over Hawthorne's voice - “Hey, heard you guys missed me,” And Zavala is already sighing heavily. Cayde's ship left not a minute before she did. Seems he didn't want to waste any time, she thinks. Even without solar flares and meteor showers, he's still hours away from even breaking Earth's atmosphere.

There's a blip on her comm, a private request. She does not miss how Zavala tells Cayde in a harsh bark that he may listen, but there are missions underway and he can fraternize when his boots are on terra firma.

“Kira, report,” Zavala's voice cuts, sounding leagues closer than the static-laiden radio droning in the cockpit. She missed where Ghost had patched the request in, so she jerks a little at the sound. His voice drops lower, as if he might have expected as much. “Did everything go alright?”

“Yes,” She answers, immediately.

There's nothing but quiet breathing on the other side. Long, slow, deep breaths. It's calming. A difference from the chaotic cry of distant Vex hydras and dragon-birds that squawk through humid red-brown forests. She sighs. He's waiting for the rest, wants her to tell him more, but everything really did go fine and she doesn't want to talk about it.

“Cayde has informed Hawthorne that he's sending you to Io.”

“He has,” She confirms.

“If the situation were not nearly as dire, I'd have you come back first, but… we cannot afford to waste time. I need Ikora with us.”

“Understood.” Quieter, she mumbles ruefully, “I can handle it.”

He chuckles, and the exchange almost feels routine. Normal. “Even so.”

When another silence spans between them, she takes a deep breath and asks: “Is everything alright there?”

Zavala collects himself, speaking evenly, “Hawthorne is preparing her speech to put Cayde in his place. I'm sure you heard him already trying to override her.”

She hums, tipping her head back against the headrest. She'd slept for a week, but she already feels tired again. “Don't let him.”

“I won't. Not completely,” He assures his charge “You sound protective of her.”

“She's good people.”

“Yes,” Zavala agrees. “I believe she is.”

Kira smiles - a tiny, lopsided little thing - and closes her eyes.

“Cayde is rambling about the Vex,” Ghost comments idly, scoffing, “Pretty sure we did all the fighting.”

There's only static for a couple moments. Then, tentatively, “Did you... happen to,” Zavala ventures, “Shoulder charge any Minotaurs?”

Kira blinks open her eyes in soft surprise. “I did,” She replies softly.

“How many times to bring it down?”

“One,” She answers immediately, thinking back to another time and place.

“You should have seen it, Zavala!” Ghost wobbles and feints across the small cockpit. “It wasn't a small one either!”

“You've grown,” He tells her. She can hear the smile there, in his tone. It makes her feel warm inside. “I'm proud of you, Titan.” He clears his throat, trying not to be too sentimental but failing all the same. “More than words could say.”

Ikora’s words blister her ears.

“What good is a resistance when you are the only one who would survive?”

Through the white noise, the static in her brain, and the clenching of her fists so tightly she thinks she’s going to rip apart her gauntlets, Kira realizes one powerful truth. The Warlock Vanguard is paralyzed by her fear of permanent death.

Kira resists the urge to tell the Warlock Vanguard that no small part of her wishes she had died back there.

Angry words burn at the back of her throat like bile, the replies for the Warlock's commentary kept at bay. Kira knows what fear and futility feel like. She can empathize with Ikora feeling like there was more she could have done.

She doesn't feel upset when Ghost tells the Warlock Vanguard that there's nothing she could have done, even if she thinks otherwise. Ikora should have come home, she thinks. At least Cayde had wanted to, but he'd gotten… stuck.

When they have Ikora reasonably convinced - her conviction to go home is encouraging - and the Taken under control, Asher Mir makes himself known. His near constant yelling and degradation makes her uncomfortable.

She isn't his assistant, damn it.

Asher's plain disdain for Titans makes her furious. Not so much for herself. She doesn't care what he thinks of her. No, not one bit.

Asher's ire is pointed squarely at her Commander. Her Vanguard. The man who embodies everything she aspires to be. The man who is willing to die to take back their home, to keep his people safe, while this coward hides and screams about everything and everyone and impatiently waits for the end.

Kira stays silent while she listens to the two Warlocks spin theories and talk down to her - not her specifically, but she's a Titan too, damn it all - while she runs around thwarting the Taken and the Vex. All for a Warmind to tell them something they already know.

When the Cabal leave a system - win or lose - they leave nothing behind.

If they wanted to consult a Warmind so badly, she gripes silently to Ghost as she hops on her sparrow, They should have gone to the Cosmodrome.

Asher mocks Zavala again over the comms, as if he can hear her thinking unpleasantly about them. She bites her lip so hard that it bleeds.

Ghost cuts off the feed to her helm, and she slows her speed, projecting her concern that something's gone wrong. “Everything’s fine,” He's quick to clarify. “I'll keep tabs on the comms, at least until we get to the base. If they say something relevant, I’ll fill you in.”

When they return to Asher, and Ikora formally bids them farewell - she's going to rejoin her Fireteam on the premise that Zavala will do something stupid - Kira stands firm and silent before him.

"Finally,' Asher says when they're alone, "I thought she'd never leave. Come now. There are several things I need you to do for me before you go back, assistant."

She regards him coolly and does not follow him back to the alcove of shell-like rock that serves as his operations base.

"I certainly hope you are not proving to be like the rest of your ilk," He growls, when she makes no indication of further interest, simply stares him down. Asher's voice carries like a thunderclap. "Assistant! Pay attention!"

Kira's eyes slide over to him, and her Ghost appears over her shoulder, looking at her in worry. His broken ceremonial shell twitches in concern.

"Kira," He warns.

But the Guardian does not stop. She stands toe to toe with the Vex-compromised Warlock. What she does not have in towering height, she has in broad shoulders. She is not a small woman. Her eyes narrow, almost maroon in the shady shadows of the inlet.

"I am not your assistant," Kira snarls are him. "I'm going home."

"Ah yes, typical Titan idiocy. Unable to complete a simple task without the order from your superior." He laughs. It's meant to be a dig at her. If he notices her anger, he does not care. "Well, go on then, back to your precious Commander. If the system implodes, I'll know it was you headbutting something you shouldn't have."

The Titan straightens. She does not have to speak loudly to demand his attention. "For all your demeaning conversation," Kira imparts in a volume barely above a whisper, "You've told me nothing I hadn't managed to infer before."

"The Great Vu-vu-zela knew the Cabal's Flagship would destroy the sun, did he?"

She remains quiet. They'd had theories, but nothing confirmed. “We-”

"That's what I thought. Now, if you'll excuse me, Titan, I have to find another assistant as mine has shown her true colors."

#commander zavala #asher mir #cayde 6 #ikora rey #destiny fanfiction #destiny stories #destiny 2 #nessus #io #the red war #tw: ptsd #zavala is tower dad #suraya hawthorne #collection: the lion's heart

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dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd · 6 years

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Hey, so I know the Destiny fandom are in a bit of a rough patch regarding um... Yesterday. Personally, I thought it intrigued me enough to know how the story will go. Not intrigued enough to the point I'm sure it"ll be amazing (Bungie gotta stick the landing first), but still intrigued nontheless. BTW, how do you feel about Gambit (the game mode, that is lol)?

I LOVE the look of Gambit. I just watched the trailer and it looks like a lot of fun, the arena, how it works, everything. I really hope we can have 4v4 private matches so there can be good screamy fun to be had. PvP with a twist, perfect.

I’m certainly very very very intrigued about the story though I will be so sad if Cayde is permadead. My mind has be writing the DLC plot all damn day, and I’ve been mentally sending my OCs all over the planets in search of his Ghost, getting Braytech data back-ups of his personality from Ana, running simulations with Osiris, talking with Shiro about the Vanguard as he’s had to step up…Gah! I just want everyone to work together to fix this mess and for everyone to be okay in the end. For Cayde to be Cayde, even if he’s now a Warmind or is Cayde-7 or not a Guardian anymore.

Stick the landing, Bungo. Thanks for the ask xx

#destiny forsaken spoilers #ask and answer

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that-other-him · 3 years

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[Bodyguard] (Destiny Warmind AU)

Winter floated in empty space, eyes following the text on the magazine floating in front of her while most of her mind focused on the sound of tramping feet and bullets firing. The city had reached out to her, looking for an expert on Ra when he’d made his dirty laundry their problem. He’d been the one to reach out with the prospect of a truce, sure, but these ops being run since-the ones she was keeping a mental eye on- were surely benefiting him more than the city no matter what he’d convinced them.

So, she made sure the guardians had a voice of reason with them. It was a little different than coordinating them as a bounty office, and most of the info given to the guardians was coming from that hollow-eyed envoy he’d sent as his representative to the city. That didn’t mean she couldn’t help keep them safe, and it felt damn good to be really helping people again for the first time since the Ira Terra.

As the last of the Bray cultists stopped moving on that far-off planetoid, the guardians counting their engrams and preparing to transmat back to their ships, Winter felt an odd twitch. She opened her eyes, the virtual magazine being replaced again by the ceiling of the hab three feet above her, but the twinge was still there. Mentally, she checked the various systems she was connected to, wondering what could be sending the unfamiliar signal. When she found it, what little movement there was came to a halt.

The sensor array built into the quarantine wall, the one she was nominally here to monitor, had just put out an alert that an object was rapidly approaching from orbit directly towards her location.

It couldn’t be the cultists, right? Ridiculous, they wouldn’t even know she was involved in the operation. A surprise visit? She’d still get a warning, any ship on the network should have had its IP pinged when it came in range. Which, Winter realised with crawling dread, meant there was still the possibility of a ship not on the network. A stealthed craft, locked onto her undetectable location, approaching her less than a week after making contact with the Broken Lance joint initiative.

Ra had sent his killers for her.

...

But, that didn’t sound right. He was scum, a remorseless killer whose grave she’d gladly dance on...but the man had a more rigid code of honour than anyone else she knew. Officially, she was part of the truce agreement. Regardless of the bounty he’d placed on her, there was no way the monster she knew would try to kill her now. So what the hell was he doing?

The shuttle settled comfortably on the landing pad, the active sensors around it letting the ship’s autopilot know exactly where to hang. The pad was set in and slightly down from the wall, giving Winter’s current vantage point on the walk at its top a clear view from outside of easy firing range. One, three, six Lance soldiers departed, the first one coming to a halt when he spotted her and the others forming up behind. Weapons down, pose relaxed. Here as a soldier, but not currently aggressive.

“What the hell are you doing here?” It took Winter a moment to recognise she was the one who had spoken. The conscious part of her mind felt detached, separate, floating away from the situation on a cloud of anxiety, but now that she considered her body, her right hand was clutching the stonework hard enough to scar the dust and her left was shaking an inch from the grip of her pistol. She was angry?

The soldier was less than intimidated, shrugging good-naturedly.

“We’re your protection detail, Ma’am. Lord Ra felt it was improper to leave a commander involved in a combat situation with a subversive force completely unprotected.”

She was speechless for a moment. Ra was the reason she was alone here in the first place!

“Then go. Send him my regards and tell him to go fuck himself.” She didn’t speak like this, normally, but the words were just coming out.

“Can’t do that Ma’am, his orders override yours. Until this truce is concluded, you’re a guest of the Broken Lance.”

It took a moment before she could think, yet alone speak. She wanted to shoot him, to hurt him. The unspoken words were deafening. A full squad of killers in one of the least dangerous parts of the system, delivered via a craft indistinguishable from a missile until the final approach. Her hand was on the grip of the gun, she realised, but they were not the only weapon she was currently pointing. The old, abandoned frame contingent she’d discovered in this part of the wall stirred. They’d ignored her commands at first, but once she’d made Charlemagne aware, he’d jailbroken them and added them to her network. The Lance soldiers were tough, no question, but all it would take is one thought from her and more than a hundred combat frames reacting at the speed of thought could be taking to the firing slits in the wall and blowing these soldiers to pieces.

She wanted to. How dare they, how dare he. They would kill her in an instant if commanded, so why should she react any differently? Why wasn’t she blowing that smug smirk off the captain’s metal face?

Because, the rest of her told her, that’s what they’re here to do. Not to die, but to give you that option. I know where you are, their presence says. This truce is all that’s protecting you from me, says their orders. More than that, as someone enrolled by the city in the operation, her killing the Lance soldiers unprovoked could easily be the spark that broke the truce, and thousands of lives would be at risk because she refused to let him mock her like this. Was she crying? She was, she realised. The soldiers just stood there, watching, confident in the orders and the lord who gave them. They waited because they believed that Ra knew how she would react better than she did, and she hated it.

“Do as you will,” she said, and she didn’t honestly know if they could tell what was behind the words. Beyond the pulse thudding in her ears, the world contracting and expanding around her, she could barely hear the words herself.

The soldiers meandered forward, heading through the door into the wall that they had no reason to avoid. They looked up at her as they did, meeting her eyes. Two looked hollow, just going through the motions. One was human. And the last, as their eyes met down the slope of the wall, lifted her hand, curling the lower fingers in as she pointed the index down her line of sight to where Winter stood. She held it for a moment, Winter’s body not responding, unable to look away.

Then the soldier jerked the hand back, mouthing the word, and Winter recoiled. Her feet went out from under her on the gravel and she came down hard. Her fingers dug in amongst the stones, chest heaving, and some small idle part of her mind wondered if this was going to Blip. It happened most when she was stressed, after all, and it seemed likely she was undergoing a panic attack right now.

But no, it accepted, as her breathing eventually slowed and the pulse became slow and heavy. This, she would remember.

#destiny 2 writing #Warmind AU #Winter-1/2/3

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augurhound-a · 4 years

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"A promising first draft," the Trapper's voice hums appraisingly over a privatized radio signal as he shoots back blueprints for the latest in homegrown abomination procedures, horrifically unethical, but not unnecessarily so. BK-01 would not have approved them otherwise, and 05 was perfectly willing to make revisions from the safety of his winding fortress. "There are the revisions you asked for. Send those samples I asked for with the TA-039 drone I sent, won't you? It will be by shortly..." - @ketzerhund

He calls it [ PROJECT TYPHON ].

As anticipated, TR-05 is the only one who really appreciates the meaning behind the name. Much like his mother, the antiquated warmind still holds a flair for the dramatic and the poetic. He’s not really sure why. 02 isn’t a creature that holds poetry and art in high regard in his normal life--but in the sciences, he views there no greater pursuance than the pursuit of knowledge. Truth, beauty, violence, they are all one and the same.

The radio signal is of his own design. It’s a triple-relayed and proxied 2.8 MHz frequency that broadcasts from an undisclosed location in the depths of Lush Jungle. Very, very, very little escaped 02′s eyes and ears, but even he would find difficulty tuning to this exact signal without aid.

The homegrown Abominations were an accident, but not an unpleasant one. It was merely a good idea layered on top of a better one--after all, if all Abominations merely respond to pheromone signatures and neuroelectric stimulus, why couldn’t you hijack one like you hijacked a person? And if you could hijack one, why couldn’t you make one?

His first few experiments tried to kill him. When he could make one dance to a low-frequency musical signature, 02 knew he was on to something.

Genius however is a shared endeavor. 02 is one set of claws and the others were either unwilling or unable to help. It’s not like he blames them--he wouldn’t subject anyone to these monstrosities he committed against their will and there is some truth to the idea that 02 has a uniquely unusual level of desensitization that makes this line of work suitable for him. TR-05, though, understands the need for monsters to fight monsters, and he never finds judgement when the Trapper is involved.

Very quickly, 02 glimpses the future just enough to make his nose and mouth bleed like he’s been struck violently in the face. He opts not to mention his quick peek to Dust and instead speaks through the fluid pooling in his mouth.

“Revisions 5A and 6A will cause hemmorhage in subjects Q1 through R5, but everything else should be okay,” He doesn’t actually know for the others (he certainly saw the former bleeding and seizing violently on the floor), but seeing for too long might make him pass out on the phone with Dust. “I find it funny that even you adopted my naming schema for the [ INDEPENDENT AUTOMATA PROJECT ].”

The twist was that there was no schema: the initials and the numbers didn’t mean anything. 02 was pretty sure he just slapped his keyboard and then named DL and DR based on randomly picking sequences out of the mess that resulted.

“Once again thank you for your professional help on this. I’ll send you the blueprints for the spinal implant prototype along with it. Building it’s easy. I just can’t. Figure out how to make one hold still long enough to surgically push it in.”

#ketzerhund #◊ ic.#◊ ask.

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ofrevas-a · 7 years

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RECORD 0-CHASM-0

My love. I’ve opened this log as an apology.

As a scientist, I believe in record-keeping. I believe in protocols, peer review, and ethical conduct. I believe in the importance of disbelief — you know: let’s run that one more time.

What I’m doing here in Lhasa isn’t science. It’s unethical, secret, and shameful. And after what happened in Ishtar, dearest Chioma, I know you’d be furious with me for getting involved. Forty years isn’t far enough to forget a day like that.

But I believe it’s important. The least I can do is keep a few notes for you.

RECORD 0-CHASM-01

Trial one. Subject one.

It was an act of stupid loneliness. I used the device on myself because I…

[silence: 0:08]

I missed you. We hadn’t been apart for more than a year since we met. I’m not a very good wife, am I? You write me every week, even with all Hyperion’s work and all Hyperion’s distance keeping you from me. And I act like it’s not enough.

We built the device in mimicry of the Vex gateway systems from Ishtar. An observatory, yes, but I think of it as a mind-ship. Capable of displacing its payload across space and time.

The lab is cold and isolated. We are quarantined from the world, physically and mentally. We can’t send messages out. If we breach the Vex manifolds, even our words might transmit contagion. One night last month I missed you and so I —

I thought that I could look inside the device, and find one of the other Chiomas. I thought I could call out to one of the forks we sent out there to explore.

I just wanted to send my love.

RECORD 0-CHASM-02

Zakharik Gilmanovich Bekhterev. May he rest in peace. When our probes continued to fail, when my report remained our only positive finding, he volunteered to use the device. One minute of subjective experience inside.

We took precautions. They worked. Bekhterev’s experience left no physical damage.

After we extracted him, he said that he felt determined. I asked him what he meant and he said that he meant it, he had been determined, he could feel all his choices set out before him like a railroad. Deviation was impossible.

He died by suicide. I wonder if he was trying to make a point.

RECORD 0-CHASM-03

We’ve decided not to abort. It’s insane, isn’t it? There are pressures on us I can’t tell you about until I see you again.

The purpose of the system is intelligence, you see. It’s stenciled right on the hull: SxISR. Special asset. We would very much like to make it work reliably.

Our supervisory warmind has devised a drug it says will protect and prepare us.

I am beginning to wonder if we were wrong about the merchant and the alchemist. Or if that explanation of time was incomplete.

RECORD 0-CHASM-09

Kind Lakpha. He meditated before he went in. Nothing but déjà vu and three seconds of screams. The screaming passed and he remembers nothing. The déjà vu hasn’t. He says it’s getting better — he feels that we’ve had this conversation only ten times before, not a thousand.

I’ve suggested that we attempt mind forking. We need more sane people to work with. Please forgive me, my love.

We are all growing superstitious. The behavior of the device is inconsistent. Impossible to replicate. We turn to ritual behavior to appease it.

RECORD 0-CHASM-31

Rajesh. When he reached a displacement of eight he told us he was dead. I believed him. He was dead. He spoke to us. It was true. Whatever he saw, it was his own future.

He’s fine, afterwards. When I look into his eyes I wonder what came back wearing his skin. But that thought is unscientific.

We speak of nothing but the device. We talk about it like a demigod. When I get out of here I know the whole world will look like a fraying veil.

I think it’s clear that part of the problem is substrate. We need more than flesh and drug to survive this.

RECORD 0-CHASM-52

I heard you, my love. I was at six, oscillating on the event axis, coordinated with a known manifold. I heard you. You were talking to me — not me, but another me, another Maya Sundaresh.

You said, my love, so many strange things have happened, and it’s been so long. We’ve come so far. Do you ever want to go home?

And I said, not me but the other me, I said, my love, I am always home.

I’m resigning, my love. I’m done with this work and I’m done with being apart from you. I’ll see you again soon. I can’t take this journal out with me, so I’ve left it for the others, and asked them to continue the log.

Maybe it’ll become a tradition. The gospel of our little cult.

Maya Sundaresh, regarding her wife and other members of their research team

#why am i posting this? because i'm happy about it and because it'll be relevant #grimoire tag;#long post ts #suicide cw

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