#the sirens also routinely bully bruce that he can’t adopt jazz | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

britcision · 1 year

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Oh we like cursed Jazz content in this house

So Jazz’s gotten her degree and a nice totally safe internship at Arkham Asylum, as one does

And one day while she’s hanging in the interview room waiting for her next patient, who comes in but former fellow doctor Harleen Quinzel

Is Harley actually back at Arkham or half way through a break in? Doesn’t matter

Maybe Ivy needed a hand with a particularly well protected shady polluter

Maybe she’s breaking Killer Croc out for poker night

Maybe she’s just visiting to punch Joker in the face

What matters is the heat is on and Harley’s gonna be hanging out in this room, and here’s a cute young psychiatrist and Harley can’t resist a punch line

And Jazz Fenton? Jazz knows when she’s being played with, and she’s fought way worse than Harley

Hell, 10 minutes in she’s reminded so strongly of Danny she’s gotta call him after work

And Jazz has done her research, she knows who Harley is, and is very touched by her concern

But then there’s another rogue attack, the prison is in shambles, and it’s time for a change of plan

Harley’s happy to tell Jazz where to find an emergency buzzer and to barricade the door behind her, hoping the newbie will be safe

Cuz that works out in Arkham for sure

Before Harley can dip the door busts in, someone’s looking for a hostage and Harley’s stepping up for some more active protection of her new friend

Right up until they get shot in the face before Harley can connect and fall smoking to the floor

Jazz is no Poison Ivy, but beautiful, dangerous redheads are Harley’s kryptonite and she’s begging for Jazz’s number

Harley looks back at Jazz and her lipstick gun and oh now she’s in love

Jazz gives her the cute smile and says isn’t Harley taken, because Jazz kind of is now but they can be friends

Harley, competitive, will accept the number and demands the lucky fucker’s name cuz they’d better pray they’re good enough for Jazz

…

Three weeks later, Harley’s at the precinct with vital information about someone’s latest great caper

But she’ll only give it up to Jason Todd

(People know he’s alive only because this idea was precisely 12% funnier than Harley trying to hunt down Red Hood in Crime Alley

Harley’s a god tier psychiatrist and has known who the bats are for ages, but like fuck she’s going to Wayne Manor)

There’s been no hint that Harley was really involved and things are getting tense, but this is Harley Fucking Quinn who exists solely in places she’s not meant to be

They can’t risk not going if she might have something

So Jason, cranky about crimes, puts on his best people face and comes down to an unsurveilled (except for Bats) room to ask wtf

Harley stares him dead in the eye

“I’m gonna steal your girlfriend”

Then just drops street addresses, trap locations, and the fucking key to the warehouse crime was in

Bruce: confused but happy it worked and Harley’s still not back into major terrorism

Jason: fucking befuddled

Jazz: loves it

Ivy: fondly resigned

All other bats: never letting Jason live this down

The ongoing Harley/Hood prank war is fucking epic in proportion

Ivy and Jazz hang out whenever they’re busy and oh dear sarcastic peppy psychiatrists are also Ivy’s kryptonite

So the second Jason even vaguely upsets Jazz he is well aware she has two extremely loving lesbian moms just waiting to snatch her away

Call it Gotham Bachelorette

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #dp x dc prompt #and fuck it maddie fenton comes by one day #and ooooooh lawdy the girls know where jazz gets it from #jazz fenton #harley quinn #the sirens also routinely bully bruce that he can’t adopt jazz #cuz a) she’s dating his son #and b) no black hair that makes her theirs #danny also becomes insufferable about this in very short ordee #being the ghost king means you can be as annoying as at least 3 baby bats combined

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