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#the reason saying like ''aw i hope mike doesnt get cold in there i hope he brought smth to stay warm :('' works is because it isn't blatant
joyflameball · 2 months
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What yougotta understand is that when you're interacting with blogs from a fictional universe, such as the English Willy saga, ya DON'T GIVE THE GAME AWAY. Don't just TELL THEM all the plot. Don't tell them exactly what's happening!! Don't tell them the important names!! Send asks and such but actually think through, how would a normal person respond to all this? How would a normal Tumblrina respond? The answer is YOU PROBABLY WOULD NOT FIND FUCKING EVERYTHING OUT IMMEDIATELY. The answer would probably be memes and clowning on things! If you wanna allude to things that will happen in the plot, ALLUDE to them. If you know that someone's gonna burn to death, say you hope the stress doesn't cause them to burn out. Please, my Tumblrinas, learn the art of subtlety in writing. You are not the main character in fictional universe blogs. It's okay.
#cassie rambles#english willy#this post was prompted by me getting annoyed ppl in the comments of the english willy posts were just straight-up giving everything away#PEOPLE. LEARN THE ART OF ''WAITING'' AND ''SUBTLETY'' AND ''YOU'RE NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE''#like just straight up saying ''yeah that probably means elizabeth! that's probably a murderer's corpse in there!''#girl these reveals take TIME#the reason the "lisbef'' thing and the ice cream thing work is because we know the plot to fnaf! we know what he's talking about!#we don't need it to be said explicitly! that's what show dont tell is!#and it sucks the wind out of the sails if you just say ''oh yeah that's a reference to elizabeth afton''#it's like if the op brought up fires and someone immediately said ''oh fazbear frights is gonna burn down btw''#like NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT GOOD WRITING IS. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO REFERENCES TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.#the reason saying like ''aw i hope mike doesnt get cold in there i hope he brought smth to stay warm :('' works is because it isn't blatant#i mean if you know hte plot to fnaf 3 it is but if you don't it doesn't break immersion by just telling us the plot#all of this is said lightheartedly#anyway.#LIKE NO YOU IDIOTS!!!! DON'T JUST BRING OUT CIRCUS BABY BLATANTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU'RE TRYING TO RUSH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET IT BUILD UP AND THE PAYOFF WILL BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#STOP TRYING TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A SIDE HARACTER HERE ADN THAT IS OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thehalfworld · 7 years
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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 4]
I’m on a roll.
There’s more rape in this one; it’s not really described in detail, though. There are also references to what occurred in the last chapter, and an instance of mostly consensual sexual activity (although it stops short of actual sex).
Recap: Last chapter, Tiaa’s foster parents Dave and Marie left on a trip, leaving her in the care of “Uncle Larry” (Dave’s brother), who promptly began beating and raping Tiaa. After one such incident, she ran off into the woods and encountered a strange man who claimed to be her father before blacking out.
Chapter 1
Previous chapter
AN = No flames pls, theres no point!if u dnt like my story dnt read it, its as simple as that!
I never got the whole “don’t like, don’t read” thing. How can you know if you like it if you haven’t read it?
btw atlantiana is NOT marisue be cause look she is NOT perfect and not everyone in the stiry likes her! she has problems and she has flaws and shes UNHAPPY would u like her life?i no i wouldnt, its totally tragic and horible.u flamers arent even makin sense1
Having bad things happen to your character doesn’t make her less of a Mary Sue. Loads of Sues have tragic backstories. Look at Batman.
Chapter 4 - la push
I sat quitely on the la push beech apart form the party that was going on beside me. Mike Nooton was following me round like a pulpy and he was so borin! None of the things he had to say were interesting but I was nice to him because he wasnt a bad guy.
That’s actually pretty in-character for the guy, if I remember the Twilight Saga correctly. He’s nice, but not very interesting. I think Bella even made the puppy comparison at one point.
My thoughts were elsewhere - i could'nt stop thinking about the events of last night, when uncle larry had raped me and I had had my scary vision in the forest and a tall p[ale guy in my mind had cale me his daughter. I didnt understand any of I felt so so awful that I had been rapped by that hideous pervy SICKO when I had bin saving myself for the right guy and for marriage and my virginity was torn from my grasp by that twisted guy, it was so crule and unfair, it made me want to cry
So uh… what happened after she blacked out in the woods? Was her dad gone when she woke up? Did Uncle Larry do anything else to her after she returned home? Did she return home?
"omg MIKE watt are you doing talkin to HER?" I turned round and saw four nasty faces learing at us. It was the chearleaders I had seen in the cafetearia, and one of them was the girl dateing Ewdard Cullen, the brown hare girl who was standing at the back looking moody but not saying anything
You know her name! You’ve called her by name before!
"Stop being mean Jessica" mike said angerly "tiaas' awesome and if you can't see that its just you bein blind and shallow and stupid like your all ways are"
Think this is the author calling out her flamers or what?
"yah I mean look at her clothes, she looks like a stupid goth biaach with her slutty top and short skirt and fithnet tights is she a RAT HOOKER or what?" Jessica screamed.
Man, I love this fic. “RAT HOOKER” is a great insult.
She was realy ugly when she shouted even though she was technology a hot chick and was dressed in skimpy pink clothes.
I don’t remember Jessica that well from the books, but I think she was described as short and a chatterbox. I don't think she was a cheerleader or had a particular fondness for pink. Also she was dating Mike at one point after Bella set them up with each other.
"you no what Jess, you and YOur frends are SO shallow and YOU are the real slut! you and bella and angela and laruen may were short skirts and low cut tops an stuff but that doesnt maek u beautiful! Its watt underneath that counts!" mike shouted
Wait, so are they sluts because they wear revealing clothes or because of their behavior? Because right here it seems like Mike is criticizing them based on how they dress, which is a bit weird when we remember Tiaa also wears revealing clothing (“fishnet top” ring a bell?).
"yah, speakin of witch" said a sly blond girl in the gang who was called lauren, pointing at me "watts with her breasts, they are huge, I bet they are fake!- she laughed and her friends all laughed too even bella and angela who had been quiet until then.
I don’t remember a damn thing about Lauren or Angela but I remember they both existed. One of them was definitely shy but I don’t remember which.
I got up and pushed past them and ran away into the darkness. I cold hear them all laughing at me and i felt so embarrased I was relay sensitive about the waste I looked I hated the fact that it made all girls hate me and all guys stare at me, I would have given anything to be ugly or just inviable. I wasnt stuck up and didnt think I was beta than anyone else because of how I looked I just wanted people to treat me like a normal person! I could'nt help being slim and blond with relay big boobs it wasnt my fault I hadnt done anything wrong!
Remember in chapter 1 when Tiaa talked about how she used to be self-conscious about her appearance but got over it and now doesn’t care what people say about her?
-are u ok?" said someone from beside me
If you don’t have that MCR song playing in your head right now I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
"who arr you?" i asked. 3 realy pretty goth girls were standing there smilin at me and I smiled back
Oh, of course, the Sue’s backup choir.
-we are tyffani, abigaille and rochelle" they said smiling "you seem cool, do you want to be our freinds?"
I like the idea that Tiaa could be multiple friends.
Judging from the names, these three are children of that white mom whose baby name photo went viral on the internet. The one who named her kid Lakynn or something.
"ya of course, i'm just a bit meloncolly cause those horrible chearleaders were bein mean jerks and saying my boobs were fake" i said
"omg, u mean jessica and bellas gang? They hate us too because we dont care what they think" said tyfanni "they are just jealous cause youre the prettiest girl in the school now and theyre all plain next to you but we dont care about stuff like that, we only care about peoples personalities “
“That’s why we made sure to talk about how pretty we think you are.”
"cool" I said, and we talked for hours
I talked to tyfanni, rochelle and abigail for hours and they were so cool.
How long was that again?
I'd never had proper freinds before who didnt care watt i looked like or where I came from they just liked me for me, and I liked them cause they were uber cool and we had loads of stuff in common! But after a while they all went home and I stayed on the beech.
Glad we skipped the scene where Tiaa has fun with her friends so that we can get back to the part where Uncle Larry assaults her again. Nice to see the author prioritizing.
It was getting late but I didnt want to go home to uncle larry in case he raped me on his car again.
Phrasing seems to imply that if he raped her in a different location it would be alright.
Soddenly I heard a voice from behind me.
I hope “soddenly” is an intentional double entendre.
"well tiaa, thou seem to be causing quite a stir at school" his voice was smooth and sexoy and from another time.
Who could this be?
Edward.
Never would have guessed!
"what do you mean!" I demanded
"basically every gay at school wants to have sex with thee, and every girl wants to eat thee alive for it, hows that for causing a stir my lady?" he smiled and kissed my neck.
Wait, every gay at school? Including the gay boys? This girl is powerful.
"shut up jerk! Btw I met youre girlfriend before, bella I think her name is! I dont like her or anything, but how the hell can u cheat on her like that and kiss me how u did? Its sick ur a cheatin bastard and i should tell everyone. Tyfanni told me you and bella are like the schools golden couple or something, watt would happen if I told ppl how you had acted in that corridoor with me?"
Uh… the fic would go in a direction I don’t expect it to and it might be redeemed somewhat by at least being less predictable?
"OMG SWEET LADY! THY MUST NOT TELL ANYONE! " he screamed "it was a moment of madness thats all! Im so so sorry for watt happened,i hope thine can forgive me, but ive promised myself to bella and thats just how it is, no matter how much thou intrests me"
Use of OMG may seem anachronistic, but that abbreviation has actually been in use since the early 1900s, so it’s totally reasonable that Edward might use it. Although probably not out loud.
"fine, then stay away from me " I shouted as I left to go home but he followed me and grabbed me and pushed me down on the grind.
I think he’s sending mixed signals.
I was burning with anger and fury but I wanted him so deafly i didnt even try to resist him.
So deafly?
He new how much i wanted him and it drove me mad. He put his hands inside my panties and i gasped. I was soddenly desperate to sex with him and i tore my clothes off and i was in my underwear.
Again, I hope that’s innuendo, but in this fic it’s actually possible the author thinks “suddenly” is spelled like that.
I took off my bra and showed him my naked heaving beasts.
Nothing turns a guy on like naked heaving beasts!
"have sex with me now edward " I whispered
" i cant " he said, although his body was on top of mine and his fingers touched my nipples
"please, i'm begging you" I said, hating myself for being such a dirty hore but unable to control my burning desire
No one in this fic has any self-control whatsoever, huh?
-NOOOO!" he shouted and ran away crying.
I put my clothes back on slowly feeling so ashamed and embarased i could hardly move. I could'nt beleive i had begged him to do sex on me and even worse he had said no!
Okay, I guess Edward has a tiny bit of self-control. Which is good, as he is a vampire and would probably be eating people left and right if he was totally unable to control himself.
I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night and i didnt even complain cos i felt like i deserved it for being such a horrible slut even though it made me want to die inside.
Bread, eggs, milk, squick. Uncle Larry seems more interested in hitting Tiaa than raping her, incidentally.
Uncle larry finally left me alone and I thought about killing myself as i cryed and cryed as i fell slowly into a dreamless sleep.
Aw.
Next chapter
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