⇝KY'S BIRTHDAY EXCHANGE -- Parker Sisters³

my sister has died -- is dead, yet alive

@elmunson happy birthday lovely!! the parker sisters have such a cool storyline that i had to make a gifset for them, hope you like this!! <33

coloring

❛  i know you probably won't believe me, but i truly am sorry.  ❜ (Colette :3c for after the Tower)

FORGIVENESS. / @zelotae

"I do."

Her words stepped over his, clumsy but intentional. She had scarcely remembered how their confrontation of Mithos had unraveled, her consciousness floating under the surface of Martel's own, as if she were listening to them underwater.

But she did remember following him. She had trusted him - they all had trusted him, even at the ends of his strange behaviors and slippery words. He had always been - ... off.

So had she. They all had their burdens, carrying weight in their quiet evenings and closed Inn rooms, and she had struggled to grapple with his as much as she had anyone else's. The Chosen could scarcely hold all of her own doubt and loathing between her palms without it causing pinpricks of pain. She was trying to press all of the thorns of existence against her chest, desperate to keep them all to herself, as if a prayer could eliminate the sharpness of her emotions.

No prayer would remove her of what she deserved, she thought. It shouldn't. It weighed as it should, as heavy as her love and fondness was light.

( Had he done this because she hadn't done enough? Had he turned and sought alliance elsewhere because of what she hadn't done? )

"-- I'm sorry," she sputtered. Her words were wet, bubbling forth as she drew in a gasping breath. "That - that you had - that you had to do that. It must have been hard on you," she struggled. "I'm - I'm so sorry."

Even at the end, at the very end, in a vessel curated for the Goddess herself, she felt desperately inadequate. The fact that he had gone so far as to risk himself - ... the world had asked it of both of them, yes, but she had never asked him.

Maybe he knew she wouldn't have.

Colette reached out. He stood several inches her superior, even after the months of their travel and the embarrassing way she had grown in bits and pieces, her pants barely reaching her ankles and her shirt sleeves exposing her wrists. She wrapped an arm around his chest, the other coming to snake around his shoulders, careful not to snag his hair even as she trembled.

Thank you for doing what you had to. Thank you for surviving despite it all. Thank you for being here - at the beginning, at the end.

"I do," she said, her grasp on him tightening, desperate and relieved all at once. "I'm sorry. I'm - ... I forgive you. Always."

the best and worst part about life is that there's a million different ways it didn't turn out like this, but everything in our lives lined up to get us here

This week's journal page! Ready for Valentine's 💙

4, 5, and 10 for the writing ask game!

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

✧ hmm ! i actually just really like the word feral itself LOL it's so, idk, wild and i love it when it's used in almost every sense, because i think it portrays a certain type of emotion in a certain type of moment very well. but, for the sake of not making this easy for myself, i think maybe tender, because it seems so gentle and vulnerable and soft.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

✧ i have to be in the right physical setting to write, and it is not always at my desktop. i really enjoy the keyboard on my desk because it types so fluid and nice and is so clacky — but recently, it's been tripping me out to sit there. i just can't get anything done while sitting there ! so i've been on my chromebook a lot, just moving around my apartment LOL and i cannot write without sound of some kind, it's just not possible. most importantly, i think if you try to hinder yourself to one specific WIP, you will make yourself miserable and therefore not able to write it. i've talked about this before, but in the past i used to try and put a hold on myself and not allow myself to write anything outside of what i was "supposed" to be writing, and my motivation to get through it was meant to be the desire to work on something else — but it just never worked. i think if you block your creativity out like that, you're doing more damage than good. idk if those count as superstitions, but !!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

✧ oh god, absolutely. it means that it is always at the back of my mind and i am unable to escape it LOL i am thinking about it almost always, how it made me feel in the moment to read it, how much it inspired me and how deep it dug into the pit of my heart. i'll list fanfic's that have done this for me, simply because this is my fandom space ! warning that these will most likely include spoilers for fics listed !!

✧ “I’m in love with you,” You say, and you can hear it distantly, like someone else is speaking it. [ surrender, by ofmermaids; chapter 8: surrender ]

✧ “Just gimme one thing,” he asks, and it’s so quiet you’re sure your heart’s thumping is louder. “When… Is it soon?” [ on my way (to you), by ofmermaids ]

✧ I couldn’t—they won’t let me come find you. I can’t—I don’t know how to—god fucking damn it. You’re… fuck, I’m not saying this right. If you’re hurt, I’m gonna be pissed. I already bought the wagyu on the way to work and I don’t want it to go bad, so you’d better be in fucking pristine condition when I find you. Just—call me back if you get this. Please. [ i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife, by kirketeer; chapter 8 ]

✧ “I can make us dinner at home. I don’t give a shit about paying for parking. I can… damn. I’ll do fuckin’ anything.” He exhales, shaky, and his lips ghost against yours, like he wants to kiss you again but he’s holding himself back by the last tattered strands of his self-control. “Just want you to myself.” [ in the dark of morning, you promise me the sun, by kirketeer; chapter 6: winter pt ii ]

✧ Dabi’s usually a lot less evasive about his answers than you are. I’ve lost count. I never loved any of them. Only you. [ higher than the mountain, deeper than the sea, by phen0l; chapter 3, section 24 ]

✧ as far as my own writing, hmm. i can only think of one, really:

✧ Sometimes Enji kissed his mother. Sometimes she looked like she liked it. Back then, he thought maybe you would, too. He didn't know he had blood on his bottom lip until he got home and Enji asked him about it, until Rei inspected it like he'd bit it by accident. But he couldn't tell them, didn't tell them that all of it, every moment with you, had been on purpose. [ if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?; chapter 1: if he's as bad as they say, then i guess i'm cursed; looking into his eyes, i think he's already hurt. ]

My fave moment from that fandom tho was when another mutual drew oc x canon fanart based on a moment from one of my fics 🥺

tried something new today and i love how it came out! never done any sort of designs like this but it was super fun and honestly relaxing.

quote from the illustrious @whump-tr0pes ‘s “honor bound” series! as someone who tends to feel like a totally worthless human if i’m not constantly contributing to something, this quote just feels like a warm hug. felt necessary to bring it to life! <3

Not sure if you’re including my Antoinette ask re. book context but I just meant to say in the book I heard they’re only turned when Lestat is desperate and alone. And what the context was in the episode? And whether you think show Lestat’s feelings for her are supposed to run deeper. Clearly not as in he wants her to take Louis place (HA) but he wants his cake and eat it to (irritating lol). I initially thought his affair with her was a direct result of his feeling insecure in his relationship with Louis and neglected (or at least he felt vulnerable since he thinks he loves him ‘more’ than Louis loves him) but now in light of this most recent episode are we supposed to think he actually cares about her and refuses to let her go? Just interested where other people stand on this cause I’m confused why he’s stuck on his “no ass white girl” 😭😂

hey! yeah i'm not 100% sure on book context because it's been too long but from what i've seen others say he's just desperate for attention and affection and wanted to make louis jealous and that's why he turns antoine, which i fully believe of the show too lol. like there's no way he actually has feelings for her, even louis says it in the episode. i think he wanted to keep her around so he could keep having somewhere to run when he wanted attention and would hopefully Actually kill her if louis confronted him about it but he's also a stupid fucking clown so who knows 🤡 and he doesn't like being told what to do but like. fucking listen for once in your life please you brat <3

love starting something to help with my confidence and now three months in, my worst fears have been confirmed and also ive been told meaner things than even i have said to myself

"So honestly, just please keep existing. We absolutely need you here. This is going to go away, someday. I know I might sound crazier than the conspiracy theorists for wanting to believe that... Until then, please just keep being here in this world so that we can see you and see how utterly unfounded all this is. I don't care what the people in this article said or what people are saying to you in your personal life. I need you here, everyone else who's transgender needs you here. And if you being here really does signal the end of society then I say, let society crumble. I would rather have you."

HEARTSTOPPERRRRRAHHHHHHH

So my husband made me cry in the best way possible. So, I have a pudgy belly and I have always hated it. I do my best to hide it with baggy shirts, dresses etc

This last week depression hit me hard and I haven't done too much laundry and all I had left to wear for work was a white shirt and leggings which were pretty form fitting, if that makes sense. I was standing in front of the mirror, almost panicking about my figure and how the clothes looked on me and my husband comes in, places his hands on my pudgy belly, kisses my neck and says, "God, you're fucking beautiful."

First I declined the compliment, pointing out my body's flaws. And my husband proceeds to tell me everything he loved about my body for the next 15 minutes.

And no one has ever done that to me. Not my parents, relatives, siblings, past exs - no one. For the first time in so long (not counting my wedding day ehehe) I have never felt more beautiful and loved. So fucking loved.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, I just really needed to tell someone. Y'all, find someone who will make you feel loved and beautiful. That's my Ted Talk xx

I’m almost done reading irl!Tata’s book while rewatching Narcos (although i'm currently stuck on season 2 due to lack of time 😩) and it has been such a cool experience, because it only confirmed what I thought back when I read Juan Pablo’s book yearss ago. Some mistakes were made, yes. Pablo’s flaws (including his out of control sex addiction imo lol) were minimized, as well as some little details about his life, but they absolutely nailed the essence, the core of the relationship between Pablo and Tata and what was it built upon: love and loyalty, even if he was, as she says in her pov, “an irredeemable cheater” and it was their only problem, there is no doubt his heart was hers. He truly loved her, was obsessed with her from the day he meet her to the day he died. And the writers understood that so well, it’s incredible because they didn’t had Tata’s account back when the show was made, so I imagine they went through other material, maybe the extensive archive the calí cartel had of Pablo and his phonecalls, including the ones with Tata, and then they went with their gut and creativity, and it was correct, that’s 10/10 writing. It just makes me appreciate, love this show even more, if possible.

my dash simulator

Mutual 1: i need to KILL myself

Mutual 2: [5 pictures of two guys standing in the general vicinity of eachother] I just KNOW they had insane and unsafe sex after this..

Mutual 3: i need to KILL myself

Bomb Mutual: this is the bomb of some guy and how he made it

Mutual 4: im literally so drunk and stoned in this guys shed thinking about patrick star like LMAO what was up wt that guy

Mutual 5: [reblogs life changing picture] [reblogs life changing quote] Anyway do you guys ever eat 50 mcdonalds hamburgers and then cry in your car or is that just me lol

Mutual 6: [cat tiktok]