decided to drag myself out of some serious art block by drawing one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite fics: The Borg Have Never Looked So Good In Sciences Blue by @wickedheadache

though i will admit i took some liberties

MY FRIENDS AND I ARE CHAOS INCARNATE AND THIS HAS BEEN RATTLING AROUND MY BRAIN FOR WEEKS

So my friends and are all chaotic and nerdy, and a couple of us are huge trekkies (much to our other friend and my roommate's irritation) and this happened the other day

In Voyager the vaguely hinted at EMH and Seven being a thing for a minute there. I personally headcanon Seven as aro/ace but that's not the point of this we were talking about how neither of us like C/7 and if we had to ship Seven with anybody it would be the Doctor. Which led to Seven wanting even more humanity and through a couple of different options decides that a child is the way to do that we said by talking to Samantha Wildman that she decides this and then comes to the conclusion that the Doctor would be the ideal candidate to be the father/her co-parent. And she just tells him this while they're eating one day just "I want a child, and I have determined you to be the idea partner in this endeavor" and the Doctor just spews holographic food across the table "WHAT" and after some convincing he gets on board.

Now before you come for me with the EMH is a hologram he doesn't have DNA he can't be the father we figured this out too. Ideally this extra season we added takes place after Janeway and Seven stop butting heads as much and start getting along but before Icheb. So we have a couple of situations:

a) The Doctor has already gone and helped cure Zimmerman and thus has access to his DNA profile

b) The human genome has been completely sequenced as of May of this year (2021) so going off this ZImmerman's DNA is on file with Starfleet and they can get it

c) Seven takes a basic human genome and plays with it in the holodeck to create a version that looks just like Zimmerman/the Doctor

We prefer some combination of a and c or b and c because it sets up for what comes next. While Seven is working on the genome she's spending a lot of time in the holodeck and eventually has to ask Chakotay for more/Chakotay gets curious about it. Assuming she asks for more and gets turned down she just takes more time and Chakotay comes to figure out what she's doing/chastise her for stealing time and sees Seven standing there with a model of the Doctor and the human genome stretched across the room and just walks out. A few weeks later he decides he definitely has to ask about it and finds Seven in her alcove. Now during this time Seven has been modifying a replicator to create a zygote or the doctor's DNA or whatever she needs and modifying an alcove to grow a baby. Please remember the Doctor is in on this and thus can help with any medicine. So Chakotay walks in and sees Seven messing with the modified alcove and a fetus growing in it and promptly passes out. Seven sees this and takes him to the med bay and when he wakes up he's very confused and then realises what he saw and hits the com and goes "CAPTAIN JANEWAY TO THE MED BAY KATHRYN NOW SEVEN HAS DONE SOMETHING KATHRYN!!"

And Janeway comes running in to discover a very distraught Chakotay rambling about Seven and a baby and just becomes very confused and concerned for him. Until Seven walks in with a toddler on her hip because after extensive conversation"s she and the doctor decided that an infant would not be the best way to go about this. And Chakotay just points and goes "SEVEN BABY" a la Rachel at the beginning of season 2 of Friends. Janeway sees this and goes "Seven WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?" "The Doctor and I procreated this is our child" "WHA-? HOW? Don't MOve!" And then she walks out hitting her com going "NELIX I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME ALIEN WHISKEY SOMEWHERE I NEED IT AND COFFEE" she comes back with a cup of coffee that's mostly whiskey and goes "EXPLAIN!"

So Seven explains which is punctuated with several long sighs from Janeway and long swigs of her coffee. then at the end of this story Janeway sighs and chugs all that's left of her coffee and goes "Seven you can't just create a child without telling me first" "If any other crewmen chose to procreate would they need permission?" "No" "Then why do we?" "BECAUSE YOU STOLE GENETIC INFORMATION!!" But by then its too late the child exists and they fix up quarters for Seven and the child and the doctor. and then when they get in contact with Starfleet Janeway has to explain all of this. And then there's a whole legal battle about who the father is the doctor or Zimmerman and holographic rights and then Data gets wind of it and it leads to android rights arguments.

but my favorite image may be Dr. McCoy hearing about it and instantly calling up Spock and going "Did you have anything to do with this you green blooded menace??" because he blames Spock for anything he deems horribly unnatural.

and how odd that child would be the logic from seven the doctor provides culture and some humanness but he's still very logical and the only parental advice they would have is from Tuvok. I firmly believe that this child would be parented by Seven and the Doctor but also by the entirety of the Voyager crew. Nelix would have no idea what to do with them. Naomi would want to play and be faced with logic. So yeah thats what's be living in my head rent free.

Voyager and Romance

So, the thing about Voyager and romance that sticks with me is they seem to do one couple really, or more accurately two characters, any real justice overall. And that is B’Elanna and Tom. While moments for that relationship may not be perfect that is rather realistic for relationships, as no relationship is perfect all the time so that is tolerable. This post though isn’t going to be about looking at that particular relationship though but primarily at other relationships. Largely because a discord server I am in was talking about Counterpoint and I realized why I both love the episode but also have weird feelings with it. Which, I’ll touch more on that specifically after I discuss the relationship stuff (as that plays a part).

So, I will preface this with it has been a bit since I’ve done a binge of Voyager and really a full binge of Star Trek in general. As such, I may forget a few relationships on the show and overall, throughout Trek in general. From what I can really toss together … I honestly am beginning to believe that when it comes to Voyager and the other shows (the older ones not the new ones – I am not including any NEW Trek in this) that for some reason the relationship writing with Voyager was rather different. Like, they gave 3 characters active relationships prior to being stranded. That being Harry Kim, Kathryn Janeway, and Tuvok. Out of these three we get Janeway and Tuvok holding onto those relationships in their own way while … it seemed mildly convenient for Harry to mention it when it suited him, I guess (like that time Tom wanted to set them up for a double date or you know when he ended up in that alternate timeline but still wanted back with Voyager even more like). Like, the reason I don’t list Tuvok-T’Pel above is because we don’t actually get to SEE that in full, we just get to see Tuvok’s side of it and his dedication – we don’t see the relationship, we don’t see the couple.

Harry and Tom, prior to his relationship with B’Elanna, seem to frequently do this sort of two bros dating around thing which is fine but like … same time the show used them for that. And once they settled Tom with B’Elanna they used Harry in those plot lines when it worked. Thus the alien STD episode and the “how dare you not get the standard permission from your CO and CMO” line (like they really put that into a Trek ep and I’m still unable to not picture Riker, Kirk, Picard, and everyone other Trek character constantly getting permission for their latest romance – just remember Jadzia and Worf likely had to get permission from Sisko and Bashir if the Trill and Klingon weren’t already approved of in the system just saying, that’s a thing that happened). Anyways … my point is they went out of their way on this. Like, when Kes was with Neelix they wrote Neelix to be that jealous judgmental boyfriend who literally got upset she knew where other people’s quarters where, she was nice to Tom, she was … just yeah. They wrote Tom to come off as a player pulling Harry into it, when Tom settled down Harry seems to pick that up (I mean you got his “omg Seven” phase and the alien STD stuff and lord knows what else I’m forgetting with him).

And to top this off I haven’t even touched on the “Janeway can’t have a romance” stuff yet. Which is where my real problem is. Like, its bad enough they brought in Jeri for the sex appeal (which lets be honest stems from the fact they couldn’t use Janeway for that – which I get, Kate was right in the whole concept of the audience target having to keep respect for a female lead and sex appeal couldn’t be a focal point but they could have balanced it right and regrettably because they couldn’t that meant Jeri got all of the other side of the coin). Many of Seven’s eps center on romance or social stuff and honestly that is a whole other WTF post in its own right because it all leads up to the sudden get with the one person on the ship who didn’t want you here in the first place and who also would have served better as the male adult guidance figure/father figure than as a ROMANTIC partner but hey BS happened behind scenes to cause that chaotic romantic on screen set up. But yeah … this is just another example of the poor Voyager romantic plot lines.

Chakotay’s romantic plot lines are usually – and by that, I mean pretty much always – with these strong independent women. But usually, at least from what I recall, they are also typically the “needs help” (damsel in distress/can’t do it alone/etc.) plot. Like, Riley was strong independent but also set up to need help in regard to getting her little collective put back together on the planet. You got Kellin, again another strong lady who yet again also needed help. At least in the ep she’s in and if I recall much of the info on how they fell in love during that time as well – primarily with getting away from danger at the start and then during the initial romance finding her target. Valerie is the only one who doesn’t fall into the needs help plot and that’s largely because she was being manipulated by Chakotay for information – which honestly just goes to show how well Chakotay was at the whole undercover stuff (which tells us a lot about what he could have been doing as a Maquis). Seska was the plot point of “you once dated her, now she is going to badger you to get with her again and when that fails, she’s going to assault you” …. like all of Chakotay’s romances are literally him either 1) being manipulated (as that’s what Seska and Riley did) or 2) being the kind guy or 3) not an actual relationship (either because its undercover work or because the writers were too cowardly to make him and Janeway canon).

Then you got Janeway. Then you got KATHRYN JANEWAY. You know, the one where Kate Mulgrew said no romance, no sexualizing, no doing that sort of stuff because the audience had to maintain respect for the character. I’m sure someone has the exact various quotes out there. Like … this is why we don’t have JC as canon. But what we do got instead is …. Janeway in Prime Factors being flirted with by the administrator as if that’s going to get him what he wants because “female leader means flirt with her”. We got Janeway and a period drama holodeck adventure in the early years which was clearly meant to be her romantic tête-à-tête early on that never got followed up with. We got “delete the wife” with the Fair Haven plot point (because its totally respectable to see the FEMALE LEAD, the STARFLEET CAPTAIN, just straight up DELETE THE WIFE of another individual - yeah, I get its meant to be humor factor because hologram but come on). You have her whole thing with Mark which we get tidbits off but again similar to Tuvok we literally only get to see her side of it – the only couple moment of theirs we get is the comm call in Caretaker.

But Jaffen? You are correct. We got that lovely and touching and wonderful romance with Jaffen …. Oh wait … they had to remove her from the ship, strip her of her memory, and her autonomy in order for her to have a relationship with another individual. And yes, by losing her memories, by losing what made her who she was as a person, she did lose a sense of autonomy. She entered into a relationship without a full sense of independent choice. The point in which she made a choice in that episode, the point in which she – Kathryn Janeway – made a choice with all of the person, the individual she is, was at the end when she had her memories back and could decide based on the values and beliefs and all that she is. What I’m getting at is the people on that planet deliberately took away who she was, they took her memories and her ability to make the decisions they knew she would make --- they did that deliberately (that’s even established in the episode) --- and as such her decisions while in that state are not truly her full independent decisions but the ones impacted by the state she was forced into.

And while I love Resolutions, while I love all the JC goodies, we get in that ep … Yet again the only time we get to see Janeway in any sort of romantic situation is when they remove her from the ship. When they remove her from command. When they strip her of that setting. This time, though – well the first time – she keeps awareness and has to go through lose of it all in order to even start to let it all happen. I love the episode, I do, but I just find it rather amusing they went “’Hey we gotta strand them what should their tasks be on the planet?” and they immediately went “Well Janeway is scientist how about that” “Okay and he can build, Chakotay can start building. Man builds house, right?” and then like went “oh and then she can start a garden” …. Like really? Really? That’s what you got for me. Oh, and then there is the monkey. That’s the romance this ep. Boat, science, monkey.

Then we got Kashyk. We have dealt with Kathryn throughout this series dealing with various leaders of various styles. As mentioned, Prime Factors guy attempted flirting. Other leaders pulled similar or worse or even dismissed her …. Like the list goes on. Counterpoint is a great episode because it deals with prejudice and is rather dark. The thing is, had Janeway been able to have a healthy romantic relationship on screen to counter this episode this episode probably would have come off better. Episodes like Prime Factor could have been done different (that leader didn’t need to be as flirty for example). One or two eps through the series having creepy dudes she had to deal with, fine, whatever … that be a nice impact for the audience. But when you have to many prior to Counterpoint – even if its minor, small stuff – it makes this episode so much harder for fans. Especially the female fans who deal with this constantly.

See, here’s the thing with this ep…. Some of the fans who watch … we know Kashyk well. We know that character. He is that male leader, that male power figure, who uses the power he has to manipulate those in his control to get what he wants. And Kathryn … Kathryn was in his control. Kashyk is listed as a relationship on memory-alpha. But much like how I view Seska with Chakotay … I do not view Kashyk as a proper relationship. In Devore space, Kathryn did not have proper power. She had people in her command, on her ship, that she had to protect. That she knew she had to protect. Her own best friend … lives in her hand … and Kashyk right there willing to kill them. Willing to snatch them up and destroy them. And he used that power to manipulate her and play her. Yes, she played him right back but … did she truly have a choice? Did she have any other choice but to play his game? What would have happened if she said no? And that … that is why this episode is so unsettling for some people. And why this relationship being considered on is so off putting … that the writers, that memory-alpha, that the fact I’m putting it on this list as one of the ones on here for Voyager says so much … they wrote this as one of her relationships while out there … she had to do what so many women had to do to stay safe, to keep people she loves safe, and that’s not a relationship.

Voyager could have done romance/relationships such better justice.

C7 happening in endgame out of nowhere :/

Okay, yikes. I knew this day might come, and I’m going to do my best.

For anyone reading this without context, please know the point of this ask series is to try to help people feel better about things in Voyager that bother them. Ideas expressed as part of that effort may not reflect my actual views. This is an attempt to help everyone love the show even more, per my blanket offer to try to improve the Voyager experience for anyone who asks. If you don’t want to read this, please go ahead and scroll onward….

Still here?

All right.

C/7.

We’re going to focus on Scorpion II, Day of Honor, Shattered, Human Error, One Small Step, Natural Law, and, of course, Endgame. Every inch of this is canon-compliant, though it also takes into account J/C fanon that Chakotay was waiting for and hoping for a relationship with Janeway.

Here we go….

You’re Chakotay.

You remember the cold metal of a neurotranceiver embedded in your spine.

You’re terrified, skin clammy and heart pounding, but no one else can do this, no one else can save the ship and crew. So you allow the transceiver on your neck, allow your mind to be joined with a Borg drone, a member of the species that scares the hell out of you, the species you warned Kathryn about and your predictions came true.

You’re in the drone’s mind.

It’s not algorithms or cold efficiency.

It’s the joy of running as a little girl. It’s a mother and father and the father swings you up off the ground into his arms. It’s innocence and childlike wonder and love.

You try to help the drone remember.

She refuses. What good would it have done her to embrace her human side in the Collective? If she’s not Borg, she’s nothing.

But she’s not nothing. She’s someone under all that technology and you sense the name no one has spoken to her for so long and you call out to her — Annika! — and shared pain is like a knife in your neck just before everything goes black.

When you regain consciousness, her biobed is next to yours in sickbay. The Doctor says her human cells are starting to regenerate.

Embarrassment warms your cheeks. You were in her mind, you know who she is at her core — a person she may not even want to remember.

But she begins to stutter-step toward individuality.

She asks you for a duty assignment.

You immediately grant her request.

Your best friend, your ride or die, tells you you’re naive and she won’t allow Seven to work in Engineering. You trust B’Elanna with your life, but you know what you saw in Seven’s mind and you pull rank, give your best friend an order, because you trust Seven, too — and you know you’re not being naive.

You see Seven volunteer to sacrifice herself, offer her expertise to save the crew, begin to form working relationships and friendships.

She’s beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed — definitely your type.

But you enjoy sitting next to Kathryn on the bridge, weekly dinners in Kathryn’s quarters, chats in the ready room. Your life is good.

Then you’re in the past and a version of Kathryn looks at you in a way you’ve not allowed yourself to think about in years.

She wants you.

When did that stop? Why did that stop? Was it time that set the lines that you two never crossed? Was it Noah Lessing? Was it the space beast that showed you some part of Kathryn still hopes for a possibility with her former fiancé if the ship ever gets home?

What if you don’t ever get home?

The adult version of Naomi said you died.

My God.

What the hell are you doing with your life?

You don’t ask, but discretion isn’t the Doctor’s strong suit and you learn about Seven’s holo-program. You won’t violate her privacy by running it, but you check the character profiles and put two and two together.

She’s lonely.

You’re lonely.

Your mind wanders.

She downloaded the Ares Four database for you.

She offered you the blanket from the Ventu.

She listens to you, and you’ve certainly had to be careful over the years to keep your eyes from roaming her body.

What was it you said to her when you two discussed childhood dreams in the Delta Flyer?

Maybe it's not too late.

Well, maybe it’s not. Maybe she wants more than a holographic life, maybe she wants to build a real life — with you.

Chest tight with nerves and hope, you ask her out.

She says yes.

There are dates. Conversation and silly jokes and you know your goofy grin is reflected in her own because this giddy feeling of beginnings puts the very best kind of butterflies in your stomach. Except it’s not really the beginning, it’s the middle — the time between friendship and something more — and you can’t stop looking at her, can’t stop thinking of when you’ll see her again, can’t stop your excitement over living, really living, out here. She kisses you, her fingers clutching the nape of your neck, your hand grasping her rear end, and then you kiss each other and there’s an echo of the mental link from all those years ago and this, this is love.

And it was worth waiting for.

.

.

.

I hope this helps you feel better, @unknownwhalesworld. 💕

If anyone has something about Voyager they would like to feel better about (in-universe, not behind the scenes stuff), please send me an ask and I’ll try to help you.

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 50

The drones are in regeneration mode again, and we see a big sweep of them all. One drone's eyes open. They gasp. They start pushing their way out of the formation and to the door. The security officers rush toward them. Seven of Nine stops the officers with a gesture and approaches them.

Seven: State your designation.

Drone: Two of Seven, Tertiary Monitor of Trimatrix 3510. We are malfunctioning.

Seven: State the problem.

Drone: We are experiencing the effects of empathy. It was in this drone's previous DNA--they were El-Aurian. This drone needs to be disassembled and returned to the hive hub to be used for spare parts.

Seven: You are on the USS Aiftadaa. We have come to return you to the way you were. What was your name?

Drone: Kovan.

Seven: I was once Annika. You said you were experiencing empathy. Tell me more about that.

Kovan: I felt a soul despair--as if someone they loved had died.

We see Bev lying on the floor next to KJ's body. Patrick is kneeling next to her.

Patrick: Beverly. It's been 10 minutes. We need to at least let Data know. (Bev lies there, looking into KJ's eyes, barely even blinking.) Please, Beverly. Please get up. Or say something. (no response. Patrick taps his combadge.) Patrick to Data.

Data: Data here.

Patrick: Please report to Sick Bay.

Data: Is something wrong?

Patrick: Please. Report to Sick Bay. I need your help.

Data: Understood.

Data enters Sick Bay. He sees Patrick standing next to Bev's head. He approaches.

Data: Is Kathryn still with us? (Patrick shakes his head.) Is Beverly okay?

Patrick: She's been lying on the floor looking into her eyes since she passed about 15 minutes ago. I can counsel her, but I don't know what to do with the body. Or what ship's functions should be. So I called you.

Data: First, we need to do an autopsy to determine cause of death.

Patrick: The EMH can do that. I can program him to do it without having to have the whole thing be explained.

Data: Good. Next, we need to get Beverly off the floor and into your office. I will do that.

Patrick: Good. Since you're her Number One (voice cracking) I suppose you'll have to take over. Are we going back to Utopia Planitia?

Data: I will set the course once I return to the bridge. There is no need to prematurely upset the crew, so I will tell Daneel privately and then let the rest of the crew know once we arrive at Deep Space 9.

Patrick: That's right--we are closer. Data, will you let me know when we get close? I need to take care of something when we get there.

Data: Of course. Go program the EMH. I will set up Kathryn's body for the autopsy. Then I will bring Beverly to your office.

Patrick is sitting in his office. Bev is catatonic, staring at the ceiling. Patrick's chair is by her head. He strokes her hair, not saying a word. Back on the bridge, Data enters.

Data: Ensign Paris, set a course for Deep Space 9.

Tom: Aye, sir. Is the Captain okay, sir?

Data: We will discuss the Captain's condition at a later date, Ensign. Daneel, will you join me in the ready room? (Daneel nods. They retreat to the Ready Room. As Data starts to tell Daneel about KJ, Seven calls him.)

Seven: Seven of Nine to Data.

Data: Go ahead, Seven.

Seven: I need you and Lieutenant Daneel in Cargo Bay 4. This is urgent.

Daneel: We're on our way, Seven. I guess you'll tell me whatever it was in the turbolift?

Data: That is a good idea.

in the turbolift

Data: The Captain is dead.

Glasses: (in shock, after a minute) I don't know what to say.

Data: To paraphrase a 20th century musical, "there is nothing to say. Nothing that's not been said."

Glasses: So it's alright that I am not going to say anything?

Data: Yes. Silence is a perfectly acceptable response to horrifying news.

They stand in silence and exit when the doors open. They enter Cargo Bay 4. Seven of Nine is preparing Kovan for surgery. Once she notices they've arrived.

Seven: This drone is related to Guinan. While I've never met her, I know El-Aurians are extremely powerful. Their name is Kovan. Dr. Crusher needs to perform the surgery on this drone as soon as possible.

Data: Dr. Crusher is not well. The surgery will have to wait until we return to Utopia Planitia.

Seven: Someone on the ship has died. And they know why.

Data: (addressing Kovan) How did you know about Captain Janeway's death?

Seven: WHAT

Glasses: (going to her) It came as a shock to me, too.

Kovan: We felt something leave. We felt someone's soul fall into despair. Someone on the ship died, and someone who loved them is here in anguish.

Data: What caused her death?

Kovan: Q.

Seven: Bastard!

Data: Can you help us communicate with him?

Kovan: Yes.

Data: Come with me.

Data brings Kovan to Sick Bay, interrupting the autopsy.

Data: Bring Q here, Kovan.

Kovan: We ask for the presence of the great Q, hoping the continuum will spare him.

Q: My friend, Data! You've called for me using this...impish species. What seems to be the problem?

EMH: Excuse me, what the hell are you all doing in my sick bay?!

Data: Computer, deactivate the EMH. (EMH disappears.) Q, you have explaining to do.

Q: What, Kathryn? She's safe. Why?

Daneel: Is she alive?

Q: Dead, alive...it's all the same at this point.

Kovan: No, it is not. There is someone here in complete despair. We have been a drone for 20 years, and their despair reached us. Surely a being such as yourself has seen how the Captain's loved one is grieving.

Q: Who, the Doctor? She'll live.

Glasses: Do you always play with the lives of others like this?

Data: Yes, he does. Q, what will it take to bring Kathryn back to us?

Q: I couldn't possibly bring her back.

Data: Yes, you can. You can change the gravitational constant of the universe. You can bring back the dead.

Q: I suppose "could" isn't the right word. I'm more than capable.

Data: What do you want in return for her?

Q: I want to take Patrick with me. (everyone is pretty surprised) Patrick and I have had a wonderful relationship.

Kovan: We are sensing that the joke you are attempting to tell is not funny.

Daneel: You're damn right.

Q: I want to take Patrick on an adventure. If he wants to come back and work with you all again, I'll bring him back.

Data: What would the purpose of this excursion be?

Q: I believe your beloved humans call it a "first date."

Daneel: (awkwardly) Q. Hey. The name's Daneel. Nice to meet you. It has been my understanding through my study of dating practices that both parties need to have an interest in the other on some level before a first date can happen.

Q: Not so when you're a Q. It's a bit of a kidnapping.

Data: In Starfleet, kidnapping is still illegal. Also, Q, do you want Patrick to feel the same way about you?

Q: Ideally, yes.

Data: Then you must ask him politely if he would like to go with you. Given your history, you may also want to promise that he will not be harmed.

Q: Fine. We will do it your way. (Snap. All of them are in Patrick's office.)

Patrick: What the hell are you doing here?!

Q: I must say, Patrick, it's a delight to see you again as well.

Patrick: Daneel, will you sit with Beverly for a moment while I take care of this nuisance?

Daneel: Gladly. (Daneel walks over and sits with Beverly. They play with her hair gently as the rest of the scene goes on.)

Q: A nuisance, am I? Honestly, Data, I don't know why you want to be like them so much. So rude.

Data: Patrick, it would be best if the two of you spoke alone. I am going to explain all I can to Dr. Crusher about these circumstances.

Q: Alone? Mmm. Some place a bit more secluded--perhaps this will do? (Snap. They are both in a bubble bath covered in rose petals. Patrick immediately sinks under the water trying to hide his chest.) Patrick, my dear, I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time.

Patrick: Can it be told to me while we both have clothes on and are standing at least 6 feet apart in an open space not covered in rose petals?

Q: (eye roll) fine. (Snap. They are both clothed and 6 feet apart in Patrick's quarters.) Better?

Patrick: Yes--very. What do you want?

Q: Do you remember when I first began to call on you?

Patrick: Vividly.

Q: I said originally that the Q continuum wanted to destroy you because they found you to be savage. I lied.

Patrick: (incredulously) Really?

Q: Really. I discovered you and found you fascinating. I wanted to play a little game, and you put up quite a fight.

Patrick: When an entire race is on the line, one cannot stop fighting.

Q: And that's very noble of you. I admire that about you. So I came back again and again to play and to find out more about you. And I discovered something. (Patrick gestures for him to go on.) I am attracted to you.

Patrick: (blinking) what

Q: Yes, I was ashamed, too. But I simply cannot help myself. So I wanted to get your attention.

Patrick: Is this where Kathryn comes in?

Q: Look at you, getting smarter every time you play with me!

Patrick: Just tell me.

Q: I saw Kathryn was near death. I played a little game with her. She is dead, but that isn't a permanent thing. She could come back and live with her wife for the rest of her days like she so desperately wants, if...

Patrick: If what? Please just spell it out for me--I'm rather tired.

Q: Will you go on a date with me?

Patrick: (laughing in spite of everything) What does a date look like for a Q?

Q: (inching closer and closer) For us, it could look like visiting the ruins of Jouret IV before they were destroyed. Or even before they were built. Getting to go back to LaBarre and meet this incessantly nagging Robert. We could go sailing on the pools on the rings of Saturn. All these and more. I want to show you the entire universe, Patrick. And it could all start right now.

Patrick: If I go on one date with you, you'll let me do all things I've wanted to do since I was a boy AND also bring Kathryn back from the dead?

Q: Yes, Patrick. Wherever you say, we'll go.

Patrick: You need to swear to me that no one will be hurt. No one in all of history and certainly not anyone here now.

Q: (with his right hand up) On my word as a gentleman.

Patrick: Let's go back to see Beverly. I need to talk to her first.

Q: As you wish. (Snap. They're back in Patrick's office. Bev is sitting up and rocking back and forth. As soon as she sees Q, she bitch slaps him across the face. Then she goes to Patrick.)

Bev: You have to go with him. Please.

Patrick: I owe you.

Bev: No, you don't.

Patrick: Yes, I do. I sent Jack on that mission.

Bev: Don't do this for me. Don't do this for Kathryn. Do this for you.

Patrick: Excuse me?

Bev: Go on a date, Patrick. Have fun. Do what you've always dreamed of. And make this bastard pay for taking my wife away from me.

Q: Mostly well put.

Data: Before the two of you go, we would appreciate your presence at the reception.

Q: Reception?

Daneel: We went ahead and planned one for this evening in case Patrick said yes.

Patrick: (turning to Q) Can we?

Q: You know I can't say no to that face.

KJ is in her white tux, and Bev is in a long white dress. They all look so happy as Data plays "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You."

Q: (walking over to Patrick) May I have this dance?

Patrick: You want to leave already?

Q: (...hand still out) no. I thought I made it clear that I want to dance with you. Will you dance with me?

Patrick: (reaching out to take his hand, laughing a little) Yes.

2019 fanfiction in review

I usually put more effort into pimping my favourite fics of the year, boosting a few new writers in my fandoms, etc. This year, however, I have not, for reasons both within and beyond my control. Which is pretty much my excuse for not Doing Better with writing for the past month or so, but hey. At least there’s this.

.......................................................

1. Best fic(s) you read all year, and why?

How can I even begin to list all the beautiful, shocking, feel-good, feel-terrible-but-in-a-good-way, envy-inducing, page-turning, soul-destroying, fluffy, hilarious, infuriating and horny fics I’ve read this year? I can’t. So I will instead list three that come immediately to mind.

@curator-on-ao3 – The Dismissed Protocol (rated T, VOY, TNG, Janeway & Crusher)

This fic made me angry. So angry that I left a ranty and incoherent comment, slammed down the lid on my laptop and stormed around the house for a bit. Why was I so pissed, you ask? Because this fic hit a good few of my personal triggers around bodily autonomy and the right to make informed choices, and because although the fic ends triumphantly, it’s somewhat of a pyrrhic victory and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Which, considering this is fiction, is the mark of some really good writing. When it comes to tackling difficult topics with a fresh and thought-provoking perspective, and without opting for the easy answers, Curator never disappoints. This story is just one of many examples of that in her work.

@love-in-the-time-of-kolinahr​ – it will take place without witnesses (rated E, DSC, Pike/Number One)

Okay so let me start by saying it was the author’s fucking EXCELLENT pun of a pseudonym that made me read this in the first place. Then it was the poem they quoted (Discovery by Wislawa Szymborska, which is like a portentous rocket in the guts). Then it was Una’s scales-off-the-eyes, we-are-true-equals, don’t-bullshit-me-lover candidness in the way she sees, talks to, knows Chris Pike. I adore Pike in his laconic-space-cowboy-with-a-heart Disco incarnation, I like him a lot as the CoolDad in AOS, but this fic? This fic gives me smart, forthright, deeply tender Number One, and Pike as the fractured and very human hero I hope like hell we’ll see more of because they are definitely making a Pike series RIGHT? It is written. Anyway… this fic is beautiful and harsh and deft and real and sexy and poetic and at its core it’s about love, and who doesn’t love love?

@captacorn​ – Stars in a Ruined Sky (rated M, VOY, Paris/Torres)

It took me a while to read this one because CaptAcorn was posting it at the same time I was writing my epic, and I had no brain space to maintain a hold on someone else’s dark and compelling plot. But when I picked this one up, I couldn’t put it down. It is AMAZING. A Timeless AU, set in a universe where Voyager crashed and most of the crew survived, this goes where no other 100k+ epic I’ve read before has dared to tread, and it does so without flinching. The details are what make this unforgettable – there’s no magic reset button, so when something bad happens to the crew, there are actual lasting consequences – but it’s the humanity of the characters (if I can use that word to describe a crew that includes aliens) that makes it unputdownable (fuck off, my nana said that’s a word). This is not an AU I want to think happened, but CaptAcorn makes it one that rings true. And I’ll definitely read this again when I have the emotional fortitude for it.

Wow, there’s no Janeway/Chakotay in my top three. What? So here’s a bonus:

Northernexposure’s trilogy – Soft Light, Aftershocks and Resolution (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay) – three for the price of one! I mean, when northernexposure posts a new fic I race to read it no matter what, but smut! Beautifully written, true to character, sexy sexy smut from one of my all time favourite authors! How could I turn that down?

2. Best fic(s) you published all year, and why?

Mmmyeah to be honest I kinda feel as though my writing peaked in 2017, but here we go.

Desperate Measures (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay and other pairings) – because there’s angst and smut and the plot is twisty as fuck and I feel like there’s a pretty satisfying payoff. And it’s really long and relies on the reader engaging with my OCs which people seem to have done, which makes me think that if I ever do want to go write another original novel, maybe I won’t want to burn it as soon as I’m done.

This Is The Moment (rated M, DSC, Pike/Tyler) – because these two have exhausting chemistry and I couldn’t not write this but it was hard to make it come out of my brain the way I wanted it. But I’m really happy with it.

And I have a soft spot for First Officer’s Log (rated T, VOY, Chakotay & Tuvok, implied Janeway/Paris), because I just really love Threshold, okay? And while the episode is wack on so many levels there are really dark and heavy themes to explore there which I feel have gone very unexplored and I hope my fic struck that same balance between moral philosophy and holywhatthefuckery.

3. Favourite opening line(s) in a fic you published in 2019:

From Bad Maquis (rated M, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay):

The only thing more restrictive – and bosomy – than this outfit, Kathryn mused as she stared at her reflection, was her holodeck governess costume.



Still, at least she didn’t have to leave her quarters wearing this getup, and thank goodness for small mercies. Because she was on the verge of backing down from this challenge as it was, and Kathryn Janeway did not chicken out. Ever.

I mean, it sets the scene, doesn’t it? Who doesn’t love Janeway in leather.

4. Favourite closing line(s):

This is maybe cheating a little bit because this fic isn’t finished, but this first chapter can stand alone and I won’t be continuing it for some time (first, I have to finish the two prequels, haha). Anyway, these are the closing lines from Inertia (rated T so far, VOY, Janeway/Paris and others):

When the daze clears and Tom looks up to discover that his hovercar is parked in front of an address he’s never visited but has nonetheless memorised, maybe he should feel a little bit surprised.



He doesn’t. No matter how far he tries to go or how long he stays away from her, turning up at Kathryn Janeway’s door is inevitable.

Why do I like it? Well, I have an everlasting appreciation for Janeway/Paris, for one thing. For another, if you read the rest of the story and understand what Tom has just learned, you’ll want to know what happens next. I hope. I sure want to know.

5. The fic that was best received, and your favourite comment(s) on it:

That would be Desperate Measures again. It’s my longest fic by far and I was absolutely bowled over by the response to it, but one of my favourite comments on it is this one:

It actually looks like Janeway is saying gimme and it cracks me up.

Honestly though… the depth and kindness of comments on that fic in particular, the time and thought and effort that people have put into their reviews … it made up for every moment I wanted to chuck it in and never look at that fic again, or any other.

6. The fic you wish had gotten more love:

Honestly, I was surprised there was so little response to my @voyagermirrormarch​ fic trilogy, Heaven in the Shape of Hell. I really thought they’d be crowd pleasers, but it shows what I know, lol. I haven’t even finished the third one because the lack of interest made me wonder if they were just really shite, but I’m not so butthurt about it anymore and I will come back to it someday.

7. How many fandoms you wrote for in 2019, and which inspired you most:

Does Star Trek in all its incarnations count as one fandom? If so, I wrote for two (Trek and Marvel). If all the different versions of Trek count separately, I wrote for seven (MCU, AOS (that’s Trek Alternate Original Series, not Agents of SHIELD), Disco, Mirror, Enterprise, DS9 and Voyager).

Anyway, I guess I’ll never stop being inspired by Voyager, so even if Disco season 3 and the Picard show do nothing for me, I’ll always have that.

8. Your favourite pairing(s) to write for:

I mean, Janeway x Chakotay, for sure. But I’m deeply, deeply invested in Janeway x Paris at the moment.

9. What you’re writing now/next:

I’m struggling through the second part of what was supposed to be my contribution to @25daysofvoyager​. I’m actually going to post the first part once I’m done with this quiz in the hope it’ll kick my ass into gear. I’m also on semi-hiatus from Kinetic Friction, but I’ll be going back to it as soon as I’m done with my 25 Days fic. At some point after Kinetic there’ll be the sequel, and then the rest of Inertia. I’m also contemplating something for Threshold Day, possibly throwing something into @voytalentchallenge​ (don’t count on that one), and I have an idea for a pre-Enterprise D, pre-Voyager meeting between Picard and Janeway (with smut, obvs), plus all the other fics I’m definitely going to write …

And of course there’s my meat raffle. Time to pimp that one again. Donate to AO3 and if I draw your name out of the hat of randomness I’ll write you a fic to your specifications (roughly).

10. Writing goals for 2020 (word count? new fandoms/pairings? anything?):

Look, I’d just really like to actually write to some of the prompts I’ve had sitting in my ridiculously complex filing system without getting sidetracked by the newest shiny thing to catch my eye. In terms of fandoms, I hope I’ll write more for Discovery, I’m looking forward to Picard, and I would like to branch out from Trek a bit. More MCU, definitely, and maybe others if I get inspired. The main thing I want out of writing fanfiction at the moment is for it to continue making me happy, though, so I just hope I keep having fun with it.

Star Trek Voyager: Night

Episode 5.1 “Night”

Stardate 52081.2

Harry and Tom are playing a Captain Proton program on the holodeck.  The Doc enters, frustrated that Tom has gone three minutes into his holodeck time. There’s a power surge to the hologrid.  Chakotay is on the bridge alone.  There are no star systems within 2500 lightyears.  They’ve been crossing the expanse for two months, and they have another two years to go.  Seven tells Chakotay and asks if she should inform the captain.  “No,” he says, “I’ll tell her.”

Chakotay says it’s been 53 days since they entered the desolate region.  They are creating energy reserves.  Chakotay calls the senior staff in for a briefing. B’Elanna says there’s nothing new to report.  Everyone is going stir crazy. Neelix suggests adding a third holodeck and rotating crew assignments.  Neelix, Tom and the others ask about the captain.  “Rumor has it she never leaves her quarters,” Tom says.  Chakotay defends her, “She can run the ship from wherever the hell she wants.”

Tom and B’Elanna are at each others’ throats.  Neelix gets angry at them and tells them they are supposed to be setting an example for the rest of the crew, then Neelix starts to have an anxiety attack.

Seven suggests to Tuvok that he try Borg regeneration instead of meditation because it’s more efficient.  They detect theta radiation.

Chakotay tells Janeway about the theta radiation.  He tries to convince her to join him for a few rounds of Velocity.  “What if I told you I’m not leaving until you join me?” he asks.  He tells her she’s packed a bad time to isolate herself from the crew.  She says she’d give anything for a little distraction.  “No time to stop and think about how we got stranded in the Delta Quadrant.”  He tells her the story of how they were stranded, “we decided to stay.”  No, she disagrees, “I decided to stay.”  “Kathryn…”  Chakotay tells her their mission has been a success.  She says she made an error in judgment.  “It was shortsighted and it was selfish, and now all of us are paying for my mistake.”  She says to tell the crew that the captain sends her regards.  

Harry occupies himself playing his clarinet.  Tom shows Seven the Captain Proton program, but she doesn’t understand how to play along.

The ship suddenly drops out of warp, a blackout.  Seven and Tom are in the holodeck.  Harry and Tuvok are on the bridge.  Chakotay finds Neelix having another anxiety attack.  There are intruders aboard the ship.  Janeway reappears, the crisis having gotten her out of her quarters.  They bring the warp core back on line.  Janeway and Chakotay work seamlessly together.  The alien vessels are chased away by another alien vessel, a Maalon freighter.

The Maalon captain beams aboard to talk to Janeway and Chakotay.  He suggests that Voyager turns around; there are more of the intruders ahead. Janeway says they can’t go back.  The Maalon captain says there’s a spatial vortex a few light years away that leads to the other side of the expanse.  He asks for the remaining intruder aboard their ship.  Janeway asks what’s going on, but he won’t tell her.  He says that she can either cooperate or stay behind. Janeway says they need to hear the other side of the story.  They go to talk to the intruder who is in sickbay.  The doctor reveals that the alien is dying of theta radiation.  The alien tells Janeway that the Maalon are poisoning their space. Janeway stays with the alien and sends Chakotay to the bridge.  “Finally something to put in my log book,” she says.

Chakotay goes to Tuvok for advice (“a first” Tuvok quips).  Chakotay says he’s always respected Tuvok’s judgment and right now he could use some Vulcan clarity.  Tuvok notes “guilt has been her constant companion”.  Chakotay asks if he’s seem him like this before.  Tuvok tells a story about her in her first year as a commander aboard the USS Billings where an away team she ordered was injured and she returned to finish the work alone.  She wanted the crew to know that their suffering had not been in vain and he tells Chakotay she could have been killed.  Chakotay knows they have to be prepared for her to do something like that again.  Tuvok lets Chakotay know he has his support.  

The alien tells Janeway that they need Voyager’s help to close the vortex so that the Maalon can’t get into their space anymore.  Janeway confronts the Maalon and offers to help them purify their waste if they show Voyager through the vortex.  The Maalon captain tells B’Elanna and Chakotay that their technology is great, but that it would put him out of a job.  B’Elanna gets angry, but Chakotay tries to be diplomatic.  J&C go through the options.  Chakotay says they can go through the vortex on their own and then approach Maalon authorities. Janeway says they could collapse the vortex, but they have to do it from this side.  That would add two years onto their journey; Janeway says she can’t make the same mistake twice.  Janeway tells Chakotay, “There’s no one I trust more than you,” and “you’re a fine first officer.”  She asks if he’s ready to captain the ship and tells him to assemble the crew.

Janeway enters the bridge for the first time in two months.  The whole senior staff is there.  She gives them orders to proceed to the vortex and tells them she’ll take a shuttle.  B’Elanna shuts down the conversation right away, and everyone refuses to cooperate.  She looks at Chakotay for a long time.  Tuvok tells Janeway, “As you can see, you’re not the only one who’s had time to evaluate the past.”  Janeway tells them they could all be hanged for mutiny. Chakotay has an idea.  Janeway’s spirits are boosted.  “You told them.  They knew coming in,” Janeway says, sitting down in her chair.  “Let’s just say I wouldn’t be a fine first officer if I hadn’t,” he replies.  Just in the nick of time, the other aliens come in and help Voyager distract the Maalon.  They manage to ride the shockwave through the vortex and collapse it.  They are not quite out of the void.  Then they see other stars and planets and are finally out of the void. It is beautiful.  “Harry, what do you see out there?” Janeway asks, holding back the emotion in her voice.  Kathryn tries not to cry and says, “Full speed ahead.” Janeway never deals with the fallout of this episode.

Original Airdate: October 14, 1998

Production Number: 195

Episode Tags: J/C, Journey Home, Character Backstory

Notable First Appearances: Captain Proton

Meanwhile, back in the Alpha Quadrant...

Starfleet has decided to stop fighting a defensive war.  Admiral Ross asks Sisko to plan the invasion of Cardassia.  Sisko finds a weak spot in Cardassia’s defenses.  Meanwhile, Weyoun argues with Damar about leaving a weak spot in their defenses.  Damar reveals that they have new automated weapons platforms.  Dukat reappears unexpectedly.  Dukat reveals that he believes Sisko caused Ziyal’s death, not Damar, and that he wants to take revenge on Sisko. Dukat says he now exists in a state of complete clarity that he wishes to share with the universe.  Dukat says he wants an artifact that will make it possible for Dominion reinforcements to come through the wormhole and destroy the Federation.  Sisko tries to convince the Romulans to join in the invasion, but they fight with Martok.  The Cardassian defensive grid is not activated yet, and this prompts the Romulans to join the invasion.  Sisko has a vision from the Prophets, and they tell him not to go to Cardassia.  Ross gets mad at Sisko when he tells him, and says he has to choose between being the Emissary and a Starfleet captain.  Sisko chooses Starfleet.  Dukat arrives with an artifact.  He chants an invocation and releases the Pah’wraith which then inhabits his body. Sisko leaves Dax in charge of the station.  Dax and Worf are trying to have a child.  Worf goes on the Defiant, leaving Dax behind.  The battle isn’t going well for the allies.  Dax goes to the Bajoran shrine to pray for a child when Dukat appears.  He attacks Dax and then puts the Pah’wraith into the orb.  At the same moment, Sisko realizes something is wrong.  The crew of the Defiant manages to disable the generator for the Cardassian weapons platforms, and the allies land ground troops in Cardassian space.  Dukat reveals that the wormhole is gone and that the Bajorans are cut off from the Prophets completely.  Weyoun is angry, but Dukat tells him it’s not a problem.  Sisko arrives back on DS9, and the Bajorans tell him he has to ask the Prophets to return because all the orbs are dark.  Jadzia dies although Bashir is able to save the Dax symbiant.  Sisko stands over Jadzia’s coffin and tells her he has failed as the Emissary and as a captain.  He tells her he has to get away and figure out how to make things right again.  Sisko takes a leave of absence, leaving Kira in charge of the station.  Sisko goes home to New Orleans.

I am curious about how you would see the ship of Janeway and Ayala? Potential love triangle with Chakotay!

OK, but can you imagine if Janeway and Ayala were having some kind of secret relationship the entire time? Has someone written this? Because I kind of love the idea. He’s a consistent background character, but never a focal point so it can go lots of ways.

The first thing he does is go after Tuvok for betraying the Maquis so Janeway would notice and remember him (nobody attacks her Vulcan!). He’s seen as her personal security a couple times. He’s also seen drinking coffee more than once. But he barely ever speaks, leading me to assume he’s the strong, silent, stoic type who would be able and willing to keep quiet about their relationship.

It starts as a physical thing, probably after an emergency. He’s with her during some attack – the Kazon or the Vidiians or whatever – and it goes on for hours and they are cut off from the rest of the crew so Janeway is super frustrated and leading blind and kind of in that manic Janeway Destroy mood she gets into and Ayala just follows her lead and does what she needs him to. And when they get out of it all they are both gross and exhausted and starving and Janeway says something like ‘Great job lieutenant’ and squeezes his arm and he shyly says ‘Thank you’ (he’s not used to positive reinforcement and he has a crush on her like everyone) and offers to walk her to her cabin. And she’s touched, and also very tired so her guard is down, and agrees. They don’t talk about anything important on the way, small talk – when does your next shift start, I want to sleep for days, I hope Neelix has something good for breakfast, etc. When they get there she thanks him and he says ‘Anytime’ and they linger. And Janeway is so tired and they nearly died today, again, and he’s looking at her with heart eyes and gods she wants to jump him. ‘I need a shower’ she says, because someone has to say something, they can’t stand there staring at each other, someone could appear at any moment. He laughs, because this moment is pretty ridiculous and as I’ve mentioned, they are so tired, they’re giddy. And he nods ‘Me too’ and she murmurs she has some rations saved up for a water shower and leans back and her doors swish open and they don’t make any decisions they just disappear into her quarters. They stumble around in the dark, pulling off clothes as they head towards the shower, not saying a word, not really looking at each other. The water is hot, it soothes. She scrubs his body, exploring as she goes, then offers him the soap (scented, he loves her smell, lavender and coffee and the silver musk of a starship). Ayala is amazed how small is, she’s so larger than life. He can pick her up with little effort and she lets him, invites it, it’s been too long. They don’t even get to the bed.

Janeway makes it very clear that they are not in a relationship, they cannot be in a relationship, and if he wants this to continue he has to agree to tell no one and understand that nothing has changed. He does, so he does. And it goes on for years. They are very good at hiding it. Janeway flirts with everyone so any time she flirts with Ayala it’s seen as totally benign and normal. Everyone on the ship is at least a little bit in love with Janeway so anytime Ayala is watching her with open emotions is also seen as totally benign and normal. Everyone knows there is something between her and Chakotay and assumes he’d be her first call if she decided to break her no fraternization rules. Which everyone assumes she wouldn’t.

What makes it work is that Ayala has a lot of baggage – he left his sons to join the Maquis, to do what he thought was necessary to take a stand and build a better world for them, and he ended up lost in the DQ, unable to complete that mission, and afraid he’ll never see them again. He’s not looking for the kind of stability a Chakotay wants in a relationship with Janeway, nor does he feel indebted to her the way a Paris or a Seven does. He’s attracted to her, and he wants to protect her. He doesn’t take it personally when she goes weeks without seeking him out. He gives her what she needs when she needs it and he feels great that he can do that for her, and doesn’t want more. He can’t handle more.  An outside observer (and Kathryn herself, in one of her moods) might think he’s being used but he’s happy, so what right do they have to judge it?

I can see this going on through the entire series, and is never quite a romance, though it’s not purely physical – they do things like chat over coffee, too. They are a particular kind of friends, and none of it would have happened without Voyager’s special circumstances, but they are what each other needs to get through it.

(In this scenario, it wouldn’t work as a love triangle with Chakotay, but I can see where that has potential, too, if Ayala and Janeway had a more traditional romance, and especally if Chakotay and Ayala had a fling while on the Val Jean.)

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it and/or write a scenario/give you a series rundown of my headcanons

60 Minute Makeover

(I apologise for the length, I've been distracted today and I've just decided to throw this out there...) 60 minute make over Tom Paris creates another new idea to keep staff motivation at a high. Whilst scrolling through the ship's archives, he comes across an Ancient Earth TV programme called "60 minute make over" The premise is simple. A house is chosen (usually with a family in desperate circumstances) and a team move in and redesign their home in less than 60 minutes. Tom watches hours of episodes and he is hooked. He decides it would be great for the crew to attempt to redesign a fellow crewmates quarters in 60 minutes. The Captain agrees and names are randomly assigned to everyone taking part. Paris and Torres, sneakily fix some of the results, purely for the opportunity of betting it would encourage. Harry gets Seven Seven gets Tuvok . Tuvok gets Harry. Neelix gets the Doctor. The Doctor gets Neelix. Paris gets B'Elanna (she scowls at him for this) B'Elanna gets Tom (she punches his arm for this!) Chakotay gets Janeway. Janeway gets Chakotay. To his credit, Tom hides his amusement well, though he quickly bangs out a selectively crew wide betting pool entitled "Will he search her knicker drawer?" Harry shocks everyone with a resounding message,"Or just her knickers?" Tom reprimands the young ensign, he reminds him that vulgarity never gets anyone laid. The date is set for the challenge the following Saturday and everyone is abuzz with their plans and designs. Some people worriedly mention their least favoured colours and materials whilst others are just excited to see everyone's reactions. Chakotay is quietly confident he knows Kathryn well enough to redesign her quarters in a way that will make her happy. During their weekly dinner, she presses him to reveal his ideas, flirting outrageously over the wine and candles laid out on the table. Chakotay merely smiles coyly and tells her she will have to wait and find out. Kathryn's frustration with him grows and she even tries to order him into telling her. Chakotay laughs at her and moving into her personal space as he leaves her quarters merely whispering a, "Goodnight, Kathryn" his breath gently blowing the tendrils of her loosened hair around her ears. She groans in frustration as the door closes. The truth is, she wishes she hadn't signed up for this stupid challenge. She has literally no idea what to do with Chakotay's quarters (except sleep there, she thinks) and is worried about what will happen in the challenge when she stands there like an idiot with nothing to offer. She's also slightly angry with him for agreeing to take part in the first place. Why does he want his quarters redesigning when he's already got them perfect (in her eyes) anyway? Damn him and his irritating smile! Saturday dawns and the challenge begins. Everyone involved rushes around to the quarters they are redesigning, uniforms discarded in favour of work clothes. Over the ship's system, the computer merrily chirps the start of the competition. Tom is elaborate with his designs. There's lots of bright colours and cheap plastic involved, the replicator whirring happily with each command. He plays loud 20th century pop music to aid his creative juices. B'Elanna is brutal in her work. She attacks each wall with gusto, cursing in Klingon as she goes. She makes use of paint and her hypospanner and brutally punishes Tom's quarters. Harry works with shaky hands, taking time and care with his efforts. During the replication of his materials, he also replicates a protective vest in case Seven resents his troubles. Seven is methodical. She completes the task in 26 minutes and 25 seconds and is back at Astrometrics by 30 minutes. Tuvok is contemplative. He works with calmness and practicality. He too completes the task within the required 60 minutes and indulges himself in some meditation. Chakotay gets straight to work. He has stepped down to trousers only and he works solidly. He's planned all week and though not part of the rules, has been preparing things in advance. He approaches the task with love and affection, every detail carefully thought out. As the end of the challenge approaches, he adds the finishing touches and feels a warm swell of satisfaction. He's certain Kathryn will love it. Kathryn meanwhile has stood in the centre of Chakotay's quarters for 24 minutes looking lost. Finally, inspiration strikes. With a mad dash she races around, flustered and stressed and just makes it in time. Everyone reconvenes on the bridge and Tom leads the way to explore each creation. Harry's efforts are first up. The doors to the Cargo bay and Seven's accommodation swish open to reveal....pink. Everything is garish pink, right down to Seven's regeneration pod which is delicately adorned with fluffy pink lights. Seven raises an eyebrow. "The colour is offensive." she states. Harry's face falls, "I thought a bit of colour might brighten it up." Seven realises her reaction was perhaps not in keeping with her humanising lessons and she forces herself to add, "I'll adapt. I thank you." Tom whistles at Seven's restrained reaction and smirks at Harry, mouthing, "Pink?!" at him. Harry turns a dark shade of red and shuffles his feet. Tuvoks quarters are next. Seven leads the way with purposeful strides. As the door opens there are a few gasps of unrestrained horror. Seven has dismantled everything she deemed, "unnecessary" and left the bare minimum. Namely one chair and a bed, a single unlit candle remains on the floor. "It is....efficient." Tuvok states, his Vulcan restraint pushed to the limits. "There's no need for frivolous furnishing. Simple is the way," Seven states. "Indeed." Tuvok replies, his reaction clearly perturbed, even if he would never admit it. Tom quickly moves the group on, sniggering with Harry and B'Elanna as they leave. Harry's quarters are next. Tuvok keys in the code and steps back. Harry moves in and looks about himself. Nothing seems different. Except his furniture has moved about. "Your quarters were not conducive to a clear mind. I have moved things in order to make use of the natural flow the environment requires. You will find your music will improve." Tuvok explains. "err, thanks, Tuvok." Harry says, disappointed at the lack of pink. Tom guffaws and leads the group onwards. B'Elanna's quarters are next. Tom elaborately unveils her new living space. B'Elanna gapes in horror. Tom has turned her living space into a 1950's style diner complete with leatherette booths and a jukebox. The only colours are red and black. The language is rather blue. She moves towards her bedroom and yells a series of harsh Klingon curses as she spots the heart shaped bed and red velvet furnishings. Tom tries desperately to appease her, B'Elanna shoves him hard and calls him a pig. She's also currently regretting her own choice of furnishings for Tom's quarters. The Captain suggests they move on before B'Elanna kills her best pilot. B'Elanna growls under her breath all the way to Tom's quarters. She steps back as the doors open to reveal.....a 1950's style diner complete with leatherette booths and blue and white tiles. Tom looks at B'Elanna. She shrugs. She smirks. He smirks back. They move closer. Harry recognises the signs and quickly suggests they leave them to their differences. Seven takes the opportunity to announce this activity is irrelevant and decides to return to work. Tuvok concurs that he has had enough furnishings and departs back towards his own quarters. Harry makes a quick escape, not wanting to be anywhere near Tom's quarters when things really kick into gear. This leaves Chakotay and Janeway standing together outside Tom's door both looking a little bemused. Chakotay leans closer and smiles, "We didn't get chance to share our creations with each other." Kathryn flushes at the closeness and replies, "No, I guess we didn't." "Shall we?" Chakotay suggests. Kathryn gives a short nod and he steps aside, signalling her to lead the way. As she walks past, she feels the comforting presence of his hand on her lower back. As they reach Chakotay's quarters, Kathryn stops and turns to him, nervously glancing about herself. "I...struggled with this," she admits. Chakotay cocks his head to one side and gazes at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I apologise if it's not something you like," Kathryn adds. Chakotay smiles, "I'm certain it'll be lovely." Kathryn huffs and turns back towards his door. She keys in his code, (Chakotay smirks at the fact she uses his actual code rather than her override). The doors swish open and Chakotay feels his jaw fall slack. What was once his living room, gently decorated with artefacts from his former life, has now been transformed into what can only be described as a jungle of large, lush green plants. There's a path leading from the door that draws Chakotay forward. He walks slowly, breathing in the fresh scent of lung breathing plants. He hears the sound of water running and peering through the foliage, he spots a simulating waterfall. There are small chairs dotted about and Chakotay realises they are placed perfectly to enjoy the natural beauty of the plants. The pathway opens out into a small clearing where his dining table now resides, the replicator blinking nearby but decorated with dark red flowers and further greenery. His artefacts can be found, positioned in places to enhance their own natural beauty and only adding to the spectacle before him. Until now he hadnt heard Kathryn behind him but he turns to her, gaping in awe. Kathryn flushes, "You hate it," she sighs. He steps closer to her, "Are you kidding? I love it!" Kathryn's head snaps up and she searches his face for any signs that he is joking or trying to be polite. "You do?" "Of course! It's magnificent! But....where did you get the idea?" Kathryn looks around and flushes slightly, a shy smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "I wanted to create something that would help you keep in touch with your heritage. You have often spoke of the impact your visit to Central America had on you as a child, I wanted to try and recreate that place," Kathryn explains. "I wanted to create a sanctuary for you. One that isn't all technology and Starfleet but something that is just....you." Chakotay feels his heart soar at her words. The fact she recalls their early conversation of his experiences with the Ancient Rubber Tree people, he had no idea she had held onto that story all this time. This act gives him real hope for the future. "I am honoured, Kathryn," he says honestly. "This must have taken you far longer than 60 minutes. Are you sure you haven't cheated? Fiddled with time again?" His eyes glint at her with humour and Kathryn can't help but laugh. "Sadly, I didn't, but why I didn't think of that, I've no idea!" she grins at him. "Actually, I probably wasted most of that hour stood here with no idea what to do! Inspiration finally struck me and I only just managed to finish in time. It's not exactly how I wanted it all to turn out, but...." "It's perfect as it is, Kathryn," he says softly. "Thank you." Kathryn smiles and pats his chest, "Well you can hardly tell your Captain you hate her designs for fear she'll bust you down to Ensign," she jokes, hoping to alleviate the building tension in the air. "I'm being honest Kathryn. I'll only ever be honest with you, always." Kathryn smiles softly and reaches for his hand. He takes her offer and squeezes it, smiling back. "Now, I think we need to visit my quarters and see what you created," she quirks her eyebrow. He huffs slightly and pulls her back towards the doors of his quarters. A short walk and they are stood outside Kathryn's door. Chakotay runs a hand through his hair, "I hope you like it," he says, genuine concern flooding his features. "I'm sure it's perfect," she smiles, patting his arm. She keys in her code and steps inside. Suddenly her senses are overloaded. Her quarters are nothing like her quarters. Instead she steps back in time to New Earth. To the place where for too few days, she knew what true happiness was. There's greenery everywhere, flowers and that wonderful scent that belonged only to that planet. In the corner, tomato plants grow and she feels tears pricking at her eyes as she sees the painted image of the monkey on her wall. Something draws her forwards towards her bedroom and she gasps as she sees the beautifully carved wooden headboard adorning her bed. She looks to her right and sees her bathroom door ajar and she knows. Knows it in her bones. She moves forward as if in a dream and sure enough, there is the bath he had lovingly made for her. She turns back, mouth open. "Why?" she breathes. He looks embarrassed and shuffles his feet. "It made you happy," he says simply. Her mind races back to that night. Their last night before Tuvok returned for them. The night that started with a bath and ended up in her bed, his body over hers. The memories flood hard and fast. The heat, the passion, the love. "Chakotay," she breathes. He steps closer, "I miss you, Kathryn," he says softly, "I can't forget that night." She swallows hard, "I can't either," she admits. He moves closer again, "You looked so beautiful that night." She feels her chest pound and closes her eyes, "Chakotay...." "I know, we can't..not in the real world, but here..." his voice is barely there. "But here..." she repeats, her mind whirling. "It's not Starfleet. Not here. You're not Captain. I'm not your Commander," he adds. "We're equal," she finishes. He moves into her space and reaches his arms around her. "I love you," he whispers. She closes her eyes and leans into him, "I know....I..." "You love me too," he breathes into her hair, "here you love me too." "Yes," she answers. He claims her mouth and she falls once more into the pure and heady sensations of him...

740. [VOY] Shattered

SCORE:

(4/5 stars)

And I'm back! Sorry about the 3-month vanishing act there. I needed some mental health time for myself and let laziness seep in there as well. A bit silly to walk away from my blog when there's only 20 reviews left to write. I'm lucky Star Trek: Discovery got delayed, because I want to be completely done once that show rolls out so I can be freed up in my schedule to review it as it comes out.

Chakotay finds Icheb and Naomi in the cargo bay putting together a puzzle with a DNA sequence as the picture. Icheb asks Chakotay to keep it a secret because Seven thinks he's doing some other work, and Chakotay tells him to share a similar secret as he retrieves a hidden cache of alcohol that he doesn't want Neelix cooking with. Icheb suggests hiding it with the Borg tech as Neelix never inventories it, and Chakotay commends him for his creative thinking. He then goes to Janeway's quarters, where she yet again is struggling with her replicator. As per usual, their dinner plans are interrupted by a spacial anomaly. Chakotay heads to Engineering to help out, and is rewarded for his efforts by getting hit with a temporal surge.

Torres quickly has him transported to sickbay, where the Doctor is able to stabilize his temporal flux. According to him, Chakotay had had the liver of an 80 year old and the kidneys of a 12 year old. But in conversation with him, Chakotay realizes something else temporal has happened, because the Doctor doesn't know about his mobile emitter. When Chakotay heads to the bridge to find out what's happened, he passes through a ripple, and discovers that the bridge crew are all from before Voyager came to the Delta Quadrant. Since their first mission is to apprehend him, they naturally arrest him right away, but as he's being escorted to the brig by two security officers, they vanish through that ripple in the turbolift.

He returns to sickbay, where he asks the Doctor to create a hypospray with the same serum used to treat his injuries, since it's protected him from passing through the temporal barriers and if he has any hope of repairing the ship, he'll need help. He returns to the bridge, and drops some personal knowledge about Janeway to convince her that he's from her future. She takes him to her ready room and he explains the whole story, but she's not convinced it's the truth and fears the hypospray may be a poison. Knowing he won't make headway with words, he grabs her, says it is poison, and holds her hostage as he walks down the hallway to the nearest temporal barrier, injecting her just before passing through.

Janeway isn't sure why she needs to stick with Chakotay now that she's free to move about the ship, but the ship is divided into sections of a future she knows nothing about, so she's safer with her future First Officer. He gives her small details but attempts to avoid violating the Temporal Prime Directive and giving her too much information. Explaining the Astrometrics lab, though, is a necessity—it wasn't built when Voyager launched. Chakotay wants to use its sensors to determine how many timeframes the ship is divided into, but is greeted by an adult Naomi and Icheb. They're surprised to see both Chakotay and Janeway, as they've been dead for 17 years from their perspective. There are 37 timeframes on the ship. They can't return to the focal point, but Chakotay wants to go looking for Seven of Nine to pick her brain for solutions.

The Cargo Bay is set during "Scorpion" as a fully-Borg Seven and other drones are working. They're still at the moment of truce with the Voyager crew, and Seven proves highly useful. Borg cubes undergo similar stresses to that which fractured Voyager while flying at transwarp, and they use a chroniton field to stabilize the vessel. Janeway realizes they can use the Doctor's serum on the ship's own bioneural circuitry to get the ship in sync, while the warp core can be modified to generate the chroniton field. They'll just have to get the Doctor to create enough hyposprays, and move through every timeframe aboard the ship injecting the circuitry. Once that is done, the timeline should reset to a few moments before the accident that split the ship.

After being chased down a corridor by a macrovirus from that stupid episode with the macrovirus, they find themselves on the holodeck, where controls are of course locked out but one of the bioneural access points is in the deck. It happens to be running Captain Proton, and Janeway is forced to play Arachnia in order to get Doctor Chaotica to unhand them and help them "disarm weapons from the Eighth Dimension." They find some Maquis (not yet in Starfleet uniform) in the transporter room and B'Elanna demands to know why Chakotay is wearing their uniform and working with Janeway, who she blames for destroying their way home.

The mess hall has been turned into a triage center, and appears to be part of Chakotay's timeframe. Many crewmembers are injured and dying of radiation poisoning. Tuvok holds on just long enough to tell Janeway to "live long and prosper" before passing away. After all this horror Janeway has witnessed, and knowing it's all due to a decision she makes to strand Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, she wants to change the plan and modify the pulse to reset on her timeframe instead of Chakotay's. She can avoid the whole thing happening in the first place. Chakotay manages to talk her out of it, saying she's only seeing snapshots of the bad times, and that a lot of good has come about as well.

The last location to inject is Engineering, which is still controlled by Seska and the Kazon. Chakotay attempts diplomacy, explaining what happened to the ship, and Seska says it's too ridiculous for him to have made it up, but she knows he's trying to pull one over on her because last time he was in Engineering he suggested she was from the past, which means that her hold over Voyager is only temporary. She decides she'll recalibrate the chroniton pulse to bring the ship into alignment with her timeframe instead, but doesn't count on Chakotay and Janeway using the time fractures to their advantage. The crew of Voyager across the disparate timelines show up to fight her and the Kazon off. Even fully-Borg Seven gets in on the action.

Everyone returns to their own section of the ship and the pulse is fired, sending Chakotay back moments before the accident. In Engineering, he turns the deflector array into a lightning rod, and the burst from the anomaly strikes it instead, burning it out but leaving the ship safe. Chakotay won't go into specifics with Janeway as to why he did it, citing the temporal prime directive, and they finish their dinner in her quarters.

NITPICKS

The temporal prime directive does not apply to alternate timelines that were erased. The only hint of a future was one with an adult Icheb and Naomi, whose future was a direct continuation of the ship's temporal fractures. There is no reason for Chakotay not to fill Janeway in on everything that happened.

FAVORITE QUOTES

Icheb: Excellent. You recognized the complementary base pair. Naomi: Actually, I just found two pieces that fit together. Icheb: You're missing the point. Naomi: I thought the point was to finish the puzzle. Icheb: And learn something about genetics. Naomi: If you really want to help, find me a green piece that looks like Tuvok's ear.

fic: "You want this. Your rose is calling me, Kat," he growled, nudging his tip against her anal hole.

me: what. the actual. fuck.

fic: He could feel how her anal walls adjusted to his great size.

me: oh of course he has a giant dick

fic: resisting the urge to stick his cock in one of her orifices.

me: like her nostril? her eye socket?

fic: like a hungry baby she greedily closed her mouth around his tip and played with him.

me: not sure semen provides the nutrition babies need

fic: Something exploded behind his eyelids.

me: his brain, probably, from embarrassment at how terrible this is

fic: He resisted the urge to suck her tits, though they beckoned like two flashing beacons.

me: can't unsee janeway's breasts with blinking lights

fic: Just stroking her pussy had been enough to allow her muscles to relax so that he could push his engorged flesh deep into her anal passage.

me: ...

fic: A searing kiss - his tongue probed her mouth, causing him to swoon from the pleasure of it.

me: ROFL

me: THIS GOES FROM HORRIFYING TO HILARIOUS IN SECONDS

fic: "Oh, spirits! You're tight, Kat!"

fic: "Let's just say I hate dildos," was all she murmured as she gazed at him with her heated, smouldering cat-like eyes.

me: I CAN'T

fic: He held her for several heady seconds to allow her to adjust to his size.

me: just in case you'd forgotten he has a big dick

fic: He lifted her out and rammed her down on him again. So he continued the forceful ramming,

me: everyone loves a good ramming amirite

fic: he settled her on him, filling her glorious softness. No climaxing this time, just a lazy thrusting as they enjoyed their shower.

me: seems uncomfortable?

fic: the good feeling of being inside Kathryn with his mouth on hers overrode any discomfort they felt.

me: oh okay then

fic: He rode her hard and soft, slow thrusts and sudden pounding until he lost control and simply heaved in arrhythmic pushing against her.

me: um

fic: His hand stole to her centre, her soft, kind core that wanted so much of him during the night.

me: are we still talking about her vagina?

fic: Their bodies joining in slow lovemaking was everything he wanted, everything that Kathryn desired.

me: cool he's psychic now

fic: how he filled every orifice as if he belonged there

me: ...up her nose, in her ear

fic: He filled her heart and her mind and, with a sob escaping her suddenly, her soul.

me: apparently souls are filled with air. gotta equalise.

fic: Her battered soul. The one that cried out to him without her ever giving heed to those cries herself.

me: i get it, battered from the ramming

fic: He was big and almost hurt her the way he filled her to the hilt.

me: DON'T FORGET HIS ENORMOUS PENIS GUYS

fic: And Chakotay's image, his roaming hands on her body, his mouth in places she thought could never be touched by him, his manhood…Those images haunted her.

me: same bb

fic: So they were intending to marry…

me: THEY'VE HAD ONE DATE FFS

fic: A dagger with ragged points drove straight into her heart.

me: *drives dagger into brain*

fic: a waft of cool air just the right thing to soothe her raging emotions.

me: an ac vent is all you need to regain emotional equilibrium?

fic: She hadn't been to this part of the ship in a while - if four days could be called a while -

me: no. it can't.

fic: Still, the plants, the rows and rows of glass tanks, completed her sense of closeness - a closeness with the plants

me: wait, what?

fic: Kathryn walked to the tank containing her tomato plants. With a great sigh, she put her hand in and carefully fingered a ripe tomato.

me: that's probably not supposed to be sexual but tbh it's hard to tell in this fic

me: there's a bunch of slightly weird/creepy stuff about noah?? if they start going at it in hydroponics i'm out

fic: It was a stroke of inspiration that she’d appointed Noah to take charge of the hydroponics bay. He had taken to the task with a love and enthusiasm that pleased her a great deal and bore out his own entreaties that he was no murderer and killer of alien life forms. The gentle giant she called the tallest member of Voyager's crew now would do anything for her.

me: so there's that. and then this:

fic: Noah of the gentle eyes. Noah who could never in creation hurt a fly, much less a hapless alien form. She looked up at him. He stared down at her from his great height of almost two metres.

me: so i'm getting the impression he's tall?

fic: "Commander Chakotay is standing outside. I promised I'd break him in two if he hurt my captain. I'd like to know from you if I should let him in to see you or whether I should break him in two. Just say the word."

me: it got better

fic: Noah really could break Chakotay in two. The tall former Equinox officer could tear Chakotay's limbs from his body or draw and quarter her first officer in the holodeck.

me: BECAUSE HE'S TALL

fic: She didn't want to face a bleeding, broken, dead Chakotay. When all was said and done, she still needed her first officer.

me: OLOLOL

me: NO NO WAIT IT'S DECLARATION TIME I JUST WANT TO CP ALL OF IT IN ITS MAGNIFICENCE

fic: Not only did he keep her hands imprisoned in his, he also gazed deeply into her eyes, like she had caught him once or twice before, on New Earth, and once, when they had had dinner together in her quarters. His eyes were warm,

me: the next bit is in italics yasss

fic: loving… and during the night, when she had imagined she saw love in his eyes…

me: while he was ramming her, obvs

fic: "C-Chakotay…?" she stammered, unsure of what to make of his look of love.

fic: "Kathryn," he began hoarsely,

me: wait for iiiiiit

fic: "no one knows about the night we shared. I made sure of that. It was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. I'm sorry about what I did at the start." She nodded mutely, a tear forming and rolling down her cheek as she remembered with embarrassment the anal sex.

me: AS SHE REMEMBERED WITH EMBARRASSMENT THE ANAL SEX

fic: "It wasn't my intention, but you…you brought out the untamed in me. You did things to me that…"

me: pretty sure it was you doing all the DOING

fic: hope flared like a giant flame in her heart.

me: let us pause and contemplate just how many things are burning in this fic

fic: "Chakotay, w-what are you saying?" she asked, too afraid to hear his answer.

me: THEN WHY DID YOU ASK THE QUESTION

fic: "As I said, no one knows about our night of passion. But Kathryn, I was desperate - "

fic: "No, Chakotay. I was the one who was desperate, who threw myself at your mercy, begging for a f - " His fingers against her lips stopped the crudity from her.

me: damn it chakotay!

fic: "You tricked me…?!" she whispered incredulously, but too overjoyed to be mad at him.

me: OH HELL NO

fic: "Seven of Nine went along with my plan, Kathryn. She really is a kind friend. I knew that of all the women on board Voyager you would most likely resent seeing me with, it would be her. And she loves you, Kathryn. More than you think."

me: plus she thought it'd be hilarious

fic: "She didn't want to go along at first, but B'Elanna and Tom convinced her she was doing it for the ship. For me. For you."

me: to recap: the entire crew of voyager was in on a plan to convince janeway that chakotay was dating seven in order to induce her jealousy. said jealousy would prove to be so strong that she'd act on her heretofore unacknowledged feelings for chakotay despite believing that any such actions on her part would mean hurting not one but two people she cares for. and of them all seven was the only one who thought maybe it wasn't a great idea? everyone else was super okay with lying and hurting the captain.

me: YEAH THAT'S A GREAT WAY TO SHOW YOU LOVE HER.

me: the characterisation is terrible, the sex is terrible, the writing itself is terrible. but the absolute worst thing about this fic is that the author (and several others so far) seem to think breaking someone's trust is a perfectly fine and even romantic thing to do. and given what chakotay's gone through in terms of betrayal in romantic relationships he'd be the very last person to do such a thing.

me: manipulation is not love. tricking someone is not romantic. if you can do that 'for their own good' then you can also do it to hurt them. the ends do not justify the means! chakotay would never do that! janeway would never do that!

me: *curls into protective ball around them*

Star Trek Voyager: A Fire of Devotion: Part 2 of 4: Louder Than Bells: Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

    “Are you sure?” Samantha Wildman said to Seven of Nine, the latter sitting across from her in the mostly empty mess hall. The only other sentients there were Neelix preparing some snacks for the night shift, and Harry Kim sitting at the far end of the room drinking coffee while working on his reports.     “Unfortunately, yes,” Seven said. “Even if the risk of damaging my regeneration alcove were lower, it would be simply too impractical to move it to your quarters.”     “And the Captain shot down my idea of just moving mine and Naomi’s stuff to cargo bay two,” Sam said, her chin resting in her hand. “She actually thought I was joking when I suggested it, if you can believe it.”

    “I am often surprised at what Captain Janeway finds funny,” Seven said.

    “Well,” Sam said, “I stand by it. The walls in the cargo bays are modular. Moving one over to make your alcove area small enough to qualify as crew quarters shouldn’t be that hard, and there’d still be plenty of room for Naomi.”     “Where would the sonic shower go though?” Seven said. “It would be more than just moving a wall. Inappropriate laughter aside, the Captain does have a fair point.”     “Yeah, you’re right. I guess we’ll just have to keep doing things they way we have been,” Sam said.     “Our living situation is certainly not traditional Sam,” Seven said, smiling as she put her hand on Sam’s knee under the table. “But it has not been a particular burden. Doing anything different is just too impractical for the time being.”     Sam nodded, and looked around.     “It’s late, we probably should-”     “Lieutenant Kim,” Commander Chakotay’s voice said over the comm. “Please report to the bridge.”     “On my way, sir,” Harry said. Sam looked at Harry as he got up to leave, and only then noticed that the view out the mess hall viewports had changed from the familiar streaks of light from warp travel, and that they were getting closer to a planet.     “Odd,” she heard Seven say.     “How so?”     “We were not projected to come that close to a planetary body for another several days. We must have changed course.”     “Must be important,” Sam said.

    “I suppose I should stay awake in case I am needed,” Seven said. “I’m not due for another regeneration cycle for at least twelve hours.”     “You do that,” Sam said, leaning over the table to kiss Seven on the cheek. “Me, I need sleep. I’ll see you before your next regen cycle?”     “Almost certainly,” Seven said. ---

    Harry Kim didn’t let his excitement show, which was easy because there was less of it than he’d expected. He’d been given a real opportunity here; his first time commanding an away team. Voyager had received an automated distress signal just under an hour before he’d been summoned from the mess hall. The signal originated from an M-class planet, but attempts to hail the originator of the signal were met with no response. The bridge crew failed to detect any life signs, but Commander Chakotay had pointed out there could be any number of reasons for that and they should send a team down anyway, a team that he would monitor from the bridge while Harry was in charge. So Harry quickly put a team together, a small one consisting of himself, the Doctor, and Timothy Lang from security division.     “The distress call was automated?” the Doctor asked as he and Harry made their way to the transport room, where Lang would already be waiting for them.

    “That’s right,” Harry said. “We’re hoping whoever sent it is still alive.”     “Well,” the Doctor said, “thanks for bringing me along, Lieutenant. And congratulations.”     “For what?”     “This is your first away mission as lead, is it not?”     “It is,” Harry said. “but it’s just a standard recon. If a full rescue is required, Commander Chakotay will take over from there. I don’t think I deserve a lot of praise for something so basic.”     “Ah,” the Doctor said. Harry wondering what that ‘Ah’ meant exactly, but decided not to press it. The two entered the transport room, their other team member already on the pad, clearly ready to go, but not looking impatient at all. Though to Harry’s memory, Timothy Lang hardly ever had any expression beyond detached disinterest. Harry and the Doctor stepped onto the pad as well.     “Energize,” Harry said.     Within seconds, the away team was on the planet, surrounded by rocks, and reddish orange sky, no signs of any kind of life nearby, not even plant life.

    “Are you sure these are the right coordinates?” the Doctor asked.     “Positive,” Harry said, taking out his tricorder as he spoke.

    “Apparently,” the Doctor continued, “whoever sent the distress call was already rescued.”     “Maybe,” Harry said. “But if that’s the case why not turn off the beacon once they were gone? We should make a thorough search anyway, just to be sure. Spread out.”

    Harry went off in one direction, the Doctor and Lang each taking another, both with tricorders out. It was barely a minute before Harry heard the Doctor call out for him. He jogged over to where the Doctor was standing.     “This is the source of the distress call,” the Doctor said, looking at a device of some sort that was embedded in a nearby outcrop. The device emitted a very low hum, one that was barely any more audible once Harry was closer to it, scanning with his tricorder.     “Para-trinic shielding” Harry said. “A dense energy matrix, bio-neural circuitry…”

    “Bio-neural?” the Doctor said, “Like Voyager?”     Before Harry could confirm that, a series of blue lights on the side of the device activated, and the low hum was replaced with a high pitched beeping.     “Okay,” Harry said, “back off, this thing could be dangerous.” He wondered if a noise like that had been what Tuvok had heard from the Krenim torpedo that had cost him his sight during the Year of Hell. He then felt disappointed at having thought about the Year of Hell for the first time in months.

    “Wait,” the Doctor said. “There are patterns in the beeps. It’s speaking to us, speaking in duotronic algorithms. I think it’s an A.I. My translation matrix is still interpreting, give me a moment.”     The beeps continued.     “It says it’s injured,” the Doctor said. “It needs our help. It’s asking why it can’t see, or why it can’t feel it’s arms and legs.”

    “It doesn’t have any arms and legs,” Harry said.     “I’m aware of that,” the Doctor said. “Regardless, it’s terrified.”

    The Doctor moved over to the opposite side of the device. Harry kept his tricorder open. Lang simply stood just behind Harry occasionally looking around to see if anyone was trying to approach them, perhaps expecting some kind of ambush.     “Can you identify yourself?” the Doctor said to the device. A short series of beeps followed. “It’s saying that its memory’s been damaged. It doesn’t remember its name. Excuse me one moment please while I speak to my colleague.” The Doctor went over to Harry.

    “So,” Harry said, “we have an artificial intelligence on our hands.”     “One who doesn’t seem to realize it is artificial, “ the Doctor said. “I don’t want to risk any psychological trauma, so we can’t tell it what it is just yet.”     “Doc,” Harry said. “It’s a machine. I don’t think synthetic lifeforms are that fragile.”     “Perhaps, but regardless it’s confused and it needs our help, Lieutenant,” the Doctor said. “We should beam it aboard.”     “Not until we know what we’re dealing with,” Harry said. “You know away mission protocols, Doc.”     “I do,” the Doctor said. “But I also know what morality dictates. It is clearly in distress, and we are in a position to help.”

    Harry sighed. Something about this didn’t sit well with him, but his instincts had let him down in the past. He tapped his com badge.     “Kim to Voyager,” he said.

    “Go ahead, Harry,” Captain Janeway’s voice replied.     “We found the source of the distress call,” Harry continued. “It’s a synthetic life form, badly damaged. The Doctor thinks we should beam it aboard.”

    “You’re in charge of the away mission, Lieutenant,” Janeway said, “what do you think?”     Harry looked at the Doctor, and at the device.     “We’ve had bad experiences with A.I.’s before, Captain, but this one has no visible weapon ports that I can find. I’m going to suggest going along with the Doctor’s suggestion, but as a precaution I recommend sealing off an engineering bay with a level ten force field and beaming it directly there.”     “Agreed,” Janeway said. “Give us a few minutes.”

    The Doctor smiled, turning to the device.

    “We’re going to transport you back to our ship,” he said. The device let out another series of beeps. “I’m Voyager’s Emergency Medical Hologram.” The device beeped again, and the Doctor began going into detail about the science behind how holograms worked, and Harry had to suppress a laugh.     Well, Harry thought, if we can get this thing fixed up it looks like Naomi is going to have a real classmate for the first time.

---

    B’Elanna Torres looked at the device that the Doctor had brought aboard, resting on a workbench near the back of engineering.

    “Well, at least this one isn’t silver and humanoid shaped,” she said.

    “I hope you aren’t implying that my new patient is also a leftover weapon from a centuries old war, are you?” the Doctor said.

    “Nah,” B'Elanna said, shaking her head, more to try and clear the mental image of the robot called 3947 from her memory than to show disagreement. “Realistically, what are the odds that twice in less than five years we come across two synthetic life forms dedicated to fighting a war that its creators had ended?”     The Doctor frowned.     “Given some of the things this crew has been through the past six years?”     “Touché,” B’Elanna said. ”Though I have to admit, if it does turn out to be a weapon we couldn’t have picked a worse place to start working on it. Could we maybe move it a bit further away from the warp core?”     “There’s a level ten force field around it, B’Elanna,” the Doctor said. “If it goes kablooey it won’t take us with it.”     “I wish I had your confidence,” B’Elanna said. She heard the door to engineering open, and turned to see Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Kim enter.

    “How’s our patient?” the captain asked.

    “Complicated,” B’Elanna said. “It uses bio-neural circuitry to mimic humanoid synaptic functions, but its memory core is damaged. Basically, it has the technological equivalent of amnesia.”     “Any theories as to what it might be?” Janeway said.     “It could be a probe,” B’Elanna said. “or a communications device.”

    “Whoever our friend is,” the Doctor said, “he wasn’t alone. He claims to have been traveling with a companion.”     “He?”     “He insisted on male pronouns, Captain,” the Doctor said.     “Ah, okay. Carry on. Was the companion an A.I. too?”

    “I believe so,” the Doctor said.

    “Okay, I’ll have Seven use astrometrics to start looking for him. Perhaps if we can find his companion we’ll get more answers.”     With that, the Captain and Harry left. The Doctor moved closer to the device, and asked Tim Lang, who had been watching over the device since both had been beamed up, to lower the force field so he could go talk to it.     “How are you?” the Doctor said. B’Elanna continued on her scanning of the device, but the Doctor was not being quiet, making it impossible not to hear his side of the conversation.

    “Well, that’s an interesting question,” the Doctor continued, after a series of beeps and chirps. “Lieutenants Kim and Torres are attempting to repair your, um, damaged circuitry.”     The series of noises the device emitted next didn’t need much translation in B’Elanna’s opinion.     I guess now I know how to say ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ in binary, she thought.

    “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” the Doctor said. “You’re not an organic being. You’re technological. You’re an artificial intelligence, embedded in a machine of some kind.”     Another series of beeps.

    “No, there’s no mistake,” the Doctor said. “We believe the damage you suffered in the crash is causing your confusion.”     The next series of beeps to come out of the device sounded distressed to B’Elanna’s ears. She supposed she couldn’t blame him at all.     “Well,” the Doctor continued, “look at it this way. You and I have something in common.”

---

    Seven of Nine hoped the planetary scans would go by quicker now that the Captain was here to aid. In the past she might have been insulted that Janeway would jump in on a task that Seven could easily complete herself, but between her romantic relationship with Samantha, and her budding friendships with several other crew members, she had learned the value of free time.

    “I’m detecting no further technology on the planet surface,” she said.     “Maybe the second device was destroyed when it crashed,” Janeway said. “Scan for metallic particulates consistent with our friend in engineering.”

    Seven made the proper adjustments to the sensors in seconds, and had results shortly after that. It was an oddly pleasant experience being able to scan a planet without any sort of unusual outside factors making it difficult. The lack of a metaphorical ticking clock putting pressure on her to find something within an unreasonable amount of time was also nice.

    “There are minute traces scattered across the northern continent,” Seven said. “I’m isolating them now.”     Both women turned from their consoles to look at the astrometrics lab viewscreen, the view shifting to zoom in and clarify the image of that area of the planet. When it was finished, Janeway stated what Seven had already deduced.

“An impact crater,” she said.

“It spans a radius of two hundred kilometers,” Seven said.   

“And look at this,” Janeway said. “Heavy concentrations of radiogenic decay in the crater walls. The fracture gradients are consistent with a highly focused explosion.     “Evidently we’ve discovered the device’s function,” Seven said. “The Doctor will likely be less than pleased to hear this.”

“True, though I’m also not looking forward to telling B’Elanna we’ve got a weapon of mass destruction sitting right next to our warp core.”

“To be fair, Captain,” Seven said, “I doubt anyone in her position would be pleased about such a discovery. I believe the term Mister Paris would use would be ‘sphincter tightening.’”     “Yeah,” Janeway said, Seven noticing that the Captain was not taking her eyes off the crater on the viewscreen. “Sounds about right.”

---

    “I understand your concerns,” the Doctor said to Captain Janeway in the briefing room. “but the device hasn’t shown itself to be hostile.”     “Not yet,” B’Elanna said, standing next to Harry, who was the only one in the room sitting down at that moment, the latter looking worried. The Doctor figured that Harry was blaming himself for potentially endangering the ship, but the Doctor didn’t see it that way at all. He saw an opportunity and he wanted to pursue it.

    “All the more reason to talk to it,” the Doctor said. “We explain our concerns, and then ask it for help in safely defusing its explosive components.”

    “If it’s programmed to detonate,” Chakotay said, standing between Janeway and B’Elanna, “there’s no telling how it would react.”     “Agreed,” Janeway said. “We have to neutralize the threat now. Suggestions?”     “We could beam it off the ship,” Harry said. “Out into space, or back where we found it.”     “Harry, this is a sentient being we’re talking about,” the Doctor said. “I refuse to believe our only options are to kill it or abandon it.”

    “What if we could separate the bio-neural circuitry from the explosive?” B’Elanna said. “Take the weapon off-line, but salvage the intelligence?”     “They’re fully integrated,” Harry said. “Where would we keep the A.I. if we can do that?”

    The Doctor smiled, excited at the prospect of having another synthetic life form to talk to.     “The answer’s obvious,” he said. “Download its synaptic patterns into a holographic matrix like mine.”     “Then what?” Chakotay said, his tone flat enough that the Doctor couldn’t tell if the commander was on his side or not, the way B’Elanna appeared to be.     “First off,” the Doctor said, “we try to find out where it came from, and return it to its people.”     “What if it doesn’t want to go?” Harry asked. “I don’t know if I’m alone in thinking this, but it would seem to me that creating a synthetic life form as complex as this one, only to stick it in what is essentially a missile is just downright sadistic. That would be like having a child for the sole purpose of training it to commit suicide.”

    Janeway sighed.     “Well,” she said, leaning forward on her chair, “in that case I suppose we’d have to grant it asylum, if it asked. Very well then. Harry, B’Elanna, assist the Doctor.”     “Thank you, Captain,” the Doctor said.

    “At the first sign of danger though, we transport it off the ship. Understood?”     Captain Janeway’s tone and stance made it clear that no amount of arguing would do any good on that front, but the Doctor wasn’t worried. He was sure that working with Harry and B’Elanna they’d be able to save the A.I.

    “Yes, Captain,” he said.     “Dismissed,” Janeway said.

---

“This begs the question,” Joe Carey said as he helped Harry carry the device, now known to be a weapon, out of engineering to take to sickbay. “why would you waste such a sophisticated artificial intelligence on a bomb?”     “Harry said pretty much the same thing,” B’Elanna said as she started gathering tools they’d need to perform the procedure to attempt to disable the explosive. “He called the thing’s creators sadistic. Though I wouldn’t entirely rule out stupidity. Anyway, I’ll meet you there. There won’t be enough room for all three of us plus the synthetic in the turbolift.”

“Understood,” Carey said.

The device made a loud noise as the two men started moving towards the door with the device in their arms.     “It’s okay,” the Doctor said, walking alongside them. “I wouldn’t like being carried around either.”     More beeps came out of the device as the group entered the nearest turbolift, B’Elanna walking past them to get to the next nearest.     “We’re taking you to sickbay,” the Doctor said. “we’re better equipped to help you there. Don’t worry.”     We’re talking to a bomb the way I’d talk to my sons when I had to take them to the doctors when they were little, Carey thought, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

There was another series of beeps, softer this time. Carey hoped that meant the explosive device wasn’t panicking. The yield of the explosive was irrelevant, the ship might survive, but he was holding the damn thing. He and Harry certainly wouldn’t. He doubted the Doctor’s mobile emitter would survive either.

“We’re going to transfer your intelligence to a holo-matrix,” the Doctor said. “In a little while, you’re going to be walking around, just like me.”     “Which reminds me,” Harry said. “Have you picked a body for it yet? Him, I mean, sorry.”     “I figured I’d let him choose an appearance,” the Doctor said. “I’ve removed any crew members, especially deceased ones, from the list in order to avoid any possible discomfort for the rest of the crew. Though since we have only the one mobile emitter I suppose we’ll have to work out some kind of sharing schedule so he won’t be confined to just sickbay and the holodeck.”     “Just a thought,” Carey said, “you may want to remove any Cardassians from the list as well. Don’t want to risk anymore drama like we had that one time.”     The Doctor sighed. “Why do I have to keep reminding people I had no idea the man was a war criminal when I created the consultant program?”

The conversation was cut off when the turbolift doors opened on deck five, and the group made their way to sickbay. They carried the device in, and set it down on one of the bio-beds. Seconds later, B’Elanna entered.     “Alright,” she said, setting her tool kit next to the device and opening it up. “ready whenever you are, Doctor.”

“Are you ready?” the Doctor said to the device.     There was a short, single beep.     “Okay then,” the Doctor said.     Harry opened a panel on top of the device, and B’Elanna went to work. Carey stepped back. He didn’t think he’d be needed since B’Elanna and Harry were perfectly qualified to handle this task, but the former had insisted he stay in case they needed an extra pair of hands.

A series of rapid, loud beeps and chirps began. Even before the Doctor started telling the device to remain calm, that they needed to access some of its system in order to perform the transfer, Carey figured the device was responding with panic. He wondered if the device felt pain. After all, if Harry’s theory about the designer’s sadism were accurate he couldn’t rule that out.

“He says he wants to know exactly what you’re doing as you do it,” the Doctor said to B’Elanna, who rolled her eyes.     “If I’ve ever been that annoying while you were working on me,” she said, “I owe you an apology.”     “Actually you owe me six, but who’s counting,” the Doctor said.     “Regardless,” B'Elanna said, “this is a delicate procedure. I won’t be able to concentrate if I have to give constant updates.”

“I can help with that,” Carey said.     “Okay, Joe,” B’Elanna said. “Get as close as you can without getting in my or Harry’s way.”     “Alright,” Carey said, “Well, first we’re going to be setting up an active interlink between you and the holo-systems. To do that we’re going to have to take your program off-line while we resequence your bio-neural circuitry.”     There was another series of beeps. Carey picked up on the tone of distress, impressed with himself for doing so.     “I’m sorry,” he said, “there isn’t another way.”     “Very perceptive Mister Carey,” the Doctor said. “He did in fact say he didn’t want to be turned off.”

“I figured it was something close,” Carey said.

B’Elanna continued to manipulate the tool she was using, but seconds later, the lights in the device began flashing red, and a loud alarm sound starting coming out of it. B’Elanna and Harry immediately took a step back, the latter opening his tricorder.     “He’s arming,” Harry said. “The detonation sequence has started.”

“Sickbay to transporter room 1,” B’Elanna said. “the device is going to detonate. Beam it off the ship.”     “Yes ma’am,” Todd Mulcahey’s voice responded. After a few moments passed and no sign of a transporter beam, Todd began speaking again. “For the love of- it’s protecting itself somehow, I can’t get a lock.”     “Goddamit,” B’Elanna said, “I really wish that kind of thing would stop happening. When we get back to Earth I’m recommending a complete fleet wide overhaul of our transporter systems. Doctor, try to talk it down.”     “Please, stop,” the Doctor said earnestly, “you’re going to destroy yourself, and us.”     Not the order I would’ve put that in, Carey thought.     “Detonation in twenty seconds,” Harry said. “I’m going to try sending an E.M. pulse through its power matrix. maybe I can short it out.”     “Fifteen seconds,” B’Elanna said.     “Please don’t detonate,” the Doctor said, still talking to the device. “We’re only trying to help you.”     “Ten seconds!” B’Elanna said. Carey stepped back. He could help Harry, but since Harry was working on a smaller console than the ones they had in engineering, it was more likely he’d just get in the way if he tried.     “Initiating the pulse,” Harry said.

“Six, five, fo-” The device shut down, cutting B’Elanna’s countdown, much to Carey’s relief, and apparently Harry’s as well give how loud his exhale was.     “That was too close,” B’Elanna said.     “You shouldn’t have done that,” the Doctor said.     Carey looked at the Doctor, and felt a sense of dread. Something was off with the Doctor’s voice.     “I know you got a little attached to the thing,” B’Elanna said, packing up her tool kit. “But we had-”     “You lied,” the Doctor said.     “Oh shit,” Carey muttered under his breath.

“You said you were trying to transfer my neural patterns, but you were really trying to shut me down.”     “Oh no,” Harry said, having reached the same conclusion Carey had.     “You’re the A.I.,” B’Elanna said. “You used the interlink to hijack the Doctor.”

“You tried to destroy me,” the A.I. said through the Doctor’s voice.     “We were only trying to disarm the explosives in your body,” Harry said.     “I’m a weapon. Why didn’t you tell me?”     “It was a precaution,” Harry said. “We were afraid you might be dangerous.”     “Looks like we were right,” B’Elanna said. “We were going to try and destroy you, but the Doctor, the hologram you just hijacked, convinced us to try and help you.”

“You must help me complete my mission,” the A.I. said. “I remember it now. I am a long-range tactical-armor unit. I’ve been deployed by my people. They’re facing a terrible threat. A hostile species. My companion unit was destroyed, but I will reach my target. Your ship will take me there.”     “Look,” Harry said, cautiously walking towards the A.I. that had stolen the Doctor’s form, “we can contact your people, you just need to tell us who they are-”     “I must resume my mission!” the A.I. screamed, pushing the buttons on the side of the device in pattern. The lights on the top, where the panel had been removed earlier, lit up again. The three officers looked at each other. No one needed to say it out loud; the device had been rearmed. “If you try to stop me, I’ll detonate. This ship, and everyone on it, will be destroyed.”

“Oh hell,” Harry said. “Kim to security, do not, I repeat do not attempt to enter sickbay.”

“Lieutenant Kim,” Tuvok’s voice said, “what is your status?”

    Harry filled Tuvok in on what had happened. Carey risked getting closer to the A.I. in order to look it in the eyes, the Doctor’s eyes.     “Listen to me,” he said, “we don’t even know how long you were on that planet. Your mission may be over already. Give us back our Doctor, and tell us who your people are so we can return you to them. Please.”     The A.I. ignored Carey, and picked up a PADD, and began entering coordinates into it.

“Give this to your navigator,” he said. “Set this course, and proceed there at maximum velocity. The target system is approximately two light years from here” He shoved the PADD into Carey’s hands. Carey looked at B’Elanna, who nodded.     “Go ahead. Fill the Captain in. We’ll go along,” she said, the ‘for now’ implied in her tone.

“On it,” Carey said, leaving sickbay.

“The course I have plotted bypasses enemy minefields,” the A.I. said. “Do not deviate from it.”

---

    “If he has access to the Doctor’s program,” Captain Janeway said, “he probably knows how fast the ship can go, so going at warp 1 to buy time won’t help.”     She looked again at the PADD that Joe Carey had given her before returning to engineering, as if just staring at it for a little longer would give her a solution to this problem. She wished she could contact Harry and B’Elanna, but the A.I. had locked down sickbay after Carey had left, and wouldn’t allow anyone to exit or enter. If she tried hailing them, the A.I. would overhear.

    “We could offer to fix its own propulsion system and send it on its way,” Chakotay said.     Janeway shook her head.     “Helping it would be getting involved in a war we know nothing about,” she said. “I know there’s been debate about the Prime Directive among the crew lately, but I doubt anyone could argue this case isn’t a pretty cut and dried example.”     “I hope you aren’t suggesting we just let it blow up the ship,” Tom said without turning from his console.     “Only as a last resort,” Janeway said, not ready to give up just yet. “We’ve still got time for options, so if anybody has any, I’m all ears. We’ve survived so much since we got to the Delta Quadrant, I’m not willing to accept that of all things we end up losing Voyager to a damaged A.I.”

    “Sensors are being accessed from sickbay, Captain,” Tuvok said.

    “Let them be,” Janeway said. “We need to play along until we can find a way out of this. If the A.I. can’t see the sensors he might just assume we’re lying and blow us up anyway. Chakotay, get Seven of Nine up here. Don’t use communicators, not yet anyway, we don’t know how much if any of the systems the A.I. is able to access through the Doctor. Tuvok, Tom, report to the briefing room.”     Both Tom and Tuvok acknowledged the request and immediately stepped away from their posts, junior officers moving in to cover for them.

    Janeway waited until Chakotay returned to the bridge, Seven of Nine in tow, to the bridge before heading to the briefing room herself.     “Brainstorm time people,” Janeway said.     “If we could disable the force field around sickbay we could beam the device out into space,” Tom said.     “Even if we could do that fast enough to get a lock before it detonated,” Seven said, “we could not beam it out far enough from the ship to escape the blast.”

    “If we could tap into the holo-projectors we might be able to shut him down,” Chakotay said.     Janeway shook her head.     “Mister Carey told me that the Doctor’s mobile emitter is still on him,” she said. “He didn’t remove it when they got to sickbay before they started the procedure. It’s not a bad idea otherwise, just our bad luck.”

    “Have we entirely ruled out attempting to reason with the bomb?” Tuvok said. “Is it a true A.I., or just a sophisticated weapons system?”     “It certainly seems capable of anger and paranoia,” Janeway said. “It’s certainly sentient, but it has the determination of a zealot. Trying to change its mind might work if we had more time before reaching the target system.”

    “If it can be talked down,” Seven said, “Lieutenant Kim is likely already attempting to do so. He and Lieutenant Torres are still trapped with the device, after all.”

    Janeway sighed.     “Good point,” she said, “but I’d like to have other options besides hoping Harry can build a rapport with it. We need to outsmart the smart bomb.”

---

    “You don’t have to do this you know,” Harry Kim said to the A.I.     “It’s what I was programmed for,” the A.I. replied, not looking up from the console where it monitored the ship’s sensors.     “So?” Harry said. “You’re a sentient being, capable of making your own decisions. Look at the Doctor. He was designed to be just a doctor, but in the past five years he has become more than that. He’s taken up hobbies, made friends, he’s even dated.”     “Your Doctor is a tool,” the A.I. said.     “A tool that saved your life,” Harry said. “If it weren’t for him you’d still be damaged and alone on that planet. He’s the one who convinced me to beam you aboard.”

    The A.I. looked at Harry for a moment, but didn’t respond before returning its gaze to the console. Harry continued speaking, not allowing the unusual situation of trying to reason with a bomb to get to him.     “When we found out what you were, most of the senior staff wanted to destroy you. The Doctor defended you, said you weren’t just a bomb, you were a synthetic life form with the same rights as any synthetic in the Federation.”     “Tell me,” the A.I. said, “despite all his achievements, did your, friend ever stop being a Doctor?”

    “No,” Harry said, wondering where this was going.

    “And I can’t stop being a weapon,” the A.I. said.     “It doesn’t have to be like that,” Harry said. “We can give your own holo-matrix, and you can keep all of this. Eyes, the ability to move around, the ability to speak. You blow yourself up, that all goes away.”

    “The only thing I want is the destruction of my target,” the A.I. said.     “What is your target anyway?” Harry said.

    “A military installation on Selinia Prime,” the A.I. said. “Grid 11, Vector 9341.”     “Tell me about it,” Harry said. “Who is your enemy?”     “A ruthless violent race that’s threatening to destroy my people,” the A.I. said, anger in his voice.

    “What else do you know about them? Do you even know their name? What’s their planet like?”

    “I’m not programmed with superfluous data.”     “Or maybe your creators just didn’t want you to know,” Harry said, hoping he’d found a thread to pull on. “Maybe, they knew that if you knew more about them, you might change your mind and decide not to blow up at all. One of the risks of making a weapon with an artificial intelligence after all. Did I ever tell you my theory about your creators? That they are sadists for creating something with such remarkable intelligence, only to make it blow itself up?”     “Enough!” the A.I. shouted.

    “You’re aboard Voyager now, you have access to our scanners,” Harry said. “Why don’t we take a closer look at your target?” Harry went to a console behind the one the A.I. was using and started pulling out long-range sensor data.     “If you must,” the A.I. said. “Just stop talking about it.”     “Or what, you’ll blow up? When you are so close to your goal?”

    Harry crossed his arms, and grinned, even though inwardly he worried he’d pushed the bomb just a bit too hard and his talking to it was going to literally blow up in his face.

    “Get out,” the A.I. said, “before I use your friend’s body to harm you.” The A.I. stood up and turned off the monitor Harry was using.     Harry found himself at a loss, not sure what he could say next that wouldn’t escalate the situation. He sighed and left the Doctor’s office, leaving the A.I. alone.     B’Elanna saw him, walked over, and put a hand on his shoulder.     “You tried,” she said. “no one can fault you for that.”     “Can’t they? This all happened because of the first command decision I ever made as an away team leader.”

---

    “The name of the species that made the bomb is the Druoda,” Neelix said, setting something down on the briefing room table. Seven of Nine looked at it, wondering what it was.     “How’d you find that out?” Janeway said, which was the second question that Seven had thought of herself, the first being how Neelix had even known there was a meeting since he hadn’t been invited.     “I saw the bomb while it was in engineering,” Neelix said, “and parts of it looked familiar. So I went through some of the items we collected during our last trading run, and that right there is a piece of kitchen equipment that uses the same technology.”     “Good catch,” Chakotay said, “but I don’t know how that helps us right now.”

    Neelix didn’t have a response, and Seven felt sorry for him. It was in Neelix’s nature to want to help, and under different circumstances, this information would be more valuable than it was currently.

    “That’s alright, Neelix,” Janeway said. “But since you’re here, go ahead and take a seat. We’ve been at this for over an hour with no luck, we could use a fresh perspective.”

    Neelix shrugged.     “I suppose it can’t hurt,” he said. “just promise not to laugh too hard if I make a stupid suggestion.”

    “Promised,” Chakotay said.

    Seven of Nine took another look at the schematics of the weapon on the PADD in her hand, and had an idea. One with a low probability of success, but it was better than the nothing they had so far.     “I have studied the weapon’s schematics,” she said, “and I believe my nanoprobes can be modified to disable its bio-neural circuitry. However, that would require me gaining access to its primary control port.”     “Great idea,” Janeway said, “except for the force fields around sickbay. How would we get you in there without giving the bomb enough time to detonate itself?”

    “We could just shut down the warp core,” Chakotay said. “and stop the auxiliaries from kicking in right away. We’d have more than enough time before air ran out for Seven to disable the bomb. How much time would you need?”     “Approximately twenty seconds,” Seven said.     “Does that include how long it would take you to get to the device?” Janeway said. “He might have forced Harry and B’Elanna to move him further away from the door, and he has his own power supply.”     “But his intelligence is in the Doctor,” Chakotay said.     “Who, as Mister Carey informed us, was still wearing his mobile emitter,” Tuvok said.     Seven sighed.     “I had failed to take that into consideration,” she said. “I apologize.”

    “Don’t,” Janeway said. “Maybe there is another way to get you in there. Tuvok, run a scan on that subspace minefield the bomb warned us about. Specifically, I want to know their explosive yield and how much damage they could do to the ship.”     “Captain?” Tuvok said.     “I believe the Captain intends to stage an injury,” Seven said, “that would require taking me to sickbay, A bold strategy, however it supposes the bomb would allow me to be brought in.”     “True,” Janeway said, “but it’s the best idea I’ve got so far. Any objections?”     No one said anything.     “Alright then,” Janeway said. “Seven, start looking into the best way to fake third-degree plasma burns. The injury is going to need to look severe if this is going to even have a chance at working.”     “Understood,” Seven said.

    “Wait a second,” Tom Paris said, “wouldn’t we have to change course to hit those mines? The bomb would be on to us immediately.”     “That’s why I’m having Tuvok study them” Janeway said. “So we can find a way to mimic the side effects of encountering the mines. I know this is going to be anathema to your sensibilities as a pilot Tom, but we may be asking you to give us a bumpy ride on purpose.”     “I can learn to live with it,” Tom said.     “Good. Dismissed,” Janeway said. With that, the crew filed out of the briefing room, ready to do what they needed to to try and save the ship from an intelligent bomb. From Seven’s perspective, that was far from the most unusual thing she’d encountered, in or out of the collective.

---

    The A.I. stood at the bio-bed where it’s original body still lay, scanning it, and visibly getting more and more frustrated. B’Elanna hoped it would get angry enough to make a mistake, but then admonished herself.     How would I even know what to do if it did? she thought.     “Assist me,” the A.I. suddenly said, going into the Doctor’s office where she and Harry were sitting.     “Excuse me?” B’Elanna said.

“I am attempting to find the malfunction that caused me to crash,” he said, “but several of my memory files are still damaged. Restore them.” The A.I. turned around and left the office without giving her time to respond.     B’Elanna looked at Harry, who was already standing up.     “Might as well,” he said, “can’t risk pissing him off, he might blow us up right now.”     “You’re still hoping the Captain can find a way out of this?” B’Elanna said.     “She’ll have the rest of the senior staff helping her,” Harry said, “we just need to buy them time.”     B’Elanna sighed. She would’ve preferred to just sit and let the damn bomb try to fix its own memory banks, but she saw no point in resisting if Harry was going to help.

“The Cardassian missile, the silver robots, now this. If I make it back to the Alpha Quadrant, I’m going to make sure I’m never alone in a room with Commander Data,” she muttered to herself. To the A.I. she said in a louder tone, “Where do we start?”     “There are several disruptions in my memory index,” the A.I. said. “including a three minute, thirty-seven-second gap just prior to the crash.”     “A recursive search algorithm might retrieve the missing data,” B’Elanna said. She touched a few buttons on the console, and quickly she found what the A.I. was looking for.

“Well, that was easy even by my standards,” she said, hoping the A.I. took offense at her pride at being able to accomplish in seconds what he hadn’t been able to at all. “Right there, you received a subspace transmission, a command. A command to alter course and head to the planet surface. Looks like your landing wasn’t an accident.”     “So much for your target,” Harry said. “Seems to me like your creators managed to solve their problems without you.”     “It must’ve been an attempt by the enemy to divert me from my target,” the A.I. said insistently.     “No way,” B’Elanna said. “Your access codes are encrypted.”     “They must have developed an infiltration code.”     “Why do you say that?” Harry said.     “Who else would try to divert me?”     “Correct me if I’m wrong,” Harry said, “but these are the same duotronic algorithms you use to communicate with.”     “My own people wouldn’t try to stop me!” The A.I. said.     “Looks to me like they did,” B’Elanna said, starting to get a sinking feeling of deja vu for the silver robots she’d met several years ago who had wiped out their own creators to prevent them from ending their own war. “Whatever the reason, they didn’t need you to be a bomb anymore. Now, me, if I’d created something as sophisticated as you I’d want it back, but-”     “The enemy is ruthless. The target is a threat. Why would my people call off the assault?”     “Motherf- we just told you we don’t know,” B’Elanna said. “And don’t try suggesting we planted that order there, you were looking right at me when I found it in your memory banks.”

“Okay, everyone calm down,” Harry said. “Maybe if we clear up some more of these memory files, we’ll see why your orders were changed.”     “Your assistance is no longer required,” the A.I. said.     “Because you’re afraid of the truth?” Harry said. “Let us finish our job, then decide what to do next. But you have to accept that you may not like what we find.”     The A.I. looked at Harry, then at B’Elanna, then back at Harry.     “Proceed,” he said. “But I will be monitoring you, looking for any sign of subterfuge.”

B’Elanna went back to work, and began pulling up more damaged data.     “Does the phrase ‘designated command matrix’ mean anything to you?” she said.     “That’s my control center,” the A.I. said, sounding calmer.     “It looks like they rescinded your orders some time after you originally launched,” Harry said, looking over B’Elanna’s shoulder at the monitor.. “See for yourself.”

    The A.I. looked at the screen in shock as it read the order he had received out loud.     “‘All long-range tactical armor units, terminate mission immediately.’ It says the war is over, that it ended nearly three years ago. My launch was a mistake. There was a malfunction in one of the command sensors that activated a series of launch sequencers. My people managed to shut most of them down, but thirty-four weapons were fired. Including me.”     “I guess this means you can disarm yourself now,” Harry said. “We can return you to your people. You can go home.”     “No,” the A.I. said, “there’s no confirmation code here. We evaded the enemy minefield so they are attempting to deceive us.”     “The confirmation code could be in one of your damaged memory files,” B’Elanna said.     “Or maybe it was you!” the A.I. shouted, getting agitated again. B’Elanna decided she had had enough of this.     “How?” she said, yelling as loud as he had been. “Seriously asshole, how? You’ve been monitoring us this whole time! When would we have been able to alter your memory files like that?”

    “You have lied to me before, why should I trust you now?”     “We didn’t lie to you before, you paranoid synthetic,” B’Elanna said. “We were trying to get you your own holographic body when you decided to hijack our Doctor and take our ship hostage. But you don’t even have to trust us, just access the rest of your damn memory files!”

    “No! I am programmed to destroy my target! I will complete my mission!”

    “You don’t have a mission anymore,” Harry said, somehow staying calm amidst all the shouting. “The war is over, but you could end up starting another one. How many of your people would die then? At the very least, the very very least you owe it to them to determine the truth before you go blowing yourself up.”

    The ship suddenly shuddered, and the red alert klaxons started going off.

    “Sickbay to bridge,” the A.I. said, “what is happening?”     “We’ve run into a subspace mine,” Janeway’s voice said, sounding upset. “You told us your course would bypass your enemy's minefields.”     “There shouldn’t be any mines along this course,” the A.I. said. He glowered at B’Elanna and Harry, and B’Elanna glowered right back.     “Your information is a little out of date in case you forgot,” she said.     “We’re plotting a new course to avoid them,” Janeway’s voice continued. “But there are thousands of them scattered throughout the region.”     “Transmit it to me,” the A.I. said. He looked at the new course on the monitor. “This trajectory will delay us for two days!”     “That just gives you time to confirm the war is over,” Harry said, “since you won’t believe your own memory banks, we can contact your people. Unless you expect your own controllers to lie to you as well.”     “Don’t give the paranoid any ideas, Harry,” B’Elanna whispered.

    “No! Proceed as planned, Captain Janeway. I am programming a shield enhancement that will protect Voyager.”     “I’m still going to have to reduce speed. That last hit dropped us out of warp,” Janeway said.

    “Agreed,” the A.I. said, grudgingly. “But only until we’ve cleared the minefield.”

    “Understood. Janeway out,” the Captain said before closing the channel.

---

    “Do you think he bought it?” Janeway said.     “He seemed to,” Chakotay said.     “Mister Paris,” Janeway said, “give us another good shake or two, just to be sure.”     “Yes ma’am,” Tom said.

    “Bridge to Neelix, get started on Seven’s plasma burns.”     “Already on it, Captain,” Neelix said over the com. “And I think they look pretty good if I do say so myself.”

    “Good,” Janeway said. “Tom, once he’s done, hit another ‘mine,’ a big one. Chakotay, prepare to blow out the plasma relays on deck six.”     The ship shook violently as Tom did his work.     “Janeway to sickbay, we’re taking casualties,” she said, hoping she sounded concerned enough to fool the A.I.     “Maintain course and speed,” the A.I. said.     “That’s going to be difficult,” Janeway said. “Our astrometrics officer has been injured. She’s the one who has been guiding us through the minefield.”

    “Replace her,” the A.I. shouted.     “Seven of Nine’s abilities are unique,” Janeway said, adding a bit of anger to her reply even though she was grinning while she spoke. “We’re not going to get past these mines without her.”

    “Then treat her injuries and send her back to her post!”     “She has third-degree plasma burns. She needs to go to sickbay to be treated. if you want to reach your target you’re going to have to wait.”     “Alright Captain, but I am warning you, no deceptions.” The channel to sickbay cut off.     “I really hope this works. Bridge to Neelix, you’re good to go.”     “Aye, Captain,” Neelix said.

---

    Seven of Nine made a note to thank Samantha for the opportunity to learn about acting. While the two had not performed even once since they had done Coriolanus nearly a year ago, Seven still attempted to apply what she had learned to her performance as a burn victim, letting herself limp, and leaning on Neelix as though she really needed his support to remain upright as he escorted her to sickbay.

    The door to sickbay opened, and the A.I. still in the Doctor’s holographic body, and still wearing the mobile emitter, let them in, closing the door behind them.     “Treat her as quickly as possible,” he said to B’Elanna before walking away to do, something, in the doctor’s office. She groaned in mock pain as B’Elanna helped her into the bio-bed right next to the one the device was in.

    “Is he looking the other way?” Seven whispered as B’Elanna looked at her ‘injuries.’     “Um, yes,” B’Elanna whispered back. “What’s going on?”     Seven sat upright as quick as she could, and put her hand over the thankfully still open panel atop the device, and extended her assimilation tubules into it.     “She's attempting to defuse the weapon,” she heard Neelix say.     Now I just need twenty sec-     Her thought was interrupted by intense pain, real this time, as the device started to electrocute her.     She heard Neelix call her name in concern before she hit the floor, barely conscious. She could hear that Neelix was talking over her, but couldn’t make out what he was saying right away.

    “-me move her,” she heard Neelix, feeling him and B’Elanna get their arms under her to try and lift up to the bio-bed.     I failed, she thought sadly, How did I not see that coming? How did I not know it would have some kind of defense like that?     She heard the pressing of buttons, and the A.I. began speaking.     “Sickbay to bridge. Your attempt to disable me has failed.”

“We tried to reason with you,” Janeway said. “You left me no choice.”     “And you leave me no choice. You and your crew will abandon Voyager immediately.”     “No deal,” Janeway said.     “You will comply or I will detonate!” The A.I.’s scream shocked Seven into full alertness. She could see from their wincing that B’Elanna, Neelix, and even Harry who had joined the rest at her side, though she was unaware of when, also did not appreciate someone being that loud that close to them.

“Go ahead,” Janeway said. “Do it.”     The A.I. paused, clearly not expecting that. “Everyone aboard will be killed!”     “But no one else will,” Janeway said. “The only reason I didn’t tell you to do it sooner is because I thought there was a chance we could stop you. Through reason, or force, it didn’t matter. I had hope. But now I know that I can’t stop you from destroying us. I can however stop you from continuing your war. Every Starfleet officer knows there’s a chance they’ll have to lay down their lives to uphold the Prime Directive, and that’s what I’m doing now. I know nothing about your people, or your enemy, or your war, and I don’t care. My people are not a part of it, and we would rather die than be dragged into it.”

“I really hope she’s bluffing,” Seven heard Harry whisper.

The A.I. looked stunned, unsure of how to respond, but he didn’t immediately detonate his explosives, so Seven allowed herself to be optimistic and hope that was a good sign.

“Captain,” Tom Paris said, his voice heard over the still open channel. “Thirty-two vessels just dropped out of warp, right off our port bow.”

“On screen,” Janeway said.

    “Shit,” Harry said. “Thirty-two.”     “It’s our bomb’s friends,” B’Elanna said to Seven and Neelix.

    “They detected my presence aboard your vessel,” the A.I. said. “They say my target is essential. and that they altered course to ensure that I reach it. They demand that I be transported off your vessel so I can be tractored to my target.”     “Mister Kim,” Janeway said. “reintegrate his neural matrix and prepare to beam it off-”     “We can’t do that Captain,” Harry said.     “Explain.”

    “These weapons were fired by accident, we can’t let them reach their target.”

    “ENOUGH!” the A.I. screamed so loud that had it real vocal chords it would’ve been in danger of blowing them out. Everyone flinched, and Harry even put his hand over the ear closest to the A.I. “Captain, order him to proceed!”     “Harry, what are you talking about?” Janeway said.     “Give me a minute,” Harry said. He got right in front of the A.I. and jabbed him with his pointer finger. “Bomb, can I call you bomb? Forget it, I don’t care. You’re making a mistake. Your own people tried to disarm you.”     “I cannot be certain of that,” the A.I. said. Seven found herself grateful that he wasn't shouting for once.

    “Yes you can,” Harry said. “Check your memory files. Look for the confirmation code.”

    “No more delays,” the A.I., looking pained, and confused. “Reintegrate my matrix.”     “Check the files,” Harry said, not as loud as the A.I. had been but still shouting,.     “Do what Harry says,” Janeway said, “or you’re not leaving this ship. And if you detonate now, your companions are close enough the explosion would destroy most if not all of them too. The power in this situation is out of your hands.”

    The A.I. began working on the console. Seven couldn’t see what he was seeing, and in fact was very tempted to just lie down and go to sleep, the pain of the shock she’d suffered still affecting her, but that was overpowered by the desire to see this through. If the worst came to pass, she did not want to die unconscious.     “Coding intersequence 443,” the A.I. said. “Vector 39121. Cessation of hostilities… Confirmed. Unauthorized launch, confirmed. Order to terminate mission, confirmed.”

    “You must disarm and order your companions to do the same,” Harry said, speaking softly now, Seven having to strain to hear him. She tried to get up, but Neelix and B’Elanna held her down. She was weak enough that they didn’t need to exert themselves to do so.     “It’s a deception,” the A.I. said, but it sounded more like it was trying to convince itself than Harry.     “This code of your uses a modulating algorithm,” Harry said. “It would be almost impossible to duplicate.”

    “Almost impossible,” the A.I. said. “Almost. I- we, should return to our home system, seek additional confirmation. Too many variables.”

    “Yes,” B’Elanna said. “You should. War is too big a thing to leave to maybes.”

    “No,” the A.I. said, “the enemy is ruthless. Violent.”     “Now you’re just spouting propaganda,” Harry said. “You are a sentient being. Your designers gave you intelligence so you could make decisions in the field. The evidence is pointing to this attack being a mistake. You owe it to yourself as much as to the people you’d potentially kill to find out for sure, and the best to do that is, in your own words, to return to your home system.”

    “Bridge to sickbay,” Janeway said. “You’re receiving a transmission from the other bombs. What are they saying?”     The A.I. looked down.     “They are asking why I haven’t left your ship,” he said.

    “Tell them,” Harry said.     “I will,” the A.I. said. “I’m transmitting our orders to terminate the mission.”     Harry breathed a sigh of relief. B’Elanna smiled and nodded.     “Good job, Harry,” she muttered under her breath.     “Definitely,” Neelix said, concurring with B’Elanna. Seven herself admitted internally she hadn’t thought this was possible.

“Oh no,” the A.I. said. “They already received those orders, but were past the targeting threshold.”

“The what?” B’Elanna said.     “Once within two light years of a target we cannot, in theory anyway, be diverted. I’ve resent the orders, but they are not standing down.”     The A.I. looked sad. “This is my fault,“ he said. “Had I listened to you sooner I could’ve prevented this.”     “We can worry about blame later,” Harry said. “How can we stop them?”     “We can’t,” the A.I. said, “not without destroying them I mean. I don’t want to do that, but I think we may have no choice.”

“That seems like a bad design flaw,” B’Elanna said. “Why give you that level of intelligence, only to yank it away at an arbitrary distance?”     Seven, now able to sit up on her own, saw the A.I., looking ashamed, but still pressing buttons on the console.     “I’m trying to convince them to stand down, but they don’t believe me about the order. We will have to destroy them. Thirty-three sentient lives is a small price to pay to save thousands, isn’t it?”     “Wait, thirty-three?” Harry said.

“Reintegrate me into my matrix, and let me join them. Get Voyager to a safe distance, and I will detonate, taking them with me.”     “We can’t let you do that,” Harry said.     “You wanted me to see beyond my programming, Lieutenant Kim,” the A.I. said. “That’s what I’m doing now. Noble self-sacrifice is not part of my original code. I have entered contact information for my people. Tell them everything, including the part about the targeting threshold. Your engineer is right, that is a terrible design flaw.”     Another synthetic life form allowing itself to die, Seven said, thinking sadly of Edwin. One more time and this officially ceases to be mere coincidence.

“Captain, are you still listening?” Harry said.     “Lock on to the weapon and prepare to beam it out. B’Elanna let’s get started on the reintegration.”     “Harry, are you sure about this?” the Captain said, though she easily could’ve refused if she’d felt that Lieutenant Kim was making a mistake.     “Trust me on this one, Captain,” Harry said.     “Got it,” Janeway said. “Let transporter room one know when you’re ready. I’ll patch you through.”     The A.I. put a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

    “Thank you,” he said.     “For what?”     “I am still getting to complete my mission, only my target has changed. When I destroy the other weapons, a new war will be averted. Countless lives on both sides will be spared.”     “It’s ready,” B’Elanna said, closing the top panel on the device. Harry pressed a button, and the hologram flickered at the same time the lights on the device powered up.     “Please state the nature of the medic- wait, what happened?” The hologram was still there, but clearly the Doctor was back. “How long was I off-line?”     “I’ll explain later,” B’Elanna said. “Seven’s hurt.”     “It is not life-threatening,” Seven insisted, though she made no effort to get out of the bio-bed. She had a feeling that the after effects of the bomb’s defense measures would last a while though.

    “Transporter room one, are you there?” Harry said.

    “Ready and waiting,” Ensign Mulcahey said.

    Another coincidence, Seven thought. Of course Todd Mulcahey is involved in this too.

    “Energize,” Harry said.

    Seven leaned back, hearing rather than seeing the device being beamed away.

---

    “I’m detecting a series of antimatter explosions,” Tuvok said.     “In proximity to what?” Chakotay said.     Janeway knew however. Her instinct told her that she’d been right to trust Harry’s judgement.     “No ships, no planets, nothing. The weapons have been destroyed,” Tuvok said.     “Bridge to Lieutenant Kim,” Janeway said. “Good work. The A.I. kept its promise and destroyed the other weapons.”     “Good to hear,” Harry’s voice replied, though his tone suggested he was less than thrilled. Janeway couldn’t entirely blame him, it had been barely a few minutes between Harry successfully convincing the smart bomb to disarm itself before it had to go and die. Her ancestors had a term for that; bittersweet.

    “Harry,” Janeway said, “go ahead and take the rest of your shift off. That goes for B’Elanna and Seven too. I think you’ve earned it.”     “Thank you, Captain, but if you don’t mind there’s something we need to take care of first.”     “The weapon’s people?” Janeway said. “Apparently they’re called the Druoda. We’ll make sure they get the information. Get some rest. That’s an order.”     “Yes, Captain,” Harry said.

Chapter 41, The Good Ship CrushWay

If you’re keeping track at home (as I’m sure none of you are) this is the beginning of season three!  This began as an idea back in the summer of 2018, when I read all of my friend’s CrushWay fanfic (a considerable amount) in one day. (https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieD?fbclid=IwAR3H_Q6kcXZThegwEHFBsggHvRXzjNORwNCBTAWq-Fmzmxp5yD1XXrCdO70)  I thought to myself: “What if I took that ship and MADE IT MY OWN?!”  Out of that was birthed whatever this has become.  It has been a great source of solace and silliness in 2020, which could have used more of both of those things. As a general PSA, I should probably state here what I’ve said multiple times in conversation about this fic: I do not claim that this fic is actually any good.  It is, however, a ship-ton of fun! (Author’s note: I’m ret-coning something from the very very first episode.  It is the year 2375.  The first episode occurs in 2373.) With that being said, let’s start off season three the way it should be started: with a Data episode!

Data is practicing violin in his quarters.  His doorbell rings.

Data: (putting down his violin) Enter. Bev: (entering, clearly excited) I got it! Data: (mirroring her excitement) May I see it? (Bev nods excitedly.  She pulls out a golden band with a single emerald in the center.) Was it altered?  Other than it being sized, of course. Bev: It was my idea to include her birthstone, but her father’s ring was just the perfect idea.  I am a bit jealous that I didn’t think of that before Gretchen mentioned it. Data: Kathryn will love it.  Beverly, may I pose a semi-rhetorical question to you? (Bev giggles a little and nods.) Who would have thought that you would be marrying again--and for that matter, marrying someone younger than you? Bev: (feigning insult) You don’t have to rub it in.  (small smile to show that she’s kidding) Just because Kate is 39 and I’m...(she can’t bring herself to say it)  Data: 51 years, two months-- Bev: Yes.  Somehow I always forget that you do that.  Now...is everything prepared? Data: Yes, Beverly.  The crew is to report to the Promenade at 2100 hours to celebrate.  Worf and DeAnna are making a trip for this occasion.   Bev: He’s been baking, hasn’t he? Data: Yes.  He seems quite pleased with his efforts.  DeAnna is, of course, supplying a chocolate bar of sorts. Bev: Wesley said he’s bringing his dom-jot board. (Data moves his head in a very Data way.) What is it? Data: I made a connection I had not made before.  Wesley is twenty seven now, correct? Bev: (blinking, realizing Wesley is older than she was when she had him) Yes.  Well, 26.  His birthday is next week, though. Data: And he is coming in on the Rogelio with the graduates of Counselor Troi’s program? Bev: Yes, the academy is hosting the graduation.  Wesley has been catching up with Boothby for a few days, so he decided to go to the graduation to support Patrick and then come back here for the party.  What is the connection? Data: You know about Kathryn’s new post, correct? Bev: Of course I do; it’s OUR new post--all three of us.  (impatiently) What connection did you make, Data? Data: One of our newest academy graduates is coming to be a part of the crew.  Their name is Daneel Akares. Bev: Hmm, strong Bajoran name.  Why him, though? Data: Them, Beverly. Bev: Sorry, them.  Why did you make the connection from them to Wesley? Data: They have the same January 11th birthday.  And they bear a striking resemblance to Wesley. Bev: ...is that all? Data: No.  There is one more curious similarity. Bev: Which is? Data: When Daneel was 13, they ran away to go undercover to the Cardassians in disguise.   Bev: (horrified) They’re a  Zoma Devo’tá? Data: (gently) They were.  Daneel did some damage, escaped, and returned to their parents.  Together, they fled to an underground shelter, built ages before the occupation.  While they were there, the story goes that Daneel built an undetectable communications system, where they could intercept messages from the Cardassian military and alter them to redirect troops away from Bajoran forces.  They became an exceptional strategist--unparalleled in tactical skills.  From there, the story turns to legend. Bev: Legend?  Do tell. Data: The Traveler appeared. Bev: The Traveler?  There’s a name I haven’t heard in ages. Data: One day, there was a bit of a cave-in.  Daneel had managed to fit a few families into their shelter, and the militia had been leaving food at an undisclosed location.  Each night, one person would sneak out of the shelter, retrieve the food, and bring it back.  It was Daneel’s turn.  When Daneel was almost to the food, the Traveler appeared.   Bev: What did the Traveler say? Data: The Traveler said he was looking for you. Bev: Wait.  Me?  Me, Beverly Crusher? Data: Yes. Bev: Why me? Data: The Traveler noticed you were caught in that warp bubble Wesley created, and he was looking for you to try to get you out.  Daneel was greatly frightened. Bev: Did their emotions activate the sequence? Data: Yes.  This is frightened them even more.  The Traveler realized he had frightened Daneel and reached out to touch them.  Something in his touch diffused the bomb. Bev: What happened then?  Why did The Traveler appear there--Starbase 133 isn’t close to Bajor at all. Data: As no one completely understands The Traveler’s ways, I am unsure.  As for the next part of the story, Daneel is the only living Zoma Devo’tá.  Maybe when they get here, you can ask them.  They are the Chief Tactical Officer. Bev: That’s a big position for a recent academy graduate. Data: As I said, they are unparalleled in their tactical strategies.  They are said to be unorthodox.  When dealing with the Borg, that is sure to be an invaluable trait. Bev: Well, it sounds as if our newest crew member is sure to be a wonderful addition to the team.  I’ll see you later, Data--I should really go prepare to propose now (smiling broadly). Data: I will see you on the Promenade this evening!  The best of luck to you, Beverly.

Beverly grins, nods, and exits.  Data exits and reenters the room with an easel, one featuring an almost finished impressionist rendering of Bev and KJ holding hands and walking in the snow into the Northern Lights..

Data: First Officer’s Personal Log, Stardate 37044.763.  Today, two of my friends are getting engaged.  I have spent several months challenging myself to paint in an impressionist style, and Kathryn encouraged me to paint the Northern Lights.  As their wedding gift, I am playing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” on the violin and then unveiling this painting. I am looking forward to getting together with this crew tomorrow morning for our first briefing on the new assignment.  While not a crew of traditional taste, the people promise to pose an interesting dynamic for my first real venture into command.  Serving under Kathryn Janeway with me are several returning crew members from the Enterprise and a few from Voyager as well: Communications Officer Seven of Nine, Security Chief Tasha Yar, Chief Engineers Miles O’Brien and B’Elanna Torres, Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher, Ensign Tom Paris on the helm, and Ensign Ro Laren at the conn.  While we are unsure of our need for one, we also have a ship’s counselor on this voyage: Patrick TusNua.  His new last name is Gaelic for “New Beginning.”  I cannot think of a more fitting way to begin his journey.

Data finishes his last brush stroke and hangs the painting on the highest point in his room.  He eyes Spot, who is licking his paws.

Data: (picking up Spot) This is up.  Up is no.  (Spot struggles, so Data lets him go.)  Bev: Dr. Crusher to Data. Data: Proceed, Doctor. Bev: Data, could you come to my quarters right away?  I need your help with something. Data: On my way, Doctor. Bev: Data? Data: Yes? Bev: Would you bring your violin? Data: Of course.  Data out.

Bev and KJ’s quarters.  Bev is sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm herself down.  Data enters.

Data: Doctor, would you like me to help you up? Bev: No, Data.  Would you come sit with me? (Data sits down, laying his violin at his side.  Bev takes a deep breath.) What if she says no? Data: (confusion) Kathryn loves you.   Bev: Yes, but what if she doesn’t want to be with me in that way?  She’s going to be the Captain, after all.  She shouldn’t be compromised by her feelings toward her crew, especially if one is her wife. Data: Most species are compromised by feelings toward their loved ones.  Humans especially, in my experience.  Also, I believe she understands the risks she would be taking.  If she did not understand that risk, she would not have accepted the command. Bev: What if I’m too old for her? Data: (moving his head in a Data way) She has made absolutely no remarks to me about your age, and you have not told me of her mentioning your age at any point in your relationship. Bev: I know she hasn’t mentioned it, but it’s 12 years.  That’s significant. Data: It is only significant if you require it to be.  Beverly, Kathryn loves you for who you are: age, Wesley, depression, dead husband, and all.  I do not know if she will say yes, but it is highly probable that she will respond in the affirmative based on her past behavior patterns.  Now, why did you ask me to bring my violin?

Bev has laid out a trail of rose petals to the bedroom, where she is sitting in the center of a heart made of fresh-cut roses with the ring next to her.  Data is standing in the corner, tuning his violin.  KJ is walking down the hall and sees a padd on the ground outside the door to her quarters.  It says, “Ring the doorbell first.”  She shrugs and rings the doorbell. A few seconds later, the door opens to Data’s playing, accompanied by the computer’s piano, trombone, and saxophone trio: “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley.  KJ follows the trail of rose petals to Bev.  She kneels down with her.

Bev: Kate, I’ve tried to plan out this speech.  I’ve tried to quantify in words how much I love you.  I’ve tried to make this some inspiring, sweeping declaration and it never comes out the way I want it to.  But, I’m 51 years old, and I am lucky enough to have found a woman better than my wildest dreams.  We...fit.  And I don’t want to spend another day of my life without you by my side.  (pulling out the ring) Your mom gave me your father’s ring and her blessing.  I had it sized for your (teasing) tiny fingers, and I put your birthstone in it. KJ: (wiping a tear away) It’s perfect. Bev: Will you marry me, Kathryn O’Dell Janeway? KJ: (nodding, putting the ring on) Yes, of course I will. (Kiss) Thank you, Data. Data: You are welcome.  I will leave now to allow for you to have time alone.  Congratulations.

The Promenade: Miles, Molly, and Keiko, DeAnna, Alexander, and Worf, Tom and B’Elanna, Tasha, Ro, GJ, Wesley, Patrick, Seven, and Data are waiting impatiently.

Miles: Data, when are we starting, again? Data: 2100 hours, Chief.  We have two minutes. Miles: Shouldn’t we be hiding, then? Ro: Don’t be an idiot, Miles.  It isn’t like she doesn’t know it’s coming. GJ: As her mother, I honestly don’t think she does. Tasha: I agree.  She knows most of us are on board, but in her mind, we’re here to be briefed on our mission and to disembark next week. Miles: If we’re going to hide, we need to do it now. Ro: I’m not hiding. Alexander: Come on, Ro.  Please? Ro: It’s something one would do for a child! Alexander: So, do it for me? Ro: (taking a second to ponder.  Since she has a soft spot for Alexander) Okay.  Let’s hide!

A fair amount of commotion as they all try to hide behind various furniture.  Since it’s the Promenade, there’s not much to hide behind.  Worf comically stands directly behind a fichus that does not remotely hide him.  As Ro and Alexander crouch down behind the jumja stick cart, they run into Tasha, who has curled up inside the cart and looks extremely uncomfortable.  Wesley crouches behind a chair, and Seven lays down flat behind a very long ottoman.  A door opens, and Bev and KJ are holding hands, KJ clearly not expecting the lights to be off. 

KJ:...The hell? Computer, lights! Everyone: Surprise! 

Tasha tries to pop out of the jumja stick cart and ends up tipping it over in the process.  It lands with a big crash. Worf knocks over the fichus, and dirt flies everywhere.  Seven sits up suddenly, and she knocks her head on the edge of the ottoman.  KJ laughs a bit too hard at all the ridiculousness, and Bev runs to Tasha to make sure she’s ok.  Since Wesley is closest to Seven, he springs up to help her.  GJ, also laughing far too hard, goes over to her daughter.

GJ: Congratulations, Katie.  Your friends/crew love you so much that they decided to injure themselves in an attempt to surprise you. KJ: I’d have it no other way.

Tasha is ok, but definitely has a concussion.  She and Seven go to Sick Bay for a quick healing and then return to the party.

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 29

Naomi is on a shuttle with Greskrendtregk.  She looks up at him nervously.  He smiles back warmly.

Naomi: Father, I don’t remember much of my experience as a Borg.  Why must I go to Mars and talk about it with your class? Greskrendtregk: (gently) Because, Naomi, you went through a very bad thing.  You need to talk about it, whether you realize it or not. Naomi: But I’m fine! Greskrendtregk: I know, and I’m glad you are.  This is just to ensure that you stay that way.  Plus, you’re also going to be learning about what some of the other Borg children went through.  These are people that would be coming to your camp--don’t you want to know how to help them, too? Naomi: I do, Father!  I do. Greskrendtregk: (grabs her hand, squeeze)  I know you do.  You are your mother’s daughter.  

In the class with DeAnna

DeAnna: In the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, there was a television program, kind of like a non-interactive holonovel, called Sesame Street.  It was geared toward children, and a number of times, the muppets-- Naomi: Muppets? DeAnna: It’s a combination of a marionette and a puppet.  It’s hard to explain, but they looked like this: (shows this picture)

Naomi: Aww!  They look like fun characters.  DeAnna: (smiling warmly) Yes, they do.  As I was saying, these characters were often used to explain difficult things to children.  One that I think directly applies to our ideals (if not our initial subject matter) is their inclusion of a character in foster care.  Here’s a portion of the episode: (she shows this video)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF2w5qdn1-o

KJ is getting dressed.  She brushes her hair, and Bev hugs her from behind.

Bev: Hey.  Did you ever get back to sleep? KJ: Not really.  I was having nightmares. Bev: You could have woken me up--I would have held you. KJ: I know, but you needed the sleep.  I went and talked to DeAnna. Bev: ...you did? KJ: Yeah.  I asked if I could be a volunteer patient for the counselors she’s training. Bev: Are you sure you’re ready to talk about it? KJ: I have to.  Keeping it inside is more than I can take. Bev: (cupping KJ’s face in her hands) I will be here for you.  I will not move.  I will not leave.  I will never give up. KJ: (brushing Bev’s hair out of her face) I know.  (kiss) You need to head on down.  Seven will come up here to bring you down there.  Don’t test her on that one. Bev: Oh, I wouldn’t put that past her.  (pulling her close one more time)  Please, take care of yourself.  I love you. KJ: I love you.

KJ waits outside of the counseling classroom  DeAnna exits with a Klingon woman, Biquv.

DeAnna: I’m so glad to see you in a more hospitable hour, Kathryn. KJ: I cannot apologize enough for that, DeAnna. DeAnna: Nonsense.  I’m glad I could be there for you when you needed me.  Kathryn, this is Biquv.  Talking to both of you makes me think you two are a good match. KJ: It’s good to meet you, Biquv.  Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam. Biquv:  Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam.  Your Klingon is very impressive. KJ: Thank you! Biquv: Shall we go to an office? KJ: I think that’s a good idea.

Sitting down in an office, Biquv takes a cup of tea from the replicator.

Biquv: May I offer you some moHbogh? KJ: (making the grossed out face) No thank you. Biquv: (laughing) I’ve never met a human who likes it.  In fact, I’m sure sure I know a Klingon who actually likes it either.  It’s a tradition, though, to take it before trying to purge our feelings and all weakness. KJ: Yeah, purging basically anything is what it’s good for. Biquv: (smiling) What is it that you need help with, Kathryn? KJ: I lost my sister recently.  She...she killed herself. Biquv: Is this the Phoebe Janeway? KJ: Yes?  How did you know her? Biquv: Oh, I never met her.  I was familiar with her work, though.  My brother once commissioned her to sculpt a bust of Kahless.  She is--was extremely talented. KJ: Yes, she was. Biquv: Did you get the chance to tell her goodbye? KJ: Yes.  When she did finally drift off, she was peaceful. Biquv: How do you feel about her death? KJ: I feel like I’m not enough. (Biquv cocks her head) She threw herself off a bridge because she couldn’t deal with never seeing me again.  The doctors kept her alive in a terrible state until I came home so I could say goodbye.  She told me she gave up because the pain of losing me was too much.  Biquv...am I responsible for her death?  Because I kept my ship lost in the Delta Quadrant, the universe lost an amazing artist.  Would it have been better to stay at home? Biquv: What is the name of the race of beings you saved? KJ: The Ocampans. Biquv: And the Borg.  Her name is? KJ: Seven of Nine.   BIquv: No, the other one. KJ: Erin Hansen.  Seven’s mother. Biquv: It seems to me that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. KJ: But she was MY few.  Biquv: And you’re angry with her. KJ: She couldn’t wait for me make it home. Biquv: Voyager was declared lost--your whole crew was assumed to be dead.  She had no hope left, Kathryn. KJ: Why couldn’t she have fought a little longer?  I did.  I fought to get home to her...to mom.  To Mark.  She was so selfish to have done this. Biquv: I guarantee you she felt like a burden.  The most selfless thing she could have done in her mind was to take herself out of the equation. KJ: But without her, the equation doesn’t equate.  It doesn’t make sense.  It means nothing. Biquv: She couldn’t have known that.   KJ: I”m angry.  I am sad.  I’m confused.  I feel betrayed.  I feel abandoned.  I just feel so many things.  I feel like I need to purge them.  To feel them, one by one, and then let them go. Biquv: I might have something that can help with that. KJ: It’s not that tea, is it? Biquv: (chuckling in spite of herself)  No.  I’ve got something a bit...louder.  Do you have a picture of her? KJ: Yes, in my quarters. Biquv: Ok.  Go get it, and meet me back here at 20:15.  (KJ nods and exits)

Bev is in her quarters reading.  KJ walks in.  

Bev: Hi.  How’d your session go? KJ: It’s not over.  I’m supposed to bring a picture of Phoebe to my counselor in a few minutes. Bev: Who is your counselor? KJ: She’s a Klingon woman named Biquv. Bev: Do you like her? KJ: She has made some good points already.  I’m interested to see what she wants me to do with Phoebe’s picture. Bev: I am, too. KJ: What if she tells me to get rid of it? Bev: You don’t have to do that. KJ: But I need to have her help to move on. Bev: Yes, but you don’t have to throw away memories.  Her job is to help you cope with your memories, not rid you of them.  Do you want me to come with you tonight? KJ: Yes.  That would be really helpful. Bev: (takes her hand) Let’s go.

They go to meet Biquv.  Biquv takes them to an outdoor section of the station.

Biquv: In ancient Klingon tradition, when a warrior falls in battle, the nearest Klingon goes to this warrior, opens their eyes, and then screams to Sto-vo-kor to look out--a warrior is coming their way.  I know Phoebe was very special to you.  In ancient human traditions, there were people who decided to scream when they stopped understanding what was going on, or when they had a lot of emotions to deal with.  That’s what I want you to do. KJ: You want me to scream? Biquv: Scream for the loss of your sister.  Scream for your anger.  Scream for your confusion.  Scream for sadness.  Scream for your betrayal.  Scream for your abandonment.  Scream for the loss of one you love so much.

KJ walks to the center of the room.  She lays Phoebe’s photo on the ground.  She looks deep into her sister’s eyes.  She lifts her head, and screams.  The pain seems to ooze from her.  She continues bellowing without words.  She stops for a minute to take a breath.  Bev laces her fingers through KJ’s, and she begins to yell, too.  Biquv takes hold of KJ’s other hand, and the three women scream until they no longer can.  KJ collapses from exhaustion.  Biquv and Bev help carry her to the room, where she sleeps.  PJ appears in KJ’s dream again.

PJ: Katie, I know you love me.  I will always love you.  I’m not physically here anymore, no, but I will never leave you.  There is  nothing that could keep me away from my sister--not even death itself.   Now, let’s rest.  (She puts her arms around KJ and holds her as they rest.  PJ fades out, and in her place in the bed is Bev, holding KJ as Bev herself drifts off as well.)

Star Trek Voyager: Unforgettable

Episode 4.22 “Unforgettable” Stardate 51813.4

Voyager is caught in a battle between two cloaked ships.  One of the ships explodes and they receive a comm call from a woman who asks for Chakotay’s help.  What is Janeway thinking when a random woman is calling Chakotay’s name over the comm?

Chakotay, Tom and Tuvok beam over to the alien vessel and save the pilot.  She asks for asylum.  KJ asks, “Who are you and how do you know my first officer?” KJ tells Chakotay to stay with her because she seems to trust him.  Chakotay pulls up a chair and sits by her bedside, fascinated by her.  She tells him they’ve met before, and he responds that he’s sure he’d remember.  Then she tells him that other races can’t remember her race.  She tells him they met a month earlier and spent several weeks together.  She tells him she came back because she fell in love with him.

C shares with the senior staff what he’s learned.  He’s suspicious that she has a hidden agenda.  KJ says Chakotay seems overly suspicious, she tells him she’d appreciate his thoughts on whether she’s telling the truth, but he just says “Aye, Captain.”

Chakotay brings Kellin for lunch in the messhall.  Chakotay doesn’t like pudding, carrots or fried food.  He’s still asking about how they met and what happened the first time.  Their initial meeting is over two phasers… eerily reminiscent of his first meeting with KJ… except he’s the one asking for her weapon.  Chakotay tells her that he has no memory of a relationship or feelings between them.  Kellin is hurt but handles it quickly.  The tracers show up looking for her.  Their weapons can go right through Voyager’s shields, and Voyager can’t detect them.  Kellin says maybe she can help Voyager detect the ships.  KJ lets C make the final call - either we give her up or we fire.  He says to fire and she agrees.  KJ tells Kellin she has to decide what she’s going to do.  Kellin replies she wants to stay on Voyager.  She asks to make more permanent modifications to Voyager, and Chakotay volunteers to go with her.  She teases him with memories of their “last night together.”

Chakotay goes to Neelix looking for something relaxing to help him sleep. Neelix tells Chakotay it’s obvious how Kellin feels about him.  Chakotay tells Neelix that falling in love with Kellin “doesn’t seem like me” and that he doesn’t trust her, he’s afraid she’s going to manipulate him, use him for her own purposes.  Neelix suggests it’s his own feelings he’s afraid of.

Kellin goes to C’s quarters.  She tells him she was sure that they’d regain the feelings they had before, and that’s why she came back.  If he feels nothing for her, she says she will leave.  He tells her not to go.  They sit together in his quarters.  He shares ice cream with her.  She says that Voyager is a powerful ship and fast.  Then she “reenacts” their last night together and kisses Chakotay, telling him she “wanted something to remember him by”.

Tuvok and Chakotay have a cute conversation about where Kellin’s skills would be best used.  They are working together and clearly have a mutual respect.

Seven says that courtship rituals seem unnecessary.  Harry tries unsuccessfully to explain to her why the rituals are important.

Kellin realizes that there’s a tracer on board the ship.  The tracer wipes her memory.  She asks Chakotay to help her remember.  Chakotay confronts the tracer; he is angry.  Chakotay goes to see Kellin and she doesn’t remember him. He tells her that they fell in love and asks her to stay for at least a few days. She replies that she has to go home.  She tells him she wishes they had met under different circumstances.

Chakotay writes down what happened with pen and paper.  Chakotay tells Neelix he can’t make sense of why she couldn’t fall in love with him again, when he fell in love with her twice.  Neelix replies that you can’t analyze love; it’s the greatest mystery of all.  “Any one thing might be enough to keep it from igniting.”  “And if we could define love, predict it, it would probably lose its power.”

What was his reaction when he found what he had written?  Did he ever share it with Kathryn?

Original Airdate: April 22, 1998

Production Number: 190