#the only one id ever allow is iron tongue just because itd be funny but i am laughing AT YOU for that one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cum-om-me · 4 years

Text

Personal Entry:

Otter here, first i guess itd be fair to explain a few things up top.

Firstly Otter is a metaphorical alter ego which was created based of a nick name given to me in highh school.

I was coined as "the nomadic Otter" due to my well known history of drifting continuously through this existence being born in a foreign land not to many continents away,but like a gracious river otter flowing with the rivers which eventually reach the seas, i was always stoned more naive, but ironically zen. I was brought here by my single mother at four yrs old, my father was never in the picture nor was i allowed to speak about him or inquire about him to my family and those who may have any information regarding the history of my own coming into being.

We became permanent residents four years later and im currently going through the process of naturalization. I went through the american education system since pre kindergarten so naturalization has occured as an outcome, but just isn't finalized and paid for so i am now going through that initiation. Ive paid and gone through the preliminary round.

We landed in a small town in texas, age four. Came to california at fifteen, twenty years id moved one year to, year and a half due to my mothers profession In the medical field, sometimes, or i guess i should say almost always, we would have to go to where the work was most needed in order to sustain our basic living, taking us all over texas and parts of southern california. After eighteen yrs of age, i left home with duffel bag and a guitar because i wanted to escape the conventual fate planned for me by my elders.

Nature loves courage.... And it is Apparently so.

Of course there are so many factors and so much information to divulge to add the proper context to the point im trying to get to in the conclusion of this story. Im afraid id diverge so ill have to return to all that some other day.

Now that you understand where the otter ego within me (pun intended) was teased and entertained as an ideal character for the person i am, its seeds didnt really start sprouting till last year (2019) and its peaked above the mud, i can explain my newly found understanding of the purpose of using this "alter ego" "character" "avatar" to be able to dissolve the borders of my own limitations as a person creating art. To be able to truly entertain these thoughts through the medium of the otter avatar and not as the man, for it has been increasingly difficult for me to be able to contemplate and philosophize with my peers and the community of souls i once accepted as my tribe, in a way of intellectual taste and progress.. Now it seems the bridges between me and the village are dissolving and im trying to understand why. I stand on the side which i believe to be that of the importance of knowledge of self, critical thinking, and responsible skepticism in order to be able maintain reason within the tribe, to perserve that which is most human in our nature, in comparison to the madness we have seen over and over throughout history displaying itself in obvious patterns of repetition that consumed mobs rabidly, making itself its own enemy. Lets use a symbolic metaphor. The snake eats its own tail in the delusions of unity to find when its finished nothing remains but its mind left exposed, and without protection from even the weakest but competent prey.

You see the metaphors are simply the inner poet, using symbolic visual linguistic tools to paint a clearer picture.

We are a story driven organism, just ask the keepers of morality and the stories of god which has defined the basis of our now hypocritical society using it like a crutch too old to withstand the withering of time, frail and ready to snap like a twig beneath ones feet.

As george carlin once said "no one seems to notice, no one seems to care" and every debate that has naturally transpired in my social structures as of late has lead to a point where logical conclusions, non threatening ones at that, lead to the opposing side raising their white flag and settling for mediocrity. "I dont care, leave me alone"

Then the attack on personality and character are used as a defenses to preserve the beliefs already founded due to the uncomfortable nature of growth.

I sit and watch as i always have the flicker, flame and smell of the bridge burning in blazes right before my teary eyed soul.

Am I no longer included, wanted by the collective community? Has my own pursuit for knowledge, understanding, truth and the inner rapture of personal discovery lead me to ruins door? Am i incapable of getting out of my own way? Can you even go to far within yourself?

No one wants me to feel but its not ok to feel nothing at all

To think but, only on the agreeable subjects of status quo

To speak when spoken to but to only speak what is conveniently easy to digest by a still watered mind threatened by the chaos of waves beating on the shores of its shared sands.

Has erosion driven us mad. Have the corrupted springs poisoned our waters too far beyond repair.

Must i reluctantly recluse amidst the tides and hide underneath lonely currents that travel vast desserts beneath oceans.

Pandemics, parks closed, beaches are now illegal to its native children, by a seemingly upset stepdad whos love is equal to obedience and incapable of parenting,it seems theyre now gunning for the fringe, the free, the open, the love expressed through physical incarnation as its own self love for its own existence, through the odd, differnt, freaks, weirdos, mutants, prophets, and visionaries

Why should i fight for those who dont care about their own person their, own freedom.

Why stand for those who wouldnt even stand with you, nor for you.

"Those who trade freedom for security deserve neither"

-Benjamin Franklin

Yet who am i to claim that anyone deserves anything or doesnt. So regardless of the I Dont Care Generation emerging. I choose to care for not what is principles of good or evil but what i intuitively feel is sincere and right. So I must begin with myself and only in following intention will i be able to incite any real change. By making a difficult choice and knowing that it feels as though the risk is worth the gamble.

So now ive heard loud and clear and i have nothing else to let go of but this. So ill hold my tongue and wish for the best. For the eutopia not the the sneaky slip into distopia.

There's nothing further i can do other than create, experiance, enjoy, let go, and face the music, To put it as Alan Watts did, " this doesnt mean you wont jump when you hear the bang, or that you wont feel fear, but youll accept it, and the person who understands the tao in the morning my sleep peacefully at night"

"Once the mind has been extended it cant ever go back"

-Terrence Mckenna

I hope that you know ive accepted the multitudes of possible outcomes for our future, i may be optimistic but i feel prepared, oddly prepared. This isnt a statement or message based on fear but something none the lesse my heart cannot hold in.

So Otter is born so to speak to embody the imagination im trying to let out without it being taken seriously, but sincerely and within the temple of the timeless. Art.

Without it having to be the me, the person, that funny feeling between the eyes that screams out I, who finds himself walking away from flames due to trial and failure in channeling its own expression. I will not desist i just must evolve and create the platform on which i may rebuild. The system updated and the restart brought about change. Now we begin again. Full of breath, with new found vision, i forgive myself for my failures but i wouldnt ever be able to look at my own reflection if i didnt try until i got it right. I vow to myself and olny to myself for thats the only source of validation needed to exist freely, sovereign, that i will do my best to be who i am meant to be, the being and self of my choosing.

"Most people spend their lives trying to find themselves, lifes about creating yourself"

-Bob Dylan

So in conclusion i know im different, and it may be intimidating but you cant just get rid of it, turns out you must overcome it, and the only way out is through and for me that began when i went within.

I am all for the rules, and being apart of this country and its society and obeying social order but as John Locke wrote in "Common Sense" that this is an unspoken agreement between the govenrment and its people that so long as they are just in ruling us" we will have to obey the law but there must be a way for its people to regain its country when tyranny and injustice is getting in the way of democratic processes and this is coming from a almost fully naturalized immigrant that came here to seek safe haven from a Democratic country plagued by unfairness. It would be a pitty to see it happen to a promise land founded of rich ideals. To those ive come to see as my own brothers and sisters, i love the ideal of true patriotism but where has it gone? If i need to be more protective of my personal privacy so that i may be able to practice my philosophical self studies, music, and comedy, to persue basic creative thinking methods openly. Then i choose this mask nit the one i was told to wear since birth. Theres always an person beneath the mask playing into the drama of this darma and we get into yoga with its fun to preten that we loose ourselves and assume the identity of the character portrayed in the scene in order to truly bring the crowd to the edge of its seat in awe and anticipation of the beauty of its poetry that at the end when the play is concluded both protagonist and antagonist join hands and the audience cheers for both equally for the dazzling deception and its cleverness for playing on the emotions of the observer.

Then the cast returns to the green room and become again who they were naturally.

Im 26 and ive found my character and im ready to submerse myself in its divine play and get involved participate, get lost in the mask of the person which is temporary but the spark behind conciousness seems to be the driving energy of existence benevolent, and eternel. Worth gambling so, now we roll the dice and hit the mystery button, just like the amnesia serum we gave ourselves before conception, into the womb we went. Only when you awaken your consciousness in the dream do you get to control the avatar, lucidly.

It doesnt seem to be a requirement, more like an EXPERIANCE badge rewarded for interesting work in the feild.

These again are ideals, not truths, thoughts and patterns worth examining and if capable entertaining till the conclusions and realizations of truth or delusion run their course. If you havent reached that point you havent really thought it through logistically right?

Lets discuss this comment below.

0 notes