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#the holden caulfield of comic book characters. I love him
puppybong · 3 months
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in order to be a tim fan you have to be a tim hater
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niksixx · 3 years
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Plus One
Welcome to part 5 of Plus One. We are approaching the end of this mini fic, but do not worry my loves. We still have a few parts left. I hope you enjoy part 5, and please remember to leave comments, reblog, and add tags. It motivates me to continue writing for you all. 💜
Note: Just a reminder, though this fic may seem fast, it takes place over the course of a few months!! 
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*Pia’s POV*
Eight bright, colorful beanbags are scattered around the floor in a private room at the back end of the library. It’s quiet, far away from small children who squeal excitedly when they spot their favorite comic book and a good distance away from the college students who gather at the old wooden tables to recite chemistry flashcards in one big study group.
Black coffee and burnt wood is the signature smell of the book club room. Only a few windows are open, allowing just a bit of sunshine and breeze to fill the room. The aura is comforting.
“Okay, everyone,” I say, setting the book in my lap. I believe The Catcher in the Rye is a classic, but various opinions, both positive and negative, have been directed toward the book over the years. Romance is the genre I’ve always been drawn to, fiction or nonfiction, but I can certainly appreciate a coming-of-age novel. “How did we feel about the story?”
Margaret, an elderly woman with curly gray hair and silver glasses, raises her hand timidly. It’s the first time she has volunteered to speak since the start of our club. I give her an encouraging smile, nodding. “I enjoyed it very much, though it was slow at times.”
A small contribution, but a contribution nonetheless. “Thank you Margaret. Would anyone else like to share?”
Shayne, a third-year college student, wiggles his fingers and clears his throat. “I would.” He snaps the book shut with one hand. “The book itself is enjoyable. There’s a lot of important themes that are entwined in the storyline. But Holden, and let me be clear, I feel terrible for saying this about a sixteen-year-old, was insufferable.”
“I thought I was the only one who thought so!” Stacy chirps from her beanbag. The thirty-year old mother of two crosses her ankles, drumming her fingers on the spine of her novel. “I was under the impression that Holden believed he was better than everyone else. His personality alone was enough to make me despise the book and it’s a shame. I wanted to love it.”
“That’s an interesting point, Stacy.” Setting my book on the ground, I adjust my legs deeper into the beanbag while the rest of the book club eagerly sits forward, awaiting my response. “And this is why I love reading so much. Whether the story is true or not, we know Holden Caulfield is not a real person, though there have been assumptions that J.D. Salinger modeled Holden after himself. Stacy, you said that Holden’s personality gave you enough reason to not enjoy the book. We certainly have to appreciate Salinger’s talent as an author. He was able to create a character that made you feel such strong emotions.” The club nods in agreement before I continue. “Now Shayne, you mentioned themes. Explain a bit more for me.”
“Gladly,” he answers eagerly. “Innocence. It’s the main theme. Holden, for lack of a better term, is obsessed with the preservation of childhood innocence. I do think that’s admirable, and while he was intolerable in my opinion, I can understand his desire to conserve one’s purity.”
“I assume there’s going to be a but in your next statement,” Charlie pipes up with a chuckle. The forty-seven year old retired firefighter wears a kind smile on his face.
“But,” Shayne smirks and holds up a finger. “Holden is one big contradiction, and here’s why. We know how much Holden hated the adult world and it’s “phoniness”. It’s the whole reason he wanted to preserve innocence wherever he could. Holden himself was a phony, a fake. He condemns adulthood but is seemingly unaware of his own phoniness. I now hate this word, by the way.”
A collective chuckle sounds in the room. I shake my head but can’t help the growing smile. The book club has been the highlight of my week so far.
“Anyway,” Shayne continues. “He’s deceptive and a compulsive liar. Holden is the epitome of what he hates.”
“That is a fantastic observation, Shayne, and thank you for sharing.” He bows dramatically before slinking back deeper into the beanbag. “Before we conclude our meeting and I introduce our new book, I have a question. Does anyone know why Holden’s name is symbolic to the story?”
I can see the wheels turning in their brains, and for a moment I think I’ve stumped them. Charlie looks like he wants to answer, but nothing comes out of his mouth. I take the chance to speak up. “First, does anyone know what a caul is?”
Stacy’s hand shoots up in the air. “I think I learned about this in one of my birthing classes but forgive me if I’m wrong. But isn’t the caul a part of the amnion that protects an unborn baby? Near the head, right?”
I snap my finger and point to Stacy excitedly. “Yes! And what does the name Holden sound like?”
“Holden...hold...en...hold...hold on?” Charlie asks skeptically.
“Exactly right,” I grin proudly. “Put it all together.”
“Oh my gosh,” Margaret says softly. Everyone turns toward the older woman. “In the book there was mention of Holden imagining children frolicking in a rye field. I just realized it now. He’s the catcher in the rye field, protecting the children. Holden Caulfield. Hold on to childhood innocence.”
I grin wildly, clapping along with the rest of the book club members. “Incredible, Margaret. You’re exactly right.”
“So, what’s our next book?” Shayne asks, hands tapping his thighs. “I’m feeling a mystery book.”
“Or Sci-Fi,” Charlie answers.
“Oooo, Sci-Fi,” Shayne murmurs excitedly.
“Neither,” I say, giggling at their frowns. From my purse, I pull out a purple paperback book and show it to the group. “Historical fiction mixed with romance. Our next book is The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie. I’ve never heard of it, so I’m sure you haven’t either. It’s about the same length as The Catcher in the Rye, maybe only a few pages more. Let’s all try to read the first five chapters and we’ll meet again next week.”
Stacy, Charlie, and Margaret bid farewell. Shayne stays back with me, shooting me a smirk as I gather my belongings. “Another romance novel, huh? Something you’d like to share with the class? Maybe his name?”
A slow smile spreads across my lips. I sling my purse over my shoulder, clamping a hand down on Shayne’s. “He’s a dream, Shayne. I’ve known him forever, but it’s finally official,” Two months ago, I used to cringe on the word official when it wasn’t. It still isn’t, but something between us feels different, feels real. The more I’m with him, the more I don’t want to pretend.
Shayne slings an arm around my shoulder, leading me out of the room. He’s had his fair share of relationship issues as well, but at twenty-one, he’s still young. “I’m glad one of us isn’t having boy trouble. Philip called me the other day, said he wants to get back together.”
“Are you going to?”
Shayne makes a face, opening the front door of the library. He scoots aside, letting me walk first. “Hell no, Sweets. He was a terrible boyfriend,” Shayne considers for a moment. “At least the sex was good. You think he’d settle for friends with benefits?”
I laugh heartily, pushing Shayne’s shoulder. “That’s a recipe for disaster, my friend. You want my advice? Spend some time on yourself. Find out what you really want in life.”
I head off to my car, Shayne walking the opposite way to his. Before I can slide into the seat, Shayne calls out to me. “Is he the one?”
I don’t have to think about it. It comes out naturally. “Without a doubt.”
~~~
Janielle has outdone herself, but I never expected anything less. Desserts are on every counter in her kitchen, from cupcakes to brownies and pastries. Outside on the back deck, a long white table is filled from end to end with finger foods and appetizers. With a beer in his hand, Dominic flips burgers expertly at the grill, shooting his wife a goofy grin when she utters a stern ‘be careful’. The rest of the adults gather on the patio, laughing and drinking, while the kids swim excitedly in the pool.
It’s the hottest day in August so far, and I can’t tell if my cheeks are red from the heat or from my constant ogling of Nikki’s shirtless chest. I watch from the deck as Nikki, Vince, and Amanda clink their bottles together and down their drinks. Nikki wins, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically, before turning his head to shoot me a wink. I laugh and shake my head, holding up my glass of wine that is still half full.
“So, you and Sixx,” My laughter is cut off by Dom, whose eyes twinkle with the same amusement present in his voice. “How about that?”
My stomach flips just at the mention of Nikki. “Going on almost four months,” I answer proudly, swirling the wine in my glass. “We’ve got nothing on you and Janielle, though.”
Dom smirks, carefully plating more burgers. I take the plate from him, and he nods in thanks. “Hey, not everyone knows who they’re going to marry at sixteen years old.”
This time, my heart beats faster just at the brief mention of marriage. I try not to let myself think of a long-term commitment with Nikki just yet. To everyone else, we’ve been official for a few months. But to myself and Nikki, we’re just two best friends playing a role.
“It’s too early to talk about marriage just yet,” I reply with a soft grin.
“But it’s a possibility in the future, yes?” Dom asks, stacking the last few burgers on the plate.
All I can answer with is a subtle nod just before I feel an arm snake around my waist. I crane my neck to glance up at Nikki just as his lips press a kiss to my jaw. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dom’s lazy smile and it puts me at ease knowing that Nikki and I have done our job at convincing everyone that what’s between us is true.
“Hi gorgeous,” Nikki greets breathily. “You doing okay?”
“Never better,” I answer truthfully, leaning back into his chest. I hand off the plate of burgers to Dom before directing my attention back to Nikki. “Are you?”
Nikki nods, arm tightening around my waist. “I’m perfect.” He holds up three empty beer bottles. “Come with me?”
I nod and take his hand, letting him lead me into the kitchen. While Nikki rummages through Janielle’s fridge for more beer, I steal a cannoli from the dessert tray, biting into the sweet cream.
“I’m having so much fun with you,” I blurt out honestly, licking the cream from my lips.
For a brief second, something flashes across Nikki’s face, almost as if my statement mimicked a bitter taste in his mouth. It’s gone just as fast as it came, replaced by an easy smile. “I am too, P.”
I bite my lip as Nikki opens the three bottles, eyes lingering on his tattooed arms. He catches me, smirking. “Pretty girl, you’re not exactly trying to hide it, you know.”
I blush, looking away like I always do when a compliment from Nikki is directed my way. And because I look away, I miss Nikki freeze in alarm, eyes wide, studying me.
When I turn back around, I notice his lips are in a thin line, jaw clenched ever so slightly. “P, I think we need to talk about something.”
His voice is serious, more serious than it’s ever been, and momentarily I fear the worst. Nikki’s fingers fidget nervously, and I can tell whatever is on his mind has been there for quite some time. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” It’s not a convincing answer, but I don’t say anything as he continues. “It’s more of a question, actually.” His hands fall at his side as he steps forward, exhaling a strangled breath. “Are we...what we’re doing…” His voice goes low. “We’re still pretending, right?”
There’s a lump forming in my throat, and I try my best to speak around it without giving off the impression that I’m either extremely hopeful he wants to make this real, or going to start crying because he wants to call everything off. “Yeah. Unless…unless you don’t want to pretend--.”
“No, no,” He says all too quickly, hands skimming my arms. “I like pretending. Pretending is good, safe. I just...wanted to make sure we’re still on the same page.” He grabs my hands, pressing a gentle kiss to each, before grabbing the bottles from the counter.
And as he leaves Janielle’s kitchen with a smile, I’m left standing alone and more confused than I’ve ever been.
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gone-series-orchid · 3 years
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10 and 11?
10. if you could take away one character’s powers and give it to another, who would that character be and what power would you give them?
i would give cigar's post-torture power to astrid. i just think it'd be interesting if she could see people's "roles" in the game of the fayz in the heavily symbolic way he does. she could have a direct hand in manipulating events so people's destinies line up with what her brother wants. plus, she'd maintain a direct connection to little pete, which would affect her heavily. maybe she could be a foil to brittney, then, only instead of being a servant of a dark and malevolent alien virus, she'd be her little brother's conduit to the fayz. if she has to be deeply traumatized to access that power, like poor cigar, then that would maybe provide an interesting contrast to her genius intelligence; she'd have to try to achieve her goals and do what she knows is right despite her own mind, her greatest weapon, betraying her.
11. what kind of books, movies, and tv shows do you think the characters would like?
sam: i think the last books he read was like in 4th grade, like hatchet or dear mr. henshaw...i don't think he's a big reader at all, he's too busy surfing! as for movies and tv, i think he just kind of watches whatever? he and quinn probably watch shows like wipeout and survivor together. i can picture sam and connie watching romantic comedies like when harry met sally... and you've got mail together as a mother-son bonding activity pre-fayz.
astrid: @thegoneseriesanalysis had the excellent idea of her secretly enjoying the children's animated movies she puts on for little pete due to their black-and-white morality 🥺 also she probably likes courtroom dramas...and i'm stuck on her really liking the sopranos. she'd totally identify with dr. melfi. and, of course, her canon enjoyment of watching brain surgery on tv, lol. and documentaries!!! as for books, i think she reads tons of nonfiction--lots of books on science and biology. i think she kind of reads anything she can get her hands on, but i like to think she also likes dipping into classic american/english literature like the scarlet letter and moby-dick. real morally weighty, hefty stuff. i can picture her really liking mark twain, for some reason
quinn: like sam, i don't think he reads, really. he might pick up a superhero comic occasionally. i think he mostly likes watching tv and movies. game shows and high-energy, low-substance stuff. he probably prefers comedies. i can picture him liking adam sandler. but i also think he has a penchant for slightly weirder stuff; maybe '70s sci-fi like logan's run or westworld.
edilio: i think he likes reading casual stuff, adventure novels, maybe. paperbacks you'd get at the airport. i think he also might like short story anthologies. as for movies, indie movies, definitely. i think he likes more abstract, thoughtful stuff with slightly obscure symbolism, stuff he can really think about and ponder. i also think he also secretly likes watching spanish daytime soaps with his mom.
diana: '90s/'2000s "chick flicks," definitely, but with a semi-ironic, cool sense of detachment--stuff like mean girls, 10 things i hate about you, legally blonde. stuff she might scoff at, but also genuinely enjoys. i don't think she reads much, aside from magazines. reality tv, stuff that's pure escapist fluff whose characters she can mock and deride for being superficial/stupid. i also think she likes teen dramas like degrassi and dawson's creek.
caine: i hate to admit it, but i think caine would read the catcher in the rye (a genuinely good book that's often misinterpreted, don't @ me) and over-identify with holden caulfield (🤢). he probably reads a lot of high-class literature but doesn't digest a whole lot of it, he just reads it because it makes him look classy/smart. he likes movies like the wolf of wall street and american psycho, probably.
drake: slasher films, the bloodier and more misogynistic the better. fight club appeals to him for all the wrong reasons. probably reads a lot of stephen king, especially his more cynical stuff under his richard bachman pen name (like rage and thinner).
howard (also orc, kinda): i like to think howard's kind of a secret movie buff; he'll watch action movies and criticize them readily, but still enjoys them. i think he likes fight club, but understands it's meant to be satirical (still enjoys the more superficially pleasing violence of it, though). stuff like the matrix and district 9. probably reads, but it's mostly comics--the lighter stuff, but also heavier stuff like watchmen. and i have this fixed idea that he likes shounen anime, with a special attachment to neon genesis evangelion (he relates to shinji, though i don't think he'd ever admit it).
of course, he can also enjoy a light low-brow comedy; i think him and orc absolutely love beavis and butt-head and watch it all the time. also, both of them enjoy the sopranos--howard for similar reasons as astrid, understanding the deeper themes but also liking the violence, and orc just liking people getting beaten up (and also subconsciously relating to tony's depression).
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THE St. Jordi BCN Film Festival ’21 FILM REVIEWS
VOL. I: What’s Good!
by Lucas Avram Cavazos
YOUR #VOSEng take on upcoming international cinema premiering in Catalonia & Spain soon
To begin with, for a fellow who has for years been used to screening or viewing hundreds of movies annually, thereby spending hella time in cinemas, a global pandemic has been a true shock to the dork’s system. It has been a testament to the mindset of ‘the show must go on’ to see so many of our local and other European film festivals pushing back against the virus and powering through what could be deemed a safety issue by many. But basta! For starters, temp checks and hand sanitiser stations plus mandatory mask wearing have made a true return to movie going a half-wonderful respite. And so many thanks to Conxita Casanovas, Marien Pinies, David Mitjans, Cines Verdi BCN, Institut Francaise, and Casa Seat plus ALL the industry, press and movie lovers for making one of my favourite film festivals back to life for the half-decade anniversary. And I’m not just saying that for shits n’ giggles.
As an educator and broadcaster, history not only steeps itself within the confines of my classes, sessions and weekly radio/livestream shows, but every single one of us are literally living and walking and thriving through history, even as I scribe. So congratulations to anyone reading this, because you are Destiny's Child’ing it all over this place like drum n’ bass! On to the festival and cinema though please…
The St. Jordi BCN Film Festival revolves around the celebrated St. George’s/Day of the Book holiday here in Catalonia and so all the movies are based upon literary and historical works and facts. Red carpet moments and celebrities also make up the soirees and this year proved even better than others, with the likes of Johnny Depp and Isabelle Huppert being hosted by Cines Verdi, Institut Francaise and Casa Fuster. Depp, dressed as his character (I believe!) from his latest premiere Minamata -reviewed below- even mentioned that he would have loved to stay longer if he could keep Casa Fuster all to himself. And the day after her premiere for Mama Weed -also reviewed below- Huppert was seen being gorgeous at another film screening and then meandering about Gracia. But let’s speak about some of the movies that piqued my interest and will hopefully do the same to yours.
Petit Pays by Eric Barbier ####
Winner of Best Film at this year’s festival awards, Petit Pays tells a quasi-true story of family struggle during the Hutu vs Tutsi massacre that befell the gorgeous countries of Burundi and Rwanda in the early-to-mid 90s. But that is just the mere slice of what the plot truly entails. Focusing on little Gaby (Djibril Vancoppenolle) and his wee sister Ana (Dayla De Medina) as they make their way through childhood/pre-teen years, the plot thickens when the genocide starts to spill over and touch their lives, hectically lived with their Belgian father (Jean-Paul Rouve) and Rwandan mother (Isabelle Kabano, winner of the Best Actress award at this year’s festival). Truth be told, they do live in the lap of African middle class pleasantries, but as the film tenses up, reality sets in for all involved, including us viewers. The harsh reality that director Barbier fuses into the novel adaptation by French-Rwandan rapper/author Gael Faye seeks to display to the audience the truth of a genocidal history and how the sins of the parents always come back to burden or visit the children.
Where to watch: debuts in local cinemas 28/05/21
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Promising Young Woman by Emerald Fennell ####
Oscar-nominated and local premiere hit Promising Young Woman had a stellar reception at this year’s festival and what a tour de force it turned out to be. The film plot revolves around medical school dropout Cassie Thomas (Carey Mulligan), who turns 30 and passes her time working at a trendy coffee shop but completely unmotivated whilst also continuing to live with her increasingly-worried parents. Years after her best mate killed herself, Cassie drags the guilt and loss along with her…until a blast from the past shows up, gets his coffee spat in and then falls head over heels into what will turn into a revenge tale beyond one’s craziest notions. A tale of loss that touches on modern themes in a frighteningly understandable way is few and far between these days. Fennell’s work here puts her on the map for sure.
Where to watch: in local cinemas NOW
Minamata by Andrew Levitas ###-1/2
This year marks 50 years since a collective understanding by world powers finally began to comprehend the enormity that factories create against Mother Nature and living creatures. It’s New York and 1971 when we find W. Eugene Smith (Johnny Depp), Life magazine photo journalist and one awash in a realm of problems. Then, adding to that drama, we find him suddenly embroiled on a task and mission that is presented by a couple of his fans, without his awareness that he has also stumbled onto a truth beyond wills. Environmental devastation affecting the innocent in Minamata, Japan is where we eventually spend the plurality of the film, and if you can get through the end scene of it without tears or shame of what mankind has wrought, you’re a tougher kid than I.
Where to watch: in local cinemas as of 30 April
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Mama Weed by Jean-Paul Salomé ####
I cannot even begin to explain how much I absolutely enjoyed screening this film by the gifted and curious director Salomé, but it is without a doubt the tour de force work of ageless French star Isabelle Huppert that summons one to watch and compels them to laugh and engage. Undoubtedly, adapting any work of art from literature is never an easy undertaking, but the bringing to life of Patience Portefeux, a judicial interpreter for France’s investigation division, turns out to be crown jewel by Huppert. Serving up comical thrills, blithe acting when under insane pressure by duel forces and fierce Arab queen fashions, this film will have you white-knuckled, perplexed and laughing, all in tandem. THIS is an early-in-the-year film that deserves some attention!
Where to watch: in local cinemas NOW
My Salinger Year by Philippe Falardeau ###-1/2
Based on the like-titled autobio novel by Joanna Smith Rakoff, the movie stars Margaret Qualley as Joanna, an aspiring writer and young upstart in an NYC lit agency, whose tasks include many things, including answering the many fan mail letters that come for the agency’s fave writer J.D. Salinger, he of the oft-loved US American coming-of-age novel Catcher in the Rye. Even this guy connected to Holden Caulfield as a youth so when Joanna one day fields a call from Salinger and then gets caught trying to find endearing manners to respond to these grand fans, an incident leads to a coming-of-age awareness experience for Joanna and we the audience are the ones who are all the better for it.
Where to watch: in local cinemas on 4/6/21
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vrronica-sawyer · 4 years
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ur RIGHT and u should say it. hi, mentally ill queer teenage boy here, i related to like for example...holden caulfield SO MUCH and im always so afraid to talk abt how much i felt for him and his story bc people have relating to him down as a red flag. Idk if one would consider him queer coded, but you're the first person ive seen actually talk abt how damaging that whole culture can be to mentally ill dudes. thank you
Let’s go through the list of male fictional characters boys are Toxic tm for relating to or liking I see most commonly on those posts, shall we?
The Joker: one of the most queer coded characters in comic book history to the point where it’s really no longer coding and has for a long time been written into his character that his motivation is love for Batman, flamboyant and has existed for decades before Harley Quinn and him being written to be problematic in a feminist sense is very recent and minimal if you look at all his characterizations and writing since he was created. Yes shitty cishet white dudes relate to him bc of gross edgy reasons but they are a loud minority and the same can be said abit Harley Quinn cishet white girls who just use her to romanticize abuse and ddl/g yet y’all don’t treat Harley Quinn the way you do The Joker?
Jason Dean: incredibly relatable and thought out writing of mental illness for the 80s, most of my friends who suffer from mania and delusions find him relatable because of this, was a very comforting character to me as a mentaly ill teen, was written before school shootings were a thing and therefore now has unintentional layers when looked at with a modern lense, vague but definitely present queer coding that’s made a lot of queer men I know relate to him (again esp mentally ill men)
Holden Caulfield: literally just a teenage boy written to explore trauma and mental illness? Why is he on these lists? What is the worst thing he does in this book why do you guys hate him I’ve genuinely never understood.
Dude from Clockwork Orange: the fact that y’all find him comparable to Holden Caulfield is scary to me and screams “all mentally ill men are equally scary threats”
Tyler Durdan: yeah fuck that guy but also he isn’t a real person and doesn’t apply to this and also anyone who relates to him is just missing the point of a book written by a gay man where Tyler Durdan is meant to symbolize toxic masculinity, the book and its writer are popular amongst queer men for these reasons so no Everyone Who Likes a Fight Club Is Not Bad.
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smokefalls · 5 years
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Title: Darius the Great Is Not Okay Author: Adib Khorram First Published: 2018 Genre: fiction, YA Content Warning: bullying, xenophobia, religious intolerance, toxic masculinity, homophobia, fat-shaming, terminal illness/death, mental health stigma (depression)
This was such a tender, heartfelt read. For those who are at all familiar with Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, you’ll find a similar gentleness in Darius the Great Is Not Okay.
While there are many coming-of-age novels that saturate the YA genre, I do think that Darius the Great Is Not Okay has a particular sensitivity that hit all the right spots for me. Khorram explores depression, the biracial identity (specifically white American and Persian), and relationships between family and friends. Darius (or Darioush in Persian context), the main character, is hypersensitive, timid, self-deprecating, and has comical, candid thoughts of everything that’s going on around him.
In a lot of ways, his character reminded me a lot of Holden Caulfield, which is a connection I never thought I’d make, aha. That said, it’s because both of them have this air of teenage angst to them that’s so loud as a result of being so deep in their respective minds. Darius has a stream of consciousness that might be irritating to some, but there’s a frankness in his seemingly endless anxieties over his identity, his struggles with mental health, and his relationships with others, particularly with his father. And boy, is he frank about his depression. It’s unusual to start a novel with a character who is already depressed and quite cognizant of it. Darius’s story is not one about overcoming depression though. It’s a story of living with an invisible disability while dealing with other stress factors in his life. Sometimes he does a good job, other times… not so much. If that isn’t mental illness, I don’t know what is.
He compartmentalizes all of this in such an interesting way, which I think especially resonates in his identifying as a “Fractional” Persian as opposed to a “True” Persian. Really, I just found the use of the word “fractional” interesting, only because it gives more versatility in what percentage of Persian he felt as opposed to a divided half-half as is often the case for many biracial people. And to an extent, I felt that he applied this to other aspects of his life.
In that sense, that’s why I felt his relationship with Sohrab all the more beautiful and wonderful. Despite the stress of it all, everything seems to melt away when he’s with Sohrab, where he feels whole and free of judgement. The two of them have such a wholesome, pure friendship that depicts a tenderness and love for one another, lifting each other up. It also seems as though some people are coding their relationship as queer, but I personally find that it’s not only erasing the importance of tenderness in a male platonic relationship, but also the fact that many nonwestern cultures embrace physical affection in a way that’s quite different from western cultures. Food for thought, though I wouldn’t be upset by any means if it ended up that they do romantically like each other. It’s just heartwarming to see softer edges around male characters without romance.
Anyways, ahaha… his relationships with other people in his life—specifically his family members—are also meaningful and beautiful, showing how that relates to his own biracial/cultural identity as well as his depression. He shows the full spectrum of how most people feel about family members, from unadulterated love (he has teatime with his little sister, is unashamed to give kisses and hugs to his family members) to a frustration like no other (Darius’s relatives comment on him being overweight, his father continuously seems disappointed in everything he does). There’s a strength in Darius’s family that I find admirable, especially because no matter how tiresome and upsetting things get, they find each other again to remind one another that they are there. And sometimes, it’s really bittersweet (such as the fact that the main reason Darius’s family even flew to Iran was because his grandfather was dying—). It’s just nice to see the whole gamut of emotions that one feels around their family members rather than snippets.
Some parts of the story felt forced, and there were occasions where I wished Khorram further explored something that was brought up (though I guess it’s understandable, given that what I wanted more of would more or less be another book). Overall though, it’s a lovely book that explores mental health—specifically depression—in such an open way that I appreciate. It’s wonderful for those who are biracial and struggle with never feeling enough, because this book will remind you that while you felt that your place is empty, it’s filled. It’s a story of familial and platonic love. It’s also a story of cultural love, which is a sort of self-love as well.
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kxlebcross · 4 years
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[ even numbers for the weird asks, pleaseeee ]
me: has to google what are even numbers lol
2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops, cuz after that i can munch on the lil lollipop stick too which keeps me busy lol
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? i know it totally doesn’t look like that but i used to be the class’ smart kid who participated in all kind of competitons and shit like that, was in the school choir, went to music school... so yeah, i was pretty much your average nerd, but then i grew up stewpid haha
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? a weird mix of tomboy and grunge, depending on the day and actual mood, weather and whatever the hell i got clean lol
8. movies or tv shows? movies - i usually lose interest in every series after like... 2-3 episodes? i only finished like 3-4 deries in my whole life so i guess the number speaks for itself
10. game you were best at in p.e.? i used to be pretty good at volleyball back then, though i was always considered too short to be on the school team haha 
12. name of your favorite playlist? am 4:44 with a little moon emoji, made by yours truly (aka me)
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? i don’t really eat sweets... but when i do i go for sour jellies but idk if that counts as candy haha
16. most comfortable position to sit in? have you ever saw one of those “bisexuals can’t sit normally” memes? pretty much all of those, i always sit in random poses until my back gives in, i don’t have a favorite position tho
18. ideal weather? the summer night’s warm weather with a little breeze, maybe with some clouds... but i usually enjoy rains and thunderstorms too unless i have to go out because then i’m like bruh
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? depends on what i have to write - for school notes i usually use a notebook and/or my laptop; for stories - my laptop or my phone’s notes if the inspiration gets me outside; everything else i’ll just write on random scraps of paper or in random notebooks just to never find them again haha
22. role model? i don’t really.... have one? i rather have a motto to live by but i don’t really look up to anyone tbh
24. favorite crystal? don’t have one, i dunno shit about crystals lol
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? go out for a nice walk or some drink with my friends, walk my cat outside or just chill on my balcony with a boo while terrorizing my neighbors with a randomly chosen edm playlist
28. five songs to describe you? human by sevdaliza badmind by kuzi scar by foxes throat full of glass by combichrist 5:3666 by machine gun kelly
30. places that you find sacred? uhhh..... i can’t really think of any that would fit here? but i never really step in weird plant formations in forests and shit like that, cuz better be safe than sorry
32. top five favorite vines? i literally only have one favorite vine and it’s the two guys chillin in a hot tub, thats it
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? every seasonal whiskas one because of the baby cats.... but other than that i haven’t seen an ad in ages, i don’t have tv and use adblock on pc haha
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? i...c an’t remember, it was probably one of the rage comics or trollface comics? can’t really recall tbh it was ages ago
38. lemonade or tea? lemonade, with lots of ice cubes and mint, give it to me pls
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? well in elementary some guy from the older classes took a sh*t then went to one of the classrooms to wipe his ass with the curtains there lol also some other time someone pissed out of the window on the first floor  in high school someone gassed the whole school with pepper spray, but like an insane amount, and everyone went immediately panic mode, police and firemen were called, the whole school evacuated..... and the one responsible for that had to pay like an insane amount of money for the police/fire dept. action haha
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets, i don’t trust jacket pockets cuz they usually dont have a lil zipper to close them up and i’d totally lose my phone if i put it there, im stewpid like that
44. favorite scent for soap? orange-vanilla or some other citrus-y scent
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? anything oversized will do with some pants/underwear
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? probably a grapefruit, fucking bitter about everything lmao
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? once i laughed at a plastic bag being dragged around by the wind for like 10 minutes while being fucked up drunk... does that count?
52. favorite font? hands down times new roman
54. what did you learn from your first job? that the customer isn’t always right and that apparently i had a knack for putting down tiles
56. favorite tradition? does halloween count? i love halloween
58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m a really good driver.... and i think that’s it? i really can’t come up with anything else... does being loud and obnoxious sometimes count? and i think i’m good enough with people too... and i think i’m a good listener? idk, i’m pretty useless tbh
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? give me the good old horror and make me the obnoxious side character who rarely ever speaks cuz no one ever asks them anything, that would pretty much resemble my actual life
62. seven characters you relate to? bojack horseman, sal paradise, loki from mcu, wednesday addams, oba yozo from no longer human, richie tozier, holden caulfield
64. favorite website from your childhood? club penguin! i wasted sooooo much time on there, sheesh....
66. favorite flower(s)? i really like succulents and ferns! and cactuses... or anything that’s low maintenance tbh
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? licorice... and also cucumber lemonade, gross
70. left or right handed? right
72. worst subject? i’m really bad with history and physics, i’m just way too dumb for those
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? around 9-10, i’m pretty much used to all my chronic pains and tbh i don’t like taking pain meds cuz i always have to take double because once i was misdiagnosed and spent almost a year on painkillers so barely anything works for me now... thanks public healthcare
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? fries... i’d love some now, i’m actually hungry 
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from gas station, now pretty much all of them have decent coffee machines and the prices are okay too and i definitely trust them more than any boxed sushi ever
80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel
82. pc or console? i grew up as a pc kid and tbh never had the money for a console so i just got stuck with it haha
84. podcasts or talk radio? if i necessarily have to choose then podcasts
86. cookies or cupcakes? both as long as its witch choccie
88. your greatest wish? let’s be realistic - i’d like to have my own place and little car and cats and i’d be all good
90. luckiest mistake? drunk kissing this one guy from my esports team after telling him i was a lesbian and he told me he had a girlfriend, it was stewpid tho, lets not get back to it
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights, the latter necessarily in blue, it’s just neat and doesn’t bring in all the mosquitos at summer when i leave the window open
94. favorite season? spring
96. desktop background? some assassin’s creed logo fanart i’ve found on alphacoders
98. favorite historical era? i.... really...... hate....... history...... blame it on my middle school teacher who made me hate it lol
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jerepars · 7 years
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Heartthrob Story Notes
Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is here.
I wrote this after watching Riverdale all the way through three times (Season 2 doesn't premiere until October 2017 and Season 1 only has 13 episodes). I've definitely overanalyzed the charactsuers, their key moments, their relationships. Everything.
I've loved TV shows before, loved pairings on TV shows before, but I don't think I've ever been so emotionally invested as I am in Bughead to the point where I wanted to write something. I've only ever been inspired to write by music and hockey, really.
So. In my overanalysis of the show and the situations the characters have been put through, it dawned on me that Archie isn't actually the heartthrob he's presented as. Sure, he's an All-American jock with a pretty smile and nice abs. But when you peel back all the layers, see what his problems are, see his cluelessness about basically everything, you're left with what he really is--in my opinion--just a fuckboy.
And so emerges the true heartthrob of Riverdale, Jughead Jones. He's literally in all of the best scences (exhibits: fighting with Betty, calling his mom, when he goes to see FP). He's pretentious but smart. He's the emo loner kid stealing the audience's hearts, stealing Betty's heart.
Damn this show for their perfect portrayal of Bughead. Watching it feels so real, what it really felt like to be a teenager.
Wanting so badly for Bughead to be endgame and believing Jughead is the real heartthrob of Riverdale, I came up with this.
I sat thinking for a long time that I don't really have any good original ideas because wow, I looked, and the Bughead shippers have it covered really well. When it was about to be Father's Day, while re-watching Bughead clips for the umpteenth time, I sighed at something adorable and audibly said "aw, Juggie".
That became it, the story. That's the tl;dr version of the story, really, just "Juggie!"
When I started writing I just intended for it to be some light fluff, Betty and Jughead in the future, as parents, and instead of their kid calling him her dad for the first time, she calls him what everyone else that loves him calls him. I think it got a little darker as I went along, adding in the backstory. I think that makes sense because it's not actually a light show, despite being a "teen drama" on The CW.
As per usual with my story notes, there is an awful lot of overexplaining below. I've linked a lot of clips from the show which may or may not be spoilers. I think this drabble still makes sense if you've never seen Riverdale or if you don't care to, but they're there if you so choose.
These mornings were tough. Waking up at the crack of dawn to the sound of a crying baby through the baby monitor. Not that these kind of mornings were new per se - there had been a period of time, during his sophomore year of high school when he set his alarm for this time, when he had been living in a tiny closet at Riverdale High School. Somehow that had been a better alternative than staying in the trailer park with his usually absent alcoholic father.
The first paragraph is a reference to the opening scene of 1x07 (0:00 to 1:10), where Jughead wakes up from a dream in the closet at the high school, where he's been living, and he has to explain himself when Archie catches him.
Given the so-called destiny he’d believed his two best friends were meant to have, Jughead hadn’t planned on falling in love with Betty Cooper. He’d always thought his destiny was to remain the weird loner kid, always on the outs. It took until they were sophomores in high school for Jughead to realize Betty was it – the light at the end of the tunnel waiting to envelope him and pull him out of the darkness. And as it turned out, where darkness and light were concerned, they evened each other out. Facing her own demons, her own darkness, Jughead had been her spot of light seeping through.
It was a delicate balance between the two of them until they got out of Riverdale. Just as quickly as he'd put on the leather Southside Serpents jacket, she'd made him vow it was only temporary, to protect himself and to protect them. She made him take an oath that one day when he took it off, it would be for good and he would never put it back on again. Betty had made him promise the civil war in Riverdale wouldn't be the nooses around their necks, and hand in hand, they would make it out of their devil town not just to live, but to thrive.
I was listening to the Bright Eyes cover of "Devil Town" a lot while I was writing backstory about Jughead's past and their town, Riverdale. In the same way that the narrative talks about the delicate balance of light and dark and of Betty and Jughead, I like the way the song sounds light but is talking about darkness.
And, come on, how could I not give The Jacket a shout out?
Years later, on the day he married Betty, at the wedding reception, while giving the maid of honor’s speech, Veronica had quipped about the irony of it all. Jughead had gone from the brooding Holden Caulfield-esque loner outsider to the heartthrob of his own novel, because he was the one who ended up marrying the beautiful blonde cheerleader to have the happily ever after with.
In 1x07, again, Veronica actually refers to Jughead as Riverdale's version of Holden Caulfield (1:11 to 3:15) after a "Scooby Gang" meeting where Jughead puts his arm around Betty and the group doesn't know about them yet.
He had written a novel. It had been about Jason Blossom’s murder and its impact on Riverdale. But the narrative was from Jughead’s perspective. He was a constant in the book’s pages because of his connection to all those involved, most notably FP, his father. When the book sold well, even Hollywood had come knocking on his publisher’s door. They’d wanted the film rights to the novel, they wanted to sensationalize the most terrible thing to happen in Riverdale, to tell the story of his teenage angst. They’d even dropped the name of the actor who they would target to play his own ‘character’—a former Disney star with a sharp jaw, slightly nasal voice, and gigantic social media following.
Jughead never did sign on the dotted line for the project but it was true that he was a living, breathing cliché of the American Dream, and he loved it. He’d grown up to be the heartthrob of his own life. He was reminded of that every time Betty smiled at him, and now, every time Sadie did, too.
Last sentence of the first paragraph: that's just me, breaking the fourth wall, in a sense because um, the description is literally Cole Sprouse, who plays Jughead. I did this to amuse myself more than anything else, really. Maybe I think his voice is a little nasal. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. I think it suits him. Alluding all the way back to the Archie comics, I think it suits Jughead's character, too.
Despite Jughead's non-conformist attitude as a teenager, I feel like it's appropriate for him to accept the American Dream, be proud to have it even, in this adult version of him. In 1x04, when he's whining about the Twilight Drive-In closing one of the first things he mentions is "a nail in the coffin of [...] the American Dream," and he's upset something good he's held on to is being taken away. I think part of the reason Jughead becomes isolated and non-conformist and a self-proclaimed loner is not because he doesn't want the American Dream, but because he's always thought someone in his shoes can't ever have that.
He caught her arm before she could saunter off and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her on the mouth hard, one hand ghosting up under the shirt she was wearing to graze at the bare skin of her upper thigh and one hand cupping the back of her neck. He sighed, content, and for a moment was transported back to a moment—their first moment—in her childhood bedroom surrounded by floral wallpaper.
There were times when he still felt like he did back then, crawling through her window to comfort her after they’d found Polly at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, while also nervous, at a loss for words because he wanted to kiss her so badly, to let her know what the connection they’d forged while investigating Jason’s murder meant to him.
Basically just a reference to everything Bughead in 1x06 leading up to their first kiss in Betty's floral bedroom. Juggie called it their moment, so I called it their moment.
“Nearly everyone in my life who loves me has called me ‘Juggie’ at one point or another,” Jughead reminded her. “What’s one more?”
Cereal forgotten, Betty moved her hand under her chin, thinking about his statement. He was right. She called him that. Archie called him that. Jellybean called him that. It was a short list, but Betty knew it was the only list that mattered to Jughead.
I think the first time he's called "Juggie" on the show is actually in 1x03 when Betty recruits him for the school paper. Archie calls him that later on. They're both sort of wrong about only the shortlisted people calling him this, because in the opening scence of 1x13, Pop Tate calls him Juggie as he slides over the coffee (1:01 to 1:06; WARNING: major spoilers in this clip!).
Oh, did you think I was kidding about how thoroughly I've watched this show? No, no. I'm neurotic.
I still think it's a valid point though. Jughead doesn't like very many people so it makes sense that very few would ever get so close to him to call him Juggie.
“Who's your daddy?” Jughead made a face and kicked Betty lightly under the table. “Please never say that again, Betts. It's creepy.”
I couldn't write this and not make reference to the whole "daddy" war thing the Riverdale cast had going on. Obviously.
Also, I am trash and I hate myself.
He gave her that look, the one he saved just for her. The look that meant he loved her completely, entirely, with everything he had. She'd seen that look before, when they'd told each other for the first time they loved each other, and on their wedding day, and when Sadie was born.
First, he takes the beanie off. Then the look Jughead gives Betty when he tells her he loves her (0:53). Then the look Jughead gives her when she tells him she loves him (1:04). That's the look. Oh, my heartstrings.
I wrote this listening to Tegan and Sara's Heartthrob and Paramore's After Laughter and The Gaslight Anthem's American Slang. At the end of it all, what it really is, is a love letter to Bughead, I think. It's an exercise in writing that I hope is a launching pad that gets me back to hockey stories.
Doing this all weekend was fun. It immediately took me back to how consumed I get when I am writing. I don't have writer's block, because I never do. I don't have time to write.
I want to make time to write.
We'll see.
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investmart007 · 6 years
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NEW YORK | Philip Roth: a generation's defining voice
New Post has been published on https://is.gd/fgudw2
NEW YORK | Philip Roth: a generation's defining voice
NEW YORK (AP) — In the self-imposed retirement of his final years, Philip Roth remained curious and removed from the world he had shocked and had shocked him in return.
He praised younger authors such as Ta-Nehisi Coates and Teju Cole, and confided that he had read “Born to Run,” the memoir by another New Jersey giant, Bruce Springsteen. He followed with horror the rise of Donald Trump and found himself reliving the imagined horrors of his novel “The Plot Against America,” in which the country succumbs to the fascist reign of President Charles Lindbergh.
But Roth, who died Tuesday at age 85, was also a voice — a defining one — of a generation nearing its end. He was among the last major writers raised without television, who ignored social media and believed in engaging readers through his work alone and not the alleged charms or virtues of his private self. He was safely outside Holden Caulfield’s fantasy that a favorite author could be “a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.” He didn’t celebrate romantic love or military heroism or even consider the chance for heavenly justice.
The meaning of life, he once said, paraphrasing his idol Franz Kafka, is that it stops. “Life’s most disturbing intensity is death,” he wrote in his novel “Everyman,” published in 2006.
Best known for works ranging from the wild and ribald “Portnoy’s Complaint” to the elegiac “American Pastoral,” Roth was among the greatest writers never to win the Nobel Prize. And he died, with dark and comic timing, in the year that the prize committee called off the award as it contended with a #MeToo scandal. He also died just minutes after the book world had concluded the annual Pen America gala in Manhattan and on the eve of another literary tradition — Wednesday’s annual induction ceremony at the American Academy of Arts and Letters, which voted Roth in more than 40 years ago.
“No other writer has meant as much to me,” Jeffrey Eugenides, the Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist and a new academy inductee, wrote in an email Wednesday to The Associated Press. “No other American writer’s work have I read so obsessively, year after year.”
Roth’s novels were often narratives of lust, mortality, fate and Jewish assimilation. He identified himself as an American writer, not a Jewish one, but for Roth, the American experience and the Jewish experience were often the same. While predecessors such as Saul Bellow and Bernard Malamud wrote of the Jews’ painful adjustment from immigrant life, Roth’s characters represented the next generation.
Their first language was English, and they spoke without accents. They observed no rituals and belonged to no synagogues. The American dream, or nightmare, was to become “a Jew without Jews, without Judaism, without Zionism, without Jewishness.” The reality, more often, was to be regarded as a Jew among gentiles and a gentile among Jews.
He was a fierce satirist and uncompromising realist, committed to the narration of “life, in all its shameless impurity.” Feminists, Jews and one ex-wife attacked him in print, and sometimes in person. Women in his books were at times little more than objects of desire and rage and The Village Voice once put his picture on its cover, condemning him as a misogynist. A panel moderator berated him for his comic portrayals of Jews, asking Roth if he would have written the same books in Nazi Germany. Jewish scholar Gershom Scholem called “Portnoy’s Complaint” the “book for which all anti-Semites have been praying.” When Roth won the Man Booker International Prize in 2011, a judge resigned, alleging the author suffered from terminal solipsism and went “on and on and on about the same subject in almost every single book.” In “Sabbath’s Theater,” Roth imagines the inscription for his title character’s headstone:
“Sodomist, Abuser of Women, Destroyer of Morals.” Roth’s wars also originated from within. He survived a burst appendix in the late 1960s and near-suicidal depression in 1987. For all the humor in his work — and, friends would say, in his private life — jacket photos usually highlighted the author’s tense, dark-eyed glare. In 2012, he announced that he had stopped writing fiction and would instead dedicate himself to helping biographer Blake Bailey complete his life story, one he openly wished would not come out while he was alive. By 2015, he had retired from public life altogether.
Roth began his career in rebellion against the conformity of the 1950s and ended it in defense of the security of the 1940s; he was never warmer than when writing about his childhood, or more sorrowful, and enraged, than when narrating the betrayal of innocence lost.
Acclaim and controversy were inseparable. His debut collection, published in 1959, was “Goodbye, Columbus,” featuring a love (and lust) title story about a working-class Jew and his wealthier girlfriend. It brought the writer a National Book Award and some extra-literary criticism. The aunt of the main character, Neil Klugman, is a meddling worrywart, and the upper-middle-class relatives of Neil’s girlfriend are satirized as shallow materialists. Roth believed he was simply writing about people he knew, but some Jews saw him as a traitor, subjecting his brethren to ridicule before the gentile world. A rabbi accused him of distorting the lives of Orthodox Jews. At a writers conference in the early 1960s, he was relentlessly accused of creating stories that affirmed the worst Nazi stereotypes.
But Roth insisted writing should express, not sanitize. After two relatively tame novels, “Letting Go” and “When She was Good,” he abandoned his good manners with “Portnoy’s Complaint,” his ode to blasphemy against the “unholy trinity of “father, mother and Jewish son.” Published in 1969, a great year for rebellion, it was an event, a birth, a summation, Roth’s triumph over “the awesome graduate school authority of Henry James,” as if history’s lid had blown open and out erupted a generation of Jewish guilt and desire.
As narrated by Alexander Portnoy, from a psychiatrist’s couch, Roth’s novel satirized the dull expectations heaped upon “nice Jewish boys” and immortalized the most ribald manifestations of sexual obsession. His manic tour of one man’s onanistic adventures led Jacqueline Susann to comment that “Philip Roth is a good writer, but I wouldn’t want to shake hands with him.” Although “Portnoy’s Complaint” was banned in Australia and attacked by Scholem and others, many critics welcomed the novel as a declaration of creative freedom. “Portnoy’s Complaint” sold millions, making Roth wealthy, and, more important, famous. The writer, an observer by nature, was now observed. He was an item in gossip columns, a name debated at parties. Strangers called out to him in the streets. Roth would remember hailing a taxi and, seeing that the driver’s last name was Portnoy, commiserating over the book’s notoriety.
With Roth finding himself asked whether he really was Portnoy, several of his post-Portnoy novels amounted to a dare: is it fact of fiction? In “The Anatomy Lesson,” ”The Counterlife” and other novels, the featured character is a Jewish writer from New Jersey named Nathan Zuckerman. He is a man of similar age to Roth who just happened to have written a “dirty” best seller, “Carnovsky,” and is lectured by friends and family for putting their lives into his books.
In the 1990s, he reconnected with the larger world and culture of his native country. “American Pastoral” narrated a decent man’s decline from high school sports star to victim of the ’60s and the “indigenous American berserk.” In “The Human Stain,” he raged against the impeachment of President Bill Clinton over his affair with a White House intern. “The fantasy of purity is appalling. It’s insane,” he wrote. Near the end of his writing life, Roth was increasingly preoccupied with history and its sucker punch, how ordinary people were defeated by events beyond their control, like the Jews in “The Plot Against America” or the college student in “Indignation” who dies in the Korean War.
“The most beautiful word in the English language,” Roth wrote, “‘In-dig-na-tion!'”
By HILLEL ITALIE , By Associated Press – published on STL.News by St. Louis Media, LLC(R.A)
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