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legendofzeldaalinktothepast · 3 years

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Pathetic, Clinging Poetry - Chapter 14 (of 25)

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Pearl rested her elbows against the windowsill as she gazed out at the bright blue sky. The view from this new house was lovely; that was one thing Whitney hadn't lied about. They had a fair amount of land -- Pearl had a feeling her mother was planning to start a garden -- and there was a thick patch of woods just within walking distance; the tree branches were bare and coated with ice, but Pearl knew they'd be even more beautiful in the spring. Despite all of the beauty laying just before her, Pearl's heart still ached. She couldn't bring herself to smile at the sunny blue sky, or the squirrel scurrying through the patches of snow in the yard, or the opportunity to explore those woods... She knew why she was here, and all the nature in the world could never compensate for what she'd left behind.

Taking a deep breath, Pearl laid back against her pillow. The composition notebook lay on the other side of her bed, but there mere sight of it only made her even more nauseous. She kicked it in a fit of frustration, and it slid down into the gap between her bed and the wall.

Knock knock. Pearl instinctively bolted upright as the door creaked open. To her relief, it was only Peony.

"Aren't you ever going to come out?" Peony whined. "I know you're sad, but I've been so bored lately... Besides, it's not good to stay cooped up in here all day."

Pearl huffed. "What is there to do?" she grumbled. "I don't even know anybody in this stupid town, and probably never will."

"Well, you have me..." Peony said, looking rather disappointed.

Pearl forced a smile. "I know, I know... Look, we can... go for a walk or something, if you really are that bored."

"Yes, I'd love to!" Peony immediately brightened up.

The two girls made their way downstairs, slipping into their winter coats and boots before heading towards the back door. "Be back in a while, mom!" Peony called. "We're just going for a walk."

"Alright, be safe, girls!" Whitney called back. The mere sound of her voice made Pearl cringe, and she hurried out the door without another word. Rolling her eyes, Peony followed close behind.

"I don't know how you can even look her in the eye anymore..." Pearl said, shoving her hands into her pockets as she walked through the muddy grass, the ground squeaking beneath her boots.

"Because she's our mom." Peony stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides... While I do wish we could have stayed back in Beach City, you can't deny that there were a lot of... negative influences back there."

Pearl shot her a glare, which made Peony tense. "Look, all I'm saying is... Mom's doing what she thinks is best for us." Peony continued, turning her gaze up towards the sky. "I don't fully understand all of it... but that doesn't mean she's wrong."

"If you don't even understand it, then how do you know she's right?" Pearl huffed.

Peony lifted the bottom of her ankle-length skirt as she stepped over a pile of snow, not wanting to get it wet. "Well... I don't really know, I guess." Peony shrugged. "But... I do know that God has a plan for both of us. If we weren't meant to be where we are right now, we wouldn't be here. He would've stopped us from coming here somehow."

Pearl blinked away tears. "What if..." she began, her voice cracking. "What if mom is doing the wrong thing? What if she's outright disobeying God? What if she's just selfish and controlling and it has nothing to do with whatever God wants? Have you considered that, Peony?"

"I..." Peony clenched her fists. "I... I don't know, Pearl. Maybe I shouldn't have brought this up."

"I just want to go home." Pearl choked, cupping her hands over her face. "I just want my friends back... I'm never going to see them again, Peony! I can't do this..." She finally broke down. Peony stood beside her in silence, struggling to think of something, anything she could say that would comfort her sister... But it seemed like everything she'd said these past few minutes only made things worse.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence (aside from Pearl's sobbing), Peony approached Pearl and gave her a gentle hug. "I know... I'm sorry.”

Pearl stretched her arms as she sat upright, drawing in a deep breath. Once she'd rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she glanced down towards Amethyst and smiled warmly. A tiny bit of hair had grown on her chin overnight; Pearl gave it a cautious stroke, not wanting to wake Amethyst, but still loving the feeling of her scruffy chin. 'So cute...' Once she'd finally pulled her gaze away from Amethyst, Pearl rose from the bed and tiptoed over to the basket of folded laundry, deciding to put together her outfit for the day.

Amethyst rolled over onto her side. "Hey." she greeted, smiling at Pearl with a sleepy expression in her eyes.

"Good morning." Pearl responded as she slipped out of her pajamas. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"Nah, was already starting to wake up." Amethyst said, smiling as she admired the view. Over the past few weeks, Pearl had grown more comfortable undressing in front of Amethyst, and while she knew she wasn't ready for any kind of intimacy beyond kissing and bed sharing, she still couldn't keep her eyes off of Pearl's beautiful figure.

"That's good." Pearl slipped into one of her knee-length skirts, smoothing it out with her hands.

"Hey... not to be nosy, but just wondering; do you own any pants?" Amethyst asked. "I've just noticed you only ever wear skirts. I've always been curious about that."

"Oh... I guess not." Pearl smiled awkwardly. "I was raised a conservative Pentecostal. Almost none of the women at our church wore pants, just long skirts and dresses. It's a way of being modest and feminine, I guess. It's something I never really thought too much about."

"Hmm, I get ya." Amethyst said as she sat upright. "Well... Are you still, uh, a conservative Pentecostal?"

Pearl shook her head. "Definitely not. I mean... I still believe in God, but... not the way I was raised to, at least." Pearl buttoned up her blouse and tucked it into her skirt, looking herself over in the mirror. "I guess I just... never really thought much of it. I kind of forgot what it's like to wear pants, in all honesty, so I've never had any desire to change my wardrobe. That's not strange, is it?"

"No, not really." Amethyst said. "I was just curious. But ya know... If you ever decide you wanna change things up, I'll be glad to help you. I've got plenty of experience with that."

Pearl smiled. "Oh, you do?"

"Yeah. And I've done it more times than I can count." Amethyst reached for her brush on the nightstand and began to smooth out the knots in her hair. "Like, when I first realized I was a girl, I thought I had to be super feminine for anyone to take me seriously. I wore skirts and dresses and pink stuff and all that shit, I even shaved my legs and wore a face full of makeup... And then I realized, hey, this sucks. I don't have to do all that shit to be a girl."

"I see..." Pearl said, reaching for the brush once Amethyst was finished and smoothing out her own hair.

"Yeah." Amethyst said. "So at one point, I realized that like... I don't have to be girly to be a girl. Sure, I like a little eyeliner and lipgloss now and then, I even paint my nails sometimes -- but I also like being hairy and wearing flannels and tank tops. And I became a lot more comfortable with being a girl once I realized that." Amethyst shrugged. "I dunno, you don't have to, but... You ever consider trying out a new style? Doesn't even have to be a manly one, could just be a different kind of feminine. Just to help you move past the way you were raised."

"Maybe..." Pearl shrugged, blushing as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "At the very least, I should get a haircut. It's getting a bit too long for my liking. And perhaps I could try out some new clothes at the mall... Maybe go wild and give pants a try, ha!"

"Oooh, I see where this is going!" Amethyst jumped to her feet. "Let's go out to the mall with the girls today! I need to re-dye my hair, anyway." she said, gesturing to the black roots on her scalp.

"Aw, well..." Pearl blushed. "I guess that could be fun... I haven't seen Garnet and Peridot in quite a while, have I?"

"You sure haven't!" Amethyst grinned. "I'll text Dot and Garnet! They'll be sooo excited to see you again!"

"You're sure they won't be annoyed with me?" Pearl said. "I still feel terrible for not showing up to our last mall date..."

"Nah, they'll totally understand! They know you had stuff going on, and they could tell you were shy, anyway." Amethyst said with a wink, fishing her phone out from underneath the blankets and sending out a text to Peridot and Garnet. "Besides, you're the mom friend of the group. Peridot needs you around if she finds another centipede in her shower."

Pearl burst into laughter. "I guess that's true, isn't it? I'm still so proud of that."

"Aaah, this is gonna be so fun!" Amethyst bounced with excitement. "How do you think you'll get your hair cut? You wanna go risky and get a buzzcut? Maybe even dye it a wild color like mine?"

"I'm not sure I'd go that far..." Pearl brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I think I'm fairly content with my natural strawberry blonde. I honestly just want a trim so it doesn't look like an awkward bob anymore."

"Aww, but you'd look soooo cute with some pink highlights..." Amethyst pouted. "I won't push, though. No matter what you get done, it's gonna be a great time, and you'll look hot!"

Pearl beamed. "Yeah! It'll be lots of fun." she said, grabbing her deodorant and toothbrush from her backpack. Even though she'd been living there for a few months, now, she still couldn't break the habit of keeping all of her belongings in her bag. "Well, guess I should finish getting myself cleaned up... Be right back!" she said, heading off to the bathroom.

The mall was filled with the sounds of chattering, music, and children running around and laughing in the play area. Pearl walked a few steps behind the other three girls -- at least until Amethyst reached back and nudged her forward. "Keep up, princess!" she teased. "Want me to hold your hand so you don't fall behind?"

"Ah, um, sure!" Pearl blushed; she noticed Peridot and Garnet grinning at the sight of this, but neither of them said anything, to Pearl's relief.

"Have you decided what you'll be doing with your hair?" Garnet asked.

"Not entirely sure... But I certainly want it shorter than this." Pearl said, blowing away a strand of hair that had started to fall onto her face. "It's in that awkward stage where it's constantly in the way, but too short to put in a ponytail."

"I was thinking of getting some pink and blue highlights." Garnet said, turning to Peridot and ruffling her hair. "And this little butch is probably going to sit and read a magazine, aren't you?"

"You bet your ass I am!" Peridot said. "I cut and dye my own hair."

"I don't blame you." Pearl reassured. "I've had so many horrible experiences with getting my hair done, too; I was lucky my mother let me cut it as short as she did, but she always told the stylist to make sure I didn't look like a boy or a lesbian."

"I'll tell the stylist to make you look extra lesbian if you want." Amethyst teased.

Pearl giggled. "No need for that. I just want a trim, that's all."

"Yeah, I know. Just saying, though, you'd look really cute if you got something super short." Amethyst said. "Not that you're not already cute as fuck."

"Maybe I will..." Pearl said, blushing a little bit. "Y-you're pretty cute yourself, too."

"You're cuter." Amethyst whispered, pressing a kiss to Pearl's knuckles. Before their playful flirting could continue any longer, they'd reached the hair salon. As they walked in and seated themselves in the waiting room, Pearl couldn't help but notice the heavy scent of hairspray and shampoo in the air. Reaching for one of the magazines in the basket, she flipped through the pages in search of some ideas. Amethyst's suggestion, however, didn't seem to be leaving her head anytime soon... 'Perhaps I could get the short and risky haircut my mother would definitely disapprove of.' she thought with a growing smile.

"Hmm, what do you think?" Amethyst asked, gesturing to a picture in the magazine she was holding. "I was thinking of just getting my purple re-done, but I think some silver streaks would look pretty cool, too!"

"Ohh, you're right!" Pearl beamed. "That would look lovely on you! I say you should go for it."

"I think I will." Amethyst grinned, setting the magazine aside but leaving it open on that particular page. "How about you? Any styles catch your eye?"

"None in particular, but..." Pearl flipped through the magazine and hummed with thought. "I think I might end up going with your idea after all. I want to go super short! Maybe an undercut of some kind."

"Hell yeah, that's the spirit!" Amethyst gave Pearl a playful nudge. "But only if you want to, alright? I might've been a little pushy about it..."

"Not at all. In fact, I think it's just the push I needed!" Pearl beamed, pressing a gentle kiss to Amethyst's forehead.

"Alright, good to hear." Amethyst returned the kiss. She reached for Pearl's hand and gently tangled their fingers together, letting out a sigh of content as she rested her head against her shoulder.

Once they left the salon, Pearl couldn't keep her fingers out of her hair; not only was it soft from being shampooed, but the feeling of the freshly buzzed hair on the side of her head felt so lovely on her fingers. In the end, she'd decided on a short undercut; trimmed just enough to keep her hair out of her face, but long enough so that she could still run her fingers through it.

As they passed the various stores throughout the mall, Pearl caught the occasional glimpse of herself in the reflection of the glass windows. 'I look... boyish.' she thought, her heart racing. 'Especially when I'm holding hands with Amethyst...' But for some strange reason, that thought almost excited her.

As they entered one of the clothing stores, Amethyst immediately began bouncing with excitement. "Ohh, you'd look really cute in that!" Amethyst said, gesturing to one of the mannequins. It was wearing dark green overalls with a minty green striped blouse underneath.

"You think so?" Pearl blushed.

"Totally!" Amethyst said. "You wanna try it on?"

"Ah, sure! I don't see why not." Pearl said, searching through the clothing rack to make sure the outfit was in her size. Once she found it, she turned her gaze back to Amethyst. "But since I'm trying this on, I want to pick out an outfit for you as well!"

"Oh yeah?" Amethyst grinned.

"Yep!" Pearl said. "Ah, let's see..." She glanced around the store for some kind of inspiration; Garnet was looking through the array of hair clips and sunglasses, while Peridot stood nearby on her phone, probably playing that one Pokemon game she was always talking about. She then glanced towards the lingerie section, but immediately averted her eyes. 'No, no, not that!' she thought, blushing at the mere idea of telling Amethyst to try on lingerie for her -- and in public at that!

"You good?" Amethyst asked, noticing the blush on Pearl's face.

"Yes! Um..." Not wanting Amethyst to know about the thought she'd just had, Pearl turned and pointed at the first outfit she saw; it was a short, black sundress with a pink flower pattern. "That'd look lovely on you! Oh, wait..." Pearl blushed. "Sorry, I forgot you didn't like dresses."

"Hey, I'm not opposed to them." Amethyst said. "Just don't like wearing them all the time. But nothing wrong with putting on a dress for a little fashion show." she added with a wink.

"We're having a fashion show now?" Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"Ooh, that sounds fun! I want to pick out your outfit!" Garnet exclaimed, clasping her hands together with excitement.

"So that means I'll be picking out yours... I hope you're ready to look like a clown." Peridot snorted.

"Aw, hush, I'm sure you could put together something nice!" Garnet patted Peridot on the back.

"You two nerds go pick out each others outfits while me and Pearl try ours on." Amethyst said with a grin, grabbing Pearl's hand and leading her towards the women's dressing room. Beaming with excitement, Pearl closed the door behind herself and locked it. 'Never thought this bunch would be the type to have a fashion show at the mall...' Pearl thought as she undressed.

As she reached for the pair of overalls, she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror. 'I'm so scrawny...' she thought, staring at her flat chest and the way her ribs protruded from her torso. While it certainly wasn't news to her, she still couldn't help feeling a little bit self conscious every now and then; a combination of a fast metabolism, a picky appetite, and genetics all contributed to her being so thin. But she remembered the way Amethyst held her whenever she slept in her bed, kissing her and telling her how lovely she looked, and she couldn't help but smile again.

Pearl slipped into the overalls; the way they hugged her legs felt... strange, somewhat foreign, but not necessarily in a bad way. She then buttoned up the pretty green blouse and tucked it in, fastening the suspenders over her shoulders. She slipped back into her shoes and looked at herself in the mirror once more, a slight blush on her cheeks. 'Goodness... I look more boyish than ever.' she thought. Pearl found herself staring at her reflection for a few moments, unable to hide the happy feeling bubbling up inside of her. The word Garnet had used to describe Peridot earlier that day -- butch -- ran through her mind, and a smile spread across her face. But she shook off the silly feeling, remembering it was just a little game of dressup, and that she'd have to change back into her more feminine clothes soon. Still, the joy in her chest lingered as she unlocked the dressing room door and stepped out into the store.

Garnet and Peridot were sitting in the chairs just outside the dressing room, and they applauded as Pearl walked out.

"Woohoo, you look cute as hell!" Peridot cheered.

"Very nice." Garnet added with a warm smile. "It suits you so well."

"Aww, thanks." Pearl blushed, shoving her hands into the big front pocket. "I sort of wish I had the money for it... Amethyst only had enough to pay for my haircut, unfortunately."

"I could buy it for you, if you'd like." Garnet said.

"Ah, I could never make you do that! I don't know when or if I'll be able to pay you back..." Pearl smiled sadly. "It's very kind of you to offer, though."

"Your birthday is in June, isn't it?" Garnet asked, tilting her head. "Consider it an early birthday gift."

"Ah... well, thank you." Pearl blushed. She honestly didn't remember telling Garnet her birthday -- maybe Amethyst had mentioned it at some point? "Only if you're sure it's alright."

"I am! You look lovely in it, you deserve to wear it more than once." Garnet reassured. "Amethyst, are you almost done?" she added, glancing over towards the other dressing room.

"Yeah, just a sec!" Amethyst called. "Just, uh -- Pearl, could you come in and help me with this zipper in the back?"

"Oh, sure thing!" Pearl said. She headed into the dressing room and locked the door behind herself once she was in. "Let me see."

"Thanks, P. Zippers are always a pain in the ass." Amethyst said, turning her back towards Pearl and moving her long hair over her shoulder. Pearl reached for the zipper and gave it a gentle tug, sliding it up with ease. "There we go!" Pearl clasped her hands together.

"Thanks." Amethyst said, grinning as she turned around to face Pearl. "And since you came in to my rescue, you get to be the first one to see me in this dress." she said, flipping her hair dramatically. "How's it look?"

"It's lovely..." Pearl said, admiring the way the dress framed her chubby figure.

"You think so, huh?" Amethyst whispered, standing up on her tippy toes. "Because I think you look just as good... Maybe even better. Look at you, stepping outta your comfort zone and letting yourself be a tomboy..." Amethyst licked her lips, slowly casting her gaze down towards Pearl's mouth.

Pearl stared into her eyes, taking a moment to process just what Amethyst was silently begging for. Once it clicked, Pearl immediately complied; she pressed a soft kiss to her plump lips, letting out a quiet groan as Amethyst gripped onto her shoulders and pinned her against the wall.

Her cheeks burning, Pearl ran her fingers through Amethyst's hair; normally it was soft, yet filled with a handful of tangles, but after their visit to the salon it was smoother than silk. Pearl found her hands slowly inching downwards, but stopped at Amethyst's hips once she remembered they were in a public dressing room. As their lips parted, Pearl panted softly and wiped a bit of saliva away from her mouth.

"Goodness gracious..." she breathed.

"Heh... I swear that wasn't the original plan." Amethyst whispered. "Really just wanted help with my zipper, but... You looked so dang hot, had to get a taste..."

"Mhm, sure it wasn't." Pearl winked. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed out her blouse and re-adjusted her suspenders.

"Well... Guess we should head out. We got a fashion show to attend." Amethyst winked back, stepping out into the store again before Pearl could even say anything else. After looking herself over in the mirror to make sure her face wasn't too red (it was), she soon followed.

"No dirty jokes, we just took a while because my zipper just got stuck, I swear." Amethyst said to Garnet and Peridot.

"We weren't going to make any." Peridot rolled her eyes.

"I was." Garnet snorted. "But anyway, the colors of the dress really compliment your hair."

"Yeah. Why don't you wear dresses more often?" Peridot said, resting her chin in her hands.

"I dunno. Just like pants more, I guess... But maybe I'll end up buying this one, it's pretty comfy. Nice and breezy for when it gets hot outside, too. What do you think, Pearl?" Amethyst turned to Pearl.

"Well, if you think you'll wear it, I say you should buy it!" Pearl said.

"Maybe I will." Amethyst said, strutting over towards Peridot and Garnet. "Now get your butts up and try on your outfits! Me and Pierogi wanna see a fashion show, too!"

"Alright, let's get this over with!" Peridot announced as she rose to her feet. "I hope my selection for you was decent..."

"I'm sure it is." Garnet said, making her way towards the dressing room.

As the two girls changed into their outfits, Pearl leaned back in the chair and relaxed, slowly reaching for Amethyst's hand and tangling their fingers together. Amethyst squeezed Pearl's hand tight, giving her knuckles a kiss and gazing into her eyes with a soft expression. "Hey..." she said, smiling softly.

"Hi there." Pearl whispered, pressing a kiss to Amethyst's knuckles as well. "While I am enjoying our little fashion show... I do wish we could have stayed in that dressing room just a moment longer."

"Aw, you liked that lil makeout session we had in there, didn't you?" Amethyst teased, booping Pearl's nose with her free hand. She tensed for a moment, glancing around the area to make sure nobody was standing nearby before leaning in and kissing Pearl on the lips once more. "There's plenty more where that came from."

The locks on the dressing rooms clicked, and Pearl immediately pulled her gaze away from Amethyst's face -- but she kept her grip tight on Amethyst's hand.

Peridot and Garnet both stepped out in their respective outfits; Peridot was dressed in a slightly-too-big button up shirt with some dress pants, and Garnet was in a white tank top with a pink sweater on top, and a black-and-white striped maxi skirt. The latter twirled around to show off her skirt, a huge grin on her face before she turned to Peridot. "Tuck your shirt in, it'll look nicer that way!"

Peridot blushed, tucking the baggy shirt into her jeans. "Hmf, if you insist." she mumbled. "Can I put my shorts back on now?"

"Aww, but you look so handsome in that!" Pearl cooed, clasping her hands together.

Peridot buried her face into her hands and grumbled incoherently. Pearl wasn't quite sure what to make of that response, but once she saw the slight smile from between Peridot's fingers, she relaxed and smiled as well.

"Maybe we should head out soon. As cute as she looks, we all know fashion shows aren't really Dot's thing." Amethyst said.

"That's true." Garnet gave Peridot a playful nudge. "Do you want go to the pet store and play with the dogs?"

"Hell yeah!" Peridot cheered, zooming right back into the dressing room to change back into her clothes before anyone could say anything else.

'Guess the fashion show is over... That went by quick.' Pearl thought. She made her way back towards the dressing rooms and retrieved her blouse and skirt, changing back into them. As much as she'd loved wearing the overalls, she still felt a strange sense of relief when she changed back into her more feminine, "ladylike" clothing.

As Pearl began settling in for bed that night, she changed into her nightgown and brushed her hair like she always did; she noticed the way her brush went through her short hair with ease. With a sigh of content, she laid down on the bed and adjusted herself beneath the blankets as she got comfortable.

"You're really liking that new haircut, aren't you?" Amethyst remarked, running her fingers across Pearl's scalp as she snuggled up to her.

"Mhm... It's so fun to play with." Pearl mumbled sleepily. She buried her face into the top of Amethyst's head and took in the lingering scent of her shampoo. Pearl let out another happy sigh as she played with her hair and twirled it around her fingers. "Thank you for taking me out to get it done... I guess I needed it more than I realized."

"Aw, well, I love spoiling you." Amethyst smiled warmly, kissing Pearl on the cheek. "By the way, uh... I guess there's something I wanted to talk about."

"Hm?" Pearl asked. Normally that kind of preface would send her anxiety up to the sky, but the tone in Amethyst's voice reassured her that it wasn't going to be anything bad.

"I was wondering... I know you said you weren't too sure about what we are right now..." Amethyst began. "But... I dunno. I think, if you're comfortable with it... We kinda already are girlfriends at this point, you know? I know you said you're more comfortable calling us friends that kiss each other, and if you wanna stick with that, we can, but... I think, in a way, that's kind of what girlfriends are." Feeling a little bit shy, Amethyst averted her gaze. "I dunno... What do you think?"

Pearl took a moment to ponder Amethyst's suggestion, running her fingers through Amethyst's silky hair. "Perhaps you're right... The world girlfriend has always felt so... heavy to me. Like I'm committing to something huge, and permanent, and that we'll either get married or... or have a painful breakup." Pearl shuddered. "But... perhaps it doesn't have to be like that. I think... the way you described girlfriend is so much more comfortable to me, so... I think, maybe... I am your girlfriend, Amethyst. No matter what we call it, I want to stay like this with you."

"I wanna stay like this, too." Amethyst whispered. She cupped Pearl's cheeks and brought their lips together in a long, soft kiss.

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