#the first doodle was really fun bc i like drawing hands (<- insane)
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mmm Styleman for the ask game? (Stan, Kyle, and Cartman)
The ask game in question
I have actually already done Kyle
Stan:
Sexuality Headcanon: Oh he’s bi. Don’t have much explanation for it. It’s just that he is.
Gender Headcanon: Oh he goes by He/she but I don’t think he goes by any labels for it. He just lets it exist I guess. He also dresses pretty androgynous but like what I mean by that is just he wears graphic tees and jeans.
A ship I have with said character: Besides styleman and stylennyman I also like Stutters, and Stolkien. Both are very cute ships that don’t get talked about often.
A BROTP I have with said character: Besides the ultimate brotp that is Style I like the idea of Craig and Stan having a bit of a friendly rivalry. I think that’s fun.
A NOTP I have with said character: I don’t have one for him. A lot of the ships I seen with him are pretty solid
A random headcanon: He listens to Prince daddy and the hyena. He tried to get Kyle into once but Kyle ended up calling it garbage to his face.
General Opinion over said character: I use to think he was really boring and couldn’t pinpoint what the hell his personality was when I was doing my sp binge but as I continued I contemplated his character a lot more and now I really like him. Not my favorite character but I like him. I’m actually extremely mentally ill about him. It’s insane
Cartman:
Sexuality Headcanon: Oh this homie is gay. He’s very repressed and has tons of internalized homophobia but he’s definitely gay like can’t see him in any other way.
Gender Headcanon: I think gender is interesting for him bc I feel like he’s genderfluid but he has no idea what that is. As long as he says that is what he’s going by that is what he is right now. Only really changes his pronouns though to exploit some sort of system like in cissy. I can also see him as just cis. Never questioning never changing.
A ship I have with said character: I have quite a lot actually but I’m only saying three. Clydeman, Stanman and kenman. All three of these are so good but I don’t see much about them especially Clydeman which I adore. Oh never forgot kyman my absolute favorite ship.
A BROTP I have with said character: I love platonic kenman their friendship is actually is the thing that stood out to me the most when first bingeing sp more than any other friendship. I also enjoy him and Jimmy. They seem like good buds. Also him and Bebe being gossip buddies is a fun concept.
A NOTP I have with said character: I said this before but the only Cartman ships I’m iffy on is Candy and Buttman.
A random headcanon: He keeps a little sketchbook to doodle in class and if he actually tries he can draw well but he never actually does.
General Opinion over said character: What can I say I love him. He’s my second favorite character. He’s like a science experience and I want to look at him under a microscope or punt him bc I also hate him. Everytime I watch an episode with him in it I get second hand embarrassment. God I can’t with him.
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vent about having my accomplishments undermined
just feeling melancholy today about smth that happened literally 12 years ago, that has ended up still sticking with me today. it kinda sent me on this spiral of thinking about other scenarios like it and how often ive been trapped with people who treat me like this.
see, back in 2012, i went to my first and only ever convention. I've never gone to another mostly bc ive struggled financially all my life and can't afford the tickets for such a social luxury that im too anxious to even properly enjoy. but, its also bc of how... conflicting my first experience was. there was a panel for pokemon fans basically, which my friends was excited to bring me to, and during this panel, they held a tiny little drawing contest. it was like, you got small dry erase boards, and 15 seconds to draw the pokemon described. being an artist and also young (still in high school), i was super pumped to volunteer for it- i have always had very extreme stage fright, as evidenced by me being red as hell and sweating the whole time, but i powered through that for the sake of having fun in my Element. the final challenge was a 60 second chance to doodle mewtwo, and this was right when the y mega was revealed so i went with that, and the crows went insane. i won the contest, by a landslide, and it was such a genuinely amazing and unbelievable moment in my life. it was just a stupid local 15 second drawing contest with a small crowd of people, but hearing everyone be so excited about my art was so. just incredible.
but... afterwards... the friend who brought me there, while i was excited and celebrating that id actually, yknow, won something for the first time in my life, instead just. told me "well it wasnt really fair bc those other people weren't actually real artists like you are"
and that completely took the wind out of my sails. it crushed me. i felt like i had cheated, like i had stolen a victory from people more deserving, and that i should've never have raised my hand to begin with. id won a little prize from it but couldn't even feel all that happy about it. i felt like i didnt deserve it. i felt like people were mad at me for being decent at art
12 years, and that experience has still stuck with me. i remembered it bc my job is doing this funny little "daily stretching" challenge, and i was going to sign up for it bc i already stretch all throughout my work day, but i ended up holding myself back. bc i thought, well, is it really fair when i already do this as a daily habit? this challenge is to get people who don't stretch often to do it more, and reward them for it. would it be right to reward someone who doesn't need the extra push?
so i didn't. i thought itd be unfair. i thought people would be mad at me if i won bc i have such an advantage already.
and its just sent me down this spiral of remembering all the times ex-friends and past abusers have done this. how I've never been able to just feel proud of myself or happy that ive accomplished something or that im even just decent and capable at whatever the thing is. i can't talk about my meta-raised pokemon bc it isn't impressive when meta specialized mons plow through things. i can't talk about my art getting big numbers bc it isn't impressive when you bandwagon something and it gets spread around bc of that. i can't talk about defeating a tough monster in monhun bc its just my leveled up equipment carrying me. I'm not allowed to be good at anything, bc I'm either just cheating or i dont deserve the win bc i work harder than others. and me winning makes everyone mad that they didn't win instead
so i just accepted being a loser. being stupid. being bad at everything. bc it was easier to be a loser and let my friends always beat me at everything than to make a loser out of my friends, even though i was never trying to compete to begin with, i just wanted to have fun. but I'm not allowed to have fun bc me having fun makes other people upset and mad. and that sucks. id rather just lose. then everyone else can be happy
but. yknow. obviously that's not healthy. and what it ended up leading to was me just, isolating. i didn't wanna show my art to people anymore, i didn't wanna play games with anyone, i didn't want anyone to see me and be negatively affected by my existence. so i just started doing things by myself, and trying to live off self-sustained validation and happiness. and there is some merit to learning how to validate yourself and make yourself happy, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your ability to socialize entirely.
bc the problem was never with me. it was the people i was surrounded by. bc real friends talk you up, cheer you on, and celebrate your accomplishments. they dont see themselves as losers just bc you've won, they see themselves as teammates who have won simply bc you're happy. they don't make life a competition. that's how friendships are supposed to be. it was never about there being something wrong with me. i wasn't the problem
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For the character ask: Razputin Aquato!!! :D
First impression:
This is a hard one bc my first impression was from 2009, but I thiiiiiink beyond the initial "WOW ITS INVADER ZIM" hype my impression must have been something like thinking Raz is cool and funny? One of the earliest drawings I can remember doodling of him were Raz surrounded by the hand of galochio and Raz reading his camp pamphlet while sittin on a lev ball so I can assume my fascination with him did start at "he's got some interesting issues going on" even if I wasn't particularly good at expressing these thoughts or thinking too hard about him at the time.
Impression now:
What a fun, stellar kid character. He's funny, he's a little stinker, he's dedicated to what he believes in, he makes mistakes, he both acts wise beyond his years and just like a 10 year old. He's a wonderful protagonist and I think he's truly the heart of what makes the game shine, he has a heart and humor he brings into the levels that I think the games would be lacking without.
Favorite moment:
There's soooo many great moments with Raz... hard to pick a favorite! But I think a moment where Raz, the boy, shines is when he's first meeting the mote of light. Here he is standing in front of the remnants of this person that to him is some random nobody from Otto's brain bin, and his first instinct is to talk gently, and follow him around, and figure out a way he could help. He isn't even actively trying to in that moment, but he exemplifies the qualities of a true psychonaut (in Hollis' terms) there quite wonderfully.
Plus that moment really lets the character animation shine because all there is to work with is Raz, a Light Source, and a big Empty Black Box. His character animation is absolutely spectacular.
Idea for a story:
I think Raz bonding with his family could make for some sweet post-game story material!
Unpopular opinion:
I don't think Raz would ever unlock a maligula type fight or flight complex unless some INCREDIBLY non-canonical shit happened to him. Raz has insane mental defenses, which I'm sure will only get better with age, while Lucy's major weakness was that she had the mental defenses of a wet tissue due to her time opening her mind with her friends. It also just feels like it in some way misses the point of what an utter, huge and personally specific tragedy Maligula is for Lucy. Maligula is a part of her, not just anybody.
Favorite relationship:
Raz and his Father's bond has always gotten me to go 🥺 I've thought about the ending to the first game a lot and what it meant for a game to take Raz's dad and say "he's not evil, he's just a parent who's made some mistakes that Raz is justified in being mad about but they're still mistakes that can be rectified with time"
Augustus' dialogue with Raz in the second game is also all incredibly sincere and cute, "we psychics understand each other, right?" hits me good
Favorite headcanon:
His goggles help block out bright lights and his helmet blocks out sound because he's got sensory issues
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fic tag game
aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~! ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤
OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)
Name: cross-d-a
shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!
Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!!
(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
Fandoms:
oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha
Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!
Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!
My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou).
Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things.
I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤
But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it
Tropes:
Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS
I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha
I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha
Fic I spent most time on:
My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane.
The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically.
It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )
Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)
Favorite fic(s) you’ve written:
hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)
My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤
things we hunger for (Guardian)
My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.
the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)
Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.
Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!
the whispers of spirits (dmbj)
My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.
Honourable mention to:
One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)
This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.
Fic I spent least time on:
Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)
Longest fic:
hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....
Shortest fic:
Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.
Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks:
hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha
Fic you want to rewrite/expand on:
If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.
Share a bit of a WIP:
I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.
This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:
“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”
Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”
“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”
Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”
What?
Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.
He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.
Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.
But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:
“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”
Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.
Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—
“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”
The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—
“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.
Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.
“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”
and
Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”
“I-it’s true!”
Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”
“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”
“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.
Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”
“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”
Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”
Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.
aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤
Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
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Spidey’s #1 Fan - Peter Parker
word count: 2475
warnings: swearing
request: Can I get a Spiderman (Peter Parker) fanfic where they are best friends and then she finds out he's spiderman and gets embarrassed bc she always fangirled over him? Also happy anniversary!!
He wasn’t sure how to tell you. How to tell you he’d lost his third backpack this week. When he lost the first one, you took him back out shopping for a new one. And when he lost that one, you grew concerned as to why people were stealing his backpacks. And now, he knew he was going to have to give you a better explanation than a shoulder shrug.
Peter Parker has been your best friend since kindergarten. To say it was a beautiful meeting, would be a lie. You tripped and fell on his lego battleship. But, it did begin a sweet friendship. As well as a crush that started just aws soon as he saw the adorable (and blushing) face of the girl that had broken apart his battleship.
But now, rushing back to his apartment so he could change before you arrive, he wondered what the hell he was going to say.
You were wandering along the sidewalks, alone, because Peter left school early for an appointment. Usually the both of you walked together, but you didn’t mind being by yourself. You liked walking in Queens. Seeing the people who were either rushing, or taking their time, enjoying the scene like you.
Peter’s apartment was your go to place to hang out. Usually the two of you would do your homework, watch some tv, you’d talk to May about your day and Peter would beg you to pay more attention to him than his aunt. Ned would come over too sometimes, and you’d all have dinner together. It was always a comfortable, bully free environment. Bully free being the keyword that you appreciated most.
Midtown High wasn’t exactly the nicest place to go to school. The boys who didn’t pick on you, hit on you, and sometimes, it was both, You shuddered, thinking of Flash’s disgusting self. That boy had a tendency to either yank your ponytail or beg for your number. Sometimes you wondered if you’d even bother going to school if Peter and Ned weren’t there. It didn’t exactly seem worth it.
Peter Parker was always a dork. And not in a bad way, but it was very noticeable. Top of his class, having the credits to graduate when he was only a sophomore. Being on the Decathlon team, never leaving a question unanswered or a homework un-done, never failing any test, and speaking fluent Spanish (you loved that) he was simply known for being a genius. But while Midtown High was notorious for it’s science and tech courses, being smart, was no crown in the social status there. If you weren’t a cheerleader or a football player, then you might as well say goodbye to popularity.
But Peter was fully capable of being on the football team. Hell, he could play single handedly, and likely still win every game. Thanks to a little ‘incident’ that gave him super strength and the ability to shoot webs out of his wrists, he wasn’t the same Peter Parker anymore. Though, he acted like it. Because no one knew.
Except for Tony friggin Stark.
Oh, and also Ned. Who found out by accident a few weeks ago.
Peter ran his hand through his hair, rushing up the stairs to his apartment. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to tell you. Of course he wanted to, especially when you went on your long winded rants about how much you love Spiderman. How “Spiderman deserves better” and that he’s a “real hero” and how you were conspiring that he was a part of the Avengers. Peter loved when you told him your thoughts on the Avengers, and how you felt that Spiderman deserved a place on the team.
But he couldn't. Not only was he not allowed to, but it could put you into some serious danger, and he definitely didn’t want you to be a part of anything Spiderman was. It was just too risky. So he kept the secret.
When the knock on his door alerted him, he’d just thrown his suit into his closet and changed into regular clothes again.
“Peter? It’s me can I come in?” Your voice called, and he rushed over to open the door for you. You smiled at his flustered self, wondering why he looked so disheveled.
“H-hey y/n/n” You rose your brows as he stepped aside to let you in.
“What’s wrong? You look anxious” You asked worriedly, but he just shook his head, closing the door behind you.
“Anxious? Me? I’m always anxious wh-what’re you talking about?” You giggled as he spoke frantically, shaking your head at the boy.
“You’ll never change Peter Parker” You sighed, and set your backpack down on the floor before sitting by it. “So guess what? Want to hear the weirdest thing?”
“S-sure weird things are cool” Peter replied, sitting on the floor across from you.
“So today in Psych, I’d finished my notes and all right? So I figure hey, I’ve got some time to doodle. And I sketch out this- don’t judge me- I sketch out this picture of Spiderman” You told him, pulling your Psychology notebook out of your bookbag. “And then get this! I see him later today!”
Peter choked.
“Just swinging along, isn’t that crazy?” You asked, excitement in your voice as you handed Peter the book with your drawing in it. Peter stared adoringly at your pencil sketch, his heart beating uncontrollably in his chest.
“Yeah, that’s insane” He finally spoke, handing you back your book. You stared at it for a few moments before putting it away.
“Anyways, how was your appointment?”
“W-what? Oh right it uh… it was fine” Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Just a regular doctor’s check up and all… all that” He said, completely unsure of where he was going with this. You smiled and nodded.
“And did the doctor tell you anything concerning? Maybe told you an exposure to radiation suddenly gave you muscle this year?” You joked, and Peter rolled his eyes. You always messed with him about that.
“No, he didn’t, for your information” He replied sarcastically.
“Alright sure. I’ll just have to believe that you started working out”
“I have!” Peter replied defensively, making you laugh and roll your eyes playfully.
“Uh huh, sure Parker. Sure” You responded cheekily. And it was all fun and games, and you could believe that he was working out. There wasn’t exactly any other explanation. “You wanna watch Star Wars?”
The next hour was spent lying across the couch, legs strewn carelessly over Peter’s lap as he sat on one end. He was trying his best not to bounce his leg, he didn’t want you to think that he was uncomfortable by any means. And he wasn’t.
But this made his hands jittery. A little shaky, and he tried to keep it out of your sight, but of course you noticed.
“What’s up?” You asked gently, nodding towards his very obvious shaking hand. “You’re really off today Pete, are you sure everything’s alright?” He looked between you and his hands a few times, unsure of what to say. You sat up, putting your feet on the ground and moving to sit closer to him. “You can talk if you want, or not, I understand” You offered, placing a hand over his knee. “Do you want me to leave you alone?” You asked in a softer tone.
“Yeah… yeah I need to be alone for a bit” Peter muttered, hating himself for sending you away. But everytime you’re around, he can’t focus right, and it’s beginning to drive him crazy
“That’s fine” You smiled sweetly at him, and stood up. You left him in the room as you went to grab your things. When you came back, he was still sitting in the same place. You smiled sadly and walked over to him. “It’s okay Pete” You said, leaning over and kissing his cheek lightly. “Text me in a bit or something, alright?”
“Okay” He replied, and looked up to watch you go. His face completely pink from your kiss.
As soon as the door shut, he was rushing back to room to get his suit from the closet. He needed to get out of the house, clear his head.
You were walking home, just thinking to yourself and all the while wondering if you’d done something wrong. Peter’s been acting off for a while, that much was obvious. But you always figured that it was just because of all the stress on his shoulders. From the Stark Internship, to Decathlon, and just the regular workload at school, it was difficult. But now you couldn’t help but think it was your fault.
Sighing, you wrapped your arms around yourself, keeping your head down as you walked along the sidewalk. No one else was really out, most people still at work. But you didn’t mind walking alone. At least no one would see you sad expression as you dived deeper into your thoughts.
Maybe he didn’t want to be your friend anymore. Maybe he just didn’t like you anymore. Maybe he’d found out that you had a crush on him. Maybe-
Your train of thought was cut off as you were grabbed around the waist, and before you could fight back against the attacker, you were flying into the air.
“What the fuck!” You screamed, watching the ground get smaller and smaller below you. You looked up, and nearly choked.
Spiderman.
“What the fuck?” You squealed again, this time out of pure confusion as to why Spiderman would swing through and pick you up out of complete nowhere.
“You’re okay” A muffled voice said, and you found yourself believing him. Almost too easily.
He swung along the buildings a little further, the heavy wind in your face making your hair fly and eyes water, but you didn’t really mind. You just silently enjoyed this spontaneous moment.
He eventually stopped, and set you back on your feet on the roof of your high school. You looked around yourself, almost expecting to see someone jump out and yell “Syke!” but nothing happened.
“Um, what am I doing here?” You asked awkwardly.
“Sorry that was so random, I just… wanted to talk to you” Your brows rose and you blinked disbelievingly.
“Y-you want to talk to m-me?” You asked, pointing to your chest. What in the world would Spiderman want to talk to you about?
“Yeah I see you around a lot and uh… yeah” He replied. Your lips pulled into a slight smirk as you gave him a curious once over.
“Does Spiderman maybe have a crush…? I’m a sixteen year old girl you know that right?”
“Yeah I do-” He stopped himself when you startled slightly at his knowledge of you. “That sounded creepy uh… but yeah I know you. I think I know you pretty well” You crossed your arms over your chest, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Why don’t you take the mask off then?” You said. Spiderman hung his head down for a moment, before pulling the bottom up a little bit. But it didn’t even go any higher than his nose. “Well that doesn’t exactly help me with your identity now does it?” You questioned.
“I don’t want you to know it” He replied, and you somehow knew he was changing his voice on purpose. You stepped closer, noticing his hands fidgeting together. You quirked a brow at that before looking up at him.
“Why not?” You asked, growing more suspicious and curious by the second. “What’ve you got to lose?”
“I have already kidnapped you” He muttered, and you chuckled quietly to yourself.
“Yes, you have. Might as well tell me who you are” You shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve only got two friends”
“That’s not true” You looked at him with an amused surprise.
“Uh huh so you’re a complete stalker then?” You asked, and you could tell he was rolling his eyes behind that mask. And he was.
“No just… okay I promise I’ll tell you”
“Oh yeah? For what price?” You retorted sarcastically.
“Just… just let me- damnit” He grumbled to himself, but before you could speak up his gloved hands were cupping your cheeks and he was leaning down to press his exposed lips against yours. You squeaked slightly, but shut your eyes and leaned in against him. His kiss was soft and warm and this is what you thought melting felt like. You hummed, eyes still closed even as your lips parted.
“Peter if you wanted to kiss me you could’ve just asked” You whispered, reaching for the mask and pulling it completely up over his head. His messy locks of hair flopping over. The boy’s jaw fall open, shocked that you’d figured it out.
“How’d you- what? How’d you know?” He asked, dropping his hands from your face. You smiled back at him.
“You really thought I wouldn’t recognize your voice? Come on Pete” He smiled nervously back at you.
“So you’re not… mad?”
“Are you kidding? Of course not! You’re freaking Spiderman!” You squealed excitedly, and then a thought clicked in your mind. “Oh my God I’ve spent months fangirling about you… to you…” Peter laughed as you began to grow flustered, remembering all the times you went on vents on your thoughts about him.
“No way, that was the cutest thing, I loved every single thing you fangirled over” You blushed and laughed awkwardly.
“So, Spiderman has a crush on me?” You asked mischievously, and Peter bopped his head side to side in response.
“He sort of does, yes”
“Only sort of?” You asked, quirking your eyebrow a little.
“Okay maybe a lot” You giggled, and wrapped your arms up around his neck. “A really lot” He said in a softer tone. You bit down on your lip, peering up at him through your lashes.
“And kidnapping me was your best idea on telling me this?” You asked, the both of you laughing together. He leaned down slightly, his forehead pressed against yours.
“I love you so much, y/n” He said quietly, ending your giggling. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, all of this but…” He trailed off, and you closed your eyes as he wrapped his arms around your torso.
“I know” You whispered back, feeling content, and safe. And loved. “I love you too, Penis Parker” He chuckled bitterly, before leaning down once more and capturing your lips with his. You grinned, but kissed back anyways and held tightly to him.
“I’d like the fangirling to continue”
“Of course. I am your number one fan after all”
xoxo ~ jordie
#spider man: homecoming#peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker scenario#peter parker#spiderman#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine#spiderman scenario#spiderman fanfiction#Spider-Man: Homecoming
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