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#the bun to a dry one. like girl what's the point of getting a chili cheese dog if you're jus gonna do all tht..... jus get a hot dog.. 🤨
bylertruther ¡ 1 year
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sorry for being that guy but absolving a character of any and all flaws or accountability and ignoring the parts of canon that are proof that this character is (thankfully) complex and human aka capable of making mistakes and doing good and being smart in some ways and dumb in others and so on and so forth is just like. sorry but i always imagined that to be the most boring way to enjoy a character and yet.........................
#personally i love when characters are intelligent and idiotic and mean and kind and i like when something isn't their fault and when#sometimes it is very much their fault and so on and so forth blah blah. just like how ppl are in real life.#live and let live i don't care what anyone does unless it's hurting people and this isn't but in my eyes ......#it's like i've just watched someone be handed a beautiful delicious chili cheese dog and they go ''thank you'' but then proceed to#scrape off all of the chili cheese and wipe the wiener down with a napkin to get all the remaining seasoning off and then switch out#the bun to a dry one. like girl what's the point of getting a chili cheese dog if you're jus gonna do all tht..... jus get a hot dog.. 🤨#i think my fandom life would be so much easier if i enjoyed characters like dustin. or enjoyed media tht was 100% lighthearted all#the time with no fucked up characters in it. but alas.... i am forever fascinated by the cunty freakazoids.... 😔#the dichotomy tht exists within certain characters is The Point. you'd think tht ppl would be happy tht characters aren't one dimensional#but apparently that's what many someones actually prefer lol#i stay scrolling through the tags just scratching my head looking like my icon like girl............. whatter u talkin about....#i swear it rly makes me wanna jus go through whatever show it is this time and reblog their post with screenshots of all the scenes tht#contradict their bold statement#but im not THAT annoying so i jus sit and stew in silence.......... well. semi silence bc here i am talking abt it but—
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sugar-petals ¡ 5 years
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Your First Time With Yoongi
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warnings ⚠️ femdom!reader, bondage, slapping, masturbation, name-calling, cunnilingus, wow yoongi gets NASTY 
word count: 2.6k | hc
↳ ♡ NOTE › for anon who also inspired the ‘first kiss with yoongi’ post. look what you’ve done. writing this made me lose my cool. let’s dive right into it.
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you’ll probably be fooling around watching miscellaneous videos from your feed 
and sorting through some clothes for the upcoming friday dinner
at the cozy italian restaurant next door
when you see yoongi come home looking, maybe not concerned, but more lost in thought
it takes a day or more until you ask him about it
brooding yoongi always means he’s weighing the big decisions
that you already know
but how it could possibly be something sexual you didn’t expect at first
because the only thing he says is that your second monthiversary is coming up this sunday
you reply yoongi that’s such a funny term
he says yeah it just made him think
it takes another day until you realize that he’s been unobtrusive letting you read between the lines how you see fit
and make that decision vice versa
it is about time to bring the relationship to a next level
yoongi sees the way you look at him
the last few weeks were proof enough he was worth giving it a go. you both knew what you were in for
as of now, you did make out a little at hoseok’s last halloween party (yoongi was in such a cute ghost costume). and kissed a whole lot during your vacation in london all lovey-dovey. but you didn’t have a chat 
so you nudge him at breakfast. what about friday?
after going out, you’ll have a whole evening to talk things over at home. no stress no pressure
agreed says your boyfriend
friday comes, you get a nice spot at giorgio’s rooftop terrace restaurant
literally it’s perfect to set the tone, the night sky is clear
after splitting the bill on antipasti for you and chili pepper pizza for yoongi the mood is right for some intimate talk and there’s no wine needed
but not in front of giorgio’s other guests alright
you return home flirting
to sit in your tiny courtyard garden with the fairy lights on
as long as no mosquitoes show up you have a long and frank conversation with a lot of surprising turns...
monthiversary sex on sunday it is
three cheers on that!
yoongi is giddy all saturday long and takes ten minutes more in the bathroom than usual, and five more in the shower
as if he isn’t dapper and groomed already
sunday afternoon, you do feel your hands getting a little sweaty yourself
the time has come
this will be exciting
you both prepare the living room for the evening, equip the center table with everything needed, eat some light snacks and drink plenty of water beforehand
the sun sets boom a leonardo dicaprio dvd goes right into the player
you’re both comfy on the sofa, intertwined, it’s fucking cute
you feed yoongi some more pretzel sticks
he makes you laugh
and nuzzles into the nape of your neck cuz cat behavior
the atmosphere slowly changes when the movie does
with leo getting all frisky and sweaty on screen, yoongi’s hands also begin to fumble at your hips, your skirt
and eventually
with you just murmuring just enough hot ideas in his ears
slip down to spend their time caressing between your legs
yep yep
the party is getting started
his hands are only shaky until they find the right spot. 
a pianist is merely on edge until he hits his favorite key indeed. and yoongi is that pianist. 
you can tell by his movements how he considers you music. now let that sink in
you’re his favorite tune 
RIP panties. those huge bony fingers know how to soak them 
phew
they have endurance, too
you already know that this will be a passionate night
leo goes through twenty character arcs on screen while yoongi is still flicking those tips
really. getting. into it. stimulating you with one, two, three fingers at once, curling, rubbing, stroking, dipping
miss clit says thank you
no finger cramps in sight with mister ‘miraculous’ min yoongi
meanwhile, poor leo falls victim to the pause button
you repeat the safeword to each other
‘two’
(because second monthiversary ok)
and here we go
flustered yoongi sits up, you pulling that FG shirt off, him then leaning against the backrest of the couch with legs splayed laxly
you climbing on top face to face
hot hot hot
yoongi wants restraints, he said. restraints he gets. a dozen feet of loose hemp rope are waiting on the table already.
you bind his hands before the chest, mainly knotting the rope around the wrists with an extra simple tie that keeps it foolproof. 
you do have safety shears on the table also
it took some time to remember the knot but it was some interesting stuff to learn
and... we’re talking yoongi’s sexy hands
what won’t you do just to see them tied fuck yes 
a kiss follows
long, deep, and increasingly lewd
only interrupted by you taking off your top and panties. the skirt stays on although it’s getting a little shoved up
yoongi remains seated as he is, starstruck as hell cuz your body has him fucked up
in the meantime you turn around to press your ass right against yoongi’s crotch
with a some more audacity right there
not taking any chances beyond this point
the poor guy
steady ruts and gyrating are sure to fry his brain with you taking all the time in the world to rub your core all over his growing boner
the skirt only provides more friction to the whole game
“you’re so cruel, please, oh my god”
someone’s worried he blows his load way too early
well oops
“take it. lil’ sucker”
you gaze back over your shoulder. sweet, suffering yoongi has his eyes closed and bites right down on his lip. 
he looks more concentrated than when he produces something in the studio i’m telling you
with your every push and rub, the tent in his blue shorts gets more upright, the fabric even more tense
and his voice whinier
and your pussy much wetter 
that’ll be quite a bit of laundry tomorrow
with every new grind you realize
better have mercy and slip a condom on before he does cum in his pants 
regardless you decide that your new favorite hobby is to tease the living hell out of him
by just how stiff he really is you can tell there are in fact two people enjoying that
holy shit when you get his pants off there’s a sight to behold
honey boy loves the cruel girls
it’s no secret yoongi is a fan of all things technology but damn he really is a master with the electric razor those are some pube gardening skills on fire
and he smells so good
and that juicy dick
is just one of a kind
UGH
the lube that’s been waiting on the couch table... will have to keep waiting forever 
hallelujah you’re dripping
“that’s... not going to be a long ride, yoongi”
“i, i know”
(just how much of a han solo is he!)
“should we wait for a minute?”
“probably better”
the boy gets the best of you it seems 
oh, sweet horniness.
a two minute TLC break gets the racing pulse down and the suspense up
admittedly just cuddly stuff with yoongi doesn’t make it any better
he. really. smells. so. good.
sandalwood, jasmine, something herbal, whatever it is, that mix makes your mind implode
“yoongi. i want you.” 
so bad.
just seeing him with his big dark teddy eyes and bound hands is kind of a fucking lot to take in okay
not to mention his voice just getting that extra deep edge when he tells you he wants you too
FUCK
the two minutes are so hard to bear, you just want to get going and ride him and hear all those slutty moans
and corrupt his every inch
as per friday evening you know yoongi doesn’t plan to fall short on the vocal department whatsoever and who can blame him. his raspy baritone is a surefire way to make your thighs tremble
and by virtue of profession, rappers aren’t known for staying silent when it comes to issues they’re passionate about aren’t they
rolling down the rubber you grabbed from the table is challenging enough because good heavens you’re touching him this way for the first time it’s just hard to believe and hard to the touch
his breath accelerates big time
you’re careful but also firm enough to ground him 
“ok, shall we?”
yoongi’s desperate hum in reply comes with two quick nods
slow, slow, slow, take it slow you say to yourself
but your wetness doesn’t lie. 
yoongi’s piano hands were like an open sesame to your walls
they went pop 
let’s get down to business bring that cock
you crave that filling BAD
when you align and slip him in with one not so steady hand cuz jesus christ you’re completely high-strung
those teddy eyes are on you like big brother 
because yoongi monitors hard for any discomfort you might have
he probably realizes that he’s not a desert-dry 9:50 PM tampon on the fifth period day when the backsides of your thighs cushion down on his loins
WHEW, THAT SLIP
better than any conditioner out there 
he’s in
it stuffs you so well, you can’t help but moan out
yoongi’s hypervigilance still hasn’t entirely faded though
“is that okay, does it hurt? is it—”
“shush, bun. watch.” testing, you give yoongi a good first bounce, far up and down, that baywatch slow motion... mother of god, your labia have a sweet time stretching around him. “it’s very okay.”
“a-alright,” he says
oh god yeah
another bounce on that. it’s already an addictive feeling
that’s what yoongi meant by ‘seesaw’
you rest your hands on his shoulders — and they’re made for that, i mean they’re just that broad — and really feel into how he glides in so nicely
with a slick and noisy plunge
gotta make sure to really savor all of those facial expressions from him ‘cause they’re pretty damn intense you have to give him that. never did you even fathom how his eyebrows could just escalate like this
yoonaerys targaryen!
that cock’s too good
so sleek. and comfortable 
advantages of having a perky lil dick 
he fills out your walls so perfectly
this is getting so heated, watching his body become so twitchy, his tied hands
with all those red blotches at his neck. 
it doesn’t take many more movements, no matter how playful the edge
that you have to pull off and enter phase 2 of TLC breaks with yoongi’s dick resting against his stomach all sensitive
this time you french kiss 
that’s how you know yoongi is not just a sucker. he’s a sucker
obsessed with nibbling at your lips and guzzling your saliva like wtf that’s not a break yoongi that’s making your girlfriend cum like new year’s eve fireworks
are all daegu boys freaky like that what is in the groundwater there?
you have to stop his hungry mouth and take a long damn breath
why is yoongi such a sex bomb
though what’s not to love about it
seriously you can’t take it much longer and he sees that 
“you wanna use your fingers, babe?”
“if you allow me,” he licks his lips, which means adding fuel to the fire, he can’t help it.
“say please.”
“please.”
you start to fiddle with the rope knots
yoonaerys targaryen soon has free hands
rope marks suit him so well, that shit just turns you on even more
time to switch it up then the final is around the corner
changing spots on the sofa, you recline, legs apart
yoongi slowly rubs you off with his flat palm to keep the pressure light
and not to overstrain his wrists too soon
then comes the infamous naughty tongue lowering down to your pelvis... nipping, swift and staccato. you have rightfully dreaded this moment because geez he hooks you on it 
next comes
the tip of his cock. i know right, good grief. guided by keen hands, rubbed against your clit, patting it, poking it, glazing it until it’s all coated all wet and pulsing like mad, what the fuck yoongi 
he makes you completely swollen
and repeat
it’s a triple t(h)reat technique adapted straight from the realms of fiery hell
palm, tongue, cock rubbing against you. palm, tongue, cock. palm, tongue, cock.
YOONGI HAS YOU SCREAMING AND WINDING
that demonic trick is guaranteed not to go on for very long 
point of no return says hiya, i’m here to mess you up girl
next turn his curling tongue comes to visit and dips between your labia
you can’t hold back anymore
and blow up in his face
whatever control there has been in your legs has now shut down entirely
yoongi has to deal with the full dose of slowly oozing jizz cuz boy he just buries his face even deeper once he sees the contractions starting
at this point he has solidified his sucker reputation
mister miraculous min just keeps eating and slurping while you cum your soul out. the pleasure is like a current taking over
making you curse
until you’re running of breath
with ‘point of no return’ handing the baton to ‘dizzy overstimulation’ you pull yoongi’s head out from between your thighs by the hair
yoongi kneels before you ruined
man... his face is dripping 
he even got cum in his lashes
“shit, yoongi!”
“please. punish, i want, i, please”
seldom that yoongi’s rapper mind says sorry i’m out like that
looking back it makes sense. who orders a flaming chili pepper pizza for date night but a grade a masochist 
cue friday evening protocol
you fumble off the very slippery condom and grip his cock by the base. hard.
with your other hand just in reach of his face
in comes a ringing slap to his right cheek
“a—ah, ah! more!”
slut yoongi is back in town and his cock really has to stay strong
because holy hell you jerk him off fast
getting greedy and erratic
yoongi cries out his orgasm with a whole white milky mess landing on his stomach, his thighs, your hand, your skirt, who knows he might have shot a constellation into the sky if it wasn’t for the ceiling
with the last drops gushing out, a giant fatigue pulls the plug on him
oh man
his hair goes in all directions. his face is slapped red, his wrists are marked, he came all over himself.
100% sex wreck 
you can barely keep yourself steady either
but you can at least reach for the soon-to-be-dirty-laundry towel on the table 
and clean up your salivating puffy teddy 
only to pull him close to you
two fucks covered in sweat all slack on the sofa, worn out
but happy
yoongi keeps on babbling and breathing hard 
seeking out closeness to your belly
you let him lie down his head on there
time to pull a blanket over the two of you right there once everything cools down
yoongi gazes up at you a bit cheeky even if he’s super tired
“kinda know what you’re thinking”
“that’s what a monthiversary has to be like”
“nothing to add”
“except: repeat tomorrow”
wrapping up the weekend all sloppy is a good luck charm for monday
“my bad. of course”
“you’re just amazing, you know that.”
“i was gonna say that to you”
safe to say that guy has your heart
“so... same time, same place, different movie?”
“sure babe i’m in”
while you both doze off, intertwined just as before  
you can’t help but think
man that was life-changing
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