#the birdie boiler
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HEART PIRATES WEEK 2024 - Part 4 of 9
I told myself last year that I was going to participate in Heart Pirates Week this year, and by thunder I'm going to participate in Heart Pirates Week!
Day Four: Ikkaku - Night
669 words; this is me pouring one out to the times I worked late shifts, especially the midnights; this one is very safe for work, actually, but does reference potentially disordered eating out of one (1) individual, so that’s a thing to watch for I guess; again: what is proofreading lol
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Shift assignments were honestly not the worst thing in the world, but honestly… most of them had experienced much worse. Three sets of mandatory shifts, eight hours each; that would last for a month before everything was reassigned, four shifts of six hours. The months would cycle as such, with people getting shuffled back and forth with little care as to where they ended up. Things were always new and different that way. Besides, most people still hung out with one another even when they weren’t on their mandatory shift, making things somewhat different from the traditional sailing vessels.
Then again, when one rides in a submarine in a world of sail and paddle boats, everything is a little different, isn’t it?
The only thing that wasn’t different, Ikkaku knew, was the overnight shift. It was her sixth month in a row working the overnight detail and she was beginning to wonder if the goobers that drew the lots every month had it out for her. Uni had tagged her out of the boiler room for a break, allowing her the chance to head to the top deck and enjoy the breeze that they were afforded thanks to giving the engines a break and unfurling their own sail.
It was quiet, peaceful even, as she listened to the soft sound of the waves against the metal hull of the ship. They had already passed into the climate zone of an Autumn Island, the gentle currents guiding them the rest of the way to their destination. It was the sort of silence that was reassuring and calming for some and yet restless and loud for another. A thought of the Captain crossed her mind; he was likely pacing around his tiny cabin with no sleep, no dinner, and no plans to rectify either. She sighed heavily; might as well check.
Trying to not make too much noise, Ikkaku went back below deck to the mess hall, where she found the log where everyone who watched the Captain eat something. It was last updated by Bepo that morning (dry breakfast cereal, coffee, banana); the math wasn’t difficult. When she couldn’t find whichever idiot was supposed to be on kitchen duty, she scraped together what she could find (an apple, some carrots with salad dressing, a tin of herring) and brought it along with the herbal tea that Bepo instructed everyone how to make. She went to the Captain’s quarters with the tray in-hand and knocked on the door. Sure enough, Law opened it much faster than if he had been sleeping, and the stack of books and papers on his desk wasn’t helping any.
“What’s this?” He eyed the contents of the tray and scowled, realization slowly creeping onto his face. “I’m not hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
“How do you know?”
“A birdie told me. Now are you going to eat or am I going to have a snack while I clean out the boilers?”
The Captain thought about that for half a second before taking the tray and closing the door behind him. Ikkaku stood there and waited for his brain to catch up, then his manners. In moments he was opening the door again with a cowed expression on his face.
“Thank you,” he mumbled. “I know you’re not my mom, or my maid. Mechanics have better things to do than watch over me.”
“That’s right,” she replied. “I will beat your ass if I catch you not eating on my shift when you’re up during it. You understand?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t make eye contact as they stood there, the doorway suddenly feeling rather small. “Can I go now?”
Ikkaku patted the Captain atop his head and smirked. “Yeah.” He then retreated quickly, which allowed her to head back to the mess hall and write down in the log that food was at least accepted before she got back to Uni and the boiler room.
At least she knew the rest of her sift would be quiet.
#One Piece#One Piece fan fiction#Heart Pirates Week#Heart Pirates Week 2024#HeartPiratesWeek#HeartPiratesWeek2024#Ikkaku#Ikkaku (One Piece)#Trafalgar Law#part of why I love staying up late is bc fewer people to interrupt me historically speaking#(living at home until your mid-thirties does that)#and I did used to work some late shifts both in retail and manufacturing#in fact at the latter I'd be done early but my ride wouldn't be up for another three hours so I'd write fic in the meantime lol#I think I'll upload one more for today but it might not be until late
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GUESS WHOS GOING IN THE BIRDIE BOILER
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"Oh! Buzzy beak's back!? Let me go warm up the birdy boiler!"
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The little majordomo bird hippety-hopped all the way to the birdie boiler. :D
#ooc#im dying he was having way too much fun with that#i love banzai#and the other two just watching in excitement#his whole expressions during that#the voice#these guys love playing with their food
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Please accept my follow your reblog of the baldwins cauldron discussion made me cackle
Thank u! I live to attempt funnyman commentary whenever staff makes a decision
If I could find a gif of the birdie boiler scene from the Lion King I'd post it here but alas, I cannot
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Hello there! :)
Sorry, it's my first time requesting something, so I'm kinda nervous 😅. What about a The Jon fluff with a s/o who somehow manages to find a recipe for crystal Pepsi to make at home, so he doesn't have to be worried about running out of it? 👉👈 (thanks in advance and sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any possible way)
By the way, I absolutely love your works! They're so sweet and... Cozy? They seem to radiate some pleasant warmth, as if someone is hugging you <3
Hi! Thank you so much for requesting this, it was really fun to work on :D (Also, no worries! This was worded well and didn't make me uncomfortable in the slightest! also ahhhhhhhhhhhh thank you so much!!!!0
No CWs as far as I can see, read on!
You sighed, tossing the failed formula out and washing out the vial. You had been trying for three weeks to recreate the Crystal Pepsi formula, but nothing was working. You had been holed up in your little room in Biscuitville, trying to find the Crystal Pepsi formula but it just hadn’t been working.
You had managed to convince your friend, a small bird that ran off of Crystal Pepsi like how The Jon did, to take part in the experiment and were currently testing different mixtures on it. Nothing had worked so far, and it was driving you batty. Of course, The Jon didn’t know yet. You had placed a sign on your door that read ‘VERY Important Experiments going on- DO NOT DISTURB!!!’
Now you wished that you hadn’t, as you possibly could have used The Jon’s knowledge on the thing that made him run for this. You grabbed your notebook, muttering as you noted down your recent failure. “Formula #72, failure. No response from the subject of any kind…” You muttered, marking a red X next to the number.
You picked up the vial containing Formula #73, eyeing it cautiously. It had taken the longest to carbonate properly out of the rest of the ones before it. It had carbonated, but it had been a pain to do so. You put it back down and got to cleaning out the little bird’s boiler, taking great care to not hurt it in any way.
The bird was your friend and had agreed to this willingly; you didn’t want to misplace their trust. You finally finished cleaning out their boiler and set them down gently, tipping their head back. You poured some of Formula #73 down their throat and stepped back, watching intensely.
At first, nothing happened. That was expected, as usual with refilling an empty boiler; it usually took time for an automaton to get going. Then, there was a puff of steam and the bird opened their eyes, bright pink optics focusing on you. They chittered and hopped forward, tweeting a greeting.
You stared in shock, your hands shaking. You put the half-full vial down carefully onto the table before you could break it, leaning heavily on your desk as you processed what you had just done. You had finally done it. You had finally done it. You had finally managed to recreate the Crystal Pepsi formula
You grinned, your excitement finally rising in your chest. “Jon! Jon, come here!” You cried, barging out of your room with a wide smile on your face.
The Jon popped out of a nearby room, a panicked look on his face. His eyes met yours and he ran to you, picking you up and hugging you tight. “Birdie! Oh, Birdie, is everything alright?” He asked worriedly, inspecting your face with a worried expression on his own.
You grinned, shaking your head and pressing a kiss to his nose. “You won't believe what I just did,” You said giddily, your elation still buzzing bright in your chest.
The Jon sighed in relief and set you down, still holding you tight. “What is it, Bluebird?” He asked, looking at you with bright blue optics.
You giggled, unable to keep yourself serious. “Lemme show you,” You hummed, pressing another kiss to his nose.
The Jon nodded and let you lead him into your room, looking curiously at the notes pinned around the room but not actually touching any. You picked up the vial of Formula #73 and presented it proudly, barely able to contain your joy. The Jon smiled back and took the vial, inspecting it from several different angles. Finally, The Jon said, “Birdie, I’m sorry but I have no idea what this is.”
You sighed, shaking your head at The Jon’s usual bluntness. “This, Jon, is home-made Crystal Pepsi,” You said, grinning at him and picking up the recipe for Formula #73.
The Jon’s jaw fell open and he stared at you, shock plastered across his face. “W…What?” He asked.
“It’s home-made Crystal Pepsi,” You repeated, the grin on your face growing. “And it’s easy to make, so it won’t be hard to obtain.”
There was a beat of silence before The Jon let out a whoop of joy, engulfing you in a hug (keeping his finger on top of the vial’s opening, as to make sure none spilled). “Ohhhh, thankyouthankyouthankyou! Thank you, Y/N!” He squealed, pressing kisses all across your face.
You giggled, managing to still the ecstatic automaton enough to press a kiss to his lips. He positively melted at that, a purring sound emanating from his chest as he sighed happily, still pressing kisses to your face.
#The Jonx GN reader#GN Reader#The Jon#The Jon SPG#SPG The Jon#Fluff#super fluff#fluff that'll melt your face off#The Jon x Reader#Steam Powered Giraffe#SPG#Reader
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anon:
What does your muse like about Faba? [ DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS ]
[ NOTHING LMAOOOO HE’S GOING IN THE FUCKING BIRDY BOILER!!!!!! ]
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Thoughts on Zazu?
"Great flier for the birdie boiler"
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thinking about that scene in the 90s lion king where the hyenas catch zazu and put him in the dreaded Birdie Boiler. the fact that zazu immediately jumps to roasting the hyenas in pig latin. the fact that the hyenas understand pig latin enough to get indignant about being called "upid-stay," possibly from past encounters with zazu. the fact that this has apparently happened enough for the hyenas to designate a specific "birdie boiler" to use on zazu, who recognizes and fears the threat of it. i would watch an entire movie around what the hell was going on there
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slime is still the most expensive thing on the planet to buy in bulk so I just bought like 100K T’s worth of shitty clothes to put in the birdy boiler for the next month and a half I guess
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I'm at a loss now, not driving a quirky/broken shitbox car. I've driven shitty cars since I learned how to drive.
I started out in the "birdie boiler" a late 90s Malibu that shook violently at idle and had no AC.
Then I acquired the "couch", an '02 Buick Century that ran well, but was rusted to hell. It also had a dead window motor, dead shift indicator lights, and a borked fuel gauge. It busted an alternaor too.
The "Couch II" was another Buick. A '97 LeSabre. It'd been totaled. It started out needing a whole new front end to fix mechanical, electrical, and cosmetic issues. Then it ran really well with only wear & tear issues and a different dead window motor.
After that I had my first "new" car. A 2014 Buick Regal that just fell the fuck apart. Blew up a vacuum pump and busted a cam shaft, tried to blow up a fuel pump, and then blew a seal in the motor dumped oil all over itself.
Then my band-aid car. An '05 Grand Prix. It killed an ignition coil, a starter, and a spark plug. Which really isn't too bad. It's true shitbox quality is/was that it has/had a bad exhaust and pipes that are too big, so it sounds like a fucking hotrod rolling down the road. Oh, and the paint peeled off the front bumper, but I can forgive that.
My little Camry is pretty much the nicest car I've had. It's quiet. It's efficient. It's not falling apart. It has most of its paint. I don't know what to do with it. I'm a shitbox girl, and I don't drive a shitbox any more.
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The existence of the birdie boiler implies this happens to Zazu often
his ass is BOILED
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You thought it would be another series of Disney posts, but it’s me, Dio!
Dio from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
Kronk from the Emperor’s New Groove
Zazu from the Lion King
Ed from the Lion King
#art#artwork#nintendo#nintendo art#animalcrossing#animal crossing#animal crossing new horizons#acnh#jojo#dio#kronk#the emporer's new groove#the poison#the poison for kuzco#the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco#kuzco's poison#its all coming together#lionking#zazu#the birdie boiler#MUFASA#jojo's bizarre adventure
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Everyone w/ Swipp:
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Staff removed the text abt putting familiars in Baldwin's soup and made it an unspecified "gift" from the familiar that you're putting in but you cannot fucking fool me staff I know and you know that's the Birdie Boiler
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