no I will not give you a serious "no" answer because please are u kidding me?

Cartoon Daze

Author: Beansidhe_Baby

Year: 2008

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Mike/ Dave

“I can't believe we can't go out,” Noel huffed, crossing his arms, “this is fucking bullshit. We should go proper rock star batshit crazy and wreck the room.” Nobody was paying a great deal of attention to him at this stage. He'd been having a “strop” as Mike put it, for the past hour. Julian rolled his eyes and flicked the television on, dropping himself on the couch. Dave was lounging on a beanbag, messing with some bongos, to his right and Mike was leaning against him sleepily. Rich was dancing to an inaudible beat in the corner. “Julian, no one's listening to me!” Noel said and threw himself next to him and pouted in a way that had no right to be as pretty as it was. “Yes dear,” Julian replied and changed channels. Noel thumped his upper arm and pointedly leaned away from him, against the armrest. “What're we watching?” he muttered under his breath. Julian squinted at the screen. “Pingu,” he said after a long pause. “At this time of night?” a mumble emerged from the general direction of Mike's beanbag. “Apparently,” Julian replied and slung an arm around Noel, who pretended to be uninterested. “Pingu is amazing,” Dave said. “I bet if you translate what he's saying it's all filth,” Noel said, sitting up in his seat, “Look at this bit, his mother is clearly swearing him out of it. 'Fuck's sake, I ask you to mind your brother, who's in a bloody egg, mind, and you can't even manage that without destroying the igloo.' 'He was getting on me tits' 'You utter twerp, you're not even a mammal' 'Fuck this, I'm going to bum me mate what's a seal.'” “Isn't that what happened when mum let you look after me when she went down the shops?” Mike said ironically. Noel flipped him the bird. When Pingu finished (with Noel providing the X rated translation of a hula scene and a snow ball fight), Thomas the Tank Engine came on. They were all watching at this stage, Rich sitting on the floor with his knees tucked underneath him, in a rare quiet moment. “I dunno about you, but I stopped watching Thomas when Ringo Starr stopped doing the narration,” Mike said thoughtfully. “You watched this show?” Noel said incredulously. “For Ringo, yeah,” Mike said, totally deadpan. “He is my second favourite Beatle,” Dave volunteered. “Yeah, but Ringo's everyone's second favourite Beatle,” Julian said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “he's like vanilla ice cream. Everyone likes him, but he's nobody's favourite favourite. “He's my favourite,” Mike said, slightly churlishly. “No one cares, Mike,” Noel replied, much more churlishly. “Well he was the nicest one and he really loved the others and he could hold a steady beat and nobody appreciates him,” Mike said, blushing slightly and his eyes darting sideways. Noel noticed this and smirked evilly. “As I recall, this was your reasoning behind Rolf the dog being your favourite Muppet. 'Nobody appreciates him!'” he lisped and giggled. “Fuck off,” Mike said hotly. “Will you guys shut the fuck up? I'm trying to watch this,” Rich said, with his eyes glued on the screen. “I think it's sweet,” Dave said and pinched Mike's cheek. Mike blushed and batted his hand away. Noel opened his mouth to say something, but Julian nudged him sharply in the ribs. “All these old kids shows have been remade now to be more PC anyway,” Julian said, “In Postman Pat there's a new Asian family in it to show that the BBC isn't racist. I'm just waiting for Ted Glenn to come out. 'It's me new invention, Pat, a vibratin' cock ring',” he said, in a thicker Yorkshire accent. Dave and Mike laughed until there was tears running down their cheeks and Noel covered his ears with a look of mock horror. “I am shocked and appalled,” he said and Julian ruffled his hair, messing it up. “The old versions of kids shows are fantastic,” Dave said, “There's all this bizarre shit you can't get away with anymore.” “Davey and Goliath was some messed up shit,” Rich agreed. “I don't know, Davey,” Mike giggled and Dave shoved him affectionately. Dave then took Mike's face in his hands and looked deeply into his eyes. “We've been dancing around the issue all night, Mike, I think someone should just come right out and say it. Why is Rich not naked?” Mike looked back into his eyes for five seconds before laughing and looking down. “I'm going to my beddy!” Rich stood up suddenly and announced at the top of his lungs. Noel went over and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Be a good boy, Richard,” he said and clung onto his arm. “Yes mommy,” Rich replied and kissed his nose. Julian rolled his eyes silently as Rich went to the door. Noel took a running leap at the couch, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Hello,” he said at the top of Noel's head, “Can I help you with anything?” Noel looked up and stuck his lower lip out. “Can I have a lickle kissy, Juju?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes and climbing into his lap. Obligingly, Julian leaned down and kissed his friend on the lips. His face was seized and Noel forced his tongue into his mouth. Honestly, he really got far too into this... thing that they did. “Aw sick!” Mike said disgustedly. They broke apart and Noel stuck his tongue out at his brother. Dave suddenly grabbed Mike and kissed him deeply. Mike sat completely still for a few seconds before throwing his arms around the other man's neck. Dave noisily smacked his lips against Mike's and pulled back. “Thought you might like some revenge,” he said and turned to stick his tongue out at Noel. “Alright, out! Both of you,” Noel stood up and started shooing the giggling pair out of the room. As he closed the door he felt Julian put his arms around him. “You deserved that,” he said, kissing his ear. Noel turned around and kissed him again.

Mike and Dave were shoved unceremoniously into the corridor, clutching each other and laughing helplessly. “Did- did you see his face?” Mike spluttered and buried his own face in Dave's chest. “He deserved it,” Dave giggled and put his forehead on Mike's shoulder, shaking with laughter. “Thanks anyway, Dave,” Mike kissed the corner of his mouth jokily. Dave growled deeply and sealed his lips fully over Mike's. “Nobody embarrasses Naboo,” he said in his guttural Bollo voice. Mike pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “Yeah... that would probably be even more effective than turning his back, if Bollo and Naboo just started neckin'” “Forget Howard and Vince,” Dave agreed, “the sexual tension between us is getting ridiculous.” He kissed along the smaller man's jawline and nipped at his earlobe, tracing the shell of his ear with his tongue. Mike moaned involuntarily and tried to swallow the noise. They were just messing around, he wasn't supposed to actually be getting off on it. “Come to my room,” Dave whispered into his ear. “Yeah alright,” he said quietly, feeling his heart beat faster. They kissed again, slower than before. Instead of violently tonguing him, Dave gently licked his lower lip and retreated back into his own mouth. Mike followed him with his own tongue and opened Dave's mouth with his lips. Dave started laughing again and Mike hit him. “Prick,” he said and frowned. Dave kissed his firmly closed mouth with a sweet, feather light pressure. “I'm sorry,” he said, batting his eyelashes and kissing him again. And again. Mike started to, reluctantly, return the kisses, barest flickers of his lips, eventually softening and returning them fully. “You've got a pretty mouth,” Dave pulled back, dragging his thumb along Mike's lip. Mike took the thumb into his mouth and sucked it. “Wanna see what else it can do?” he said and smiled, his eyes going crinkly at the edges, “Fuck it, this is all a bit weird, Dave. Is this still arsing around or are we being serious? 'Cos if we are being serious... I'm sort of ok with that.” Dave took his hand and pressed it into his crotch. “Is that serious enough for you?” he asked with a crooked smile. “I reckon so,” Mike grinned, unable to drag his eyes away from the bulge his hand was covering. He gave it an experimental squeeze and Dave hissed. He grabbed Mike's other hand and dragged him further down the corridor and pushed him against a door. His, hopefully. Mike sucked at his neck while he fumbled the key card through the slot. The scrape of teeth and wet suction at the base of his throat made any coordination of the card seem desperately difficult. Eventually he convinced the door to open and they shuffled in awkwardly, kicking off shoes and pulling at clothes. They fell onto the bed and Mike was bounced on top on Dave. They laughed again and clung to each other. Dave ran his hands down Mike's back and when he reached the small firm buttocks, squeezed them firmly. Their cocks were pressing into each other and they started to rut against each other. Dave flipped him over and Mike gasped as he felt a wet heat against one nipple and then the other. A tongue dipping into his navel. Fingers hooking in the elastic of his pants. And then- “Mmm,” Dave hummed around his cock as he twisted and screamed soundlessly. He hadn't done this for many years, and really, one drunken fumble in college hardly counted at this stage. Mike was so small and pretty, though he was sure that neither adjective would be considered complimentary, he made him feel big and clumsy and he wanted to do things to him. He surfaced and kissed one jutting hipbone. “Can I fuck you, Mike?” he asked, his voice strangely deep. Mike looked into his eyes and nodded once. Dave crawled back up his torso and lay down on top of him, stroking his hair and kissing him sweetly. “You don't have to,” he said, “I mean, I really want to, but if you don't then it's ok-” “Dave,” Mike cut him off, “I want you to fuck me right now.” He illustrated his point by opening his legs and thrusting upwards, so Dave's dick poked into his arse. “Ok,” he said quietly and went to look for something. Mike propped himself on his elbows and followed him with his eyes. “Have you ever done this before?” he asked. Dave looked back at him guiltily. “Sort of... a long time ago.” Mike felt his stomach plummet and tried hard to look unaffected. “Anyone I know?” he asked casually. Dave avoided his eye and instantly Mike knew. “Oh my God. I feel sick,” he muttered. “We tried to, but we couldn't,” Dave replied anxiously, “he didn't want to... with me.” “Do you still have feelings for him?” Mike demanded, “Am I the next best thing? Is that what this is?” “No no,” Dave sat back on the bed, “I haven't even thought about it for years. You, I want you, Mike,” he put his cheek against the other man's shoulder. “Ok,” Mike replied quietly, “I'm sorry.” “I found something,” Dave held up a tub of Vaseline and Mike nodded again, smiling this time. He forced himself to relax as a finger worked its way inside his tight entrance. When a second one joined it, he thought that his hole would snap like an overextended rubber band. Dave moved his fingers slowly and he felt himself being stretched open. After a while he began to feel more comfortable and the pleasure-pain balance tipped in a more favourable direction. “Are you ready?” Dave asked him gently. “Sodomize me, Dave,” he replied impatiently. Dave pushed Mike's legs up over his shoulders, leaving him feeling very exposed, and slowly inched his way inside. It felt strange, having his body stretch to accommodate Dave's cock. Not uncomfortable exactly, just... strange. Dave's eyes were tightly shut and he was moving agonizingly slowly. He changed the angle of his thrusting slightly and Mike felt something explode inside him. “Fuck, Dave. Do that again!” he gasped. “What?” Dave asked. “I think you just found my g-spot,” Mike said, twisting his torso to try and recreate the angle. Dave thrust over that spot, deep inside him again. And again. Quicker and quicker. Harder, deeper. “Fuck my arse, Dave. Fuck me!” he screamed. Dave moved one white knuckled hand from Mike's hip to his straining cock and jerked him off, between them. The headboard was banging against the wall with their erratic thrusting. Mike went stiff underneath him and came all over their stomachs. One or two thrusts later, Dave followed him and collapsed on top of the smaller man. “Dave. Crushing me,” Mike said into his neck. “Oh, sorry,” Dave rolled off him, “Was that alright?” he asked. “No, I actually just came all over your stomach so's not to hurt your feelings,” Mike replied and kissed him sleepily. “Oh well,” Dave sighed dramatically. “It was brilliant,” Mike said quietly, “You've ruined me for girls.” Dave chuckled and tickled him. “F'ckoff,” Mike said into the pillow, sprawled out on the bed. “Mike this is actually my room,” Dave said, poking him in the small of the back. “That's nice. Night Dave,” Mike curled up beside him. Dave sighed again and kissed the top of the dark head tucked under his arm. “No dribbling on me,” he warned him, but Mike had already fallen asleep, “Goodnight Mike,” he said more tenderly. He put his arms around the small body cuddled up next to him and went to sleep, dreaming of tiny shaman and cartoon dogs.