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#the 'actually bipolar' tag always makes me want to laugh in a cringe way LOOL
scoups4lyfe · 1 year
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Since I finally finished making my powerpoint I decided it was time to share it -- and my way of doing that (of course) is by analyzing my hyperfixation for the last four-ish months
DPR IAN.
Some things to know:
DPR Ian was born Christian Yu on September 6th, 1990. (So rn he's 32.)
He was born and raised in Australia
He has Bipolar Type 1
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My Experience With Bipolar Disorder 
I think that since I am trying to spread awareness about Bipolar and what it’s like — I believe that I should share my own experience. (Hence my eventual inclusion of personal journal entries.)
What’s hard about Bipolar Disorder or BD / BP -- is that there isn’t a lot of  awareness about it. I honestly thought my wacky-a$$ behavior was normal, up until I saw an accurately-represented person going through a Bipolar episode — with the aftermath — in a tv show. Which equated to:
“ö!!” response.
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Starting with facts
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......
Now, on towards Ian's music.
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I’ll only lightly touch on this for now because I know I’ll be going more thoroughly in-depth later about these metaphors/motifs; but some of the big things recurrent in DPR Ian’s music videos, song lyrics — etc., are that of Oceans/Lakes (drowning); Moon cycles and Werewolves; Storms. Other things that frequently pop up: Eyes, colors — aka their distinct and purposeful use of displaying something, isolation, religion, medication, fire/burning, guns / shooting, and finally — Suicidal Ideation. 
(Yes, that last one is especially important for the topic we’ll be discussing.)
These metaphors — motifs — images / lyricism — are representative of BP. I think the best of all of them involve the moon and werewolves. But oceans / lakes and storms are also just as good. This is because these things are: 
Natural — out of control of human hands 
Cyclical — for oceans / lakes it’s the tides; storms — obviously by seasons. 
Can leave a decent amount of destruction, no matter how beautiful it is. 
[Moving on....]
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N E R V E S
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above are screenshots from Ian's song "Nerves" -- these shots in particular showcased religious imagery, which I found fascinating, based on how deeply entwined religious themes are in his videos / songs.
Ian often likens himself in the position of the devil, the one banished from heaven. There's a dichotomy in his songs, music, imagery, (etc) ; where he's an "angel" and cherished by the creator, and then (when a mood episode comes on) there's this bitterness of abandonment....though I'll expand on that later.
TLDR; Ian is always questioning "WHY" he must live in a looped cycle of intense a$$ emotional highs and lows- of having that burden of being bipolar.
This is why "And you left" -> the shot cuts away from the cross on the road.
Ian is showing (literally, through imagery / his creative vision <3), that he is at a "crossroads" 🤪.
"I still can't believe I left you alone"
Here, the cross is blurred out. So although Ian is saying this about himself, he's also mirroring it to God. "I still can't believe you left me alone." This is why the cross is blurred. Because his God's image or visage isn't "visible" or fully "clear" to him.
"It tore me down to pieces"
Here, Ian looks (visually) like he's kneeling / praying. This accompanied with the lyrics, "It tore me down to pieces" is another way he subtly shows how when God has blurred himself away, when Ian feels most abandoned in his darkness -- that which was hard, only hurts ten times more.
"Don't worry about me, cause I'm doing fine"
Interestingly, the cross is red, which represents love, but can also represent anger.
Here Ian says he's doing "fine" and now we see a cross that isn't blurred out, it's fully visible and outlined in red. Ian's not alone anymore, hence why you don't need to worry about him.
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(I'll expand on the list above more as we go on)
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Dude, Ian's interview quote fvcking SLAPS.
Especially because he perfectly described what **I** felt / what it feels like when you enter into a major depressive episode. Often there would be days where that was all I could feel --nothing. Blank. Empty.
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Last slide of part (1) .
So I'll go ahead and link the MV here:
youtube
I know I have used a screen recording clip of "Nerves" within these past four months when I was rapid-cycling through manic and depressive episodes like a clown juggling barrels of oil lit on fire.
So YEAH. I think it perfectly (visually) portrays what it feels and looks like when you're going through these episodes.
[Next]
Journal Entries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)
PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7] , [8], [9]
Visual Clips (Depressive Episodes): (1), (2)
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