the thing about critical rolllle is that i used to put a post-it note over my screen so i wouldn't have to see the player whose name comes from arthurian myth. like i thought he was one of the most annoying people i'd ever seen. and i don't think i've ever said the thing about the post-it note out loud before because i was so scared of being called homophobic. and my feelings towards him led to a legit crises at the time because i sort of thought i was being homophobic and was very ashamed of myself. 🙄

but now looking back and thinking about all my gripes, i realise the truth. he was so fucking annoying and bad at his job and I just hated his ass. he would interrupt other peoples' turns to incorrectly explain rules, then on his own turn he'd stutter and waffle and debate forever and then just use vicious mockery and end his turn, either because he'd built a character that was useless in combat (and there was a lot of combat) or just because he didn't know how to play his character. he'd meta game so so bad to get the upper hand against other pcs in roleplay, like it drove me insane. his characters would frequently "teach" other characters condescending "lessons" that were usually beyond fucked up. and people would say "oh well it's a complex character ofc the character kind of seems like a complete asshole" then he'd go on the aftershow and say shit like "he was never a character who needed to be fixed." and the character was heavily (but poorly) messiah-coded too, which... 🙄🙄🙄

i'd always watch live and i mastered the trick of pausing the twitch/yt stream during his turns, chilling in silence for about a minute, then fast-forwarding so i wouldn't have to hear him talk as much. it was SO BAD. 😫 and i didn't tell almost anyone about it because i felt like i would face harassment if i was honest about my feelings. so yes, it was more toxic than that other fandom.