I think it would be interesting if there was like, a documentary or smth like a deep dive focused on the phenomenon I like to dub the "monkey's paw" of the internet which is where a content creator quickly rises to fame/quickly becomes popular but are then pitted against so much slander, controversies, hate, and/or discourse that it either ruins that person's content creating career or damages it to a degree that will never be fixed

because it keeps happening. over and over I've seen content creators suddenly rise out of the depths and gain masses of followers only for it to topple like a poorly-played jenga tower only a few years later due to controversies and hate. meanwhile, other content creators build a following in a slow, steady way where while they might not be that known, the people who do know them support them wholeheartedly.

And I want to know WHY this keeps happening. I have a lot of theories on this (jealousy of success breeding extreme hate, sudden fame clouding judgement and leading to poor decisions, the lack of trust the apprehension more and more people are having towards newer famous people nowadays, etc) but it would be nice to once day get more than just these theories on why this keeps happening, and if this "trend" will ever stop or just get worse as time progresses

Fixing Surrender

Not gonna lie, my blood is still boiling, what a fucking mess. My expectations were low but holy shit…

Pixelberry has a history of not handling sensitive topics with the greatest care, but the callous disregard for the very foundation on which the entire BDSM community is built upon is truly a new low and quite frankly terrifyingly irresponsible and dangerous.

For those of you who are new to the subject, let me explain something. The first thing you learn when it comes to BDSM dynamics is that consent is the single most important thing. Consent can only be given when all involved parties feel safe, sane and sober and are informed and enthusiastic about whatever is about to happen. Consent can be withdrawn at any given moment and is dependent on constant, open and honest communication and a strong foundation of trust.

Reading this, you should now have an understanding of why I am so appalled by Pixelberry’s latest release. But how do we fix this? Honestly, this one should have stayed in the drafts. Scrap it, research, try again later. Do better.

But since I’m a glutton for punishment, filled with gleaming spite and very passionate about this: he we go!

Step one: Stop gender-locking books that are not dependent on a female MC (e.g. historical fiction that relies on very fixed gender roles, pregnancy stories etc.) Kink spaces are queer spaces. If you are bigoted, you are not welcome in a community that is based on mutual respect. Period. Also: Straight men can be submissive, if you don’t think so, please check your beliefs in toxic masculinity at the door.

Step two: Give the MC a more solid foundation in life. If you just found out your partner cheated on you, started the process of divorcing them, don’t have a steady income and are currently living in a hotel, believe me, you are in no way, shape or form fit to begin exploring a BDSM relationship. You are emotionally and financially vulnerable and sadly, there are people who can and will exploit that.

A compromise could be that the MC is in the late process of divorcing their spouse, after they’ve caught them cheating with the dominatrix. They had time to process, time to grief and now they want to move forward. They temporarily moved in with a colleague from work, who’s genuinely rooting for them to get back out there and build up their confidence. A work colleague, you ask? Yes, MC has a career, that’s non-negotiable. It doesn’t have to be a dream job, but she has to have a steady income.

A storyline that could genuinely work is, that MC has been very complacent in life and has a tendency of taking the safe choice. They married and inoffensive partner, they took a low-profile job, they have bland friends and mundane hobbies. They crave excitement but are too afraid of taking a leap of faith.

BDSM gives them the confidence they needed. Submission, as some of you might not know, has a lot to do with confidence in yourself, your boundaries and your ability to enforce them. Dominants only get to take control because the submissive lets them, it’s not just a community in-joke that a sub has more power than their dom, a dom simply cannot take more than they’re allowed to have. Period. A good sub is aware of their wants and needs and knows how to communicate them. That requires confidence, an open mind, mutual trust and knowledge on the subject. With the MC becoming more competent and open in this dynamic, it will start to show in their regular and professional life as well.

Step three: Even out the playing field with Reagan.

Here’s the thing: You never start playing with a stranger. You never restrain a person who isn’t aware of what it all entails. You don’t start suggestive conversations with an uninformed person, who hasn’t explicitly consented to them. AND YOU DON’T ENTER A D/S DYNAMIC WHEN THERE’S AN EXISTING POWER IMBALANCE (boss/employee, teacher/student, professional/client)

If someone does that, they are a bad dom. They are predatory, exploitative, have a lack of self-control and a disregard for safety. The community is very vocal about proper dom etiquette, because it is a very very big deal to take control over someone else’s pleasure. If you can’t wait to establish trust and boundaries with your sub, you’re not a dom, you’re toxic at best and a rapist at worst.

An easy way to fix their dynamic is to establish a pre-existing relationship. Reagan apparently moves in the same circles as MC’s ex, so it wouldn’t be farfetched to say that they’ve met before. Let’s say that they’ve crossed paths a few times before and were at least acquainted before they offered to represent MC in their divorce.

The double perspective could work well in combination with flashbacks about their first encounters. Maybe there was mutual intrigue, a little flirtation, common interests and when they find out that MC is married, they regret their forwardness. Reagan’s arc would be about trust. They’ve been floating through life and while they convinced everyone, including themselves, that they prefer it that way, they really need stability.

Now that MC’s divorce is wrapping up, Reagan feels that they care a lot about them and allow themselves to think about what a future (platonic) relationship with them could entail. Working overtime in preparation for a final hearing MC opens up about how they can’t stop thinking about their ex-partner’s sexual preferences. They’ve done some research but got a bit overwhelmed. They say they want to understand, but Reagan picks up on the implication that they want to experience it as well. Reagen carefully let’s them know that they have experience with the lifestyle and could help them with their questions, if they are comfortable with that. That’s it. “You have questions? I might have answers.”

We get MC’s perspective and they can’t quite help but imagine themselves and Reagan in various sexual scenarios. They’ve always found them attractive; the chemistry was there but neither of them had ever acted on it. Duh, it would have been inappropriate. This scene will then serve as a bit of an infodump, but I’m positive, that the mutual attraction between our leads will give it a bit of an edge. Here Reagan explains about the importance of consent, how it can be given and taken, that there’s safe and slow words for quick communication with your partner (A tension clearing moment could be, MC asking “So, ‘Stop’?” Reagan, smirking, telling them, that that wouldn’t be the best safe word in some situations and asking MC to think of a word, fill in the blank choice, and this will stay the safe word for the story. Idk about you, but in my mind it’d feel very affection, if Reagan asked the MC if she remembers their safe word and they remembered that first innocent moment.) They also tell the MC that the terms under which a d/s dynamic works are never set in stone, contracts can be made as guidelines but are always up for re-negotiation as a partnership develops. Lastly they touch on aftercare and how it’s crucial for a dominant to take care of their submissive after a session, because if it doesn’t happen, it can lead to various negative emotional and physical damages for both parties. This is where it all begins.

Step four: Healthy(-ish) conflict

No good story with out conflict, am I right? Conflicts happen all the time, they’re neither good nor bad, they just are. What can be categorised under these labels however is our reaction to them and how we handle the consequences.

A good starting point for conflict could be that Reagan usually doesn’t play with newcomers and prefers to not be romantically involved with their subs. Not every dom is a passionate teacher and that’s perfectly fine.

The divorce will finalise in one of the earliest chapters, think two or three, and MC gathers all her courage and asks Reagan to introduce them to the lifestyle (This is an early hint at MCs development in confidence and her ability to finally vocalise what she really wants in life). Against their first instinct to refuse, they’d rather know MC’s safe with someone they know and trust than to go about town, finding god knows who. They agree on basic discipline training with soft punishments, light sensory play, restraints and to answer questions about everything MC’s curious about. BUT, no sex allowed. Reagan tells MC that they have good connections in the local scene and should be able to introduce them to a good partner eventually. MC is disappointed, but accepts.

The dual perspective works well, because we can focus on internal over external struggles. Reagan tries to ignore their growing feelings for MC and try to keep up their detached dom persona. They know MC isn’t ready for the dynamic they usually practice but their affection grows stronger every second they spend with MC. To drown their feelings out, Reagan tells themselves that this is just a rebound for MC, a celebration of their newfound freedom and nothing serious.

MC, obviously our main perspective, starts to reconsider their choices in life. They think about a change in career, allowing themselves to have dreams and ambitions and to go after them, the more they learn about themselves in their new role. It’s empowering, they feel desirable and naughty in the best way possible. One deep insecurity remains however. They feel that they are not good enough for Reagan. They notice how much Reagan is holding back and their agreement doesn’t suggest that Reagen sees them as a potential partner, but MC yearns for their approval and maybe even more.

I think this is an acceptable set up for a story, which’s moral is to communicate clear and open and honest with a partner. This is a starting point, and there’s still room for improvement, I’m in no means an expert, but I’m simply tired of blatantly toxic relationships being portrayed as BDSM, that I’m literally begging for crumbs by now.

This is way too long, sorry. Thank you for your time and never stop dragging Pixelberry for not doing the bare minimum.

🔥 about relationships in SH bc I'm emo and I really like reading about your thoughts/opinions.

Okay this is going to be a BIG answer because, I dunno what you mean by “relationships”

Romantic Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships on the show, I find them relatively nice. If you forget that from 1x01 to 3x22 (year later not included) there’s maybe 3 months, and that as a result, Magnus and Alec got married 2 months into their relationship, Clary and Jace have dated for a month, and Simon and Izzy 3 days, of course. 

The romances are interesting. Though some parts are badly written (in season 3, every thing that Malec has a couple gains is done through Magnus as a person losing something), I find Malec especially very interesting. Clace has also a good dynamic, with a true development from Jace’s character, which is very interesting to see. And the third ship I’d say is probably in the top three writing wise: Saia. Saia is amazing, for some of the same reasons that Malec and Clace are, actually. Saia, Clace and Malec all have one interesting in common. Healing. 

Jace, Clary, Simon, Maia, Magnus and Alec all have an healing journey as they go through their relationship. They all grow, and heal old traumas and pains, and I find it very beautiful and comforting to me. Victims of abuse like Jace, Maia and Magnus finding trust and love and support and being able to open themselves to vulnerability again? That’s GORGEOUS. 

Family dynamics

I enjoy the family dynamics a lot too. Especially the Lightwoods. Though the Luke/Clary bond is amazing, it is often the only plot that Luke gets: something to do with saving Clary’s ass. And I find that sad. Luke tends to be only Clary’s dad, not his own character. 

You can have characters who put family first without it becoming their only personality trait. Because who is Luke if not someone’s dad? Maryse gets to have this growth, this enormous change in the way she portrays herself and the way she loves her children. Luke doesn’t get that. And you can probably peg this more on racism/people not knowing what to do with Luke, but it’s sad. 

As said before, I love the Lightwoods. I love the dynamic between Jace, Izzy and Alec, and the way Maryse, Max and Robert add to the trio. I find the maturing and the changes in that family the most interesting. And Izzy going from a daddy’s girl to a mommy’s girl is the best. 

Had it not been this outrageously incestuous, I would have enjoyed the Jonathan/Clary dynamic so much! I think there was a lot of wasted potential with Clary there, with the reasons behind her going dark. It’s a little too “the demon made me do it”. Too magic based, no matter what she says in 3x20. 

And of course the Asmodeus/Magnus relationship is GREAT. It’s one of the best and most fascinating parent/child relationships on this show, at least to me. There is such a history between those two, and a deep deep resemblance. it is BELIEVABLE that Asmodeus is Magnus’ son. 

They have a way of carrying themselves, a theatricality that is just similar. I love the way they move, and talk. Magnus gets some of that slow, deliberate diction sometimes, and I LOVE it. I love the feeling you get that Asmodeus raised Magnus. And I also love the enormous differences between them. It’s so GOOD. 

Ships (gonna go with canon ones here)

Malec

Obviously gotta start with Malec. The show wasn’t originally made for them. The show became theirs though, so easily. There’s gravity in that ship, and depth, and this sense of history-making. Not only in TV, but in the Shadow World. 

It’s far from perfect. Magnus gets the short end of the stick so very often, and the writing glosses over Alec’s flaws so often that it feels like they are actively trying to erase them. 

I very much dislike the way they went with Malec in season 3, even in 3A. It was just not what I wanted for them. Magnus losing his title, his magic, his home, all for Alec... this isn’t what i wanted. It’s what I got. 

And I got some very nice things with this. This building of them as a couple that happened, of them knowing each other’s habits and wearing each other’s clothing, and the wonderful, sweet domesticity of them. 

They are a ship that manages to be both extremely dramatic and extremely domestic at the same time. And it’s so nice to see, how complex it is. 

Also, like... Alec’s immortal. I’m not having it any other way. He deserves that. 

Clace

I don’t like Clace. I don’t think I ever have, and I don’t think I ever will. My dislike for Clace was born out of dislike for Jace, mostly, then was fueled by the way Clace fans tend to act.

I do get why it’s a good ship. I do get how nice it is for Jace to be able to be okay. Do I think it’s rushed? yes, of course it is, Jace deserves therapy but... yeah. 

Sizzy

Sizzy was built on friendship chemistry, addiction, and blaming Maia for taking care of her mental health. It was built out of nowhere in season 3, because the writers thought they needed to satisfy those who wanted to see them bang. I guess they are both hot and close enough to being white that it’s sexy. 

Simon/Maureen

Could have been very cute. That’s all? 

Meliorn/Izzy

In my top 3 Izzy ships. There is an understanding and comfort between these two, a deep caring, and just something that could have been so genuinely beautiful had it been given any chance at all. 

Climon

Cuter than Clace. They were sweet together, and honestly, I could have seen it become a real interesting ship had they been developed after the cute stage. These two share history, they share memories and interests, but they have this big break, when Simon became a vampire. It would have just been wonderful to truly see that history go further. 

Too bad it fell to both antisemitic tropes and the love triangle. 

Jocelyn/Luke

I don’t see the appeal to them? I think they don’t have much romantic chemistry at all. 

Izzy/Raphael

Canon them? Bad, worse than bad. It was horrible. Just something that was wrong on a lot of levels. 

I think it could be super interesting completely in another context. Especially in regards to Raphael being asexual and Izzy being a character known for being very sexual. 

Saia

Saia is just.... everything Sizzy wishes it was. It’s healthy, it’s sweet, it’s built on mutual understanding and trust. it’s built on two people finding each other. it’s built on two people who understand the other’s experience. Traumatic events and fear, anger and pain. it’s built on people who have the tools to build a future together. 

Saia is the kind of relationship you can see going far. They fit perfectly. They are different enough that it’s not like dating a copy of yourself. They are sweet, and fun, and they care about each other and RESPECT each other, and I love that about them. 

Saia is comfortable. It’s the kind of love that’s just... wholesome. That seems to be built from steady foundations. 

(yes I’m ignoring the hellfire that is 3B). 

Marcian

Luke and Maryse. What can I say? These two kinda came out of nowhere but... it works. Luke appreciates Maryse for everything that she is. Strong, smart and beautiful. Something I think Robert didn’t appreciate enough. 

And Maryse trusts Luke. She cares about him. They went through similar things, they have shared past and shared regrets. I love that about them. That they get to build what they deserved to have in the first place. 

Heline

I don’t get it. The only reason they are together is because they were written to. They seem to have 0 stuff in common. But I guess I would know more if they were more than blank slates with “science one” and “combat one” written on them. 

aaaaand. think I’m done. 

Woman Magnet 2.0

Woman Magnet 2.0

Woman Magnet 2.0

Product Description

Alert: This program is specifically designed and intended to be used after you have finished using the entire Alpha Male Subliminal Training Set according to the directions. It requires a strong foundation, which is best developed through using the Alpha Male Set. DO NOT attempt to use this program until you have completed all six stages of the Alpha Male Subliminal Training Set according to the directions.

Woman Magnet 2.0 – formerly known as “Manifest Abundant Beautiful Women” in Version 1.0 – was created in response to a request on the forum, and built to reflect the desires of the forum members who posted on the subject. It is designed to change your thinking, attitude and beliefs regarding beautiful single women, and manifest a steady stream of them into your life. In total, this program is designed to all of the following, and more:

Change your self image to a positive one which allows you to become “that guy” who always has lots of beautiful women to socialize with, date and have sex with. Overcome social anxiety concerning beautiful women. Overcome approach anxiety concerning beautiful single women. Manifest a powerful, magnetic aura that both communicates your warmth and approachability to others and makes them want to come talk with you, but also attracts beautiful single women to you. Manifests into your life an abundance of beautiful single women with whom you can socialize, date and have sex. Makes it easy to meet and attract beautiful single women, both actively and passively. Changes your perspective to one of abundance and ease concerning the availability of beautiful single women, and meeting them. Changes your perception so that no single specific woman is of extremely high value because of the perception of scarcity, which makes your actions and attitude based on a lack of desperation, which makes you more attractive to the women you are attracting, and makes you more powerful in dealing with them. The knowledge that no matter what, you have something in common with, and of interest to, the women you are attracted to, and that discovering those commonalities and mutual interests is a great way to have fun with her. Complete lack of concern for whether she is involved, because you have the confidence to know that you are a great catch and a lack of desperation in needing to get involved with any specific woman, while at the same time attracting a steady stream of beautiful SINGLE women into your life with whom you can have a good time. To fill your free time with beautiful, single women with whom to have a good time. Makes your aura irresistibly attractive and sexy to the sort of fun, beautiful, single women you want to attract. Changes self perception to that of a high-value high status man, as a man, as well as sexually and romantically. You will see yourself as being someone who has something to offer women sexually and romantically that makes you worth their interest and pursuit in these areas, and you will be able to deliver on it. Creates and capitalizes on a special sort of manifestation and success momentum concerning attracting and dealing with beautiful single women. Improves self esteem, self respect, self worth, self reliance and self security. And more! New in Version 2.0, taken from suggestion from our customers themselves:

Built in 5th Generation format, making it much more powerful, fast acting and effective than 4G. Uses HyperSpeed Technology, which ramps up the 5th Gen build format and makes it much more powerful, fast acting and able to overcome resistance. Uses Self Optimizing Scripting, which allows HyperSpeed Technology to actually become self-configuring for optimal efficiency and effectiveness at all times, actually adjusting to the user on a second by second basis. Includes the new “naturalizer” scripting, which makes even major transformations happen so naturally that you’ll feel like you’ve always been that way. Helps you live in the moment, instead of worrying about the past, or “what if”. Gratitude programming. Everything is better with gratitude! Helps generate an abundance of good things in your life, naturally focused according to the title. Success programming, but focused on – women! Generates a reality in which you become pursued and approached wherever you go. Allows you to see beyond just a woman’s looks, and discover her inner beauty as well. Eye seduction! Become capable of communicating with, and seducing, women using just your eyes. I love this part. Loving life. If you’re having a great time being alive, you’ll naturally attract women who want to feel good. And everyone wants to feel good. Generating more self trust. Trusting yourself helps a lot with relaxing into the role of, and naturally becoming, a playful social alpha. Authenticity and congruency programming. Everything is possible programming. Deservedness programming – a big one that makes a huge difference. Intuition enhancement and observational enhancement, designed to allow you to know which women are interested, how, in what, and when, so you can act on it appropriately for the situation. Limitlessness programming. Life without limits is a life lived fully. Gets women to express their interest in you both physically and verbally, and in ways that are as obvious as possible. Focuses on attracting high quality beautiful SINGLE women into your life. Status booster works to turn you into a high status, high quality, high class and high value playful social alpha male. Allow yourself to fully express your passions during sex, while being able to shift to deep, intimate lovemaking if you wish. Be able to handle, and manage, multiple relationships and sexual partners simultaneously, if that is your desire. Increases openness, and focuses on relaxed honesty. There is no man more attractive than the one who is honest, because such a man can be trusted, and only through trust in the man she is interested in does a woman’s potential truly bloom. Self image programming strips off negative self imagery and shifts you to acceptance and appreciation of your body and how you look, while still wanting to improve (or at least maintain) it. Positive attitude, positive thinking. Ego balancing. Ability to let go and relax, because you know everything will be okay. Be genuinely interested in discovering new things, have genuine interest in others, and therefore naturally and automatically enjoy meeting, getting to know and spending time with others. Working on your body, taking care of yourself, and being interested in self improvement physically. Self acceptance as a high status, high class, high quality playful social alpha male – a genuine ladies man. Own your accomplishments with socializing and women, instead of discounting them as luck, accidental, random, or something else. Sexiness programming that makes you project an aura of sexiness and adjusts your speech, attitude, movement and body language to express your sexiness in a neutral manner that neither says you are desperate nor says to her that you are trying to seduce her. The result is a very sexy, magnetic and attractive man, whom ladies find unique and gravitate to naturally. Opening yourself up to trust others, but not so much that you are foolish or unreasonably vulnerable. Kill the creepiness factor, and the fear of coming across as creepy, and replace it with solid confidence instead. Strong knowledge and confidence in your skills and value as a boyfriend, lover, etc. which gives you the attitude, speech patterns, body language and belief that you are among the very best, if not the absolute best there is in those areas, while manifesting that as an outward reality that is not just a belief in your head. “Alpha anxiety” destruction. For those of you who worry about “being alpha enough”, or not being “as alpha as you should be”, this will kill the need to be good enough, and allow you to just become the programming and express it naturally. Understanding that you are not perfect, and allowing yourself to express vulnerabilities, which makes you approachable to others, especially women. Continues the programming from AM to prevent you from allowing yourself to be manipulated by others, especially women. For those who choose to be monogamous, it triggers gratitude in being with just the woman you choose, and allows you to be happy with and enjoy being with just her. Confidently and successfully recognize, and respond to, the tests and drama women give you, remaining calm and in control, and having a calming effect on the situation at the same time, and in the end demonstrating such alpha self mastery that she ends up wanting you even more. Improves and empowers communication with women, as well as communication skills in general. The ability to make deep contact with a woman when you want to, in order to get through to her in powerful ways that grab her attention and make her understand what you are communicating. Communicate with women in powerful, playful and physical ways which pull her to you and bring you closer together. The ability to lead her to the best possible outcome from the situation, for you both. The ability to shift yourself between serious, playful, sexual, and heartfelt, at will, smoothly and effectively, and back to any other of those states again. Maximizes and magnifies social proof. Let go of negativity, anger or hatred for women, and replace it with love and appreciation for them as a whole – while refusing to allow yourself to be mistreated by them in any way. Make women feel good and have a good time being around you, and enjoy doing so for yourself. Sense and naturally express exactly the right level of “sexual threat” that she wants and needs from you for the goal you have concerning her sexually, while otherwise remaining non-threatening. Destroy beliefs and thoughts that women are or should be uncomfortable around you, and replace this with knowledge that they appreciate and enjoy your company instead. Understanding and acceptance that attraction, love and sexual interaction are natural, not forced, and allow them to flow and become, naturally. Make it possible for multiple women to enjoy your company at the same time, regardless of how attracted they may be to you. Destruction of approach anxiety and agenda. Enhances flirting skills. Achieve a natural state in which your expectations are zero and you have only the intent of laughing, having fun with and conversing with people you dont yet know, without neediness or agenda. Fear destruction programming helps remove and destroy all types of fear.

Woman Magnet 2.0

Woman Magnet 2.0

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