There are so many times I want to post my thoughts about how certain aspects of the faith come across differently to me now that I’m not Catholic anymore (especially certain Bible verses), but it’s hard to think of a way to word things that doesn’t come across like I’m trying to “start shit.”

I suppose this could be a prayer request, but I wrote this with the intention of getting your opinion and maybe some advice.

I really need to go to confession but I am afraid because of my parents, mainly my mom. She’s Catholic but doesn’t...I don’t know, doesn’t see a need for it unless you’ve done something really terrible. I’ve done terrible things that I do NOT want her to know about but I’m scared that if I tell her I need to go to confession, she’ll want to know why. Or she will wonder what horrible thing I could’ve done that would make me, her shy, anxious daughter who has literally run away from human interaction before, want to go spill all of my secrets to a priest. And even worse, I have received the Eucharist KNOWING I am not in a state of grace because I am afraid of her reaction. I don’t want to skip church because that’s also a sin, but I don’t know how I am supposed to go about not receiving in front of my parents, or asking her to take me to confession, because at the moment I do not have a way of getting to church on my own. I don’t have a license (I’m trying to get it though for this reason exactly) or a friend to take me. My sister might, but she isn’t the best at keeping my personal life out of the ears of her friends. What should I do? And sorry if this is a lot to ask, I didn’t know where else to go

My advice is, this should be kept between you and God alone, considering we have what is called the Seal of Confession. It is no one’s business what your sins are and doesn’t concern them, even your your parents demand you tell them or the country you live in.

The right thing to do, I would suggest is to sit down with your parents when they can give you the fullest attention. Tell them you need to talk about something, as it is very important. Explain that you have sins to confess and your concern is that you wouldn’t feel right to receive communion the next time we go as a family until you go to confession and repent. Tell them in detail of how important this is for you to get done, because you want to grow in your faith. I would not tell them the sins, as spoken above, that’s between you and God alone.

Offer suggestions to how you could get to the church in time for the confession. Ask if they could kindly drive you there, ask if your sister could drive you, ask if a trusted neighbor drive you (since friends aren’t in good numbers), ask if you could bike there, walk there, take a bus or cab, ask if a teacher could lend a ride (if you already spoken to the teacher beforehand and get their contact information for your parents to confirm), etc. You could also suggest -if your confession hours allow it- that as a family drive to church early to have confession before the mass starts. It is better to ask for help than to bottle up fear and anxiety inside. Don’t worry if someone will make fun of you, for we are all sinners, God’s children.

{If worse comes to worse, and your parents say no, then you can sit when Communion happens until Confession is available to you at the proper time. You won’t have to miss church. Pray this prayer:

Every church is different for times and days for Confession. Make sure you familiarize yourself with the schedule, or get in touch with your priest to see if time can be set aside for you. Remember that God loves you and will never abandon you, no matter how many sins we have. He waits kindly and patiently for you.}

If you’re curious about what the Church says about the Seal of Confession, this is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

1467 Given the delicacy and greatness of this ministry and the respect due to persons, the Church declares that every priest who hears confessions is bound under very severe penalties to keep absolute secrecy regarding the sins that his penitents have confessed to him. He can make no use of knowledge that confession gives him about penitents’ lives. This secret, which admits of no exceptions, is called the “sacramental seal”, because what the penitent has made known to the priest remains “sealed” by the sacrament.

Be safe and God bless!