do you know how much i'd kill to insert myself into cookingracha (chan, lee know, seungmin)..

Caught - Part Two

Sam x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You're arrested and interrogated as an accomplice to the notorious Winchester brothers.

Warning: Talk of past violence, death of parents, murder, rape, torture and domestic abuse/violence.

Words: 2.8k

Beta:  ilikaicalie

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You’ve had the dreams since you were a kid. They were mostly about small stuff like the weather or the score of a football game. They were vivid dreams, so mundane that you would have deemed them insignificant if it weren’t for the fact that they always came true.

It didn’t end there. Just like the visions, the other things came small and slow as you grew older. You could roll a pencil off the desk without touching it or make the lights go out without getting anywhere near the switch.

Small stuff, bad stuff, that your mother caught you doing when you were fourteen and put the kibosh to your wild imagination.

“No child of mine…” she mumbled, dragging you upstairs by the arm.

She was deeply religious, and couldn't bear the idea of you being part of something she deemed ‘the devil’. In her mind it was all the same, Ouija boards, fortune tellers and pentagrams, it was all worshipping a horned beast.

That was the road to hell and she wasn’t about to let you walk it.

Five Years Ago

Sam holds open the door of Pinkie’s Diner and follows you inside. It sounds ridiculous but he’s so close you can feel the energy coming off him as if he’s vibrating on some frequency you’re attuned to.

The smell of greasy fries and fresh coffee wash over you like a welcomed familiarity. With one hand on your arm, Sam leads the way to a back booth, ensuring that you sit before taking a seat himself. The waitress does a double-take when she gets a good look at your battered face. Her eyes shift to Sam, then his bruised knuckles.

You can only imagine what the two of you must look like. He’s working the whole pissed off hulk vibe and you look like the poster child for the domestic violence hotline.

“You kids alright?” she asks, tapping her pad with the eraser end of a pencil.

Are you alright? No, no you’re not.

“We’re fine,” Sam grunts. “Two coffees please.”

She gives you a look but doesn't say anything else before walking away.

He stares at you for a solid minute before asking the question that’s been eating him up inside.  “How’d you learn how to do that?”

“Do what?” you ask quietly, dropping your head to stare at your hands. You know exactly what he’s talking about.

Sam sits silently but you feel him fixated on you, he might as well be twisting your arm. “I didn’t learn how to do anything, I just…I’ve never done anything like that before. It was always dreams and then today...I don’t know. I just watched you and I knew I could help.”

“I don’t believe you.” Sam’s hostile, imposing his own personal brand of interrogation. He snaps forward in his seat, both hands balled on the table. He looks like a wild animal, poised and at the ready to tear you apart if you so much as breathe the wrong way.

If you hadn’t spent the last twenty-four hours in a car with him you might be scared, but you’re fairly sure you make him just as nervous as he makes you.

“I don’t need you to believe me,” you growl, eyes narrowing. “You show up out of nowhere in the middle of that shit storm, kidnap me, drive me out into the boondocks and now you’re calling me a liar? You’re the one who’s fucked, buddy.”

You slap the table in frustration, the grief rising into your throat. Sam’s watching something behind you and you turn to see the waitress leaning over the counter talking to one of the patrons. They’re both staring at you, whispering to one another.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Sam continues, lowering his voice as his eyes flick back to you. “You can’t just get that strong out of nowhere. There’s no way. I worked for a year and Istill needed...help.”

“I don’t even know what that means!” you hiss. You want to be mad but you’re too tired for this shit right now. Hours of unchecked adrenaline have worn off and you’re a shell, numb and drained. Nails dig into your palms as you clench both fists. “I just came home to find-” You have to stop, choking on your own words as tears well up. “I walked into the kitchen and those two guys had my mom pinned to the fucking counter and they were cutting her. I couldn’t even scream I was so scared. The other guy was holding my dad but I knew he was already dead, there was so much blood, no one could survive that. I must have surprised them, but all I remember is being punched in the jaw and everything went black. When I opened my eyes, you were there.”

You’re sobbing quietly, so sleep deprived that you can’t even begin to control your emotions.

“It’s okay.” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” Sam relaxes a little, reaching across the table to pat the back of your hand. “I’m sorry about your parents. I tried to get there in time. I tried to save them.”

The waitress arrives with two cups of coffee, setting them in the middle of the table.

“Anything else I can get for you two?” Indignantly she eyes Sam who looks irked by her unspoken accusation.

“You hungry?” he asks and you nod yes. “Two burgers and fries. To go, please.”

“I’d like a cheeseburger,” you add, wiping tears from your cheek with the sleeve of your shirt.

“You got it, sweetheart.” She offers you a sad little smile and walks away.

“Why don’t you tell me how the hell you did that?” you whisper, staring at him. “You pull some Chuck Norris moves and then black smoke is coming out of people. “

“You helped with that,” he counters, cocking his head.

“It’s not like I knew I could...until I did it.” You drop your head. You’ve always been so desperate to fit in. To be like everyone else. But after the last twenty-four hours, it’s never been more obvious that you couldn’t be less normal. You’re an oddity, but it seems like maybe this guy is too.

“And what exactly is it that you did, Y/N?”

“I don’t know.” You roll your eyes, tipping the back of your head against the booth. You’re exasperated and exhausted. “I just grabbed your hand, closed my eyes and concentrated and bam. Exploding, sizzling black smoke was coming out of people’s mouths.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never done anything like that before,” Sam insists, both hands sliding palm down across the table as he leans closer.

“I swear to God, I have no idea what’s going on. I’m scared and hungry. I can’t think anymore. Please, Sam. Just lay off for a little bit, will ya?”

This seems to strike a chord, he nods toward the motel across the parking lot. “We can get a room for a couple of hours. You can sleep if you want.”

“So we’re getting rooms together now?” you raise an eyebrow.

“Y/N,” he shakes his head, at the end of his rope as much as you are. “You’re just gonna have to trust me.”

There’s something about him. Maybe it’s his eyes, Sam has kind eyes. But you also watched him kill with the ease and precision of someone trained to do it. He might be trustworthy but he’s also lethal. “Are you going to throw me over your shoulder again if I try to leave?”

“No, I won’t try to stop you,” he confirms. Sitting back in the booth, tucking his arms under the table.

“But?” You swirl your finger in a circle. “Come on. I know there’s big ol’ but coming.”

“You need to stay with me. You’re not safe.”

“Not safe? Not safe from black smoke?”

“Among other things.”

“Wonderful,” you mutter, more to yourself than him.

A fifty dollar room and a cheeseburger later you’re feeling a little less like walking death. You shower, peeling off dirty clothes you’d rather burn than put back on. There are little splatters of blood on everything if you look close enough, even your underwear is a reminder of what happened, little red dots that soaked through your jeans.

“You think there’s a laundromat around here?” you ask, inching out of the musty bathroom with a tiny motel towel wrapped around you.

“Probably, but you can’t go like that and I can’t leave you alone.” He’s careful not to look at you, surprisingly respectful for someone who easily breaks so many other rules.

Sam digs through his things, offering you a wrinkled shirt from his backpack. “It’s clean.”

“Thanks.”

The flannel falls almost to your knees, it’s long enough that you’re willing to brave going to sleep without putting dirty panties back on. You crawl into the bed furthest from the door and watch Sam watch TV until your eyes finally close.

Present Day

“Talk to me about what your life is like?” The psychiatrist sits across the table from you. He’s an unassuming, mousy little man in his late fifties, maybe he’s older but it’s hard to get a read on him.

“Boring,” you huff, picking at the peeling laminate covering the table top.

“I find that hard to believe,” he counters, smiling softly at you. “They found your fingerprints at a break-in. That doesn’t sound boring at all to me.”

“I don’t usually participate in that part of things,” you admit, sitting back in the chair. This is an intricate dance between honesty and a story you need to weave. They already know a lot, there’s no point in denying most of it.

“Tell me then, what is your role in all of this?”

“Laundry,” you shrug, looking him in the eyes. “Cooking, cleaning, moral support.”

“So, Sam and Dean go out and do the dirty work and you what? Keep the home fires burning?”

“Pretty much.”

“That must be hard. Isolating. Do you ever stay in one place for very long?”

Is he fishing for information for the cops? You’re not sure. This could just be him honestly trying to get a handle of what your day-to-day life entails.

If only he knew. The bunker is a full-time job. It’s huge and when you’re not playing doomsday housewife, there are rooms of files to be organized and documents to be scanned and electronically catalogued. There’s always something to be done.

“Sometimes,” you admit. “When it’s safe.”

“And Sam leaves you on your own?”

“Yeah...” you nod, beginning to understand where this is headed.

“He must really trust you...to leave you alone without worrying that you’ll run away.”

“He does,” you respond simply.

“Did you ever try?”

“Try what?” Your eyes narrow, watching him jot down notes on his legal pad. “Did I try to get away from him?”

“Yes,” he confirms, pulling off his glasses to look at you. “Did you ever try to tell someone what happened to you? Or attempt an escape?”

“Yeah, a couple of times.” You smile to yourself thinking about those first months.

“And what happened?”

“The first time the men who killed my parents came for me. Sam had to save my ass yet again from certain death. And the second time he caught me and talked me into staying.”

“That must have been some conversation,” he offers quietly without looking up.

“It was.” Your mouth twitches as those memories flood back. Sam’s earnest declaration of affection and a kiss that said everything else. A sad little motel room with decaying wallpaper and the feeling of his hands on your skin. The stretch of him inside you that first time. You fucked on a squeaky mattress while Dean waited in the car for his brother to convince you to come back. “He made a lot of really good points.”

“Has he ever hurt you?” he asks, tapping the inky tip of the pen on the paper.

This is where things get...delicate.

You need them to keep you here. You’ve been in holding at the local sheriff’s office for two days now. When they do move you, it’ll be to a more secure facility. It doesn’t matter if that’s a psychiatric hospital or the county jail. Both of those places are hard to get out of. You need to stay here, where it’s easy for Sam to get to you. He’ll come for you, it’s only a matter of time. That is if he’s alive, but you have to have faith. It’s all you’ve got anymore.

If you refuse to talk about it, they’ll label you as uncooperative and formally arrest you. After processing you’d be sent to the county jail. If they think you’re nuts, finally broken after years with the Winchesters, you’ll be committed, at least for a while.

This place is best. Security is minimal, but you doubt you’ve got too much longer. They have to know that Sam will try to get you out.

“Y/N,” Dr. Harold repeats himself. “I asked if Sam has ever hurt you.”

If you say no, if you try to explain that the people in the video they have are not you and Sam, he’ll think you’re delusional. You have to admit to at least some of it, despite how sick the very idea makes you feel.

“Not on purpose.”

There. That’s honest.

“I’m going to show you some photos and I want you to tell me what happened.” He opens a folder, pulling the first page. He turns it in your direction sliding it across the table. “You were calling yourself Tabitha Ripley.”

They found your fake IDs. They have more than you realized, every fake name you’ve used over the past five years.

You’re staring at a hospital admission form and three grainy photos from various angles. Your face is beaten and swollen. Two black eyes swelled shut and a broken nose that made your entire face blow up like a balloon. You looked like that for weeks.

And it wasn’t just your face, you’d broken an arm and a collar bone in that fight. It was a vampire that intended to avenge the death of his nest. It followed Sam home and nearly killed you before Dean came back early and saved your bacon. That was the attack that finally spurred Sam to teach you how to defend yourself.

“I, umm,” you gulp, remembering of the weight of the creature on top of you with its arm around your throat. You’d thought that was it, you were going to die on the shag carpet of an abandoned house. “I was mugged.”

“I see.” He makes a mark on his paper. “What about this one? You were calling yourself Holly Costagan, I believe.”

“Shit,” you breathe out. You’ve tried to put this incident out of your mind. Out of all the awful things that have happened to you, this was by far the most traumatic.

They were hunters. Four men who were convinced that Sam was the enemy, that he was going to end the world somehow. When they couldn’t find Sam they took you as their consolation prize and tortured you. The black and blue fingerprints around your wrist, the burn on your forearm, and the remaining scar are a painful reminder of the older man holding your arm over the stove.

There are still several dozen scars on your back from the tiny cuts they made, insistent on asking questions you didn’t have the answers to. They had you for a week before Sam broke down the door and killed all four of them.

Your hands shake as you trace over the hospital photos.

“This wasn’t Sam.” You close your eyes, unable to look at them anymore.

“Another mugging?” The doctor asks, his tone is gentle, he wants you to share. He probably thinks he can help you if he can get you to open up.

“Yeah,” you confirm staring at your hands. “Another mugging.”

“We can help, you know,” he offers. “You’re not the only one. Lots of women don’t leave. You don’t need to worry about what people will think, we’re professionals and we understand what you’ve been through. We have doctors who can help you heal. But we need you to cooperate with the police. I can’t do anything for you if you're in prison.”

This is it, right where you need to be. They think you’re abused but rational. They’ll keep you here for questioning and you can stall, for days if need be. A traumatized victim can ask for breaks, draw out the process long enough for Sam and Dean to come and get you.

“Okay,” you nod, looking at him with a wilted smile. “What do you want to know?”

Mt Hood 50k PR - Race recap

I decided to give the 50 K another stab over this last weekend.

It had been a year, and although I signed up for Mount Hood 50K in January, I wasn’t quick enough and ended up on the waitlist somewhere way down the line.

When I was emailed to see if I wanted to participate, I had seven days to prepare.. That isn’t very much time!

Luckily I had been doing some runs that were three and four hours long a few weeks before the race, (including one at Waldo Lake that ended up being 19 miles about 10 days before the race, where I biffed it on the trail, and I still have bruises from). Still, I definitely would not consider myself trained for a 50k! In fact, I was probably trained just enough to get myself into trouble.

I like potential disasters a lot, so this was a perfect opportunity handed to me.

My pre-race prep included looking for campsites and talking a friend into coming along –and then also talking her into volunteering.

I was so glad that Lynn joined me! And, I didn’t realize this, but when she decided to volunteer, it secured us a campsite right next to the start and finish, which I would’ve had some difficulty finding that close to the race.

I cut back on running considerably the last 6 days before the race, because my legs had been feeling rather tired, and I ran 14 miles on the PCT (including climbing) the day before I was offered the spot.. and the 19 mile run was three days before that.

It was a conscious choice to put my energy into resting and trying to get better sleep, eating a little bit less for that week and to withhold running to create a desire to run far: Fresh legs and a fresh mind.

I still managed to do a couple of short runs just to burn some calories during race week, but none of them were more than 40 minutes.

PRERACE The day before, I hardly ate until about 12 pm, when I found an incredible Mexican restaurant in Salem Oregon, and ate one and a half fish tacos.

The tacos were bigger than I expected and I left the tortillas off the second one. The vegetable bar was great- I ate a bunch of pickled carrots!!.. I also had a craving for Pepsi (and picked some up at the store), which I drank, along with coffee, on the way to the campsite at Clackamas lake. I made sure to drink plenty of water once I got to the lake that evening.

NOTE: This may not be the best nutrition plan for everyone else, but it sounded good to me.

Unfortunately I kept stopping on the way to Clackamas lake, and didn’t end up getting there until maybe 5 PM. At that point I set up the tent and started walking out of the campground to watch the 50 miler finishers.

On the way out, I ran into my friend, Lynn. We parked her car and went to the race start, where we watched some very inspiring ultra runners finishing a long, long day.

I got to say “hi” to the race directors and feel the vibe coming off of the finish line. There’s nothing like hearing the music and seeing exhausted, but happy, faces who have just completed something monumental.

After a little bit I decided to buy my dinner there, and purchased a pulled pork sandwich and some coleslaw. This wasn’t my planned race night meal, but I didn’t realize the drive from Government Camp to Clackamas lake took so long– and driving over that pass freaks me out!

We hit the sack about 10 PM and I set my alarm for 5 AM even though check-in time was 6:30 to 7:30 AM.

I did not sleep particularly well, and even had some bad dreams about my kids, and in the night Lynn stepped on my glasses! Luckily, I had plenty of contact lenses and never intended to wear the glasses to race in.

RACE DAY Despite the lack of sleep, I felt pretty good in the morning when I got up, and went right to making some coffee on the camp stove.

For breakfast, I had some bacon and potatoes that I had cooked up previously and brought with me, warmed up on the stove with some eggs. (I can run a 5K on oatmeal, but I don’t think I can do it for 50k.) I also threw down some blueberries which were on the edge of going bad!

At about 7 o'clock I went to check in with Lynn. It was still pretty cold and I kept my jacket on with my shorts and Orange Mud race tank. I tried to wait at the start, but I got so cold I ended up going over by Gone creek in the sunshine and sitting there for about 20 minutes and stretching.

Finally, we lined up to start and I set my jacket off to the side. I had given pacing some thought, and decided to break the course up into uphill and flat/downhill sections. The first part of the race was downhill, so instead of going out slowly, my plan was to go a little bit faster and then intentionally slow down on the first uphill section, then go faster again on the downhill.. (repeat until not possible).

There were quite a few ladies in front of me and of course lots of guys!

I kept with a woman in Nike Pro compression shorts until about mile three when I decided she was going a little faster than I wanted to go.. she ended up finishing about 20 minutes ahead of me, so that was probably a good choice!

My goal was to average nine to 10 minute miles on the downhills, and 12 to 13 minute miles on the uphills.. hopefully ending up about 11 minute miles which is close to my PR.–I also figured that I might totally die anywhere around mile 15. –Somehow, crashing and burning didn’t sound like a bad plan. I wanted to take a little risk, rather than regret not doing so.

When I hit the first aid station, I saw Lynn there with the other volunteers. I was happy to have made it that far and mile six came faster than my watch said. The Garmin 735XT said that I had only reached a little past 5 miles, but I think that it was in the early stages of trying to figure out where the race was with GPS. Regardless, I lost about a mile in the first section of the race on my watch, and was actually running faster than I thought I was!

At this aid station, I made a full stop, just like at all the others. They had cans of Coke there, and Pringles! I had Skout bars and gels on me, but I was saving them. I ate a slice of watermelon, about four chips, and half a can of coke.

Since it was a cupless race, I didn’t realize that I might not see Coke in cans again later! It was much more convenient that way than at later aid stations, when I tried to pour it into my flask, when my flask already had water in it.

After the quick refuel, there was lots of climbing to the next stop. Much of the segment I was running alone, as we had spread out after the first section.

There were plenty of rocks and roots to pay attention to, but most of the trail in between was a fine powdered dirt. The only other runners I saw were at a bit of a distance ahead of me or behind me every once in a while appearing through the trees. I was grateful for the Orange confidence markers that were left, as well as good signage at connecting trails.

When I reached the second aid station, I was still feeling good, and looked for a way to get some Coke. I think I dumped out my flask, and poured it halfway full with Coke, drank that, then filled it with water again. This took a little time, but I don’t think it hurt me in the end. I also ate one of the new mystery gels that I had been given to test. It hit the spot!

A couple of people passed me at the aid station and I decided not to worry about it. I was running my own race, and that’s all that mattered.

I headed out onto another uphill section and was surprised in 2 miles by one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen in a race! Mount Hood appeared through the trees in a breathtaking way.

All of that climbing, and the reward was there to see in full glory! A few minutes later and I could no longer look at the view because there were runners barreling downhill towards me!!

The top males were close on each other’s heels at that point, and I did my best to move off the trail for each one of them. It’s something else to see someone running trails at that speed. I didn’t want to get ran over, but I was certainly impressed.. and it wasn’t much longer until the elite ladies were also tearing down the trail.

I hit the crest of that hill knowing that I hadn’t even hit halfway in the race, and still had a couple miles to get to the next aid station. I was starting to feel the need to use the restroom and, unfortunately, this kind of thing can’t seem to be avoided in a 50K.

Arriving at the turnaround aid station, I asked if they had a porta-potty and they did not. They said they had plenty of bushes and wet wipes, but with that many people there I was feeling a little shy! I let a couple of people go ahead of me mainly because I did not want them to catch me using the restroom. I don’t know if I ever caught them again– and I don’t really care. What had to be done, had to be done!

After scrambling back out of the trees, I hit the trail again and headed out for the remaining 17-something miles. I was feeling a little lighter, and also realizing I probably needed to fuel more.

I came down the hill and saw who had been running behind me. It seemed to take forever to get to the forest service road aid station.

At this point, exhaustion was starting to creep in. I wasn’t too concerned about how long I would take at the aid station.. I took my flask and poured water over my head.

Immediately, and aid station volunteer noticed and offered to sponge me off with some water from an orange bucket. That sounded like a much better plan than the one going through my head which was to sit down in the nearest Creek before moving on.

She started to put the wet sponges is on me and I couldn’t help grabbing them and making sure I was quite soaked before I left. My phone got wet, so, after being reassured that it would make it to the start, I left it with a volunteer.

The whole getting wet business may sound a bit ridiculous, but I swear this was a game changer! I don’t like being wet when I am running, but being 10 to 20° cooler feeling has an amazing affect! I had energy again!!! I ate another gel and drank a little Coke, and ate a couple chips. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to keep me going.

After leaving the station, I came across a man who seemed to be running about the same pace. He was right behind me and we ran together for almost the entire segment. I was in the front, and he Supermanned it at one point. Luckily he was OK. This was kind of technical, and it could’ve easily been me. I probably tripped a couple of times but, managed not to fall somehow.

Approaching the Little Crater aid station for the second time, I saw Lynn again. She was smiling and taking pictures and I gave her a big old hug. And then I did quite a bit of complaining. Someone asked me if I needed anything, and I said “a helicopter” …jokingly of course! But, that’s how I felt with 10 miles to go.

For some reason I thought I had only 5 miles to go to the next aid station, but Timothy lake looked enormous! I ran into a group on horseback in here, and moved over and got still for them to pass.

How long would it take me to run to the next station around that lake ?? I didn’t want to even think about it. I kept telling myself to just run. My words of confidence to myself were, “it is an ultra. It’s supposed to hurt.” “You can do this. You can do anything for a few hours”..

I was in the pain cave. This is the point when I wondered if running 30 miles in training would actually help.

Coming around Timothy lake before heading to the last aid station, I started to look at the total time on my watch and wondered if I could make it to the finish in time to beat my goal of just finishing in 11 minute miles… Under 5:46. That would mean a PR. It would also mean I would have to keep my legs moving in a fashion that somewhat resembles running, and not start walking!

Miles kept clicking by slowly, then there was another view of Mount Hood across the lake. It was breathtaking, and if I was done running, it would’ve been an excellent place to sit down and drink something cold, with my feet in the water… But I had about an hour left to run!

Eventually I made it across a dam and saw the final aid station. There was someone misting people, and I made sure to get fully sprayed, as I had dried out completely from the last sponging! It was refreshing to say the least.

I wasn’t sure how much I needed to feel at this point but didn’t want to crash. I ate half of my skout bar and took my flask and put half ginger ale and half Glukose drink in it. I wasn’t caring the flask full because it had to be scrunched down to keep it from pounding me on the breastbone.

I couldn’t remember whether the terrain was uphill or downhill for the last section, and no longer had my phone to consult the map. I just decided to do my best to keep my feet jogging. It started downhill and then went uphill again.

Somewhere in here, I pulled off in the bushes to go to the restroom again. I was doing a good job of drinking and I will never feel bad about stopping because I’m hydrating well. I’m still new to ultras, but I have ran races dehydrated before and won’t take that risk again.

A man passed me somewhere near mile 28, and I had a man close behind me for miles. If I ’t knew how close I was to the finish line I might have given it more effort.

Soon, I started to see little cabins, and the thought occurred to me I might be getting near the finish line. My watch read that I still had a mile to go (One can never trust their watch in an ultra! I have been wrong the other way and had another mile to go and I thought I was done- Silver Falls).

A few strides later, and I could hear people at the finish line.. and then I saw it! Was the clock correct? Could that really be an 11 after the five hours? How in the world could that be?? I was surprised to be the first master female (Which scored my some new Oofos sandals, though I was still more than an hour behind the first female overall!) and happy beyond belief.

(My post race shock selfie #idontdoselfies)

POST RACE I beat my own expectations by 30 minutes, and I happily crossed the line with a massive PR that I can only attribute to a beautiful course, (without 5000 feet of climbing), keeping cool, and making plenty of maintenance stops. It sure wasn’t the long training runs!

I’ve joked about retiring from the 50k, but this course actually makes me want to give it another shot. Maybe it takes five or six before you begin to figure out how to do well at them. I still don’t think that ultra running is my best game, but perhaps there is hope for improvement and satisfaction in learning and growing in the long haul!

GRATITUDE I’m particularly thankful for my sister and brother-in-law who watched the boys while I went to the race. They kept them very entertained and the boys really enjoy spending time with their Aunt Andrea and Uncle Chuck.

I’m also grateful for my dad and mom who have watched the boys when I went out on some adventure runs that ended up being my only long training runs for this race.

And, of course, I owe much to my husband, who does not come to any of my races, but shows unfailing support in his own way by working diligently to support our family and fund my crazy escapades, and who has tolerated my intense need for running therapy over the years. Thanks Babe.

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What is the title of the strangest book you own? I know I have an old book somewhere entitled Sing a Song of Tuna Fish, which I got when I was I think 8. Enjoyed quite a bit at the time and reread it a few times too. That’s the weirdest one I have. How often do you actually wake up in a good mood? Kind of rarely these days. I hate 6 AM call times EVERY DAY. What can we usually find you doing on a Friday night? Friday nights are always reserved for Gabie, whether we’re staying in or eating out. We mix up the itinerary every week, so there’s no usual. What would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? Right now that title belongs to Charlie Puth, but I don’t necessarily feel guilty about enjoying his music... Tell me all about your special lady/gentleman. She has just the prettiest, the purest, and the sweetest soul. She has this vibe about her that makes her loved by everyone; even all of my orgmates love having her around. She’s great at reading and making poetry, and is the smartest person I know.

What is the highest outdoor temperature you've ever had to endure? Malaysia was pretty hot and dry, but I was never able to note the temperature. Here in the Philippines, the worst was probably 36-37ºC. The humidity made it worse too so technically that would increase it to around 42ºC. And the lowest? That belongs to either Japan (too cold I couldn’t even speak and stayed clinging to my dad so I could walk properly) or Sagada at 4 AM. Japan at the time had a one-digit temperature in Celsius, and Sagada was 10ºC. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. I don’t actually know...Filipino kids aren’t all that witty. I just remember being entertained by my godson one time, who genuinely cared for ants and thinks they should be left undisturbed. It was even funnier the way his eyebrows were knitted so much in concern. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Sure, the only exception being the dining table. Can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you? The fact that I don’t know anything right now means I probably can’t, haha. I had no slight clue Mike liked me the way he did and how serious he was about it, that’s another case. I can read people very well, but I’m just very oblivious when it comes to this. Do you know what things your pet(s) prefers to eat? My dog loves his rice and his meat. In other words, human food. That’s what he grew on and that’s what he ended up loving most. What would you plant in your dream garden? Please don’t trust me with plants. Do you believe in fairies, gnomes, or elves? .....No? What does your wallet look like? Filled with pieces of paper that I know I have to throw out but just can’t be bothered to. Some bills in it too, and tons of coins. What is your favorite thing to cook for someone else? I can only make instant noodles for Gab but thankfully she never gets tired of it. Tell me about the last book you read. It talks about Asian imperialism and touched on how the Japanese basically became the bully in the entire continent. It was annoying to contemplate on it in the first place since I definitely knew what my country had to go through under them, come to find out even more of their atrocities in China. Apparently they liked raping women and either cutting children in half or burning them, so that was an absolute joy to read. Who was the last person to leave you flustered? Haven’t felt that recently. What's the last thing you ate that was made with phyllo dough? I’m not sure. Have you ever bought underwear simply because it made your underwear drawer look nice? I guess, yeah? Describe the outfit that makes you look and feel your best. I have a variety of those that I just whip out whenever I want to have the feeling that I know I look good. A tight black tank top and ripped jeans usually does the trick most times though. What can you see from where you're sitting? The entire dining area and part of the kitchen. I would also see the guest bathroom from here but the door is closed. When you have a chance at happiness, do you allow yourself to take it? Yes, but most of the time I can be wary at first; and generally I don’t let myself wallow in being happy for too long because it’s always taken away from me harshly at some point. What are some bands others would be surprised to find in your music library? I never let anyone know about my punk taste to begin with so I’m sure they’d be most surprised if I suddenly tuned into my Misfits or Cro-Mags discography. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? I’m not familiar with the name. I might know what they are as chips, but I never bother learning about what they are called most of the time haha. Tell me something about yourself that you're most proud of. I study in the top university in the country. What do you like to dunk in your coffee, if anything? I dont dunk my food in it. What was the subject of the last documentary you watched? Haven’t sat down to view a docu in so long but the last one was probably about the feral child, Genie. What sort of things do you do when you have the entire evening to relax? Surveys, call my girlfriend, watch YouTube videos, sometimes sleep early. Are there any books I should check out next time I'm at the library? Yup, not really the person to go to for book recommendations. Opinions on cold pizza? The only way to eat pizza. Do you have a favorite brand of tea? I don’t even drink tea. What's the last stupid question you were asked? (Besides these.) Hahahaha good save. Gabie asked me who Gianina (an org-mate) was even though they have met each other like five times. Her memory is so bad but sometimes it’s just asking for an eyeroll from me lol. What's been on your mind lately? How I’m going to see Paramore up close in three months. Tell me about the best thing you created with your own two hands. A pot! I made one from clay on my trip to Ilocos last August. I’ve wanted to do it since I was maybe 5 and was sooooo excited to get my hands on the wet clay. Definitely not as easy as it looks on screen but I loved how mine turned out. I couldn’t take it home though since it had to be baked and everything for a week, but I was only staying there for two days :( How strong do you like your coffee? Not strong. I want milk in my coffee. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? Not right now. Describe your morning routine. Sluggish. Always lazy. Always grumpy. What strange food combinations do you thoroughly enjoy? I would experiment mayonnaise on anything edible. What's your favorite Elvis song? I don’t have one. Are there any songs you wish your favorite band would cover? Welp not really into covers, so. Paramore’s Fleetwood Mac and Drake covers are all a solid 12/10, though. Do you enjoy talking on the phone? Only with my girlfriend. Otherwise, it’s dreadful. Are you currently waiting for something to come in the mail? Nope. Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? Away from me. What makes your best friend the best? They are patient with me. That’s all I’ve always asked for. When was the last time you felt incredibly stupid or embarrassed? Ughhhhh fuck, awhile ago because I’M THE WORST. I was at a buffet and this waiter guy is making small talk, being super friendly. Unfortunately my ears decided to be the biggest pricks right at that moment and when he asked, “Have you been seated?” I couldn’t get myself to understand him and had to ask ‘sorry?’ FOUR. TIMES. Four times to repeat the freakin’ question. I couldn’t believe my guts. I suck. Made up for it by being just as friendly after that slipup. How do you go about cheering someone up? Depends on the person because they all have their own solutions. Others want to be left alone, some want to be hugged, to be listened to, to be given advice, need a shoulder to cry on, or just need a companion to stay silent with. I do all of those with or for my loved ones. How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Yikes. Serenade me with some lyrics from the song currently stuck in your head. “If I smile with my teeth, bet you’d believe me / If I smile with my teeth, I think I believe me.” What is the last thing you wrote down? (continuing this from last night) Notes I’ve written on my readings for history class. Tell me something great about the day/night you're having. ...I had just woken up. Get back to me with this question later on in the day.

Would you ever participate in a suspension? Of? What was the last thing to annoy you? My schedule doesn’t work with everyone else’s today. :/ Name five things that begin with the letter C. Cactus, coconuts, credit card, claw, cane. What's the title of the last book you bought? Yeah about that... Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I would, actually; but mostly because I have family living there. One of my second cousins that I’m really close with, Ate Joelle, urges me every year to come hang in Texas so I probably would once I’ve the money to. I don’t know much about the state though except Christianity is kind of huge. Where do you go when you need to escape? My room, Skywalk, or the college library. How big is your town's library? Ask that to our government, who never allots enough money for institutions like that :----) We don’t have any local libraries, nor parks, nor memorials, nor a museum save for one. Which bands would play in your dream concert? My favorites won’t merge well in a concert so meh. Do you know of any home remedies that work surprisingly well? No. If you could make a movie, what would it be about? I’ll leave that to my girlfriend, the bigger film major between the two of us. Tell someone something they need to know. That they’d have to be a huge dick to wake me up the way they did earlier. What's something you've never been able to live down? When I sang for a hundred or so party guests on my 7th birthday party. My parents definitely would never let me forget it–the entire thing is on CD. What's something that's been on your to-do list for awhile? Hahahahaha ughhhhh the mockery of this question. I guess do the stuff that I’ve been needing to do in Filipino. How do you take your mind off things? Surveys usually. YouTube videos sometimes. Tell me a joke. Eh, all the good ones I know of are in Filipino. Do you own a battle jacket? Nope.