can i post about my guy roli ??? im gonna post about my guy roli

im playing him in an anime campaign game called gay campaign and hes just.

loser pilled.

like mad loser pilled-

bro's a librarian just now getting into "being a paparazzi" and also trying and failing at being cool. the paparazzi thing works out alright for him since his epithets index and he can take pictures of people using their abilities and yoink em to pull from his playing card folder/spellbook to be cast like spells later. he just hasnt taken a lot of pictures of people yet all hes got rn is a gun ability

in essence his build is just smeargle pokemon lmao

and also his main weapon isnt the gun its a skateboard sized book with wheels he calls Bucephalus (and i call his skatebook cuz its just easier for everyone involved lmao) that has a depiction of the library of alexandria decal on it and he just. rams into people. cuz it cant actually turn. its more like a small cart than a skateboard tbh

even if it steered like an actual skateboard hed still be dogshit at it

another note, he says his library of alexandria khakis are Fire and he thinks he is so so clever about it

and also not depicted at all but he has tattooed abs. in case there were any lingering feelings that he might be a little cool under all that, i can verify he is not

hes showing her the worm section of his book where he keeps track of and rates on a 1-5 scale how much the tiny little fucked up bird he has as a pet liked eating. and of course of of them are named so he could alphabetize it

anyway

last session his outfit got dunked on a total of ???? i think it was something like 4 times ???? over the span of 3 hours ???? and he got flat out told his fit is !! not cool !! and he had a moment about it

so next time he shows up he's coming back with a new outfit

current plan is to let him ram into things more about it

no new abilities now he's just a different flavor of uncool

now hes Kool

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

So I’m gonna speak up. #HijoAko

!!!Trigger Warning!!!

3 years ago. I learned that anyone can manipulate you into doing what they want. And I learned it the hard way. I’m not really read to call him out yet, but I want to share my experience and let people know that I sympathize.

LONG VERSION (Skip to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA for the short version)

Prior to these events. I’ve been avoiding Jerick. I felt like our friendship was getting.. a bit too toxic. He’d coax me to come over and with food since he lives nearby. He openly admitted it in a conversation with my friend saying “Oh, you want him to come over? Just tell him you have food. Easy.”

He’d find excuses to come over to my place (we both live alone) with statements like “I bought too much food, can I come over?”. He claims he’s depressed and that he has panic attacks. I remember he had 2 panic attacks on 2 separate classes. So a little part of me thought he was faking it so I would feel soft for him and take care of him. But at the same time.. what if he wasn’t? Worst case scenario, it’s real. So naturally, I’d do what any person would do and look after him.

I remember one time, it was our finals for one of our programming classes; GDEVDAT (idk what it meant. Game DEVelopment DATa???). He asked me to come over since he had food and so he could help me with the finals. I was in a bit of a struggle, so why not. I came over and the moment I setup my laptop he insisted that we played DoTA til well into the night. My software wasn’t working properly. So I stopped playing and asked him if he could help me fix it. He looked a little disappointed because I didn’t want to play anymore. Needless to say, it was a silent room for 2 hours. Then I walked back home at 4 am. A part of me that time felt like I wasted my time. I felt like, as the gamers call it -baited- into coming over.

He would tell me to stay away from my circle of friends since they were not his kind of crowd. He’d point out my friends’ flaws and say mean things about them. I’m not gonna drop their names, but they know who they are. So me being me, I believed him. I could see his point and thought “huh, he’s right”. Before I knew it, I was closer to him than I was to my friends. Before long, I began.. protecting him. He’d have suicidal thoughts, I’d come rushing over. He needed company, I was already there. I knew something was up at this point. Which brings me back to my disclaimer. I started avoiding him.

It felt tiring and I couldn’t get time to myself because.. well, yeah. He kept guilt tripping me into meeting up.

So here’s where it got.. fucked up.

I remember coming home after buying a mop ‘cuz my friends were gonna’ sleepover so I planned to clean before they arrived the next day (we had an overnight event at school). I then received multiple messages on facebook telling me to take care of Jerick because he was attempting a suicide. He lived nearby, so I laced up my shoes and went to his place. I come over and there are just.. guards from our school in front of his flat. I ask if they’re there for Jerick. They said said yes. But they couldn’t enter because the landlord said only the Jerick could let us in. He was pissed drunk. Moments later he comes down drunk as hell and the landlord lets us in. He smelled like vodka. Me and who I assume is the commanding officer lifted, L I F T E D –this guy was 3 times my size– back to his unit. I tell the officer that I’ll handle things. So they leave. Leaving me and Jerick alone. BAD IDEA Vince. We sat quietly in the room. I looked around, forcing to look for something to break the silence. I had a cigarette. Sat down and asked him why he had a condom on his table. He said he hooked up with a guy but he finished super fast. I deadass said “huh, maybe I should keep a condom. I heard it’s good luck for guys” at this point 2020 Me is telling 2017 me to stfu. He told me if I wanted to get my dick sucked, he was right there. He tried to pull down my shorts and force himself on me (we were sitting on the bed btw, i know. my bad). I pushed him over and he stopped. He then passed out. I sat there for a good 5 mins. Processing what just happened. I thought to myself, should I report this? or just keep it to myself? I left a note saying that I would stay quiet. I come back to my room and pass out.

He messages me the next morning saying what happened. I of course, decided to keep quiet. I didn’t want to talk to him because.. it felt weird. He says he doesn’t remember anything and what was it that I didn’t wanna tell anyone. Remember we had  an event at school? I told him personally. He said he was sorry and that he was drunk etc. I let it slide.

Fucked up #2. MAJOR. MAJOR. MAJOR. TRIGGER WARNING. I SWEAR TO GOD JUST SKIP THIS IF YOU’RE EASILY TRIGGERED BY SUICIDE. I’LL MARK IT  WITH “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” IF IT’S DONE. JUST. OKAY?

Same events occur. Messages telling me to go to Jerick. Ayt. Cool.  So I rush over to his place. I see you asking “How you gonna get in through the main gate?” I got lucky. Someone was gonna enter the same time as me. I reached his door and the lights were off. Pitch black. Sketchy. I went in. His place wasn’t that big. So I went in and saw a silhouette of him standing on the window about to jump. I coax him to come down and sit down and talk. He said he felt abandoned and that I wasn’t there to help him. And how it was my fault that he felt sad. THEN HE OFFERS TO BUY ME DINNER..?? AT ARISTOCRAT?? if you’re a Filipino and from Manila. You know.

We talk over dinner and he confessed that he only kept talking to me because he wanted to make a female friend of mine jealous. WE WERE LAUGHING THE NIGHT AWAY. And I come  back to my unit. And think.. DID I JUST GET FUCKING PLAYED AGAIN?????????? I sat on my bed puzzling  the scheme that was the attempted suicide.

Issue 1.) WHY THE FUCK WAS HIS DOOR CONVENIENTLY UNLOCKED??  I mean.. everyone locks their front door. You lock it. You always lock it.

Issue 2.) Did he fake a suicide attempt.. JUST TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

Issue 3.)  I got played.

At this point. I avoided him altogether. Facebook, Twitter and his number.

I learned later that same year, I wasn’t the only victim. And that he too chose to keep it to himself.

I’ve had trouble believing people since. I’ve had trouble getting attached to people because of the vulnerability or what might happen.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s been 3 years since this incident. And I’ve never publicly talked about this issue. I was scared. I was scared of what would happen to him if I accused him of sexual assault. A mom and dad would lose their child, and a person’s hopes and dreams would be unreachable. It was also hard for me to talk about it because.. I felt easily dismissed but at the same time, I didn’t want to dwell on a topic that brought  back memories as bad as this one.

I decided to just keep it to myself and hope he becomes a better person. I thought I could just put a tough face on and power through the day. It’s not like that. I’ve developed a fear of trusting people and being overly attached. And for a short time, developed a sick and twisted mindset. At one point, I resented gay people. I thought “what if all of them are as manipulative as him?” –I no longer do of course. I’ve grown past the stereotyping, and I’ve met wonderful people of the LGBT+ community.

Okay, the thing is. Sexual Assault and Gas Lighting.. are bad. In a word, they’re bad. In more words, it’s.. I don’t know. I felt like a dog who had to obey their master. A dog who was at the mercy of their master so I could eat and be able to speak when I’m allowed to. At the same time, I felt like I was just another chunk of  meat for someone’s pleasure. It’s like I wasn’t human. I wasn’t a guy who goes to school, plays video games and watches anime. I was just another guy on Jerick’s list of people he’d want to get on top of.